The Café on the Corner
by jazzin juke
Summary: It's just a normal café, in a not-so normal city, run by a maybe-less-than-normal barista, with decidedly not normal customers. Get ready for the coffeeshop AU like no other as we follow the story of a young café owner and her (un)fortunate habit of getting dragged into ridiculous adventures.
1. Chapter 1: In Which It All Begins

Grand Line City is a very big, very unusual city.

It consists of two parts: Paradise, where you tend to find more of your shady characters, and New World, where you still find shady characters, just disguised as people of high society. There's a street that runs all the way down the middle of the city that marks the border between Paradise and New World called the Red Line. Aptly named because the street is red. Clever, I know.

Its inhabitants have a saying: 'if you don't like the weather here, wait five minutes and maybe you will.' Grand Line's weather is so chaotic, some days might have snow, sunshine, rain, and everything in between. The only time the weather actually follows the seasons is for two weeks about every other month.

But, the weather isn't important right now. We have a story to get to. And that story begins right on the border of Paradise and New World, in a little café.

It's just a normal café: cozy, warm, and inviting. It opens every day (except Monday) at 7:00 am (except on Sunday when it opens at 10:00 am.) There's a display case housing numerous pastries and baked goods, plenty of tables and plush chairs where one can sit and relax, a counter where a cash register, a telephone, and several old phonebooks rests on one end, and one employee—a young woman, around 21 years of age, the average height of 5'7" (and a half), with straight light brown hair that falls to her waist even though she usually ties it up, bangs that fall into her eyes, wearing a plain grey cardigan—leans on the other.

This sole employee of the café is named Lily E. May and she made it her point in life to make each and every one of her customers feel welcome to her humble café and learn all of their names in the process. If there was nothing for her to do, she could be found leaning against the counter, filling out Sudoku puzzles.

Yes, it was just your average, ordinary, everyday café, with you average, ordinary, everyday worker—

The door of the café bursts open, revealing a 19-year-old boy with messy black hair and a scar under his eye. There are now cracks in the wall where the door slammed into it.

"MAY!" he yells, "I WANT FOOD!"

A phone book going 80 miles per hour hits the teen in the forehead, knocking him out cold.

What? He interrupted my introduction.

Sighing, I give up my puzzle, go retrieve the phonebook I just threw, and head to the kitchen to start preparing food for my first customer of the day, who I know requires extraordinary amounts of food.

Yup, it's just your average, ordinary, everyday café with a worker who can throw phonebooks with frightening speed and precision, and decidedly _**not**_ normal customers.

* * *

 **2 January/Saturday/7:20 am**

Monkey D. Luffy is usually the first person to come to the café. He's usually followed by his older brother, Portgas D. Ace, who has a love for fire and a problem with wearing shirts.

"Maaaaaaaay, foooooood…," Luffy whines, having recovered from being KO'd by a phonebook.

He now clings to the named woman's (in other words, me's) waist, the rest of his body dragging on the ground as I move about the kitchen, preparing a mountain of scrambled eggs and bacon, paying no mind to the teen as his feet drag on the tiled floor.

 _ **-**_ _CRASH_ _ **-**_

And that would be the signal that Luffy's older brother has arrived, and that there are now more cracks in my café's wall.

"May! Luffy!" he calls out in greeting.

And so enters bottomless-pit-for-a-stomach-number-two.

I place the plates on the counter and the brothers both attack the food, shoveling down as much as they can as fast as (in)humanly possible. I watch as Luffy tries to steal some from his older brother's plate. He's thwarted because Ace is much faster and stronger (something Luffy denies).

"How's Oyaji doing, Ace?" I ask the older D brother.

"He's good," the freckled 22-year-old says around a mouthful of food, "He recently got back from his—,"

His face hits the counter in a sudden fit of sleep and Luffy takes his brother's narcoleptic attack as a chance to steal the rest of his food.

"—whale watching trip."

Annnn~d he's back up, carrying on as if he didn't just fall asleep in the middle of his sentence. He goes to take a bite of food, only to find that it's gone.

"Luffy!" he yells, catching the culprit in a headlock before the teen can run away.

Now, to me, Luffy is like my baby. My overgrown, silly, ever hungry, very destructive, mind-boggling-stupid-at-times baby, but my baby all the same. So, if I see him getting hurt (of course my phonebook throwing doesn't count, duh) my inner Mama Bear rears her vicious and overprotective head.

Ace has a lovely face-to-face confrontation with one of my phonebooks, knocking him out while Luffy makes a dash for it.

"Thanks for the food, May, it was super delicious!" the energetic boy calls over his shoulder, leaving me with an unconscious Ace and several new cracks in the wall by the entrance as the door slams shut and a silence falls. But, the quiet doesn't last long as Ace comes to, some blood trickling down from his nose.

"Ugh, that wasn't cool, May," he complains, rubbing the back of his hand against his nose to get rid of the blood.

"Yeah, yeah. Here," I hand him a handkerchief to use to staunch the bleeding, "By the way, you have to pay for the food seeing as Luffy split."

"Can't you just give me a discount since you love me so much?"

"No. Pay up."

"Maa~aay," he pleads, giving me puppy dog eyes.

Oh no.

Not the eyes.

"No."

Must. Not. Look. Into. Eyes.

"Maaaaay~."

Nope nope nope nope.

My resolve is breaking. My solution is to close my eyes and plug my ears to Ace's begging. It's very effective.

…

I chance a peek.

He's left without paying.

" _Sonnuva-!"_

* * *

 **9:00 am**

Ah, what a wonderful game Sudoku is. It's been a slow start to the day. No customers have come in since Luffy and Ace left without paying, those cheap sons-of-bi—Nope. I don't want to think about it right now.

Anyway, it's nice and peaceful. I have my book of puzzles out and it's quite fun. I hum a little bit as I fill in the numbers.

Someone clears their throat.

" _Holy Christmas on a cracker!"_ I scream, startled out of my wits. I swear, my soul just died from shock and has ascended to the next world.

There's a man standing in front of the counter. I hadn't even felt his presence, let alone heard him enter the door. He took me by surprise.

"Whoa, are you a ninja or something?" I blurt out. I kinda don't have much of a filter between my brain and my mouth. It's something I need to work on.

The man blinks at me. I've never seen him before. He's tall—really tall—and has a really serious face with sharp golden eyes. His eyes are quite unique, but they aren't what interest me. What I'm curious about is how he got his facial hair to be so pointy.

But, right now, he's staring at me and it's extremely intimidating.

"Haha, um, sorry about that," I say, a little nervously, "What would you like?"

"Coffee, black," he says. Wow, his voice is deep. He could be a radio host! Or record audio books. I would listen to those.

"Okay, coming right up!" I smile, grabbing up a coffee mug, striking up a conversation as per usual, "So, do you have a name, or can I just call you Mr. Ninja?"

"Dracule Mihawk."

"Oo, that's a cool name, I wish mine were that awesome. I'm Lily E. May."

He says nothing else as he takes his coffee to a table and starts reading the newspaper. Okay, fine, be that way, Mr. I'm-too-dark-and-brooding-to-be-social. I didn't want to talk to you anyway.

The door slams open for the third time today as I clean the counter huffily, brushing a few coffee grinds away. It's one of my semi-regulars and good friends, Zoro. He is constantly scowling and has strange hair that is naturally green. How, I have no idea, but it is.

"May, get me some coffee."

Oh yeah, and his manners are impeccable.

"Zoro, one of these days I'm going to poison your drink for being so rude to me," I say cheerfully.

He smiles cockily.

"Psh, you think I'm too sexy to do something like that."

Well, he _does_ have a nice body. But I've seen way too many muscular people in my life to be much affected by things like that anymore.

"Sorry, I prefer men like Sanji," I say, smiling right back at him as annoyance flashes across his face.

Sanji, a mutual friend of ours (though Zoro might disagree), is an amazing chef that works at the Baratie restaurant a few blocks down from my café. He's blond, classy, and a notorious lady charmer (whether he is a successful one remains to be seen.) He and Zoro have an ever-on-going ego rivalry. No one even knows how or when it started, but start it did and happening it is.

"What?! How can you like that pervert?"

"Relax, I'm kidding. Here's your coffee."

The green-haired man takes a sip and a small smile makes its way onto his face. I pride myself on making some of the best coffee in Grand Line, able to gain the approval of even non-coffee drinkers, so naturally any appreciation I see for my coffee puts me in a good mood.

"How's the dojo? Are the kids ready for another year?" I ask.

Zoro runs a dojo in the city that used to belong to his adoptive father. You wouldn't think that he's the kind of guy capable of teaching kids, but he is surprisingly good at handling them.

"Tch. The brats are annoying as ever," he says, but I know he's actually fond of them. He's just a tough-love kind of guy.

"I'm sure that's only because they have you as a sensei."

"Whatever."

"Alright, you have your coffee, now shoo shoo," I wave my hand dismissively, "Oh, and if you see Luffy or Ace, tell them that they can either come willingly and pay for breakfast or I will hunt them down, flambé their hats, make them eat them, and then they'll never be allowed to eat here again."

"Geez, remind me never to get on your bad side."

"See you around, Zoro," I smile.

"Later."

I walk over to my customer who is still reading the newspaper as my friend leaves.

"Can I get you anything else?"

"No."

He stands to leave.

"Alright, have a nice day!" I call after him. The only response I get is the door clicking quietly closed.

Another (happy?) customer. I think.

* * *

 **12:00 pm**

It's been a slow day, with only one or two customers after the anti-social Mr. Dracule. I haven't had any more visits from my friends so far, but I met a few new people and that's always nice. No one else seems to be coming in, so I'm closing for a lunch break. Not for me, oh no, it's for Luffy and Ace. Seriously, they come to me for nearly every meal throughout the day, and sometimes for dessert as well. Once they get here, I'll be so busy in the kitchen, I won't have time to run the front of the house.

I should really make them learn how to cook for themselves.

Wait. This is Luffy and Ace we're talking about. Luffy would probably try to eat raw meat and Ace would more likely than not burn everything playing with fire. And, knowing them, they'd manage to make something explode along the way. Actually, make that several things.

Nevermind, I'm good with making food for them if it means I can save people an emergency trip to the hospital.

Right on cue, Luffy crashes through the door, his brother not far behind. My poor wall. I'm going to have to repair it soon. With diamond or something.

However, it seems it's not like it's not just the D bros visiting today. They dragged Ace's friend, Marco, with them. I like Marco, he's a really chill guy and he's handsome, I guess, in a sleepy-eyed sort of way. Like Ace, he has a problem with wearing shirts properly although he actually bothers to wear them, which is more than I can say for Ace most of the time. It's just that he never buttons them up, leaving his chest exposed for all.

Both he and Ace work at the city's zoo that's owned by this beast of a man named Edward Newgate, more commonly known as Whitebeard. Which is odd because he doesn't even have a beard.

He has a moustache. A very big one.

But no beard.

Anyway, they're more like a family than anything at the zoo, and refer to Whitebeard as 'Pops' or 'Oyaji' as per his request. Why he insists on this remains a mystery to me, as do most of the inner workings of the zoo. But, it's none of my business.

"May! Food!"

That is pretty much Luffy's greeting every time he sees me. In fact, it's usually concerning if he greets me in any other fashion.

"No. You guys didn't pay for breakfast, so I'm not making you anything else."

"What!? Nooo, May, I'll die if I don't eat," Luffy cries.

"Marco, can I get you anything?" I ask the spiky-haired blonde, ignoring Luffy completely, "You must be hungry."

"What? Why does Marco get food?" Ace demands.

"Because he pays for it."

Luffy looks like he's going to cry. Gosh dangit, those stupid puppy-dog eyes! No, I am not doing this again. I'm going to look him in the square in the eye and refuse him.

…

No, I'm not breaking, my will is too strong-oh shoot, Ace has joined in on the puppy eyes. No! My resolve is slipping.

A tear falls from Luffy's eye. Okay, I give.

"Aw, Luffy! I'm so sorry!" I have to give him a hug!

"May, it's really sad that two grown men—or at least, almost grown men—can use puppy eyes on you, yoi," Marco sighs, shaking his head.

"Shut up, Marco, how could you say 'no' to this face?" I squish Luffy's cheeks together and turn him to face Marco. He looks so adorable and his cheek are so squishy!

The only response I get is a raised narrow eyebrow.

"Doesh shish mean we get lunsch free, too?" Luffy asks.

Hmmm, should I let them mooch? They already owe me a lot from the number of times they've pulled the 'dine and dash' on me. I'll just be sure to pull a lot of favors from them later.

Alright.

"Fine, but only because you're so cute."

"Yea, food!"

They so owe me big time. But for now, I make my way to the kitchen, listening to the boys chat and argue with a smile on my face.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a, everyone! First of all, Happy New Year! This is my first One Piece fanfiction, and I hope you all like it. It's extremely different from stories I usually write, because I'm trying to capture that light-hearted feel that One Piece has to it, and I hope I'm successful. Lemme know if I am, yeah? If you can't tell, this is centered around an OC (not to mention, it's a coffeeshop AU, though I don't think it's a typical one), so if that's not your cup of tea, best to stop reading. I can tell you that May is going to be the only OC though. Plans for this story? It is going to be very long, with a very slow build up, and it's not plot driven. If anything, I'd call it a collection of crazy adventures, bad jokes, nerdy references, with a lil' bit of story thrown in as an afterthought.**

 **Hope you'll stick around!**

 **-jj**

 **(Also, I probably don't need to say this, but I don't own One Piece. This applies to all following chapters, so I'm only saying it once.)**


	2. Chapter 2: In Which I Run A Lot

**3 January/Sunday/12:50 am**

Oh my god, I am so tired. I'm only just getting home to my apartment above the café and all I want to do is sleep. At 6:00, I was ready to go grocery shopping and then come home and drop.

Did I get to?  
No.

Obviously not.

So, you're probably wondering what happened. Well, I'll tell you.

* * *

 **2 January/Saturday/6:00 pm**

I lock up the café and am now headed to the store because I'm basically out of food. What I _really_ want to do is crawl up the stairs and curl up with a good book and then go to sleep. But, if I don't go shopping now, I'll regret it tomorrow.

Barely two steps away from the café, I hear shouting in the distance. Nothing to do with me, nope, just gonna go on my merry way—

"MAY!"

Dang it.

I turn to see Izo, another of my friends who works at Whitebeard's zoo. He has an amazing fashion sense and is pretty. Like, extremely pretty, it's awe-inspiring how attractive he is and I'm way off topic.

So.

I see Izo.

Running at me at a frightening speed with no signs of slowing.

"IZO, WHAT-!"

"May! You have to come with me!"

And, he picks me up effortlessly, throws me over his shoulder, and keeps running at a break-neck pace.

"Izo, what the he-?!"

"No time to explain, we have to run!"

So.

Here I am, tossed over the shoulder my friend and there's really nothing I can do about it because the bugger is strong, even though he's flipping skinny.

It's so unfair.

Izo keeps running like a mad man until we reach a cover of trees at a park where he finally puts me down.

"Are you going to explain why you kidnapped me in the middle of the street?" I ask immediately, hands on my hips. I'm okay with little adventures, so long as I know that they're happening ahead of time. Otherwise, I can be a tad cross.

"Oyaji put up a challenge at the zoo that the first person to get a kiss from you before midnight will get a raise."

…

" _What?!_ "

"I know, and now you have a lot of people that are looking for you."

"How could he do something like this, Izo?!"

"Oyaji will do strange things when he's bored," he shakes his head, sighing in exasperation.

"I am going to beat him over the head as soon as I can."

Izo places a hand on my shoulder comfortingly.

"Now, I know you're mad, but we have to focus on keeping you safe until midnight," he says soothingly. Izo is really in touch with his feminine side and loves girls to death, making him very protective of them. In a sisterly(?) way. It's nice, even if he goes a little overboard sometimes. But, I'm not thinking about that right now.

"What are we going to do? I still haven't had my first kiss," I wail in despair. Yeah I'm probably 21 and still haven't kissed anyone. You got a problem? I don't care.

"It's alright, May, we'll work this out. I won't let them touch you."

* * *

 **6:45 pm**

Our temporary hiding spot in the park only lasted half an hour. And then came the first attack.

I swear Pops secretly trains his workers to be ninjas or something. They jumped out of the trees and before I realized what was happening, Izo had swept me up onto his shoulder and was running off again.

"May, we're going to have to get weapons if you're going to survive the next five hours!" he says, still outrunning the people chasing us despite carrying me.

"Yes, sir, commander, sir!" I reply, with some difficulty due to being jostled up and down on his shoulder.

After shaking our pursuers (with maybe just a little violence…), he brings us to his house. It's the weirdest thing because it's a traditional Japanese-style home, and that's fine n'all, but it's surrounded by a forest…in the middle of the city. I know Grand Line is big, but this is ridiculous.

Anyway, we suit up in battle gear: army pants, black camis, combat boots, and black stripes on our cheeks to complete the look. I wonder why Izo has clothes like this…in my size…

I'm not going to think about it too much.

Our weapons are heavy duty water guns and water grenades (balloons), four of both each. I have pepper spray as an added precaution. I must say, we look like a pair of topnotch badasses.

I tie up my hair securely, as does Izo, who is looking uncharacteristically macho.

"Let's do this."

* * *

 **7:30 pm**

"We're under attack!"

I am currently running through the forest surrounding Izo's house (seriously, how big _is_ this place?) He stayed behind to give me a chance to escape from the 20 people who decided to ambush us while we were admiring Izo's Zen garden, which was honestly quite rude of them in my opinion.

Oyaji has at least 1600 employees at the zoo. Even if not all of them are participating in this stupid challenge, that is still a lot of people after my lips.

I am never going to make it to midnight.

* * *

 **8:00 pm**

I finally made it out of the forest and back onto the streets of Grand Line. I'm now running for my life down Red Line, 30 of Whitebeard's workers hot on my tail. I honestly do not know how I am going to survive this night.

Up ahead, I see something that gives me hope. Or rather, someone.

A familiar blond is leaning against a building, taking a smoking break, one leg propped on the wall behind him, the picture of cool.

"Sanji!" I yell to get his attention.

He turns in surprise and sees me. Instantly, his cool demeanor is replaced by heart eyes and a ridiculous smile.

"Ah~, May-chan, you look so sexy in that!"

"Yeah, thanks," I pant, out of breath already; suffice to say, I'm not someone who goes running all that often, "Look, these guys are chasing me! Can you save me? You'd be my knight in shining armor!"

Sanji can never refuse women. I feel a little bad using him like this, but let me tell you, the guy has a pair of legs on him and can kick anyone to kingdom come.

And also, I really have to escape.

"What?! How dare those bastards try to lay a finger on my sweet Lily flower!"

"Thanks, Sanji!" I pat his shoulder and keep on running, leaving those people to their fate.

They shouldn't get hurt.

At least, not too badly.

* * *

 **8:35 pm**

Now I'm taking refuge at Zoro's dojo. For whatever reason, it's the first place that came to mind that wasn't my coffeeshop. I took this chance to refill my water guns. Fortunately, I haven't had to use my 'grenades' yet, 'cause I still have about three and a half hours of this madness to go.

"Why the hell would that old geezer do this?" Zoro sighs. We're sitting across from each other, both enjoying some green tea.

"You think I know? I am so going to kill Pops once this is over…"

A moment of silence passes as we drink our tea.

"So, what's you plan?" Zoro asks, giving me a serious look.  
"Stay alive until midnight."  
"Ah, that's a good plan. Simple enough."  
"I know, right?"

Sadly, our conversation is broken by the entrance of 40 people busting into the dojo. Zoro springs into action, meeting them head on, a wooden practice sword drawn.

"Go on, May, I'll take care of them!" he yells like the noble bushido he is.

"Your sacrifice is appreciated, soldier! I'm out!"

And so, I'm on the run yet again.

* * *

 **8:50 pm**

I cannot catch a break. As soon as I left the dojo, I got spotted by the largest group of zoo employees yet.

I'm back on the streets, running from 50 women and men. I'm worried that I haven't seen Marco, Ace, or Thatch (I don't feel like explaining him now) yet, but I can't exactly think too much about it at the moment. I need to focus on getting away, and the chances of that look they are dwindling rapidly.

I almost cry in relief as I see a straw hat farther up the street, resting on the head of my favorite monkey.

"Luffy!" I scream, not bothering to slow down; he looks around, smiles when he recognizes me, and waves enthusiastically, "THESE GUYS CHASING ME ATE ALL THE MEAT I WAS MAKING YOU FOR DINNER."

May god have mercy on their poor souls.

Luffy looks murderous, which is which is quite possibly the scariest thing a person can witness.

With that, I sprint past him, leaving the suckers for my little baby to deal with. I definitely feel bad for this one, but they shouldn't have been chasing me.

So, you know what?

#sorrynotsorry

* * *

 **9:00 pm**

I've entered the belly of the beast. The name of this particular beast?

Whitebeard's zoo.

Out of all the places I could have gone, my genius brain chooses this one. At least there's a lot of good hiding places.

Right now, I'm hiding with the panda bears. It's alright because there's a lot of bamboo to conceal me, and because animals have a highly unusual attraction to me, there's a bunch of cute, cuddly pandas curled up around me.

Aww, one just snorted.

A leaf tickles my nose.

Oh no.

…

"ACHOO!"

"Hey, is someone there?"  
"Nope, only pandas here, there's no one hiding, you should move along!"  
"Really? Then what sounds do pandas make?"

"…Moo?"

"Guys, I found her!"

Dang it, there goes one hideout. I was hoping I could stay there the whole night.

* * *

 **9:30 pm**

I'm now hiding in an enclosure with these monkey-like creatures. Or maybe they're more baboon-like?

Anyway, they're awake and peering at me curiously. They seem really smart and are copying every move I make. I guess you could say 'monkey see, monkey do.' It makes me wonder if they can do more than just imitate actions though...

"Hey, can you guys speak?" I ask the monkeys.

"I found her!" A yell comes from somewhere behind me.

Shoot, I really need to stop saying everything that comes to mind out loud. It is going to get me in serious trouble someday. That day might actually be coming up very quickly if I don't find a new hiding place soon.

I leave the enclosure of the monkey-things, but pause when I hear sounds of fighting. Looking back, I see that the animals are actually fighting with the men chasing me and holding their own surprisingly well. I look at the plaque on the exhibit: Humandrills.

What an interesting name.

* * *

 **10:00 pm**

Two. More. Hours.

I think I will die of exhaustion before then. There have been way too many close calls with the zoo workers and I've had to use two of my water balloons…and maybe just a little pepper spray. Fortunately, I can fill up my water guns at any of the bathrooms around the zoo, but I am tired. What I've seen tonight has only confirmed my suspicions that Oyaji trains his workers.

They have so much. Freaking. Energy.

I spend my days lazing around a café! I'm not built for running around for hours on end in a zoo full of crazy strong people.

I still haven't seen Marco, Ace, or Thatch, and it's starting to scare me rather than comfort me.

Anyway, my hiding spot right now is with the meerkats. They are absolutely adorable. I've named that one Timone, that one Tim, that one Simba, Akeela, Puumba, that one Mimi-fifi-coco-puff-kins…

" _Hakuna matata, what a wonderful phrase_ ," I sing.

"She's over here!"

I really do need to control my mouth.

* * *

 **10:30 pm**

Cornered.

My luck finally ran out after I left the meerkats and I'm now trapped by like, 20 guys. And they're closing in. My water guns can't help me now.

' _Noooooo, my first kiss! It was supposed to be with someone special!'_

Something catches my foot as I'm backing up and I stumble, but regain my balance after wildly waving my arms. I look down to see what it is.

A gift from heaven: it's a hose. Random, but I'll take anything I can right now. And so, I snatch it up and-

"Hasta la vista, babies."

I let it rip, and it is glorious. Having successfully created a distraction, I run for my life. There is no way I'm giving up now, not when I've already made it this far! My legs gaining power from this burst of determination, I leave behind the soaked men tripping in puddles of water.

* * *

 **11:05 pm**

Less than an hour to go. I think I can do this.

I've taken up residency in the bird sanctuary, in the birds of prey section to be specific. It's nice, calm, and dark here, with the nocturnal predators swooping silently all over the place.

' _Maybe I can stay here until midnight.'_

Someone grabs me from behind and I scream bloody murder.

' _Or not.'_

Being the completely rational person I am and totally not freaking out from the surprise attack, I try to claw, scratch, and bite my way out of my captor's grip. But damn, are they strong.

I look over my shoulder.

It's Marco, smirking in a sinister (and if I'm being completely honest, creepy) way. I should have known—he's the one in charge of all the birds at the zoo. I walked right into his territory.

He leans in closer despite my wild struggles.

"Kiss the little birdy," he chuckles, clearly thinking that he's won.

But, before our lips meet, he yelps in sudden pain. He looks around confused at what hit him and can't find anything. But, it soon becomes clear what happened when multiple birds dive on him, screeching and clawing at him with their talons, batting him with their wings. While Marco is being attacked, I slip away and start running once again.

I have never been more appreciative of the fact that animals like me so much in my entire life.

* * *

 **11:50 pm**

I found Ace and Thatch.

Apparently, they teamed up and that is really no bueno for me because Thatch is one pompadoured sonnuva poodle that loves to play pranks, often elaborate and intricate in design. Together with Ace, they make one dynamic (read: destructive) duo.

Ever since I left the bird sanctuary, I have been narrowly dodging traps set up by the pair.

So far there have been no less than nets shooting out of nowhere, cages falling from the sky, trapdoors opening randomly on the ground, I'm pretty sure tranquilizer darts were shot somewhere along the way, and a pit of quicksand.

 _Quicksand._

 _ **How.**_

I've lost all of my weapons at this point, having been swallowed by the sand but, miraculously, I've managed to avoid all of their traps. How, I have no idea, but I have.

So here I am, tired, tired, _really_ tired, some more tired on top of that, and shirtless.

Yeah. Shirtless.

One of the traps, a cage that sprang up from the ground intending to close me in, snapped shut on the edge of my top as I barely managed to avoid it. I could hear Thatch and Ace down the path I was on, approaching quickly. Not wanting to lose everything when I was so close, I ditched my shirt and left it hanging from the cage.

Thank god Izo gave me a bikini to wear under this outfit, otherwise I'd be really embarrassed. Again, not going to think too deeply about why he has these things in my size.

* * *

 **11:59 pm**

Six hours. _Six hours_.

Six hours of running, dodging, hiding, evading, and doing everything in my power to protect my first kiss.

In 60 seconds, I can finally stop running and tell this challenge up yours.

Hallelujah.

But not yet. There are still 50 seconds left, and I can hear Ace's feet thundering right behind me, hot on my heels. I think Thatch has gotten stuck in one of his own traps. Serves him right, the meddling jerk.

40 seconds and the footfalls are getting closer. I can hear his breath, hard and fast, just like mine.

30 seconds, I see hands reach in front of me and suddenly, I'm on the ground, all wind knocked out of me, a heavy weight landing on my back and pushing me down.

20 seconds, the weight leaves me for a moment and Ace flips me onto my back, still keeping me down. He's panting, but I'm in much more worse shape, struggling to breathe again. Then, he takes a deep breath, looks down at me and smirks.

"Looks like I win."

10 seconds.

I squeeze my eyes shut as he leans in.

8 seconds.

' _Ace, I am so sorry.'_

5 seconds.

I shove my knee into the place where the sun don't ever shine. Or at least, shouldn't.

 _Hard_.

A high pitched wail escapes the man on top of me.

Somewhere, the zoo's clock tower strikes midnight.

I wiggle and worm my way out from under Ace who is making these weird strangled noises and looks like he is in serious pain.

I'm too relieved to feel sorry for him at the moment.

"Haha, bitches, my first kiss remains untainted! Suck on that!" I yell into the night, proclaiming my success, giddy with triumph (and also, probably lack of oxygen.)

Now.

I am going home.

I am going to sleep.

And I'm not dealing with any more madness until 7:00 am.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Hope you guys liked it! Like I said in the first chapter, this isn't going to be a plot-driven story. I won't be uploading two chapters a day that often, but I plan on uploading a chapter on most days. Tell me, am I doing any good at making this story humorous? It can be really hard to tell if your own work is funny sometimes, so I'd like to hear your thoughts on it so far. Wow, but three followers and two favs since I posted this a couple hours ago, thank so much guys! (Apikins, Blue VanLocke, Littledreamersworld, aniqa1234, and DemonicLightning, you are all wonderful ^-^) Stick around for more!**

 **-jj**


	3. Chapter 3: In Which There Are Books

**3 January/Sunday/7:00 am**

On Sundays, my café doesn't open until 10:00. Who gets up before then on a Sunday anyway?

Well, I guess I do.

Why am I up this early?

I need to pick up groceries.

See, I go through a lot of food. Not by myself, ooooh no.

See, when you know a lot of people (like I do) who have black holes for stomachs (like _they_ do), well, let's just say it's rare to have food in the fridge for more than two days. And so, I shop. A _lot_.

And I would have gone yesterday, but I couldn't for certain reasons that I don't care to discuss ever again. So, here I am, trudging down the streets of Grand Line at 7:00 on a Sunday morning, with a large umbrella shielding me from the rain and a runny nose because I'm sick. Apparently, it's not the best idea to run around in the middle of the night while it's Winter with water guns and only wearing a bikini and army pants. Who would be stupid enough to do that anyway?

I just hope I feel better before I have to work.

Anyway, I'm shopping today, early, before I have to open the café. And I only go to one place that has it all—the Buggy Mall.

It's a store owned by this extremely grumpy guy named Buggy who has crazy blue hair and a large red nose. I think it's his real nose, too. I fondly call him Rudolph sometimes. We have a love/hate relationship.

Mostly hate.

All in good humor, of course.

But seriously, this place has everything. In the event of a rabid penguin apocalypse, this is the first place I would run and barricade myself in. I enter, grab a cart, and begin my search for things I need.

Mostly, it's meat.

Some milk and eggs.

More meat.

Some more tea of my favorite brand, I'm running low.

More meat.

After filling up the basket to maximum capacity (mostly with meat), I pull up to check out, sniffling and coughing the entire way.

"Well, if it isn't the flashy bitch."

"Morning to you, too, Buggy. You're looking particularly flashy today," I say with a smile and promptly sneeze.

Before he can retort, probably either to tell me to shut up or get a tissue, the door flies open and there's an oily-looking man standing in the doorway.

"Everybody freeze!" he yells, "My name is Higuma and I'm robbing this store!"

Really? At—I grab Buggy's arm to look at his wristwatch—7:45 in the morning?

"Hey, Buggy, got a phonebook?"

"Hm? Ah, yeah. Here you are."

"Thanks."

Down the self-proclaimed Higuma goes, the phonebook making a satisfyingly loud _thud!_ as it collides with his face.

"I'll leave you to deal with him," I say, picking up my groceries, stepping on Higuma as I walk out the door.

Just another morning in the everyday life of Lily E. May.

" _Achoo!_ "

* * *

 **10:00 am**

Wow, Luffy isn't here yet. Strange.

Oh well! It's nice and quiet, and I've got my Sudoku puzzle book and I'm feeling better. At least, I'm not sneezing anymore.

Someone clears their throat.

I arm myself with a phonebook quicker than the drop of a hat and look around for the intruder. They stand directly in front of the counter.

It's Mr. Ninja.

Otherwise known as Dracule Mihawk.

"Seriously, how do you do that?" I ask incredulously.

"What?" he raises an angular eyebrow at me.

"Be so sneaky. I have a bell over the door and everything! It's not like you _can't_ make it go off…unless you can walk through walls…." I stare wide-eyed at him; of course! The answer is so simple! This man can materialize through solid objects and that's why I didn't hear him come in.

"Can I just order?"

"Ah, right, right. Sorry, Mr. Dracule, coffee. Black, right?"

I have a really good memory. Well, for some things. Mostly just people's names and what they like to order. Most everything else goes right over my head. It's selective memory, I guess.

He takes his coffee and goes to a table, picking up the newspaper.

Whoa, déjà vu.

The bell above the door rings and Zoro walks in.

For real. Déjà vu.

"Morning, Zoro!"

"Gah, May, I keep telling you to stop moving your café around. It took me a long to find its new location this time."

Ah, that is something about my green-haired friend worth mentioning. Zoro has the worst sense of direction ever. No, really, the guy could get lost walking in a straight line where there's footprints painted on the ground showing where to go with bright fluorescent signs pointing him in the right direction.

"What does my café look like, Howl's Moving Castle? Sorry to burst your delusional bubble, but it's not. Although that would be sweet."

"Shut up, it's not my fault the city is always changing where the streets are."

That's the other thing about this directionally-challenged man: he denies (vehemently) that he can't walk two steps without taking a wrong turn.

"You'd think with all the amazing advancements in technology, such as GPS, you wouldn't get lost," I shake my head at his helplessness.

"Just get me coffee."  
"Fine, since you asked _so_ nicely."

"Where's Luffy?"

Hm, I don't know. That's worrying.

 _ **-**_ _CRASH_ _ **-**_

Oh, there he is.

"May! Food!"

Yup, no questioning that it's Luffy.

"Luffy, you're being too loud," I chide him; normally I wouldn't mind, but I have a customer right now, and it might bother him.

"Foooooood."

And so begins our routine: me making Luffy enough food to feed a small army while he clings to a) my waist, b) one of my legs, or c) both of my legs. All the while, I listen to my happy little ball of destruction talking about random things.

No, I mean _really_ random things.

I've learned to tune out most of what Luffy says, but I think at some point, he was talking about whales the size of mountains, then talking reindeers wearing hats, and somehow got on the topic of little men with giant afros that run around in treasure chests so that they looked like potted plants.

As I said, random. But that's just normal Luffy.

Zoro listens from the counter, drinking his coffee, without much input because he's also used to it while Mr. Tall, Dark, and Anti-Social reads his newspaper and ignores us.

I finally finish making Luffy breakfast. There's not as much as usual because there's no sign of Ace. Which is good, because I am extremely mad at him for reasons I don't care to discuss ever again. Anyway, while Luffy is shoveling down food faster than should be physically possible, the bell rings and in walks Sanji, floating on a cloud of hearts. Metaphorically speaking, that is, but it might as well be in reality.

"May-chan~, I've come to visit you on this fine Sunday morning!"

"Oh great, it's the pervert cook," Zoro grumbles.

Oo, this should get real interesting real fast.

"Tch. What is a shitty swordsman doing here, May-chan?"

"Hi, Sanji!" Luffy says through a mouthful of food and waves his arms in his usual excited manner.

"May-chan, this stupid marimo isn't bothering you, is he?"

"What was that, you damn curly brow?"

The two men are now in each other's faces, chest to chest. I get a sudden image of elephant seals fighting and have to stifle a laugh.

"I wasn't talking to you, moss-head."

"That's it!"

The two take fighting stances.

I sigh.

Before either of them can move, I pick up two of my handy-dandy phonebooks. Both of them go down, steaming lumps on their heads. Luffy laughs, totally not concerned for the well-being of his two closest friends. Poor Mr. Dracule, he has to watch my friends make idiots of themselves.

Oh wait, nevermind, he's not even paying attention to them.

"What the hell was that for, May?"

Annnd, they're up.

"Take your little bro fight outside, Quintin's been broken enough."

Ah, I should explain Quintin. Quintin is a table in the café, and he's special. I brought him with me when I moved to Grand Line two years ago and he's the first table I put in the café, making him the only table that doesn't match the others. He's my pride and joy and I can't tell you how many times he's been destroyed. You see, my friends are human embodiments of wrecking balls that can walk, talk, and think (to a certain extent.) They often have 'little' fights and for some reason, it's always Quintin that gets caught in the middle of them when it happens in my café. He's been cut, smashed, thrown, broken, and so many others things that it's a miracle he's alive. Even so, he's mostly made of nails and SUPER wood glue at the moment.

He's very battered, but it gives him character in my opinion. I happen to think he's a very fine table, thank you very much, and I don't want to have to repair him _again_.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, May-chan," Sanji croons, "I was just so disgusted by this stupid marimo that I felt an overwhelming urge to kick his nose right into his ugly face."

"That's nice, but not in my café."

I finally mange to kick the Troublesome Trio out so they can go wreak havoc somewhere else. I approach the man who has been supremely indifferent to all of us this entire time.

"Can I get you anything else, Mr. Dracule?"

"No."

Alrighty then. He stands to leave.

"Have I nice day!" I call after him.

No answer. Oh well. He'll warm up eventually. They always do…

HAHAHAHA—

* * *

 **6:00 pm**

Ah~, another day gone by. And I don't have to work tomorrow! I also don't have anything planned, so I have an entire day of being lazy to look forward to.

Maybe I should start early and go upstairs and read a good book. Yeah, that sounds nice.

Hm, but I don't know what book I want to read. I've already been through all of mine multiple times now, I want something new. Making up my mind, I lock up the café and head down to Hana Books, a small little bookshop on the Paradise side of Red Line, a couple blocks down from me. It's owned by Nico Robin, a dear friend and wonderful lady who's kind and incredibly intelligent.

Like, she knows everything. It can be eerie sometimes.

The shop is very warm and inviting after the biting cold outside.

"Hello, May," a calm voice greets me. I smile at Robin, who is seated behind the check out, putting down a book she was reading.

"Hi, Robin!"

"How can I help you?"

"Just browsing for a new book," I start to comb through the shelves; they seem a bit disorganized, "Are you using a new system to sort the books?"

"Luffy was here earlier," the black-haired woman sighs, "He made everything a real _zoo_."

I frown at her choice of words, trying to figure out why she emphasized 'zoo'.

"Well, I guess that's typical of him," I pick up a book at random and flip through the pages at random.

"Hm, that's a good romance novel, if you're interested in those. Lots of _kissing_ ," I look over at Robin, who is trying to hide a smile, but laughter is shining in her dark brown eyes. It clicks.

"Oh geez, you heard about it?" I ask, mortified. I shouldn't be surprised that she knows about Oyaji's challenge, because Robin knows everything, but it's no less embarrassing.

"You should be proud, May, you managed to beat them, and that's no mean feat," she chuckles softly, "I wish I could have watched it."

I groan in exasperation.

"I still need to give Oyaji a sound beating. That was one of the worst nights of my life and I don't care to discuss it ever again."

The rest of my time in the shop is spent chatting about this and that with Robin while I search for something that catches my eye. We talk about the things that we've been up to since we last saw each other (which was only three days ago, but a lot can happen in three days) and she laughs as I go into detail about the 'zoo incident'. As I pay for my book, she lets me know about the spike of criminal activity in Grand Line recently. Like I said, she knows everything. She's mysterious like that.

"Be careful on your way home, May," she warns, "Wouldn't want you getting hurt."

"Will do," I smile at her, touched by her concern, "You take care, too. I'll see you around."

* * *

 **7:00 pm**

I leave the bookshop, a large, hard cover novel in hand and in a good mood. I can't wait to get home and crack it open.

I think a cup of tea is in order as well.

I pass an alleyway between two buildings, and out of the corner of my eye, something moves. On reflex, I bring up the book in my hands to guard, just as a body slams into me. I manage to frantically beat away what I realize is an unconscious man with my book and stand up, looking into the dark alley.

There's a fight going on.

Normally, I would walk by these kinds of things because getting involved is generally a bad idea when you're in Grand Line, but then I see that it's a bunch of guys all teaming up against one. Well, that's hardly fair.

I go to step in, but the single guy is holding his own quite well, considering he's up against eight others. He is literally throwing them around-he must be the one that threw that guy at me. Hesitating, with one foot in the alley, deliberating whether or not he needs help, I see a flash of metal—one of the guys has whipped out a pocket knife. I watch in horror as the man they're fighting gets stabbed in the side, not noticing the blade in time to stop it.

This is where I decide to step in, gripping my book more firmly. It's not a phonebook, but I suppose it'll have to do.

Those thugs will never know what hit them. They won't know that there are now several blood splatters on the cover of my new book. They will have very nasty headaches in the morning though.

The man who got stabbed isn't looking so hot, leaning heavily on the wall and clutching his side. The blood seeping between his fingers matches his flaming, spikey red hair. Okay, he looks like he could use some assistance.

Like, right now.

"What d'you want?" he spits out, glaring at me from his position.

"Hey, you alright? Here, come with me," I pull his arm over my shoulder despite his attempts to brush me off—wow, he does not look happy whatsoever. If I wasn't focused on getting him some help, I would probably run away because he looks downright murderous.

I struggle to keep him upright and walking while he mumbles incoherent sentences, mostly about leaving him alone; I need to get him to my place, fast. He's nearly passed out by the time we get there and up the stairs to my home.

' _Oof, why is he so heavy.'_

I manage to get him onto my sofa and dash for the first aid kit in the bathroom. Then I get down to work. Off comes his huge ass fur coat (interesting fashion choice?) and I take a look at the cut on his side.

Whoa, this guy is ripped.

Okay, no focus, May, focus. The cut is bit worse than I thought, it's bleeding like crazy and it needs stitches immediately. I can do that.

Trust me, when you have the friends that I do, basic medical patch ups are a need-to-know. So, I hop to it.

Soon enough, he's good and not-so-bright-and-shiny-new, but hey, he's not bleeding all over my couch anymore. At some point while I was stitching him up, he fell asleep (or passed out), so I guess I'm stuck with a guest until he wakes up.

Oh well.

I settle down into my armchair and open my new book.

* * *

 **?:? ?**

' _Oh, I suppose I fell asleep.'_

I wake up in my armchair where I drifted off, my book still in my lap. The clock reads 1:15 am. Dang, I never made dinner.

Well, better late than never.

My incidental guest is still on my couch, out cold. Aw man, I just noticed how much blood he got all over it. Oh well, I'm sure it will come out with a little work. At least, I hope it will.

I take a moment to really look at his face. It's an interesting face, very angular and dark red lips. I wonder if that's their natural color? I wouldn't be surprised.

No, I really wouldn't. I know way too many people with abnormal coloring that's completely natural.

Or maybe he just wears lipstick. That could be it, too.

I contemplate many things as I make dinner.

' _Wonder what that guy's name is. Why were those thugs attacking him? I bet they were just jealous of his hair. Is his hair naturally that spikey? I wonder if he uses hair gel or if it's like Sanji's eyebrows where they just form that shape on their own. Why are Sanji's eyebrows so curly? Maybe he puts hair curlers in them_.'

The mental image of Sanji with miniature curlers attached to his eyebrows makes me giggle.

I'm so caught up in my thoughts that I don't hear my guest come downstairs.

"Oi."

Being the ninja that I am, I can make anything a weapon, so, wielding my lethal wooden spoon that I've been using to stir the soup, I whirl around to face the intruder. I'm about to throw it like a shruiken when I realize that it's just the guy that's been on my couch for the past couple of hours. Now that he's standing, I can finally get a good look at him. He's only wearing these interesting yellow spotted pants, and wow, he's really muscular. And pale. Kinda like a Renaissance sculpture—y'know, the ones with the bulging muscles and tiny tallywackers?

"Geez, you scared me!" I say, smiling.

"Who the hell are you and where the hell am I?"

Talk about getting to the point.

"My name's Lily E. May. You were bleeding a lot after getting shanked by one of those thugs, so I decided to help. This is my café-slash-apartment."

"Tch. I didn't need any help."

"Okay." I turn back to continue stirring the soup. A silence falls.

I hum a little bit. The soup is smelling good. It could use a bit of salt though. I wonder if the guy is hungry.

 _Grrrrrrowl_.

I look up at my guest. His face is looking rather similar to his hair right now.

I think he's hungry.

So, I get out two bowls and turn off the stove. I set the soup pot and bowls on the island kitchen counter. My guest remains standing awkwardly in the doorway, his cheek still red.

"Well, you going to eat or not?" I ask as I fill my bowl and take a spoonful of soup.

' _Mm, it turned out really tasty.'_

"Tch."

My guest approaches the counter and takes a seat on one if the stools, pulling a bowl towards him and filling it.

"So, what's your name?" I ask conversationally; it's not like I can keep calling him 'my guest'.

"Eustass Kidd," he growls around the spoon in his mouth.

I can't help it.

I laugh right in his face.

I feel really bad, but seriously, his name does not fit him _at_ _all_. When you hear a name like Eustass Kidd, you think of some underdeveloped stick of a child in knickerbockers with hair perfectly combed down the middle of his head by his mother, and who has an interest in collecting bugs and stamps.

 _Not_ a six-foot-something guy that has some serious muscles, flaming red out-of-control hair, and looks like he has an interest in beating people senseless.

But, we shouldn't judge people on appearances.

Maybe he does like stamps.

"Oi, what the fuck are you laughing at?" he snarls.

"Oh-oh god," I gasp between laughs, "Sorry, sorry. Whew! Can I just call you Red?"

"Tch. Whatever."

The rest of the meal passes pretty quietly. I finish my soup and put the bowl in the sink—I'll wash it tomorrow. Right now, it's time to sleep.

"Oh, yeah, you can crash on my couch for tonight, since it's already late. I suggest you get that cut looked at soon, though. I patched it up, but I'm a barista, damnit, not a doctor," I wave to him as I make my way to the stairs, "Nighty night."

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! So, we meet a few more people and May gets to show off her fearsome book-wielding skills some more. By the way, did anyone catch the reference I put in at the end? *wink wink* Thanks to Blue VanLocke for reviewing, twice now!**

 **Like usual, let me know what you all think, and I hope you stick around!**

 **-jj**


	4. Chapter 4: In Which There Is A Dog

**4 January/Monday/7:30 am**

Mondays are my lazy days.

At least, they're my lazy days when I can afford to be lazy.

Which more often than not, I can't.

Hm, maybe it would be better to say that they _should_ be my lazy days. Yeah.

I wake up and trot down the stairs to the kitchen in my pj's, passing Red who is still crashed on my couch and hoping that today will get to be a lazy day. I grab up my Sudoku book after firing up the kettle for some morning tea and wait for Luffy to crash through the front door. Even when the café is closed, he shows up so I can feed him. Even if I tried to lock him out, he'd break down the door anyway. That's why I usually keep the door unlocked.

 _ **-**_ _CRASH_ _ **-**_

Yup.

"May!"

What? No calls for food? Is it really Luffy?

"May, look what I found!"

Well, it is definitely Luffy—that straw hat and large grin is unmistakable anywhere. In his arms is a small, fluffy white dog; or at least, should-be white dog, its fur is quite dirty. Or maybe it's a stuffed animal because it's not moving at all.

"It's a dog, May!' Luffy bounces towards me, grin plastered on his face and all but throws the poor creature at me, which I manage to catch safely, "Isn't it cool?"

' _He looks a little worse for wear_ ,' I think as I hold up the dog to look over; he stares indifferently back at me.

"Sure, Luffy, where'd you find him?" I ask—if he belongs to someone, they're probably searching for him. He really is a cute little doggie.

"I don't know."

"Huh."

Luffy tries to pet it, but it bites his hand.

"Ow! That hurt you stupid mutt!"

"Let's give you a bath," I say, ignoring Luffy's pain and walking back into the kitchen.

"What? May, he just bit me! Let's put him back outside."

"You're the one who brought him here, Luffy."

I start the warm water and get a little tub and a bar of soap from the cleaning supply closet. The dog still hasn't moved or made any sound. He stays well-behaved while I wash his coat and doesn't struggle, well, except for when Luffy tries to touch him.

I think Chou Chou would be a good name for him.

* * *

 **8:00 am**

Chou Chou is sitting on top of the counter next to the register, wrapped in a fluffy towel to dry off. He looks much better now that he's had a bath.

Me and Luffy are eating. I'm sitting next to the white dog on the counter with a cup of tea while he's on a stool, having an intense staring match with Chou Chou over his food.

I wonder how he and Ace can eat so much. Maybe their stomachs are like that thing from that Doctor-show, the Tardis. Bigger on the inside. Because, those brothers are skinny as hell and should not be able to hold as much food in them as they can. Yeah, human Tardises. Or maybe it's Tardi? Tardisen? Tardeese?

As I contemplate the correct plural form of a nonexistent time travelling box, Red chooses this time to stumble his way down the stairs. Luffy breaks his glaring contest with Chou Chou to look at the new arrival.

"Who are you?" he asks through a mouthful of fried egg and rice.

"Who the fuck wants to know?"

"Huh? I do, that's why I asked," Luffy says, confused.

"Luffy, this is Red. I found him yesterday when he needed some help and he stayed the night," I explain, hopping off the counter.

"Oh, okay."

"Tch, I didn't need help," Red says—wow his face looks really feverish.

"Hey, are you okay? You don't look so good," I ask in concern and try to feel his forehead, but he brushes my hand away.

"I'm fine, damnit, leave me alone—,"

He stumbles forward and loses consciousness before he finishes that sentence.

"Oh, shi-, Luffy, help!"

The teen helps me prop Red up and I feel his forehead.

 _Cheese and crackers,_ he's burning up! I stand and dash upstairs.

"Luffy, can you carry him? We need to get him to the hospital!" I call over my shoulder as I throw on some pants and grab my cardigan.

"Sure!"

Don't ever let Luffy's appearance fool you. The kid is a monster hiding under 5 feet and 8½ inches of lanky, skinny-ass limbs. So, he has no trouble hefting a guy that is like, a foot taller and probably twice his weight in muscle alone over his shoulder and running down the streets of Grand Line.

That's my baby for ya.

* * *

 **8:45 am**

We're here at the Thousand Sunny Hospital that is a ten minute walk (five minute run) from the café, which is good, because I don't have a car. What's not so good is that it's run by this crazy lady, Dr. Kureha, who I'm pretty sure is senile due to her old age, yet she still dresses like an 18 year old girl. I'm serious about her being insane, she almost kills half the hospital's patients. You don't have to believe me, just try not to ever end up in this hospital. Save yourself that experience.

Luffy is friends with one of the doctors here: Tony Tony Chopper. I've only met him a couple of times, but he's a very kind person, so sweet that you want to smother him with hugs and cuddles.

 _Anyway_ , so we're at the hospital, walking up to the front desk where there's this typical pretty blonde receptionist. She looks up at us from her phone in boredom and raises an eyebrow.

"Can I help you?"

"I think you can," I smile sweetly at her, "I don't know if it escaped your notice, but there's sorta a passed out man over my friend's shoulder who could use some medical assistance, I'm sure. That's generally why people come here, right?"

The receptionist straightens in her chair, probably about to give some scathing retort when—

"Luffy?" a high-pitched voice says.

I turn at the sound of the familiar voice. Chopper's appearance always throws me off: I expect to find some little, doe-eyed kid whenever I hear him speak. _Not_ some freaking huge kiddo with heavyset shoulders that towers over me. For real, Chopper is probably as tall as Kidd. Maybe taller.

He's wearing a doctor's coat and a rounded blue hat with an 'X' on the front. Also, his nose is blue.

Yes, blue.

This is what I was talking about when I said I know people with unusual coloring. I don't know why Chopper's nose is blue—maybe he got stuck in a freezer and it caused permanent damage, maybe he got attacked by a serial sharpie-marker criminal—who knows. It's blue and that's that.

"Chopper!" Luffy greets his friend with a cheerful wave.

"Luffy, what's wrong?"

"Oh, this guy is sleeping."

I cut in so I can give him an actual explanation.

"He has a fever, which I think is because the stab wound he got yesterday is infected," I say quickly.

"Oh my gosh! Give him to me!"

So, Chopper takes Red from Luffy and runs off to give him some medical attention, leaving us to wait.

* * *

 **12:00 pm**

Well.

Here I am, waiting in the hospital. Luffy left a while ago.

Well, it's more like I kicked him out before he could destroy anything expensive. Like I've said, he's a wrecking ball on two legs. So, here I am in the waiting room. They've taken care of Red, but he's still unconscious. And apparently, they can't contact any of his friends or family because he doesn't have anything on him: wallet, phone, etc. I guess they're in his coat.

Which is at my café.

Obviously, I can't just leave the guy alone, so I have to wait until he wakes up.

 _Sigh_.

I shift in the chair so that my legs are over the arm rest.

There's some boring-looking magazines on the table next to me, some boring potted plants in each corner of the room, and boring art hung in boring frames on the walls. Your typical waiting room. I wonder when I can leave. This was supposed to be my lazy day.

 _Sigh_.

I'm now sitting with my legs propped up against the wall.

Well, technically, I am being lazy. It's just a boring kind of lazy. I should have brought my book. Those boring magazines are starting to look vaguely interesting.

 _Sigh_.

My legs are draped over the other armrest now.

I better get a favor out of Red for having to sit through this and wait for his ass. Sooooo boring! Maybe I can close my eyes for a second…

Yeah…..

* * *

 **?:? ?**

I'm beginning to wake up. There's some really loud voices…and what sounds like breaking glass. Maybe I should get up and see what's going on….?

Nah, I'm comfy like this.

Wait. My acute impending-danger senses are tingling.

My eyes snap open and I shoot up just in time to avoid a glass jar full of cotton balls that was going straight for my head.

' _HOLY BALLS THAT WAS CLOSE!'_

Who threw that? I look around and narrow my eyes at the culprit.

 _Red._

Chopper is kinda freaking out, trying to get the large, angry man to calm down from his apparent rampage. Red does not look happy to have woken up in a hospital.

Much like I don't like waking up to glass jars thrown at me.

"Chopper," I say, getting out of the chair I was sleeping in.

"Y-Yeah, May?"

"Could you be a dear and get Red a shirt or something."

"Y-Yeah. Be right back."

I stalk up to Red, who holds his ground, glaring at me.

"Why the fuck did you bring me here—"

 _Smack_.

"Shut up and calm down. You're here because you passed out and were running a fever, which I couldn't help you with," I lower the rolled-up magazine I hit him on the forehead with, "Now, do you have any family or friends you could call to come pick you up? I'd really like to go home."

"Tch."

"I'll take that as a yes."

I hand him my phone and he punches in a number.

 _Dialing…_

Someone picks up.

"Come and get me."

He really likes to cut to the chase, I've noticed.

"I'm at the fucking hospital."

There's a pause while the person on the other side says something.

"I'll tell you when you get here, just get your ass the fuck over here."

He hangs up.

"Well, aren't you a ray of sunshine."

"Shut the fuck up."

"Okay."

I take a seat again, carefully avoiding the shattered glass and look at the clock. Whoa, it's already four in the afternoon. I pick at my fingernails, ignoring Red, who hasn't moved. It's silent for about 30 seconds before he cracks.

"Oi, you can talk."  
"So, who did you call?" I ask conversationally, looking up at him.

"Someone," he glares.

"Oh, cool."

I go back to inspecting my nails since he doesn't seem to want to talk. We fall back into silence.

…

Red looks like he's going to explode. Before that happens, I speak up.

"Do you want to play a game?"

"What?"

"A game. Do you want to play one."

"Why the fuck would I?"

"Just wondering. It might help pass the time."

Silence…

"What game?" he growls in defeat.

I smile.

"Thumb war!"

"That's stupid."

I hold out my hand expectantly and wait in silence.

"…Fine."

He takes a seat next to me and takes my hand, our thumbs taking position.

"…Thanks for checking me in here, I guess. Or whatever," he mumbles before we begin.

I smile even wider, glad that he's not being hostile anymore. He's still extremely grumpy, but we can work on that.

"No problem," I attack his thumb and the game begins, "So, how old are you? I'm 21."

"23."

I lose very quickly and we start again.

"Have any hobbies?"

"I work on cars."

"Ooo, that's cool! So, you're a mechanic?"

"Tch."

I win this time!

"Well, I work at and own the café you saw. What's your favorite drink?"

"Why?"

"Just wondering. Mine's tea. I love it. I get withdrawal symptoms if I don't have some at least every 24 hours."

"How the fuck is that possible?"

I lose again.

"I dunno."

This continues on for a while. At some point, Chopper comes and gives Red a shirt with multi-colored dinosaurs on it.

I feel like we know each other pretty well by the time his friend comes to pick him up.

* * *

 **7:00 pm**

Ah~, home at last! I pat Chou Chou's head; he hasn't moved an inch from where I left him this morning, wrapped in the fluffy towel.

I was stuck at the hospital a little longer than I would have liked, because as I was leaving, I got sighted by Kureha, the crazy old witch, and she attacked me. I barely escaped with my life thanks to Chopper, and I'm not exaggerating. Then, as if it couldn't get any worse, some asshole proclaiming himself to be Wapol or something like that, was standing directly outside the hospital, yelling his head off about how he was taking over it as the new director. I couldn't get past him because he was this ginormous block of a man and wouldn't let me go by. I only managed to escape when Kureha came flying out of the hospital's front doors to kick his ass, make him shut up and go away.

I also had to pick up some dog food on my way home, so there's that.

Kidd's friend who picked him up was a little odd-looking, maybe. I can't really judge, seeing as I know some really… _unique_ people, for lack of a better word. I don't think I know anyone that wears a blue and white striped mask reminiscent of a chainsaw murder's though.

Oh well, to each their own.

Before he left, I told Red that he was welcome at the café anytime, as long as he doesn't break anything. I'm not really expecting him, though, he doesn't exactly strike me as the coffee-shop-goer type of guy. Oh well.

I think I might turn in early today, I'm exhausted after dealing with everything.

Is that Red's furry coat on my couch?

Whoops.

I guess I'll be seeing him soon after all.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! How are you liking the story so far? Good? Bad? Terrible? The most amazing thing you've ever read?...Just kidding, ignore that last one. But, I would like to know what you think! To answer some reviews (there seems to be some problems with viewing them; I'm trying to figure out what's wrong, but thank you for those of you who have left some comments!):**

 **Blue VanLocke- Yes, the Art of Throwing Phonebooks is a powerful and most coveted skill. Be sure to learn its ways carefully, for with great power, comes great responsibility.**

 **Jisca- Yeah, I'm not too much a fan of those stories, unless they're done** _ **exceptionally**_ **well. There is one that has unfortunately been discontinued, but it was hilarious! It's called Purple, by Montezumax, might want to check it out! As for more chapters, well, you will get your wish for 100 more; at this point, I plan to have** _ **at least**_ **265 chapters by the end of the year, with about 22 chapters each month, give or take a few. It's going to be a HUGE project, so I'm here for the long haul :)**

 **Awesome Guest- Thank you very much! This is a much different style than I usually write in and it's the first story I've written in present tense. I hope I can keep it up! And listen here, May's book-wielding skills are not to be taken lightly; they are a fearsome thing and cause for much awe. (Glad you like them, haha)**

 **Thanks for reading and stick around for more!**

 **-jj**


	5. Chapter 5: In Which There Is A Fuzzy Hat

**January 5/Tuesday/7:10 am**

Chou Chou is looking a lot better today. Now that he's eaten some food and had his fur cleaned, he looks less like the scruffy stray that Luffy brought in.

Speaking of…

The bell rings as the door opens.

It's not Luffy.

In walks a guy with an…interesting wardrobe: blue, spotted jeans, a fuzzy, spotted hat, and a yellow—and I mean _yellow_ —hoodie with a grinning logo of some kind on it. He doesn't look like he gets much sleep with those shadows under his eyes. Or maybe he just wears eyeliner. That's cool.

I want to pet his hat, it looks soft.

"Hi, there, sir!" I beam at him; I always greet people with a smile.

"Morning, miss."

"Please, call me May. What can I get you, Mister…?"

"Law. Trafalgar Law."

"…And Order. Du-dun!" I say under my breath.

"What?"  
"What?" I echo in a higher-pitched voice than usual.

He raises an eyebrow.

"Ah, ahaha, I mean, what can I get you?" I laugh nervously, silently cursing my stupid mouth for saying everything that comes to mind.

"I'll take a large coffee, black, to go."

"Coming right up! So, are you in a hurry to get somewhere?" I chat as I grab a cup and bustle over to the coffee machine behind me.

"I'm on my way to the Thousand Sunny Hospital, to start a new job."

"Oo, what would that be?" I pull a lid from the stack and place it firmly over the cup, making sure it's on securely.

"I'm a surgeon. I've transferred from another hospital out of town."

"Wow, that's so cool! You must be really smart."  
I hand him his coffee, but don't let go so I can lean over the counter towards him with a serious expression and lower my voice.

"Try to avoid the director, Kureha, as much as possible. She's a basket-case."

He nods, just as serious, but I can see the amusement in his eyes—he doesn't believe me.

His loss.

He walks out the door and not soon after, another person bursts into the café.

Guess who?

It's not Luffy.

It's Red.

"Oi, where's my coat?"

"Oh, hey, Red, good morning! I'm doing fine, thank you for asking. And you?"

I'm a strong believer in politeness. Well, to a certain point. I also expect others to be polite to me as well. Again, to a certain point. There's always exceptions.

"Where's my coat."

"I agree, the weather's been particularly cold this Winter, I think I might need to get another blanket for my bed. Or a space heater. Have you been keeping warm?"

"Give me my fucking coat."

"Oh, I'm so glad you noticed," I say, picking up Chou Chou off the counter and holding him out for Red to see, "This is Chou Chou, I'm thinking he's going to be the café's new mascot."

"Don't ignore me, damnit!"

"That's interesting! Do you know, I read an article that said people are more likely to respond reasonably when you're polite and actually greet them before making demands—"

"Shut the fuck up and give me my jacket before I—"

I shove a blueberry muffin I baked this morning into his mouth, making him stop talking.

"Yeah, yeah, since you asked ever so nicely," I sigh, slipping upstairs to grab the fluffy monstrosity.

Red's just recovering from choking on the muffin when I get back downstairs.

"You little—"

I throw his dumb coat in his face, muffling any words/insults/death threats he's preparing to say.

"Yeah, yeah, there's your coat, now unless you're going to be more polite, get out."

Kidd glares at me until he shrugs his coat on and walks out the door, a mumbled 'Thank you' reaching me as the door slams shut.

I think we're on our way to becoming good friends.

* * *

 **12:00 pm**

Sanji texted me this morning saying that Luffy had decided to bug him and mooch free food at the Baratie for the day, so I don't have to worry about making Luffy any meals. It was very thoughtful of him—Sanji knows I worry if Luffy doesn't show up at least once a day. I thanked him, but all I got as a reply was barely intelligible gibberish accompanied by many heart emojis. Classic Sanji.

The bell rings over the door and in walks one Mr. Trafalgar Law. And he looks very tired.

Told him. I _told_ him.

"So~, how is your first day going?" I ask.

He looks at me. It's the sort of look where you've just experienced something you can't believe and don't care to remember and it leaves you feeling—what? Incredulous? Astonished? A little dead inside? Something like a combination of those, just tripled.

"I thought you were kidding. I have never been more mistaken in my entire life."

I pat his shoulder across the counter sympathetically; it's a little difficult because he's so tall.

"Are you going back again today?"

He sits down at the counter stool and puts his face in his hands, nodding.

"How many cups of coffee do you need?"

"What?" He peeks at me between his fingers.

"I'll give you as many cups of coffee as you want for the price of one. To get you through the day. You'll need it."

"Really? In that case, six cups, May-ya."

"You got it."

I prepare two drink holders for him, but set another cup in front of him in the meantime. It's gone within seconds.

"I take it you're on break or something?" I ask the poor sucker.

"Yes, I have forty-five minutes."

"How about some lunch, too then? I have some extra beef stew if you'd like some."

"I'm very grateful."

"Think nothing of it," I wave my hand.

I go to the kitchen and put the leftover stew in a pot to warm up on the stove. I accidentally made too much soup last night because Luffy never showed up for dinner, so I have a ton left over. Several buckets full, in fact. I hear the bell jingle as the soup begins to steam and I poke my head out to see who's here.

"May! Hey, how are ya?" a loud voice calls.

Two men have walked into the café, one very tall with pepper-grey hair, and the other not-as-tall-but-still-quite-tall with bright red hair is the one who called out to me. I smile at them.

"Shanks! Benn! Hi guys! Can I get you anything?"

"How about some Irish coffee?" Shanks asks, leaning against the counter next to Mr. Law, who is currently downing the largest sized cups of coffee I have like shots of tequila.

"Shanks, it's only noon…."

"Yeah? And?"

"I'm not giving you any alcohol while the sun is up."

"Aw, c'mon May!" the red head whines.

"…What are you doing?"

"Making puppy eyes, is it working?"  
"That's supposed to be puppy eyes?" I hear Benn mumble under his breath.

"Sorry, it stops working after you turn thirty. Can I get you anything non-alcoholic?" I ask.

"Just some coffee," Benn says with a slight smile.

"Come on, May, just a little shot of whiskey?"

"No. Do you guys want lunch as well, I've got a pot of beef stew heating on the stove right now," I head back to the kitchen to check on the soup.

"You know what goes great with stew, May? Beer!"

"Go get wasted during the day somewhere else that's not my café, you drunkard," I call through the kitchen door.

"Spoilsport," he yells back.  
"Dipsomaniac."  
"Killjoy."  
"Alcoholic."

"Hey, no, I'm not an alcoholic!" Shanks cries indignantly, "Those people have problem with booze. I have no problem with it."

"Yes, you do, you just don't admit it."

"May you're so mean to me! Isn't she mean to me, kid?"

"I'm don't think I'm going to answer that," I hear Mr. Law respond.

I serve up three bowls of soup and come out to the front to see the Shanks has now wrapped an arm around a very uncomfortable-looking Law and is laughing.

"Shanks, don't bother my customers."

"Sure, sure," he waves me off and immediately goes for the stew.

The men eat lunch, Benn and Shanks fawn over Chou Chou, and Law goes off with his coffee and my deepest sympathies.

I then kick Shanks out, who's followed by Benn.

"Ah, wait, May! I forgot to mention!" Shanks says, his hands holding him in the doorway while my foot presses into his back, trying to get him to leave, "We're all meeting up at Makino's tonight, wanna come?"

Oh, I haven't seen Makino for a while. She's a sweet girl (actually, she's older than me, but that's irrelevant) and I feel like we're practically sisters. She owns the only bar on Red Line, called Party's Bar, and it's all of our friends' first go-to place to get together and have a few drinks. Or twenty.

The second place is my café, which is clearly not a bar, but that's never stopped them.

"Yeah, I would love to! I'll see you then."

I give a fair shove with my foot and Shanks goes sprawling out the door, laughing all the way.

"See you later, May," Benn nods as he walks out to pick Shanks up off the street, and the two are off.

* * *

 **6:30 pm**

Sanji's uncle, Zeff, the owner and head chef of Baratie, finally got fed up with Luffy apparently and kicked him out. So, predictably, Luffy has come to me for dinner. But, he can just wait since we're going to Party's. I wanted to leave ten minutes ago, but I turned my back on Luffy for one second and somehow, he got stuck between the fridge and freezer with Chou Chou sitting smugly in front of him while he spewed insults at the dog. The next nine minutes were spent pulling Luffy out (without breaking anything, which is an accomplishment in and of itself) and now I'm trying to keep Chou Chou safe while Luffy tries to punch him.

"Luffy," I sigh as I side-step another of his punches, aimed for the dog in my arms, "We're going to be late. Don't you want to see Shanks?"

"What!? Shanks is there tonight? What are we waiting for, let's go!"

And just like that, he goes from angry to excitedly happy in milliseconds flat, grabs my hand and is running out the door. Chou Chou is still in my arms.

We arrive at the bar, which is filled with happy people drinking themselves into a happy stupor. I'm not worried about greeting any of the patrons yet, instead calling out to the dark-haired woman with a bandana tied around her head behind the bar.

"Makino!"

She looks up from handing a drink to one of her customers and smiles happily.

"May! Glad you could make it!"

"I wouldn't miss a get-together here for the world!" I laugh, weaving my way between the tables towards the counter.

Before I reach it, someone grabs my hand and pulls me into a spine-cracking hug, making me drop Chou Chou.

"Good to see you, May!" the person crushing my rib cage laughs.

When I'm released, I see that it was _not_ in fact a grizzly bear that attacked me, but a smiling man with a short beard, a scar on his cheek, and the poofiest-ly styled hair you can imagine.

"Thatch!"

At the table he stood up from are Marco, Ace, and Izo, each with a drink in their hands. I kick Thatch squarely in the shin.

"YOW!"

I pay no attention to the man holding his leg in pain and quickly smack Ace and Marco upside the head.

"Ow!"  
"May?!"

"You guys all are gigantic assholes—except for you Izo—and I'm not talking to you until I get apologies," I glare at them, "Hi, Izo, nice to see you."

He can only nod in return, trying to hide his laughter behind his hand. I continue to the bar, leaving Chou Chou to bite Thatch's other leg. Makino comes out from behind it and gives me a hug.

"May, you really need to come see me more often!" she pouts, "I hardly get to see any of you girls. I'm surrounded by stupid drunk men nearly 24/7!"

"Sorry," I laugh, "We'll organize a girl's night sometime soon."

At this moment, the door bursts open, revealing four men: Shanks, Benn, and two more of their friends, Yasopp and Lucky Roo.

"Let's get this party started!" the red head leading them laughs loudly and the bar erupts in cheers.

"Speaking of stupid drunk men…" Makino sighs, walking back to the counter.

"You say that as if you're _not_ completely smitten with a certain stupid drunkard," I tease her.

"May, I'm going to need you to shut up. Right now," she says with a blank face, but I can see the slightest bit of red on her ears.

"Makino!" everyone's favorite red headed idiot calls as he approaches the bar, mismatched arms spread wide. "It's been too long, my darling. You look ravishing as always. Is that a new blouse? Bandana?"

"It's been since this morning, Shanks, and flattery won't get you any free drinks or discounts."

Shanks looks offended.

"Can't an honest man compliment a beautiful young lady without being suspected of an ulterior motive?"

"Yes, if the man is honest. No free drinks, no discounts."

"Ah well, a man can try," he sighs dramatically, his prosthetic hand over his heart.

"Shanks!"

The loud cry is all the warning anyone gets before Luffy barrels into the red head, latching onto him like a monkey.

"Luffy! Long time no see, kiddo!" Not at all fazed by the 19 year old that has leapt onto him, Shanks laughs and returns Luffy's hug.

"I'm not a kiddo, Shanks! I'm a man!"

"Sure thing, kiddo."

I ignore the two arguing as Makino puts a glass on the counter in front of me. I take a sip of the drink and smile. Makino always makes the best drinks.

"Thanks, Maki-chan!"

"Oh, stop, you guys promised you wouldn't use that nickname anymore!"

Shanks, turning away from Luffy, deciding that booze is more important than their banter, grins at the bartender.

"Makino! The usual please, and keep 'em coming!"

"You've got it."

She pulls out a large glass and heads over to the tap.

"See, May, this is why I love Makino more than you," he puts his prosthetic arm around my shoulder, still ignoring Luffy's attempts to get his attention, pushing the teen's face away and holding him at arm's length effortlessly, "She gives me alcohol without arguing."

"She runs a _bar_ , Shanks," I reply, "That's her job, not mine. But, I won't complain. Makino can live with your love more than I can."

I peek over at Makino, whom I had seen fumble with the beer glass after what Shanks said, and again just now. She puts the beer in front of Shanks with a solid _clink!_ and he takes his arm away from me to reach for the drink in delight, thanking Makino, whose ears are becoming more and more red. But, I can't pay attention to them anymore, because two pairs of arms wrap around me, one around my waist and one around my shoulders and two very heavy weights settle against me. I have to struggle not to be pushed face down into the counter.

"Maaaaay! We're sorry for what we did. Can you please forgive us?" Ace says, rubbing his face like some sort of overgrown dog against my head.

"Yeah, May, we feel regret clawing at our souls like fiery demons! Can you ever find it in your heart to spare us our torment?" Thatch elaborates with the utmost dramatization of anguish he can muster.

"And where's Marco, huh? I don't see him apologizing here," I huff.

The two ridiculous men let go and drag Marco over to me.

"C'mon, Marco, she won't forgive us unless we all do it," Ace tells him.

"Sorry, yoi."

"Oi, you can do better than that, pineapple head," Thatch smacks the back of his friend's head, "Or do you want to risk May's eternal wrath?"

Marco rolls his eyes.

"Please, oh graceful and beautiful May-sama, forgive us miserable creatures."

"A compliment thrown in, too! Nice! See, Thatch, this is why Marco's the smart one. He thinks of these kinds of things," Ace whispers loudly to him behind Marco's back, as if I can't hear him.

"Okay, you kiss-asses, I accept your apology," I concede, "But you each owe me a drink, and you have to promise never to speak about that stupid challenge again."

"Deal!"

My phone goes off in my pocket and I turn my attention to it. Zoro's calling.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Have you seen Luffy?" Zoro asks; he sounds very irritated, I can practically see his scowl over the phone, "Dumbass wanted us all to meet, but he hasn't shown up and he's not answering his phone."

"Oh, we're at Party's Bar right now. Shanks is here, so, you know Luffy…"

"Oi, guys," his voice is farther away, he's holding his phone away from his face as he talks to other people on his side of the line, "Dumbass is at Makino's."

" _What_?!"  
" _He forgot about us_?!"  
" _I'm gonna kick his ass_!"

I hear several people yelling on the other line.

"I take it you guys are coming here?" I ask, smiling; they all sound very lively tonight.

"Yeah, make sure he doesn't run away before we get our hands on him for leaving us behind."

"You got it. Don't get lost!"

"Hey, I never get los-!"

I hang up and put my phone back in my pocket.

* * *

 **January 6/Wednesday/12:00 am**

I'm on my way home from the bar. I would usually stay later, but it's the middle of the week and I have to work tomorrow. Hanging onto my shoulders are Ace and Luffy, both drunk off their asses. I'm taking them to my apartment since the one they share is further and I highly doubt they'd be able to find it in their inebriated states. So, they'll be crashing on my couch tonight or something.

It was a good night, especially once Luffy's close circle of friends arrived. They include Zoro, Sanji, Robin, Chopper, a girl named Nami, a boy named Usopp, a very tall man named Franky, and an even taller man named Brook. I love each of them to death even though they are extremely rambunctious (and often destructive) when they're all together.

"May! You're the best person in the worrrrld!" Ace sings drunkenly and I struggle to keep him and Luffy on their feet as they sway dangerously close to the street.

"The worrrrld!" Luffy echoes his brother.

"Makes me wish that I had won Pops challenge—"

Ace is flat on his back, his obscenely bright orange hat falling over his eyes, because I let go of him.

"Hey, where'd the lights go?"

"Haha, Ace, you must be really drunk if you can't stand!" Luffy laughs, even though he would most definitely be on the ground too if I weren't supporting him.

He sits up and pushes his hat out of his eyes.

"May, wait up!" he calls because I'm already walking away.

"I don't help rude idiots," I say harshly, "You can walk the rest of the way by yourself."

"Wait, May, I'm sorry!"

I hear footsteps and then a _thud_!

I look back.

 _Sonnuva—_ He's fallen asleep!

Sighing, I grab his arm and haul him and Luffy up to my apartment where I throw them carelessly on the couch.

My friends can be such pains in the asses.

But, I love them all.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! How is everyone doing today? Hope you're all well. Anyway, meeting more people in the story all the time!...(You don't need to know this, but Shanks is my all time favorite character. I may or may not have an obsession with him. It physically pains me that there aren't more stories including him.) Okay, rambling done.**

 **Awesome Guest- Thanks! Yes, Kidd does seem to lack basic social etiquette. Hopefully he'll warm up soon. After all, they always do...HAHAHA-**

 **Thanks for reading and stick around!**

 **-jj**


	6. Chapter 6: In Which It Snows

**January 6/Wednesday/7:00 am**

I woke up this morning to Luffy and Ace in my bed. Those jerks must've gotten up sometime in the three hours I was sleeping and crawled into my room half-awake. However they got there, when I woke up, Luffy was using my stomach as a pillow with his arms wrapped around my mid-section and I was suffocating slowly because Ace had somehow ended up sprawled half on top of me and god damn, he is one heavy son of a gun.

After kicking them mercilessly onto the floor (Luffy woke up when he fell off the bed but quickly went back to sleep while Ace remained snoring soundly like the idiot he is) I trudged downstairs to start my baking for the day and now I'm making them breakfast so they can eat and leave before I get any customers.

"Nnnn, May, my head hurts!" Luffy whines, coming down the stairs, probably 'cause he smells food.

"Maybe you should stop trying to drink then," I huff.

Luffy can absolutely not handle booze. Literally, one sip of beer and he's tipsy. He insists on drinking when everyone else does though, because it's 'manly.' Or some such stupidness.

He latches onto my leg as I crack some eggs into a bowl and stir them up, his usual chatter starting right away.

"May, what do you think you would get if you combined a crocodile with a banana?"

"Probably end up with a very diabolical and extremely irritated creature."

"Ah, that makes sense."

"Morning," Ace yawns widely as he tumbles down the stairs, "What's for breakfast?"

"Eggs benedict, hash browns, and corn beef."

"I love you, May," he says, completely serious as he passes by the kitchen to flop down on one of the café's sofas.

"You guys need to stay out of my bed when I don't know that you're in it," I say, loudly enough so that Ace can hear me in the other room. All I get is a sleepy, non-committal grunt in reply.

"But, May, it's Cuddle Up Day! We have to cuddle on Cuddle Up Day!" Luffy says, smiling up at me.

"Is it really?" I exclaim, "Must've slipped my mind! That changes everything, get on that sofa, we're having breakfast and cuddles right now."

Oh, right. I should probably explain. Me and my friends make a point of celebrating as many minor, obscure, and sometimes absurd holidays as we can, in addition to the major ones of course. And today just so happens to be Cuddle Up Day, a day dedicated to one of the best things on god's green earth: cuddling.

I bring over a tray piled high with food to Ace (Luffy still attached to my leg) and nudge him out of the way with my foot so I can sit down next to him with Luffy climbing up to sit on my other side. With me in the middle of the cuddle pile, we enjoy our breakfast.

"Pops says you haven't come to see him in a while and that you're hurting his feelings by avoiding him, May."

"I will go see him when I receive a hand-written and beautifully heartfelt apology in the form of a haiku with at least ten stanzas."

"May! Guess what I did yesterday? Sanji's oji-san made me work as a dishwasher, but I broke a lot of plates, so they kicked me out of the kitchen. Anyway, there was this really weird guy who showed up—he had these weird things on his knuckles and I think he was a police man—but he tried to beat up one of the waiters for giving him the wrong wine, so I kicked his ass, and then another weird guy was there—he wore a lot of diamonds and gold—and tried to beat up a lot of the workers at the restaurant, so I kicked his ass, too!"

"Oh, that's awesome, Luffy! Good job!...Did you just say you beat up a police officer?"

The phone on the counter rings and I have to wiggle my way out of the pile to get up and answer it.

"Hello?"

"May, are my grandsons at your café?!"

 _Bu-jeesus!_ I have to hold the phone away from my ear at the very loud voice coming out of the receiver.

Oh no. I just realized who is on the phone.

"No, not at all, so please, please don't come looking for them."

Luffy and Ace's grandfather, Monkey D. Garp, a psychotic old man who really should retire from his career in the police force, but has stubbornly refused to.

And there is a reason that Luffy and Ace try to avoid him as much as possible.

"Are you sure about that?" the old man asks suspiciously, "Because they're not at their apartment."

"Nope, not here, absolutely 100% absent from the vicinity, so you don't have to come here at all—"

"May! Who's calling you?"

I close my eyes at Luffy's loud voice. There was no way that Garp didn't hear that. The line goes dead and I put the phone back on its receiver.

We're screwed now.

"Garp is on his way."

Ace and Luffy are up and sprinting for the door the moment the words leave my mouth. But, with a loud laugh and an explosion of wood and glass, the door of my café bursts off its hinges to reveal a tall, old man with a ferocious grin on his face. All three of us scream and the brothers screech to a halt, trying to backpedal away from the door and run in the opposite direction. But it's too late.

"Bwahaha, so this is where you brats have been hiding!"

"Get away from us, you crazy old man!" Luffy yells.

Ace is the first victim; he gets thrown straight into the counter, leaving an indent the shape of his back in the wood. This is actually normal. Garp takes the term 'tough love' to the next level, and he often takes it upon himself to give his grandsons impromptu 'training sessions of love.' It's mostly his excuse to destroy stuff.

Luffy is next, and he sails through the café to crash land…straight into Quintin. He gets right back up, picking up Quintin and throwing the entire table at his grandfather.

Oh, _hell_ no.

Not Quintin.

A phonebook collides with Garp's face, knocking him out just long enough for Luffy and Ace to run out the door, yelling thanks over their shoulders. Their grandfather jumps up and is chasing after them in a heartbeat.

"Get back here you brats!"

Thank god, he's gone.

The counter now has an Ace-sized dent in it. A bit of broken glass that's still on the door window falls, tinkling to the ground in the otherwise silent café.

And Quintin, poor Quintin is broken in two.

I sniff, and pick up the phone, dialing a number.

"Nma, hello?"

"Quintin's dead!" I wail, tears falling like waterfalls from my eyes.

"It's okay, we're on our way! Paulie, get the car! It's Quintin!"

* * *

 **8:30 am**

There is a very well-known company in Grand Line situated in the Water 7 district that makes the finest ships in the world. They also happen to be very proficient at fixing tables. Specifically, one table. Specifically, Quintin.

It took fifteen minutes after my call for them to show up. During those fifteen minutes, Mr. Dracule and Mr. Law stopped by to get their coffee; the first walked in to find me crying over the shattered remains of Quintin, but didn't inquire about him or the hole in the counter or the shattered door. The second seemed too tired to notice any of these things and simply took his six cups of coffee and left with a nod of his fluffy-hatted head.

With a roaring of squealing brakes, a large white pickup truck with the words 'Galley-La Company' painted on the side comes to a screeching halt outside the café and two men rush in to find me once again mourning over Quintin.

"May, are you alright?!" the blond one yells.

"Paulie…Iceburg…," I sniff.

"Paulie," the blue-haired Iceburg snaps his fingers, "Load Quintin into the truck."

"Right!"

While Paulie does that, Iceburg comes over to me and crouches down, starting to rub my back soothingly.

"May, you know everything will be fine. We've brought back Quintin six hundred and twelve times already."

Yes, 612 times. That's how destructive my friends are.

"But, what if you can't this time?!"

"You'll just have to trust that we can. Come on, we have to go save Quintin, nma?"

 _Sniff._

"Okay."

Iceburg picks me up and gets us into the car, where Paulie was waiting. As soon as we're in, he revs the engine and we were flying down the streets to the company. Paulie pulls up to another screeching halt and jumps out, Iceburg not far behind with me still in his arms.

"Everyone stop what you're doing!" he bellows to all the workers, who immediately pause and look over at us, "Quintin needs help!"

Much scrambling, scurrying, and yelling ensues. Someone takes me from Iceburg in the middle of all the bustling and sets me on a stack of wood and someone else gives me a cup of tea to calm down while Iceburg, Paulie, and several other workers get Quintin out of the truck.

I sip my tea, watching the chaos around me.

"Someone get the nails!"  
"Where're those extra planks of wood?!"  
"Bring a hammer and a saw!"  
"OW, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, DUMBASS!"  
"WHY DON'T YOU?"  
"STOP YELLING!"  
"I'M NOT YELLING!"  
"YES, YOU ARE!"  
"I'M SORRY!"  
"SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU!"  
"I APOLOGIZE FOR YELLING!"  
"TILESTONE, SHUT UP!"

I'm very glad that I'm friends with the workers of Galley-La. I would have lost Quintin long ago if it weren't for them; in fact, I would have lost him the very first day that I opened my café, two years ago. Iceburg is the president of the company and he's an incredibly nice guy with a penchant for picking up lost animals. Franky is his brother and he works here, too.

Paulie is the vice-president. He has problems with gambling and women's clothes.

I take another sip of tea while everyone yells and runs about.

This is good tea.

* * *

 **10:30 am**

After much work, a lot of shouting, a few smashed fingers, and many cups of tea, Quintin has finally been revived. All of the workers cheer—a few of them are hugging each other and crying in joy. I myself am hugging Quintin. Well, as much as you can hug a table. It's more like I'm half-laying on top of him with my arms wrapped under his top.

"Thank you everyone!"

"You're welcome, May-san!"

"It's nothing!"

"We couldn't leave Quintin like that!"

I smile really widely.

"Treat you guys at my place?"

"WOOOO!"

Somehow, twenty workers manage to squeeze into the company truck and we drive back to the café, Quintin safely in the back. It started snowing and there is now a thick layer on the roads. It's actually very dark, too, it barely seems like it's still day time. Well, that's Winter in Grand Line City for you.

* * *

 **11:00 am**

We all pile out of the truck and head for the café—oh, I forgot that the door is smashed in. Quintin is brought in and placed carefully in his regular spot. I'm about to join them inside, but I hear yelling in the distance.

And it's getting closer.

I look down the street to see someone on a sled and some other figures sliding down Red Line rapidly. Straight towards me. Leading the group, his straw hat clutched to his head and a wild grin on his face, is my little baby, laughing his head off. Nami and Robin are sitting behind him on the sled and following him closely is Zoro on a snowboard, Sanji on skis, Usopp and Chopper on a trashcan lid, with Franky and Brook on a sled of their own.

"MAY!" Luffy yells, approaching very quickly; I start to panic, "IT'S A SNOW DAY!"

I scream as the group bears down on me, but I can't get away. As Zoro speeds by, he reaches out an arm and scoops me up, tossing me over his shoulder, laughing.

"How's it going, May?"

"Zoro, this is so not cool!" I scream at him, clinging to his shoulders for my life.

"HEY, BROS!" Franky yells to his dumbstruck Galley-La co-workers as he zooms past them.

"Oi, get back here, you bastards!" Paulie snaps out of his stupor, grabbing up a plank of wood from the back of the company truck and using it as a snowboard to chase us; several of the others follow suit, "May's treating us!"

"Zoro, how dare you sweep my sweet Lily flower off her feet before I could!" Sanji yells at my green-haired friend.

"Don't be so slow then, slowpoke curly-brow!"

"What?! I can beat you any day, marimo!"

"A race? Bring it on!" Luffy laughs.

"Be prepared for the Great and Mighty Usopp to kick all of your asses! I am unparalleled in my snow racing skills!"

"SUPERRRR!"

Somehow, this has turned into a giant race down the streets of Grand Line, with my friends riding anything that will slide on the snow—I'm pretty sure Peeply Lulu is balancing on an empty egg carton—and is one of them using his friend as a snowboard? Zoro has shifted me so that I am on his back piggy-back style so he can maneuver better and we all twist and dodge around objects in the streets, like cars, fire hydrants, and people.

I look down to see several black and white objects have joined us and are streaking along on the ground.

"Zoro, is it just my imagination, or are there penguins sliding with us?" I ask.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, those are penguins."

"May!"

I look over to see Ace pull up next to us on a snowboard of his own. He casually sends me a salute and a large smile as we race down the snow-covered streets surrounded by penguins.

"Some penguins got loose from the zoo and are all over the city! We're trying to round them all up!"

"Ace, how the _hell_ are you not wearing a shirt when it's snowing?!" I shriek at him.

He gives me a thumbs up and smiles with a little sparkle.

"Don't worry about it!"

"Of course I'm gonna worry, idiot! You're gonna catch a cold!"

He just laughs and speeds ahead, snatching the flightless birds off the ground and stuffing them under his arms. They squawk and wiggle around in protest, clearly upset by this orange-cowboy-hat-wearing man who's ruining their fun.

We all continue to slide in the snow, with more of the zoo employees joining to catch the penguins, and I have to laugh at the absurdity of it all.

Just another day in Grand Line City, I suppose.

* * *

 **5:30 pm**

After all the penguins were herded back to the zoo and my friends started a city-wide snowball fight—and I _mean_ city-wide—all of us came back to the café for hot cocoa, coffee, tea, and cookies. And, of course, to finish Cuddle Up Day. Every inch of the café is jam-packed with my friends sitting in chairs, on the sofas, the tables, some are even sitting on the floor, in one gigantic cuddle pile. I've brought out all the blankets and pillows I own, and some of the boys brought down the sofa, armchair, and even my mattress from upstairs for maximum coziness.

Everyone's chatting and laughing-I'm pretty sure Yasopp and Lucky Roo are playing poker with some Galley-La guys in the corner—Marco and Thatch are drawing on Ace's face and bare chest because he fell asleep—Robin is talking with Nami and Franky while petting Chou Chou in her lap with a small blush on her face—and Luffy's head is on my stomach while we listen to Usopp tell one of his incredible stories that are totally true, laughing occasionally. When he gets pulled away by his dad, Yasopp, to join the poker game, we're left alone for a bit.

"Is Quintin okay now, May?" Luffy asks.

"Yup," I smile down at him, "He's all bright, shiny, and new again."

"That's good," he returns my smile with an even brighter one; he and Ace have my favorite smiles in the whole wide world. They're the kind of smiles that you can't help but return.

"Hey, May, Luffy," Ace comes to sit down by us, having woken up.

I have to cover my mouth to keep from laughing; in the few minutes Ace fell asleep, Marco and Thatch managed to play connect the dots with his freckles, draw fake glasses, eyelashes, and a moustache on his face, and several phallic-like doodles on his chest. I want to see how long it takes him to notice, but unfortunately, Luffy is the bluntest person on the face of the planet.

"Ace, you have dicks drawn on you."

His brother blinks and looks down at himself.

Several seconds pass. He looks back up right as I snap a picture of him on my phone.

"WHAT?!"

The walls of the café tremble with Ace's shout. Everyone laughs as Ace chases down Marco and Thatch. I save the photo to my Blackmail folder and join in on the merriment.

Such a rowdy bunch.

I don't know what I'd do without 'em.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Well, we're moving right along and more and more people are being introduced! Quintin died, but fortunately, May has the people at Galley-La to fix him right back up. A little heads up: there will not be a chapter tomorrow, but don't worry, there'll be one on Friday. I'll skip a day every once in a while, so don't think too much of it. If I updated _every_ day, I'd probably die :D**

 **Jisca- Right!? Isn't it so good? It's such a shame it got discontinued :c**

 **Blue VanLocke- Ah, yes, post-timeskip ages will be used in this story, could've sworn I said his age in chapter 1. Oh well. (though, even if I did use Luffy's original age of 17, I doubt any of his friends would care about him being underaged for drinking, lol. As for Law, RIP in fckuing pieces lmao)**

 **Thanks for reading and stick around!**

 **-jj**


	7. Chapter 7: In Which I Read Poetry

**January 8/Friday/3:00 am**

I wake up at my usual time and walk down to the kitchen in my fluffy kitten slippers to get started on my baking for the day. Or at least, I intend to.

I flip the light on and stare at the scene before me, my just-woken brain taking a while to process what it sees. With horror dawning on my sleepy mind, I look down upon the person lying on the kitchen floor in front of the fridge, whose overly full stomach is rising and falling with his loud snores, completely oblivious to the world.

Luffy has pulled a midnight raid on my fridge. It is completely cleared out except for a can of spiced peaches.

 _Sonnuva_ —this is the second time in three weeks!

I haven't had any tea yet; I'm not prepared to deal with this mess. I take a deep breath and count to ten to try and calm down.

Nope, doesn't work.

" _LUFFY_!"

* * *

 **3:30 am**

After giving Luffy a thorough beating with one of my phonebooks, and making myself many, _many_ cups of tea I called up Nami. I do feel bad, but she's one of the only one of my friends who's a light sleeper who also has a car. Why do I need a car? Because now I have to go out and buy everything to fill my three fridges, four freezers, and pantry again. And that means a _big_ shopping trip with a lot of groceries.

At least I don't need to buy canned spiced peaches. Apparently, the only reason the can was left is because Luffy couldn't get it open.

I need to buy a lock for the fridge soon. Or something.

"I'm sorry for having you do this, Nami," I say to the orange-haired woman driving us to Buggy's. Thank god that place is open 24/7.

"Don't worry about it, May," she yawns, "I was going to have to get up soon anyway."

Nami is an amazing person. She has a hand in so many things all over the city, working part-time at the bank as a manager as well as down by the docks where she helps make maps and compasses, she even works with the city to create weather forecasts for air and sea travel, amongst other things. She's also nice enough to take time out of her busy schedule to help me with my finance reports at the beginning of each month. Well, maybe it's not so much from the goodness of her heart that she does it, it's more like I make her as many free drinks as she wants in return. But hey, I'm not complaining. Accounting work is boring as hell and I'm terrible at it.

"Mm mfowwy, Fmay!"

We both ignore Luffy, who's tied up and gagged in the backseat of the car. What? It's not like I could just leave him alone in my café. That's a disaster waiting to happen.

"You have to go to work this early?" I ask.

"Ugh, Arlong's being a total prick about the forecast reports. He says I did the numbers wrong, so I have to go in early today and 'fix' them. He's just mad that I got an end of year bonus and he didn't," she says the last words smugly.

"Oh, yeah, what's the weather like today? I forgot yesterday was the last day of Winter."

"Back to the usual craziness," Nami nods her head, "Morning is going to have snow from last night on the ground still, it's going to hail sometime around nine, noon is sunny, three o'clock we've got some hot dry winds, but tonight it's going to dip down below freezing."

"Mmph, hm hmmph mmf!"

"Well, that's Grand Line for you."

"Yup."

* * *

 **7:00 am**

After our quick grocery run (well, it would've been quicker if Nami didn't try and haggle with the night shift worker, Mohji) and hauling all of the groceries into the café, making the first cup of coffee of the day for Nami and sending her on her way, I finally got to baking. I can't help but feel like I forgot something in her car though…

Oh well, she'll get it back to me if I did.

A little behind schedule, I'm just pulling today's muffins out of the oven when I hear the bell by the counter ring.

"Be with you in a mo!" I yell through the window that looks into the front of house from the kitchen.

I quickly place the muffins on a cooling rack and race out to greet my first customer of the day. It's Mr. Dracule; seems like he could be my new regular. I might have to do something to celebrate! Even if he is anti-social.

"Hello!" I say cheerfully, already pulling a coffee cup out and filling it up, "How are you today, Mr. Dracule?"

"Fine."

He pays and takes his cup, heading to his usual table with a newspaper in hand, stepping over all the holes that litter the floor. Oh right, the holes are there because of Ace. He was really mad with Marco and Thatch when they drew on him and they got into a 'little' fight. The long and short of it is, there're now several holes in the floor where they punched through the solid ground, and another Ace-sized dent in the counter, right next to the one from Garp's visit. That reminds me, I need to get those all patched up soon. And the door fixed. It's currently swaying sadly on its hinges from my feeble attempt to reattach it.

Huh, Luffy and Ace haven't burst through the door yet, yelling for breakfast, I wonder where they are…

Oh. Crap.

"I FORGOT LUFFY IN THE BACKSEAT!"

* * *

 **12:00 pm**

I was unusually busy this morning. I got a flood of customers around nine o'clock, and they're only starting to die down now. Is my coffee finally becoming known as the best in Grand Line and drawing in people? I blush and hold my cheeks after passing a cup of coffee to a customer whose name I learned is Clahadore.

Of course! It must be that! My coffee is the best so naturally I would get a lot of customers, the fact that it's been raining hail the size of baseballs and forcing people on the streets to find shelter since nine couldn't possibly be the reason people are coming to my café.

I snap out of my thoughts and look up as the bell rings, the door closing behind Mr. Clahadore. Just like Nami said, it's sunny outside now.

I texted her in a panic this morning once I realized that we had left Luffy strung up in the backseat of her car. She responded saying that she had forgotten too, and apparently, he fell asleep until he woke up yelling when she pulled up to work, scaring the living daylights out of her. She's keeping an eye on him for today, though. At least, until she kicks him out.

Right now, I don't have any customers, so I have my Sudoku book out. I hardly notice the door open, and I only look up from my puzzle when a pink flower petal falls on it.

A red carpet rolls through the door to come to a rest at the counter, and cherry blossom petals are floating through the air, scattering around the café. With a great procession of flying ribbons, Japanese string and wind instruments, and many delicate umbrellas, Izo comes dancing into the room, holding a fan in each hand and dressed in traditional Geisha clothing.

"May~, I have~ a message~ from Oyaji~," he sings, his words accented by his dance and accompanied by the musicians. A couple of men standing on ladders are gently shaking flower petals out of large baskets to be caught on fans that are set up behind them and carry the blossoms over the café.

Haruta steps up to the counter and presents a beautifully wrapped scroll. I take it and open it delicately as he steps away, bowing.

 _My dearest daughter  
I'm sorry for the challenge  
I apologize_

 _Writing haikus sucks  
You're not getting ten stanzas  
Just forgive me, brat_

 _Sincerely,  
Your kind and loving father_

A scribble of a name that I know is Pops signature nearly covers half the page. I flip the scroll over and see a lot of other little messages, many of them scrawled in messy handwriting, saying things like 'Sorry, May-san' and 'Please forgive us!' with signatures next to them from each person who participated in the challenge. I look up to see that all of the men are watching me on bated breath to see my reaction. Ah, dangit, and some of them are giving me puppy eyes, especially Haruta. Well, there's no way I _can't_ forgive them now.

"This is the worst poetry I've ever seen," I announce; a wave of depression rolls through the guys; I smile, "Apology accepted."

A loud cheer goes up from all of the men.

"Does this mean you'll come see us now, May?"

"Yeah, Ace said that you won't come see us until we said sorry!"

"And Pops has been really sad that he hasn't seen you in a few days!"

I glance back down at the terrible, terrible poetry and Oyaji's large signature, my smile growing.

"Well, I wouldn't want to keep the old man waiting, now would I? Tell him his haikus suck and I'll be over tonight after I close. You all better be there, too, you hear?"

Another round of cheers go up.

"It's a party, then!"

It's not like this should be a grand event, me coming to visit them. But, with the Whitebeard family, any excuse to have an extravagant party is never ignored. Haruta comes and gives me a big squeeze, as do some others, before they pick up and leave, probably to get ready for the party.

* * *

 **6:00 pm**

' _Hey, Luffy, are you still with Nami? You're being good right, you're not bugging her?'_

I send the text to Luffy as I close up the café and prepare a food bowl for Chou Chou. I need to get ready to leave, but if Luffy's coming to me for dinner, I'll have to stick around a bit longer. My phone buzzes with a text as I change my shirt and slip my cardigan back on, fixing my hair.

' _Yeah, Nami's treating me to dinner cos I accidentally put her boss Arlong-Guy Pointy-Nose Whatshisface in the hospital :D'_

Well, that'll be a story to hear.

' _Okay, have fun. I'm going over to Ace's Oyaji's place'_

I hear some crashing downstairs as I slip my phone and keys into my pockets (purses never appealed to me much) and go to investigate. My foot barely leaves the bottom step before someone crashes into me and lifts me up. Before I know what's happening, I'm out the door and being thrown into a car.

"Vista!"

"Hello, May-san!"

"May, glad you could join us."

"Rakuyo?!"

I look back and forth between the man who just pulled me out of the café and the one driving the car. Vista grins at me from the passenger seat.

"Oyaji said you were taking too long, so he sent us to get you."

"It's only 6:15!"

"Well, you'll be getting there even faster now."

"Oh, okay, that's fine then. How are you two?"

"Pretty good."

"Same as usual. Crazy weather today, huh?"

"Yeah, super crazy. But, that's Grand Line for you."

"Yup."

Rakuyo pulls up to a stop outside of an enormous mansion with architecture reminiscent of a whale. Oyaji has a minor obsession with the marine animals; I'm pretty sure if there were a fish tank big enough, he would keep some in his backyard. The two men hold the double doors open for me and I step into the mansion to find a party already in full swing.

"They started without us!" Vista says.

"Stupid brats better have saved some booze!" Rakuyo huffs.

I laugh and walk past them, intent on finding Whitebeard among the wildly dancing, and already-quite-tipsy people. Some of them have put chopsticks in their noses with the other ends in their bottom lips, giving them ridiculous expressions as they dance and laugh. It's not hard to locate the large man; he's sitting on his giant, throne-like chair in the main room with many of the live-in nurses around him trying to get him to slow down on drinking.

"Pop!" I call after watching the poor nurses try and fail to keep yet another drink out of the old man's hands.

His eyes lock onto me and a wide smile lights up his face.

"May, my most precious daughter! Come give your old man a hug!"

I beam and step closer, allowing him to wrap me in a suffocating embrace.

"Long time no see, Oyaji."

"I should say! Seven days with no visits or even phone calls. When did my children become so cold to me?"

"That's your fault," I pout, crossing my arms, "I'm still a bit mad about your stupid challenge."

"I've already apologized, what more do you want?"

"I know, I know," I sigh but I can't help the grin that takes over my frown, "You are a terrible poet by the way, please never write again."

"Gurarara!" he lets out his signature booming laugh and raises his glass, "Well, you're here now, so this party can finally start. Drink up, brats, and enjoy yourselves!"

The mansion is filled with cheers and the current party becomes even more energetic and wild. I smile and go to find a drink to join the rest of the drunk idiots.

* * *

 **10:35 pm**

I'm on my way to refill my cup when I hear someone pounding on the front door. I lean down to dodge a kicked ball from an impromptu game that's started up in the hall way and carefully keep my nearly empty cup balanced as I avoid a laughing person flying down the stairs, having been thrown by some other laughing people at the top. Since no one seems to notice the knocking, I guess I'll answer it.

"Hello-?"

Someone next to me slams the door shut before I can greet the policemen standing on the doorstep. It turns out to be Marco, and I look at him in surprise and confusion, wondering why he did that.

"POLICE!" Marco yells.

Immediately, everyone starts running for the back door, trying to get to the exit. Some forgo the door and jump straight out the windows.

"Didn't you hide the evidence?!"  
"Is this about the bootlegging?!"  
"Did they follow you here from your job?! You know we're always supposed to shake 'em before coming here!"  
"Shit, did they find the bodies in the garden?!"  
 _"Ace, what did you do this time?!"_  
 _"YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING!"_

I stand, stunned, in the hallway with Marco, as the entire mansion is cleared out in seconds. I turn back to him.

"I don't want to know."

"No, you probably don't, yoi," he agrees.

"May, you should probably go home. I'll take care of this," Cherie says, coming up to us; she's the head nurse of Whitebeard's caregivers and a gorgeous blond woman although she often complains that dealing with Oyaji has put more than a few grey hairs on her head.

"Really? Are you going to be okay?" I ask, concern wrinkling my brow.

"Don't worry," she giggles softly, "I've done this more times than I care to remember."

With that, she unzips the front of her pink uniform to show more cleavage than should be considered decent and opens the door. As Marco and I slip out of the hallway, we hear the beginning of their conversation.

"Excuse me, ma'am, but we've had some noise complaints. What is going on here?"

"Ah, please excuse me, officers," Cherie's voice is like honey, "The owner was watching his sports game and had to have the volume up very loud. Such a shame that growing old makes you lose your hearing."

"O-Oh, is that so?"

"Yes, we're very sorry that it caused such an inconvenience. Maybe I can…make it up to you?"

I can almost see the steam coming off the policemen's red faces as they stutter over each other to reply.

"Need a ride home, yoi?" Marco offers, strolling casually through the halls with his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks," I poke my head into the main room and wave goodbye to Whitebeard on our way out.

 _'Hm, where did I leave my cardigan? Oh, how'd it get there?'_

I grab my sweater that's hanging from the stair banister and Marco holds the door leading to Oyaji's enormous garage open for me.

"Oh, hey, do you mind if we make a quick stop at the store?" I ask; I almost forgot that today is a very special day. Fortunately, there's still time.

"Sure, yoi," he unlocks his blue 1955 T-Bird and slips into the driver's seat, "What d'you need?"

I grin widely.

"It's Bubble Bath Day. Gotta pick some up."

* * *

 **11:30 pm**

' _Ahhhhh, what a perfect end to the day.'_

After going to the store (where Marco also bought some bubble bath for himself) and being dropped off at my apartment, and after giving some orange-scented bubble bath to Nami as thanks for this morning when she and Luffy dropped by for dessert after their dinner, I finally got to go upstairs and fill my bathtub with lovely, floral-scented bubbles. I grab the book from Robin's shop that I'm still reading and settle down into the warm, soapy water. It feels wonderful, I could fall asleep like this.

I'm so wrapped up in my book and enjoying my bath that I almost don't hear the bathroom door squeak open a fraction of an inch.

Keyword: Almost.

Without any warning, I hurl my book so hard at the door that it smashes right through the wood, straight into Sanji's face, who falls into the people behind him—Usopp, Luffy, and Ace at the back—and causes a domino effect.

"Ah, we were caught!"

"Ow, my face! But it was worth it!"

"Yes, Sanji, your pain was worth it."

"Thank you for your sacrifice."

I turn completely red in embarrassment and anger from my head to my toes.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY APARTMENT, YOU PEEPING-TOM PERVERTS!"

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Told you I'd be back today. Happy Bubble Bath Day! We didn't get to meet too many new people this chapter, but don't worry, we're going to see a lot of characters over the next two days.**

 **Jisca- Who let the penguins out?...Don't worry about it...(It was totally Ac-DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT)**

 **Thanks so much for reading, stick around for more!**

 **-jj**


	8. Chapter 8: In Which There Is Lightning

**January 9/Saturday/7:15 am**

"…Anyway, so then, when we got back from lunch, Nami found out that someone erased all of the data she organized. She told me it was definitely her boss-pointy-nose-guy that did it, but she couldn't do anything about it 'cause he's the boss and she didn't have proof. Well, she had all the stuff backed up, so it wasn't hard for her to pick up where she left off, but then he came back to her office and started making fun of her. So, I broke his nose and knocked out all of his teeth. And that's why he's in the hospital. Anyway, May, do you think that if someone was an octopus person, would they have eight arms or eight legs?"

I listen absentmindedly to Luffy (who's decided to wrap his arms around my left leg today) retelling how he beat up Nami's boss, Arlong, as I make him and his brother breakfast. Ace is sleeping on the sofa out in the café; he's snoring loudly.

"Well, maybe they'd have six legs and two arms, or two legs and six arms."

"Oh, I didn't think of that! An octopus-person with six legs must be a fast runner. And an octopus-person with six arms, I bet they'd be a great cook because then they'd be able to make a lot of things at once! Like takoyaki! Oo, May, can we have takoyaki today?"

"Maybe later for lunch or dinner."

"Yay!"

"Ace, food's ready!" I call.

I hear him wake up with a snort.

"Huh—what?! I'm up, I'm up!"

Since I'm not that hungry, I grab my cup of tea and finish setting up the display case, give the floor a quick sweeping (there's still some cherry blossoms scattered about), and pour some food for Chou Chou into his bowl while Luffy and Ace eat.

"May, is there anything happening today?" Ace asks with a mouthful of food.

"Hm, let me think: no birthday's today, I don't think I have any plans, no major holidays…Oh but it is Play God Day."

"Play god?" Luffy laughs, "Who wants to be a dumb old god when you can play pirate! Even better, Pirate King!"

"No, no, that's not—uh, no. Apparently, it's supposed to be a day where you go out of your way to be helpful and caring to others. I dunno, like a god would."

"But, what if I want to be the kind of god that rains down lighting and fire on everyone?" Ace asks with a grin and suddenly pounces on Luffy, tackling him from the chair, "Death from above!"

Luffy laughs and tries to throw his brother off him, rolling them dangerously close to Quintin as they wrestle.

"IF YOU TWO BREAK QUINTIN, I'M CALLING GARP ON YOUR ASSES!"

* * *

 **8:00 am**

"…And then, Zoro got pulled into a gay bar by this okama who was trying to kiss him."

Ace has left for work, but Luffy is sticking around. It's nice, because the café can get lonely sometimes. I listen to him tell me more about what he did last night as I fill out Sudoku puzzles and he spins around on one of the counter stools. Mr. Dracule is at his table, reading his newspaper with his coffee. And he bought slice of pumpkin bread today, that's progress!

"He probably wasn't too happy about that," I hum.

"No, he was really mad, but that mister was strong and he couldn't get away, shishishi!"

"E-Excuse me."

I look up from my puzzle book to see a head of pink hair barely peeking over the counter. Wow, this kid is puny.

"Hello, can I help you?" I ask with a friendly smile.

"Um, you know that your door is broken…and there's several holes in this counter…and the floor?"

He points behind him to the café's door that looks ready to fall, with its missing glass and splintered wood. I give the kid a blank stare.

"…Don't worry about it. So, what can I get you?"

"Y-Yeah, um can I get a," he squints down at some writing on his hand, "Large, non-fat, chai tea latte extra dry with a dash and no more than a dash of cinnamon on top?"

I blink, but quickly recover my smile and start putting the drink together.

"Sure thing, but I made need you to repeat that a few times," I joke.

"What kind of drink is it if it takes more than three words to order it?" Luffy asks, his tongue sticking out in distaste.

"I-It's not for me, I'm just a valet."

"Hey, don't be rude, Lu," I swat the teen's head, "Some people are just very specific with their orders. Here you go."

I hand off the drink to the pink-haired kid and wave him away, he smiles shyly and waves back before he carefully opens the door and leaves.

"Oh, shoot, I forgot to ask him his name!"

Luffy pushes the counter with his foot so that he can spin before he returns to his story.

"Anyway, so we just decided to follow him into the bar. Me and Nami got a lot of free drinks! I wonder why…? They were really yummy, too."

My reply is cut off as the door slams open, falling to the ground and a large figure stands shadowed in the doorway.

"Who is it that made this drink?" a loud screech resonates through the café.

The person comes in and I see that it is a very, very large woman with exaggerated makeup caked onto her face. Both Luffy and I stare at her in confusion, until I see a head of pink pop out from behind her.

"P-Please excuse me," the poor kid cries miserably.

"Oh, ehm, I guess I'm probably who you're looking for," I speak up, customer-handling-smile in place, "Is there a problem with it?"

"A _problem_?!" Ouch, her voice hurts my ears, "I asked for a dash of cinnamon! Not this pitiful sprinkle of dust in my drink!"

She shoves her drink under my nose so I can see the 'pitiful sprinkle' of cinnamon on her tea.

"I do apologi-,"

"Do you know who I am?! I'm the Great Alvida, the most beautiful woman in all of Grand Line! A goddess amongst you disgusting people, I can have your pathetic café destroyed—!"

Whatever she's saying, she doesn't get to finish. Luffy settles back down on his stool from punching the woman, Alvida, in the face so hard that she has flown out the café door while her valet watches in stunned horror.

"Bleh, who was that woman? She's annoying."

"Whew, thanks Luffy, I was almost going to get a phonebook."

" _Alvida-sama?!_

* * *

 **9:00 am**

"…And after we left the restaurant because the curly-haired musician-guy's saxophone exploded, we ran into Usopp who was running from this creepy glasses-guy."

Luffy tries to tempt Chou Chou into playing fetch with a rubber ball he pulled from somewhere as he continues with his story, but the little white dog turns his head away with a disdainful sniff. I'm restocking the display when I hear the bell ring.

"Hello! Welcome!"

"Tch, what kind of ratty place is this? I came because I heard there was good coffee, but this rundown hole looks like it's about to fall apart."

In walks a boy dressed in a sharp, expensive-looking suit whose hair looks like an onion.

"Sorry about the appearance, I have to get it fixed up, but the coffee really is good," I tell him with a forced polite smile.

"And you even let wild animals run around in here," he looks down his nose at Luffy and Chou Chou who are quietly fighting with each other.

Oh boy, this is going to be one of those days, isn't it? Whenever I get bad customers, there always seems to be more that follow.

"Well, Chou Chou isn't wild, he's already house-broken, so please don't worry about him," I say, a small tick making its way onto my forehead; I keep smiling though, "Is there anything I can get you?"

"Hmph, I should have this hole closed down, just for being an eyesore—OW!"

Chou Chou has decided to sink his teeth into this onion-looking kid's leg.

"Hey! How dare you, you stupid mutt? I thought you said he was trained?! Do you know who I am?! I'm Helmeppo, son of Captain Morgan! He can arrest you for attacking me-!"

For the second time today, a customer goes flying through the door. Luffy dusts off he shoulder, holding Chou Chou by the scruff of the neck where he grabbed him before he went sailing through the door attached to the kid's leg.

"Who was that guy? He's annoying."

* * *

 **11:00 am**

"…But, some police-guy saw me beat him, so then he thought we were the bad guys. The police-guy was weird. I thought he was an old man because his hair was white, but then he said he wasn't that old?"

Luffy's back from the errand I sent him on to buy octopus. While he was gone, Mr. Law came in, still not noticing the destroyed state of the café as he took his coffee. Now, my little papoose is playing with the rubber ball himself, trying to see how long he can keep it in the air by kicking it.

"Anyway, he tried to catch us—"

He's interrupted by the door crashing to the ground, yet again, as an imposing man steps into the café.

"Are you the ones who punched my son?" he growls.

The onion-boy pokes his head around the tall, grumpy man and points at Luffy.

"Yeah, right there! He's the one!"

' _Well, crap, Luffy attacked a police officer's son.'_

"Hmph. I don't care if my son gets hurt, but if you hit him, perhaps you have intentions of targeting me. Are you trying to cause political upheaval? I'm a powerful and influential man, I can easily arrest the both of you—GAH!"

The third person goes flying out of the café, quickly followed by his onion-son.

"Ugh, May, who are all these annoying people and why are there so many of them today?"

"I dunno, Luffy, but you might want to leave. He was a police officer."

* * *

 **1:00 pm**

"…We ran into a bathhouse to escape the police-guy, but then we had the security chasing us, too, so we jumped out the second-story window, but then found out that we lost Zoro, so we had to go back and find him. And then, we came to your café."

After some more police officers came to collect the unconscious officer and son, where I tearfully told them how they came in and another unknown customer of mine went crazy and beat them up for unknown reasons while I was left helpless to watch, discreetly leaving out the fact that I know Luffy quite well and that he would probably be back soon, Luffy arrived for lunch with Ace in tow. We eat while Luffy finishes up telling the adventure he had last night.

My phone buzzes and I see Nami's texted me.

 _'Hey, just a heads up, severe lightning storms in a couple of minutes, probably going to cause some blackouts. Expected to last until 6:00'_

"Ace, can you grab some flashlights and candles from upstairs, Nami says there's going to be a storm soon."

"Yeah, want me to get anything else?"

Before I can reply, the door crashes open and Zoro, Sanji, Robin, Usopp, and Chopper tumble into the café.

"There's some crazy person chasing us!" Usopp screams.

"Damn punk hit Robin-chan! I'll kick his ass!" Sanji yells, having to be held back by Zoro, who looks severely roughed up.

"Yahaha, you think you can escape God's wrath?" a tall man wearing very fine clothes kicks aside what's remaining of my poor door as he enters, "Do you know why I'm God? I've been struck by lightning seven times and lived, meaning I'm immortal! You weak humans are nothing compared to me-!"

"Luffy, do you want me to do it or do you?" Ace asks his brother.

"I've got this."

With a forceful punch, the lunatic goes flying out the doorway; Luffy hit him so hard, he lands in the middle of the street, where he's immediately struck by lightning.

The power goes out and I sigh.

"Someone go check if he's alive."

* * *

 **4:00 pm**

"And then I heard and quiet, raspy voice…'My head hurts, my head hurts!' I turned around and there was a woman dressed in a bloody white dressing gown…and her head was gone!"

"GYAHHHH!"

Since there's a power outage, my friends have decided to stay until the storm passes. We're huddled around my space heater with candles and flashlights, enjoying some cocoa and ghost-stories. Usopp has so far been the best story-teller. He has a light pointed under his chin for dramatic lighting, making Chopper cower under the blanket.

"Oh, May-chan, if you're scared, I wouldn't mind holding your hand," Sanji says; I pinch his outstretched hand and twist the skin.

"I'm good, thanks."

Ace swats away Sanji's hand that's reaching in front of him and I wiggle around to readjust my position leaning against Ace with Luffy's head on my stomach, his torso half-way lying across my lap.

"A cold, bony hand clenched my shoulder and she leaned in, asking 'Where's my head?' Thinking fast, I told her that it was at the bottom of the ocean. When she disappeared, I ran for it! And that's why I'm known as Usopp, the Outsmarter of Ghosts and Demons!" Usopp proclaims dramatically.

We clap appreciatively as he passes the flashlight to Robin, who holds it up with a solemn look on her face.

"It is said that on days where the clouds cover the sky to look like night, and lightning crashes mercilessly through the heavens, a ghost will appear on Red Line."

While Robin tells her story, I pull out my phone and go through my Blackmail folder. What? I still haven't gotten even with the boys who spied on me in the bath. I find a picture of the time I caught Sanji going through Nami's panty drawer and send a text to Nami.

' _Have you been missing any undergarments recently?'_

' _Now that you mention, I think so, but I thought I left them in the wash…Why?'_

I send her the picture and move on to the next victim: Usopp.

' _Hey, Yasopp, did your son tell you the news?'_

' _What news? What are you talking about?'_

I send him a picture that I caught of him and his 'friend', Kaya, at New Year's, kissing in a coat closet.

' _WHAT?! MY LITTLE BOY, ALL GROWN UP AND KISSING GIRLS! I NEED TO MEET HER, WHY DIDN'T HE TELL ME ABOUT HER SOONER?'_

Next up is Ace.

' _Marco, did Ace ever tell you that he lost a bet with Izo one time and had to play dress-up doll for a day?'_

' _Pictures. Now.'_

I smile; Marco knows me so well. I send him the picture, which I'm sure will be shown and passed around to all of the zoo employees and then some by the end of the day.

Now, all that's left is Luffy. I'll have to wait for tomorrow though, because I don't have any blackmail photos of Luffy. Don't get me wrong, the kid's done plenty of embarrassing shit, it's just that he has no shame whatsoever. The amounts of shame he has are in the negatives. So, blackmail doesn't really work on him.

But, he'll get what's coming to him soon enough.

"And because this man was treated so poorly by his friends, he swore revenge on them, from beyond the grave. He comes to haunt Red Line every stormy day, to torture groups of friends, because he's reminded of his own backstabbing companions."

The door slams open as a bolt of lightning lights up the room followed quickly followed by a crash of thunder and we all scream bloody murder at the shadowy figure in the door.

"It's him! The ghost! He's here to kill us!" Chopper shrieks.

"Sanji, how dare you steal my panties!"

Nami stomps into the room, her expression furious and promising multiple degrees of murder.

"AN ANGRY NAMI, IT'S EVEN WORSE!"

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Ahhhh, sorry this is a bit late, I usually try to post around the same time each day, but I couldn't today =~= Anywho, moving right along with the story! May's Blackmail pictures make their debut...Wahahaha!**

 **Guest who commented on Chapter 3 and caught the reference- *puts on sunglasses and does the finger-snappy-gun thing* You're cool B)**

 **Blue VanLocke- Is it? Haha, I've never actually watched Gintama but I've heard it's a riot. (Also, yes, English sucks) And no, it wasn't Franky, just Sanji, Usopp, Luffy, and Ace.**

 **mun3litKnight- Ahhhhhghhghgh, thank you so much! This is my first time posting an OC story, and I'm trying to bring May to life as much as possible (also, Lily is technically her last name and May is her first). And yes, when it comes to Quintin, it is very important!**

 **Jisca- Ooo, nice! (I actually sorta designed a tattoo based off of Marco and his symbol once. Don't wanna toot my horn or anything, but it's pretty hecking cool)**

 **Thanks for reading everyone, and stick around!**

 **-jj**


	9. Chapter 9: In Which I Bake A Cake

**January 10/Sunday/11:49 pm**

Today has been a very strange day. I lock up the café's newly fixed front door, pat Chou Chou's head as I pass him and he follows me upstairs, hops onto the bed and curls up. Chou Chou has become a sort of silent protector of the café. He'll sit on the counter all day and watch people come and go. Sometimes, I think he's dead, but then his ear will twitch or something so I know he's alive.

Anyway. Today. It's been strange.

* * *

 **7:00 am**

' _Franky, can I pull a favor? The café needs some patching up'_

' _Sure thing, May. Superrrrr!'_

I put down my phone from reading Franky's text as Luffy crashes through the door, calling for food like usual, and walk to the kitchen to get breakfast ready. Luffy follows and latches onto my legs, his storm of chatter starting up. I don't make any comments as I listen, just an occasional nod or hum.

"May, you're being really quiet," Luffy says as he shovels down his food, "Is something wrong—?"

As Luffy takes his last bite, I knock him out with a phonebook and quickly tie his hands and feet. Then, I grab up the telephone and dial his grandfather.

"Hello, Garp, Luffy is at my café and he told me he really wants to see you."

"Bwahaha, is that so? In that case, I'll be right there!"

Hardly seconds pass before I hear ominous thudding footsteps getting closer before the door bursts in. Luffy wakes up with a start, trying to wiggle around until he realizes his hands and feet are bound. When he sees his grandfather though, he shrieks and starts trying to bite through the rope.

"You're coming with me!" Garp says, grabbing the back of Luffy's collar and dragging him out the door.

"May, help me!" the poor kid pleads; I almost break right there and stop Garp from leaving, but I can't.

"Sorry, Luffy," I say, "Don't peek on me when I'm in the bath."

"I'm sorry, May, I'll never do it again!"

"I'll pray for your survival," I say, clapping my hands together in prayer.

" _May?!_ "

* * *

 **8:00 am**

Someone clears their throat and I look up from my Sudoku puzzle with a smile, expecting Mr. Dracule. Instead, I come eye to eye with a white and blue striped mask.

"Wah!" I exclaim and point a finger at the guy's face, "You! You person, you!"

I get the distinct impression that he's blinking at me even though I can't see his eyes.

"Kidd's friend. From the hospital," I clarify.

"Oh," he says in a slightly surprised but altogether emotionless voice, "Yes. I thought you looked familiar."

He bows his head slightly.

"Thank you for taking care of him."

"Don't worry about it," I smile, "So, what can I do for you?"

"This is a bakery as well, yes? I heard somewhere that you make special order cakes here."

"Yes, I do!" I pull out a notebook and flip to a fresh page, "I need to know what flavor of cake and frosting you'd like and what you want it to look like or say."

"I would like a red velvet cake…don't really care what frosting you use."

I nod and write that down.

"How big is it going to be? Do you want square or circular?"

"Square. It should be large enough to feed twenty people. As for the design, can you put this on it?" he holds out a piece of paper with an odd sort of face with a stitched mouth surrounded by a spikey circle.

"Sure! So, what's the occasion?"

"Today is Kidd's birthday."

I freeze and look up to where I think his eyes are.

"Really?!" I pull out a marker and turn to the calendar on the wall, stars in my eyes, "I get to add another birthday to the calendar! Wonderful!"

"How much will this be?"

"4000 Beri, but don't worry," I wave him off as I write 'Red's B-Day' on today's square, right under the words 'Peculiar People Day', "I only collect once it's finished and delivered."

"Alright. I'd like it by seven o'clock at this address."

He flips the paper with the design over, revealing the address.

"You've got it. By the way, I didn't catch your name. I'm May. Lily E. May," I hold out my hand for him to shake.

He takes it.

"Killer."

* * *

 **9:00 am**

After the masked man left (but not before buying some coffee which he drank through a straw poking through his mask), I got right to making the cake. It's currently baking while I mix the frosting behind the counter.

Someone clears their throat and I jump. This time, it is Mr. Dracule.

"You people have got to stop doing that," I huff at him.

He raises an eyebrow.

"Yes, you, I'm talking to you," I point my frosting-covered wooden spoon at him as I set down the bowl, "Stop being so sneaky."

As he takes his coffee to his table, the café is filled with a flash of light.

"Super!"

Franky enters and with four long strides (a dramatic pose with each step), he stands before the counter.

"May, I have arrived!"

Franky is a very tall man with electric blue hair (which is natural, just like Zoro's), large tattoos of stars on his forearms, and his usual wardrobe consists of a Hawaiian shirt and speedo.

Why do so many of my friends have problems with wearing clothes?

Regardless of his fashion sense, he's a wonderful carpenter and the only one I trust to fix up my café when it's damaged. Like right now.

"Hi, Franky," I smile at him, "Thanks for coming. Want anything to eat before you get to work?"

"No, no, your café's more important. Yosh! Let's get started!"

* * *

 **10:00 am**

I've met several peculiar people today. While Franky has been working, I've had a strange customer who rode on a unicycle, another that wore a crown and had nines painted on his cheeks, another one whose hair was styled like a three, and a few others. It truly is Peculiar People Day.

I just finish the crumb coat of the cake when the newly-fixed door opens to show Usopp in the doorway.

"May! The Great and Famous Usopp has arrived from a long and thrilling adventure. Me and my subordinates require sustenance, a meal worthy of conquering heroes!"

A kid with dark green hair and another with light purple peek out from behind Usopp's legs.

"Ah, are you guys on a fieldtrip?" I ask; Usopp helps out at the Going-Merry Daycare and often brings the kids out for 'adventures'.

"Hello, Usopp!" Franky calls from the corner where he's fixing the floor.

"No, we're on an adventure!" Piiman, the green-kid, proclaims.

"Yeah, adventure!" Ninjin, the other one, echoes.

"Huh? Where's Tamanegi?" I ask.

Usopp looks behind them and counts the two kids; finding one missing, he clutches his face in horror.

"We lost Tamanegi!"

"Oh, no! Captain Usopp, what do we do?"

Before we can really panic, a short, blond kid comes running into the café, yelling.

"Ahh! There's a weird man walking backwards!"

"Oi, Tamanegi! Don't go running off on your own!" Usopp lightly smacks the top of his head, "You had us worried."

"But, there's a weird guy! He's walking backwards!"

"How rude, I'm not weird. I'm just a passing hypnotist."

The four boys startle at the person standing behind them. The man turns around; he has a strange goatee and heart-shaped sunglasses.

"A hypnotist? Really?" Piiman asks.

"Prove it!" Ninjin demands.

"Alright, alright. Watch the magnificent powers of Jango the hypnotist! Look at this circle," he pulls out a large silver ring on the end of a string and we all look at it.

"When I say 'Jango!', you will fall asleep. One! Two! Jango!"

The last thing I remember is the counter rushing up to meet my head.

* * *

 **12:00 pm**

After Usopp, the kids, and I fell asleep (apparently the odd Jango did, too) and getting slapped awake by Franky, I got a text from Ace asking where Luffy was. I explained what I had done to get revenge, and since I figured Luffy had probably suffered enough at this point, I asked if Ace was willing to go save his brother from Garp. His response? ' _Lol, hell no.'_

Feeling increasingly bad about what I did, I send a message to Shanks.

' _Hey, I may have been a bit too mean to Luffy and set Garp on him. Think you're up for a rescue mission?'_

' _Dahaha, what'd Lu do this time? Sure, I'll get him. It's been a while since I've had a run-in with the old coot anyway'_

Confident that Luffy will be alright, I set aside my phone and continue to roll out the red fondant that will cover Red's cake. Haha, Red's cake is going to be red.

Oh shoot, but if I'm going to make that logo-thing black, I need to get some cocoa powder because I'm running low. I wrap up the fondant tightly and take off my apron, run upstairs and grab my wallet.

"Franky, I need to get something from the store, should be back pretty soon!" I call over my shoulder and rush out the door.

I make a quick run to Buggy's and purchase what I need. Glad that this was just a short trip and that I'll be back at the café soon, I hum a bit and swing my arms back and forth. And that's when the explosion goes off.

It's on the other side of Red Line, on the Paradise side, and if I'm correct, that's where a police station is located. I can't see the actual building, but I do see the large mushroom plume of fire that goes up. Oh dear. I have a very, very bad feeling about this.

My suspicions are confirmed when I hear jubilant laughter approaching me and see a head of red hair.

"May, what are you doing here?" Shanks laughs as he runs towards me; Luffy is tossed over his shoulder, laughing as well, "Oh well, you're coming with us!"

"Don't you dare!" I yell, trying to get out of the way, but it's no use; I'm tossed over Shanks' other shoulder as he keeps running down the streets.

"Hi, May!" Luffy waves at me as we hang over the red-head's back.

"Hi," I say miserably; I can't have a normal day for once, can I?

Then again, I don't have room to complain; after all, I'm the one who sent Shanks to save Luffy, and the one who set Garp on Luffy in the first place.

"Lesson learned," I grumble to myself.

I settle my elbow on Shanks' back to prop my head up and I watch the police officers chasing after us, a lot of them looking slightly singed.

"Was the explosion necessary, Shanks?" I ask him.

"Of course! Gotta make a good entrance when you bust into a police station."

"Yeah, May, don't you know that?" Luffy asks, like _I'm_ the one who's missing some common sense.

"Oh, how silly of me. Of course, I should have known that"

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

* * *

 **6:00 pm**

Dear god, my friends are all insane. Shanks got us into a high-speed car chase with the police after he snatched me off the streets, and after he gave them the slip, we had to lie low for a couple hours after that. When I finally got back to the café, Franky was almost done with his repairs and I still had a cake to decorate.

Fortunately, I'm able to finish it very quickly, with time to spare. It looks pretty good, a bit simple, but I don't think frosted flowers or 'Happy Birthday' written in flowery cursive would suit Red much. I let it sit for a while in the fridge while I go get ready to deliver it. Franky's being nice enough to give me a ride, seeing as I have no car.

I'm pretty tired. I hope I can get this over with quickly and then head to bed. It's been a long day.

* * *

 **7:00 pm**

Franky pulls up to the address Killer gave me; it's an auto shop in Paradise. All of its garages are open and we can see strings of lights strung up inside and hear loud heavy metal music blaring from within. I step out and carefully balance the cake in my arms. Spotting Red who's sitting on the hood of a car, laughing at something one of his surrounding friends said, I walk quickly up to him, a wide smile in place.

"Hey, Red!"

The men all stop laughing and look at me in surprise. I smile at them and hold up the cake.

"Happy Birthday!"

"Hey, Kidd, is this your woman?" one of his friends nudges him in the ribs with his elbow, "Didn't take you for the 'librarian' type."

"No, no, she's more of a 'pastor's daughter', I'd say," another one chimes in.

"Maybe she's the 'hipster-girl' type?"

"Shut the fuck up, you bastards," Kidd growls at them, some pink dusting his ears, "No, she's not. What are you doing here?"

"I brought a cake," I say, holding it up higher so they can see, "Killer came in today and told me it was your birthday!"

"So I did," the masked man himself steps up beside me, taking the cake from my hands and setting it on a table where there's other food and drink, "Here's your payment."

I pocket the Beri and grin at Red and slap his arm in a friendly way.

"So, made it to another year, huh? Congrats! Well, I just came to drop that off, have fun!"

"Hey, wait, lady! You should stay and celebrate! You're Kidd's friend, too, right?"

"Well, I guess, but I should—"

My words are ignored as someone shoves a drink into my hand and others wrap their arms over my shoulders so I can't go anywhere.

"Don't think, just drink!"

I look over at Kidd in amusement.

"Lively friends you've got here."

"Tch. Whatever," he says, but he's smiling.

I shrug and take a sip of whatever drink they handed me, and wave to Franky to let him know I'll be staying.

"So, how do you and Kidd know each other?"

My grin widens.

"Well, you see…"

* * *

 **11:59 pm**

Ah, it was a wild party. We got into a drinking contest (which I thoroughly lost) and there was a lot of horsing around and laughter. And loud music. Really, really loud music.

But, now, I'm very tired. It's been a long day. But, it was good.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Ffff, I'm sorry, I'm even later than yesterday's update. Come on, Jazz, get it together! Well, it's still the 10th somewhere in the world.**

 **Guest who caught the reference in Chp. 3- *finger-snappy-guns intensifies* Thank you! You're _super_ cool!**

 **SupremeGeneralJoker- Haha! Thanks! And don't worry, I have a lot of chapters planned for this story, so it won't be ending any time soon**

 **Jisca- Yes, nothing more calming than punching people in the face :D**

 **AwkwardPanda89- I'm glad you like it! It's awesome that people are finding this story funny, 'cause that's what I'm aiming for!**

 **Awesome Guest- Eyyy, nice to see you again! And wow, hearing that I'm doing good writing the characters is such an amazing compliment, ehehe! Thanks!**

 **Like always, thank you for reading and stick around!**

 **-jj**


	10. Chapter 10: In Which I Hope It Rains

**January 11/Monday/8:00 am**

' _I hope it rains today.'_

Ah~, I had more than three hours of sleep unlike usual, so I'm feeling very refreshed today. I stretch my arms above my head as I sit up and then absentmindedly pat Chou Chou's head as the little dog remains sleeping on top of my bed's covers.

Deciding that I should probably go unlock the door before Luffy breaks it down—wouldn't want to have Franky come back so soon after he just fixed it—I tumble down the stairs, yawning widely. I unlock the café's door and look through the window to see a beautiful sunny morning. And someone staring back at me. It's Law.

I smile and wave, opening the door to lean against the frame.

"Hey there! Lovely morning," I say.

"Are you not open today?" he asks, his eyes darting down to take note of my pajamas quickly before looking back up.

"Nope," I tell him cheerfully, "But, if you'd like some coffee, feel free to come in."

He nods and I step away from the doorway to let him in.

"Do you make a habit of coming to your workplace in sleeping attire on off-days, May-ya?" he asks as he follows me into the café.

"Haha, I live upstairs, this café is my home. And since it's my lazy day, this is normal," I explain, picking at the hem of my pajama shorts and oversized DOSKO1 PANDA shirt before giving him a thumbs up, "Besides, DOSKO1 is comfy."

He sends me a deadpan stare.

"That has nothing to do with anything you just said."

I just smile and get the coffee started for him, and then go to the kitchen to put on some tea. When my tea is ready, I come back out and pour Law a cup and come sit by him around Quintin.

"How are things at the Thousand Sunny?" I ask him, enjoying the warmth of the mug in my hands.

"Better, now that I know what to expect. I've become very good at dodging knives."

I nod.

"Sounds about right."

"I see the café has been fixed, by the way."

"Oh, I thought you didn't notice that it was banged up," I laugh, taking a sip of tea.

"I noticed, I simply thought it wasn't my business to ask about it."

We chat a bit more until the door crashes open and Luffy bolts into the room, wearing a bright yellow rain coat despite the pleasant weather outside.

"May! Food!"

I set down my tea in the nick of time as Luffy jumps straight into my lap and hugs me.

"Morning, Lu," I ruffle his hair, "Sorry about yesterday, I'll never do it again."

"That's okay," he beams, "I forgive you, May. I'm sorry, too."

I stand up with Luffy clinging to me like the monkey he is and begin to make breakfast. Immediately, I'm overwhelmed with a flood of words from Luffy as he discusses what he's been up to.

"And Usopp told me that there was some weird guy at the café yesterday, May, and that you were sleeping with him," Luffy chatters away, probably not realizing what he said; I nearly drop my spoon in the sauce I'm stirring.

"No, Luffy, there was a hypnotist that came in, and he made us fall asleep. I guess he accidentally hypnotized himself, too."

"So, you were sleeping with a weird person!"

"Sure," I sigh; there's nothing I can say to get Luffy to understand why he shouldn't phrase it like that.

I bring out the plates of food, setting one down for Law as well, and Luffy jumps into a seat and begins to eat. Halfway through his meal, he finally seems to notice Law.

"Ah! When did you get here?"

"I've been here since before you, Mugiwara-ya."

"Hi, I'm Luffy!"

Law looks a little taken aback by the teenager suddenly in his face, but gives his name in return.

"Trafalgar Law."

"Trafal-guy? That's a cool name."

"No, Trafalgar."

"Torao?"

"Tra. Fal. Gar."

"To. Ra. O"

"Trafalgar."

"Traffy!"

Law's smile is twitching as if he's annoyed. Which he probably is. And very much so.

"Luffy, I need to go shopping today, do you want to help me?" I say quickly, before Law can attack my baby with his fork, something he looks like he would love nothing more than to do right now.

"Yosh! Let's go!"

He grabs my wrist and heads out the door.

"Wait, Luffy, I need to get dressed first!"

* * *

 **10:00 am**

' _I hope it rains today.'_

After I got dressed and threw a raincoat on to match Luffy's and sent off Law to do whatever he does (and refusing to let him pay for coffee and breakfast on the basis that the cafe isn't open, so I can't accept money when it's not business hours), we went to Buggy's. Maybe I should have thought twice about bringing Luffy with me, because he and the large-nosed man don't get along too well. By the time we left the store, one of the walls had a very large, gaping hole in it and several light fixtures were broken. Don't ask how.

Anyway, the sun has remained persistently in the sky and the weather stubbornly clear and pleasant. That won't do at all for today! It needs to rain!

Well, maybe it's a good thing it's not raining right now, because we're carrying a lot of groceries back to my place. It'd be a shame if they got wet.

We get back to the café safely and I surprise Chou Chou with a new collar and leash. Now, we can go for walks! Which is exactly what I think we'll do right now. I wave to Luffy as he runs off down the street, probably to cause trouble somewhere, and head in the opposite direction to a park. It's a beautiful day. I glare up at the cloudless sky and shake my fist.

' _Rain already, damnit_!'

I settle down below a tree and pull out my book, letting Chou Chou wander around and sniff the area on his own. I trust him not to run off.

And look at that, he's running off, barking and chasing after something streaking across the ground. I stand and follow him to the base of a tree that he's barking up at. I peer into the branches and see that it's a cat. A very odd cat, too. Its fur is light blue and it has strange dark stripes that look like thorns or barb wire.

"Hello, kitty," I call up to it, "Are you lost? How about you come down from there?"

With a lot of coaxing, I manage to get the cat down from the tree and into my arms. He's very dirty, I'm pretty sure he's a feral cat, and he doesn't seem to be well fed. A similar state that Luffy found Chou Chou in.

It's not like I can just leave the poor thing alone. I nod; it's decided. I'm taking him home.

* * *

 **11:00 am**

I might have made a mistake.

The cat I've brought home is fairly well-behaved, although I think he's peeved with me for giving him a bath. The problem is, he and Chou Chou don't get along. They've knocked over a few chairs, ripped up the curtains, and somehow caused several small fires to start in my home. I now need a new duvet because of one.

I asked Iceburg if he'd like to take in a cat, but he said that his pet mouse Tyrannosaurus would be in danger if he did. I asked around to some of my other friends, but I got similar answers; someone is allergic to cats, another can't have pets in their home, Marco just really dislikes cats for whatever reason, and so on.

I sigh. It looks like I'm going to have to take him to an animal shelter or something. I pick up the cat that's hissing down at Chou Chou from his perch on top of the counter and head off down Red Line. As I turn a corner, I bump into someone.

"Watch where you're going, bitch—oh, it's you."

Red is glaring down at me, but he's distracted by the cat that jumps out of my arms and straight at him.

"Wa-What the fuck?" he catches the cat and holds it away from him. I can hear it purring loudly.

"Hey, sorry about that Red," I say, reaching out for the cat, "I'm on my way to drop this guy off at a shelter."

However, the blue cat doesn't seem to want to leave Kidd and wriggles around, trying to get away from my hands.

"Oi, would you stop that and behave, you little shit?" Red growls lowly at the cat, who immediately stops squirming. I stare at the two in interest.

"Do you want him?" I ask.

"Huh?" Red blinks at me, tearing his eyes away from glowering at the cat in his hands.

"I think he likes you," I explain, "And it would be such a shame to send him to a shelter. Do you want a cat?"

Kidd looks thoughtful, still holding the cat but absentmindedly giving his ear a scratch.

"Maybe," he finally says, "We have a rodent problem at the shop, so it might be a good idea. What's his name?"

"I don't know, I only found him today."

Kidd stares the cat in the eye, who looks back.

"His name is Heat," he decides.

"Heat?" I ask, raising an eyebrow, "What kind of name is that?"

"Shut up, it's the first thing that came to mind."

"Well, thanks for taking him," I smile and look up at the sky, "I hope it rains today."

* * *

 **3:00 pm**

Today has amazingly enough, been a lazy day for me. I've gotten to stay home and read, even take a nap, and I haven't had to be pulled away for any of my friend's mischief! It still hasn't rained, but hopefully it will by the end of the day.

I now sit on top of Quintin with a cup of tea and stare out the window, watching the going-ons of Red Line. There's never a boring day on this street. For the past couple hours, I've seen this blue-haired girl run back and forth, first with the man who came in yesterday, the one with nines painted on his cheeks. They were chasing Luffy, but then ran back the other direction, screaming, as a flood of water crashed down Red Line, accompanied by a large whale. A while later, once the water had drained from the streets and some workers from Whitebeard's zoo came and carted the whale off, the blue-haired girl came back, this time riding on a large duck. She accidentally got tripped by Robin who was passing by, but she quickly shook herself and continued running from the people that were chasing her. I saw the man that has hair styled like a three among the group of people. Huh. Anyway, then Luffy reappeared and defeated all of them, saving the girl, and Robin and I now watch while we sip tea and chat pleasantly about the weather.

I guess Luffy is helping Blue at this point, because when a tall man with a furry green coat and a hook for a hand steps up and seems to have an argument with her, Luffy wastes no time knocking him out and sending him flying with a punch.

That's my baby for you.

He spots me and Robin through the café window and waves happily, pulling the blue-haired girl to the café.

"May! Robin! This is Vivi, she's my friend as of today," Luffy announces.

"Hello," Robin nods.

"H-Hi there," the girl responds shyly.

I smile at her.

"Hello, I'm May. Lily E. May."

I look out the window as Luffy begins to explain the events that just happened and freeze. The sky is dark and there are small droplets on the windows.

"It's raining!"

I dash upstairs and grab my ugly yellow rain boots and coat, then sprint back down and burst through the door, Luffy not far behind.

"Woohoo! It's raining!" he yells, taking a running leap and landing in a puddle.

"What's so special about the rain?"

Vivi and Robin have followed us outside and I grin widely at the girl.

"It's Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friends Day!"

* * *

 **6:00 pm**

It's been a wonderful day. My friends and I have been running through the streets ever since it started raining, laughing and splashing each other. It's the lovely kind of rain, too, warm and gentle. I giggle and land in a puddle right next to Zoro, getting the green-haired man's pant leg soaked.

"Oi, get back here, May!'"

"Yohoho, I feel so alive!"

I shriek with laughter as Brook kicks water up at me, making Zoro mad that he didn't get there first.

"Cannonball!" Franky yells, landing in the puddle and getting all three of us wet.

"Usopp Special Water Cannon!" my long-nosed friend pulls out a strange device that has a funnel on top and is collecting rain water; he shoots it at Luffy, who laughs as he gets soaked.

"Usopp, you hit me!" Nami screams at him, "Now my hair is ruined."

Robin splashes Nami too, making her even more irate as the dark-haired woman laughs.

"Ah~, Robin-chan's laughter, I'm truly blessed today! Heaven smiles upon me," Sanji sighs with hearts in his eyes; Zoro kicks him so that he falls over into a puddle, "How dare you, you damn seaweed head!"

"Better pay attention when there's a battle going on, dartboard brow."

"Right, you asked for it!"

"This is such an excitable group," Vivi says, watching the two men fight each other with a slight smile.

"They're a bunch of idiots, that's what they are," Nami sighs in irritation.

I grin and step in a small puddle next to them, getting their feet wet.

"Ah! May, I'll get you for that!"

Laughing, I run away and promptly get tackled by Luffy into a large puddle.

What a good day for rain.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! How's it going everyone? Hope you're all well. There won't be a chapter tomorrow, but I'll be back on Wednesday. I'm going to try not to skip more than one day in updates.**

 **Cool Guest who caught the reference- *MAXIMUM FINGER-SNAPPY-GUNS*YOU'RE SUPER COOLY FRESH! Thank you for the wait, here's the next chapter!**

 **amethystcorvo- Wah! Thank you very much! And please, just call me Jazz, or JJ! uwu**

 **SupremeGeneralJoker- Wish granted! More chapters!**

 **Thanks for reading and stick around!**

 **-jj**


	11. Chapter 11: In Which I Make A Sick Visit

**January 13/Wednesday/7:45 am**

Do you ever look at some words in the English language and think ' _How in name of Walt Disney's left sock does that word sound like_ _ **that**_ _?_ '

Wednesday.

If you look at it, logically, it should be pronounced wed (as in the marrying kind)-nes (as in the Monster of the Loch)- day (I think we can understand this one.) But no. We say _Wends_ -day. Or something.

Pneumonia. Colonel. Floccinaucinihilipification. Gnat. Just to name a few more. Pterodactyl.

The bell rings and in walks Law.

"Good morning!" I greet him.

"I don't understand how you can smile so cheerfully this early in the morning," he yawns; he looks very tired and grouchy.

"Fifteen cups of tea and an enthusiasm for life," I give him a serious look and a thumbs up, getting a cup of coffee ready for him.

He tries to pay, but I shake my head with a smile.

"It's okay. Sometimes I let my friends get away without paying."

"Friends?" he asks in confusion, "When did we become friends?"

"Yesterday! Eating a meal together with someone is the ultimate act of friendship bonding! We're friends now, whether you like it or not," I state passionately, clenching my fist.

Before he can answer, Luffy charges in through the door.

"May!"

Oh, no, something has to be wrong, he didn't call for food!

"Luffy, what's the matter?"

"Ace is sick!" Luffy comes to a sliding halt next to the counter.

"Oh, really, what's wrong with him?"

"I dunno, he's sick."

"Oh."

"Anyway, c'mon, May! You have to come make him better!" he jumps over the counter and latches onto my hand, dragging me towards the door.

"Lu, you know I'm not a doctor, right?" I sigh, letting myself get pulled along; I look over at Law, "Sorry, it looks like I'm needed somewhere. Help yourself to the coffee."

"Would you like me to take a look at this 'Ace'?" he offers; that's really nice of him.

"Huh? Don't you have to be at the hospital?" I ask him.

"I'm not needed until this afternoon."

"Torao, you're a doctor?!" Luffy says, "Great, you can come along!"

He runs back and grabs Law's wrist and pulls as both out the door and to his and Ace's shared apartment.

* * *

 **8:20 am**

Ace and Luffy live together in this very nice apartment in New World. Why they even bother to keep it, I have no clue, because they hardly spend any time at it. Ace usually sleeps over at Marco or Thatch's places, or heck, even the zoo some nights and Luffy simply crashes at just about anybody's home, regardless of whether they agree to him staying or not.

"Sorry you got dragged along, Law," I apologize as Luffy fumbles with his keys, trying to find the right one, "You probably didn't need to come along in the first place."

"Why's that, May-ya?"

"I've never ever seen Ace sick, he's probably pretending to get out of work or something. It happens frequently enough."

"Ace! May's here!" Luffy yells into the apartment, having finally got the door open.

You would think that any place the brothers shared would be unbelievably messy, but on the contrary, it is quite tidy, if you ignore the scorch marks on the ceiling and cracks in the wall that vaguely look like fists have punched through them. This is because of two things: in the first place, they're almost never home anyway. The second is that I clean whenever I come over. What? I just don't like when things are overly messy, okay?

There's moaning and general "oh, woe is me" sounds coming from Ace's room.

"May is here Ace!"

There's a cough and then a feeble, pitiful voice says:

"May?"

Yeah, I'm not buying it for one second.

I silently motion for Law to follow me as we enter the bedroom to see a figure piled under the blankets. I gesture for Law to approach.

"Aw~, Ace are you not feeling well?" I ask in my best sympathetic voice while Law takes a seat on the edge of the very large and comfy bed.

"I feel terrible! Comfort me, May!" the lump underneath the blankets wails and then Ace springs up and hugs Law.

….

"What the fu—You're not May!"

"Hello, Ace-ya, I'm a doctor. I heard you were sick."

"I—what—you—what— _huh_?!"

I'm silently dying of laughter in the corner at the look on Ace's face.

"Speaking as a medical expert, you appear to be fine. You must have made a very sudden and rapid recovery," Law smirks.

"I mean, um—cough, cough…"

"Alright, Ace, what work are you avoiding?" I ask, finally over my laughing fit and stepping up to his bed while Law stands.

"Maaay, it's not fair!" he whines," I lost a bet with Marco and he said that I have to write a 100000 word essay about birds. _Birds_. Can you believe it? And I was supposed to finish it today. Stupid, featherbrain, sonnuva…"

"What was the bet?" I ask curiously; Marco isn't usually one to gamble.

"Well, y'see," Ace starts nervously, "We bet on who would win Pops' challenge…y'know, _that_ one."

I have to think for a moment about what he means. But then, a metaphorical lightbulb goes off.

"Have fun writing that paper," I say as I grab Law's arm and start walking out the door.

"No, wait, May, I'm sorry!"

I pull out my phone and pretend to dial a number.

"…Hello, yes, Marco? It's May. Do you know that Ace is— _Oof_!"

I find myself on the ground, tackled by Ace who is only wearing flame-patterned pajama pants and trying to tear the phone out of my grip.

"No, Marco, I'm not-! Huh? May, you didn't even call him! That's dirty," Ace takes the phone away from his ear as he sits up on my stomach.

I let out a long-sufferering-why-do-I-have-to-deal-with-this sigh.

"Ace, you bet on who would win, right?"

"Yeah, and I lost."

"Well, so did Marco. No one kissed me that night."

Ace stares down at me for a moment before his eyes start sparkling.

"May, you're a genius!" he laughs and tackles me with a hug, even though I'm already on the ground.

" _AceIneedair,_ " I huff as all the wind rushes out of my lungs.

"Right, right, sorry," he jumps up and uses my phone to call Marco, for real this time.

" _Hello_?" I hear from the phone; Marco sounds sleepy, like he just woke up.

"Ha, suck it, Marco! You lost the bet too, so I don't have to do your stupid essay!"

"… _You told May, didn't you. There's no way you'd figure that out by yourself."_

"Yeah, that's right, so up yours! Wait, did you just insult my smartness? Marco—hey, are you still there? Oh well."

He tosses my phone back to me, grinning.

"May, you're a life saver. I could kiss you right now."

"I'm leaving."

As Law and I head out the door—Luffy has disappeared to god knows where—he turns to me.

"What is this about a challenge involving people kissing you?"

"…I don't care to discuss it ever again."

* * *

 **10:00 am**

I hear someone clear their throat as I quietly fill out my Sudoku book. Without hesitation, I whip out a confetti popper and pull the string, showering a surprised-looking Mr. Dracule with bright pieces of paper. I smile at his confusion.

"Congrats, you're my new regular. You've come here seven times now. Come, come," I step out from behind the counter, grabbing two cups of coffee and setting them down on Quintin, I pat a chair, smiling expectantly at the man.

He sits down with the air of someone who's not quite sure what they're getting themselves into.

"Well, we know each other's names. That's I good start," I begin, "What do you do for a living?"

"Do you do this with all of your customers, Miss Lily?" he asks, taking a sip of coffee.

"Nope, just the regulars. Consider yourself special," I grin, "So, I work at and own this café. It's the first, last, and only job I'll ever do. How about you?"

"I work with the government," he says, crossing his arms and giving in to defeat.

"Anything in particular you do?"

"That's classified."

"Ah, I see. Any hobbies?"

"Not particularly."

"Aw, c'mon, there has to be something! See, for instance, I like doing Sudoku puzzles."

"I suppose I collect swords."

"That's awesome."

We sit and chat for a while until he goes on his way. See? Told you he'd warm up eventually. HAHAHAHA—

* * *

 **12:00 pm**

Luffy has dragged Shanks to my café for lunch, who in turned dragged Makino along. They sit at the counter, talking amongst themselves, while I get the food ready, occasionally catching snippets of their conversation.

"…So, then, I had this giant shark on the fishing line, right? And I knew I couldn't let him get away, but the pole was breaking, so I jump right into the water and started wrestling with it…"

"…But, Shanks, how did a manta ray save you? They're not that big."

"These were giant ones!"

I serve up the food, Luffy and Shanks attacking it with gusto while Makino and I take it at a more reasonable pace.

"Luffy, is Ace okay? I heard he was sick," Makino asks the teen who has his cheeks stuffed.

"Yesh, he'sh better."

"He was never sick to begin with," I roll my eyes, "He was faking in order to get out of a bet he and Marco had."

"Oh, well, at least he's healthy. That's good," she smiles softly.

Shanks and I look at her before turning to each other, crying happy tears.

"Makino is so pure!"

"She's such an angel!"

"S-Stop it, you two," she blushes.

Instead, we both hug her, patting her head.

"As I thought, Makino is the best!"

"What did we ever do to deserve such a wonderful person in our lives!"

"Gah, you're both impossible!"

"We love you too, Maki-chan!"

" _And you said you'd stop calling me that!"_

* * *

 **3:00 pm**

' _Just a heads up May, Galley-La has a very big order coming up on the 17_ _th_ _, so we'll probably need you for support.'_

' _Okay, Iceburg, just give me a warning or something before you guys shove me into the back of a white van again.'_

I text Iceburg back and go back to my Sudoku puzzle. Afternoons in the café are generally pretty quiet. The bell rings and I see Robin, Nami, and the newly acquainted Vivi walk in.

"Hello, May!" Nami calls, taking a seat at Quintin, "Orange pekoe tea, please!"

"Just coffee for me, May," Robin nods, taking a seat as well.

"If you have some green tea, that'd be nice," Vivi smiles; she's still a bit shy, but that's alright.

"Sure thing!" I get the water boiling in the kettle and a cup of coffee for Robin, "Nami, is Pointy-Nose out of the hospital yet?"

"No," she smirks, "And since he's not around, my higher ups have temporarily promoted me to his job. If I do well enough, it could be permanent."

"Well, good riddance, that guy was a jerk."

"Hear, hear."

"So, Vivi," I set down her's and Nami's teas, as well as a cup for myself, "What do you do?"

"Ah, I work with my papa's company. He's in charge of the city's water district."

"You mean Cobra, the guy who's super rich and basically the ruler of the Alabasta district?" Nami says; I can see the Beri signs in her eyes.

"Yeah, that's my dad," Vivi sweatdrops.

"Nami, don't get any ideas," I warn her, "Anyway, Makino has invited us over to Party's tonight. She also says we need to get together for a girl's night or something."

"That sounds lovely," Robin says, "I wouldn't mind."

"I agree. It's been too long since we've had a day for just us women," Nami nods.

I glance over at Vivi who's awkwardly sipping her tea.

"You're invited, too, you know," I tell her.

"Really?" she asks, blushing a bit, "I don't want to intrude…"

"You're not," I laugh easily, "Any friend of Luffy's is a friend of ours. Besides, we could use some more females in the group."

She smiles gratefully.

"In that case, I'd love to."

* * *

 **6:20 pm**

Makino's bar is just a lively as it always is, despite it being the middle of the week. I see Shanks already surrounded by empty beer bottles, talking animatedly to Benn and Luffy in the corner. Oh, Buggy's there too, it looks like he and the red head are arguing. Ace is asleep next to his brother, his face planted firmly on the table.

"Oh, Vivi, you're old enough to drink, right?" I ask the blue-haired girl beside me. We ran into each other on my way to the bar.

"Yes…but you might have to buy it for me because I'm only seventeen," she grins sheepishly, "I'll pay you back."

"No problem! It's good that you can, because Makino mixes some really good drinks."

"May!" the woman herself spots me from the bar and calls out in greeting. I wave and pull Vivi over with me.

"Hey, Makino! This is Vivi, a new friend. Vivi, this is Makino," I introduce the two women.

"Nice to meet you," Makino nods in greeting.

"Same to you."

"I'll be buying for Vivi tonight, so just put it on my tab," I tell the barkeeper.

"Alright, what can I start you ladies with?"

"Is hard cider okay with you?" I ask Vivi, who nods, "Hard cider then. And, you don't care if she drinks something besides wine or beer, do you, Makino? She needs to try one of your creations."

"It'll be our little secret," the dark-haired woman winks at the younger girl as she sets two bottles in front of us.

"Cheers," I hold up my and we clink bottles together and each take a sip.

Nami and Robin walk over to us and take a seat at the counter, drinks already in their hands. The five of us chat pleasantly for a while about this and that while Makino hands out drinks to her patrons. Suddenly, the door bursts open and a familiar man stands in the doorway.

"Everybody freeze!" he yells, "My name is Higuma, and I'm robbing this bar!"

"Makino, phonebook," I snap my fingers.

"Here you go, May."

The phonebook goes flying, knocking out the thief. Huh, I thought Buggy took care of this guy. Oh well.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Sorry, sorry, I overslept today so I didn't have time to post this before I had other things to do! It's here now though. But wait, what is this?! GASP! We have conflicting ships?! *whips microphone out* And welcome to the FFE (FanFiction Fighting Entertainment) Shipping Wars! In this corner, we have one time heavyweight reviewer mun3litKnight for May and Ace and in the other, recurring rookie reviewer SupremeGeneralJoker for May and Law! (Proper ship names are up for debate: I personally like Mace and Lawly, but what do you guys think?) Get ready for the SHIPPING SMACKDOWN! No rules, no regulations; kicking, biting, punching, insult-throwing and steel chairs are all fair game in this free for all! 3,2,1 Fight!**

 **Haha, kidding, kidding. I'm thrilled that you guys are liking this story enough to make ships!**

 **Awesome Guest- Obscure holidays are a serious business to May's friends. Wouldn't do to be unprepared for Step In a Puddle and Splash Your Friend Day!**

 **AwkwardPanda89- Oh, I guess I didn't make it clear enough, haha. Heat is the name of one of Kidd's crew members, the guy with the Glasgow stitches! I don't know why, but I wanted him to be a cat. So, I made him a cat.**

 **amethystcorvo- Thanks! I sorta failed to get this update in time, but I'm going to try to not skip more than one day at a time!**

 **Jisca- Quite frankly, it's a miracle he didn't get broken this time, considering that he's been broken 613 times now over a two year time span :D**

 **Thanks for reading! Make sure to stick around!**

 **-jj**


	12. Chapter 12: In Which I Go For A Drive

**January 15/ Friday/7:30 am**

It is quite amazing the amount of trouble my friends can get into. After two years of knowing them, I've been able to turn many a blind eye to the mischief they've caused and know not to ask questions, but it still astounds me. And yet, not a single one of them has ever been caught. That's the thing that I find most incredible.

"May!" Luffy comes barging into the café this morning, and I see a camel with oddly shifty eyes peering in behind him before it runs off down the street, "May, do you mind if I hide here? There's a police-guy after me, the one I thought was an oji-san!"

"Upstairs, quick!" I point to the stairs and he doesn't hesitate to dash up them; hoo boy, this is going to be an interesting day, I can already tell. Probably a very long one as well.

Not seconds later, a tall and intimidatingly buff man with an even more intimidating scowl and impressively white hair rushes in, not one, but two cigars hanging from his mouth.

"Hello, sir!" I welcome him warmly, "A fine morning, isn't it? I regret to inform you that smoking is not allowed here."

"My apologies, ma'am," he says quickly, throwing them out the door onto the sidewalk before coming further into the café in a rush, "Pardon the intrusion but have you seen a boy wearing a straw hat riding a camel past here, or a man with blue hair and a large red nose?"

I tilt my head to the side and stare at him in confusion.

"You're asking me…" I say slowly, as if trying to understand, "If I've seen someone riding a camel and a clown…in the middle of a city? Is there a circus in town I didn't know about?"

The policeman seems to realize how ridiculous his question just sounded; which, to be perfectly honest, is not the strangest of things that could happen on Grand Line, especially if you know the people I know. But, _he_ doesn't know that I know the people that I know, you know? To him, I'm simply another average citizen.

"You would definitely know about them if you had seen them," he sighs in irritation, "They must have gone a different way. Sorry for the disruption."

"No worries, officer, I hope you find them. Would you like a cup of coffee on your way?" I smile vaguely at him, still putting on the best 'innocent bystander' act I can manage.

He eyes the full coffee pot behind me with the eyes of someone who has not had enough caffeine to begin his day. He nods, coming to a decision.

"Sure."

"Wonderful! My name is May, by the way. Lily E. May."

"Smoker."

* * *

 **9:00 am**

Chou Chou sits on the counter next to my Sudoku book and cup of tea; Mr. Dracule is at his table with his coffee and newspaper. Such a lovely, quiet morning—

"May, I need to hide here for a sec!"

Zoro bursts into the café, wearing the uniform he only usually wears at the dojo.

"Upstairs," I nod, not even looking up from my puzzle and he dashes up.

As before with Luffy, barely moments pass before someone bursts through the door. This time however, it's a police woman with short dark hair and glasses.

"Excuse me, ma'am, have you seen a man with green hair wearing traditional kendo clothing that has a scary face?" she pants.

I tilt my head and look at her in confusion, the same as I did not even two hours ago.

"So, you're asking me…if I've seen a green-haired samurai…with green hair…that is green?" I ask slowly.

"No, not exactly a samurai," she hesitates, but shakes her head as if to clear it, "But yes, his hair is green. Have you seen anyone like that pass by?"

"Can't say I have," I smile, "You look like you could use some coffee. Would you like a cup?"

"Dangit, he got away! Smoker's going to be mad…" she groans, looking at the coffee pot behind me, "…Some coffee would be lovely."

"Wonderful! My name is May, by the way. Lily E. May."

"Nice to meet you, May-san. I'm Tashigi."

* * *

 **12:00 pm**

After the police lady left and the coast was clear, Zoro and Luffy came back down and decided to stay for a while, at least until they're sure their pursuers are gone.

"So, you guys wanna tell me why I had not one, but two police come in here today?" I'm not usually one to ask questions, but if there's a chance the boys' stupid antics get me in trouble too, then I need to know what's going on.

"Me an' Buggy got in a fight this morning," Luffy says, shoveling down his lunch, "Then that Old-guy-police-guy was there, yelling at us about something like 'disturbing the peace' and 'destroying public property.' We ran away after that, and also, there was a camel. His name is Eyebrows and he's a pervert."

"Hell if I know!" Zoro says in exasperation, "I had to go get some more bandages from the store because one of the kids was a dumbass and got himself hurt, and the next thing I know, some crazy police woman is chasing me down, screeching that I stole a purse or something. I didn't have time for her, so I ran."

"It's probably because you have such a suspicious face," I inform him.

"Yeah, shut up."

"Uh, by the way, don't you need to be getting back to the dojo? What about the hurt kid?" I ask.

"Nah, I managed to drop off the bandages while I was running; Kin'emon can look after the brats for a while."

"Oh."

"May!"

I sigh as Ace comes bursting into the café; wonder what it is now. Without wasting anymore words, Ace grabs both Luffy's and Zoro's arms and jumps over the counter, forcefully pulling the two with him to their surprise and displeasure.

"No time to explain, gotta hide," he says, putting a finger over his lips and crouching behind the counter. I run a hand over my face tiredly and clear away the dishes Zoro and Luffy were using. Right on cue, the officer from this morning runs in, looking wildly in every direction.

"Hey! Did a shirtless guy wearing a bright orange cowboy hat and a bunch of accessories with a lot of tattoos and freckles come in here?!"

Cue the innocent head tilt.

"So…you're asking me…if I've seen a half-naked…tattooed…freckled cowboy?" I ask slowly; I kick Zoro whom I see shifting out of the corner of my eye, getting ready to peek over the counter edge and then put my foot on Luffy's chest, pushing him further back under the counter when he's about to do the same.

Zoro lets out a muffled yelp which I quickly cover with a small cough of my own and smile pleasantly up at the officer.

"Ugh, nevermind, it's clear you haven't seen him. Sorry to disturb," he stomps out of the café, muttering under his breath about obscenely bright hats.

I look under the counter at the three boys and shake my head.

"How did I ever get tangled up with such trouble-makers?"

* * *

 **3:00 pm**

Today's been a fairly good day. I've had a steady stream of customers (when my friends aren't barging into the café tailed by police officers) and that means I've met a few new people! And I even recognized some of them, so that's good too. It means people are liking my coffee enough to come back.

The door crashes open and Luffy runs past me where I'm sweeping the café, straight up the stairs.

"Sorry, May, police-guy is chasing me again!"

I sigh and continue sweeping until, inevitably, Officer Smoker comes running in. But not before courteously putting out his cigars outside. What a gentleman.

"Did you see a kid with a straw hat run by? Red shirt, blue shorts, and a scar under his eye?"

"So…..you're…asking me…if I've…seen…a boy wearing…a straw hat…?" I lean my arms on the top of the broom and rest my chin on them, "A boy wearing a straw hat. With a red shirt and blue shorts?"

"Yes, exactly!"

"And a scar on his cheek?"

"Yes!"

"Nope, haven't seen anyone like that," I go back to my sweeping.

Smoker lets out a curse and I look over to him.

"Want some more coffee?" I ask sympathetically.

"…Sure."

I pour the police officer a cup and start up a friendly conversation while he enjoys his coffee.

Hmm, I need to go to the grocery store after I close today. I'm almost out of food.

* * *

 **7:00 pm**

I'm on my way back to the café from my shopping trip; I'm no longer in danger of running out of food. For a few days at least. Buggy seemed particularly peevish today; he told me that Luffy (or as Buggy calls him, 'the damn straw hat kid') almost got him arrested this morning. I just smiled blithely and told him he shouldn't get into fights with kids nearly half his age that he knows can kick his butt. I left the Buggy Mall with many things thrown at my head and spluttered curses following me out the door.

"Oi!"

I look over my shoulder, to see Shanks and Benn rounding a street corner at a breakneck run and Shanks is grinning like a madman. Oh no. This cannot be good. For me, that is.

I stand like a deer in headlights as they bear down on me, and then Benn is picking me up and continuing to run with both me and my groceries thrown over his shoulder, and then I'm in the driver's seat of a car.

"May, you get to be our getaway driver today," Shanks smacks my shoulder in what is meant to be a good-natured way as he hops into the backseat, "Better hurry because those guys are not far behind. Also, wear this hat and keep it lowered over your face."

I stare at him in horror as he slaps a large baseball cap onto my head and it droops over my eyes.

"You can't be serious. Shanks, you know I—!"

"It's easy! One on the right is gas, left one is brake, NOW GO!" he yells, reaching from the backseat to turn the key and start the engine.

Not waiting any longer, Benn reaches across from the passenger's seat and grabs my knee, slamming it down so that my foot hits the gas pedal and we're off, several black Mercedes-Benz that would probably be typical of a mafia's if I had time to think about such a thing right now are screeching around the corner and roaring down the street after us. Benn quietly and calmly lights a cigarette, one-handed as his other hand is still pushing down on my leg as we accelerate rapidly.

" _YOU KNOW I CAN'T DRIVE, YOU IDIOTS_!"

* * *

 **10:00 pm**

"Here's to May! Her first time driving a getaway car! And her first time driving on top of that!"

I currently have my head buried in my arms on Party's Bar's counter while people around me cheer and a few slap my back and offer their congratulations with no reaction from me, other than a pitiful groan. The last couple of hours have been a nightmare; we finally gave whoever was chasing us the slip when Grand Line's freak weather helped us out and massive bolts of lightning hit the cars behind us. Up until then, Benn sat calmly next to me, quietly giving me instructions and tips on how to drive while Shanks leaned out the windows, taunting the our pursuers, and I was trying not to get us all killed, clutching the steering wheel in a death grip and my body tense as a plank of wood. My hands still hurt from how tightly I was holding the wheel. In addition to the hat, Shanks also gave me his coat that trapped my long hair below it and had me button it up until it covered the bottom of my chin. Let me tell you, it is extremely difficult to put on a coat when you are driving at wild speeds down the streets of a city.

I hear Shanks' laugh as he falls onto the seat next to me a tosses his arm over my shoulder.

"Hey, c'mon May, don't be so down; it wasn't that bad!" he tells me, "You did a great job!"

I turn my head to the side and glare at him from underneath the brim of the hat.

"We could've died, you dumbass! I know nothing about cars and driving, and you put me in the front seat?!"

"Well, we didn't die," he defends himself, stupid smile still in place, "And besides, Bennie would've taken the wheel if he thought you couldn't handle it."

"You guys are never allowed to do that to me again," I say flatly.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. Now, Makino!" he calls out, "I think May could use a couple of drinks! I'm buying for her tonight!"

"Makino, get me the most expensive bottles of vodka, wine, champagne, and scotch that you have," I sit up and tell her; she smiles and heads to the back.

"What!? Wait, no I take that back," Shanks protests.

"Too late, you're paying," I grin at him.

"Ah, outsmarted by May! But, I guess you deserve it. Now, let's see if you can actually drink all of that or if you're just talking big!"

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Ah, I forgot to give you guys a heads up that there wasn't going to be a chapter yesterday, my bad! Well, here we are, a bit better on timing, but I'll work on it, promise!**

 **Cool Finger Snappy Guest- Yeah, for some reason, on some days when I do update, FF decides not to show that I updated. It's a bit weird, but it's a good thing you didn't miss the chapter! And OOOOHHHH WHAT'S THIS? ANOTHER CONTENDER IN THE FFE SHIPPING WARS?! May and Sabo, oh dang, shipping someone who hasn't even made an appearance yet! How exciting!**

 **AwkwardPanda89- No prob! He's not exactly a main character, so I was wondering if I should even write him in, but well, he's there now. Glad you liked the chapter!**

 **SupremeGeneralJoker- Lol, I agree, the name Lawly is super cute! I wonder what will happen...? Hmmmm?**

 **JediGemini- Wow, I'm sorry to hear that you aren't having such a good time, but I'm super glad that my silly little story could cheer you up :) Keep on keeping on!**

 **Alright, that's all for today, my friends! Thanks for reading and stick around!**

 **-jj**


	13. Chapter 13: In Which I Go to Galley-La

**January 16/Saturday/7:00 am**

Oh.

I may have made a very big mistake last night. I have a splitting headache that's not letting me go back to sleep. Also, there's sunlight on my eyes, I definitely can't go back to sleep now. And I was looking forward to sleeping in today, too!

The pillow underneath me shifts and I slowly open my eyes, confused—pillows aren't supposed to move. After a blurry moment, my eyes come into focus and I find myself staring at a muscular chest. I look up at the owner of the chest and blink.

"The hell are you doing here, Ace?" I mumble in a sleepy voice.

"Well, good morning to you, too," he grins at me, "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes."

"Ugh, don't talk so loud, my head hurts," I whine, sitting up and figuring out that we're on the couch, "Why did I fall asleep here and not my bed?"

"You must've been pretty drunk last night. Don't you remember? I came to Makino's and carried you home because you didn't feel like walking. Shanks offered to, but he probably would've dropped you, he was really drunk. Anyway, you said you didn't want to go to sleep, so we stayed up watching movies on your laptop until two in the morning."

"Oh, yeah that's right!"

Vague memories are coming back to me from last night now; _oof_ , last time I let Shanks talk me into a drinking contest. At least I have some very nice bottles of vodka and scotch now—the wine and champagne were polished off. I stand and let the world spin for a second as I get grounded, then trudge to the bathroom to get some medicine for my headache. Ace trails in behind me and seats himself on the counter while I fill a glass with water and take out two pills.

"You do know that it is seven o'clock, right? Don't you usually wake up at three to get everything ready?"

I shake my head and swallow the pills before answering.

"Something's happening today. I can't remember exactly what, but I won't be here today. Now, if only I could remember what it is…" I take a sip of water and contemplate the mystery of today's events; it continues to elude me.

"May, has anyone ever told you that you're hilarious when you're drunk?"

"Has anyone ever told you that you need to shut up?"

* * *

 **8:00 am**

After eating a simple breakfast of slightly burnt eggs and potatoes (courtesy of Ace, who said he wanted to cook for who knows what reason) and downing twenty cups of tea, the pounding headache is finally starting to fade. I still don't know what's supposed to happen today, but I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

For now, I'm preparing some airpots to set outside so that if anyone comes by, they can still have some coffee. Well, so long as nobody steals them. That would be too bad. Ace left a while ago to go about with his day. Not before he got hit with a phonebook for nearly burning down the kitchen though. I swear, he loves playing fire too much. As I'm putting the airpots out on a little table with a note saying 'Please help yourself', my phone buzzes in my pocket. I pull it out—a text from Iceburg.

' _Ready? Paulie's on his way'_

Oh, right. _That's_ what's happening today. A squeal of screeching tires wails down the street and I look up in time to have the white van with 'Galley-La' painted on the side pull up in front of me before I'm grabbed and hoisted into the back. Why can't my friends ever let me get into a car normally? That's right, because they're my friends and can't do anything the normal way. Of course, I wouldn't love them any other way.

"Hey, May, thanks for agreeing to come!" Paulie says from the front seat; Peeply Lulu and Tilestone are with me in the back, with me squeezed between the two men.

"Anything for you guys," I smile widely.

* * *

 **10:00 am**

Every so often, Galley-La gets a large order that needs to be done by a certain time. The day before the due date, I'm usually brought in to help with the last minute crunch. Not as a ship-builder, of course, why on earth would you think that? I have the strength of a limp noodle on a Sunday afternoon and would never be able to do the heavy-lifting work the Galley-La employees do. Not that I know how strong limp noodles are on Sunday, but I'd imagine that they're not very strong. No, I'm their personal cook on days like these, because until the order is finished, every worker will not stop or even sleep; that means hardly any time for meals and a lot of coffee if they have to work through the night. And that's where I come in.

With a quick grocery store trip, we arrived at Galley-La with a van overflowing with food, and then I immediately got down to business, straight to the portable grill and stove that Iceburg keeps for days just like these to whip up breakfast for my friends in a storm. By nine thirty, everyone had eaten and they're now in a working frenzy while I fill cup after cup of coffee for my friends. Even Iceburg is helping today; when it comes to crunch time, it's all hands on deck.

No pun intended.

I watch the chaos around me since I have some down time at the moment; it always amazes how much work my friends can get done when they're so busy arguing.

"I told you to get me a hammer, you idiot!"

"You said screwdriver!"

"Why the hell would I need a screwdriver?!"

"I don't know, stop yelling!"

"You stop yelling first!"

"I apologize for yelling!"

"TILESTONE, SHUT UP!"

* * *

 **12:00 pm**

"So. It comes down to this."

"So it would seem."

Paulie and Iceburg are facing off with each other, their hands flat on the table as they lean towards each other, glaring intensely. All of the Galley-La workers crowd around, breathless and anxious about what will happen.

"I have 500 Beri on Paulie," I hear someone mutter.

"Are you kidding? You know how strong Iceburg is. 800 Beri on him."

"Yeah, but Boss is a huge softie, he'll probably let Paulie win."

"Not over something as serious as this."

I roll my eyes and get another pot of coffee ready while the two ridiculous men stare each other down. Tempers are running a bit high because everyone is stressed. Even Iceburg is affected by it and that's why he's getting into this petty fight with Paulie.

"Paulie, you know I saw it first. It's mine," Iceburg says.

"Like hell it is! You may be the boss here, but in times like this, you should be the bigger man and show your employees some appreciation."

"Well, as the boss, I can do what I want because I have privileges. That coffee is mine!"

With that, the blue-haired man lunges for the coffee resting between them on the table.

Yes, this fight is over a cup of coffee. The _last_ cup of coffee for now, at least until the pot I just started is ready. But, no, they can't wait until then.

"Rope action!" Paulie cries, using some rope he has up his sleeves to catch Iceburg's hands and push them away from the cup. However, his movement upsets the table and the two men watch in dismay as the cup falls off the edge and shatters on the ground.

"My coffee!" Paulie wails.

"Oh my god, you guys are ridiculous," I sigh, pushing two new cups of coffee in their faces, "Here's your coffee, now get back to work."

"Wow, that was so fast, May, like a shooting star!" Iceburg exclaims, taking the cup gratefully.

"Yes, yes, I know. Don't you have something to get back to?"

"You're right! Paulie let's go! We'll finish this quickly with the strength of May's coffee to support us!"

With a cheer, the workers all go back to the ship, their determination to finish it rekindled.

* * *

 **4:00 pm**

That determination lasted a grand total of half an hour before it died an agonizingly slow and painful death. It has long since burned out; everyone is very tired and just wants to get the damn thing done and call it a day. Not even Paulie has the strength to argue with anyone. All I can do is refill people's coffee and make them food to keep them energized, but even I'm becoming drained. I hope this won't turn into a late night for everyone; at least I can take comfort in the fact that tomorrow the café doesn't open until ten.

* * *

 **7:00 pm**

It's been eight hours (well, for me, my friends have been working for even longer) and we're all nearing the end of our ropes, I can tell.

"Ugh, I think I've died. Here's my will. Tell my family I love them."

"No, you have to hold on! Don't you give up on me!"

"Goodbye, cruel world! I'm going to that great field in the sky."

"Damnit! Where's Franky?! Doesn't he know we need everyone today?!"

"Did someone say my name?!"

We look up at one of the cranes that has a sheet with a figure silhouetted on it, while some music starts up playing from an unknown source.

"Are you kidding me?! He's shows up here when we've already been working since dawn?"

"Screw you, Franky! Get your ass down here and pull your weight!"

"Yes! Say my name! Superrrrrr!" The sheet falls away to reveal my eccentric blue-haired friend, posing ridiculously with his arms together above his head. He jumps down, miraculously landing safely and is immediately smacked by multiple workers around him.

"About time you showed up, asshole!"

"We're going to have to pull an all-nighter and where've you been?!"

"Do you know how much faster things could have gone if you weren't off goofing around?"

"Well, I'm here now, so don't you worry your pretty little heads!" Franky gives everyone a thumbs up and is smacked by more irate people yelling at him.

I laugh; it is true, Franky is very late, which is a good reason for the workers to be mad at him, but he has brought some life back to everyone with his appearance. With this, I feel like we can get through the night just fine.

"Yosh! Let's get to it!"

* * *

 **12:00 am**

I lied, we're not getting through this just fine. On top of being irritable and lacking energy, everyone is now running on little sleep and getting a bit careless. There have been more than a few smashed fingers in the past couple of hours. The only one who is in anything close to a good mood is Franky. Where he gets his energy, I have no clue—he claims it's from all the sodas he drinks, but even that has to have its limits.

Currently, I'm only awake because of how much tea I've had to drink today. I lost track after the 50th cup, but I think I'm on somewhere around my 80th cup. With everyone still working, it's looking like this is going to be an all-nighter after all. A large bell rings through the shipyard, signaling a fifteen minute break. My friends come shambling over like a horde of the undead and collapse into chairs, some forgoing chairs and stumbling onto the floor to lie there unmoving.

I nudge Iceburg who looks like he's about to drop face first into his coffee mug.

"I think they need some motivation. Otherwise, none of us are going to make it to morning. Go give some encouraging speech or something."

He nods tiredly and stands, grabbing the attention of those who are still awake and not dozing off.

"My friends," he calls, getting everyone else's attention, "This is a long and hard night for us all. But, I know we can get through this. We need to dig deep and I know we can! And, in order to motivate you all, here's what I'm offering."

He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out some photographs. Wait, those look suspiciously like…

"Whoever finishes their job the quickest and to the best of their ability will get these pictures of May-san in a bikini that one of her friends took without her knowing!"

The men all surge up as one and rush back to their jobs. Oh my god, where did Iceburg get those pictures?!

"Iceburg!" I yell at him, grabbing for the photos, but he holds them away from me.

"Ah, sorry May, but they needed the motivation."

"Where did those pictures come from?!"

I try to jump up and snatch them out of his hands, but he holds them high above my reach. Damn, why is everyone taller than me? I'm not _that_ short.

"Your friend, Thatch. He took them a few days ago. Something about a challenge at the zoo. Nma! Maybe I shouldn't have told you, I think it was supposed to be a secret."

" _I'm going to kill him!"_

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Someday I'll get back to a regular posting time, guys, I swear! Well, more adventures with May and her friends, we'll pick up with the Galley-La folks tomorrow, but until then, you'll have to wait!**

 **SupremeGeneralJoker- Thanks! I hope I shan't disappoint!**

 **Snappy Cool Guest- Lol yeah, I remember my first time behind a wheel. I was inching along at 15 and felt like I was going way too fast :D But, yes, we'll be seeing more of Smokey and Tashigi, but no unfortunately, May doesn't make doughnuts. But the coffee's good! And for the shipping...well, we'll just have to wait and see *shifty eyes***

 **Jisca- Who was Shanks running from? DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. Haha, no, I was thinking it would be some of Kaidou's goons or some'ing.**

 **amethystcorvo- OOOOOO DANG, WE'VE GOT YET ANOTHER OPPONENT IN THE ARENA! They've decided to pair May and Ace, and what's this?! Interfere with Lawly by claiming Law for themselves?! Tune in next time to the FFE Shipping Wars to see what happens next!**

 **Thanks for reading, everyone! Stick around!**

 **-jj**


	14. Chapter 14: In Which I Get A Hit List

**January 17/Sunday/7:15 am**

After a grueling night of hard work and a lot of coffee (and many, many tears), my time at Galley-La finally came to an end at five o'clock this morning. It turns out that Paulie was the prize winner of those stupid pictures (I am so going to kill Thatch in the near future for those, and find out who else he distributed them to) but fortunately, I was able to snatch them from his pocket while he drove me back to the café after saying some very tired goodbyes to the rest of the Galley-La workers, tear them to shreds, and burn them with his lighter.

I managed to get an hour and a half of sleep in before I had to wake up and go make a small shopping trip. After all, a special day is coming up and I need to be prepared for it.

Anyway, I'm on my way home, shopping bags in hand, it's a beautiful sunny morning, and there's a large group of girls walking in front of me. _Slowly_. My god, why can't people walk faster? Or at least have the decency to not walk in a line and take up the entire sidewalk? I'm so tired and have not had enough sleep or tea or caffeine in general to deal with this right now. Maybe if I walk at a snail's pace and give them some room, they'll eventually get out of my way.

A large woman is approaching from the other direction as I continue to be stuck behind this horribly, horribly slow gaggle of girls that are talking shrilly amongst themselves. And contrary to what any decent human being would do, like stepping aside for the lady to let her pass without stepping into the street, they maintain their line, making her bump into the girl on the end as she passes.

"Hey, watch where you're going, you whale!"

"Oh my gosh, stop taking up so much room, fatty!"

"Yeah, how do you expect us to keep walking here with your fat ass taking up the entire sidewalk?"

Great, now they're standing there insulting this poor woman. In the middle of the freaking walkway so I can't get around them.

"Excuse me," I say. They turn to look at me.

"What?" one of them snaps.

"Would you mind moving so I can go by? I have somewhere to be."

"Hmph. We'll move as soon as the fat bitch apologizes for bumping into us."

The poor woman looks like she's about to slap these jerks to heaven above for insulting her, but then I see it; her eyes are unusually shiny, even though she's glaring down at them. If you listen closely enough, I think you'll hear the sound of my last strand of patience for this whole business snapping in two.

"Ooooh my _god_!" I yell at them, startling them all, "Will you move out of the way, you shallow twats?! You're the ones blocking the road here, not her! Stop being in my way!"

They stare at me, stunned to silence, and I take the opportunity to grab the woman's arm and run for it before they recover their speech capabilities.

We run until we reach my café and I lean over panting, using my knees for support while my shopping bags hang off my wrists.

"Whew! It's been a while since I've had to run that fast!"

"What did you pull me along for?" the woman I grabbed thoughtlessly asks with her arms crossed, not even slightly out of breath despite running.

"Oh, haha, sorry! I guess I got a bit carried away."

"Hmph. I'm leaving then if that's all."

"Hey, hey, whoa! There's no hurry!" I pop up in front of her to prevent her from walking out the front door; she's acting tough, but her eyes are still shiny with unshed tears, and well, that won't do at all! "Here, I have some extra muffins that I've been meaning to get rid of, so won't you stay for a cup of coffee? Or tea, I have that too. Oh, I haven't even introduced myself yet, how rude of me. I'm May. Lily E. May."

"…Boa Marigold…and thanks."

I give her a broad smile and bounce over to the coffee machine.

"That's a pretty name. A marigold is a beautiful flower, ne?"

I keep up the chatter as I put away my purchases and get a plate of muffins ready. Marigold remains silent for the most part; she seems like a stern sort of person. I must sound like an idiot, talking on about whatever comes to mind. Or maybe I just sound like Luffy. Either way, I do manage to get a smile or two out of her by the time she leaves to go about her day, as I'm sure she has other things to do besides listen to a stranger, so it's worth it.

"Come back anytime!" I call as she heads out.

"Thanks, Lily-san," she gives me a small smile.

I think I've made a new friend!

* * *

 **10:00 am**

Luffy still isn't here yet. I hope he didn't starve without me here to cook for him yesterday, that would be really sad.

The bell above the door rings and a tall, elegant-looking woman whose pale legs peeking through the slit in her dress seem to go on for miles and whose chest looks like it is going to pop straight out of that blouse walks in. I mean, _dang_. If I were Sanji, I'd probably be fainting right now, she is gorgeous. But, I'm not, so I'm not.

"Hi, how are you doing this morning?" I ask her, my customary cheerful smile in place.

"Get me a coffee now."

"Yes, ma'am!"

Okay, so her manners are a bit lacking, but maybe she isn't a morning person, so I won't judge. Like Zoro. He's the worst morning person ever. Haha, there was one time—well, maybe I shouldn't talk about that. I shake my head and focus back on my customer.

"So, what is your name?" I try starting up a conversation with the lady, "I'm May."

"Why in the world would I care about your name?" she says rudely, pointing at me and leaning very far back, "But if you don't know who I am, you must be an imbecile!"

' _Holy hell, what is she doing?! She could break her back like that!'_

"Are you okay?!" I ask, genuinely concerned, "You should be careful, you could do some serious damage to your spine!"

"I don't care, just give me my coffee already!"

"Okay, if you're sure…"

As I'm about to hand her the cup of coffee, Chou Chou jumps onto the counter; for such a little dog, he sure can jump high. The lady looks outraged.

"What is this creature doing here?!" she screams; and then, she tries to freaking _kick_ him.

The woman is _crazy_.

Fortunately, I grab him in time to avoid the foot that cracks down on the countertop and creates a large dent and several splinted wood chips to go flying.

"What is wrong with you?!" I yell at her, holding Chou Chou away from her at a safe distance, "Why the hell would you kick a dog?!"

"It doesn't matter: whether I kick a dog or rip off someone's ear because the world will forgive me! Why? Because I'm beautiful, of course!"

Correction: this woman is _seriously_ crazy.

"You may be pretty, but your attitude is ugly, and I don't serve ugly people here, so get out!"

What the heck is wrong with her, she looks like she's going to faint— _oh my god, she just fainted_.

What. The. Hell.

* * *

 **10:45 am**

"May! Food!"

And there's my little bundle of destruction.

So, I ended up having to put Miss Crazy Pants on one of the café's sofas because she is still flat out unconscious. How she didn't wake up when Luffy arrived is a mystery.

"May, there's a strange lady on the couch!" Luffy tells me as he jumps over the counter to attach himself to my waist as I head to the kitchen.

"Yeah, she, uh…needed to take a little nap like Ace does sometimes."

"Oh, I see! Anyway, where were you yesterday? I was worried about you."

After Luffy and I finish eating, he goes over to inspect my customer while I clear the dishes away. He pokes her cheek.

"Luffy, stop that before she wa—"

"Do not touch me, you scum!"

"…-kes up."

The woman kicks Luffy, but being the unnaturally sturdy teen he is, he remains sitting where he is rather than flying off from the impact like a normal person would.

"Ow, that hurt!" Luffy cries, holding his cheek where her foot made contact; aw, he's adorable—wait, she just hurt my little papoose!

Oh, it's go time.

However, before I can even arm myself with one of my trusty phonebooks, her face explodes into a blush. No, seriously, I can see the smoke coming from her face.

Huh.

She's running out the door before I can blink.

"Y-You scum! Remember this!"

And, she's gone so fast she almost flattens the person entering the café.

Luffy looks blankly at me.

"That lady was weird."

"I couldn't agree more, Lu."

Oh look, the person walking in is Law.

"Was that the famous model Boa Hancock running out the door?"

"Um, I don't pay attention to those kinds of things, so I wouldn't know," I answer him.

"Torao!"

Luffy is suddenly in Law's face and he doesn't look too pleased about that.

"Do you know that weird lady? She was really weird. She was sleeping, but then I poked her and then she woke up and kicked me and then her face got all red and then she ran away," the teen bombards him with his usual chatter.

"Fascinating," Law says in a voice that clearly implies 'please-stop-talking-this-instant-and-remove-yourself-from-my-immediate-vicinity', but unfortunately for Law, Luffy is not particularly gifted when it comes to social subtleties and continues to talk.

"Is he always like this?" the doctor cuts over Luffy by placing his hand over the teen's face and pushing him away; doesn't stop Luffy from talking though, he just carries on even though his words are being muffled by Law's tattooed hand.

"You get used to it," I smile at him.

* * *

 **12:00 pm**

' _You have until six today to give me a list of all the people you sent my pictures to or else.'_

' _Okay, okay! Let me just ask around, I can't remember who exactly I gave them out to, but I'm sorry, I swear I'll have the list before then! Please don't do anything!'_

Satisfied, I nod and put down my phone from reading Thatch's text and hand off a cup of coffee with a smile to the customer in front of the counter, a tall, jade-haired woman with a wide face.

"I hope you enjoy it, miss," I tell her.

"I think I will," she laughs, "My little sister told me this place is pretty good, and she doesn't often give her approval, so I had to come check it out."

"Really?" I flush from the compliment, "That's awfully nice. Oh wait, I didn't catch your name!"

"I'm Sandersonia."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Lily E. May."

* * *

 **2:00 pm**

"May!"

I poke my head through the kitchen door to see two women, one with orange hair and the other with blue hair, step into the café, the bell twinkling merrily above the door.

"Hello Nami, Nojiko!" I smile at the sisters and step out, wiping my hands on a towel, soapy because I was washing dishes.

"Why is there a dent in the counter?" Nojiko asks, raising an eyebrow at the spot where the woman from this morning kicked it.

"Some crazy customer," I sigh, coming out to give the girls hugs, "It's been a while, how are you doing? How's the orange farm?"

"Good and good," the older sister laughs and takes a seat at Quintin, "I brought some oranges for you, just like I promised."

"Yes! Nojiko's oranges are the best! Anything I can get you guys?"

"Coffee's good for me," Nami pipes up; her sister nods in agreement.

I pull three cups and fill them, leaving room for cream and set them down on the table.

"So, do tell all that's been happening since we've seen each other! I wish you lived closer instead of outside the city so I could see you more often," I pout; Nojiko lives on a farm on the outskirts of Grand Line that belonged to her's and Nami's adoptive mother and I'm telling you, the best oranges in the world can be found there.

"Sorry, but someone has to look after the farm," she grins.

"Besides, you have my pretty face to keep you company, May," Nami laughs, "I should be more than enough."

"Well, anyway, last week as pretty crazy," Nojiko continues, "There was some awful police officer that was snooping around the groves for whatever reason. But, Nami was visiting that day, and Luffy tagged along, so he was able to take care of him—"

"Ah, what a glorious sight!" The three of us look over at the doorway where Sanji is standing, lost in a cloud of hearts, "Three beautiful blossoms all together, such a wonderful thing to behold!"

Sanji comes up next to Nojiko and tries to take her hand to give it a kiss, but she pinches the skin of his hand with an innocent smile.

"Nice to see you, too, Sanji."

"Nami, my sweet angel, maybe you have a kiss for me?" he asks, moving his cheek to her hopefully.

"Not on your life."

"Aw, in that case…May?"

I blow him a kiss, just to appease his ridiculousness. He swoons and we look at him indifferently before going back to our conversation.

"So, what happened after Luffy kicked the officer's butt?"

* * *

 **6:00 pm**

"…And I guess I broke into some gated community on accident, there were a lot of women there, and they were super angry when they saw me. I kept trying to leave because they attacked me, but I got lost and couldn't find my way out for a few hours. I told Sanji about it and he was super mad, too. He told me I ended up in some really private part of the city called Amazon Lily or something. Anyway, I think I have a stalker, May."

The metal spoon that I'm using to make dinner clatters to the ground at Luffy's last sentence. I accidentally dropped it on his face before it bounced off onto the tiles.

"A stalker? Are you sure? Well, I guess the first thing is to ask if you're okay? When did you notice them? Did they make any contact with you or try to hurt you?" I fire off question after question.

"Yeah, I got a feeling of being watched a couple days ago and it's been going on since then. Whoever it is hasn't done anything yet. And, as if they could ever beat me, I'd send them flying," he smiles in simple-minded but well-placed confidence.

I get distracted by my phone buzzing and see that I have a message from Thatch with a list of names.

"Alright, you can stay here Luffy, until you get the stalker thing sorted out," I say, putting his dinner on a plate for him and grabbing my cardigan and heading to the door.

"Huh? May, aren't you going to eat with me?" Luffy pouts.

"After I get back. I have some business to take care of now I have my hit list."

"Oh, have fun! Take pictures for me, I wanna see."

"Will do, Lu. See you later."

With that, I'm out the door, ready to collect and burn all the photos that Thatch handed out to, what appears to be, a quite extensive list of my friends. And get revenge on the culprit himself. Can't forget that.

I grin to myself and start planning what I'm going to do to all my victims as I walk down the streets of Grand Line City.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Geez, this has to be my latest update yet. Well, we'll get better someday.**

 **SupremeGeneralJoker- I SHALL NOT WHAT? WHY ARE WE YELLING? AHHHHH**

 **Cool Guest *snap snap snap*- Yeah, the challenge isn't going to go away for a long time :D And who knows what Franky does. Only Franky knows what Franky does.**

 **ADDBaby- Oh my-hahahaha! Everyone else in the FFE Shipping Wars can go home! Maytenance, I love it! :D**

 **Mystery guest who has no other identification besides 'guest'- Yes, he is isn't he? Don't worry, he'll get what's coming to him**

 **PortgasDTatze-Aww geez, thanks a bunch! Like I've said, I'll be updating most days (unless I'm late =~=) so don't you worry!**

 **AwkwardPanda89- Sorry! The perfect ship has been found by ADDBaby, and that's May and Quintin! Lol**

 **Thanks for reading everyone, and stick around!**

 **-jj**


	15. Chapter 15: In Which There Are Movies

**Januray 19/Tuesday/7:00 am**

I woke up feeling very refreshed today. I spent the majority of my day off working after the list of people Thatch sent me so that I could reclaim all of the photos he had given out and dealing punishment to those that had been foolish enough to accept them. The only ones I didn't get were Marco, because he insisted his friend forced the photos on him against his will and promised he would help me get back at Thatch (the zoo employees had a lovely surprise at lunch time yesterday when they walked into the staff break room to find Thatch hog-tied on the common table in nothing but his boxers—much clicking and flashing of cameras had ensued) and an eccentric old lady whom Thatch had apparently met while he was developing the photos and in the spur of the moment given some to. So now, there's an unknown old woman running around Grand Line with snapshots of me in a bikini. Great.

I'm not sorry at all that it took Thatch four hours to wiggle himself out of those ropes. Not sorry in the least.

I'm currently entertaining Nami, Nojiko, Robin, and Vivi with pictures I snapped yesterday of all the ways I took revenge while we snack on some popcorn. I have some great additions to my Blackmail folder now. Oh, and why are we eating popcorn so early in the morning? Because it's Popcorn Day, of course! It's a good thing I had the hindsight to go shopping on Sunday and get a lot of bags of the kernels, since Monday was filled with tracking down my photos.

Luffy comes down the stairs, dressed in DOSKO1 PANDA pajama pants and yawning widely. He's staying with me in the meantime, until this whole stalker thing plays out.

I catch Nami sneaking a glimpse at Luffy's exposed torso and grin at her. She catches me catching her and immediately kicks my leg under the table.

"Mayyy, fooood," the teen drawls in an obviously-just-woken-up voice and flops onto the tabletop, ignoring the drinks that he sends nearly tipping and our cries to pick them up before they can.

"Luffy, we've talked about this: no lying down on tables suddenly when there's hot drinks on them," I scold him lightly, but head into the kitchen as he gives me a noncommittal grunt and opts to stay lying face down on the table rather than following me.

Poor kid's tired. We stayed up pretty late (well, of course we did, he's staying with me, so it's a sleepover! You have to stay up late for sleepovers), but since not everyone is used to getting as little sleep as me, it's understandable that he's sleepy.

"Hi, Luffy, nice to see you again," Vivi nods at him, taking a sip of her tea that she saved from being knocked over.

"Vivi! What are you doing here?"

I listen to my friends banter as I whip up the first and most important meal of the day. I come to join them with a large tray full of food and we dig in.

"By the way, since it's Popcorn Day, you know what we should do? Have a movie night! Nothing goes better with popcorn than movies!"

"Ooo, good idea! Where should we meet up though?"

"Well, I'd offer to have it here at the café, but I don't have a TV…."

"Ace n' me have one!" Luffy volunteers, "Let's do it! We'll watch a bunch of action movies!"

"But, I like mystery."

"And I like historical documentaries," Robin chimes in.

"How about this? Everyone brings one movie they like and we'll watch as many as we can," I compromise.

"Deal! See you later, I have to go tell Ace that everyone's coming over."

"I'll bring the popcorn!"

Everyone disperses (except me, obviously) with plans to meet later this evening. I'm looking forward to it.

* * *

 **9:00 am**

I absentmindedly pat Chou Chou's head and watch the morning happenings of Grand Line. There's some odd sort of fellow across the street that has apparently decided to start up a sort of construction project in the empty lot there along with an elderly man. The interesting man has an interesting wardrobe with some…wings on the back of his suit? Anyway, around 8:30, a giant mole poked its head out of the hole they were digging and apparently it's decided to help them in their project. And, I'm pretty sure the guy running down Red Line like a mad man, being chased by large South Birds is the one that got struck by lightning right outside my café a couple of days ago. Huh.

Oh, and that's Marco chasing the birds with a large net, I guess they were from the zoo.

The bell rings and Law walks in, accompanied by Chopper. I beam and run to give the cuddly teen a big hug.

"Chopper! You came to see me!" I laugh as he returns the hug in surprise.

"Well, I actually just tagged along with Mr. Law here," he gestures to the man besides him, "He's the new surgeon at the hospital."

I smile at Law and release Chopper to pat his arm.

"I know, I've met him and we're friends. Luffy's met him, too!"

"Oh, that's nice."

The bell rings and Red enters. Wow, I didn't think I'd ever see him come here willingly. That's a good sign. Or, maybe it's a bad one. Either way, I'd better say hi.

"Hi, Red, haven't seen you for a while! What are you doing here?" I ask, going behind the counter to pour a cup of coffee for Law and some hot cocoa for Chopper because he doesn't like coffee.

"The boys at the shop are demanding coffee and this was the only place I could think of," he growls tiredly; he's wearing a mechanic uniform with the top tied around his waist to show a grease-stained wifebeater and a pair of safety glasses are pushed up on his forehead.

"You don't have a coffee machine?" I ask him incredulously, "What is wrong with you?"

"The one at the shop broke. Just give me some coffee so I can leave, damnit."

"Yeah, give me a sec."

Both Chopper and Law are staring at the new arrival. Chopper seems to realize something.

"Hey! I know you! You're the violent guy May brought in to the hospital," he says.

"Oh, yes, Chopper, Law, this is Red, a friend of mine," I introduce them as I get an airpot ready for Kidd, "Red, you might remember Chopper, he's the one that took care of you, and this is—,"

"Trafalgar," Red spits.

"Eustass-ya."

I look back and forth between the two men that are staring each other down, both wearing challenging smirks that say that each of them would love nothing more than to cut the other's tongue out with a rusty plastic butter knife.

"You two know each other?" I ask, "How?"

"It'd be better not to ask, May-ya."

"Don't worry about it. I can't believe someone like you knows this fucking bastard," Kidd points a thumb at Law, whose smiles twitches in annoyance.

"I happen to like the coffee here. But, May-ya did seem surprised to see you here, so I wonder how you met if you're not a customer?"

"I had to take him to the hospital, earlier this month," I explain.

"Oi, shut up! Don't tell him anything."

"The hospital? Really…what was it? Red-ya?" Law smirks.

Without warning, Red lunges at Law and tries to punch him, but the surgeon smoothly dodges it and Kidd's fist goes straight through the top of the table that Law was standing in front of, splitting it cleanly in half.

That table?

Quintin.

Of course.

Both men go sprawling to the ground, courtesy of two phone books. Good thing Chopper grabbed Law's coffee before he fell. That would've been a mess.

They're both up very quickly though.

"What the fuck was that for?!"

"Get out if you're going to break my stuff! Quintin's now been broken six hundred and thirteen times thanks to you!"

"Who the fuck is Quinti—?!"

"Out! And take your coffee with you!"

I toss the airpot to Red, which he manages to catch and leaves, throwing curses at me as he walks out the door. Law gets to his feet and takes his cup from Chopper.

"Was that necessary?"

"Yes," I huff at him, "You provoked him, and now I need to fix Quintin. And we were doing _so_ good this month. Usually, he gets smashed at least eight times by the end of the first week."

I continue to grumble to myself as the two leave as well and I dial up Iceburg.

"It's Quintin again."

"On our way! Paulie, get the car!"

* * *

 **1:00 pm**

After going through the normal chaotic process of getting Quintin fixed by my friends at Galley-La (which I missed because I fell asleep and took a nap until they finished) and hauling him back to the café where he was reinstated, then serving lunch to the shipwrights/Quintin-repairmen who decided to tag along, I finally have time to sit down with my Sudoku book and fill out puzzles.

I tap my chin with the pen and look out the window, trying to figure out a particularly difficult square, and see that there's water gushing out of the hole in the ground across the street. The giant mole and two men are dancing in victory. Huh.

I wonder what movie I should bring tonight.

* * *

 **4:00 pm**

I stare unblinkingly up at Red, who is standing in front of the counter and wordlessly holding the airpot I gave him this morning, returning my stare.

"Well, take the fucking thing," he finally says.

I take the offered airpot and set it on the counter.

"Sorry for hitting you with a phonebook this morning."  
"Sorry for breaking your table this morning."

We say at the same time. I smile.

"It's okay, I got him fixed up," I nod at Quintin.

"Oh," he looks behind him at the not-so-good-as-new-but-no-longer-broken table, "Well, thanks for the coffee. I sorta left before paying, so here."

He sticks a couple of Beris on the counter and seems ready to leave.

"Thanks. Hey, you should come to movie night tonight!" I tell him.

"What?"

"We're having a movie night because it's Popcorn Day. You should come! And bring Heat, I never got to show him to Luffy. Please?"

"Tch. Whatever. Where is it?"

I scrawl Luffy's address on his hand and send him on his way.

"Make sure to bring a movie!"

* * *

 **6:30 pm**

I locked up the café at a quarter past six and headed over to Luffy and Ace's place, carrying a lot of popcorn and my selected movie. I walk up to the complex and see Ace's motorcycle parked in front; good, that means he's probably home and joining us tonight! His motorcycle is sleek and black with orange and yellow flames painted on them, the kind you would most likely see being ridden by assholes that have ridiculously loud bikes that can wake the entire city when they go by. That's because Ace is _exactly_ that kind of asshole, and his bike _does_ make that much noise. I shake my head and make my way upstairs to knock on their door. I always, always make sure to knock after… _that_ incident.

I hear muffled shouts and hurried footsteps before the door is thrown open and Luffy snatches me into the apartment with a crushing hug.

"May, you're here! Everyone else is ready, except Chopper, he said he's working late but that we can start without him. You brought popcorn, right? Oh good! Let's get started! Let's watch my movie first!"

"Shut up, you idiot, let the ladies pick first!" Sanji throws the remote at Luffy's head, while I go to the kitchen to start microwaving the popcorn.

"I invited someone!" I call over my shoulder as I begin taking out the bags, "I dunno if he's coming, but I hope you don't mind."

"Nope! More the merrier!" Luffy yells back, in the middle of trying to punch Sanji.

"Anything I can do to help?"

I look up at Brook who is leaning on the counter and smile.

"Not unless you can turn into a microwave, but thanks for offering."

"That's too bad. I was wondering if I helped you, you'd show me your panties-!"

I kick him in the shin and put the first bag into the microwave and start it, then go out to the living room to see what everyone's decided on. Looks like Nami got first pick.

"I hope everyone's ready for a late night!" Luffy cheers as the beginning credits start.

"You betcha! I once stayed awake for an entire week with no sleep, so one little movie night is nothing to me," Usopp proclaims.

"I'm good, too, I caught a quick nap today," I say, throwing a blanket next to Ace on the floor to claim a spot when I'm done with the popcorn.

"But, wait, you almost never sleep during the day. Were you sleeping with that weird guy again, May?" Luffy asks.

Oh boy.

"May was sleeping with a weird guy?!" Sanji cries in outrage, "Not my sweet Lily flower, no!"

He, Ace, and Usopp all crowd around me.

"May, you should always report suspicious characters to police, even if they offer you candy," Usopp says seriously.

"Yeah, yeah, you can't let creeps take advantage of you! Do we need to beat someone up?" Ace asks, pounding his fist into the palm of his hand.

"It's fine as long as you consent and use protection," Marco comments in passing, coming out of the kitchen with a newly opened beer in hand to take a seat on the couch.

"No," I sigh in exasperation, and shove them out of my face, "Luffy, you shouldn't say things like that, it causes misunderstandings. Usopp, he's talking about that one hypnotist that made us fall asleep the other day, and _no_ I'm not sleeping with anyone at all, let alone random creeps."

"Good job, May!" Usopp says, and hands me a little button with a picture of a cartoonish-ly creepy man crossed out on it, "You pass the Stranger Danger Safety Course that I teach the kids!"

"Hey, I want a button, too!" Ace says.

"No way, these are for the kids."

"Guys, shut up, the movie is starting!"

"Sorry, Nami!"

I grin and pour the popped corn into a large bowl and bring it out, taking a seat next to Ace and wrapping up in the blanket while everyone fights over the popcorn. Zoro and Sanji start throwing the kernels at each other while Luffy tries to catch them in his mouth as they go flying. Robin takes a seat next to me, calmly avoiding the stray popcorn pieces and I share some of the blanket with her. And then of course, Ace falls on my shoulder, dead asleep, so I have to wrap some of the blanket around him, too.

" _Will everyone just be quiet and enjoy the damn movie?!"_

"Sorry, Nami!"

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Well, we're moving and grooving right along! I hope you guys are enjoying this story (if it can be called that) so far!**

 **Awesome Guest- Wow, dude, your review was lightning fast :D I uploaded that chapter and you were right there! And thank you, Hancock and Co. will be making more appearances in the future**

 **ADDBaby- Heck no, Maytenance is here to stay! The ultimate pairing! The OTP! May and Quintin for life! Haha, just kidding with you. Don't f*ck tables, kids, it's not healthy.**

 **SupremeGeneralJoker- Oooooh yesss! I'm super fired up now! Thank youuuuu!**

 **Snappity snap snap Guest- Hahahaha-we don't speak of the Zoro incident.**

 **CalicoKitty402- Hehe, thanks! I'm really trying my best here to make this story funny, and I suppose I'm succeeding so far! Thanks for the input**

 **Simply a 'Guest' that commented on chapter 14- Love is always a hurricane. And Hancock just got hit in the face with it, haha**

 **Thanks for reading! Stick around for more!**

 **-jj**


	16. Chapter 15-5: Movie Night Bonus

**Author's Corner: Hey-a, everyone! Quick lil' note before we start. I want to thank you all so much for reading. This story has, in my opinion, had such positive feedback from you guys, and it thrills me that you're enjoying it. I was a bit nervous about posting it at first, because it's been in the works…oh, I wanna say since 2013/14-ish and I've been picking it up and putting it down, until I finally said screw it, we're doing this and started typing out this thing like a mad person :D Super big warm thank you's to every single one of you that reviewed, especially the regulars (you know who you are, and you're hecka cool and nice people), everyone that Followed/Faved, or even if you just quietly read and keep coming back for more—you all make my day brighter just knowing that you're here reading what I have to offer and I hope I can keep entertaining you until it ends. Well, I think I've talked long enough, haha.**

 **Thanks for reading and stick around! Now, without further ado, a special omake for Movie Night!**

 **-jj**

* * *

 **January 20/Wednesday/3:00 am**

I unlock the café and walk inside to be greeted by Chou Chou. He trails up the stairs after me as I carry an almost-asleep Luffy on my back and place him in the bed and tuck him in. I have to get started on my baking for the day, but if I finish it up quickly, I might have time to shower and maybe even grab some shut eye before seven.

I smile as I trot back downstairs, tie my hair up more securely, and put on my apron. It was a fun movie night.

* * *

 **January 19/Tuesday/8:00 pm**

Luffy fell asleep halfway through the first movie. 'Ready for a late night' my sweet rear end. Ace fell asleep, too, but well, that's just normal Ace. Anyway, just as the ending credits rolled, there was a knock on the door and Kidd arrived, carrying his strangely blue cat. As Nami put in the next movie, we all fawned over the cat and Red was introduced to the rest of my friends.

"Your hair is red," Zoro notes brilliantly.

"Yeah, well, yours is green," Kidd snaps back at him.

"What movie are we watching next?" asks Franky, coming back from the toilet and noticing Red, "Whoa, hey, your hair is red! Freaky!"

"You're the freak with blue hair," he snarls.

"May, May, look at this!" Ace and Usopp pull me over to the kitchen away from the—what could admittedly be better but also a whole lot worse—meeting, where Heat is sitting on the counter, "This cat is freaky, watch, watch."

Usopp puts a few unpopped kernels in front of the cat and then turns us around so our backs are to it. I hear a few quiet _pops_! and when we look again, four pieces of popcorn are sitting where the kernels were, Heat looking supremely indifferent to us.

"It's a mystery cat!" Ace says excitedly, "It can control fire or something!"

"Now that you mention it, a few small fires started in my home when he was fighting with Chou Chou…" I stare at the odd cat; he stares unblinkingly back at me.

"Luffy, Luffy, come look at this!" Ace shakes his brother awake.

"Huh?! Oh, is the movie over?"

"Yeah, yeah, come and see this cat!"

They repeat the process with Ace's younger brother and his eyes bug out in wonder.

"Whoa! A mystery cat! Can we keep it?"

"No, Lu, it belongs to the guy May invited over."

"Oh. That's too bad. Hey, your hair is red!"

"We've already met, you fucking idiot, you _know_ my hair is red!"

* * *

 **9:30 pm**

During the second movie (some cheesy and poorly dubbed martial arts film that Zoro brought, claiming it's a 'classic') Chopper arrived with a very tired and grouchy-looking Law in tow. Luffy (who had fallen asleep again) woke with a snort and loudly introduced everyone to Law.

"This is Torao!"

"It's Trafalgar."

"Oh, nice to meet you, Torao-san," Nami nods in acknowledgement, her eyes glued to the fight scene going on, Zoro right beside her and equally captivated.

"Torao, are you a doctor like Chopper?"

"It's Trafalgar, and yes, I'm a surgeon."

"Oh, so it's Torao-sensei!"

"No, it's Trafal—"

"Torao, come sit and watch the movie!" I call, patting the seat that my back is against; he shoots me a look.

"May-ya, not you too."

"Yeah, 'Torao', come 'n sit down," Kidd smirks at him.

Law flips him the bird.

"Shut up, 'Red'-ya."

* * *

 **10:15 pm**

The next film we watched was Robin's choice, a historical documentary that was terrifically boring but mercifully short. All of us except Robin, Vivi, and Franky had fallen asleep during it, so it was decided that we would take a short break and then watch the horror movie that Sanji brought in order to get some energy back to the movie-viewing night.

I walk into the kitchen where Sanji, Ace, Brook, Chopper, and Usopp are huddled up in the corner, conspiring in hushed whispers.

"…You see, boys," Sanji says, hushed but loud enough that I can hear him as I get myself a glass of water, "This is a tactic. But not just any old tactic, it's a tactic for love! It goes like this: you watch a scary movie, and the lovely ladies, being scared, cling onto you for comfort and protection! And depending on how bold you are, you can offer to hold their hand or go straight for the kill and wrap your arm around them to let them know that you're there for them! Guaranteed brownie points for you and if you're lucky, a swooning lady in your hands. It's a fool proof plan for picking up women."

"Sanji, you're a genius!" Ace smacks his back.

"B-But, what if we're scared of the movie," Chopper asks quietly.

"Psh, Chopper, being frightened of a dumb movie is so childish," Usopp tell him, even though his legs are shaking.

"There's nothing I wouldn't do for a lady! Love conquers all, so even if you're trembling and on the verge of peeing your pants, you suck it up and act like you're not!" Sanji proclaims passionately, clenching his fist, "Now, let's go woo some gorgeous women!"

"Yeah!"

They cheer, pumped up, and turn around to find me leaning against the sink, watching them silently with an eyebrow raised, sipping my water.

"O-Oh, hi, May. H-How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough. Have fun with the wooing. Do me a favor and leave me out of it."

Nojiko strolls into the kitchen and grabs some orange juice.

"What are you guys talking about?" she asks.

Sanji waves off his friends, as if telling them to watch and learn as he steps up to Nojiko and suavely takes the orange juice from her to pour it into a glass, all smiles.

"Just about how lovely you look tonight, Nojiko-chan~!"

"Okay, well, hurry it up, we're about to start the movie," she says, unfazed.

"Ah, speaking of, do you need someone to sit with during the movie?" Sanji takes her waist and guides her back to the living room, "My arms are wide open for you."

Only I can see Nami's sister pinch Sanji's ear and tug on it hard.

"Wow, Sanji is so smooth when it comes to this!" Chopper marvels.

"Okay, Ace, you're turn," Usopp shoves him, "Show us how it's done."

Ace stumbles a bit, but looking around and finding no other females in the immediate vicinity, zeroes in on me. He smiles that stupid smile of his and approaches, tipping his hat up at what I'm assuming is supposed to be a jaunty angle.

"Hi, May, didn't see you there."

"Yes, yes you did actually."

"You're looking very lovely tonight."

"I told you to leave me out of this."

"Since we're watching a scary movie, do you want me to hold your hand for it?"

"Please stop it."

"I'll take that as a yes."

"No, as a matter of fact—"

"Great!" he beams and without warning picks me up and hoists me over his shoulder like a bag.

He gives a thumbs up to Usopp, Chopper, and Brook.

"Wow, Sanji was right! This _is_ a foolproof plan for picking up girls."

He takes me back to our seat on the ground and settles me next to him, sharing the blanket with his arm around my shoulders. And he falls asleep against me as soon as the title screen pops up.

* * *

 **1:15 am**

After the horror movie, we watched Luffy's. He and Red picked out the same movie funnily enough. I don't remember much of it other than there was a lot of fighting and explosions because I nodded off for a bit, using Robin's lap as a pillow. Since I have less than three more hours until I need to go back to the café, everyone agreed to let me play my movie next, the great classic Casablanca. Luffy and Ace sit on either side of me, the three of us engrossed and both of the boys managing to stay awake for the whole thing. Most everyone else is passed out; Nami, Vivi, and Nojiko are sharing a blanket on the floor, Sanji and Zoro are leaning their heads against each other while sitting with their eyes closed, Red is sprawled over the sofa, Heat curled up on his chest, with his legs over Law, who's propping his head up on the armrest, Robin is curled up in the armchair with Franky in the other, leaving Usopp and Chopper to use each other as pillows. Marco left some time ago because he has to wake up early for something.

"It's been a while since we watched this," Luffy yawns and leans his head on my shoulder.

"Yeah," I say softly.

When the movie is over and all of us are starting to nod off, I stand and start to gather my things. I come back over to Luffy who is leaning on Ace and vice versa.

"C'mon, Lu, gotta get back to the café."

"Nnng, carry me!"

"M'kay, c'mere."

Luffy scrambles onto my back and instantly starts falling asleep. I ruffle Ace's hair and stand.

"Alright, see you around, Ace."

"Night," he mumbles.

"Technically, it's morning," I chuckle quietly.

"It's not morning until I wake up."

"Good logic. Night."

I walk back to the café, the streets of Grand Line quiet save for the occasional passing car and distant siren.


	17. Chapter 16: In Which There Are Hugs

**January 21/Thursday/7:30 am**

"May! Hug!"

Monkey D. Luffy bursts into the café, bright and early, dragging Zoro and Ace behind him. He left earlier this morning, yelling something about a treasure map that Usopp found as he ran out the door, but I guess he's back. I rush out from behind the counter and meet Luffy's hug. We get knocked over a second later when Ace barrels into us.

"Hug pile!"

The two brothers laugh while Zoro stands to the side, probably wondering how he ended up friends with us. It's something I wonder all the time myself. But, he doesn't have the right to say no to a hug today.

"Zoro, get over here and join the hug pile!" I demand.

"Yeah, Zoro! Hug pile, hug pile!" Luffy cheers, reaches over and yanks his friend's ankle so that he falls on top of us.

"Wait, Luffy-!"

Being on the bottom of the pile, I take the brunt of the force and quickly start to run out of air.

"Gah, get off of me you idiots!" Zoro yells as Ace and Luffy attack him with hugs; meanwhile, I'm losing consciousness from lack of air.

"No, it's National Hug Day! There's no escaping the hug!"

"No, seriously get off of me and May, we're crushing her!"

Ah, my vision is starting to go black.

"May? May?! Wait, stay with us May, don't die on us!"

"I see a light at the end of a tunnel…"

"Oh no! Don't go toward that light!"

"CPR, do either of you know CPR?!

"No, but I can try!"

I punch Ace squarely in the jaw as he squeezes my nose and leans in to try and administer mouth-to-mouth.

"Get off me so I can breathe, you idiot."

* * *

 **9:00 am**

Sanji came in this morning while Ace, Luffy, Zoro, and I had our breakfast. I gave him a hug, but when I pulled away, he had a really perverted expression, so I smacked him for whatever he was thinking about that was perverted. Then, he and Zoro got into a tiff over something stupid (I think it had something to do with the treasure map Usopp found and Zoro's terrible sense of direction), gave the café's floor several new holes, so I kicked them out, with Ace and Luffy following shortly when they broke several chairs.

I pile the broken chairs in the corner and add them to the list of things that Franky will need to fix when I get him to come in next. That hole in the counter from the crazy lady is still there.

 _Sigh_.

Why my café?

I turn around to see Mr. Dracule waiting at the counter. I smile and step up to him.

"Hello! How are you today?"

"Fine."

I think he's pretty surprised when I give him a quick hug; he awkwardly pats my head after a moment.

"Happy National Hug Day!" I beam at him and slip behind the counter to get him a cup of coffee, "There's your hug for the day, in case you haven't had one yet or don't get any others."

He just gives me a blank look before taking his coffee and walking away.

"Hmph. And I thought we were friends."

I grumble to myself under my breath as the bell rings and two ladies walk in: I met them a few days ago, Sandersonia and Boa Marigold.

"Hello, welcome!" I greet them both; I wonder why they're together?

"Hello, Lily-san," Marigold nods at me, "We'll take some coffee and muffins."

"Of course! It's wonderful to see you again, and you too, Miss Sandersonia. I didn't know you two knew each other."

"We're sisters," the tall jade-haired woman smiles at me, her long tongue lolling out of her mouth, "Mari's the one who told me about this place."

I hold my cheeks and blush.

"Could it be…? My coffee is…loved? You liked it so much that it touched your heart and you're back for more?" I ask Marigold.

"That's not it, you idiot," she says sternly and reaches over the counter to smack me upside the head.

I just laugh and get two cups for them.

"By the way, did you know that it's National Hug Day?" I ask them as I hand over the coffee.

"No, I didn't even realize there was a day like that," Sandersonia admits.

"Well, now you do! Want a hug?" I hold out my arms to Marigold and smile brightly at her.

"No."

"Aw, c'mon, just a little one?"

"No."

"Oh alright. Here's your muffins. Enjoy!" I pass off the plate and the two take a seat.

Well, Hug Day isn't for everyone I suppose. But that's okay, too. I have Luffy and he gives really nice hugs. I'll make sure to get a lot from him when he gets back.

* * *

 **12:00 pm**

Luffy comes into the café riding a large duck along with Vivi today. They quickly jump off and Luffy explains what's going on as Vivi sends the duck out the door and it runs off.

"Hi, May, sorry, some police lady's chasing us. Hope you don't mind if we hide here for a moment," he's already walking towards the stairs.

"Yeah, sure, but hug first," I demand; he gives me a quick hug and pulls a confused Vivi up the stairs after she gets a hug from me as well.

"What was that about?" I hear her voice float down from the staircase.

"It's Hug Day," Luffy explains bluntly.

"Oh."

The bell above the door rings as woman with pale pink hair steps inside.

"Good day," she says, "Have you seen a young boy and girl pass by here riding on a duck?"

"A duck," I repeat blankly.

"Yes, a duck. A very large one."

"As in a duck."

"Yes."

"The kind that swim in ponds and eat bread crumbs?"

"No, a very large one."

"Oh."

"Well, have you seen one?" she seems to be losing her patience with me.

"Now that you mention it, I think I did see something big and feathery run past the window," I point in the direction that Vivi's duck ran.

"Thank you."

With that, the lady officer is out the door and running down the streets. I watch her go until I can't see her anymore.

"Oh, I forgot to ask if she wanted a hug. And what her name is."

* * *

 **2:00 pm**

"…And you'll never believe what happened next! We got to the top of the really weird mountain-thing in the middle of the street, and we find a whole bunch of treasure chests, but they're all empty. Nami got super mad at Usopp for waking her up at six in the morning on her day off for it. I don't know what she means—even though we didn't find treasure, we still had an adventure, which is even better!"

I listen to Luffy chatter away about his adventures from this morning as he sits at the counter and I play Sudoku. Apparently, the map Usopp found led them all over Grand Line (mostly because Zoro was holding the map and kept getting them lost, which honestly, is something my friends should have realized sooner) and they got into a lot of trouble. But, they managed to get out of everything safely, so it's okay.

"Oi, May!"

Luffy and I look over to the door where Zoro is stepping through, holding a young, pink-haired boy by the scruff of his neck.

"I caught this brat creeping around out back, trying to find a way in," he gives the kid a shake, "What d'you want me to do with him?"

"W-Wait, p-please don't h-hurt m-m-me! I wasn't d-doing anything suspicious, not at all!" he cries, stuttering and trembling horribly.

"Oh, hey, I recognize you," I say, taking a good look at him, "Weren't you here a while ago with some awful lady?"

"U-Uhm, well, about that…" he begins.

"Well, spit it out. Or do you want me to cut you to pieces?" Zoro growls at the poor kid.

"Okay, Zoro, put him down and stop terrorizing him," I tell him, "Wait, what were _you_ doing in the back anyway?"

"I was trying to find the front door. It's not my fault it switched sides."

I sigh and look back to the kid.

"So, why were you trying to get in?"

"M-My employer," he starts again, but is cut off by Luffy.

"That annoying ugly lady?"

"Y-Yeah, that one, well, she was…quite taken with you," he explains.

Luffy blinks, not understanding.

"S-She asked me to follow you for a bit to learn what you like so she can ask you on a date," he elaborates.

Luffy blinks again.

"Whaaaat?" he says after a moment, "You mean, you're the one that's been stalking me? That's funny!"

"I wouldn't go so far as to say stalking…"

"You're a terrible stalker. Aren't you not supposed to get caught? But, Zoro found you, so you must be a bad stalker," Luffy laughs and the kid flushes.

"That's not important! Didn't you hear what I said? Alvida-sama wants to meet you again."

"I don't care about her," Luffy sticks out his tongue in distaste, "She was super annoying, so I don't ever want to see her again."

The kid looks like he's going to have a nervous breakdown.

"B-But then, what am I going to tell Alvida-sama? She'll probably hit me if I tell her what you just said!"

"Tell her you quit and that she's an ugly cow that should do her own dirty work," Luffy says decisively.

"Great, it's decided, go do that, and stop stalking people. It's not a good habit," says Zoro and pushes the kid out the door, seeing this business as done.

"Have fun!" I call as the door closes behind him and turn to Luffy, "Well, I guess that clears up the stalker thing. This means you don't have to stay here anymore."

"Okay, thanks May!"

Good thing, too. I was about to get chains to lock Luffy up at night since he raided the fridge in his sleep, which yes, is entirely possible for him to do. It certainly isn't the first time, and it probably isn't the last.

* * *

 **6:00 pm**

Since Luffy is going to be moving out, we decided to have a last minute going away party for him.

"It's not like he's moving to a different city," Nami sighs as she helps me set up drinks on the counter, "He's literally just going back to his apartment. The one he's _supposed_ to live in."

"Don't be a spoilsport, Nami," I chide her, "When's the last time we had a little party?"

"I suppose it's been a while since it's just been us."

"Exactly. Hug?"

"Sure."

We hug briefly before I go to check on Sanji in the kitchen, who offered to cook for everyone tonight, which I happily agreed to.

"Everything alright in here? Need any help?" I ask.

"Not at all, May-chan! I've got everything handled, so don't you worry at all."

"Okay, have fun. Hey, Franky!" I call to the blue-haired man rummaging through the fridge for a soda, "Can you help me out with Quintin?"

"Sure thing!"

We get out the table extensions from the closet, head to the front to pull Quintin apart, and put in the boards so that all ten of us can fit around him. Once the table cloth is on him, Franky pulls his signature pose.

"Quintin in his final form! Super!"

I laugh and mirror him. It's not often that Quintin is fully transformed like this, so it's worth the small celebration.

"Thanks for your help, Franky," I give him a hug and bounce over to gather up enough chairs for us to sit in, "Zoro, wake up, Sanji's almost done with dinner."

My green-haired friend opens one eye and then closes it again, shrugging, so I simply pull the chair he's sitting in (with him on it) to Quintin. I also drag Brook over in his seat, who is occupied strumming his guitar in a lively tune. The bell rings and Robin walks in, her arms full.

"I brought a game to play after we eat," she says, "Pictionary."

"Perfect!" I take the game from her and set it on one of the tables before giving her a hug which she returns with a soft smile, "Everyone's almost here, we're waiting for Usopp and Chopper. Oh, and Luffy, too.

"Excellent. Do you need any help setting up?"

"No, I think we've mostly got it covered! Pull up a chair and relax."

She nods and takes a seat, where Sanji comes out and brings her a 'special made drink of love.'

It's not long before the last three people burst in through the door.

"Let's get started!" Luffy cheers.

* * *

 **9:00 pm**

"It's a blob! No, some kind of alien? Damnit, marimo, draw things that actually make sense!"

The timer runs out and Zoro slams down the pencil.

"It's a bunny-rabbit, you dumbass curly-brow! Use your eyes!"

"A rabbit?! It looks more like a limp dick, where the hell did you learn to draw?!"

We all laugh as Zoro and Sanji bicker over Zoro's drawing skills as he passes off the pad and pencil to Robin, whose partner is Franky. Previous drawings include Nami's simple but easily identifiable doodles, intricate drawings by Usopp (most are not finished because he ran out of time to complete them), some doodled panties courtesy of Brook, and the terrible, terrible scribbles that Luffy drew. Unfortunately, I'm partnered with the last one. We haven't won a single point.

Franky easily guesses the small ship that Robin draws and then it's mine and Luffy's turn.

"Yosh, we've got this, May!" he grins in determination and picks up the pencil.

The timer starts and he begins drawing something that looks like a person with human legs and a fish's upper half.

"A fishman? A fishperson. No, a fisherman, is that what you're trying to draw?" I guess wildly, "Uh, uh, a pirate flag? What are you drawing now?"

We run out of time and Luffy laughs.

"It's a mermaid, May! How could you not tell?"

"In what world is that a mermaid?" Sanji yells at him, "Mermaids are beautiful creatures, not that hideous mess. Besides, what's this scrawl?"

He point to a little black square Luffy started drawing half way through the minute that has a poorly drawn skull and cross bones in it. And a straw hat.

"A pirate flag," Luffy beams, offering no other explanation.

"Why were you drawing a pirate flag when the word was mermaid?!"

"I got bored, so I drew that instead."

" _That's not how you play the game, idiot!"_

Sanji picks up the drawing to further critique it

"How is this a mermaid?" he sticks the drawing in front of Luffy's face while the teen remains grinning blithely at him, "Mermaids are supposed to be the bottom half fish, top half woman! And gorgeous, like Nami-san."

"Oh! I see!" Luffy snatches the drawing back and makes some quick adjustments, before holding it up proudly, "Like this?"

The strange creature he drew now has a bad imitation of Nami's hair drawn over its head.

"No, not like that, dumbass!"

I laugh at my arguing friends.

"It's okay, Lu, I'm sure we'll get a point next round."

I grin and pass the notepad on as they keep fighting; it's always lively when they're around.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Hehe, dang, I think this chapter takes the cake for latest update yet. Geez, I really need to stay on top of these or they're going to get worse =~= I'm glad you all seemed to like the mini chapter!**

 **Awesome Guest- Well, now you'll have to deal with it, because apparently, you _CAN_**

 **ADDBaby- Lol, that's a great analogy! Love it**

 **SupremeGeneralJoker- Thanks! I don't think I'll do omakes more than once a month, but it's good to know that you liked it :D You can definitely look forward to more in the future**

 **Guest with no other name than 'Guest'- Yeah, didn't you hear Sanji? It's foolproof. Of course it's going to work!**

 **DemonicLightning- Eek, so sorry, I forgot to answer this last time! Thanks for your question, and don't worry, we'll be meeting the admirals soon enough. I can tell you that Akainu will be the first we meet and he will be introduced at before the end of the month :D Oooo, spoilers!**

 **Alright, that's all for now, but stick around!**

 **-jj**


	18. Chapter 17: In Which There Are Frogs

**January 23/Saturday/7:00 am**

You know the expression 'raining cats and dogs?' Well, I've never seen a literal form of that expression, although there was one unusually rainy month in Grand Line last year where several pieces of broken debris from what looked to be an ancient ship rained down from the sky. It is an unusual idiom 'raining cats and dogs', to be sure, but I think that far stranger than raining furry creatures, would be for it to be raining frogs.

Because that's exactly what's happening outside this morning.

It's raining frogs.

This is ridiculous, even for Grand Line.

I stare blankly out the window at the amphibious creatures plummeting to the ground, only to lay prone for a handful of seconds, twitch, shake themselves off, and leap off down Red Line. Where are they even coming from?

The bell jingles merrily and Law comes in, shaking frogs from his umbrella.

"Morning, May-ya. Peculiar weather today."

"Yeah…really peculiar," I echo, still looking out the window.

We stand together watching frogs rain down from the sky for a moment before I turn to him.

"Want some pie?"

* * *

 **7:30 am**

When Luffy bursts into the café with Usopp and Robin trailing after him, Law is on his third slice of pie.

"May, it's raining frogs outside!" he yells cheerfully as he pulls a frog out of his rubber rain boots and lets it go free in the café; Robin pulls one out of her coat's hood and Usopp performs a little jig trying to get one out of his pants.

"Yes, I noticed Luffy. Want some more pie, Torao?"

"I really shouldn't. Please don't put another one in front of me-,"

"What am I talking about, of course you do!" I ignore his words and put another slice of pie in front of him; he grimaces down at the offending food item, probably wondering if he can stomach it to be polite or if he should just get up and walk away, most likely after causing me some kind of bodily harm.

Fortunately, Luffy saves him from having to eat it by scrambling over and stealing the plate before gobbling it down himself. I can see Law subtly breathe a quiet sigh of relief.

"Are we having pie so early in the day? Awesome! Dessert for breakfast!"

"Of course, Luffy, it's National Pie Day," I tell him, setting out plates for him, Robin, and Usopp.

Chou Chou chases one of the frogs that came in with my friends, trying to catch it.

"No, May, it's not Pie Day," Luffy crosses his arms seriously, "It's Measure Your Feet Day! I brought some measuring tape."

"We all agreed last year that Measure Your Feet Day was too stupid, stupid," Usopp smacks him lightly on the head, "Pie Day's much better."

"Measure Your Feet Day isn't stupid!" Luffy protests stubbornly, "How else will you know how big your feet are? Torao, lemme measure your feet."

"Get away from my feet," Law says in an unamused tone, smushing the heel of his boot against Luffy's cheek and pushing him away as the teen tries to take off the doctor's shoes.

"We _did_ agree, Luffy," Robin reminds him with a small smile, "Feet Day is out, Pie Day is in."

"Hmph, _I_ didn't agree."

"Majority rules."

"Fine! This better be some good pie then, May, otherwise I'm gonna be upset. And no cherry pie, that stuff's gross!"

I grin.

"Only the best for my monkey."

Something paws at my pants leg. I look down to see Chou Chou with a frog in his mouth. He gives me a quiet, muffled, but proud little ' _woof_!' and presents it to me. I take it and give his head a pat; the frog lies still so I'm pretty sure it's dead, but then it twitches and jumps out of my hand straight onto Luffy's face.

"Gah! Get it off, get it off!

* * *

 **9:00 am**

"…And if you step into this building on your left, you will find a café with the best coffee in Grand Line."

I look up to see a large blond woman step through the door, a smaller child with the same blond hair and a rabbit by her side, leading a group of less-than-pleased people behind her. Amphibians are still raining down from the heavens outside.

"Hello, Kokoro-san," I say to her and smile at her granddaughter Chimney, "What are you doing here?"

"Good morning, Miss Lily!" Chimney says, reaching up to the counter to pull herself up onto a stool, then picking up the blue rabbit to put him on the chair beside her.

"There's been a delay since because there's a lot of frogs blocking the tracks, so we can't move anywhere. Did you know that it's raining frogs outside?" explains Kokoro; she is the conductor of Grand Line's trolley, the Puffing Tom, along with her granddaughter and their 'cat'.

"I did."

"Well, we can't go anywhere until they get cleared away, so, I figured, 'no use waiting on the train all miserable-like, might as well pop in for some coffee.' Nagaga!" she laughs.

"That's nice. Want some pie?"

"Sure, sure!"

I serve all of the passengers from the Puffing Tom (and manage to convince each of them that they'd like some pie to go with their coffee or tea) and I'm just about to go back to the kitchen to start making more pies when Luffy barges in for the second time today.

"May! We have to catch some frogs!" he yells; he has his yellow raincoat on and is carrying a large butterfly net.

"Sorry, Lu, I can't leave right now, I have customers, and I need to do some baking."

"But, May! Sanji says he'll make something really good for dinner tonight if we catch some frogs!"

I pat his cheek apologetically.

"I'm busy, but I'm sure you can do just fine on your own. Have fun out there!"

"Okay! I'm gonna catch a bunch of 'em!"

He charges out the door, waving his net enthusiastically. I turn to Chimney who's sitting at the counter, playing with Gonbe, the rabbit that thinks it's a cat.

"Hey, wanna help me out? I need to go work in the kitchen, but if you could tell me if anyone comes up to the counter, I'd really appreciate it."

"Sure thing, Miss Lily!"

I smile and slip her a small slice of pie and cup of hot cocoa as thanks and head off to the kitchen where Chou Chou is chasing another frog around.

* * *

 **12:15 pm**

The rain of frogs stopped for a while, allowing the trolley to move along, but soon after, it was back to the unusual phenomenon. I kept an eye on Luffy for a bit when I had time out of the kitchen while he tromped around outside, trying to capture frogs, but then he caught sight of a very big one and ran off in pursuit of it. I haven't seen him since.

The bell rings and I poke my head out to see Shanks standing at the counter.

"Hello, May! Heard that you had some really good pie here today!"

"Of course," I beam and give him a quick hug, "What kind would you like?"

"You can't go wrong with cherry."

"Coming right up."

The bell rings again and this time, Whitebeard stands in the doorway.

"Oyaji!" I run over to give him a hug as well which he returns with a laugh; but wait, Shanks is here right now…uh oh.

"My, my, if it isn't Whitebeard," Shanks smiles with false cordiality, "It's been a while, _Pops_."

"That's Whitebeard, or Mr. Newgate to you, _brat_."

I sigh and get out of their way, back to the kitchen to get some pie; Shanks and Whitebeard have some kind of rivalry, but they refuse to tell me anything about it, and quite honestly, I'm scared to ask. But, things could get messy if I don't intervene (with pie) soon.

"I heard about that little police visit a few weeks ago. Didn't realize that your hearing has gotten so bad that you need to turn the television up so loud, old man."

"I wish my hearing _was_ bad so I didn't have to listen to your damn cheeky mouth, Red-Hair."

"Touchy, touchy. Hearing loss isn't something to be ashamed of, especially considering your age. Tell me, do you also need help going up and down the stairs now?"

"That's it! I'm going to teach you how to respect your elders, you damn brat!"

I rush out with two plates in hand to see both men posed to strike with sparks flying between them; Shanks is smiling cockily while Whitebeard glares at him. I set the pie down quickly.

"Here's some pie! Fresh out of the oven, so come eat it while it's warm," I say in a rush.

With a final hard stare at each other, Shanks and Oyaji take their seats and dig in without another word. I sigh in relief; crisis avoided!

"This pie is tasty, May! It's too bad the boys were all busy and couldn't come over. They would've loved it," compliments Shanks.

"I hate to agree with him, but the pie is good," Whitebeard huffs, "I'll take ten pies to bring back to everyone."

"Well, I'll take twelve," Shanks counters, setting down his fork.

"I'll take fifteen in that case," Whitebeard also sets down his fork, not to be outdone.

"Twenty."

"Twenty five."

"Thirty five."

"Fifty."

"Eighty!"

"Wait, wait!" I take their shoulders and push them away from each other; the sparks are flying again as they glare at the other, "I only have 35 pies that are done right now!"

"Marvelous, I'll take them all," Shanks says immediately.

"Oh no you don't, you red-haired punk. May, my daughter, I'll take them."

"You can each take seventeen," I tell them firmly.

"What about the last one?" Shanks asks and I falter.

"Well, uh, since 35 is an odd number, it can't be divided evenly, so I figured I'd let the two of you take an equal amount and just leave one…"

Shanks looks thoughtfully over at Whitebeard, considering something.

"Fight you for the last one."

"You're on."

Before I know what's happening, they're at each other's throats and Quintin is in pieces.

 _Sonnuva_ —!

* * *

 **4:00 pm**

Shanks and Oyaji managed to break several more tables, one of the windows (Shanks was thrown through it), the counter (Pops was kicked into it), and create a large crack that now splits the entirety of the café's floor in half before I could kick them out with their pies. After drinking several cups of tea, I finally decided it was time to have Franky come back in and fix up the place, as well as repair Quintin for the 614th time.

And it _still_ hasn't stopped raining frogs.

Well, at least Quintin is fixed now, sitting in his regular spot while Franky works on the rest of the broken chairs and tables.

"Franky, you're an absolute life-saver," I sigh tiredly and lean against Quintin, "I wish I stopped them earlier, otherwise you wouldn't need to be here."

"Think nothing of it!" he waves me off, "I don't think there was anything you could've done to prevent it anyway. When those two guys are in the same room, all hell breaks loose."

"True."

The door bursts open and I squeak as a wave of frogs floods into the café, followed by Luffy, Nami, Robin, Zoro, and Sanji.

"Catch that big green one!" Nami yells, pointing to a very large and very green frog indeed that is hopping away towards the kitchen, "It ate my keys!"

"Eek, don't let them into the kitchen!"

"Hurry up, we can't let dinner escape!"

"Zoro, go catch the one that ate Nami-san's keys! We can't disappoint her!"

"Don't tell me what to do, dartboard!"

Robin calmly takes a seat and sets down the bag of frogs she's carrying; Franky joins her and places a few frogs he caught jumping around the café into the net. The three boys all dive for the green frog with battle cries and end up landing on each other.

"No, don't let it get away!"

"Get off of me, seaweed head!"

"Dinner!"

They all scramble to get up but keep falling over each other. However, Chou Chou saves the day by pouncing on the frog (that's almost as big as him) and pinning it to the ground.

"Woo! Go puppy!" Luffy cheers as Nami comes over and takes the frog to put it in the bag.

"Whew! Thank god we caught that!"

"What do you mean 'we'?" Zoro grumbles, "You didn't do anything at all."

"Doesn't matter now!" Luffy smiles brightly, "We have dinner! Food, Sanji, food! Go make it!"

"Yeah, yeah. May-chan, mind if I borrow your kitchen?"

"Go for it."

I take a seat next to Robin and put my head in my hands as Luffy cheers again and trails after Sanji, rattling off ideas for what to do with the frogs; it's been a very strange day.

* * *

 **6:00 pm**

We cleared all the frogs from the café (the ones we weren't going to eat that is), had a few slices of pie, and sat around talking while Sanji prepared dinner and Franky continued to work on repairs. Nami got her keys back (after they were thoroughly, thoroughly washed).

"How did it end up eating your keys again?" I ask her.

"I ran into Luffy while I was pulling them out and I dropped them," she sighs, "That stupid frog was hopping by and ate them up just like that."

"Weird."

"This entire day has been weird."

"You can say that again."

I notice a little green frog wiggling in Zoro's hair and pull it out; we must have missed it because it blended in with his hair. I toss it outside and sit back down when Sanji comes out with plates of frog legs cooked in all sorts of ways.

"Dinner is served!"

We all dig in and as usual, it doesn't take long for my friends' banter to start up.

"But, Sanji, it's important to know how big your feet are!"

"We've already discussed this, dumbass, we're not celebrating that."

"But I have a tape measure and everything!"

"Stop trying to measure my feet, you idiot! Nobody but you is interested in Measure Your Feet Day."

"Let me measure them, damnit!"

"No!"

I smile and help myself to sautéed frog legs. I wonder if you can make a pie with frogs.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Haha, when will I get back to a normal posting time? Who knows? Certainly not me. But, wow my gosh, you guys, I can hardly keep up with your reviews anymore! I don't want to take up too much room answering them here, but I'd like to try to keep answering them all.**

 **ADDBaby- You, my friend, are an absolute riot u I have never seen anyone have a table and human as an OTP, but that makes it all the more awesome lol**

 **SupremeGeneralJoker and Finger-snappy-gun Guest (I think you need a shorter name) and simply Guest (it would be nice to have some way to identify you)- Luffy's drawing skills are legendary. We use the term 'abstract' for people of his talents.**

 **amethystcorvo-san- Mmmthank you! You'll have to wait a bit to see Boa again, but don't you worry, she'll be back! And there's going to be a smackdown between her and-?!**

 **Awesome Guest- Haha, not quite, but you were almost correct!**

 **DemonicLightning- Ah, about the height thing! In this AU, I'm switching canon height up a bit-no one is over two meters tall. It would be a bit difficult to write an even vaguely normal story where some people are twice as tall as an average person :D So, while some of them will be very tall, they won't be inhumanly tall.**

 **Mkay, thanks for reading, stick around for more!**

 **-jj**


	19. Chapter 18: In Which Things Are Blue

**January 25/Monday/7:30 am**

I wake up with a sort of vaguely depressed cloud hanging over me. Huh, I must've left the windows up and a fog got in last night. I grab a fan and clear the mist from my room. Whew, thank goodness that's all cleared up! We can't have anything be depressing today, that just won't do!

I walk down the stairs with a bounce to my step—don't forget to unlock the front door so Luffy doesn't barrel it down (something that has happened before and not just once)—and set the kettle on to start the day. I think I'll make some blueberry muffins, too. Yeah, that sounds good.

The kettle is just starting to whistle when the door crashes open, revealing the D brothers.

"Morning!"

Both of them have identical face-splitting grins plastered on their faces, the kind that you can't help but mirror.

"Are you two ready to have a good day?"

"Hell yeah!" Luffy says, excitement sparkling in his eyes, "Let's hurry up and eat so we can go on an adventure!"

"We'll get there, no need to hurry, Lu," I laugh, "First, you guys wanna help me make some blueberry muffins?"

"Yes!"

"I'll turn on the oven! Where do you keep the matches?"

"Ace, you don't need matches to turn on an oven."

"Yeah, yeah, where're the matches."

"Don't you go starting any fires in my kitchen."

* * *

 **8:45 am**

Luffy ended up stirring the batter a bit too much (and too fiercely—kid made a giant mess all over the floor and counter) but since we're the only ones eating them, it's fine that they're a little tough. Ace had fun lighting the stove for me, but I had to drag him away from it before he started playing with the flames, and then we entertained ourselves by throwing blueberries at each other to see if we could catch them in our mouths as the muffins baked.

I get distracted by the bell ringing and get hit on the forehead with a berry.

"Hey there, Law!" I call as Ace and Luffy get into a minor blueberry-throwing war.

"It's Torao-sensei!" Ace says while pelting Luffy with the little berries.

"Torao!" Luffy cheers, catching the blueberries Ace threw at him in his mouth, "Are you here to celebrate Blue Monday with us?"

"What is Blue Monday?" he asks; I guess he's given up trying to correct Luffy on the pronunciation of his name. Which is just as well because once Luffy gives you a nickname (even if it's unintentional because he can't pronounce the proper name), you're stuck with it for life.

"It's a day we be as happy as we can," I tell him as I duck under the flying blueberries to get Law a cup of coffee.

"Why's that?"

"Because it's Blue Monday!" Ace offers as if that explains everything.

"It's supposedly the most depressing day of the year," I elaborate for him when he raises an eyebrow and I toss a blueberry at Luffy, which he catches; he immediately crashes to the floor having lost his balance lunging for it. Hey, nobody ever said my aim was good…well, except when throwing phonebooks.

"And so…?"

"It was calculated by scientists using some kind of formula. So, in order to prove science wrong, we try to be as cheerful as we can on this day!" I toss a berry at Ace; it sails far above his head, but he still tries to jump for it.

"Sounds more like pseudoscience to me," Law mumbles, accepting his coffee with a nod.

"Who cares?" I smile, "We'll prove _someone_ wrong, and that's all that matters. Want a blueberry muffin?"

"No, I don't like bread."

Luffy and Ace pause in the middle of throwing blueberries at each other and we all look at Law.

"What do you mean? Muffins aren't bread, Torao," Luffy says.

"Yes, actually they are."

"No, muffins are just muffins," Ace laughs, "You're weird."

"Whatever, I'll pass," Law rolls his eyes, "Anyway I have to get going. Enjoy your…Blue Monday, or something."

With a small nod and parting smirk, Law goes on his way.

"Who doesn't like bread?" Luffy asks as he sticks his tongue out at the door closing behind Law, "What a weirdo."

"Oh well. You guys ready to go now that we've had breakfast?"

"Yeah!"

"Let's go!"

* * *

 **10:00 am**

We're stopped at Buggy's for the moment to take shelter from the rainstorm that took us by surprise as we wandered around Grand Line. We should have been prepared for this, since we're used to the city's chaotic weather, but we aren't; I only have my thin grey cardigan (which is currently drying off over a portable space heater from the appliances section), Luffy his favorite red sleeveless shirt, and Ace in typical Ace-fashion is shirtless. It'll be a miracle if we don't catch colds. But, despite the weather, we're not letting it dampen out moods!

"May, May, check this out! Cabaji just showed me how to juggle fire sticks!" Ace says, twirling flaming sticks around with ease; Cabaji is another worker here. He used to work at a circus before he started here—actually, I'm pretty sure all of the employees did, including Buggy himself. They certainly look like they did.

Luffy and I clap appreciatively at Ace's display.

"Oi, what are you brats doing here?!" We turn around to find Buggy storming down the aisle; wow, he looks really mad, "You're going to burn down the store. And, if you're not here to buy anything, get out!"

"Aw, but Buggy, you wouldn't kick us out into the rain would you?" I ask.

"You bet your ass I would. Scram!"

Laughing, the three of us dash out of the store—not before I grab my cardigan though—while Buggy chases us out wielding a broom.

"Stupid weather," Ace shakes a fist at the gloomy clouds, "Go rain somewhere else today!"

"Yeah, don't rain on our parade, rain!" Luffy orders the sky.

As if it heard the brothers, the clouds instantly fade away to show a beautiful sunny sky. We take a moment to look up at the warming sun.

"Yeah, you tell 'em, boys!" I slap Ace and Luffy on the back and we continue our venture through the city.

* * *

 **12:00 pm**

We step into the Baratie to visit Sanji for lunch. We _could_ go back to the café, but I don't really feel like it. So, the Baratie it is.

Luffy, Ace, and I spent the better part of the morning roaming the streets of Grand Line, taking in the sights, and then getting chased by an angry Officer Smoker because Luffy was climbing on a statue of some very notable person, and that's apparently a bad thing for whatever reason. Fortunately, we gave him the slip when Ace caught sight of Marco passing by in his car and waved him down so he could give us a ride. It was a bit awkward, since his car only seats two, so I had to sit on Ace while Luffy simply perched on the boot and laughed at Smoker while holding onto his hat as we drove away.

Anyway, now that things have calmed down, we're enjoying a nice meal at the Baratie. Sanji has been kind enough to make our meals himself and then take a break from work to join us.

"I hope you've had a good Blue Monday so far," I tell him as Ace and Luffy inhale their food, "It would be awful to be sad today."

"I couldn't possibly be sad now that my sweet Lily flower is here," Sanji croons, smacking Luffy's hand sharply when he tries to steal some of his food.

"Oi, eggplant! Stop drooling over women and get back to work," Sanji's uncle, Zeff the owner and head chef of Baratie pokes his head through the double doors leading to the kitchen and yells to his nephew.

"Tch, sorry May-chan, looks like the shitty geezer won't leave me alone. Please, don't mind me and enjoy your meal. I will think of you every second we're apart," he says and kisses my hand.

"Try not to fight with everyone back there too much," I smile at him.

He holds a hand over his heart and floats away to the kitchens. Hardly a minute passes before there's yelling that sounds like an argument has broken out and someone is kicked through the double doors. The rest of the restaurant's customers look over eagerly; the Baratie is known as a rather…exciting restaurant. If you come at the right time (which could be about every half hour with the way things are here), you could witness a fight; whether it's between the workers themselves or bad guests, it's guaranteed to be a show.

It looks like the one who was kicked out the doors is Sanji, though he immediately gets back up to face two other chefs, Patty and Carne, whom he seems to always get into squabbles with.

"You're a hundred years too early to take on us, you shitty cook!" Patty yells at him.

"Please, the two of you combined aren't even on my level," Sanji scoffs at them, "In terms of both fighting and cooking."

"What'd you say, you little brat?!"

With that, the three are fighting each other with the diners looking on and cheering.

"Things are always so lively here," Luffy says, throwing an occasional encouraging shout towards Sanji every once in a while, "I like it, shishishi!"

We finish up eating, pay the bill, and then continue on our adventures.

* * *

 **3:00 pm**

After somehow ending up in the middle of a street side dance contest, with Luffy accidentally destroying the huge disco ball that was the centerpiece, and getting chased by an angry mob, we ran into Vivi who was accompanied by a tall man with luxurious blond curls. She helped us get away in her personal limo.

Luffy is bouncing up and down the seats; at least Ace is sitting more calmly, but I'm excited too. It's my first time in a limo.

"It's funny that I ran into you," Vivi smiles at Luffy as he slides down one of the long seats, "I was actually on my way to the café to give you an invitation. My father is sponsoring a new onsen that's opening across the street from your place, and I was wondering if you and everyone would like to come see it before the grand opening. Free of charge, of course."

"Wow, is that what they were building?" I ask, "If so, that was really quick. It was just a few days ago that they struck water."

"So, is that a yes?"

"Of course, it's an onsen trip!" Luffy says and bounces across the seats to give Vivi a hug, "Thanks, Vivi!"

"Don't mention it! I told the owners that we'd be over at six, I'll see you then."

Vivi drops us off at the café and the brothers split with a promise to meet back here in a couple of hours, leaving me to tell my friends about the generous invite. It should be fun.

* * *

 **6:00 pm**

Right on time, everyone shows up at my café, where we agreed to meet before we head over across the street: Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Nojiko, Usopp, Sanji, Chopper, Robin, Franky, Brook, Ace, surprisingly enough, Law, and even more surprising, Kidd. When Vivi arrives with the man from earlier, Igaram, she is greeted with much thanks and cheering.

"Well, let's head over," she directs us, "I'm sure they're waiting for us."

Luffy, easily the most excited, loops his arm around hers and leads the rest of us across the street, whooping all the way (and laughing at the cars blaring their horns at us for jaywalking). We're greeted by the man with wings on the back of his shirt and interestingly styled hair.

"Hello, Gedatsu-san," Vivi greets him, "These people are all with me. We'd like to try the facilities."

"Mm, hhmhmm mm."

We stare curiously at him; his lips appear to be stuck together as he tries to speak.

"You need to open your mouth, remember?" another man, older with a scruffy beard, tells him.

"Hello, Mr. Goro," Vivi smiles at him, "These are my friends here."

"Ah, yes, welcome, welcome," Mr. Goro gives her a quick hug, "Welcome to Ukkari Hot Springs. I'm most grateful to your father for helping us build it. We could not have done it without him."

"You deserved it," she grins, "I hope it's as good as you say it is."

"Yes, of course! Now if you'll follow me, I'll show you to the springs."

He leads us down the halls until we reach two doors.

"Men on the left, ladies on the right. The spring is a shared one, but don't worry, there is a bamboo division between them."

"Thank you!"

"Woo! Hot spring!"

Luffy and Usopp charge into the door.

"Idiots are going to slip and crack their heads open," Nami grumbles as she enters the door for us and the rest of the women trail in behind her.

"Make sure to wash very well before you go in!" I call to the boys that haven't gone through their door, "Wouldn't want to get the spring dirty before it's even open to the public."

"Here, Vivi, want me to wash your back?"

"That'd be lovely, Nami, thank you."

After we all wash thoroughly, we slip into the warm waters outside.

"Ooo, this is heavenly," Nojiko sighs in content.

We hear laughing and a loud splash from the other side of the partition. Sounds like Luffy jumped in, but I wouldn't expect any less from him.

"Now, now, you shouldn't splash in a hot spring," we hear Igaram scold him, "They're meant to be appreciated quietly."

"I snuck some sake in with me, who wants some?" Zoro says.

"You shouldn't drink in an onsen!" Igaram sounds thunderstruck.

Us girls laugh and I decide to climb up the division after wrapping a towel around myself to peek over it. Whew! They're all wearing towels still. Well, except Luffy, but he's splashing around in the water so I can't see anything anyway. Wow, Law has some awesome tattoo work, I didn't realize they stretched all the way across his chest and back.

"Zoro! Toss me a cup!" I call over to him.

I hold myself up by the armpits and catch the small cup he throws at me along with the bottle of sake. I pour myself a small amount and toss the bottle back down.

"Thanks!"

"May…you aren't naked are you?" he asks, peering at my bare shoulders.

"Of course I am, it's an onsen, stupid," I stick my tongue out at them as Sanji and Brook faint with nosebleeds; Zoro and Ace look close to following, "Thanks for the sake!"

"This is hardly proper conduct!" Igaram is blushing, whether from embarrassment or anger is unclear, "Stay on your side of the partition please!"

"Haha, sure, sure," I jump back down and slip back into the water, sake cup safely in hand, "Oh this really is quite nice. Thank you for inviting us, Vivi."

"You're welcome. I'm glad everyone could come. It wouldn't be any fun to be here by myself!"

"Yes, it is best to be at an onsen with others, isn't it?" Robin says.

We all agree and sink further into the water, sighing.

Nami is staring critically at my chest.

"May, did you get bigger again?"

I stare down.

"Huh, maybe. My bras have been feeling a tad snug lately. I thought they were done growing though."

We suddenly notice that the other side has gotten very quiet. The five of us look up at the divider to see Luffy, Ace, Sanji, Chopper, Brook, and Igaram peering down at us. Without a word, Nami stands up and flashes them.

"10000 Hits each," she winks as they fall back into their side of the spring with blood gushing from their noses.

The water turns a bit red.

"Women are magical," I hear Sanji say, completely serious.

"Shut up, pervert cook," Zoro says and there's a dull _smack!_

"Oi, don't hit me!"

It's not long before it sounds like a full on battle is happening on the boys' side. We just ignore it and enjoy our time in the water.

"Well, what do you say?" Robin asks, "Has it been a good Blue Monday?"

A loud splash followed by yells and laughter interrupts me before I can speak and I grin.

"Yeah, pretty good as far as I'm concerned."

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Updating on time? Haha, what's that? Welp, here we are anyway. Oh, I made a slight mistake on the last chapter-it was supposed to happen on Saturday, but I accidentally put Friday. I went back and fixed it, but if there was any confusion, I hope this clears it up. Mmhey! Got a question for you guys! The month anniversary of Cafe on the Corner is coming up soon-ish (whoa, time flies, doesn't it?) and I'd like to do a special chapter/omake thing for it. What would you guys like to see? Any thoughts? Lemme know!**

 **Finger-Snappy-Gun (that shall be now known as FSG for brevity) Guest- Thanks, and sorry you had to wait =~= I'm trying stay on top of updates, but man, it is hard. Imma keep trying though! *clenches fist in determination!***

 **ADDBaby- Lol, you keep doing what you do, it certainly brings a smile to my face :D And I agree, Franky needs a leg day**

 **SupremeGeneralJoker- Eh?! Really?! That sounds really scary. I like snakes (their my faves as a matter of fact) but I don't think I'd want them raining form the sky -**

 **Awesome Guest- Thanks! I try my best ^-^**

 **Alright, that's all for now, stick around for more!**

 **-jj**


	20. Chapter 19: In Which A Boat Sinks

**January 27/Wednesday/7:45 am**

Ah, it's a wonderful morning! The sun is shining, the rich, warm smell of chocolate fills the air, and Luffy is holding onto my leg as I make him, Ace, Marco, and me breakfast.

"And did you know that there's a new park-thing that's being made?" Luffy chatters as I plate the food, "Apparently it's called 'Skypiea' and it's a park in the sky! I think someone said it's held up by lots and lots of hot air balloons or something, but that's impossible to hold up something that big, don't you think May? It must be a mystery park! We should go see it sometime when it's finished! By the way, we should have curry for dinner."

"Sure thing, Lu," I agree absently, but make a note that I should get ingredients for dinner tonight and not be surprised if someday soon Luffy bursts into the café and drags me to this 'floating park' without warning.

I bring over breakfast to the boys (dragging Luffy with me) and we eat. As a special treat, I put very small pieces of chocolate cake on the side, not enough that our appetites are ruined for the rest of the day, but just enough as a promise for more to come. As we're finishing up, the bell jingles and Law walks in.

"Morning, Law! Want some cake with your coffee today? It's really yummy! Oh wait, unless you're going to try and tell me cake is bread too," I laugh lightly.

He gives me a blank stare.

I blink back at him.

"You must be joking," I say flatly.

"I would think that you would know that it _is_ categorized as bread since you are a trained baker, May-ya."

"B-But, cake is cake! How can you not like cake?!" I splutter.

"I don't like bread."

"Not even, like, banana bread or something?"

"No."

"Waffles?"

"Nope."

"Scones?"

"No."

"And even cake?!"

"Not a fan."

"You heathen!" Ace cries in despair, "What kind of life do you live without breads, even the ones that shouldn't even be considered bread? Dear lord, your diet must be so boring!"

"My diet is perfectly fine, thank you very much."

"Wait, so what about things like crepes?" I ask as I hand over a cup of coffee to him.

"Never really tried one, but I don't think I'd like it."

I nod seriously.

"Make sure you come here on the first of February. You might change your mind," I tell him.

"What happens on the first of February? Another silly holiday?" he raises an eyebrow.

"It'll be a surprise," Marco says, patting the doctor's shoulder, "But you don't want to miss it. You're in for a treat."

"Hey, Torao, did you know that they're making a floating park?"

The bell rings again as Luffy bombards Law with his talking; it's Kidd with Killer on his heels.

"Ah, hey Red!" Ace calls in welcome, "What's up, my friend?"

"When the hell did we become friends?"

"Once you see another man's junk, there's no way a friendship can't form," Ace gives him a thumbs up; I get the feeling that Killer is giving Kidd a funny look through his mask, which he returns with a glare that screams 'shut up'.

"Anyway, Red, what are you doing here?" I ask him and give a little wave to Killer. He returns it briefly with a small wave of his own.

"This guy was saying some shit about Chocolate Day or whatever and wouldn't shut up until we came here," Kidd points a thumb at the silent man beside him.

I give the masked man an evaluating once over. And then hold out my hand.

"We should be friends. You'd fit right in," I smile as he shakes my proffered hand and look over at Kidd, "You came to the right place. I already have a bunch of cakes made for Chocolate Cake Day. What kind d'you want? I've got German Chocolate, Black Forest, Chocolate Ganache, Devil's Food, and a few more."

"Anything is fine," Killer finally speaks, pulling Luffy's attention away from talking Law's ear off.

"Hey, you have a mask! Cool! Can I touch it?"

Without waiting for permission, Luffy pokes one of his fingers through a hole. It's quickly swatted away.

"Lu, don't go sticking your finger in there. It's very rude," I tell him, getting a finished cake and wrapping it in a box.

"Oh, sorry mister. Hey! Did you know that they're building a floating park?!"

* * *

 **10:30 am**

This morning brought a freak snow storm followed by a heavy downpour of rain that lasted about an hour and had people wading through the streets. I saw some people paddling small boats on the sidewalk as well as kayaks, someone even floated by on a trashcan lid and I think there was a jet ski at some point. There were a few chunks of ice in the flood as well from the snow earlier that had solidified, and I saw a miniature reenactment of the Titanic (minus the death) when one of the small boats carrying a couple hit one and sunk. It was very dramatic and touching. I shed a few tears.

The water is starting to drain when Makino comes in.

"Hello, May! A lot of rain this morning!" she shakes off her shoes on the doormat before she steps further in.

"Yeah, but that's Grand Line for you."

"True, true. Hey, did you see that someone is finally taking the building next to yours?"

"Really? I didn't notice. It's been empty for a while," I tilt my head to the side as I hand Makino a cup of her favorite tea which she takes gratefully.

"Yeah, I saw a few boxes through the window and a sign saying 'Spiders Café Coming Soon'."

"Another café, huh," I muse, "Well, I hope they can stay open more than a couple days this time. It seems like no one ever makes it that long on this street."

"You aren't worried about competition?" Makino's brow creases in worry; I grin at her.

"I would be if it were a competition. It's not like I can decide if people will like my place better than the new one. If they're better, they're simply better."

"Ah, I should have known you'd say that," Makino laughs, "Why did I even worry in the first place?"

"'Cause you love me~!" I sing and she pushes my arm playfully, "Want some cake?"

"Not now, but I might come back later today. Can't miss Chocolate Cake Day, now can I?"

"Absolutely not!"

The door opens and Robin walks in, carrying a book and wiping her feet on the mat.

"Morning," she nods at us.

"Hi, Robin! Coffee?"

"Yes, please."

Robin and Makino both take a seat at the counter while I get a cup for Robin.

"What's new?" I ask her.

"Hm, there's a new art shop opening up next to the book store. And there's an antique arms store opening near Zoro's dojo. Let's see, a sporting goods store is coming soon next to Usopp's day care and a ballet studio is going to be set up in the lot across from the Baratie."

Have I mentioned that Robin knows just about everything? Well, this is a perfect example. I wouldn't be surprised if she knew everything that is going on at any given time in Grand Line City.

"That's a lot of new businesses," Makino notes, "How wonderful! There'll be a lot of new faces around."

"Maybe," Robin says mysteriously before she glances up at me, "I also saw another café will be opening next to you."

"Well, good luck to all of them," I say, "They'll need it."

"Indeed."

"So, Robin, want some cake?"

* * *

 **12:20 pm**

Luffy comes in for lunch with no Ace in tow, but Brook and Chopper are with him today.

"Curry, May! We should have curry," Luffy says, smacking the counter excitedly.

"We'll have it for dinner, promise. How are things with you all?" I ask Chopper and Brook as I head to the kitchen.

"Very good!" Brook says, his usual happy self, "My apologies for not seeing you more often, this new year has been very busy! We've had several concerts, and then someone approached us saying that he wants to get some recordings."

"That's wonderful!"

Brook is the oldest in mine and Luffy's main group of friends; he's a very accomplished and popular musician and practically a celebrity here in Grand Line. It's understandable that he would be busy with his work.

"Things at Thousand Sunny are also going well," Chopper chips in, "Torao-sensei has been getting on with everyone, even Doc Trenu. Well, I mean, she's trying to kill him fewer times a day than when he first arrived. And we have some new engineers named Shachi and Penguin. They're friends of Law's."

"Eh?! There's a penguin working at the hospital?!" Luffy exclaims, "How mysterious!"

"No, no, there's a man named Penguin. It's his name."

"Wow, a mystery penguin that is an engineer. I wanna see him!"

"Did you even hear me, Luffy?"

"Yohoho, an engineering penguin! That must be quite a sight indeed!"

"N-No, he's not a penguin."

I giggle at my friends. They can be so silly.

* * *

 **3:00 pm**

I delivered a white chocolate and green tea cake across the street to Ukkari Hot Spring earlier, as a welcome gift and in honor of their grand opening. I found out that Mr. Goro is the brother of one of Vivi's father's closest friends, explaining why he played a big hand in helping to build the onsen. Gedatsu, the other man who helps run the onsen, is a bit unusual, but he seems like an alright sort of fellow.

It's a very hot afternoon, so hot that some unfortunate birds are dropping from the sky, roasted. It's positively sweltering in the kitchen, but I need to make more cakes. It's been a pleasantly busy day for the café.

"Hmm, where did I put that measuring spoon, measuring spoon," I mumble to myself, trying to locate the elusive utensil as I wipe some sweat from my brow, something shiny catches my eye on top of the fridge; huh, how did it get up there?

I try to find a stepping stool, but I can't find that either. Shoot, I'm not tall enough to reach the top of the fridge, dangit I'm not _that_ short either! I kick the fridge for being so stupidly tall and stub my toe.

"Ow! Stupid fridge, stupid measuring spoon, stupid missing stepping stool…"

The front door bangs open and Ace is running through the kitchen.

"Hey there, can't talk, may have set a bush on fire and it accidentally caught the building next to it on fire because of this heat, that one policeman is on my tail, I'm hiding upstairs for a bit. 'Kay, thanks!" he says in a rush and sprints up the stairs.

I sigh and give up trying to jump for the measuring spoon on top of the fridge as the door bangs open again.

"Excuse me! Did you see a man come running through here?!" it's Officer Smoker, I seem to be seeing him around quite a bit.

"Sorry, no I haven't," I tell him and he grits his teeth; I look curiously at him and his very thick, fur-lined coat which I'm pretty sure isn't standard police attire, "Aren't you burning up in that heavy jacket?"

"God damnit, that damn orange-hatted bastard got away," he grinds out, "And, don't worry about me. I'm fine."

I give him a critical once over. I wonder if he can help me out.

"Hey, Officer Smoker."

"Yes?"

"You're a pretty tall guy."

"…Yes?" he says warily.

"Care to help a girl out and get something down for me? Since you don't seem to be doing anything right now," I ask casually.

He sighs in resignation at my hopeful expression.

"Of course, ma'am."

Yes! That measuring spoon is mine!

"Please, call me May. Also, do you want some cake? It's really yummy."

* * *

 **6:45 pm**

I closed up and made a quick shopping trip to Buggy's and I'm finally making the long awaited curry for Luffy and Ace, who has stuck around ever since he was chased in by Smoker. Makino said she was coming over, so that's one more, and Shanks grabbed the phone from her before I hung up and loudly announced that he was coming too, so that makes five for dinner and naturally, dessert.

I hear a crash from the front of house where Luffy and Ace are probably wrestling.

"If you guys broke Quintin, I'm gonna kick your asses," I yell at them as I stir the curry.

"S'all good, May! Nothing's broken…well, okay, maybe a few mugs. Sorry!" Ace yells back.

I groan and check the time; the rice should almost be done and Makino and Shanks should be here soon.

"Someone go set Quintin, please, as long he's still in one piece."

"I've got it, May!"

Luffy roots around in one of the drawers for silverware and reaches for the plates, but I catch his hand; silverware I can trust my little papoose with, but I learned long, long ago to never let him touch plates. Not after I had to replace all of the ones I originally had.

"It's okay, I'll bring the plates over after I fix them up," I tell him, "Don't forget the napkins."

"Okay!"

I give the curry a final stir, tap the spoon on the side of the pot to get the sauce off, and start serving it up. The bell rings, signaling that the Shanks and Makino have arrived.

"Shanks!"

"Hey bud!"

I bring out all five plates and set them on Quintin.

"Thanks for having us, May," Makino comes up, "Mind if I grab a glass of water?"

"Sure, Makino."

"Grab me a beer, will you?" Shanks grins at her; I roll my eyes.

"They're in the fridge," I tell Makino, who smiles at my exasperation.

"Thanks."

"Oo, curry tonight? Looks good and smells great!" the red hair rubs his mismatched hands and takes a seat with Luffy leaping into the chair next to him; the teen really does dote on him.

"Yup, and chocolate cake for dessert, of course," I let myself grin and finish setting up the napkins and forks that Luffy dropped when Shanks stepped in the door to attack the man with a hug.

"Wonderful. Ah, thank you, Makino, you're an angel," he accepts the bottle of beer she hands him as she takes her seat with her water.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's eat!" Luffy says.

We don't need any more invitation to dig in. The men all go back for seconds, and even thirds, and of course Luffy helps himself to a fourth serving as we enjoy each other's company.

"By the way, Benn and I might need someone to be a getaway driver tomorrow, May. Care to volunteer?"

"Hell no."

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Okay, okay, we're a bit better on timing today. Still didn't update as soon as I would've liked, but we'll get there. Still haven't had any suggestions on what I should write for the special month anniversary of this story. I would like to hear what ideas you guys have or what you'd like to see, so don't hold back please!**

 **CalicoKitty402- Aw, that's okay! It's good enough for me that people are reading my story, but I'm so happy that you took your time to review 3**

 **Star Anon- Oh! I think there's some confusion here! Haha, I'm asking what you guys would like _me_ to write as a special chapter, but if you'd like to write something for me...wow, I'd be super flattered! ^/^**

 **FSG Guest- Thanks, it's just so much easier to write that! Lol, I had a lot of fun writing the hot spring scene, glad you liked it!**

 **ADDBaby- Not as beautiful as youuuuu! Thanks :D**

 **SupremeGeneralJoker- Dang, that's some crazy stuff! I wonder how they got up in the sky though?**

 **Guest simply known as 'Guest'- Yes! Muffins are technically a bread! So are a lot of things, actually. I didn't know if Law has an aversion to all things bread or just what you normally think of as bread (like the kind that comes in loaves) but I thought it would be funny for him to dislike all things bread, haha**

 **Mkay, I'm done for now, but stick around!**

 **-jj**


	21. Chapter 20: In Which There Is A Kazoo

**January 28/Thursday/7:00 am**

I almost squirt Mr. Dracule with a water spray bottle when I look up and he's there in front of the counter today. The man seriously needs to make some more noise when he comes in, he always scares the living daylights out of me.

"Is there a reason for the spray bottle, Miss Lily?" he asks with a pointed eyebrow raised at my weapon that's directed at his face.

"Yes, there is."

I don't say anything else or offer an explanation though. Eventually, he decides that it's not worth knowing and takes his coffee to his table. I think I'll have to give that table a name, because it must be very special if he sits at it every time he comes here. Maybe Susan would be a good name…Hm.

As I contemplate what would be a good table name, the bell rings and in walks Law, followed by two men who are both wearing hats.

"Morning, May-ya," he says, "Three coffees."

"Sure! Who are your friends?" I ask peering curiously at the men Law came in with; one is wearing sunglasses (even though he's indoors) and a teal and pink hat, the other has a hat that reads 'Penguin'…I wonder…

"This is Shachi, this is Penguin," Law waves a lazy hand at each of the men respectively, "They're colleagues of mine that have started working at the Thousand Sunny."

" _Colleagues_ , he says!" the man named Shachi smacks Law's shoulder, "As if we haven't known each other since we were kiddos."

"The audacity!" Penguin agrees, turning to me and pointing a thumb at Law, "This guy and us go way back. But nevermind him; it's nice to meet you. Law didn't tell us he was friends with such a pretty lady."

"Yeah, Law, you've been holding out hot chicks on us? That's hardly what real friends do!" Shachi smacks his shoulder again.

"I didn't think May-ya wanted the attention of perverted creeps," Law tells him flatly.

"I bet he wanted her all to himself," Penguin whispers to Shachi behind their friend's back as Law takes the coffee I hand him.

"I wouldn't put it past him, the selfish bastard."

Law hits both of them on the head with a swipe of his hand.

"Shut up and drink your coffee."

"Oh, no! I think he heard us!"

I laugh at them; they remind me a lot of my own friends.

The door bursts open and my favorite monkey races into the café. Oh no, he has one draped around his neck, even though we all agreed.

"May! Food!"

He puts it up to his lips, but before he can start blowing, I whip out the spray bottle and squirt him.

"No Luffy! We banned Kazoo Day after last year's disaster. No kazoos!"

The teen squeaks at the water that hits him, but then pouts.

"Not even a little bit, May? Last year wasn't _so_ bad…was it?"

"Yes, it was. No kazoos."

"Just a little?" he pleads.

God damnit, he's pulling the puppy eyes on me. Well, _shoot_ , I can't ever say no to him when he does that.

"…One time and then you're done," I tell him sternly.

"Yes!" Luffy takes a deep breath, but before he blows, he notices Law and his friends, "Oh, hey Torao! It's National Kazoo Day."

"So I gathered."

"Luffy, these are Law's friends, Penguin and Shachi. Chopper told us about them, remember?"

"What?! The Mystery Penguin?!" Luffy turns, looking every which way as if trying to find the penguin, "Where? I wanna meet the engineering penguin!"

"No, no, Luffy, his name is Penguin, he's not a bird," I point at the hatted man who gives Luffy a little wave.

"Whaaat? You're not a real penguin?" Luffy huffs, "Man, that's lame….Are you sure you're not a penguin in disguise?"

"Hahaha, pretty sure."

I let out a discreet sigh of relief. Luffy is distracted asking the two men a torrent of questions and has forgotten about the kazoo hanging off of his neck. Hopefully, if we're lucky, he'll forget about it all day.

* * *

 **10:00 am**

I smack Ace's hand as he tries to light one of my phonebooks on fire. He came in after Luffy left, so I had to make breakfast all over again for him. Since it's a pretty slow morning, I'm sitting at the counter with him, filling out Sudoku puzzles while he chatters on aimlessly. It really is surprising that the he and Luffy aren't actually brothers, what with how similar the two of them are to each other.

"Dang, I was hoping you wouldn't notice," he smiles, but goes back to what he was talking about, "Anyway, I'd like to go with you on Sunday, since it's been a while since I've seen her, and she told me I need to come around more often. Poor kid probably gets lonely out there. But, that's what makes me so kind and amazing, going out of my way to visit her!"

"Yeah, yeah, if you want," I say vaguely, focused on filling out the numbers in the little squares, "Nami's offered to lend me her car, but she'll be busy so I need someone to drive me anyway."

"Wow, May, it's like you don't even care if I come with you or not," he teases.

I look up at him and smile.

"Oh, sorry. Is this better? 'Oh please—uhm, how did you phrase it—Kind and Amazing Ace-sama, will you grace me with your presence this Sunday?'"

"Much better," he nods in approval, "It's a date then."

We laugh as the door opens and Marigold and her sister step inside.

"Hello, Lily-san. I have a quick question: have you seen this person?" Marigold holds out a piece of paper with a pencil drawing of someone.

I inspect it closely. It looks…vaguely familiar. It's a sketch of someone with a straw hat, dark hair, a scar under his eye, and large bishounen eyes. Roses and sparkles are drawn all around him. Huh, it's on the tip of my tongue who this looks like, but I can't seem to recall…those roses and sparkles are really distracting.

"Ace, does this look like anyone we know?" I show him the drawing and he looks at it curiously.

"Huh, yeah it kinda does, but I can't remember who."

"We're looking for him and our sister said she met him here. Have you seen anyone like this?" Sandersonia says.

 _'Hm I don't think I know anyone that's surrounded by roses and sparkles like this.'_

"No, sorry, I don't think so."

"Alright, well, if you could keep an eye for anyone similar to this, could you let us know? Here's my number," Marigold hands me a little slip of paper with digits scrawled on it.

"Sure thing! Would you ladies like some coffee before you go back to your search?"

"Yes, please."

I step around the counter as Ace takes the drawing to scrutinize it more, scrunching up his face in concentration.

"Aha! I know a guy who looks like this! He always seems to be surrounded by roses and sparkles. His name is Cavendish. Oh wait, no, he has blond hair and no scars. Dang, I thought I recognized who this was, but I guess not."

* * *

 **1:00 pm**

I'm on my way to Buggy's for an emergency shopping trip, because when I opened the fridge to make lunch for Luffy and Ace, I found that most of my ingredients were gone. I'm usually pretty good at keeping on top of groceries, but I guess it slipped my mind. So, I closed the café for a while and headed down the Red Line to the Muggy Mall. I wrap my cardigan around me a bit more snugly against the cold wind that's picked up.

"Oi, May!"

Oh no. That sounds like Shanks.

"Incoming!"

I turn around just as a silicon arm slams into my midsection and hoists me over their shoulder. Damnit, why can't my friends ever just meet me normally?

"What are you doing?" I shout at Shanks, who's booking it down the street with Benn at his heels.

"Running away! I may or may not have pissed someone off a bit, so we gotta make a break for it! You're up for driving again, right?"

" _No, no I am not!"_

"Great! You've got the wheel, May!"

The red head shoves me into the driver's seat and at least this time I don't need Benn to push my foot down to get going. We shoot down the street, and I get a very strong sense of déjà vu. It gets even stronger when Shanks slaps the baseball cap onto my head and it slips over my eyes

"You're doing great, May," Benn tells me, calm as ever with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth; he empties some ashes into the car's ashtray, "Normally, you would look over your shoulder when pulling out into traffic from a parking space and turn on your signal, but since we're being chased, you did the right thing to ignore either of those."

"Really? That's wonderful to hear, really great. Fantastic," I say tightly with a note of hysteria in my voice; this is almost worse than the first time I got roped into driving.

"Take a left here," Benn points out the street and I take a sharp turn.

"Pretty good control of the wheel," he notes, impressed, "All things considered, that is."

"'All things considered' being that this is my second time driving?"

"Yup."

"Dahaha, yeah, you're awesome, May! I don't know why we didn't get you driving sooner!" Shanks says from the backseat, peering out the rear window, "Oh, by the way, you might want to step on it. Looks like we have company."

I glance into the mirror and nearly scream when I see a giant truck with a weird smiley face that looks like it's surrounded by flower petals resting on the front of it bearing down on us from behind.

"In normal situations, when someone is tailgating you, you should slow down so they get the idea to pass you, if there is a passing lane. If not, you shouldn't feel pressured to speed up because of them. But, since this is a chase, floor it," Benn says.

"I'm so glad you're telling me this," I say through gritted teeth as I slam my foot on the gas pedal and we shoot ahead, "If I ever get a chance to drive a car normally I'll be sure to remember that. Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"I can't tell if you're being serious or not."

"I'm always serious."

* * *

 **3:00 pm**

After somehow shaking the people pursuing Shanks and Benn and driving safely to Shanks home, I fell to the ground with shaky knees and nearly started hyperventilating. Why, oh why, were cars ever invented? People weren't meant to go such frightening speeds. Shanks simply laughed and patted my back until I didn't feel so lightheaded that I could stand.

"You were amazing, May! Couple more times, and I might just have to hire you as our official getaway driver."

They were kind enough to drop me off back at the café. I walk to the kitchen to grab myself a glass of water to calm down, only to notice that the fridge door is hanging loosely open.

I yank it open to find that Luffy (most likely assisted by Ace) has raided what was left of my food. All that's left is a can of spiced peaches. Why is it always the peaches?

I cover my eyes with one hand and slowly close the fridge. Count to ten. Look dismally down at Chou Chou. He blinks back at me.

"If you ever see Luffy or Ace near the fridge again, can you stop them?"

He gives me a quiet _woof!_ and I take that as a yes.

I leave the closed sign hanging in the window and head upstairs. I need to lie down for a bit.

* * *

 **6:00 pm**

"Are you sure she won't be mad? She was really mad last time I cleared the fridge. But, Ace! I was really hungry and our fridge was empty, so where else was I supposed to go."

"It's okay, Luffy, I think she was just mad because she didn't have tea yet when she found you. And don't worry, I'm sure she'll forgive us with this. If she even notices it in the first place!"

The two brothers sneak into the backdoor of the café owned by their friend, each carrying many large grocery bags. They felt bad about eating all of her food when she hadn't come back from Buggy's quickly and had decided to go shopping for her to pay her back. It wasn't that they were scared of what would happen to them when they saw her next, psh, of course not, it wasn't that at all.

"Okay, the lights aren't on, so she's probably upstairs," Ace whispers to his brother, "Remember, the mat right inside the door gets caught easily, there's a tile missing a few steps in, so don't trip on it, and then it's a clear path to the fridge."

"Yeah, I could walk there in my sleep!"

They sneak through the back quietly, stepping over the missing tile and making their way safely to the fridge.

"Alright, we're clear! Good job," Ace smacks Luffy's back and reaches for the handle, "Now all we have to do is put the food in and sneak out! She'll never notice a thing!"

He gets the door open a crack when something clamps down on his ankle.

"YOW!"

* * *

I wake up with a start when I hear a loud yell from downstairs. Rushing up and out of my bed where I fell asleep, I race downstairs to see what the commotion is about.

I hit the bottom step and come up short on a strange scene. Ace is running around with Chou Chou clamped onto the seat of his pants by his teeth, with Luffy chasing the two of them with a broom, trying to get the little white dog off his brother.

I see the fridge slightly open yet again, grocery bags (with some of their contents spilling onto the floor as if they were dropped) scattered around, and piece it all together.

Aw, these loveable dorks.

I laugh loudly to let them know I'm here, and Ace screeches to a halt with his heels digging into the ground, then gets knocked over when Luffy runs into him and they go down sprawling to the floor in a tangle of arms, legs, small dogs, and brooms.

"You know, you guys could've just woken me up and apologized," I tell them, still giggling at their ridiculousness and step into the kitchen.

"But, May, we didn't want you to know that we ate all your food," Luffy says, as I pick up Chou Chou off of Ace (who has a piece of Ace's pants hanging out of his mouth; I look at Ace's behind and indeed, I can see heart-patterned boxers peeking out of the hole).

"Of course I would notice if my fridge went from nothing to suddenly overflowing with meat," I laugh again as I take a look inside the grocery bags; they bought nothing but meat.

"Oh, Ace said you wouldn't notice."

"Luffy! Shut up, don't tell her!"

"It's okay, guys. Thanks for going shopping for me," I hug them both at once, "Since you went through so much trouble and I didn't get to make you lunch, I guess I should make dinner, huh?"

"Yeah!"

I let go of them and lean down to pry the material out of Chou Chou's mouth.

"Thanks Chou Chou," I pat his head, "You did a great job."

He huffs a small bark and trots off the stand in front of the fridge.

I pass Ace the missing piece of his shorts.

"I think you lost something."

He takes the scrap in confusion, but then, feels around and his eyes widen.

"AH! The stupid mutt tore my shorts! Don't look, don't look!"

* * *

 **11:59 pm**

After dinner, the three of us sat on the sofa upstairs and watched some movies. I'm about to nod off, but then, Luffy (whom I using as a pillow) sits up straight.

"Ah! I almost forgot!"

He reaches for the thing hanging around his neck and takes a deep breath.

"Wait, Luffy, no—!"

Too late.

Ace and I plug our ears as Luffy blows into the kazoo.

It's several hours later when car alarms in a mile radius finally stop going off.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Okay, the late update isn't my fault this time! My computer was being an absolute butt and wasn't working properly, but I think everything's solved for now! Still waiting on suggestions for the special month milestone chapter! Also, YO! How do you like the story art?! Made it myself, thought it was about time to give it a cover!**

 **FSG Guest- Yeah, it's super good (both chocolate cake and curry!) Highly recommend both :D *finger-snappy-guns at you as I back out of the room***

 **SupremeGeneralJoker- I agree, scary! I wonder if they survived falling down though? Obviously the frogs in my story did, 'cause screw logic, but I wonder if the was live snakes or if they died when they fell. Still scary either way, I think!**

 **Star Anon- Ooooo, I'm all excited now! Can't wait to see it! You'll definitely have to show it to me when you're done, 'kay?**

 **amethystcorvo- It's a mysteryyyyyy *does mysterious wiggle dance* Myysteryyy!**

 **Thanks for reading, stick around!**

 **-jj**


	22. Chapter 21: In Which There's A New Table

**January 30/Saturday/7:00 am**

I yawn tiredly as I flip the sign in the window to 'OPEN' today. I didn't get much sleep—well, I never get much sleep. I got less sleep than usual last night. Or, technically this morning. Whatever. The point is, I'm tired. And there's now a hole in my roof.

Well, at least the café isn't damaged, but I'll definitely need to have Franky or someone swing by today and fix it, preferably before any of Grand Line's crazy weather makes it into my home. I set up Chou Chou's food and water bowls, balance a treat on his nose before letting him eat it, and step behind the counter, ready to face another day.

Predictably, Luffy is the first one to come in today, followed by Ace and Zoro.

"May!"

Great, it looks like he and Zoro are still having a hissy fit with each other, if Luffy's lack of food in his greeting is anything to go by. See, they're the reason there's a lovely hole in my ceiling upstairs now. And that both of my lamps, sofa, and coffee table are broken, too. At the godforsaken hour of two in the morning, these two crashed through the roof and proceeded to tear up the place, only stopping when I ran downstairs, grabbed my phonebooks, and raced back up to knock them out. It's not often that my friends fight, so I thought something serious was going on, but when I asked, the idiots told me that the other was being stupid and gave no other explanation. They were both kicked out immediately and I tried to go back to sleep, but it was freezing with the hole in my roof, so I couldn't.

I arm myself with a phonebook and eye the two suspiciously.

"You guys aren't gonna start a fight again, right? You already tore up my apartment, so if you're even thinking about starting one here, you two are out," I tell Luffy and Zoro.

"That dumbass isn't worth fighting," Zoro scoffs as he takes a seat at the counter, "Even trying to beat some sense into him is useless."

"I don't feel like fighting a stupid Three Sword," Luffy huffs, taking the seat next to his friend, "Even if he is ungrateful to people who give us food. Punks like him can't learn manners anyway, so it's pointless to fight with him."

Zoro slams his hand on the counter.

"Are you an idiot?! They clearly told you that they were trying to kidnap us! And where do you get off, acting all high and mighty, you have the worst manners in the world, _and Three Sword isn't even an insult!_ "

Ace puts a hand on each of their shoulders and pushes them back down in their seats as they growl at each other.

"They were at some restaurant called Whiskey Peak last night, and I guess the owner's gave them a free meal and let them stay in the VIP room, but they had some kind of plan to kidnap these two," Ace explains, keeping his hands firmly on his brother's and friend's shoulders to keep them at bay while they pinch each other's cheeks and kick each other around him, "Or so they've told me."

"Luffy, why are you upset with Zoro?" I ask him as the teen shoves his foot in Zoro's gut.

"Shtupid Three Shword beat ub the beoble that gabe us food!" Luffy growls, having difficulty talking because Zoro has his cheek pinched between his fingers and is pulling at it; wow, Luffy's cheeks can really stretch far.

"And this idiot doesn't realize that they were trying to hurt us! They gave us dinner because they were trying to lower our guards! And then he went and attacked _me_ for attacking them."

"You don't attack people who give you food from the kindness of their hearts!"

"They didn't do it from the kindness of their hearts!"

Ace looks like he's having some difficulty holding them back.

"Okay, okay, settle down," I say, "Luffy, it doesn't sound like those were good people. I think Zoro was probably right this one time."

"Oh, really? Well, in that case, it's fine," Luffy smiles and settles back onto his stool, "I'm hungry, May, you should make breakfast!"

"Oi, what d'you mean 'this one time', May? May? What did you mean?!"

* * *

 **9:10 am**

Mr. Dracule is at his table drinking his coffee when the door bursts open and Shanks strolls in.

"Good morning, May! A cup of your finest coffee and a little something to go on the side, please."

"Sure thing, Shanks," I smile at his cheerful mood; it's always nice when people are enthusiastic in the morning.

"Heard from Ace that Lu and Zoro kicked up quite the storm last night," he says as I get him his coffee, "Those kiddos sure do know how to wake up the whole city, huh? I was wondering what all the crashes I heard were."

"Yeah, they broke through my roof this morning."

"Dahaha! Such a lively bunch."

I see some movement out of the corner of my eye, and I look over to see Mr. Dracule holding up his newspaper to cover his face from view. Huh, that's a bit strange, I wonder why he would do that.

"Need any more coffee over there, Mr. Dracule?" I call over to him; he freezes, as does Shanks before he turns around to face the man sitting at his table.

"Hawky?" a large grin breaks across the red head's face as he bounces over to the table and snatches the paper from him, "It _is_ you! What're you doing here, Hawky? I feel like you've been avoiding me recently, but here you are, hahaha!"

I get a sharp, accusing look from Mr. Dracule; whoops, maybe he didn't want Shanks to know he was here. I send him a sheepish smile and mouth ' _Sorry'_.

"I'm drinking coffee here," he tells Shanks shortly, "And I _was_ reading the news, which I'd like to continue doing."

"Such a joker, as always," Shanks laughs, holding the paper away from him when he reaches out to take it back, "Who cares about newspapers when you have my stimulating company? May! You didn't tell me Hawky ever came here!"

"I didn't know you knew him," I say.

"Know Hawky? Of course I do! This guy and I have been friends for a long time now."

"Acquaintances, at best," I hear Mr. Dracule say lowly.

"Hawky?" I raise an eyebrow at the nickname.

"Yeah, it's a nickname for his nickname. Dracule 'Hawkeyes' Mihawk."

I think about the name; I suppose it suits him. I can't help the smile that slips onto my face at the idea that just came to mind. Yes, that's a good name for the table. I'll have to tell him.

"Since you seem intent on keeping me from reading in peace, I'm leaving," Hawky stands with an irritated sigh.

"Aw, but I just got here," Shanks whines; sometimes it's hard to believe that he's almost forty and not four, "Hey, May, can I get that coffee to go? I'll walk with you, Hawky!"

I quickly pour Shanks' coffee into a disposable cup and put a scone into a bag for him.

"Thanks," he takes his coffee and looks back to Mr. Dracule; he's walking out the door, "Huh? Hey, wait up! Haha, why are you walking so fast?"

The bell jingles merrily as the door closes behind him, chasing after Mr. Dracule, who seems to be walking as fast as he can without actually running.

Those two seem like good friends.

* * *

 **12:00 pm**

I've closed up the café to make lunch for Luffy and Iceburg and myself. Iceburg was kind enough to come over himself and fix up my apartment, because Franky is busy with something today, even though he's usually the busiest at Galley-La being the president and all.

"I don't feel like working there today," he told me, completely serious, when I asked him about his responsibilities, "Anyway, look at this frog I have recently adopted. His name is Yokozuna."

Luffy isn't hanging off me at the moment; he's sitting next to Iceburg, being entertained by stories of his and Franky's adventures when they were younger.

"Nma, and then my stupid little brother goes and gets himself arrested for causing an explosion with his silly dramatic effects. Our father had to go bail him out."

"Shishishi, he must've been dumb then," Luffy laughs, "Ace causes explosions all the time, but he hasn't gotten caught yet."

I bring out lunch and set it down; Luffy cheers and starts eating.

"How are things coming along upstairs?" I ask Iceburg.

"Pretty well. It's not too bad, surprisingly enough. I should be done before six."

"That's great!"

We talk pleasantly about the latest crazy weather, whether or not Yokozuna is a good name, what antics our friends have been up to lately, and more. When the door slams open, we all look over to see who burst in when the sign clearly says 'CLOSED'.

"Everybody freeze! My name is Higuma and I'm robbing this place—!"

A phonebook hits him in the face, I'm pretty sure I hear his nose give an unpleasant _crunch!_ , and he goes down, unconscious.

"Man, what the heck is with this guy? He keeps on popping up."

"How rude to interrupt our meal."

"Ne, can I go draw on his face, May?"

"Go for it, Lu."

* * *

 **3:00 pm**

Smoker showed up to pick up Higuma (with several new works of art courtesy of Luffy adorning his face, though the officer didn't comment on them) after I called the police. I sent him on his way with some coffee and a scone for his hard work (it totally wasn't a distraction while Luffy slipped out the back door, what are you talking about?) Iceburg tells me he's nearly finished fixing everything, ahead of schedule.

I look up from my puzzle, tapping the pen on my chin, and let out a noise of surprise when I see Mr. Dracule sitting at his table.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

He glances up from his newspaper and turns the page.

"Never finished reading this," he says shortly.

"Oh."

I put down the pen and pour two cups of coffee before bringing them over to the table. He looks up at me.

"So, why do you always sit at Nester?" I ask him, taking a seat across from him.

"What?"

"What."

"What is 'Nester'?" he asks.

I smile.

"I decided that's this table's name," I tell him, "It's a bit like Chester, but a nest. So, Nester."

He stares blankly at me.

"Because you're a hawk," I explain, "Hawk, bird, nest. Nester. His name is Nester."

"Do you name all of you tables?" he asks, unamused.

"Well, there's Quintin, but he's special. And now there's Nester! So, is there a reason you always sit here?"

"It's the farthest away from the counter," he says.

It takes me a while to figure out what he means.

"Hmph, rude," I huff at him, "I'm not that annoying, am I?"

"I'm not serious, this is simply the best window seat."

It's very hard to see, but there's the smallest of smiles on his face.

"Whoa, you _do_ have a sense of humor," I exclaim, pointing at him, "I thought you were a lost cause, thank goodness!"

His face goes back to his usual serious expression.

"Why do people think I don't?"

"I dunno, maybe because you look really grumpy all the time. It's amazing that you don't have wrinkles from frowning constantly."

"Thanks so much."

"Anytime."

* * *

 **6:00 pm**

I flip the sign in the window and start putting chairs up on tables. I pick up the broom to give the floor a sweep, but shriek as someone flies through the door and crashes into Quintin. Luffy picks up his hat from the table debris and sets it firmly on his head.

"Ah, that was a good punch, Zoro!" he calls to the person stepping through the remains of the door, "But, you're going to have to try harder than that!"

"Please, I'm just getting warmed up," Zoro cracks his knuckles and smirks.

" _Oi_!" I yell at them, "You just destroyed Quintin. That's 615th time now! What are you doing?!"

"Fighting," Luffy says simply.

"Fighting," Zoro echoes.

" _Why_?"

"'Cause we're bored."

I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

"Get out of my café, you idiots!"

Zoro and Luffy both fall to the floor, knocked out by phonebooks.

Thank god Iceburg is still here. He'll be able to fix Quintin and the door.

* * *

 **7:00 pm**

After Zoro and Luffy woke up and Iceburg had finished working, I made them dinner. I can't turn the boys away for dinner after all, even if they did destroy Quintin. And my home. And my roof. And front door.

At least I stopped them before they got _really_ crazy. I've seen enough buildings destroyed by them in the time I've known them. We sit around Nester today, to celebrate his naming and to make it official. Somehow, a lot of my friends ended up coming for dinner as well. I don't know, I didn't even tell them, they just showed up. And so, here we sit, eleven of us crowded around this small table.

"Woo! This means we have someone new in the family!" Luffy says around a mouthful of food, Sanji smacks him for his poor manners.

"But, May, what about Quintin? Is he not the main table anymore?" Chopper asks.

"No, no, he's always the main table! No one can replace him. He just has a little brother now, that hopefully won't get destroyed nearly as much."

"Oh, whoops, May, I accidentally got my knife stuck in him," Usopp says.

"Ah! I accidentally kicked the leg and now it's broken!" Brook catches the table as it begins to tilt.

"There's too much food on the table, the top is starting to break from the weight!" cries Franky.

"Save the food!" that's Luffy, of course.

Well, that didn't last long. But, at least Nester is officially part of the family now.

I laugh as Iceburg and Franky build temporary supports for the table to keep it upright and we pull over Quintin to spread out to so that Nester doesn't have all the weight. Even when Luffy and Chopper jump up on the tables to dance and accidentally break both of them (bringing Quintin's count to 616). I can forgive their destructive tendencies once in a while. They wouldn't be my friends any other way.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! I feel like I've completely given up on updating on time. Welp, I'll try tomorrow to get the chapter up, I'm sorry. Still waiting to hear some omake ideas, we're running out of time for me to hear them!**

 **FSG Guest- Don't you know? Benn is always serious. If he's not calm, who is?! Haha, well, now you know why Mihawk always sits there, though it's not the bet reason :) *Finger snaps in Z formation***

 **ADDBaby- Oh my god! Hahahaha, you are so funny, you and your table ships! How do you like the name I gave Quintin's baby brother?**

 **AwkwardPanda89- Yes, there'll definitely be more *wink, wink***

 **SupremeGeneralJoker- Well, at least frogs are pretty harmless and not much cause for mass hysteria of they fall from the sky :D Aren't Grand Line citizens so lucky?**

 **Awesome Guest- Really?! Omg, that's awesome! (lol) Are you in the habit of celebrating weird holidays often?**

 **Alright, well, I'll be back tomorrow. Stick around!**

 **-jj**


	23. Chapter 22: In Which I Go To A Farm

**Pre-Author's Corner: Hey-a, quick lil' note. Omg! Star Captain Leigh wrote a oneshot for this story, you should def check it out! And thanks, so much my little star!**

* * *

 **January 31/Sunday/7:00 am**

As usual, Luffy arrives at the café bright and early with a loud crash; Ace and Nami are trailing behind him.

"May! Food!"

My dumpling jumps the counter and gives me a crushing hug before latching himself onto my waist.

I laugh at his energy and smile up at Nami and Ace.

"Thanks for coming, Nami, like always. Don't know what I would do without you, "I tell her.

"Probably die," she says offhandedly, "Anyway, you have everything?"

"Journal, receipts, all there. And your favorite tea is right by the coffee pot, kettle is on the stove, help yourself to any treats leftover from yesterday, and there's a few more oranges from your sister in the fridge."

"Good," Nami sits down, getting comfortable, and pulls the stack of receipts I have saved up for this month and a journal that I keep of all the money transactions I make towards her. She's flips open her laptop and gets down to work immediately.

"Maaaay! I'm starving!" Luffy tugs at my cardigan to get my attention.

"Right, right, I'm going," I tell him, "Any special requests?"

"Meat!"

"Of course you say that," I laugh, stepping into the kitchen.

I whip up breakfast for the four of us, but while the bacon is sizzling, I hear the bell ring. I poke my head through the door to see Law.

"Morning! Want some breakfast?"

"Alright, May-ya."

"Coffee's behind the counter, help yourself."

I quickly fix food for the newcomer and bring out the plates. Luffy and Ace have the largest plates and eat the fastest, of course.

"Are you closed today?" Law asks, watching mildly appalled as the brothers eat.

"Yup! I have to go do some shopping, so I'll be closed all day. But, Nami'll be here, so if you want some more coffee later today, feel free to help yourself."

He raises an eyebrow but doesn't ask any more questions.

I finish my twenty-second cup of tea for the morning as Ace finishes his meal (well, unless you count the bits of eggs hanging off of his face from when he fell asleep in his food) and he grins.

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah, let me get some muffins for her and then we'll be off," I trot back to the kitchen and pull a box of muffins out of the fridge, give a final pat to Chou Chou, and come back out.

"Be careful with my car, you hear?" Nami is pinching Ace's cheek, "If I see even one little tiny scratch on her, your ass is going to be a hundred times worse."

"You know me, Nami, careful is my middle name," Ace gives her a thumbs up and confident smile.

"I beg to differ," she snorts, "Have fun, you two. Tell her I said hi."

"Will do, Nami! And thanks again, you're the best," I give her and Luffy a quick hug, pat Law's hat, and then have to get pulled away by Ace when I keep on petting it.

"It really _is_ soft and fluffy!"

* * *

 **8:00 am**

"…And then Pops came downstairs and kicked these guys' asses with his eyes closed. We found out later that he was sleep walking, and didn't wake up the entire time."

"Really?" I laugh, "I wouldn't put it past Oyaji to do something like that. He's invincible even in his sleep!"

Ace laughs as well, but I stare at him curiously when he goes silent. He's staring at something through the window. I follow his line of sight and see a head of white hair disappearing into a police station.

"Ace. No," I say firmly.

"Just a little bit of fun?"

"No."

"Quick lil' detour."

"Don't you dare stop the car."

"Won't be gone but a second."

"Don't you dare park and unbuckle you seatbelt."

"Great, glad you're on board with this."

"Don't you dare get out of the car and follow him."

"You're the best, May. See ya in a sec."

" _Ace_!"

I leap out of the car and try to keep up with the man with the obnoxiously bright cowboy hat sprinting into the police station after Officer Smoker, but the bugger's too fast. By the time I enter the doors, he's vanished from sight. Oh dear, this screams multiple levels of trouble.

I stop short before the desk; huh, I've never been inside a police station before, this is new. I look around, a bit curious, but mostly lost, and extremely nervous that any second there's going to be an explosion.

The lady behind the desk glances up at me and jumps up.

"Oh! You must be the new clerk!" she says, "You're a couple minutes late, oh dear, Mr. Akainu won't be too happy, he requires everyone to be on time, even early. Well, you're here now, best get you to work. I'll show you around. Welcome to the Grand Line Police Headquarters-1, also known as G-1."

"Uhh, I think there's been a—"

"Commissioners Akainu, Aokiji, and Sengoku all work here, although usually only one of them is around. Mr. Akainu is here today, hopefully he won't give you such a hard time for being late," she cuts me off and rushes through a quick tour of the headquarters, "Front desk, break room and kitchens are through the door there, toilets, file room, the cells are down below, but you won't ever need to be there, and the offices are upstairs. Any questions?"

"Er—"

"Great. Now, first things first, take these reports up to Mr. Akainu, he wanted to review them, and introduce yourself. Try not to faint, please, I don't want to carry _another_ person out of there."

With that, she dumps a load of papers into my arms and shoves my back towards the stairs. I turn back to tell her that this has been a giant mistake, but I see she has earphones in and is playing a game on her computer.

With nothing else to do, I sigh and head up the stairs. Offices, she said? Hopefully they have name plaques so I could find my way to—what was it?—Mr. Akainu's office. I whistle lowly as I pass open doors. These are some nice-looking offices. Aha! There's one that reads 'Comm. Akainu'. Great, now I'll just drop off these papers, find Ace somehow, and get the hell out of here. I balance the heavy papers in one arm with some struggle and knock on the door.

"Come in," a voice barks.

I enter the room and timidly nod my head.

"Hello, uhm, sir, I was told to bring you these by the lady at the front desk."

"It's about time," the man behind the desk snaps, his nose buried in a file, "New clerk, right? You're ten minutes late. If you intend to work here, I demand punctuality."

"Sorry," I say sheepishly as I place the papers on his rigidly organized desk.

"I expect you to make up for that lost time, so you better work twice as hard today. But, first, get me some coffee."

"Of course, sir."

"Well, don't just stand there, snap to it!"

I squeak and scurry out of the room. _Goodness_ , what a scary man! I better get him some coffee and fast. I make my way quickly to the kitchens, they should have some coffee, right? Was it a left down this hallway? Yes! There it is.

"Hello!" I call through the window opening into the kitchen, "Anyone there? I need some coffee, please."

"May?"

Someone pops up in front of the window. It's Ace wearing a chef's outfit with the buttons undone in the front so it's hanging open. His hat is missing.

"Ace?! What the hell are you doing here?!"

"I'm putting hot sauce in all of the food," he grins, "I couldn't find Smokie to mess with him, so obviously this is the next best option."

"Obviously," I agree calmly with him before I explode, "Like hell! We need to get out of here right now!"

"Relax, May, everything's fine. Wait, didn't you say you needed coffee?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, some scary big rank police guy wants me to get him some coffee. Is there any ready?"

"No, I don't think so," Ace looks around the kitchen.

"Okay, I'll make a quick pot, deliver it to him, and then we're _out_ of here, understand?"

"Yeah, yeah, I've already doctored up most of the food anyway."

"Great. Hey, you know what would be a good idea? Put hot sauce in all of the drinks as well."

"You're a genius, May!"

* * *

 **8:45 am**

I quickly bring Mr. Akainu his coffee. I would have brought some cream, but they didn't have any dairy products whatsoever in the fridge.

I knock and wait for him to tell me to come in.

"Hello, sir, sorry that took a while, I had to make another pot of coffee, also there was no cream, I don't know how you like your coffee, but I brought some sugar with me if you'd like to add that—"

"Yes, yes, set it on my desk and get out."

"Right!" I place the cup on his desk and start to back away. He finally looks properly at me and I see his eyes narrow.

"Why the hell are you wearing pants? Women should wear skirts. Adjust your wardrobe starting tomorrow, I expect you to wear a skirt."

" _You_ wear a skirt."

Everything freezes. Mr. Akainu slowly looks up at me.

Oh. Crap.

I must have said that out loud.

"Haha," I laugh nervously, fear making my voice much higher than usual, "Um, bye."

He stands up just as an explosion shakes the building and the water system turns on. I'm out the door and sprinting down the halls before he can move, my cardigan getting soaked by the sprinklers.

"Get back here!" his yell echoes down the hallway.

' _Not on your life!'_

I fly down the stairs, where smoke is clouding every single room, I can't see the exit, shoot, wait, there's a flash of bright orange that I'd know anywhere. I reach out and snatch Ace's arm, he's laughing wildly, and race for the exit sign glowing green through the smoke.

We burst onto the streets of Grand Line, smoking trailing after us, and I push Ace into the passenger seat and take the wheel. And I floor it.

"Hahaha, oh my gosh, May! That was awesome! We should do that again sometime!" he laughs.

"No, no, no, and no again."

"Eh? When did you learn how to drive May?"

* * *

 **9:30 am**

After gunning it away from G-1, I had to let Ace take the wheel. I may be able to drive a getaway car, but I don't know how to drive normally yet. After the first couple of jolting stops at red lights and nearly getting us flattened by oncoming traffic, Ace demanded that he drive again. I was all too glad to let him.

Finally, we arrived at our destination: a small but flourishing dairy farm on the outskirts of Grand Line, run entirely by a young girl named Moda. She's the sweetest little thing in the world, and somehow ended up befriending Ace, who then introduced her to me. At the end of each month, I make a large shopping trip to buy milk, cream, cheese, and eggs from her to prepare for the next day.

We tumble out of the car and I hold Ace for a moment.

"Please don't ever let me drive normally again. That was a nightmare."

"Really? I thought it was funny."

I smack him and turn to see the girl stepping out of the little house.

"Ace! Lily-san!" she cries happily and bounces up to us, "I almost thought you weren't coming today!"

"Sorry, Moda-chan," I smile at her and point a thumb at Ace, "This idiot almost got us into big trouble."

"Well, I'm glad you're here now. Do you have time for a game of cards before you go?" she looks pleadingly up at us.

"Of course!" Ace says, "Who would ever pass up a chance to play War with the champion? I'm sure I'll beat you this time!"

Mod beams and grabs both of our hands.

"Alright! I'll get some milk for us to drink while we play."

Ace and I smile over the head of the young girl at each other; Moda really is the cutest. It's impossible not to love her.

* * *

 **12:30 pm**

A game of war (or two, or three…) later, Ace and I loaded up the car with all of the things we needed and were on our way.

"Um!" Moda said before we left, "If you could, my parents are working today, and they said they need more milk and cream at the station. Do you think you could deliver a couple cartons for me?"

Ace and I glance at each other; Moda's parents work as chefs for the G-1 police station. I have an apprehensive expression. Ace has a growing smile and excitement sparkling in his eyes. Oh no.

"Sure thing, Moda-chan!" Ace tells her, "Anything for you."

She smiles brightly and leans back from the window, waving to us as we drive away.

"We're just delivering something," I remind him.

"Yup!"

"In and out, no explosions."

"You got it!"

"You're not listening to me, are you."

"Nope!"

Oh boy. Thirty minutes pass and Ace pulls up to the station for the second time today. I should probably mention that it didn't take the usual hour it would take to drive through the city because Ace drove like a maniac to get here. I seriously feared for Nami's car, but we're still alive so I guess it's all good.

"Let's go in the back," I say," Straight to the kitchens, drop off the milk, and then we're gone. 'Kay?"

"Sure."

I roll my eyes. Well, nothing to do at this point but damage control.

We sneak through the back door, it still sounds like the station is in chaos from this morning. Good, that means everyone is distracted. We might just be able to pull this off without any trouble.

We make it to the kitchens—clear. Place the milk in the fridge—clear. Close the fridge—someone is on the other side. Ace and I shriek.

"Whoa, whoa, calm down there!"

Oh, thank god, it's just Moda's mom.

"Aren't you Ace and May? Moda's friends?" the round woman smiles at us, "What are you two doing here?"

"We're here to deliver milk," I tell her.

"And cause explosions."

I smack Ace.

"Haha, you're so funny! Well, thank you so much. Everyone here was complaining about the coffee being bitter. Although," she puts a finger on her chin, "Today they said the coffee was very good. Hm, maybe someone different made it today. That lady that runs the front is usually in charge of making coffee. Oh well."

"What's going on in here?" a gruff voice says; oh no, that sounds like Smoker.

Without thinking, I grab Ace's hand and pull him into the pantry as Moda's mom looks away. It wouldn't be good if he saw us.

"Hello there, Officer!" we hear Moda's mother greet Smoker.

"Who were you talking to?"

"We got some milk finally. I was just talking to the two that dropped it off. It seems they left though."

"Is there anymore coffee left?"

"No, I'm afraid the last pot has run out."

"Ace, we might have to cause a distraction," I whisper to him. It's quite dark in here, I think I'm on top of some bags of flour, and Ace is sprawled out on my lap, having tripped when I tugged him in behind me.

He perks up.

"You mean—?"

"Maybe, but a very small one. We don't want to hurt Mrs. Moda's Mother."

"Sure, sure, what's the plan."

I feel behind me. Definitely flour I'm sitting on.

"Ever heard of a dust explosion?"

"Who do you take me for?"

"Okay, on count of three. Make sure to grab her and pull her away with us."

"One."

"Two."

" _Three_!"

* * *

 **1:00 pm**

Nami sits at Quintin, piles of receipts surrounding her and cup of tea in hand. The bell rings and Law walks in.

"Afternoon," he nods at her and makes a beeline for the coffee pot behind the counter.

"Hm," she doesn't even look up at him.

She does however look up when someone taps on the window. A tall, curvy woman with dark blue curly hair stands outside, smiling in.

Nami waves and the woman points to the closed sign. The orange-haired woman nods, to confirm that the café is closed, but she seems to take that as an invitation to come in.

"Hello," she smiles and Nami frowns, "I don't mean to intrude, but I wanted to introduce myself. I'm not a customer. I'm opening next door and thought I'd say hi."

"Next door?" Nami raises an eyebrow, "As in the café?"

"Yes. I'm Paula. You?"

"As in, competition?" Nami closes her laptop with a small tap.

Paula raises her own eyebrow.

"Well, if you want to see it like that. But, I hope we can get along."

"Let me just tell you now," Nami gets to her feet, "Your little 'café' is going to be dead by the end of next month. If you think you can just waltz in here on May's territory and not suffer consequences, you've got another think coming."

"Hmph, is that so?" Paula's entire demeanor changes, a smug and challenging grin slipping onto her face as she places a hand on her hip.

The women's stare off gets interrupted when the door slams open. May and Ace race into the café.

"Oh my god, no one's following us right?" May pants, "I can _not_ believe we got out of there in one piece!"

"May, tell this woman to get out," Nami says.

"Huh?" she only just seems to take notice of the woman standing next to her, "Who are you? Sorry, the café's closed today."

"I own the café next door," Paula's sweet smile is back.

"Oh, that's nice," May easily dismisses her and turns back to Nami, "Your car's fine, I almost got us in an accident, but it didn't get scratched, so don't worry."

"What?! Nevermind, it's not scratched and that's all I care about. Anyway, tell this woman to leave."

"Eh? Why would I do that?" May asks her.

"She's competition! May, enemies aren't allowed here."

May looks back at the woman and gives her an evaluating look.

"There's no competition. Anyway, hey, I need help bringing everything in—oh, Law! When did you get here? Have time to lend a hand?"

Paula looks thunderstruck at May's apparent dismissal— _she's looking down on her, not even seeing her as competition!_ —and gets pushed out of the way as Ace comes back in with bags.

"Hey, move, lady, watch where you're standing," he says rudely, as if _she's_ the one that bumped into him.

"That's it! Mark my words, I'm going to run this place into the ground!" Paula yells and stomps out of the café, with Nami sticking out her tongue and pulling her eyelid down at her back as she leaves.

May looks after the woman in confusion as the door slams.

"What in the world is she talking about?"

"I dunno, May, strange woman should just be left alone."

"I told you, she's an enemy."

"May-ya, why do you look singed?"

"…Don't worry about it."

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Woo! We finally made it through the first month! And, I finally got a chapter out on time! It's not as soon as I would've liked but it's here!**

 **tifftiff4321- Thanks a lot!**

 **FSG Guest- Noooo! Please tell me! I'm always looking for new fics to read!**

 **ADDBaby- Lol, no, they're not in laws. Quintin and Nester aren't technically related, Quintin is at least 10 years older than Nester, there's no way they could be made form the same wood. It's a nice thought tho**

 **Guest on Chapter 15- We don't speak of it (I might do some stories from the past if guys want to know anything that's happened in the past two years May's known the crew though, if you want...? Maybe for a special chapter?)**

 **Star Captain Leigh- Ahhhhhhh! Thank you so, so much my friend! I love it! And thanks for the suggestion I'll keep it in mind!**

 **starrat- Thanks! You won't have to wait long, next chapter is coming tomorrow for sure**

 **Alright, stick around!**

 **-jj**


	24. Chapter 23: In Which I Make Crepes

**February 1/Monday/6:50 am**

I wake up and step downstairs, pulling out a mixing bowl, milk, eggs, and all sorts of ingredients. After all, I'm expecting a lot of people today. I take my time putting down chairs and dusting the counter off, before finally going over to the windows to open the curtains. All I can see when I push them aside are people's faces pressed up against the glass. Luffy is right at the front of the door, getting smushed against it. I unlock the door, pull it open, Luffy falls forward onto the café's floor, and the crowd of people outside goes silent.

I smile widely.

"Well, come on in!"

I step to the side to avoid the stampede of my friends who flood the café, all trying to fit inside.

"Ace, Zoro, grab the sofa and armchair, oh, and while you're at it, the coffee table, from upstairs would you?" I call to the spots of orange and green I can make out in the throng.

"You got it!"

While the two men get my furniture down, others fill up the café, trying to get any spot they can find. Some have brought their own chairs, someone brought a picnic blanket—wow, someone has set up a kotatsu—others simply sit on the floor. You can hardly walk without stepping on a few toes or fingers. Sanji brings out two griddles for me, along with a portable stove, and sets them behind the counter.

I smile and clap my hands to get everyone's attention.

"Glad you all could make it—!"

A loud cheer goes up from all of my friends.

"Wouldn't miss this day for the world!"

"Woo! Can't wait!"

"Alright, alright," I laugh, waving down the noise, "You all know the drill: people who have to be somewhere, or have appointments, don't have time, what-have-you, front of the line! Let's get this day started!"

A lot of shuffling ensues, some pushing, some shoving, a couple stepped-on toes, and a line forms in front of the counter. I crack my knuckles and start whipping up the batter for the first batch of crepes.

"Who's first?"

* * *

 **7:30 am**

"Ah, May, I've been struck by a sudden disease If-I-don't-eat-a-crepe-now-I'll-die-itis."

I look up from flipping a crepe over on the griddle at Usopp who's in the front of the line.

"Great, I'll make sure you have a nice funeral. Wait your turn, there's still people that are in a hurry."

"You're so cruel, May," he cries with dramatic tears rolling down his face as he walks over to Luffy, "Please! Write on my tombstone 'The Great Usopp, a Mighty and Brave Warrior who was left to die by the cold-hearted May'."

"Oh, are you dead, Usopp? Can I have all the food in your fridge in that case?"

"Do you even care that I'm dead, Luffy?!"

Marco steps up in Usopp's place.

"I'll take two for the road, May. Pops needs me back at the zoo, but he didn't want to miss today."

"Of course, tell him he better come next month though."

"Sure, yoi."

I hear some sort of scuffle by the door and see Kidd and Law struggling to get in ahead of the other. Kidd wins by sheer muscle and steps up to the counter.

"Why the hell are there so many people here?" he asks.

"It's a Crepe Day," I beam at him, flipping a crepe for Marco over and filling it with a cheesy sauce, "First day of every month, all of my friends come here and I make nothing but crepes the entire day. You picked a good day to stop by! Want one?"

"I'm not here for that."

"Strawberry it is," I hand two crepes in a box off to Marco and he nods before taking off.

"I don't want one, I'm here to order a cake."

"Cool, cool, what for?" I start on a strawberry filling for Red's crepe.

"Killer's birthday is tomorrow. Told me that he liked your cake, so here I am."

"Really?! Awesome, another birthday for the calendar," I spread the batter out on the griddle and look behind me, "Oi, Shanks, stop digging around in my booze cabinet and write in Killer's B-Day on tomorrow's date, would you?"

"Dang, I was caught!"

I reach under the counter for a piece of paper and pen with the hand that's not flipping the crepe and hand them over to Red.

"Flavor, frosting, shape, design, and how big on there, please. How is Heat, by the way?"

"Tch. Stupid cat keeps lighting things on fire somehow."

Red leaves with a strawberry crepe in hand, but not before pushing Law's hat over his eyes, which the doctor returns in kind by flipping him off. Then, it's Law that steps up to the counter.

"I'm here like you asked," he says blandly.

"Yup! Maybe this'll change your mind about bread. Even though it's not bread. Anyway, enjoy!" I hand him a crepe and wait for his reaction with excited anticipation.

"…So? So? It's good, right?"

"It's alright, I suppose."

"Yes! Victory!" I cheer and pour him a cup of coffee, "Remember, first day of every month, make sure you don't miss it! Have fun at work, play nicely with the other kids, and don't be afraid to try new things."

"Why do I feel like you're looking down on me."

"It's your imagination. Now, shoo!"

Law leaves and I quickly pour Nami a cup of tea and make her a crepe as well so she can go upstairs and finish her accounting stuff, then turn to everyone else who has waited, not so patiently, but waited all the same.

"Okay! Now we can really get down to it! Sweet or savory first? Show of hands."

* * *

 **9:45 am**

The first wave of the day is over, and I'm enjoying my own crepe along with my friends. Luffy and Ace both ate twenty each; I would hardly finish handing them one when they'd be back for another. Fortunately, I can take a small break because Chopper has taken over handing out coffee to everyone. Such a sweet kiddo.

The bell chimes merrily. There's always a few stragglers before the second wave of friends around noon arrives. I have to stand up to see around Jozu who it is that just arrived.

"Rayleigh!"

I rush over to greet my elderly landlord, who's patting water out of his coat.

"Hello, Miss May," he smiles at me, "Mild weather today."

I give him a quick hug and bounce over to the griddle.

"Where have you been, Raleigh? I haven't seen you in…a month. It's been exactly a month."

The old man takes a seat at the counter, lightly kicking Shanks out of his seat; the red head just laughs and crosses his legs on the floor, continuing his conversation with Benn and Yasopp.

"Hahaha! I was taking a leisurely cruise to the tropical islands. Unfortunately, before the return trip home, they found out I was a stowaway."

"Wait, how did you get back here then?" Chopper asks, handing him a cup of coffee.

"I swam, naturally."

"Oh, how was the water?" I ask, handing him his crepe.

"Very pleasant this time of year."

"That's good. It would've sucked if you caught a cold."

"Indeed. By the way, your rent is due."

"Right," I smile, "Nami's upstairs, she can sort you out."

* * *

 **12:15 pm**

The lunch rush was just as crazy, if not worse, than this morning. I had to knock out Shanks and Buggy when they got into a brawl and broke Quintin in two, then I had to do the same to Zoro and Sanji when they re-broke Quintin's temporary repairs Franky had kindly done. Next was Brook, who tried to get a peek at the women's panties from under the tables.

It was going smoothly (despite Quintin now having been broken for the 619th time), until disaster struck.

"Oh no, we ran out of meat!" I cry when I go back to the fridge, "Crap. Hey, someone make a store run, quick, we don't have any more meat!"

"What?! No more meat?!" Luffy's yell is the loudest of all, "I'll go really quick, we need to have meat!"

Before anyone can stop my little ball of energy, he's racing out the door and down the street.

"Dangit, I didn't give him a shopping list," I scan the crowd of my friends, singling one out, "Hey, Buggy! You look quite flashy today. Superbly flashy. Magnificently flashy."

"What do you want?"

"Can you go down to your store real fast and bring back some meat?"

"I'm not your delivery boy."

"Aw, c'mon, Buggy!" Shanks wraps an arm around his friend's shoulder, "I'll pay for it. We've gotta have meat after all."

"Fine!"

"Thanks, you're a hero."

"Huh? I thought he was a big nose."

"You can be a hero and a big nose at the same time."

" _What did you say about my nose?"_

* * *

 **3:00 pm**

It's been a couple hours and Luffy hasn't shown up yet. It's a good thing Buggy got back because we were really starting to suffer without meat for the crepes. I seriously think I saw Brook's soul leaving his body a bit. But, he's always been dramatic like that. I dance around my friends scattered about on the floor to the table Robin, Nojiko, Vivi, Makino, and Kokoro are sitting at to refill their coffees and teas.

"So, Vivi, how are you liking Crepe Day so far?" I ask her.

"It's very hectic," she laughs, "But the crepes taste amazing, May, thank you so much."

"Of course they do," I puff up with pride and put my hands on my hips.

"May, you're spilling coffee."

I look down and see the coffee pot I forgot is still in my hand is spilling onto the floor, spreading to where Haruta is sitting on the ground with Vista, Rakuyo, and Jiru and getting his pants leg wet.

"Wah! Sorry Haruta!"

While I'm trying to sop up the mess I've made with Haruta's help, the door bursts open.

"Hey, Luffy, where've you been?"

"You didn't tell me where the store was! I couldn't find the store, May, so I couldn't buy meat."

"Luffy, you literally just needed to go down to Buggy's. Ah, it doesn't matter. Buggy went and came back, so we have meat now," I tell him.

"What? You sent me on that adventure for nothing?"

"Sorry, sorry. What kind of adventure did you have?"

"Well, I—"

Before he can tell me what kind of trouble he got into while he was supposed to be on a shopping trip, Namur comes running into the café.

"Oi! Some police officers are walking down the street, headed this way!"

The good majority of people in the café clear out, either by running upstairs, hiding in the kitchen, or diving behind the counter. Only a handful of people remain sitting, so at least I know that not _all_ of my friends have done something to incriminate them. Or maybe they have and are just better at not being caught. That could be it, too, you never know with these people. I refill the coffee pot, having to step over a few people—wow, you never know just how many people can fit behind a counter until you try, huh?—as the bell rings and Smoker and Tashigi step in.

"See, sir? It's open, there's customers here," the lady officer is telling her superior.

"Hello, officers," I call and totter around arms and legs; I must look very strange right now, but whatever," I'm sorry, but we're closed today. Would you like some coffee?"

"What did I tell you, Tashigi?" Smoker asks her, "The sign in the window clearly says closed."

"Oh, haha, sorry, I didn't see it because my glasses weren't on."

"So, coffee, yes? No?"

"Yes, that'd be lovely, Miss Lily," Tashigi says.

I get the police officers their coffee and they look suspiciously in the kitchen's direction when a loud crash comes from it.

"Don't mind that, it's probably just my, uhm, dog," I laugh nervously, and they thankfully accept it.

"Isn't that unsanitary, to have animals in a kitchen?" asks Smoker.

"Hmph, are you calling my cute Chou Chou dirty?"

"What? No," the officer looks surprised and worried that he might have upset me, "I didn't mean—"

"Alright, sir, I think it's time to go," Tashigi grabs his arm and pulls him away, "Have a nice day, ma'am."

"You, too!"

The door closes behind them and a second later, Sanji falls over from behind the counter, stiff from having to hold his awkwardly crouched pose for so long. Also, probably because Zoro pushed him over. There's a collective sigh of relief and everyone comes back out. Except for people in the kitchen. Uh oh, there are more crashes and they're getting louder.

I pull open the door in time to get pelted in the face with something white.

I look around to see the kitchen covered in blotches of whip cream and my friends throwing the sweet cream at each other. And of course, Luffy and Ace are in the center of it all.

"Whip cream fight!"

The brothers spot me and instantly scoop up some whip cream and toss it at me. I squeak as I get hit. Oh, it's _on_.

"You're going down!"

* * *

 **6:00 pm**

Upstairs, Nami shakes her head. The idiots downstairs are finally quiet after three hours. Taking a sip of her tea, she finds that it's empty, so she picks it up and walks down the stairs. And straight into a mess. Whip cream looks like it exploded all over the kitchen, dripping from every surface—oh, and there's Ace, asleep on the floor and nearly entirely covered in the stuff, she almost didn't see him. She pauses at the bottom of the stairs to take it all in, but then shrugs. It's May's problem to clean it up. Right now, her only concerns are more tea. She waits for the kettle to boil. Maybe she'll get one more crepe out of May and then head back up to finish the little bit of work she has left.

The café owner steps into the kitchen to grab something and sees Nami.

"Have fun cleaning this up," she tells her.

"Haha, we might have gone a little overboard, but it was fun," May says with a small smile, "But, all in all, I'd say it has been another successful Crepe Day."

She immediately slips on whip cream and falls over.

"Nevermind, I take that back, this whole fight was stupid! I regret everything!"

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Mmmmmmyeah! The first chapter of the new month! Are you pumped?! I'm pumped! And I even got it posted at the right time, yay! Last day to give me ideas for tomorro's special chapter, otherwise I'll be doing whatever. Thanks for sticking with me everyone, you're all awesome :D**

 **SupremeGeneralJoker- Hehehe, oh, I've got _plans._ You'll see!**

 **Thanks again, and stick around!**

 **-jj**


	25. Chapter 24: In Which There Is Paint

**February 2/Tuesday/7:30 am**

Luffy hasn't shown up as of yet. Huh, maybe he went over to Sanji's today. Although, I haven't gotten a text from the chef. Perhaps he just slept in? That's entirely possible. I _did_ make him and Ace stay late last night to help clean the mess we caused, seeing as they're the ones that started it. Whew, just thinking about it makes me feel like I'm covered in sticky whip cream again. It took the better part of the night to get it all out of my hair. I was considering giving myself a haircut just so I wouldn't have to deal with it after three showers in a row, but I pulled though by reminding myself that I spent a good decade growing it out, and I wouldn't let a little bit of whip cream make all my hard work and patience go to waste.

I shuffle around to the front of the counter to wipe the display case off. However, when I lean back, finished, I run into something. Or more like, something pushes me. I teeter off balance for a moment, until hands take my waist.

"Whoa, whoa!" Ace steadies me as I stumble from surprise, "Easy there! You should be careful, May."

"Excuse me, you're the one behind me without announcing your presence," I huff, brushing off his hands and going back to the counter, "Hey, where's your brother? Is he not coming in today?"

"Oh, I'm sure he's around somewhere," Ace says vaguely, "Anyway, I'm starving, what's for breakfast?"

"I dunno, I'll have to see what's left in the fridge."

"Oyaji put up another challenge."

I snatch up one of my phonebooks the second Ace casually slips those words into our conversation and hold it protectively in front of me.

"If you so much as try to kiss me, you're getting a phonebook to the face," I warn him.

"No, no, it's not like that," he brushes off my threat with an easy laugh, "It'd be lame to do the same thing twice, Oyaji is much more creative than that."

"Okay, so what is it?"

"It's an interdivision challenge this time, rather than a free for all. Each division has a color and there are certain targets all through the city today—mine is orange, by the way—"

"Fitting."

"Yeah, and the division who pegs the most targets wins. The time limit is until nine tonight."

"Alright, seems simple enough, though I'm sure you guys are going crazy through the streets. Speaking of, why aren't you out nailing people with orange?"

He grins at me.

"Gotta have breakfast from May first, of course. It's the best way to start the day."

I perk up and smile. D'aww, he and Luffy can be really sweet sometimes.

"Aw geez, stop it you," I hold my cheeks, "Oh, hey! If you're going to be sticking around for a bit, do you mind watching the front? I have a cake to make today, so I'll be busy in the back."

"You've got it!"

"Thanks!"

* * *

 **9:00 am**

The first attack comes silently. Ace is sitting at the counter, munching on eclairs and drinking coffee. The bell remains silent as the door opens, but he knew they had come. The intruders creep across the café floor, making wild hand signals and carrying paint guns.

Ace stands behind them.

"Morning, gents."

They all let out high-pitched squeaks and whip around to face him, but it is too late. Within seconds, the five men are knocked unconscious and booted out the door. They had white, Ace notes to himself, which means Jiru's group. It was just like him to rush in first.

May comes running out, drawn by the screams.

"What in the world was that?" she asks, "Were there some people here? Why did I hear screaming?"

"Haha, oh sorry! Luffy sent me a jump scare video on my phone. It was pretty scary, I guess I was a bit too loud," laughs Ace.

"Geez, you had me scared! Try to keep it down, okay?"

"Okay!"

Ace breathes a sigh of relief as May goes back to the kitchen. Stupid guys, why did they have to scream so loud? He thought they were better than that, but maybe Jiru had sent some weaklings first. After all, May was easily the weakest of all the targets Oyaji had designated. But what nobody outside of his division knew, was that he was guarding her. He figures he'll have about an hour or so before the next group attacks and word got out. Then, things will get difficult.

But for now, he kicks his feet up on the counter and leans back, sipping his coffee in relaxed comfort.

And falls over because the stools don't have any backs.

* * *

 **10:00am**

He was right about only having an hour. The next group arrived when May was thankfully using the old and therefore very loud stand mixer in the kitchen, so she couldn't hear any struggle that _might_ have occurred. This time, it was green, Haruta's group, and he swiftly took care of them and kicked them out the door, just as May came to the front wiping her hands.

"Huh? Was someone just here?"

"Just some punks that are ditching school. I kicked them out for you and told them to stop skipping their classes."

"Oh, that's nice of you. I guess. Hey, don't you have a challenge to be out doing right now?" she narrows her eyes suspiciously at him; he gives her an innocent smile which makes her eyes narrow further.

"I've got time. Anyway, I haven't finished my coffee yet."

"Okay, okay. Just remember to tell me if anyone comes in, alright?"

"Of course!"

* * *

 **11:00 am**

After he defeated the first two groups, they must've gone and told everyone, because the next couple of attacks were joint efforts. It seems that Blamenco, Kingdew, Atmos, and Fossa teamed up in hopes to take him down, because the next group, twenty men carrying paintball guns and bursting through the door, had violet, dark green, gold, and red paint with them. He had a bit more trouble dealing with them by himself, but fortunately, May was in the WC, and the men were gone before she got back. She continued baking Killer's cake, completely oblivious to what was going on in her café.

"Huh, it's strange," she tells Ace as she leans on the counter, waiting for the cake to get out of the oven, "Usually I have at least one customer by now. Law hasn't come by, and neither has Mr. Dracule. And who knows where Luffy is, I'm starting to get worried."

"He's fine. Oh, I forgot to tell you that he told me to tell you he wouldn't be coming in today."

"Really? Whew, that's a weight off my shoulders. Thank goodness he's not in trouble or anything."

"Yeah…"

She heads back to the kitchen when she hears the timer go off, just in time to miss the men that jump down from the ceiling like ninjas and are subsequently knocked out by Ace. He quickly kicks them behind the counter when May pops her head back in.

"Oh, and don't forget—"

"To let you know if any customers arrive, I know!" Ace smile in an assuring way.

"Thanks."

Ace peeks at the unconscious men; they're from Rakuyo, if the magenta paint is anything to go by. That's seven groups that have tried now, meaning seven more have yet to make their move, excluding his of course. It will probably get harder, too, once the higher-ups start getting involved when they realize their underlings don't stand a chance against him.

"Well, we'll burn that bridge when we get to it!"

* * *

 **12:45 pm**

"Alright, Ace, what are you not telling me?"

The man looks up at the barista who's now frosting the cake behind the counter.

"What?" he puts on his best non-guilty face he can manage.

"You know what. Tell me what's going on. You've been here since this morning, and I know you're not just one to sit around and let others have all the fun," she points her frosting-covered knife at him threateningly.

"No, no, it's all fine! We're waiting to make our big move. There's no hurry for it," he explains, hoping she'll buy it; she looks mollified.

"If you're sure then. I wouldn't wait too long, though, if you want to win," she says, going back to her frosting..

"Don't worry, we've got this in the bag," he smirks confidently.

"So, who are the targets?" she asks conversationally; he almost spits out his coffee, but quickly regains his composure.

"Well, there's a few scattered all over Grand Line. Jinbe and his men are some of them—"

"I'm sure he's happy with that."

"Definitely. A couple police officers, a few people Oyaji doesn't like, Shanks—"

"Shanks is a target?" May laughs, "That's hilarious, I might go see him later today just to see him covered in paint!"

Ace shoots her an odd look.

"You'll probably be disappointed then. Pops put him as a target as an added challenge for anyone that feels stupid enough to go after him. He's worth two hits, but I'm not expecting him to get any paint on him today."

"Really? Why would Shanks be worth two? And why would anyone be stupid to go after him? It's not like it would be hard to peg him," May tilts her head in confusion and Ace seems to perk up remembering something.

"Oh, right, you don't know. Don't worry about it."

"…What?"

"Don't worry about it."

"…Okay."

May goes to put the cake in the fridge to let the frosting firm up, missing another attack from what Ace recognizes as Namur's guys with light blue paint.

* * *

 **3:00 pm**

His luck finally ran out. After beating off a few more attempted paint attacks by Jozu's (dark red), Izo's (pink), and Bleinheim's (black) groups, Vista's men wielding dark blue paint came barging into the café as May was putting the finishing touches on Killer's cake. They very nearly hit her, but Ace took the paintball intended for her with his bare chest before proceeding to kick their asses.

"Ace!" May yells at him, "What the hell are they doing here?!"

"Yeah, so, did I mention that you're sorta a target for this challenge?" he says nonchalantly as he piles the KO'd men outside the door.

She looks at him in horror.

"You've gotta be _kidding_ me."

"Haha. Nope."

"Is that why you've been here all day?" she asks.

He nods.

"Everyone except Marco, Thatch, and Curiel have made a stab at getting you. I'm expecting things to get pretty tricky soon, when the big guns come out to play. "

"And you were going to tell me this when?"

"I dunno, whenever you found out. Which, look at that, you did! So, now I'm telling you."

"Great."

May puts her hands to her temples to rub small circles there and calm down. She can't be in the middle of this paint war! She has a cake to deliver.

"Look, I really need to get this cake to Killer," she tells Ace, "I feel like if I take even one step out of this place, I'm going to be pelted with paint balls. Can you help me get there safely?"

"Sure. And you're right about the getting pelted bit, I'm pretty sure most of the divisions have snipers set up around here by now."

May closes her eyes and redoubles the efforts to massage her growing headache away. Why her? Why is it always her?

After taking a few deep breaths, she turns back to Ace.

"Alright, what's the plan."

* * *

A few minutes later, Ace causally strolls outside to get his bike that's parked in front of my café. He's loading Killer's cake and a couple bags of flour on the back, and then I'm going to meet him in the back alleyway.

I try to look natural as I lock up the door and flip the sign to 'CLOSED', leave a bowl of food for Chou Chou, and head to the back door. A couple steps to go, then a mad dash, and I'll be good.

- _CRASH_ -

Oh crap, that sounds like the front door breaking down. I sprint to the back door, fling it open, run to where Ace is waiting with his motorcycle, and hop on.

"Drive, man, drive!"

He guns it and we're off, flying down the street to Kidd's auto shop.

"Woo! This is where things get _fun_!"

"Don't talk, just ride!"

* * *

 **3:30 pm**

I probably look like a mad person when I burst into Kidd's shop. I single out the man in the blue and white mask, rush over, place the cake on the counter, and give him a quick hug before anyone can react.

"Hey, happy birthday, love to stay, but I can't, hope you enjoy your cake, tell me later how old you are now, bye!" I pant out in a rush, and then I'm out the door and back on Ace's bike.

"Alright, where to?" I ask over the sound of the engine and wind.

"We're too exposed out in the open, we should find a place to take cover!" he yells over his shoulder, swerving sharply and a paint ball zooms past my arm.

"Maybe a park or something?" I suggest.

"Yeah, sound good."

He skillfully dodges more paint balls that seem to be coming from all directions now and manages to get us clear.

Dear god, this better not be some mad repeat of Oyaji's last challenge, running around endlessly for hours trying to avoid swarms of zoo workers. At least the time limit is nine instead of midnight. Finding some small comfort in that thought, I cling more tightly to Ace as we roar down Grand Line.

* * *

 **4:50 pm**

We found a nice, quiet little park somewhere around Usopp's daycare. There, we spent a relaxing hour on the swings, talking about this and that: what tactics the zoo workers would probably use, who is potentially the most challenging for us tonight, somehow got on the topic of psychological warfare, what we should have for dinner, things like that.

However, all hell broke loose when the trees surrounding the park where suddenly filled with men, all aiming paintball guns at me.

"May! Run!"

We jump off the swings and run full speed to Ace's bike, somehow managing to dodge the rain of paint balls. He puts me in front of him on the motorcycle so that his back takes all of the paint balls.

"Ow, fuck, those things hurt!"

"Where can we go now?!"

"I dunno, just hold on tight!"

We retreat quickly, Ace occasionally getting caught by a lucky stray paint ball. This is going to be a long four hours.

* * *

 **5:30 pm**

"You're joking. Please tell me you're joking."

"I'm sorry, okay? I just drove here out of habit."

I drop my forehead down on Ace's shoulder in exasperation. Currently, we are squeezed into the broom closet of a security room. And where is this security room you might ask?

Whitebeard's zoo.

Of course.

"I swear, if your stupid father drags me into one more stupid challenge, I'm disowning him."

"Aw, you wouldn't do that, would you?"

"No," I sigh, "I guess I wouldn't."

"Shh, shh! I think I hear someone," Ace puts a hand over my mouth.

"Does anyone know where they went?" we hear someone ask.

"No, we caught sight of them at a park, but we lost them. Damn Ace, making this so difficult."

I can almost _see_ Ace's grin through the dark. I can't help but smile under his hand as well.

"Wait!" someone cries, "On the security tape! What was that?!"

A few moments of silence.

"They're here at the zoo."

"Look through all the cameras, find them!"

Oh no, Ace's hair just tickled my nose.

"Ah—"

"May, don't you dare," Ace whispers frantically.

"Ah- _ACHOO_!"

"Hey, what was that?"

"Are they hiding in there?!"

"Flour," I tell Ace quietly; no point in hiding now, so we might as well start this chase off with a bang.

The door is flung open and the person on the other side is greeted with a bag of flour exploding in his face.

"Baker's Special: Dust Explosion!" I cry and Ace lights a match.

We book it out of there as a small explosion goes off, giving us enough of a distraction to get out of there; Ace is laughing like the idiot he is.

"May, we should cause more explosions together more often. Isn't it fun?"

"Hell no, you make enough trouble without my help!"

"Thanks!"

"That's not supposed to be a complement, idiot!"

* * *

 **6:45 pm**

After our grand appearance, every worker knows we are at the zoo. Apparently, Thatch has decided to reactivate the traps he and Ace set up last month, but luckily, I have Ace who knows where the majority of them are. There are a few surprises here and there, but we've managed to stay clear of them so far. Right now, we're enjoying some tea with Oyaji, in his office, as we listen to the chaos happening all around the zoo.

"Pops, why would you do this?" I ask tiredly.

"I was bored," he says simply, "It's fun to watch the brats play around every once in a while."

I sigh in resignation.

"So, who's winning at the moment?"

"Gurarara! It's close. Right now, there's a six way tie between the first four divisions, Curiel, and Izo. A few people were brave enough to go after that red-haired brat, Marco even took a shot at it, but no one has gotten him. However, it's Ace's brother that's surprised everyone. Cheeky kid has only been tagged by the groups all tied for first, he's beaten everyone else that came after him."

I beam with pride.

"That's my baby for you."

"Yeah, Luffy would never let himself be beat by a bunch of weaklings!" Ace cheers.

We're interrupted by the door crashing open.

"Pops! Sorry to disturb, but have you seen—!"

The zoo employee blinks and stares at me and Ace, who are sitting across from Whitebeard, calmly drinking tea.

"Ahhhh! I found them!"

"Oh shi—"

Ace leaps up and takes out the man, then comes back and grabs my hand.

"Looks like that's our cue to leave! Thanks for the tea, old man!"

"Have fun, my children!"

* * *

 **7:30 am**

We got caught in the zoo's kitchens by Thatch. That is his territory, after all, but we needed some more flour because we used up all that we brought from the café already.

"Haha! Victory is mine!" he yells, cornering us with a water gun filled with yellow paint— _sonnuva_ —that's one of Izo's, I used the exact same one to protect me during the last challenge. I shake my fist silently at the water gun—traitor!

He's about to pull the trigger, and Ace pushes me behind him, but I notice something flash out of the corner of my eye. I grab it and duck around Ace's spread arms and let the fire extinguisher in my hands go.

"Wah!"

"Ace, go, now!"

"You got it!"

We dodge around Thatch (who is covered in white foam) and run for our lives, with a large bag of flour strapped to each of our backs.

"Brilliant, May! Nice work."

"Save the celebration for nine o'clock!"

* * *

 **8:00 pm**

We got ambushed by Jozu and Izo in the hall of reptiles. I had a difficult time ducking behind the glass cases of snakes and lizards in order not to get pegged as Ace worked after all of the shooters. By the time we left, the hall was covered in dark red and pink paint and I was extremely tired.

"Man, I feel sorry for the janitors," Ace says as we walk to the exit, "They're going to have a hell of a time cleaning this up."

"Yeah. I'm just glad my café didn't get a new paint job."

We open the doors to step out into the night and walk right into the face of a cannon.

"Now, we can do this the easy way," Curiel says, surrounded by his men all pointing paint guns at us, along with his own bazooka resting on his shoulder, "Or the hard way."

I give a little squeak and put my hands up, as does Ace.

"On three?" he whispers out of the side of his mouth.

"On three," I say, feeling a little faint.

"Good. You two made the right choice," Curiel lowers his bazooka, and motions for a can of hot pink paint to be brought forward.

" _Three!"_

Ace and I both reach for the bags of flour and throw them in a horizontal arc so that all the men are surrounded by flour in the air. Ace throws the match as we slam the reptile doors closed as a large explosion shakes the hall's doors.

"Baker's Special: Supreme Dust Explosion," I say and grin at Ace as we sag against the doors, amazed that we pulled that off.

We give each other a high-five.

* * *

 **8:59 pm**

Marco has proven to be a really tenacious son of a gun this past hour. He keeps swooping in from nowhere and then Ace is forced to fight him off; even when the freckled 22-year-old pulled handcuffs out of who knows where and chained him to a fence, eighteen minutes later, he popped back up again.

"God damnit, Marco, just let me win this, you stupid banana-peel-pineapple-head!" Ace yells out him as they exchange kicks and blows.

"Nah, I'm having too much fun to stop now," the man shrugs lazily, as he tries to kick Ace out of his way to me.

"Oh no you don't!"

Ace returns the kick, but Marco, grabs his ankle.

"And what if I do this?" he pulls out a small paint ball gun and points it at me.

"No!"

Marco pulls the trigger.

The zoo's clock tower chimes nine o'clock.

I get hit in the face with a paint ball.

* * *

 **9:00 pm**

"Ow! Son of a bit-!"

"Woo! I win!" Ace cheers as I clutch my cheek that has a teal splotch of paint on it.

"No, you didn't, yoi," Marco says in a bored voice, tucking the gun and his hands into his pockets, "You've been so focused on protecting May that you forgot to peg her yourself."

"Marco, you just shot me, you fuc—!"

"May, turn around," Ace has a wide, shit-eating grin on his face.

I turn around and try to look over my shoulder.

"What? Is there something on my back?"

"See? I win," Ace says smugly.

I take off my cardigan to see what he's talking about. There, on the back, is a little spot of orange paint.

"When did you…?"

"First thing this morning," Ace says proudly.

"Well, congrats then," Marco pats his back.

"Ace."

The men both look over to me where I'm clutching my cardigan, eyes shadowed.

" _You ruined my favorite cardigan, you son of a bitch_!"

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Okay, so not as soon as I would've liked to update, but here we are! Happy month anniversary of this story, everyone! Thanks to Star Captain Leigh for the suggestion of another Whitebeard challenge**

 **ADDBaby- Hey, if there's one thing I've learned, it's never get in the way of true love lol :D**

 **FSG Guest- Thanks for the rec, I'll have to check it out! But, actually Smoker didn't get any coffee when she went to G-1, he pot ran out before he could get there. Ah, poor Smoker. A life without coffee is no life at all. For your comment on chapter 24...you act like May's _not_ just as crazy as the rest of them.**

 **Jisca- Haha, maybe! He'll get dragged in soon enough, you can count on that!**

 **Awesome Guest- Actually, not really! But what are you talking about? Mihawk has spoken. I think he's spoken...eight words in all of the chapters combined. He says stuff. Eight words is saying stuff :D**

 **mute-by-choice- Thanks for the suggestions, I'll definitely keep them in mind! I already have some plans for a few of the things you said, but I'll try to see what I can do :) And, haha, May sure does come off as the Group Mother, doesn't she?**

 **Stick around!**

 **-jj**


	26. Chapter 25: In Which There Is A Hole

**February 4/Thursday/3:00 am**

I wake up and blink in the darkness of my room. Brr! It's incredibly cold! I drape the sheets around me, slip my feet into the fluffy bunny slippers next to the bed to avoid the freezing floor, and shamble over to my closet. I open it to reveal a solid wall of grey. Ace ruined my favorite cardigan, the sonnuva—nope, I'm over it, I'm over it, but fortunately, I have twenty others just like it.

I pull out my second favorite cardigan and pull it on, letting the blankets over it heat it up before I toss them back on the bed.

I leave my DOSKO1 PANDA pajama pants on because they're warmer than pulling on new pants and trot downstairs. The bunny slippers stay on my feet as well.

Seriously, why is it so cold in here? I flip on the lights in the front of house and take moment to register what I'm looking at.

A large white truck is crashed through one of the windows and walls by the door, a skull with wings and crossed swords painted on the hood.

A layer of snow up to my waist is piled outside on the streets, and some of it is spilling into the café from the gaping hole. Oh. That's why it's so cold.

Well, son of a bitch.

This is a terrible way to wake up.

I haven't even had tea yet.

Sighing, I go to the kitchen to start my baking for the day (and drink many, many cups of tea); I'll have to wait to call Franky or someone to come help me extract the truck from my café's window.

* * *

 **7:00 am**

Sweet Christmas on crème brulee, it is colder than the time Luffy, Ace, and I got stuck in a lake close to Grand Line when it unexpectedly froze over while we were swimming. The snow has not melted yet and there was even a freak blizzard a little after six in the morning. I currently have all of the winter jackets I own over my cardigan, a scarf wrapped around my neck and lower face, gloves, and a beanie on. And I'm _still_ cold.

At least Franky should be on his way soon. I called him as early as could be considered decent and asked him to come over pronto, please, thank you, and good bye.

The door opens, making the bell chime merrily, and I pop out, expecting to see Luffy, but it's just Paula, the lady who's opening her café next door. Oh! I have to make her a welcome cake soon! I've been so busy lately I almost forgot, and I also didn't get to introduce myself properly last time, since I was so flustered from escaping G-1.

I smile at her in welcome.

"Good morning! Sorry it's a bit cold, I should have that fixed soon."

She gives me a funny look. Huh, that's weird, why is my voice muffled? I feel my mouth and remember that a scarf is covering it. I laugh and pull it down.

"Oh, how silly of me. Anyway, good morning!"

"My, my, it's seems like you've had an _unfortunate_ accident," Paula puts a hand on her cheek as she observes the truck protruding out the window.

"Yeah, it happened sometime after midnight and before three this morning," I say sadly, looking over the damage as well.

"How in the world do you know that?" she looks surprised.

"Well, because I went to bed at midnight. I'm pretty sure I would've heard it if I was awake, and then when I woke up this morning, it was already like this, so…," I trail off, letting her figure out the rest.

"Well, isn't it so _unfortunate_ that it happened," she puts a hand on her hip and leans her weight to one leg, "Now you'll have to pay thousands of Beri to cover the damage and customers won't want to come in until then."

"Could I have some coffee, May-ya?"

We both jump at the sudden presence of Law next to Paula. He's wearing a long, heavy black coat with yellow spots scattered around the bottom, to fight the cold.

"Of course!" I say cheerfully and make my way over to the coffee pot; the snow now covers the entire floor, "Hope you can wait a moment, I haven't made any yet today."

"That's fine."

"Brr, it's freezing out there!"

"Although, it's not much better in here, hahaha!"

I look over to see Marigold and her sister come in, shaking off snow from their coats.

"Hello, ladies! Coffee?"

"Yes, Lily-san. And hurry, we're about to die from the cold."

The bell rings again and a tall man with broad shoulders comes in.

"Morning, sir, be with you right in a moment!" I call as I hand off cups to Law, Marigold, and Sandersonia, and they each pay and take their leave; Paula has been swept off to the side and forgotten, "What can I get you?"

"Coffee, please, and extra hot."

"You've got it. May I get you name?"

"Dalton."

"How nice! I'm Lily. Lily E. May."

Oh, that reminds me! I still haven't properly introduced myself to Paula yet, I should do that. It's only polite.

I pass Mr. Dalton his coffee and turn to my fellow café owner.

"Sorry, about that! Anyway, I'm afraid we haven't really met, I was in a bit of a hurry last time. Welcome to Red Line, Paula-san," I hold out my hand for her to shake, but instead, she huffs and crosses her arms.

"So, what if you get customers despite that ugly hole? You can freeze to death for all I care, you probably will by the time that gets patched up."

"Huh?" I blink at her; is she mad at me? What did I do?

She shrieks as the truck in the window is suddenly wrenched out of the hole and thrown carelessly away by Franky.

"Morning, May, sorry I'm a bit late! All this snow makes driving super hard."

Huh, maybe it's just my imagination that Paula's mad at me; she seems like such a nice lady. She was kind enough to worry about the accident and how my business would be effected after all.

"No problem, Franky, thanks for coming so early in the morning!"

"Aow! Let's do this!"

I watch Franky whip out his tools and start to work in a frenzy. It's like he's flashing in and out of existence. So cool! Within moments, he has the wall and glass repaired and is wiping the window clean until it sparkles.

"Finished!" he beams and gives me a thumbs up; I applaud, though it's muffled by my gloves.

Paula has an angry red blush on her cheeks and she stamps her foot.

"Alright, so you manage to fix it, big deal! You're still going to fall!"

With that, she storms out of the café, right next door.

"What did she mean by that?" Franky asks, perplexed, "And anyway, who was that strange lady?"

"She works next door. And maybe she meant…oh, I see! There's ice on the café's floor, so she was warning me to be careful or I'd slip and fall!"

What a thoughtful lady! I'm sure we'll be good friends.

* * *

 **12:00 pm**

Luffy and Nami have come in for lunch today. My bambino is telling me all about his time during Whitebeard's latest challenge, recounting every moment for me in detail, while Nami listens from the counter.

"Shishishi, you should've seen their faces, May, when I sent their buddies flying with a punch! It was a lot of fun. I wish Ace's otou-san would include me in more challenges."

"At least you had a good time."

"Yeah, and so after those guys, Marco attacked me from nowhere. It's like he swooped down from the sky! It was awesome."

I bring out lunch (and Luffy) to Nami and we dig in.

"Hey, did Arlong ever get out of the hospital?" I ask her.

"Heehee, oh yes. He was discharged a couple days ago—Luffy really did a number on him—but he was fired. I won't ever have to deal with his stupid face ever again," she giggles.

"How did he get fired?"

"I took a page out of your book," she points her fork at me, grinning, "These past few months, I've been sneaking photos of all the improper and sketchy things he was doing, and finally, I caught him on hidden camera when he deleted my work the day he was hospitalized. Figured I had enough dirt against him to get him booted, so I handed it over to our bosses. Most. Satisfactory. Feeling. Ever."

I glance around when I notice the absence of Luffy eating.

"Hm? Where did Luffy go?"

"What? Oh, I don't know. When did he disappear?"

The boy in question suddenly pops up and is heading for the door.

"Thanks for the food, May, it was yummy, I have to go now, bye!"

We blink as the door slams shut.

"What was that about?"

"Who knows."

"Right. Refill on tea?"

"Love some."

* * *

 **4:00 pm**

Jozu arrived here half an hour ago to help me finish putting the last touches on cupcakes. He'll be helping me transport everything for the party, since he's the only one with a car that can fit everything. He silently frosts the last of the cupcakes besides me and puts the finished ones on the fridge.

"Jozu, I might have to hire you when I have occasions like this, you have a wonderful touch," I marvel at his piping skills.

"Thanks," he says calmly.

"Ever thought of becoming a patissier?"

"Can't say I have."

"Well, if it ever tickles your fancy, give me a call."

He simply nods and continues piping. We still have about two and a half hours until the party starts, so we'll give them time to sit. Oh, who's party you ask? Haruta's and Vista's. Today is Haruta's birthday, and tomorrow is Vista's, and since they're so close together, we celebrate it in one party. But, since Pops insists that everyone have their own birthday celebrated on the actual day, damnit and no exceptions, he holds a party for the both of them that lasts from the fourth of February to the fifth.

And, that party would be today.

We put the rest of the cupcakes in the fridge and I hang up my apron.

"I need to shower before we go, but help yourself to anything in the fridge that's not a cake or cupcake. Also, feel free to play some Sudoku, it's on the shelf below the cash register."

Jozu nods.

* * *

 **6:00 pm**

Jozu gets us to Whitebeard's home just on time and then helps me set up the dessert table. I get interrupted several times by people apologizing for taking part in the paint challenge, but I brush them off, telling them not to worry. It's not them I'm mad at for the latest challenge, I'm not even mad at Oyaji.

No, I'm mad at Marco and Ace and them alone this time.

Marco for shooting me in the face, Ace for ruining my favorite cardigan. I rubbed my face red getting that paint off, and don't you dare tell me that I have other cardigans exactly like that one. It was my favorite.

Someone taps my shoulder. I turn and see Marco and have half a mind to give him a piece of my mind. So, a quarter of my mind.

"Sorry, yoi," he cuts me off before I can chew him out, "Pops didn't let us use real paint guns, but that still must've hurt. I hope I can make it up. Or at least try to apologize with this."

He presents a small can to me and I take it, reading the fine letters. I blink.

"This is Du Hong Pao," I say blankly.

"Yes," Marco has a small smile on his lips as he leans casually on one leg, hands in pockets.

"This is _premium_ Du Hong Pao," I try again.

"Yes."

"This is the most expensive tea in the world," I state, trying to believe what I have in my hand.

"Yes," Marco says yet again, his smile getting bigger.

I look back down at the little tin.

"Wow," it's all I can say, "Thanks."

"Don't mention it, yoi."

"Where did you _get_ it?"

He shrugs.

"I have a guy. Don't worry about it."

I laugh and give him a hug.

"Apology accepted. Geez, I should be mad at you guys more often if you give me stuff like this."

At this moment, Haruta and Vista walk through the doors.

"Hope you didn't start without us!" Haruta calls out to all of the people gathered.

"But now that the stars of the party have arrived, let's begin!" laughs Vista.

A cheer goes up from the crowd and the merriment starts. I grab a cupcake, thank Marco one more time, and gravitate over to the nurses, who are situated near Pops. Like usual, they're trying to limit his alcohol intake. And like usual, they're failing miserably.

"Oh! I've about had it with that man!" Cherie huffs in exasperation, "I swear I'm going to have a hernia dealing with him."

"How many drinks has he had already?" I ask her as she drops onto a seat.

"I lost count after thirty," she sighs.

"That's impressive."

"That's dangerous," she corrects me, "Not helping here, May. Not helping."

"Sorry," I grin at her.

"Oi, May!" someone comes up behind me and gives me a quick squeeze; I catch a glimpse of orange and know it's Ace. He lets me go and turns me to face him, "Okay, okay, before you get mad at me, here."

I take the package Ace hands me with a suspicious glare and open it. Then gasp.

It's my cardigan! My favorite cardigan, all clean and no trace of paint whatsoever. I look up at Ace, smiling.

"How did you get that out? I spent _hours_ trying to clean it! "

"I have a guy. He can get any kind of stain out. Don't worry about it," Ace waves me off.

"Wait, when did you even get it in the first place?"

"I had Luffy steal it when he went over for lunch, since I knew you'd probably be mad at me. So, are you mad anymore?"

"Thank you!" I crush him in a hug, "Wow, it's a good thing you found me so soon and gave this to me, I was planning on doing something really mean with Oyaji's widescreen later tonight. I forgive you."

"…Wait, what were you planning, May?"

I let go and beam at him, taking off my second favorite cardigan and slipping on the freshly cleaned one.

"Don't worry about it."

* * *

 **Author's Corner; Hey-a! Woo, an early update today! Superrrr! So, I have a question for you guys that I've been thinking about for a while: I sorta want to set aside a special chapter each month to do short little AU's with all the same characters. They would just be fun little oneshots, but I'd like to know what you guys think. Yay or nay?**

 **Jisca- Of course! You think an old man with that much energy is just gonna sit around and play Bingo? No, man, he's gotta keep things interesting.**

 **Awesome Guest- Yeah, yeah, just messing with ya :P Thanks!**

 **starrat- All in good time, my dear ; )**

 **littlecatbug22- Oo, I'll have to keep that in mind! I would need to find a way to make it humorous though, rather than serious...hm, I'll sleep on it! Thanks for that suggestion!**

 **SupremeGeneralJoker- You know what else hurts? A PHONEBOOK TO THE FACE, MAY CAN GET REKT (Haha, they didn't use real paint guns, I looked up some of the impact injuries, and _ouch man_ those suckers look like they hurt!)**

 **FSG Guest- *snap...snap...snap* (that's snapping like a 50's greaser towards you) It all worked out in the end, so you don't have to worry about Ace. Woo boy, May had some nasty revenge planned though, _woo!_**

 **YHR-Yunalesca (hope I spelled that right)- Yup, but it was only Marco and Ace this time that bore the brunt of May's wrath. Fortunately, they managed to make it up to her before she could get revenge :3c**

 **ADDBaby- Tide challenge? Haha, what's that? Am I missing something?**

 **Mkay, thanks for reading, stick around for more! (I'll proof read later, I have stuff to do, but I wanted to get this posted before I left) ((Edit: Did the proofreading and made some corrections. Thanks FSG Guest for pointing out my date mistakes I found out I did it for the last chapter too, like the complete dum-dum I am)**

 **-jj**


	27. Chapter 26: In Which I Take Pictures

**February 6/Saturday/7:30 am**

"Alright, here's the plan!" Luffy tells the eight of us, "Go down the street, burst in, and take her by surprise!"

"Yeah! Let's do it!" Usopp, Chopper, Sanji, and Franky cry.

"There's no way she can be surprised," Nami reminds everyone.

"No, she'll be surprised," Luffy says self-assuredly, "After all, it's a surprise!"

"Are we going to stand here talking or get on with it?" asks Zoro.

"Oi, people who show up late and make others wait for them have no room to talk," Sanji says.

"Shut up," Zoro replies ever-so eloquently.

"What are we waiting for, let's goooo!" Brook leads the way out the door and the rest of us follow.

A couple minutes later, we burst into Hana Books (Luffy first, of course) to greet Robin, who simply looks up from her book, smiling slightly.

"Happy Birthday!" we all cheer, and I present our friend with a birthday muffin with a little candle sticking out of the top.

"Thank you," she says calmly, "I was expecting you all, so I made some tea. Would you like some?"

"Ah, she wasn't surprised!" cries Luffy.

"I told you so," Nami tells him smugly.

"Oh," Robin looks blankly at the disappointed teen before she puts a hand on her cheek, "…I'm so surprised."

"Oh, she was surprised after all! I told you so," Luffy turns to Nami and gives her a thumbs up.

She laughs at his simple-mindedness and accepts a cup from the birthday girl, who smiles softly at Luffy.

"So Robin! We'll be having a party for you later today, at Luffy's place," I say as she blows out the candle on the muffin, "And we'll have cake, watch some movies, play some games, all good fun, and then, presents of course!"

"I'll look forward to it," she says, "Thank you everyone."

"You're welcome~!"

"Ah, Robin-chan, I love you!"

"May I see your panties?"

"Woo! Party! There's gonna be a lot of meat!"

* * *

 **9:45 am**

Ah, what a lovely day! The weather right now is bright and sunny, but not too warm, and it gives the café a sleepy sort of feeling. I have my puzzles out and Chou Chou is on the counter, watching over the café from his usual spot. I'm so glad that Luffy found him, he's the most well-behaved dog anyone could ask for.

"Isn't that right, Chou Chou?" I ask him in a ridiculous, baby-speak voice and ruffle his ears, but I don't care if it's ridiculous, "Who's a good pupper-schnupper?"

He gives me a deadpan stare, telling me just how ridiculous I'm being.

"Shut up, you know you love me," I blow in his face so he blinks and give him a kiss on the head.

The bell rings and Law walks in.

"Coffee."

"Bad day?" I ask.

"Night, and yes."

He takes a seat at the counter and leans his chin on his hand, closing his eyes. A small, furry white face peaks over his shoulder, and it's then that I notice that something is clinging to his back. The white furry creature with coal black eyes blinks at me.

"…Law, I don't want to alarm you, but I think there's a polar bear cub hanging on your back.

He cracks an eye open.

"That's a dog."

I blink at the animal, then at Law, then back at the animal.

"…A dog."

"Yes. A dog. A very rare breed that just so happens to look like a polar bear," he keeps a perfectly blank face as he says this.

"Does the 'dog' by any chance have anything to do with your bad night?" I ask him.

"I'm not at liberty to say."

"Right."

I line up six cups of coffee on the counter for him and he attacks them like Luffy and Ace do with food. Whoa, I didn't think anyone could do that.

The bell rings again and a customer comes in. I take a moment to scrutinize them. She looks familiar: pink scale-patterned leggings and a yellow shirt with a pink star, spiky green hair.

"Good morning," I say brightly, and then perk up," Ah, I remember now! You came here about a year ago. Let's see, green hair like Zoro, and Zoro likes green tea, something that rhymes with 'green tea', Keimi! And Keimi had five letters, replace the 'ei' with an 'o' because that's what your mouth looked like when Luffy crashed through the window on some kind of giant fish, put an 'f' where the 'm' is because it sounded like you were going to say a naughty word when he did crash through, and you get Kofi, which sounds like coffee. Your name is Keimi, and you ordered coffee, two sugars and a dash of cream!"

"What the hell, how do you know that?" she asks, looking extremely creeped out.

"I have a good memory," I tell her plainly, "For some things. Mostly just names and what people like to order."

She takes her coffee and leaves as quickly as she can, looking a bit frightened.

Law stares at me over the rim of his sixth cup of coffee already. I fill up the empty cups for him. He looks slightly put off as well.

"What?" I ask him.

"Nothing."

"So, what's the dog's name?"

"Bepo."

"Aw, that's cute," I say, and the little white 'dog' crawls onto Law's shoulders, leaning on top of his fluffy hat.

Law seems too tired to do anything about the animal, so lets it do what it wants.

I wonder if he'd let me pet it.

* * *

 **12:00 pm**

"Hellooo~! I have arrived to bring you a special birthday lunch!" I call as I enter the bookstore, carrying a bento box for Robin; I was really bored at the café and Sanji told me earlier that Luffy was with him for lunch today. Well, eating by myself is no fun at all, so I thought I would pop in to see Robin and make her lunch for her special day.

Huh, she's not at the front counter, maybe she's in the back? She could have left for lunch, but the sign in the window says open, so that's unlikely.

"Robin?" I call, looking around the store.

I wander around, glancing behind shelves to make sure she's not hiding. I come to the back storeroom and open it up.

"Robin…? Ro-Oh."

I take in the scene before me.

Robin is sitting on the table. Franky is here, too. Robin's shirt is off. Franky has her legs wrapped around his waist (he's still wearing a speedo.) It is very obvious that they were just making out. And heavily, by the looks of it. They're both frozen, staring at me in something akin to horror.

"Please excuse me," I say and quickly shut the door.

A second later, I open it again.

"Also, I made you lunch," I set the obento-bako on the floor and quickly slam the door shut again.

A second later I open it again and start snapping pictures rapidly.

"HAHAHAHAHA, OH MY GOD!" I laugh, still snapping pictures with my phone, and they both jump up, Robin pulling on her shirt, while Franky runs at me.

Time to go.

I slam the door shut and dash for the exit, laughing uncontrollably.

"MAY! GET BACK HERE!" Franky yells at me, bursting out of the back room.

"Hell no! Happy birthday, Robin! See you two tonight!"

Oh, this is awesome! I hardly ever get blackmail photos of those two, especially Robin. This is _so_ going in my Blackmail folder. But, I have to get away I can hear Franky right behind me. I see a bright orange hat bobbing up the street and run towards it.

"Oi, Ace!" I call and he turns around from his motorcycle where he was getting on it, "I need your help!"

He looks at me, and then the angry Franky yelling curses at me and chasing me down Red Line.

"Hop on!"

Without hesitating, I jump on behind him and wrap my arms around his stomach.

"Drive, man, drive!" I'm still laughing, I can't help it!

" _May, get back here and erase those pictures!_ " Franky screams, quickly falling behind as Ace revs the engine and speeds forward.

I can't respond, I'm laughing too hard. It's seems it's contagious, because Ace gives a little chuckle as well.

"What dirt did you get on him?" he asks.

"Oh— _oh_!," I gasp for air, trying to calm down my fits of giggles, "There's no way I'm telling you, but it is _golden_."

"Aw, now I'm really curious!"

I grin to myself and hold on a little tighter as he takes a turn.

Robin and Franky, who would have thought? I giggle again. I won't tell anyone, because that's up to them, but they don't have to know that. Ah~, a great addition to my Blackmail folder indeed.

"Want to go find some divey restaurant and get lunch?" I offer; I probably shouldn't go back to the café for a bit, unless I have witnesses.

"Hell yeah!"

* * *

 **3:00 pm**

I was completely right.

After Ace and I found a small hole-in-the-wall diner in the Alabasta district and the man nearly ate the entire place to the ground and then, since neither of us had money on us, had to run away without paying (which I felt a bit bad for, but it was kinda thrilling), we came back to the café to find Franky waiting for us. He then tried to steal my phone and open it, but since he didn't know the password, he was left frustrated.

I laughed smugly at him as he trudged out of the café, and I went to the back to the kitchen to finish Robin's cake for tonight.

Ah, good times, good times.

Luffy came in a while later to 'help' with the cake (meaning here, hang off my waist while I decorated it, lick the frosting bowl, and stick his finger through the top of the cake).

We're now sitting across from each other, enjoying a midafternoon snack, and chatting.

"We need to go and buy some kites soon," I remind him.

"Oh yeah, that's right! Also, I want hot pot for dinner."

"No, no, we can't because we're having the party tonight, remember? We can have it tomorrow if you'd like."

"Hot poooooot," he pouts, "You can have hot pot at a party."

"I mean, I guess, but—"

The door opens and a lady walks in. Oh geez, it's that crazy lady who was here a while ago, the one that tried to kick Chou Chou and then _did_ kick Luffy.

In the face.

Luffy doesn't turn around because he's become preoccupied with his food. And also, poking Chou Chou in the face.

Op, look at that, Chou Chou just bit him.

"Listen up!" she says loudly, pointing a finger at me, "I'm looking for someone, and you will help me! The person I'm looking for has a straw hat and a scar under his eye. He was here a few weeks ago, do you know where he is?"

"Huh? Why are you looking for someone with a straw hat? Sounds like a weird person," Luffy turns around to face her, my little dog hanging off of his finger by his teeth.

"Yeah, what kind of weirdo wears a straw hat?" I say, "Sorry, don't know anyone like that."

But, she's not listening to me.

She's looking straight at Luffy.

"I-It's you!" she breathes.

Uh-oh, is she going to attack him or my dog again? Just in case, I reach for a phonebook.

However, blushing like a tomato, she steps up to Luffy.

"My name is Hancock," she says, placing a hand over her heart, "May I know your name?"

"I am Luffy."

"Luffy?" she repeats, and looks close to fainting. Again.

She holds her cheeks and blushes even more.

"So, that's your name. I haven't stopped thinking about you since we had our fateful encounter."

Dear god, am I watching some soap opera or something? Is she about to do something incredibly cheesy like profess her undying love? I think I might be sick.

Luffy stares blankly at her.

"Who are you again? Have we met?"

Oh geez, she really does look like she's fainting now— _oh my god, she just fainted._

* * *

 **3:30 pm**

We set the lady on a couch, again, and I picked up her phone so I could call someone to come collect her. Because, if she was going to be unconscious for as long as last time, it would be a problem because we need to get to Robin's party. The first Emergency contact I found listed was a person named 'Elder Nyon.' I gave the person a call, and whoever picked up sounded like a very old lady with an interesting speech quirk.

The door slams open and it takes me and Luffy a moment to focus on the small-statured elderly women that comes shuffling into the café.

"Well, I'm here nyow!" she says, "Where is my ungrateful, strong-headed brat?"

I point wordlessly to the sofa and the lady shuffles over and with surprising strength, picks up the much taller woman.

"Thank you for taking care of her, nyo. I shall take my leave."

Before she starts walking though, she pulls up short and takes a good, long hard look at me. Then, the metaphorical lightbulb goes off and she gives a small yelp.

"You! I've been looking for you! Dnyon't move from this place, I will be back soon!" she yells and with that, rushes out the door.

A moment of silence falls.

"What on Red Line is happening?" I ask Luffy.

"Beats me. People are so weird."

"You can say that again."

* * *

 **6:00 pm**

We decided to head over to Luffy and Ace's apartment early, in case any more strange women decided they wanted to come to the café looking for us. We walked there, and enjoyed telling stories to each other, some we had already heard from the other, some were new.

When we got to the apartment, Ace was walking around in just a towel.

"At least put on some pants," I told him as I slid the cake into their fridge, moving aside large slices of meat, an expired carton of milk, and a welding torch to make room for it, "People will be here soon."

"But the breeze feels nice!" he said, leaning on the fridge door next to me, completely unconcerned by his lack of decency.

"Wear a kilt or something then, or a skirt, I don't care."

"You're a genius, May!...Oh, I don't think I have either of those though."

"Not my problem."

"Okay, towel it is!"

" _Go put on some pants, idiot!"_

It wasn't long before everyone arrived.

Presents were stacked up on the table, waiting to be opened, food was set out, and drinks were poured.

"A very Happy Birthday to our beloved Robin-chan!" Sanji toasts.

"And many more to come!" Nami adds in.

We all drain our drinks and cheer, breaking off into smaller conversations.

"Franky! I heard the good news!" Usopp smacks his friend's arm, and he and Robin both stiffen.

"What?! We're not-where did you hear-I mean-news, what news, there's no news, what is news anyway?" the blue-haired man laughs nervously.

"That your big bro is on the city council now?" Usopp looks at him in confusion, "Why are you so jumpy?"

"I haven't had any soda yet! Yeah, that's why. Excuse me while I get some."

I can see Robin breathe a sigh of relief as she listens to Zoro complain about the kids he instructs. I grin. Oh, these crazy kids and their secret relationship.

"So, movie or dinner first?" Brook asks everyone.

"Dinner!"

"I want hot pot!"

"Luffy, all of the food is already made, we're not having hot pot."

* * *

 **8:00 pm**

After eating (Luffy was still insisting on hot pot, but since food is food, he ate everything he could get his hands on anyway), we stuck in a movie (Robin's choice, of course, since it's her birthday). It was another historical document and everyone was out like a light fifteen minutes into it. Then she opened her presents (mine was a plushie of a Chinese dragon; Robin has a weakness for cute things, and when she opened it, she blushed and said "I-It's cute", trying to keep her cool) and we brought out the cake, and sing a horrible, horrible rendition of 'Happy Birthday'.

Luffy tries to drown out everyone else, and got some pots and pans to add percussion, Zoro can't really sing worth a damn and neither can I, Usopp tries to conduct us all, but he's way off beat, and Brook attempts to add some bluesy spirit to it by singing in a jazz-style.

All in all, we suck, but nobody cares as Robin blows out the candles and I cut up the cake to pass it around.

Then, we stick in another movie—a historical document again—and half of the party is out before the credits finish. Robin and Franky sit together on the couch, with me on the other side, as Robin hugs the dragon (we named it Ryuunosuke).

I lean my head on her shoulder and pull out my phone. I unlock it and erase the pictures I took of her and Franky earlier today, showing her that they're gone.

"Thank you, May," she tells me quietly.

"Think of it as a birthday gift," I smile and peck her cheek, "You guys have my blessing, but you're going to have to tell everyone sometime, you know."

"We know."

We settle down and watch the movie.

"...So, have you guys done it yet?"

I laugh as I get slapped upside the head by both Robin and Franky.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Okay, I'm late today because I got caught up reading fanfiction, haha! Sorry about that. Anyway, here we are, and Happy Birthday, Robin!**

 **starrat- Aww, thank you my little ray of sunshine! You're so nice**

 **FSG Guest- Yup, you don't think Paula would win do you? Heck no! And hey, May isn't _completely_ dense...just maybe lacking the skills to pick up on social cues.**

 **ADDBaby- Oooh, I see, I see, and yeah, I do know Roosterteeth, tho I haven't watched a lot of their stuff :D They're pretty funny!**

 **SupremeGeneralJoker- Heehee, there'll be other opportunities for May's wrath, don't you worry!**

 **KHR-Yunalesca- Darn! Sorry, I was super tired when I wrote out the reviews. But thanks for the feedback, the month issue was pointed out and fixed, and stay tuned for the special chapters very soon! Thanks!  
**

 **Awesome Guest- Woo! That's awesome to hear, I'm glad that it feels like 'One Piece' to you!**

 **Star Captain Leigh- Yup! Things will be escalating sometime in the near future, so look forward to it! Paula's gonna become a major pain in the butt. It'll be fun :)**

 **Alright, thanks for reading and stick around!**

 **-jj**


	28. Chapter 26-5: AU Within An AU-1

**The AU Within An AU: High-rise Living AU**

* * *

 **Quick lil' Author's Corner: Hey-a! So, I have something I'd like to do. Starting this month, I'll be writing little oneshots set in different AU's! I'd love to hear your guys' suggestions for AU's to do, so let me know**!

* * *

May and Ace were sitting out in the hallway floor again, playing a game of War. A few tenants passed by, all offering their sympathies, or stopping briefly to see who was winning.

"Ha! King against a six, suck on that!" May cheers, collecting her's and Ace's cards.

The lift dings, signaling that someone has arrived on their level and they look over to see May's neighbor from the left, Law, step out. He takes one look at them and sighs.

"Are those two at it again?"

"Yup," they both answer and lay down their next cards; Ace takes them.

Law quietly walks over to them, sets down his bag, and lies out on the ground, face down.

"Wake me up when they're done, I just got off a fifteen hour shift at the hospital and would like to see my bed soon."

"We'll probably be here a while, Torao, they only recently started," Ace tells the poor man, but all he gets is a half-asleep 'hm' in reply.

They hear some angry footsteps stomping up the staircase, and the door at the end of the hall bangs open.

" _Could those two be any more fucking loud?"_

Eustass Kidd, the guy that lives below May looks downright furious as he storms down the hall.

"What are you talking about, Red?" Ace asks him, "They already _are_ fucking loud. Literally."

"Haha, you're hilarious," he bites out sarcastically.

"Aren't I, though?"

"Eustass-ya, shut up," Law grumbles, "You're too loud."

"I'm too loud? _I'm_ too loud?! What about those two freaks in there?" he points a thumb angrily at the door that has a doorhanger advertisement for the restaurant 'Pho King' hanging off the handle; he slams the heel of his boot against it, "Oi! Listen up, you fuckers! Some of us have work in the morning and would appreciate a little quiet!"

"Kidd, if you leave a hole in my door again, you're paying damages," May warns him as she takes Ace's card, "You might as well sit and play a game with us, or sleep like Law, and wait until they're finished. They won't stop even if you kick down the door."

The red-haired man huffs and takes a seat next to Ace to wait it out.

The two playing War both lay down a five.

"War!"

"Oh, it's on!"

"May?"

She glances up from their game to see the girl who recently moved in above her, a sweet girl named Vivi, approaching.

"Is everything alright? I heard a terrible racket coming from downstairs. Why is everyone out here?"

"Walls are too thin," Law explains tiredly.

"Walls are too thin," Ace agrees, laying out three cards.

"I can hear those damn assholes though the ceiling," Kidd growls.

Ace and May both lay down their final cards.

"Ha! I win!" she cheers, before she turns to Vivi to explain.

"Luffy and Nami are bumping uglies in there. Wanna play a game of War?"

* * *

It was laundry day.

May shuffles down to the lift, carrying the hefty basket of dirty clothes in front of her.

Just before the doors slide shut, a door in the hallway burst open and she hears quick footsteps. A hand grabs the doors by a fraction and Ace gets in, smiling at her.

"Laundry day?" he asks, looking down at the clothes she carries.

"Laundry day," she confirms.

The elevator stops at the floor below and Kidd gets on. His face explodes into an angry red.

"Will you put on some fucking pants?" he snaps at her, "And a shirt while you're at it?"

Ace makes frantic 'knock it out, are you a moron' gestures at him, but May just smiles as she stands there in a bra, underwear, and her only clean cardigan.

"But it's laundry day."

"Red, will you shut up and enjoy the moment?" Ace tells him.

They stop at the ground floor; Kidd and Ace both leave (Ace taking one last, _long_ look at May's chest), and Law gets on, hardly noticing her wardrobe with his nose buried in a medical journal.

"Going down," May says, and he finally looks up; he freezes for a moment and his eyes stop above the load of laundry she carries, but quickly recovers.

"Ah, laundry day, May-ya?"

"Laundry day," she nods.

They ride down to the basement where the dryers and washers are, the doctor occasionally taking discreet glances over the pages of his reading at the woman beside him. Mostly at her boobs.

"Well, here's my stop," she hefts the basket higher in her arms and Law holds the doors open for her as she gets out, "Coming over for dinner tonight?"

"Would be my pleasure."

"Great!"

"See you then."

"Oh, Law?" she says as she sets down her basket on the washer.

"Hm?"

May grins and pulls open her cardigan that was barely covering her to begin with to give him a better view of her bra.

"Isn't it cute? I got it yesterday."

He dives behind his journal again as the lift slides shut, burying his face to hide it.

May laughs and sticks her clothes into the wash. Laundry day is always fun.

* * *

She jolts awake when she hears someone's alarm go off. Falling back down on her pillow, she figures out it's coming through the wall, that would be Law's room on the other side. Sighing, she listens to him get out of bed and after a few moments she does the same.

May heads to the kitchen and tries to be as quiet as possible making coffee so that she doesn't wake Nami up.

The front door opens and Ace walks in and unceremoniously throws himself into an armchair, at least he didn't slam it open.

"Morning," he yawns, "Heard'ya making coffee."

"Yeah, Law's leaving for work," she tells him, pouring a cup and handing it over.

"Does that guy ever sleep?"

"Yes, I do, thank you very much."

The two jump at the doctor's presence. He takes a seat on the sofa quietly.

"Morning, Law. Coffee?"

"Yes, please."

May brings him a cup as well as one for herself.

"What time is it?" she yawns and takes a sip.

"2:30 in the morning," says Law, "Sorry for waking you."

She waves him off, yawning widely again.

"S'okay, I was gonna wake up soon anywho."

"I was awake already," Ace informs them, even though neither of them really needed to know.

The three of them were somewhat infamous throughout the high-rise for their strange sleeping hours. What with Law being a doctor, he was often called away in the early hours of the morning or late at night; May, being a baker, woke early every day as well; and Ace, with his narcolepsy, would often be awake at unusual hours because he fell asleep during the day. They had been dubbed the Odd Hours crew by many of the buildings residents. Zoro would sometimes join them in the morning as well, since he often didn't go to sleep until four.

"You really should get some more sleep," Ace tells the doctor as he pokes his cheek, "You could easily hold a wallet, lipstick, phone, and some loose change with the bags under your eyes."

"Stop touching me," Law has an annoyed tick on his forehead.

"No, no, you could go grocery shopping with those bags!"

"May-ya, tell him to stop."

"Ace, stop."

"Seriously, what brand are they? Dolce Gabana? Doskoi Panda?"

"Did you think me telling him to stop would do anything, Law?"

"Worth a shot. _Will you stop that!?"_

Without any more words, Law snatches Ace's finger away from his face and starts throttling him.

"Fight, fight, fight, fight!" May cheers as the two struggling men as they roll around.

" _Shut up, you guys are so loud_!"

"Sorry, Nami!"

* * *

Ace, May, and Luffy all get home at the same time. They enter the high-rise together, and read in horror the sign hanging off the elevator.

' _Lift broken, please use stairs until fixed_.'

"Oh boy," May says blankly, "The stairs."

"Maybe if we're lucky, everyone will still be out?" Ace asks hopefully.

"We need a battle plan," Luffy decides firmly.

"Okay, what's the plan?" May and Ace ask the younger D brother.

He nods and puts his hands on his hips seriously.

"Run like hell and hope they don't catch us."

"Ah, that's a good plan."

"Right?"

"Let's go!"

Some explanation is probably in order. You see, in this building, whoever designed the stairs was, to put it simply, a complete imbecile. Rather than have one continuous staircase easily accessible from all floors, it had a staircase that every ten floors, switched to the opposite side of the hall. The three of them lived on the twenty second floor, meaning they had to go through two hall ways to reach their apartments.

These two floors they had to cross were incidentally two of the most infamous halls in the entire building, and were often avoided as much as possible by anyone who didn't live on those levels.

Why?

Well, the first hall was the home of many…eccentric and very…enthusiastic artists. If you weren't careful when you crossed this hall, you could easily become one of the resident's latest live works of art.

The second hall…well, you'll see in a moment.

(The other infamous halls of the high-rise were higher up. They included the all-female hallway that was dubbed 'Amazon Lily' and was best to be avoided if you were male, and the mysterious 51st floor in a building with 50 floors that had been named Skypiea and nobody knew if it was real or not.)

The first hall was the artists'. Ace peaks his head out of the stairwell door and looks around.

"All clear," he whispers, "Everything looks good."

He motions for them to follow him and they creep as quietly down the hall as they can. However, a door bursts open and all hell breaks loose.

"New models!" a man with hair styled into a three yells, "Wonderful! You'll make excellent candles."

"Run!" May screams and the three start booking it down the hall as more and more doors open.

"Stop right there!" a colorful lady with red and yellow hair shrieks, "I need people to paint classic works of art on! You'll look beautiful in Picasso!"

"I need a nude model!"

"I need some of your hair for my paintbrush!"

They duck, dive under, and leap over the crazed artists (maybe punching a few in the face…but only because they took them by surprise) and make it to the other side in one piece and immediately sprint up the stairs.

"Made it," May pants as she takes a moment to bend over her knees; being the considerably more out of shape of the three, the sprint took more out of her than it did the brothers.

"Good job, May," Ace pats her back.

"Yeah, really good!" Luffy agrees, "Now all we need to worry about is that floor!"

"Woo," May cheers weakly.

"Well, no use waiting, let's get it over with!"

They make their way to the end of the staircase and take a moment to collect themselves.

"Let's just start running right off the bat, there's no use trying to sneak by these guys," Luffy whispers.

"Agreed."

Without further ado, they burst through the door into a world of lights, glitter, and fishnets. Lots and lots of fishnets.

"Welcome~~~ to Newkama Land!"

" _Run_!"

May, Ace, and Luffy arrive on their floor, panting and wheezing (well, it's mostly May doing that, but the other two are slightly out of breath as well.)

"Dear god, I thought that was the end!" May says as she sits down on the ground.

"At least they didn't get all of us," Luffy laughs at his brother, who is sporting a pair of thigh high socks, a garter belt, and stilettos.

"Hey, these are surprisingly comfy. I feel like I could take on the world in these heels."

May's door opens and Nami pokes her head out.

"Oh, May, good, you're home. Nojiko sent some oranges today, and also, we have a leak in the sink."

The orange-haired woman is wearing a corset and garter belt. She looks knowingly at Ace.

"Newkama Land?"

"Newkama Land."

"Aren't tights the best?"

"Yes! I never knew how great they were!"

May shakes her head. What a crazy place she lives in.

* * *

May taps the spoon on the side of the soup pot, and takes a quick sip of it. Mm, perfect.

"Nami! Soups' on!" she calls to the woman she shares the apartment with and turns off the flame. Then, she knocks on the wall above the stove.

"Luffy! Ace! I made dinner if you want some," then the opposite wall, "Law, come and have some soup!"

There is some crashing from Ace and Luffy's side.

"We'll be right over!" it's slightly muffled, but her neighbor's voices carry clearly through the thin walls. Really, May doesn't know why they haven't just demolished the walls between them yet, it wasn't like it would any difference to their current arrangement. It would make going between the apartments easier, but the sound levels probably wouldn't change in the slightest.

"What kind of soup?" May jumps slightly at Law's voice; geez, it sounds like he's right next to her! See what she means?

"Beef and gnocchi, it's really good."

The door bursts open and the brothers rush in, taking a seat at the dining table, the very old and battered Quintin. Law shortly follows and Nami comes out from her room as well. May hefts the large soup pot over and places it soundly on the table, making the wooden top bend and groan slightly at the weight.

"Alright, dig in!"

Soup goes splashing everywhere as everyone tries to fill up their bowls at the same time, Luffy and Ace fight over the ladle, Nami throws her spoon at Luffy and takes the ladle for herself, then passes it to Law, who smacks Luffy's hand when the teen tries to take the entire soup pot for himself.

"Hey, what's cooking? Smells great!" a head of red hair pops through the open doorway; Shanks, one of the guys who lives on the very top floor, grabs and seat and plops down into it uninvited.

"Oh, we're having soup tonight? Eh, I was feeling lamp chops, but I guess it'll do," Usopp, who lives across the hall from Ace and Luffy grabs the ladle from Shanks and takes a sip from it.

"Gross, don't put your mouth on it! We don't want your cooties," Nami barks at him.

"Hm, the soup's good."

When the hell did Zoro get here and serve himself a bowl?

"Thought I smelled May's cooking! Looks tasty."

Annnd now Franky and Robin are here, the couple that lives across from May and Nami.

"Oi, there are too many people in my dining room," protests May.

"Yohoho, always room for one more!"

"Gah! Chopper, don't take all of the soup, I still haven't gotten any!"

"Pass the salt, yoi."

"Here you are, Marco."

"May, more soup please!"

"Whew, it's a good thing I made a second pot. And a third. And a fourth."

"Ah! Quintin broke under all the weight of the soup!"

May laughs at the chaos that is her dining room as just about the entire building's residents seem to cram into her home; it's another normal evening for the tenants, and none of them would have it any other way.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! So, here we are, the first AU within an AU :D If you can't tell, it's an Au where all of them live together in high-rise apartments. I would love to know what you guys think and if you have any suggestions for following AU's. There will only be one chapter like this a month, so don't worry about the main story, it's not going anywhere! This is just a little fun something I'd like to do on the side.**

 **Thanks for reading, stick around!**

 **-jj**


	29. Chapter 27: In Which Things Get Windy

**February 8/Monday/7:30 am**

I wake up blearily to the sound of an alarm going off. Ugh, where is it coming from? It's so annoying and I just want to sleep. Last night was a late night for me.

Fumbling around blindly, I finally feel my phone is what's making the horrible sound and pick it up to squint at the screen. Why is it so blurry? Oh, right, I don't have my glasses or my contacts on. I pat my hand over the bed (I accidentally grab Chou Chou's foot and he wakes up with a start) until I locate my glasses and shove them lopsidedly onto my face.

' _Weather alert: Hurricane proximity alert. Not expected to hit Grand Line, but be prepared for strong winds._ '

I push the glasses onto my forehead and look out the window.

' _Huh, it really is blowing out there. Is that a person flying in the wind? Wow, it must be extremely strong then.'_

I watch the poor guy struggle to get back down to the ground, at the complete mercy of the weather. Then, I lay back down and go back to sleep.

What? I'm tired as hell.

Like I said, it was a late night. It's all sort of a blur of explosions, dinosaurs, glitter, and at some point a laser fight?

I think.

* * *

 **8:20 am**

"GooooooOOOOD MORNING!"

It's all the warning I get before someone dives on top of me, thoroughly waking me up in the process, and my back gives out several unpleasant-sounding _cracks_! as they crush me in a hug.

" _Oof_!"

"Cannonball!"

Another someone decides to join the pile on top of my bed and he crashes down on us.

All wind has left my body at this point, so I can't yell at the people on top of me to _get the hell off_. I wiggle around and see that it is my very own pair of rambunctious brothers who are squishing the life out of me.

" _GetoffIneedair_ ," I manage to wheeze out and feebly try to push them out of my bed.

"Request denied, more dogpile is in order!" Luffy laughs.

"What are you still doing in bed for, May? We've got a lot to accomplish!" says Ace, at least falling to my side so I have less weight on top of me, unlike his brother who remains sitting on me.

"I went to bed at five, gimme a break," I moan.

"No! We have things to do! Places to see, stuff to wreck!" Luffy says, shaking my shoulder as I try to pull the sheets over my head.

I sigh. Well, no point trying to sleep now, not with these two here.

"Okay, okay, I'm up," I roll over so that Luffy topples onto Ace, "Let's have breakfast first though."

"Woo, food!" the brothers both cheer and jump up after disentangling themselves.

"By the way, we might have broken your front door," Ace calls back as they chase each other out the door.

I sigh. My poor café. But, what can you do?

I slip out of bed and pull my cardigan on over my pj's and grab my glasses and then follow them downstairs.

* * *

 **9:45 am**

As we're finishing eating, Nami struts in and sets up her laptop without so much as a 'good morning.'

"Hi, Nami!" Luffy waves to her from the counter, "What'chya doing?"

"Red Lie is currently experiencing the craziest winds than any other part of the city. I'm here to record them. Hope you don't mind, May," she adds as an afterthought as she types away on her computer with rapid _clickedy-click-clicks_!

"Sure. Well, I mean, no, I don't mind."

The door slams open and in blows a windswept-looking Paula, hand on her hip with her hair whipping around and getting in the way of her face.

"Hello!" I call; I wonder what she's doing here?

"I found your mutt peeing on my café," she holds up Chou Chou by the scruff of his neck.

"Oh, sorry, he must've gotten out through the front door. It's broken you see," I laugh. How kind of her to return him! I would've worried if he ran off and got lost.

"Well, keep him off my property," she crosses her arms; I think she might be a little upset, but I can't be sure since her hair is still a frizzy mess obscuring her face, "You don't seem to have many customers today. What a pity. My café is bursting at capacity right now."

"I'm closed today," I blink at her, didn't she see the sign? Oh, maybe she couldn't because of her hair, "These are my friends, not customers. Although, they really need to start paying me for all the food they eat."

I lightly smack Ace's arm and he makes a noise of protest, but otherwise continues to drink his coffee.

"May doesn't owe you an explanation! If she _was_ open, I'm sure she'd have twice as many people as you do right now. Why don't you go back to your oh-so-busy café?" Nami says hostilely, "Or better yet, go get squished by a house, witch."

"Nami! Don't be rude!" I throw a phone book at her, but not at full speed; it bounces off her head to the floor and she gives me the stink eye. What is it with her and Paula? Why do they not like each other?

"Hmph, maybe I will! I can't be bothered with the likes of you. But mark my words: I'll get you one of these days, my pretty! And your little dog too!"

She cackles as she exits the café, only to get knocked over by a bicycle caught on the wind.

"Good riddance," Nami sticks out her tongue at her.

"Nami, you are going to get me in so much trouble one of these days if you keep messing with my personal affairs," I sigh, "What did Paula ever do to you? She's such a nice woman."

"No, May, she's an unpleasant witch who's trying to steal your business! Just you wait and see. I'm sticking up for you."

"Well, thanks. I guess."

"Nami can be so scary when she's mad," Luffy whispers to Ace.

"Yeah, a real force to be reckoned with. Almost like a real witch!"

" _I heard that, you jerks_."

* * *

 **12:00 pm**

The D bros have left to go get a few things ready for today. Nami has fortified herself at Quintin with blankets and pillows and has not stopped typing away for a couple hours now (except to eat whatever little snack I put in front of her or drink tea, of course.)

However, at noon, a little old lady comes shuffling into the café.

"Sorry, we're closed—Wah! You!" I point at her from the counter where I'm sitting filling out Sudoku puzzles.

"You! Where have you been, I told you not to move!" she points her walking cane at me sternly—it's the lady that came to get Hancock.

"I had things to do."

"Well, I need you to come with me right nyow!"

"Uhm, no?" I tell her, glancing down at the end of her cane that's pointed directly at my nose, "It's my lazy day, there's no way I'm going to spend it with some person I don't even know."

She finally lowers her cane and her stern disposition suddenly changes.

"Oh, how rude of me. I am Gloriosa, but you may call me Elder Nyon. I am the former director of the Amaznyon Lily!"

From the way she said it, it was probably meant to be impressive, but I just blink uncomprehendingly.

"Er, sorry, I don't know what that is."

"Do you live under a rock?!" she yells at me, back to her loud self again.

"Basically."

"Amazon Lily, the famous women's fashion brand?" Nami has sparkles in her eyes as she looks up from her laptop, "The company famous for producing every style from social gowns to sportswear, that's Headquarters is actually the entire gated community in the Calm Belt district, that runs its own fashion magazine and has an entire force of models, that is super elite and incredibly private and insanely prosperous? That Amazon Lily?!"

"Yes, yes, we are quite a big deal. And so," Elder Nyon hits her cane firmly to the ground for emphasis, "I am offering you a job as a model."

I stare at her blankly. Did I hear her correctly?

"…What? Hell no."

"But I need you! We are preparing for our spring bathing suit line, and our top three models will be show casing them, but nyone of them can wear the bikini sets. And you!" the old lady reaches into her bag and pulls out the pictures of...Wait, are those…? "I was fortunate enyough to be given these by a dashing young gentleman and I knew immediately, you are perfect! Bust 105, Waist 68, Hips 85, you're nearly on par with the current director and top model."

"You can tell my measurements just by seeing a picture of me?! That's so creepy!" I knew it! Thatch, that sonnuva bitch for taking those pictures of me in a bikini and handing them out to strange ladies. If I hadn't already gotten my revenge on him, I would be sorely tempted to string him up again, "Look, either way, I'm not interested. I don't know the first thing about modeling, so thank you, but I refuse you're offer."

"You will be paid most handsomely," she says desperately.

"No," I stand and march huffily towards the stairs, done with this conversation.

What I don't know is that Nami turns to the woman after I leave, grinning widely.

"Please ignore her, she doesn't know what she's saying. She'd love to do it. Now, let's talk money."

* * *

 **3:00 pm**

Me and Nami are discussing what the outcome of a fight between Luffy, Zoro, and a pineapple would be when the door (well, it's better to say what remains of it) is thrown open and Hancock steps inside, her hair whipping around her majestically unlike Paula's earlier today, and walking very slowly as if she's on a runway and the stage has been coated in molasses.

"You," she points a perfectly manicured finger at me, "I require your aid."

"Uhhhhh…" Is the only thing I can say as I stare at her. Are people not seeing the 'CLOSED' sign on the door today? Do I need to make it bigger? Or get one that lights up?

"It has come to my attention that you are 'friends' with the one I want," she continues, cutting off my unintelligible reply.

Oh, I think she means Luffy. I snap into defensive mode.

"Look, what do you want with Luffy? He's my friend, so if you're going to try and hurt him, I'm going to stop you."

Yeah right, she looks like she could easily crush skulls with her thighs and I have zero combat ability (or strength to back it up for that matter), so in reality, it is quite possible there's nothing I could do against this fierce and beautiful woman. But she doesn't need to know that.

"What do I want with him? His love!" she proclaims boldly, without a hint of embarrassment, And since you're his friend, you'll help me get close to him."

Both Nami and I are staring at her, hardly able to move from being stunned; either this woman is incredibly romantic or incredibly crazy. I'd be willing to bet it's the latter.

I shake my head to bring myself out of my stupor.

"Why would I help you?" I ask, crossing my arms; it's not like I know this lady. In fact, I don't. At all.

She flips her glossy black hair and says confidentially.

"Why? Because, I'm beautiful! And I desire to be close to that man, because I love him."

"Well, I guess it's true, you are quite pretty—hold up, hold up. _Love him_?! You've seen him like, twice. How in all of Grand Line is that enough to declare you love him?"

"Obviously you wouldn't understand!" she huffs with self-importance, "It was love at first sight for him and I. Love is always a hurricane like that!"

Funnily enough, or not so funnily at all, as she says this, the entire front of the café is ripped away by the insane winds outside.

I shriek at the destruction of my café, but Hancock doesn't seem to be effected by it. She simply stands there, her hair flying perfectly around her.

"May! It seems the hurricane suddenly changed directions!" Nami yells over the howling winds, "Sorry, I didn't notice it, I wasn't paying attention!"

"It's fine, but should we go somewhere safe now that it's here!"

"No, probably best to wait it out!"

" _Woo-hoo! Grab onto to something!_ "

" _I got it! Oof!_ "

We look up to see two people flying through the air, one holding a kite, while the other latches onto a lamppost outside the café.

It's Ace and Luffy.

"Hey there!" Ace calls to me, grinning as he and Luffy are kept horizontal by the wind and he clings onto the lamppost, the other arm wrapped around his brother, who's holding onto a kite string with all his strength, "Good weather to be flying kites, don't you think?"

"I almost forgot!" I exclaim, "Hold on a sec, guys, let me go get my things!"

With that I dash upstairs to grab my windbreaker and a kite, then sprint back down (I find Hancock has fainted at the sight of Luffy, but I don't really care about her right now.)

Laughing, I unwind the string and let the kite start catching the wind.

"Wait, May, if you do that—!" Ace lets go of his and Luffy's anchor and lunges at me, grabbing my waist in the nick of time and then we're shooting through the air, pulled by the kite.

"Ah, don't leave me behind!"

The three of us (Luffy included because when Ace let go, he was no longer rooted in place and started being pulled along again) look behind to see Nami pull out a kite and let it catch the storming wind as well.

So here we are being swept down Red Line by kites caught in a hurricane. It's scary, but all of us are laughing and screaming like it's a rollercoaster.

"How are we going to land?!" Nami yells.

"No idea!"

"We'll get there when we get there!"

" _Ahhhhhhh_!"

" _Hahahaha!"_

* * *

 **6:00 pm**

A couple hours later, we finally walk back to the café, shaky and breathless and all of our hair is an absolute mess with twigs and leaves in them, but we're happy and laughing.

"Oh my gosh, we're so lucky that tree was there to break our fall!" I gasp for air as I step inside. I'll call Franky tomorrow to see if he can come over and fix the demolished wall. If not, well, the café's been in worse shape before, it'll live.

"Yes, and I'm lucky Luffy was there to break _my_ fall," Nami laughs.

"That was awesome! We should do that more, and not just on Kite Flying Day!" Luffy says, and then trips over a lump on the floor, "Huh? What is this lady doing here? Hey, it's that weird lady!"

"Leave her be, Lu, let's have dinner, I'm starving."

"Okay!"

Ace picks a few leaves and twigs out of my ponytail as we all head to the kitchen, where the wall _isn't_ destroyed and therefore is protected from the strong winds. The hurricane has passed, but it's still very windy.

"What do you all want to eat?"

"Hot pot! You promised, May."

"That sounds good."

"I'll eat anything."

"Yes, Ace, we know you will."

"Yeah, you're like a vacuum. A vacuum with a black hole at the center. You and Luffy."

"Oi, I object to your treatment, Nami."

"Too bad."

"She's right Ace, you do eat anything! It's freaky."

" _I don't want to hear that from_ you _, Luffy."_

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Does anyone remember a time where I updated on the right day?...Haha, me neither. And hey! I decided to make a tumblr for this penname, so if you want to see some fanart of this story (don't have any right now, but there'll be some soon) or One Piece in general, or just shoot me an ask, it's jazzinjuke over there**

 **KHR-Yunalesca- Lol , she suuuuure did (*Birthday sex plays in the background*) ANYWAY, glad you liked it!**

 **FSG Guest- *finger snaps at blows off finger like a cool cowboy's gun* Well, now you know! I didn;t want to keep you guys waiting for Elder Nyon too long, so here she is and she's here to stay! As a side note, Keimi seems like an easily surprised person-er, mermaid, haha!**

 **ADDBaby- Takes a weird person to know a weird person :P**

 **starrat- Thanks! Your little comments always cheer me up ^-^**

 **SupremeGeneralJoker- EEEE, I'm super happy to hear that! It means I'm doing a good job!**

 **Awesome Guest- Heehee, I hope you liked the rest of the chapter too?**

 **Thanks for reading and sticking around!**

 **-jj**


	30. Chapter 28: In Which There Are Swimsuits

**February 9/Tuesday/7:00 am**

Nami comes in bright and early as I finish arranging the display case.

"May, what are you doing, opening today? Don't you remember?" she asks, stepping up to the counter.

"Remember what?"

"You promised we'd have a girls' day, just us," she puts a hand on her hip, raising an eyebrow.

"D-Did I? I don't really remember saying that—"

"How could you forget?!" she breaks out in a wail, tears coming to the corners of her eyes, "Does our friendship mean so little to you?"

"No, no, of course not!" I panic, waving my hands in front of me, "You're one of my best friends, Nami. I'm sorry I forgot. If I promised, I guess I can close for today—"

"So you can come?! Great! Let's go right now!" Nami does a 180, tears gone and smiling brightly; there's something suspicious about that smile.

"Right now? But I haven't gotten ready, and I need my wallet—"

"Don't worry about it!"

And she grabs my hand and yanks me out to her waiting car (I manage to flip the sign to 'CLOSED' on my way out). As soon as she slips into the driver's seat, she guns it and we're off.

"So, where are we going?" I ask curiously.

"There's this new mall that I want to check out, over in Calm Belt. It's supposed to be trendy but also affordable."

"Oh, okay then."

I settle back in the seat and watch Grand Line fly by.

We pull up to a section of the city I've never gone to before. In front of us is a massive wall with intricately carved, giant statues of snakes and the word 'Kuja' engraved in Kanji on the gates.

"So it's called the Kuja Mall?" I ask, staring up at the impressive stone work, "It looks pretty secluded, are you sure it's open to the pubic?"

"May, I am so glad you're incredibly stupid when it comes to famous people and places in Grand Line," Nami says as she rolls down the windows to greet the approaching woman dressed in security guard uniforms.

"Huh?"

"Here she is, I brought Elder Nyon's new model!" my friend tells the guards.

"Ah, thank you, Elder Nyon was starting to get worried. Please, go right in."

I gape at Nami.

"Elder Nyon…? Nami!? You lied to me! This is Amazon Lily isn't it?"

She puts the safety locks on so I can't open the door and drives through the opening gates. I glare at her and she winks.

"Too late to go back now," she grins, "I already negotiated your price (with a 10% cut for myself of course) and I fully intend to collect that Beri today."

"You sold me?!"

"Yup, 500000 Beri per shooting session and a 30% cut if your pictures get used anywhere."

"Hmph, you could have at least sold me for a bit more," I cross my arms and slide grumpily down in the seat, "500000 Beri, it's almost an insult. I ain't cheap!"

"I know, but that old cooky lady was a real haggler."

* * *

 **8:00 am**

Nami and I were ushered into the large building in the middle of this gated community and greeted by Elder Nyon.

"It's good that you are here," she said, "I'll show you where you'll be working, and then let you get changed so we can begin, nyo."

She leads us into a high-ceilinged room where it looks like a mini beach shore has been recreated, water and jungle trees included.

"Listen up, everyone!" Elder Nyon calls, "This is the new talent I have recruited. She'll be jnoyning us today. Lily-san, this is Ran, she's our head photographer."

A beautiful dark-haired woman with round eyes turns to me and nods.

"Nice to meet you."

"And these are Amaznyon Lily's top three models, the director and her younger sisters," the old lady points to three ladies that are standing on the beach set, already wearing bathing suits.

"Marigold!" I exclaim.

"Lily-san!"

"Sandersonia!"

"Hello."

"You two are this lady's sisters?!" I point at the final person—it's Hancock, the crazy woman who's been barging into my café and declaring her love for my papoose.

"Yes, can't you tell?" Sandersonia says with a flip of her long green hair.

I look between the three of them, trying to find some family resemblance.

"No, not in the slightest."

"There'll be time for chit-chat later! Go and help Lily-san into her piece!" Elder Nyon claps her hands briskly and a woman with two pigtails and an angular face steps forward.

"My name is Sweet Pea, I'll be helping you with your wardrobe today."

"Have fun, May!" Nami wiggles her fingers at me as Sweet Pea leads me to a dressing room.

"Here, you'll be starting off with this number," she holds up…something for me to take. I think it's a bathing suit. I _think_.

"It's is literally a bunch of strings! How am I supposed to wear that?!"

* * *

 **8:30 am**

"Wow, this is amazingly supportive considering it's just a bunch of strings."

"Of course! We are a fashion line of women, for women, by women. Comfort and functionality is the priority, style is a bonus," Sweet Pea says as she helps me adjust the final straps of the bikini. She's been filling me in on what Amazon Lily is and a bit of its history as I struggled to get into this confusing piece of fabric.

We step out of the dressing room. People stop to look at me. I'm starting to feel self-conscious when half of the women faint with nosebleeds. Sweet Pea glances back at me.

"By the way, did I mention that nearly every woman here is gay."

"Oh."

Nami stares at me openly.

"It's always hard to remember you actually have big boobs when you cover yourself up with that shapeless cardigan all the time, May. What is your secret?"

I blush and try to cover up my chest.

"Geez, stop it, Nami."

"Alright, alright, yes, you look good in that," Ran passes a critical eye over me, "You're welcome to watch the director and her sisters finish up their shoots before we need you. Please be quiet while we're working."

"Okay."

Nami and I walk watch from the side as the sisters all do their thing. Marigold is wearing a red, flowery suit and looks fiercely at the camera.

"So beautiful, Marigold-sama!"

"She's always so stoic, it's lovely~!"

Sandersonia has a green star-patterned suit and is posing…with a large panther. Yes, it is a panther, and it is real. She picks it up entirely and settles it over her shoulders, smiling.

"Kyaa! Wonderful Sandersonia-sama!"

"That's it! That strength is so beautiful!"

Hancock herself is simply sitting on one of the prop beach chairs with one of her legs crossed over the other, looking haughty while the camera snaps.

"Such an elegant beauty!"

"Yes! Hancock-sama just needs to sit there and she looks radiant!"

"Nami, what in the world are we doing here?" I murmur to her.

"Getting money. Shut up and pay attention, it'll be your turn soon enough."

* * *

 **10:15 am**

"Ugh, you're no good. You're too stiff, loosen up a bit!"

"I-I don't know what I'm doing. Sorry."

When the three sisters finished, they went for a break and it was my time. It only confirmed that I was a complete amateur at this. What do I do with my hands? Or my arms? Or my face? Ahhh, I don't know the first thing about modeling, who thought this was a good idea?!

I can tell Ran is getting tired of me very quickly, it's been over half an hour and I don't think any shots have turned out well.

"Fine, fifteen minute break everyone," sighs Ran, "Let's see if we can pull ourselves together by then, yes?"

"I'll try," I hang my head in apology.

"Hahaha, you're so awkward, Lily-san," Sandersonia laughs, coming up to me with her younger sister, "I'm sure a plank of wood could be more relaxed than you at this point."

"Thanks," I groan.

"My sister's right," Marigold says, "You're much too tense. Try thinking of the person behind the camera as one of your friends. It might help you think of it not as a photo shoot but as something casual so you'll be more natural."

"I feel like I don't belong here. You guys have probably been doing this for years, and well, I haven't. Obviously. I don't know anything about these sorts of things!"

"Oh, please, May, can't you just stick it out a little bit longer," Nami pleads and—oh dear, she's giving me puppy eyes, "You might like it once you warm up a bit."

"I guess…"

I go to the changing room to get into the next suit they have prepared for me and I hear muffled ringing. I dig around in my pants pocket and pull out my phone. It's Luffy! I open it and bring the phone to my ear quickly.

"Luffy? Luffy!"

"May? Where are you, you're not at the café and Torao is stealing all your coffee—"

"Luffy, you have to help, I'm being held hostage at Amazon Lily—"

The door of the changing room slams open and Nami charges at me.

"No! May, put down the phone!"

"Hurry up and come rescue me—!"

The rest of my sentence gets cut off as Nami tackles me.

"500000 Beri, May! I'm not letting you ruin this for you and me!" she yells.

"But, Nami, I suck at modeling!" I whine, "Did you _see_ me? It was terrible. And these bathing suits are embarrassing too!"

"Too bad, suck it up and put the next one on, I'm not giving up that 10% cut," she says heartlessly.

"Noooooooooo!"

"Don't you make me force it on you," she threatens.

"Okay, Okay, I'm going! Yeesh!"

"That's what I like to hear."

I sigh and look at the next bikini Sweet Pea has laid out for me. Geh, that many jewels on a swimsuit should be illegal.

* * *

 **12:00 pm**

I feel like I've gotten slightly better. With Marigold's advice, I started picturing Luffy or another one of my friends behind the camera, making silly faces at me. I still don't know what to do with my body, but at least I'm not as awkward. Or at least, I hope I'm not.

I don't know whether I'm supposed to be sexy, or flirty, or stoic. That seems to be what the sisters are going for so I've tried following their example, but it isn't working. During a break, Marigold comes over to me while I sit on the sand and think about what I'm doing wrong.

"What am I supposed to do?" I ask her, "I don't know what it is you guys are looking for. This suit I have on is pretty sexy, but I feel like Hancock is better at posing like that. I've tried to imitate her, but it doesn't feel right."

She takes a seat next to me.

"Look, you don't need to change your personality to model. I'm not one to smile like an empty-headed ninny, so I don't. You don't need to try to be sexy like Nee-sama. Be yourself."

I think over that for a moment. Oh! She told me earlier if I treat it like a casual picture between friends, it would be more natural. So, I simply need to do what I would if my friends _were_ the ones taking the pictures! That makes so much more sense. Thank god I don't have to pose like Hancock, the whole 'sexy' thing really isn't me.

"Ah, I see! Thank you Marigold!" I hug her and give her a quick peck on the check. She blushes slightly and holds the place where I kissed her.

Several camera flashes go off.

"She got the beautifully stern Marigold-sama to blush!"

"Kyaa! Marigold-sama and the newbie, I ship it!"

"Good! Whatever you're doing, keep doing that!" Ran calls to me.

I grin at the camera with one arm still around Marigold. I think I can get the hang of this. If I simply have to be myself, and especially if I'm just taking pictures with a friend, it'll be easy.

In the distance, I hear some kind of rumble. Huh, that sounded vaguely like an explosion. But, I brush it off and continue to model as Marigold runs off.

* * *

 **4:00 pm**

This day has gotten much better now that I've figured out how to handle myself. I've been hearing more of the rumbling, and sometimes it sounds like it's getting closer, but no one else seems to notice it, so I don't worry.

We had a quick break for lunch, but then it was right back to the photos. I tried on bikini after bikini and it's all been sorta a blur. At least everyone here is nice and easy to work with, especially now that I'm not ruining it.

Well, everyone except Hancock. She's been nothing but rude to me and her workers the whole time. It's quite a miracle that they've stuck with such an unpleasant woman for so long. But, that's their choice.

"Hmph, you think I don't know what you're trying to do?"

Whoa, speak of the devil. The beautiful woman is in the dressing room with me, about to change into our new suits.

"Uhhhh."

"You suddenly show up thanks to that old bat and get to model. You think you can rival my beauty just because you got lucky?" she tosses her hair dramatically over her shoulder.

"Wha—No," I say quickly, "Of course not."

"Good. You should know your place. I'll forgive your insolence this one time though, if you tell me one thing."

"Yes?" I ask somewhat hesitantly.

"Is Luffy single?"

Holy cow, that was the quickest changes of attitude I've ever seen. She's blushing and holding her cheeks like a teenage school girl as opposed to the mature and cold woman she usually is.

"Uh…yes. But I don't even know if he's interested in anyone. I'm like 80% sure his sexuality is food."

"He's single?! So, I have a chance?!"

This side of Hancock is unnerving, if I'm being frank. I back away discreetly to put some distance between us.

"I didn't say…Sure, sure you have a chance."

' _A snowball's chance in hell, that is.'_

But, hey, it's not up to me to tell her who she can and cannot fall in love with. As long as she doesn't try to slip some kind of love potion to Luffy or something, it'll be fine.

"Good. Now, the next shoot is the two of us," Bu-jeesus, I'm going to get whiplash if she keeps changing her personality so fast; she's back to the serious and angry Hancock, "Let me make this clear now. I'm going to crush you."

"We're just modelling though…?"

"Regardless! I'll make it clear that I'm more beautiful than you."

"O-Okay."

With that, she sweeps off to her private dressing room and I watch her beautiful hair disappear behind the door in a slight daze.

I shake myself out of the stupor and get changed into the next bikini.

She _is_ a beautiful lady. Crazy as a bag of cats, but very beautiful.

' _I'm taking a picture with a friend. A friend. Yeah, it's Robin and she doesn't really like being hugged, so I'm not hugging her now. It's Robin. Yeah, Robin._ '

I try my best to keep Marigold's advice in mind while I pose with Hancock. It's hard to keep a smile on when I'm getting 'I'm-going-to-crush-you-to-a-pulp' vibes from the lady next to me.

' _Luffy's taking the picture, he's behind the camera, making silly faces, he's hanging off of the camera, wow, I can almost see him, he's waving_ —'

"AH! Who let this man in here?!"

Whoa, that really _is_ Luffy hanging upside down off of the giant camera. The women around me are yelling at him for intruding and touching such expensive equipment.

"May! We're here to save you!" he calls to me, avoiding Ran who lunges at him by jumping over her.

"Luffy?!"

"Luffy!"

Dear god, Hancock needs to get a grip and stop fainting every time she sees my little baby.

"Wait, who's we?" I ask him as he makes his way over, dodging attacks from people left and right.

"Torao and his two friends! _And a polar bear_ , how cool is that?!"

"A man has defiled our sacred grounds! Destroy him!"

"How dare he!"

"Anyway, time to go!" Luffy leaps over their heads to me, scoops me up, and is running for the door.

"Wait, I left all of my clothes—!"

"No time! Torao, catch!"

I get thrown into the arms of a startled Law who is keeping guard outside with his friends, Shachi and Penguin (and yup, there's Bepo, like Luffy said) while Luffy fights off a bunch of women intent on killing him.

"Fancy meeting you here, May-ya," he smirks down at me as they break out in a run down the hall.

"Aw, man, why don't I ever get to carry the sexy chick in a bikini?" Penguin complains.

"Beause your face would scare her."

" _Rude_."

"What in all of Grand Line are you guys doing here?"

"Kid in the straw hat asked us to come along on a rescue mission," Shachi says, "Said something about Amazon Lily, so of course we had to come check it out! A community entirely of women. It's been paradise."

"Except when we got kicked in the face for asking a girl out. Too bad she said she already has a girlfriend, otherwise I feel like one of us would have had a shot," Penguin says dreamily.

"Wait, were you the ones causing all the explosions?" I ask as they sprint to the end of the hall.

"Yup! This place is confusing, like a maze, so we tried to find shortcuts!" Luffy laughs, dodging to the side to avoid— _was that an arrow_?!

I look at the end of the hall approaching. Wait, this side doesn't have stairs, it's just a window.

"You're not thinking what I think you're thinking are you?" I ask Law, starting to panic.

"No time. Jump!"

" _We're on the second floor_!"

"Yahoooo!"

Luffy holds onto his hat and Bepo as we fall. I notice Law's hat slipping and hold it back down to his head.

Waiting on the ground below is a bright yellow Lamborghini. Penguin and Shachi dive into the back, over the front seats, Luffy takes the passenger seat and Law gets into the driver's side with me still in his arms.

"Wow, this is a really nice car. Is this yours, Law?"

"Indeed it is."

"Cool!"

He speeds through the front gates that have been reduced to rubble, probably from an explosion.

"So, May, what were you doing there?" Luffy asks, "And why do you have a bikini on?"

* * *

 **5:00 pm**

"May, there you are! Where've you been? And why are you in a bikini?"

Ace greets the five of us as we walk into the café. He was previously rummaging around in the display case, but since I haven't had any customers today, I'll let it slide.

"It's a long story. Apparently, I'm a model now."

"Looks good," he gives me a thumbs up, "So do your boobs—"

I smack him as I head upstairs to get a change of clothes.

"Thanks for saving me guys. Want some dinner?" I call back down the stairs; it's the least I can do for them since they went through the trouble of 'rescuing' me.

"Yes!"

"Since we're here."

"That's nice of you!"

"Thanks for the meal!"

I'll have to ask Nami to get my clothes that I left behind. I hope she's not too mad that I got stolen away before the shoot ended. I smile as I think about today. It wasn't too bad, it was actually kind of fun. I might even consider doing it again. Maybe.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Woo, I managed to update on the right day! Finally. Well, we get to see a bit of Amazon Lily, I've been looking forward to this one. If you don't think the Kuja tribe is bursting with lesbians, you can fight me. Anyway, let me know what you guys think!**

 **FSG Guest- Oi! Don't put ketchup on the floor, get back here and clean it up! Haha, thanks for the suggestions, I think a high school AU is a must for the future :D**

 **KHR-Yunalesca- Of course! You have to fly kites on Kite Flying Day, it's not like you can't not _not_ fly kites!**

 **starrat- D'aww, you're such a little ray of positivity! Thank you!**

 **SupremeGeneralJoker- Nah, she can definitely be a bitch, but I think she's also hilarious ^u^**

 **Okay, that's all for now. Stick around for more!**

 **-jj**

 **(Also, psst, I drew some stuff from this chapter over on my tumblr, you should check it out. I mean, if you want, it's up to you)**


	31. Chapter 29: In Which There Are Cubs

**February 11/Thursday/3:00 am**

I stretch and yawn as I meander down the stairs this morning. I got a good four hours of sleep in so I'm ready to start the day! Right after I have tea, that is.

I flip on the kitchen lights, set the kettle on and pull out a few mugs and my favorite tea, get the butter out of the fridge so it can start warming up, smell coffee—wait, what.

Why do I smell coffee?

I creep out of the kitchen and see a shadowy figure standing in front of the coffee pot. I flip the lights on and dive for a phonebook, snatch it up, and point it at the intruder.

"Huh? Law, how did you get in?"

"The entire entrance is missing."

"Oh. Right. I still need to get that fixed," I brush him away from the coffee machine with a shooing motion so I can finish making the coffee that he started, "Early morning at the hospital?"

"Yes."

"Cool. If you have early mornings like today, you can just come upstairs and wake me up. In fact, I'd prefer it. I don't like anyone touching my coffee maker except me," I say.

"You won't mind being woken up?" he asks, leaning against the counter.

"Nope. I don't sleep much in the first place."

"Hm. I guess we're in the same boat then."

The coffee starts going and I hear whistling from the kitchen.

"Oh, 'scuse me for a sec, that'll be my tea."

I bring the kettle and six mugs over to the counter and place a tea bag in each cup before filling it with steaming water. I bring the kettle back to the kitchen, grab some cream, and pour it into each of the cups. I give them just enough time to cool down to barely-shy-of-scalding before beginning to drain them one by one.

"Ahhh~! Fourteen more of those, and I'll feel like myself again!" I sigh as I set the last cup down.

"You really _do_ drink twenty cups of tea in the morning," Law notes with a bit of awe, "I thought you were kidding."

"Nope. And don't you give me that, how much coffee do you drink in one day."

"I think my record is fifteen pots."

"Wow, that's actually quite impressive."

"Wow, how are you not dead, Torao-sensei?"

We both look over to the counter where Ace is leaning against.

"Morning," I nod to him as I get Law a cup of coffee.

"Mornin', May, glad to see you, I thought you'd be up, and look at that, I was right. So, you wouldn't happen to know how to lock pick a pair of handcuffs would you? And also, not related, but you don't have any potassium nitrate, sulfur, and charcoal, do you?"

"Ace, first of all—why the hell would I own ingredients to make gun powder, and second—why the hell would I then proceed to give you said ingredients, if I even had any, when there's a very good chance you could burn down my café, and three—handcuffs?"

"Handcuffs. I've been managing pretty well so far, but this guy is starting to get heavy," Ace kicks up his foot onto the counter to reveal a handcuff locked around his ankle.

On the other end is a large paw. I lean over the counter to see an unconscious lion with a purple mane on the ground.

"I've got it," says Law and whips out a scalpel; he reaches across the counter and makes quick work of the handcuff.

I'm just not going to ask why he has a scalpel in his pocket, or why he knows how to pick a lock with a scalpel.

I shake my head and look closer at the lion now free from Ace's ankle.

"Wait, isn't that Mohji's lion…?" I ask, "Ace, have you been messing with Buggy again? You _know_ he doesn't like you…or Luffy…or Shanks…or anyone really. But especially you two."

"I know. That's why it's so fun."

"Did you make him get angry? Did his face do the thing where it gets really red if he's mad? How red was it?"

"Almost purple," Ace states proudly.

"Nice!"

With his ankle no longer burdened by the lion, Ace picks it up and tosses it over his shoulder.

"Well, I should probably return this guy to his owner. See you around, May, Torao-sensei."

"I should be leaving as well. Thank you for the coffee, May-ya," Law takes his cup and follows Ace out the door.

I hum as I go to the kitchen to start baking and make more tea.

* * *

 **9:00 pm**

Luffy, of course, came in earlier today for breakfast. After he left, Killer stopped in for a cup of coffee, along with Kidd who was there to pay for the cake I made for his friend. Seeing as, y'know, I basically dropped it in their laps and ran before he could pay me because I was in the middle of a giant paint war that day. But hey, that's life.

"Twenty seven."

I blinked at the masked man.

"Pardon?"

"Twenty seven, that's how old I am," he clarified.

"Oh, yes! Happy birthday, again, even though it's already passed. May the coming year be awesome!"

"Yeah, yeah, c'mon Killer, we have to get to work," Kidd grabbed him and dragged him out, "See ya."

Mr. Mihawk also dropped by to read his newspaper and sit at Nester, but he didn't stay long.

And then, Officer Smoker came in. He must be off today because he isn't in uniform, and he looks very tired and a bit out of it because he forgot to put out his cigar(s) before he came in. I'm not entirely sure what he's doing here, but I hand him a coffee with no questions as he sits at the counter.

"Do you have time to listen to me?" he asks out of the blue when he's on his second cup of coffee; the smoke from his cigars hangs around him like a thick cloud.

"Er, I suppose."

"Well, it all started five years ago—," he begins.

"Oh my gosh, did I just become the bartender that the pitiful person at the bar lost in drink tells their life story to? This is so cool, I've always wanted to do this!" I interrupt him with stars in my eyes.

"If you're going to be like that, I'm leaving."

"No, no, sit back down and tell me more! Wait, wait, let me go get a beer mug that I can clean endlessly to look like I'm doing something."

"Are you going to listen to me or not?" he growls.

"Sorry, go on."

"Anyway it all started five years ago when I was promoted. That's when the problem showed up."

"The problem?" I ask.

"The problem. Namely, this orange-hatted bastard that likes causing fires all over the city. At first I thought he was some random punk that was a troublemaker for kicks, but it soon became clear that he has a head on his shoulders. I've never been able to catch this guy. Every time I'm so close, he slips away!" the policeman throws back his head and downs the last of his coffee before slamming it back on the counter, "And then, a little over two years ago, this other kid appeared. Some cocky brat in a straw hat that wreaks havoc everywhere he goes. I've been trying to pin him down, too, but just like that damn Portgas D. Ace, I can never get him!"

"Sounds rough," I say sympathetically.

"And you know the thing I can't figure out in all of this? Those two could probably be great people. I've seen them pull off some incredible stunts these past few years. I know these damn brats could be great if only they'd do something productive with their lives rather than cause trouble!"

"Aw, didn't know you felt that way about me, Smokey."

Smoker jumps and looks at Ace who is next to him, munching on the muffin he stole from the officer's plate.

"Portgas!"

"Yo," he raises a hand in greeting then turns to me, "May, check it out! The Mama Cheetah at the zoo had her babies, I wanted to show you them! Aren't they the cutest wittle things you've ever seen?"

In his arm are three fluffy little baby cheetahs, their eyes closed, little nubs for ears, and they're mewling quietly. Awwwww, they're adorable!

"Portgas, what the hell are you doing here? Gah, whatever, your ass is under arrest!" Smoker yells.

"Now, now officer, you wouldn't get violent in front of the children, would you?" Ace holds out one of the cheetah cubs in front of Smoker's face and the policeman freezes. It licks his nose.

"You wouldn't hurt them, would you Smoker?! They're just babies!" I cry.

"N-No—"

"Great, then you won't be arresting me," Ace settles back down and hands one of the cubs over to me; I take it with a quiet squeak from all the cuteness and Chou Chou wanders over to poke the furry creature curiously with his nose.

"Oi, I never said I wouldn't—"

"Yeah, yeah, you can chase me around yelling about justice and upholding the law some other time, now shut up and appreciate the babies."

With that, he drops another cub into the man's hands and shows us how to hold them properly.

"Aww, Smokie, did we just become friends?"

"Hell no, you damn punk. I'm back to arresting you as soon as I'm on duty and you don't have these…cute…fluffy…things."

"Heehee, you said duty."

"Real mature, Ace."

* * *

 **1:00 pm**

The bell rings and I look up from my Sudoku puzzle to see Usopp and Kaya walk in.

"Kaya's well enough to come out of her cave!" I cheer, "Woo! How are you?"

"I'm fine, thanks," she smiles, "We'll take two coffees, please."

"Are you two on a date?" I ask with a giggle, "Is it official then?"

"Yeah, no thanks to you, May," says Usopp, "Did you have to tell Dad?"

"It's what you get for peeking on me in the bath."

"I'm telling you, I got pulled along by Sanji! I didn't see anything!"

"Well, I for one, am glad that you did it," Kaya says softly, "I finally got to meet the man Usopp tells me so much about."

"God, he was so embarrassing," Usopp groans.

"I thought it was cute. Especially when you got all flustered."

"Kaya! You're as bad as my dad!"

I laugh as they take a seat at Nester

"Soooo~! Do you two have plans for the fourteenth?" I ask as I bring over their coffees.

"There's going to be a carnival in town that day," Usopp says excitedly, "I easily procured some tickets even though they were almost sold out, since I'm so famous. They immediately gave me two, free of charge, when I told them who I was!"

"A carnival, that sounds fun! Do you think they'd have a Ferris wheel?"

Usopp and Kaya look at each other before looking back at me, who is standing over them expectantly.

"May, we're sorta in the middle of a date here."

"Oh right, right, sorry! You two lovebirds enjoy your coffee, I'll whip you up something special to eat real quick."

I head off to the kitchen and feel my phone buzz in my pocket.

From Makino:

' _Everyone's coming to the bar tonight, you'd better be here!'_

' _Why can't we ever meet on a weekend, why is it always the middle of the week?'_

' _Hey, I don't make the rules, I just serve the beer :P'_

' _I guess that's true. See you tonight then!'_

* * *

 **6:00 pm**

"May! Food!"

Luffy runs in as I'm closing up (which is really just me lamely balancing the 'CLOSED' sign on top of the rubble of what's left of the doorway and hoping the wind won't blow it away), followed by his brother.

"We're going to Makino's so wait a little bit, okay? Ace, what happened to you?"

Ace has several angry red claw marks littering his bare chest and arms, but he gives me a thumbs up anyway as he takes off his hat to set it on the counter and shake out his hair.

"Cheetah Mama wasn't too happy with me taking her babies. We had an awesome wrestling match when I got back to the zoo."

"You didn't hurt her did you?" I ask worriedly.

"Nah, she's fine. I made sure to bring back the cubs safely, so she's watching over them now. Wouldn't let anyone else touch them today, haha!"

"May, I'm hungry! Let's go to Makino's already," Luffy says, tugging on my hand.

"We're coming, Lu. By the way, it's your turn tonight, Ace."

"Is it?" he shoves his hat back on his head and follows us out the door, "I thought I did it last time."

"Nope, you did it the time before that."

"Oh, right."

We get to Party's and Luffy immediately runs to the bar to get Makino to make him something and then bounces over to pester Shanks.

"After you," Ace says with a mock bow and a tip of his hat as he holds the door for me.

"What a gentleman," I smile at him.

"Aren't I though?"

I make my way to the counter, but stop when I see three familiar hats.

"Penguin, Shachi, Law!"

I pull up to a stop by the table the three men are sitting at, drinking.

"Ah, May-san, hello!" Penguin says.

"What are you doing here?" asks Shachi.

"This is my friend's bar. We're having a meetup tonight. What about you guys?"

The two men throw their arms around Law's shoulders and lean on him.

"Lawsy here successfully pulled off a tricky surgery today! We're here to celebrate his genius."

"It was nothing special," the doctor says, taking a sip of his drink.

"Yeah, yeah, maybe not to a genius like you, but it's impressive to us comonfolk, man!"

"You guys chose a good place to celebrate then," Ace says, "Makino's is the best!"

"Thanks, Ace!" Makino calls from the bar as she pours a customer their drink.

"Welp, I'm going to get drunk since it's not my turn tonight," I say and head over to the bartender, "Congrats on your surgery thing, Law!"

I tap my hands on the counter until Makino is ready to come over.

"I'll take whatever you think I'd like tonight, and keep 'em coming, Makino!"

"You got it. Ace's turn tonight?"

"Yup."

"Alright, enjoy, but try not to overdo it," she smiles as she hands me a glass.

"D'aww, lookit you, worrying about me n' stuff. Thanks!"

* * *

 **8:00 pm**

"Don't you think you should slow down, May-ya—"

Ace shushes Law as I start on another drink. I've had a few, so I'm feeling quite tipsy right now. Penguin and Shachi are off flirting with some women at the bar, it doesn't look like they're being very successful though.

"Torao, shh, don't stop her! May's hilarious when she's drunk. That's when she shit-talks and spills other people's secrets. Just sit back and watch."

Ahh, my head feels kinda heavy. I lean it on Ace's shoulder. That's better.

"Aaaace, Usopp got mad at me today. I think he's still upset that I told Yasopp about him and Kaya, but he should be thanking me 'cause now they don't have to hide their 'secret-but-it-was-totally-obvious-to-everyone-but-Yasopp' relationship. I wonder if I tell him who everyone else in our group has a crush on, we'll be even and he'll forgive me. Let's see, I could tell him who Nami likes, oh, but then she'll be mad at both of us, Luffy, no, I think that kid doesn't even know there's any kind of relationship outside of nakama. Ooo, I could tell him Franky secretly seeing—"

I suddenly find myself looking at the ceiling. Huh, when did that get there?

"May, no, you promised you wouldn't tell anyone!"

Oh, that's why the ceiling's there—I got tackled by Franky.

"Oops, sorry, I guess I did. I'll be quiet! Shhh! No one'll know," I put a finger over my lips.

"Good," Franky gets off and lets me up, and I hold out my hand to Ace, who obligingly helps me back into my seat.

"Haha, May, what was that about Franky that he didn't want anyone to know?" he laughs.

"Shhh, secret," I shush him, "And shut up, I'm trying to think of what I could tell Usopp…Hm, Chopper's out, so is Brook, Sanji, well, he's Sanji, I don't think Zoro loves anything besides swords...hmmm, that means it has to be someone outside the group…Oh! I know! I'll tell him that Buggy had a giant crush on Shanks way back when they were kids! Ha! Think I didn't know that, Rudolph?! Mohji told me when he found your diary! Yeah, that'll be good."

"What?! Buggy had a crush on me?!" Shanks yells from across the bar where he's squishing Luffy's face between his hands, "Wish he would've told me, he was cute when we were younger!"

"Perfect, that's what I'll tell Usopp," I clap my hands together and smile, "He'll be sure to forgive me."

"See, Torao, isn't Drunk May wonderful?" Ace nudges Law with his elbow, "If you stick around, you might just hear every dirty little secret that everyone who knows May has."

"Interesting."

* * *

 **11:00 pm**

Ace is off bugging Marco and Izo at the moment, so I don't have anyone to lean on. Therefore, I have my chin resting on my arms on the table. Penguin and Shachi finally had some luck with the ladies and left the bar a while ago, so that leaves me and Law.

"Torao, why does everyone have such cooler names than me?" I ask him, "I wish I had waited 'til I was older to name myself, then I could've given myself a really cool name. The coolest!"

He shoots me an odd look over the top of his glass.

"Name yourself? Didn't your parents give you a name?"

"Maybe, I wouldn't know. I was adopted. When I was eight or something. Didn't have a name before then," I yawn; man, I'm very sleepy. I wonder if Makino would mind if I just fell asleep here and didn't leave.

"…I was adopted too."

I shoot up out of my seat, wide awake.

"I CAN'T SLEEP, I NEED TO GO BUY CHOCOLATE," I fall back into my seat with a _fwump!_ because I'm actually drunk and standing up quickly doesn't work so well when you're drunk and look back to Law, "Sorry did you say something? Ah, it doesn't matter, I need to go. Ace!"

I try to get up again as he walks over, but fail.

"Whoa, whoa, May, calm down there," Ace puts a hand on my shoulder and keeps me seated.

"Ace, I need to go. Buy chocolate! Right now!" I tell him.

"What for?"

"For the fourteenth, of course! Duh! It's almost here and I don't have any chocolate."

"Okay, let's go buy some chocolate," he picks me up and tosses me over his shoulder. Oooh, that is very disorientating and my head is spinning.

"Chocolaaate….."

"Is she going to be okay?" I hear Law ask.

"Yeah, I'm gonna take her home now though."

"Nooo, Ace, I need to buy chocolate!" I weakly slap his shoulder.

"Of course, chocolate first, and then home," he corrects himself, picking up the glass of water he left at the table and draining it before we go. I prop myself up and look over his shoulder.

"Lookit this guy, isn't he so big and strong to pick me up like this?" I tell Law, poking Ace's shoulders.

"You know it. I can pick you up much better than you can pick me up," he smirks.

"Yeah, because you have like, 80 pounds on me in muscle alone."

"Oi, I'm not 80 pounds heavier than you."

"Whatever!" I huff, "I'm weak, you're strong, you can pick me up, I can't, but I manage to get you home whenever it's my turn anyway so it doesn't matter, but it's your turn to carry me home now, so carry me home. But first, chocolate."

"Right. Chocolate."

"Is this normal for you two?" Law asks.

"Yup, it's our system. We take turns on who can get drunk."

"That's an unusual system."

"Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Night Law!" I say as I flop down over Ace's shoulder again.

"Night Torao-sensei," Ace nods at him.

"Bye, Makino!" I wave to her as Ace starts walking out.

"You get her home safely, Ace, y'hear?" she calls after us.

"Yes, ma'am!"

"Oh, Makino! Since Valentine's Day is coming up, you should tell Shanks—!" I get cut off by a rag getting thrown in my face by the bartender before the door closes.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! So, first off, sorry I haven't updated in a couple days, Thursday was one long tiring mess that I didn't have time to post a chapter on, and Friday was spent mostly recuperating from Thursday. So, I will be uploading three chapters, one for each of the past two days, and today's of course! Thanks for being patient with me guys 3**

 **KHR-Yunalesca- Huh, it's an interesting idea, I'll have to think about it. I'm looking for more overarching themes though, something like 'Fantasy' or 'High School' etc, but thanks, I'll keep it in mind!**

 **ADDBaby- Perfect. That is now May's motto :D**

 **littlecatbug22- OOOOOO I love it! I'll definitely have to file that one for the future, although it might not be an AU Within An AU. Thanks for the suggestion!**

 **starrat- *throws glitter at you* You're such a happy lil' fella in the comments, it's so nice!**

 **Toraffles- ...AND WELCOME BACK TO THE FFE (FanFiction Fighting Entertainment) SHIPPING WARS! You thought it was done, but surprise! We now have two people for Mace and two for Lawly, is this a tag team?! (And one FSG Guest for May and Sabo) Will there be blood?! Stay tuned!**

 **Thanks for reading everyone, stick around!**

 **-jj**


	32. Chapter 30: In Which There Is Chocolate

**February 12/Friday/3:00 am**

I open my eyes and it takes me a moment to figure out where I am.

I'm definitely not in my bed, because the surface under me is hard. I sit up and look around—ouch! there's a crick in my neck—oh. I'm lying on top of the kitchen counter. There's mixing bowls filled with half-melted chocolate surrounding me and a couple of drips of the chocolate splattered around the kitchen.

I lean to one side and stretch my arms over my head to crack my back, then the other way, and then I crack my neck. Ah, the crick is gone now! That's an improvement.

Ace is leaning on the counter with his face buried in his arms, snoring lightly.

I leave him sleeping and hop off the counter—stumble and regain my balance—and pad upstairs to get pills for my headache. After I make myself some tea, I finally give Ace a shake.

"S'it mornin' already?" he yawns sleepily, turning his head to the side to crack one eye open at me.

"Sort of. You can go back to sleep, but I'm baking in here, so you can use my bed if you want to sleep without all the noise."

"Nah, I'll stay here. Don' wanna move," he buries into the crook of his arms again.

"Okay, your choice," I shrug and grab my apron, "By the way, what's with all the chocolate?"

"You wanted to make chocolates for the fourteenth," he seems to give up the prospect of sleep as he sighs and leans back, stretching his arms over his head, "Wouldn't shut up about it until I took you to Buggy's to buy some and then when we came here about three hours ago, you tried melting them down, but you were half-drunk and fell asleep."

"Oh, heehee, sorry," I say as I start cleaning up the chocolate on the counter; I'll work on those later, but for now I need to get the pastries for the café ready.

"It's alright, it was funny to watch."

We slip into a silence as I get to work, occasionally passing a bowl with batter left in it for Ace to finish, while he dozes on and off at the kitchen counter.

"I want to go to the carnival on the fourteenth."

"Huh? Wuzzat?" Ace peeks at me with one eye.

"Usopp said he's taking Kaya to a carnival that's gonna be in town," I explain, "They should have a Ferris Wheel, right?"

"Wha's wrong with the one at Sabaody?" he yawns.

"Are you kidding? Sabaody's so sketchy."

"Oh, yeah, I guess it kinda is."

"Too bad tickets are almost sold out," I sigh as I pour batter into a muffin tin, "I'll probably have to settle for Sabaody on the fourteenth after all."

I glance over at him when he doesn't answer.

He's sleeping.

I run upstairs and grab a blanket to toss over his shoulders. Wouldn't do if he caught a cold.

That's what happens if you don't wear shirts and run around half-naked all the time, kids.

* * *

 **7:00 am**

"May, look at this one! This is one is Chamunda and this is Bishamonten, gods of war and worshipped by people everywhere!" Luffy holds up two beetles for me to look at while I cook breakfast for him and his brother.

Luffy will sometimes bring all manner of creepy crawly creatures for me to see. He likes to give them names and grand backstories, and I'm pretty sure his and Ace's home would be overflowing with bugs and the like if Ace didn't make Luffy get rid of them.

"You caught two kami-sama?!" I ask in amazement, "That's incredible, Luffy!"

"Yup! I almost caught Momoyoji as well, but he got away!"

"That's too bad. But, it would be a shame if Chamunda and Bishamonten end up in our food, so how about you put them safely outside?" I ask, carefully shifting the frying pan away from Luffy, who's holding the beetles over it to show me them.

"Okay!"

Luffy runs over to put the beetles outside, but stops by Ace's side; he's still sleeping. Laughing, my dumpling puts Chamunda under his brother's hat and Bishamonten on his face.

"What the—? Wah!"

Ace wakes up yelling as the kami-sama crawl over him.

"Ee! Get it off, get it off!" he shrieks, tearing off his hat and trying to shake out the beetle in his hair; he grabs both of the beetles and hurls them out the hole in the entrance.

"Luffy, you jerk, you know I don't like bugs!"

The younger brother laughs as he gets tackled and I hear the inevitable crash. I rush out to see Quintin broken in half for the 617th time as the two roll around.

"God dammit, you guys, you broke Quintin again!"

I angrily snatch up the phone and dial Iceburg.

"Nma?"

"Hello, Iceburg, my two idiots have destroyed my property and Quintin is currently dead, also the front of the café is completely gone, please send help," I snap, giving the death glare to Ace and Luffy and pointing at them to stay still and ruin any more tables.

"On our way. Paulie, get the car!"

I hang up the phone with a huff and turn to the chalkboard next to the calendar.

' _It's been 14 days since Quintin's (or Nester's) been damaged'_

I erase the '14' and write '0' in its place.

Dang, we had been doing _so_ well, too! I think fourteen days is a record.

"Eat your food and get out," I tell the brothers as they kneel apologetically, occasionally poking and pinching each other.

"We're sorry, May!"

"Stop breaking Quintin then!"

* * *

 **10:00 am**

Galley-La saved Quintin and brought him back safely. I couldn't go this time because I have chocolates to make, but I trusted them to fix him up. Both Franky and Paulie came back to put Quintin in his spot and finally fix the front of the café that got destroyed in the hurricane that swept through Red Line a couple days ago.

I was much less grumpy when everything was restored to order, and apologized for yelling at Luffy and Ace. They are so destructive, but I do love them after all.

Business has picked up today. I think people are scoping out potential places for a date on the fourteenth. Hopefully this means I'll get a lot of customers that day! That'd be wonderful.

I smile and stir the warming chocolate since I have a break between serving people, determined to make a lot of it. It's going to be a fun one this year, I can feel it.

The bell rings and I poke my head out of the kitchen to see who it is; looks like Nami and Vivi have come to visit. I set down the bowl and take off my apron, and go out to greet them.

"I'm sorry I haven't come around in a while," Vivi apologizes, "Papa's been really busy with work and has asked me to start helping out."

"Nami, look at our precious little baby!" I sob to my friend, "All grown up and doing things!"

"They grow up so fast don't they?"

"Y-You guys, I'm already eighteen, you know," she blushes, "I'm a woman."

Nami and I just cry harder and cling to each other, the proud mothers that we are.

"Anyway, we should have a get together," I tell them, "Makino's been bugging me that it's been a while now, so I'm calling a girls' night tonight."

"Oooo, yes! It's been such a long time. And I have a beautiful new nail polish that would be perfect on you, May, and one for you as well Vivi…"

We talk about this and that while we enjoy our coffee and tea, but they have to leave soon and I have to get back to making chocolates, although I make sure to text Makino, Robin, Kaya, and Nojiko to tell them about tonight.

"Wait, Vivi, when did you turn eighteen? I thought you were seventeen."

"Yes, my birthday was on the second."

"... _And you didn't tell us_?!"

* * *

 **12:45 pm**

Luffy, Ace, Zoro, and Sanji, and someone else pulled along by Sanji come to the café for lunch today.

"May-chan! Look who it is!" Sanji laughs, throwing his arm around the man's shoulders.

"Uhmmm, sorry, do I know you?" I ask him; he looks vaguely familiar, wait, maybe it's just the shadows under his eyes that remind me of someone I know.

"It's Gin! I ran into this guy on my way here," Sanji grins, "What has it been, two years?"

"Two years," Gin confirms.

"Oh!" I hit my palm with my fist, "Gin!...I still don't remember, sorry."

"Sanji saved my life two years ago," Gin explains.

"Oh, that's right, May wasn't here yet, so of course she wouldn't know you," Luffy says.

"Idiot, I didn't save your life," Sanji smacks the back of his head, "You're always so dramatic about that."

"Well, it's nice to meet you," I smile at him, "Would you guys like some lunch?"

"Yes, please!"

The men sit at the counter, filling me in on how Sanji and Gin became friends—apparently, the short version of it is, Gin broke into the Baratie, got his ass handed to him by the chefs there, and Sanji found him outside and took him to the hospital, and they were good friends until Gin left the city.

"And then I bump into this bastard and he says 'What's up?' like it hasn't been two years since we've seen each other," Sanji shakes his head.

"That doesn't matter," Luffy says, "Ne, Gin, have you ever seen a kami-sama?"

"No one wants to see you stupid bug, Luffy," Zoro sighs.

"Of course they do, stupid Zoro!" Luffy sticks his tongue out at him and when he's not looking, tries to put a booger in Zoro's drink.

However, when he's about to take a sip, he forces it on Luffy instead.

"Thought I wouldn't notice, dumbass?!"

"Mmmph!"

"How are the chocolates coming along?" Ace asks as he lifts his plate to avoid Zoro and Luffy's fighting.

"Much better now that I'm sober. I should have half of them done by today, and then the rest finished tomorrow."

"Ah! Sorry, May, we broke Quinin again!"

* * *

 **3:00 pm**

After I kicked out the boys and had Iceburg come back to pick up Quintin and repair him for the 618th time and second time that day, I decided to do some early cleaning since it's started to slow down at the café. I've finished washing the dishes that were piling up in the sink and began cleaning the display case when the bell rang. It was Sandersonia and Marigold, and of course I invited them to come tonight because it's most likely going to turn into a sleepover, and I finally got their numbers so we're officially friends! Which is good, because I like them both…their sister not so much, but maybe I just haven't gotten to know her yet. You never know, first impressions can be wrong sometimes…and second impressions…and third impressions…Well, I'm sure she's a lovely person deep, deep, _deep_ down inside.

I got answers back from Robin and Makino saying they'd be here as well, but Nojiko promised to have a game night with Genzo and Kaya is staying home to rest before she goes to the carnival with Usopp on Sunday. Well, it'll be the seven of us, but that'll be fine. We'll be able to make it a great night!

' _Oh, Luffy, go to Sanji or someone else for dinner tonight, we're having some girl time to ourselves.'_

 _'_ _What? Why? I wanna join!'_

 _'_ _Sorry, Lu, but no.'_

 _'_ _:('_

 _'_ _Nice try, but puppy eyes don't work unless you're here in person.'_

I hope he actually listens to me and doesn't crash in later tonight. I do love being around all of my friends, but it's nice to be with the women every so often.

* * *

 **6:00 pm**

I close up the café and start getting everything ready upstairs, pushing aside furniture and laying out futons and throwing pillows on top of them. I also make a quick run to Buggy's for chips and other snacks.

Makino arrives with drinks and a jar of her special booze cherries, and Nami comes in with a basket of tangerines and oranges from Nojiko. The rest show up one by one, but I'm surprised when the Boa sisters show up. All three of them, that is.

Hancock and I stare each other down, her more hostilely and me a bit nervously.

"Uh, well, the more the merrier, I suppose," I finally say, and welcome them upstairs.

"How quaint," Hancock sniffs; I get the feeling it's not a compliment though.

"Haha, don't mind her," Sandersonia laughs, "She actually really wanted to come when Mari and I told her we were going to sleepover."

She leans over and lowers her voice.

"She's never been to one so she wanted to see what it's like."

"Sonia!" Hancock snaps at her sister, pink dusting her cheeks.

"Hello, Nami-san," Marigold nods to her.

"Hey! I didn't know you guys were coming," Nami says, "Vivi, Robin, Makino, this is Marigold, Sandersonia, and Hancock. I guess they're joining us."

"That's fine. It's nice to meet you," Makino smiles at them, although she and Vivi both seem a little dazed as they look at Hancock.

"Well, let's get started," I cut in, picking up Chou Chou when he wanders a bit too close to the tall woman for my comfort; one attempt at kicking him is enough for me to be wary of her trying it again, "What shall we do first?"

"Nails!" says Nami, "I've got the perfect color for you and Vivi!"

* * *

 **10:00 pm**

This night has gone much better than I thought it would. Hancock and Marigold were a bit stiff at first, but then Marigold warmed up to the rest of the ladies, and well, Hancock is still pretty cold, but at least she allowed Makino to braid her hair, so I guess it's an improvement. I think.

"Soo~! What are everyone's plans for the fourteenth?" I ask as Nami carefully paints my toenails. She wanted to do my hands as well, but I told her they would be coming off soon since you shouldn't work with food with painted nails.

"Not much," Vivi says shyly, "I was planning on making some chocolates for my father and a few friends, and…uh, someone else."

Nami pounces on her words like a predator that smells blood.

"Someone else?" she grins at her, "Who might that be?"

"J-Just a childhood friend."

"Kyaaa! Spill it! What's his name?" Nami and I both crowd around the younger girl, stars sparkling in our eyes.

"Kohza, but he's just a friend!"

"Uh-huh, sure, sure."

"I don't have much planned," Robin laughs at us, "I'm going to curl up with a book and a bottle of wine and some dark chocolate."

"Is anything else involved in that curling up? Or, more appropriately, some _one_?" I ask her.

She looks blankly at me.

"No."

"Are you suuuure?"

"Yes."

I stick my tongue out at her—she and Franky are still hiding and it doesn't look like they intend to tell anyone else anytime soon.

"Nami, what about you? Are spending it with anyone?" I give up on Robin and turn to her.

"I'm single, May, you know I don't have a Valentine," she says aloofly, "I do plan on collecting a lot of chocolate and gifts though."

"Really? You're not going to try and get together with Lu—OW!"

I rub my foot where Nami stabbed me with the metal nail file. I huff and turn to Makino.

"Fine, Makino, what about you?"

"O-Oh me? Nothing much. Just a nice and quiet day for me."

I snap. What _is_ it with my friends and not admitting things about their love lives?

"Oh my god, you people are the worst with being honest! If you don't confess soon, I have half a mind to go to Shanks on Valentine's Day and tell him for you!"

"Well, go ahead!" she cries, "The joke's on you because we've been going steady for ten years now!"

We all stare at her. She covers her mouth, realizing what she just admitted, and turns beet red.

"EEEE, MAKINO!" Nami and I shriek and bombard the woman with hugs.

"Ten years?! Why have you never told us?!"

"Details, give us details! When did it start? How did it start!?"

 _"_ You guys are so embarrassing, this is one of the reasons we've never told you!"

"Is he good in bed?"

" _Robin_?!"

We tease Makino some more before we decide she's had enough.

"May, you never told us what you're doing," Vivi points out.

"I'll be busy passing out chocolates all day. Oh! And I want to go to the carnival at some point."

"You hand out chocolates, Lily-san?" Marigold asks, "I thought you only do that with people you love."

"I guess," I smile at her, "I love my friends, so I make sure to give them all something, but I also throw in a complimentary truffle to anyone who comes into the café on the fourteenth."

"Interesting. None of us have ever made any chocolates for Valentine's Day. We're always the ones receiving them," Sandersonia giggles.

"Wait, you say you make chocolates for all of your friends?" Hancock asks suddenly.

"Yes…?"

"That means, you're giving chocolate to Luffy as well?"

"Uh, yes, he is my friend after all."

"I'll make better chocolates then!" she declares, leaning back and pointing a finger at me, "Don't think you can rival my love! I'll pour all of my feelings into them and show you who's better!"

"O-Okay."

"May, what is she talking about?" Nami whispers to me.

"Oh. She has a raging crush on Luffy," I tell her, "It's a bit scary actually, but kinda cute at the same time. Mostly scary though."

"Really," Nami says flatly, giving the woman an evaluating look, "I thought she was kidding that one time."

Oh boy. This Valentine's Day might turn out to be an interesting one.

"Nee-sama, you've never even cooked before."

"I don't care! I'm going to make the best chocolate this world has ever seen and give it to my beloved!"

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! So, we're slowly catching up, but I'll be uploading the Valentine's Day chapter soon. Thanks for being so patient with me, guys, hopefully I'll be on top of things in the future!**

 **CalicoKitty402- Yes, and I ship it to the ends of the world. But, I also ship just about everyone in One Piece (that includes Mihawk and Shanks), so...**

 **FSG Guest- *sweats nervously* Interesting chapter as in 'interesting good' or 'interesting I-don't-want-to-call-it-bad-so-I'll-call-it-interesting'**

 **littlecatbug22- Haha, thank you! Did you know that Ivankov is actually based off of him? (I'll keep it in mind once we get closer to Halloween ;D)**

 **starrat- I love _you!_**

 **KHR-Yunalesca- Glad you liked it! (*whispers* I like to think Shanks is bi or pansexual, shh) and no worries about the idea, I probably should have made it clearer what I was looking for :D**

 **ADDBaby- Well, you can only go so far when one person in the relationship is a table**

 **Guest simply known as 'Guest'- Hell yeah, I'm working on it right now! And yes, May is all-knowing. On some things. On others, she's completely clueless.**

 **TheParadoxicalOxymoron- Lol, that would be something, wouldn't it? I think there's only a handful of guys that would be suitable for May's age range tho, the rest are just a _little_ bit old for her, so it would be a pretty small harem. And thanks, it's helped to slow down and take my time with these!**

 **Alright, stick around for more! (Coming soon, actually, the Valentine's Day chapter is going up as soon as I finish it!)**

 **-jj**


	33. Chapter 31: In Which A Ferris Wheel Is

**February 14/Sunday/7:00 am**

I finish boxing the last of the chocolates and run upstairs to grab my pink cardigan that I keep for this day. I need to deliver all of these to my friends that I know won't be coming in today. I'll have to hurry if I want to get back before ten though.

Let's see, who's on my list: Buggy tries not to ever come here, so I'll have to drop some off at the store for him, Kidd is definitely probably not going to come to the café, so I'll swing by his shop as well, maybe the police station for Smoker and Tashigi as well. Other than that, I expect all of my friends to pop in at one point or another so I can give them their chocolate.

It's going to be a hectic day.

But, what else is different?

Grabbing up a bag with the sweets I'm delivering inside, I step out the door and onto Red Line, shading my eyes. It's a beautiful day!

In a good mood, I set off.

* * *

 **9:30 am**

I arrive back at the café and shut the door behind me, slipping the empty bag off my shoulders. The deliveries all made it to their recipients safely, although I had to run away from G-1 when the receptionist lady started squinting at me and asking if she had seen me before when I gave her Smoker and Tashigi's chocolates to hand over to them, and Buggy got mad and started throwing things at me when I presented the chocolate to him, and Kidd was spluttering incoherently when I gave him his…

The chocolate got delivered and that's all I care about.

Before the café opens up, Ace and Luffy burst in.

"Happy Valentine's Day!"

They both tackle me in a hug and peck my cheeks. Luffy holds out a large, and very poorly put-together card with even more poorly drawn stick figures that I think are supposed to be me, him, and Ace (if the grey and brown scribbled on one figure and the yellow and orange vaguely-hat-looking blobs on the others are anything to go by) surrounded by an atrociously drawn heart.

"Aww, Lu! I love it!"

"I drew it myself!" he says proudly, puffing out his chest.

"I can tell," I giggle.

"I helped with the heart," Ace points to it.

"Thank you guys!" I give them a squeeze and reach for their gifts, "Here you go: Happy Valentine's Day!"

"Yay! Chocolate!"

"Thanks, May!"

They tear into the bags to pull out solid chocolate figures that weigh a pound each carved into pirate skulls, Luffy's with a straw hat and Ace's with his smiley-faced hat.

"So cool!"

"Now, remember, don't eat it all at once, or else you're gonna get a stomachache, and then you won't be able to eat all day," I lecture them; Luffy looks ready to shove the entire piece into his mouth.

"Yeah, yeah," Ace waves me off, "Hey, before I forget, here!"

He reaches into his pocket and shoves a few scraps of paper into my hands. I accept them and read what's printed on them.

 _'Grand Line Carnival: One Week Only! Come and enjoy the fun (One ticket good for one day)'_

"Ace! You got tickets!" I exclaim happily and lock him in a tight hug, "Weren't they almost sold out though?"

"Yup, but I pulled some strings. Don't worry about it. I got a lot of extras, so we can take more people with us."

"Thank you!" I hug him again.

"Whoa!"

We laugh as we topple over. Luffy, not wanting to be left out jumps on top of us.

"This is great! I hope they have a Ferris wheel."

The bell rings and we all look up to see Law enter.

"Law!"  
"Torao! Happy Valentine's Day!"

"What the fu—"

He doesn't have any time to react before Luffy and I barrel into him.

" _Ugh!_ Get off of me," he grunts.

"No! You can't escape the love, Traffy," Luffy squeezes him tighter.

"Yeah, what Lu said! Shut up and accept the hugs! Also, I have chocolate for you," I tell him.

"Ace-ya, help."

"Haha, you're on your own."

* * *

 **12:00 pm**

The café has been bustling with people, both customers and friends, for the past two hours. I've handed out chocolates to everyone in mine and Luffy's group except Nami who has yet to come in, Shanks and his crew, Mr. Mihawk, Oyaji and many zoo workers, Mr. Goro and Gedatsu from across the street, Rayleigh-san, the people at Galley-La, and a few more. Paula came in, but unfortunately I was really busy at that moment and couldn't give her the chocolate I made her. She was pushed out of the café because it was packed; I feel bad that I didn't get to talk to her and wish her a Happy Valentine's Day.

Oh well, some other time maybe.

Nami finally comes in when I making lunch for Luffy, Ace, and I, carrying a small box of somethings.

She thrusts out her hand and holds them in front of Luffy, avoiding eye contact with him by looking off to the side with a slight blush.

"I made these. I guess you can have them, even though these were the failed ones," she says.

"What are they?" Luffy asks curiously, taking off the box's lid, "Oh wow! More chocolate, thanks Nami!"

I grin knowingly at my friend and she flips me off behind Luffy's back as he gives her a hug.

The door flies open to hit the wall and everyone in the café looks to the entrance to see who it is. Many people whip out their phones and start taking pictures of Boa Hancock as she walks regally towards the counter.

"Ah!" Luffy points at her, "It's you! The weird lady."

"Please, call me Hancock," she says docilely, fidgeting with the box in her hands.

"Okay. Hammock."

"…Close enough. Here, I made you these chocolates to show you my love," she holds out the box for him.

"Wow, Lu, you're so popular," Ace marvels.

Hancock suddenly explodes in a blush and turns her back quickly, holding he face in her hands.

"W-We brushed hands!" I hear her whisper, "This must be fate."

"Oh, thanks!" Luffy says, opening up the box and peering inside, "I guess I sorta like you, too, you're a really funny lady."

"You like me?!"

Luffy takes a bite of one of Hancock's chocolates and immediately seems to breathe out a jet of fire.

"Holy cow! Why is it so spicy?!"

"Because! Aren't gourmet chocolates spiced? I used only the best and most expensive ingredients I could find, and I wanted to make it spicy to show my burning passion…" she explains nervously, "Do you not like it?"

Aw, Hancock is really cute when she's like this! It seems like she's actually extremely innocent under that hard exterior she puts on.

"It's interesting!" Luffy decides with a grin, "It makes my mouth tingle."

"Lemme try one, Luffy!" Ace picks one up; he has a taste for spicy things, so they must have spiked his interest.

"I didn't make them for you, swine! Who are you anyway?"

Wow, not-cute-Hancock makes an appearance again. The speed at which this woman changes her attitude is dizzying.

"Huh? I'm Luffy's brother. If anything, I should be asking _you_ who the hell you are."

"Luffy, what about my chocolates?" Nami asks him while Ace and Hancock have a stare off, wow, it looks like flames are roaring around them it's so intense, "What do you think of them?"

"They're good! I like them, but I think I like May's the best."

I instantly have an angry Hancock glaring daggers and killer puppies at me. Nami just sighs.

"I guess there's no winning against May when it comes to things like this."

"Er, what? Who's winning? What was the competition in the first place? I'm so confused."

"It's okay, don't worry about."

* * *

 **4:00 pm**

I'm closing up the café early today to spend time with my friends and go to the carnival. Hancock left the café after trying to flirt with Luffy and failing terrifically. I sent her off with some chocolates for her and her sisters, which she accepted with a huff. I'm just glad she didn't throw them away or destroy them on sight, she seemed pretty miffed with me. For whatever reason.

On our way to the carnival, we pick up (abduct) any of our friends that we run into, so we end up there with me, Ace, Luffy, Nami, Zoro, Sanji, Robin, Franky, Marco, and Law in total. Ace managed to get his hands on twelve tickets somehow, so we're covered.

"They _do_ have a Ferris wheel!" I note with satisfaction, shading my eyes to look up at the towering wheel, "Ace, Luffy, we _have_ to ride on it at least once today!"

"You don't have to tell me twice," Ace laughs, "As if I would miss riding a Ferris wheel on Ferris Wheel Day!"

"Hey, I think I see Usopp! Usopp!" I call as I see him and Kaya walking up ahead.

"Ussooopp!" Luffy joins in and our friend turns, spots us, and turns back around, pulling Kaya quickly away.

"Hmph, rude! It's like he doesn't want to see us!"

"Maybe he just didn't hear us, Lu. Or recognize us."

"Whatever. I wanna go on the rollercoaster first!" Luffy pumps his fists in the air, walking excitably in the direction of the ride.

"Hopefully it won't break and lead us all to our deaths," Robin comments in an off-hand manner.

"Always the most cheerful scenario with you, isn't it?" Zoro says sarcastically.

"I wouldn't mind dying for you, Robin-chan!" Sanji croons.

"That has nothing to do with anything thing she just said, you idiot curly-brow."

"How do you deal with these people?" I hear Law quietly ask Marco behind me.

"You get used to it, yoi. The sooner you learn to go with it, the easier it gets."

* * *

 **9:00 pm**

I'm so glad we were able to come here today! We had a lot of fun trying all the different kinds of foods, going on rides, Luffy in particular enjoyed the Hall of Mirrors…we did have to apologize when Law accidentally punched one of the actors at the House of Horrors in the face. He refused to say sorry 'because people working those kinds of jobs should be prepared to deal with people's fight-or-flight reflexes, what the fuck do you expect is going to happen when you jump out at someone and try to scare them, you _dumbass_ ', so we did the apologizing for him and assured the people running it that they had his sincerest of apologies, please ignore the fact that one of my friends is covering said apologetic man's mouth to keep him from speaking while another is restraining his hands to keep him from giving you the finger—make that two fingers.

But other than that incident, it's been good.

Usopp keeps avoiding us though.

Geez, you'd think we're embarrassing or something!

Well, I'm not going to worry about him. If he wants to be a butt and do that, it's his problem and he's the one missing out on our company. And anyway, I have more important things to do that won't be spoiled by his lameness.

"And now, the moment you've all been waiting for!" I sing, "Ferris wheel time!"

"I'd love to go with you Nami-san," Sanji says immediately.

She waves her hand in front of her face in rejection.

"Sorry, no can do. I'm going with Luffy."

"Huh, you are? I didn't know—"

Nami cuts off Luffy by grabbing his arm and pulling him to the line.

"Aw, such a shame," cries Sanji, "In that case, Robin-chan?"

"Sorry, I'm with Franky."

"Yeah you are," I murmur under my breath and Robin shoots me a look.

"May-chan?" Sanji asks hopefully.

"I'm gonna stop you right there," Ace cuts in, "I got the tickets for this place, I get first pick, thank you very much. Back of the line."

"Ah, all the ladies are taken!" Sanji eyes the remaining people; Zoro, Marco, and Law, "You know, on second thought, I'm okay skipping the Ferris wheel. No way am I going with any of _you_."

"Seconded," Law agrees.

"Your guys' loss," I smile at them and take Ace's hand to tug him over to the line for the wheel.

We get into the gondola and start our ascent to the top, pausing every once in a while so people can get on or off. We stop at the very top of the wheel and take in the view of Grand Line with our faces pressed against the windows.

"It's so pretty with all the lights!" I breathe.

"Yeah. It looks like it goes on forever, too."

We sit quietly, simply looking down on the city until fireworks go off. Most of them are pink, red, or white, some of them are shaped like hearts, probably because it's Valentine's Day.

"Fireworks and a city-view seat," I giggle, "This is a perfect Ferris Wheel Day if I ever saw one."

I lean over and give Ace a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks for today, it's been a lot of fun."

He holds his cheek and goes silent, contemplating something.

"May…" he starts quietly, "I've been thinking…I've been thinking this for a while…"

"Yeah?"

"…The Ferris wheel has been in the same position for a couple minutes now."

I blink at him.

"I think we're stuck here," he explains upon seeing my blank look.

"Oh."

"Well," he stands and reaches out the window to unlock the door's outside lock, "I guess we'll need to get down ourselves."

"You're not serious."

"Oh yes. C'mere, May!"

"No, no you do not! Get away from me! Don't you dare pick me up!"

Nobody at the carnival notices my screams on the way down as they blend with the shouts coming from all the other rides. Except maybe the man operating the Ferris wheel trying to get it back up and running who gets a very nasty shock when we land right next to him.

All in all, I can proudly say that I didn't faint.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a!...What? What did you think Ace was going to say? Well, here we are, all caught up on chapters (better late than never, right? Right?) Sorry for the wait, but it's all good now!**

 **The Spade Queen- OHHHH SNAP, In a turn of events, we have someone rooting for both Lawly _and_ Mace! The Shipping Wars continue to heat up!**

 **starrat- It's a good thing you didn't have to wait long for it then!**

 **FSG Guest- Yes! I caught that when I went back and proof read it! I don't know what's wrong with me, it's going to be December and I'm going to be writing January *shakes fist at own stupidity and lacking sense of what month it flippin' is***

 **KHR-Yunalesca- Shakino4lyfeYO! Also, hope this chapter answered your question :D**

 **ADDBaby- Oooo difficult, difficult *temples fingers and leans them against chin in deep though* I quite like white chocolate, but mmm, caramel chocolately stuff are good too...In conclusion, all. All chocolate. Happy Valentine's Day! (belatedly)**

 **Thanks for reading, stick around!**

 **-jj**


	34. Chapter 32: In Which Things Are Normal

**February 16/Tuesday/7:00 am**

' _Yohoho, Going to deliver Binks' Sake_

 _Following the sea breeze, Riding on the waves, Far across the salty depths_

 _The merry evening sun, the birds sing as they draw circles in the sky'_

"May, has anyone ever told you you're a terrible singer?" Ace laughs as I dance around the kitchen making breakfast, singing; Luffy is spending the morning with Makino and probably by extent Shanks as well, so it's just the two of us.

"Yes. You have. Many times," I answer to the tune of the old sea shanty before continuing with the lyrics, " _Let's all sing out with a Don!"_

I bump him with my hip playfully as I pass on the way to the spice cabinet to get some salt and pepper, singing all the way.

"Ace, hands off the stove, we don't need any more fires here," I say with my back turned to him as I rummage around in the cabinet, " _—To salty spray, As we set sail to the ends of the sea."_

"Do you have eyes in the back of your head or something?"

"Yup. _Going to deliver Binks' Sake, We are pirates sailing through the sea, Something, something, I forget the lyrics here_ —"

"Nice," Ace jokes.

"Thanks. _Flying the proud skull on our flags and sails, This song is really long so I'm skipping to the end, Our funny travelling tale!"_

Ace claps as I flip our omelettes onto plates and end on a drawn out note, bowing at his applause and handing his plate over to him.

"A beautiful rendition! I think Brook may have some competition as Grand Line's best singer!"

"Yeah, yeah, eat your omelette and spare me the mockery," I stick my tongue out at him.

"I'm not kidding. It was so beautiful, I want to cry. I think my ears want to cry as well. It was that good. I'm being totally serious. One hundred percent honest here. Look, even Chou Chou agrees with me."

Said dog is hiding under the table with his paws covering his ears.

"Well, if you like my singing so much, maybe I'll do another verse."

"Wait, May, I'm kidding, please don't."

" _Yohoho_ —"

"Shut up and eat your omelette!"

"That's what you get for teasing me," I laugh and dig into the eggs stuffed with cheese, mushrooms, and bacon.

"Yeah, yeah. Well, at least you're not as bad as Luffy," Ace says, already halfway through the giant omelette I made for him.

"True."

We click our coffee cups together in agreement and go back to eating. Ace falls asleep and I catch him by the hat strings before he can fall backwards off the stool.

Just another day, I suppose.

* * *

 **9:00 am**

Mr. Mihawk is sitting at Nester as per usual. He's gotten better at talking to me, if only a little bit. For instance, when I asked him how his day was today, he didn't just say 'Fine', he said 'It's going well.'

That's a whole two words more than normal!

See, I told you he'd warm up eventually.

Ace is sleeping in the kitchen still. When he does that, it's best just to leave him be, because trying to wake him up is pointless. The guy sleeps more soundly than a pile of boulders when he gets his narcoleptic attacks. I'm filling out my Sudoku puzzle since I have nothing to do right now.

I hear a muffled ringing somewhere and look around, trying to figure out where it's coming from. I feel my pocket where my phone is—no, it's not mine.

I hear Ace wake up with a snort in the kitchen and the phone ringing stops.

"Hey, Marco, what's up?" I hear him ask.

"Oh, cool, cool. Yeah, I'll keep an eye out for them."

I look curiously at Ace as he comes through the door, stretching a creak out of his back.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, stop your nagging. Bye."

He hangs up and glances up at me.

"Some critters got out of the zoo, apparently. Everyone's out looking for them right now, so I guess I have to go."

"You guys need to have better security or something, I feel like this happens a bit too much," I say, "What got out?"

"Marco says the entire group of bear koalas got loose and they can't find them anywhere," he tells me, leaning against the counter and making no sign of going out to find the animals.

"Bear koalas? Don't you mean koala bears?" I ask.

"Nope, I know what I said. They're bear koalas. They're a kind of bear that's really small, even when they're adults. Sneaky little bastards they are, extremely curious, smart, and adventurous, too; we've had problems with them like this before, but usually someone catches them before they get out of the zoo grounds."

"Are they around knee-height?" I ask, looking behind Ace.

"Yeah, super small. It's cute."

"Do they have big heads and fluffy tails?"

"…Yeah, they do."

I nod over his shoulder.

"I think I found them."

Ace turns around to see a small swarm of cuddly teddy-bear-looking creatures climbing over a highly-irritated-looking Mr. Mihawk, stealing his hat and swiping at his pants legs playfully. Every time he picks one off his back and sets it on the ground, another one takes its place.

Ace and I stare at them for a moment.

"Wow, that's cute."

"Miss Lily, will you _please_ help get these animals off me."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm on it," I say as I whip out my phone and start snapping pictures.

"What are you—stop taking photos and get these things out of here," he growls.

"Right, I'm doing that right now," I say and continue to take pictures.

A few of the bear koalas notice me and start crawling over to me, climbing up my legs.

"Awww, these guys are so adorable!" I put away my phone and pick one up, holding it at arm's length so I can get a better look at it; he wiggles around a bit, trying to get down.

"They really like you, uncle!" Ace marvels, picking up a few off Mihawk and putting them under his arms where they squirm around to get free, "They're usually pretty cautious around people they don't know. You must be special."

"Ace, can I keep one?" I ask him, cuddling one in my arms who squeaks; eee, it's too cute!

"Hell no, Pops would be so mad at me. Well, maybe he wouldn't, but Marco sure as hell would."

The bell rings and Law walks in. He stops when he sees the small bears crowding the café, but shrugs after a moment and walks up to the counter. A few of the bear koalas trail after him curiously, looking up at his back. I understand why when I see a furry white head poking over his shoulder.

"Hi, Law. Coffee?" I set down the bear koala in my arms and walk with some difficulty to the coffee machine, with two more bears hanging off my legs.

"Yes. Might I inquire why there are so many animals in here?"

"Escaped from the zoo," Ace says, trying to pick up more of the bears and stuff them under his arms, "Hey! Did you know there's a polar bear on your back? Where'd you get'im?"

Law stares at him, face blank of emotion.

"He's a dog. He just looks like a polar bear."

"A dog."

"Yes. A dog that looks like a polar bear. His name is Bepo."

"…Right. So, you probably got the polar bear illegally—"

"Dog. It's a dog."

"It's cool, man, I know how those things go," Ace smacks his shoulder, dropping some of the bear koalas in the process; they bounce harmlessly onto the floor and shake their heads.

"Ace, how would _you_ know about those kinds of things?" I hand a cup of coffee to Law.

"Oh. Uh, don't worry about it."

* * *

 **12:30 pm**

Izo gave Ace a call some time ago, asking if he'd seen the bears at all. I could hear him yelling on the other side when Ace laughed and told him they've been at my café for a couple hours. He finally rounded them up and took them back, and since he hasn't come for lunch yet, I'm pretty either Izo or Marco is chewing him out for not letting them know where the animals were sooner.

So, it's me and Luffy for lunch today. We're singing Binks' Sake together while Chou Chou is hiding upstairs, taking cover from our terrible, terrible singing. We don't care though, we're laughing and having a good time.

"I love this song!" Luffy cheers after we finish the final chorus, "It's the best song in the world!"

"Oh, I thought some animals were dying. It's just you two singing."

We look over to the doorway to see Zoro. Luffy pulls down his eyelid at our friend and blows a raspberry at him.

"You're just jealous 'cause we're awesome singers."

"Right," Zoro snorts, "So, jealous. Can I get myself some coffee, May?"

"Haters don't get coffee."

"What?!"

"If you apologize for insulting our singing, I might forgive you though and let you have some," I grin at him, flipping over the grilled cheese sandwiches I'm making on the stove.

"Fine, sorry. I'm getting coffee regardless of whether you forgive me or not."

"No! No coffee for you, Zoro," Luffy yells and leaps up, dashing for the front and grabbing the coffee pot away from him.

"What the—Oi, give me the coffee, Luffy!"

"No!"

"Stop being a kid and let me have the damn coffee!"

"Come and get it! Shishishi!"

"Alright, you're asking for it!"

I hear crashing out front and sigh. That's probably Quintin being broken for the six hundred and nineteenth time.

* * *

 **4:15 pm**

The café is pretty busy which is a bit unusual for a Tuesday afternoon. There's been a pleasant drizzle of warm rain for a while and people are out and about enjoying the gentle showers. There's some street performers outside: what appears to be a kabuki performer, some kind of circus act where a wolf jumps through a hoop of fire, and a giraffe that's purposing as a slide for children.

"This is some good coffee."

I snap back to the customer before me, a pretty blond woman whose name I've learned is Kalifa-san.

"Oh, thank you!" I blush and hold my cheeks, smiling bashfully, "You love it, right? Right? Isn't my coffee amazing?"

"I-I guess," she says, pushing up her glasses, paying and leaving quickly.

I cheerily whistle a bit as I sweep up the floor behind the counter. My coffee got complemented! It's always nice to hear that people like it.

"You look like you're in a good mood, Miss May."

I look at Rayleigh-san, who's sitting at the counter with a cup of coffee. He'll come and visit me every once in a while to see how things are. I smile at him.

"Yup! It's a good day today."

* * *

 **7:30 pm**

Ace and Luffy have come over for dinner tonight. They're currently trying to get Chou Chou to play with them while the little dog tries his best to ignore them. So far, he's the one winning.

"Your dog is so stupid, May!"

"So lame! What kind of dog doesn't like playing?"

"Maybe you two just aren't fun," I suggest.

"Not possible, we're the funnest," Luffy says, "Chou Chou's just stupid."

Luffy is rewarded for his comment with Chou Chou biting his hand.

"Ow! Stupid mutt!"

"Hahaha, nice going, Lu!" laughs Ace.

"Grrr, Chou Chou, go bite Ace instead! He deserves it. _Ow!_ No, don't bite me again!"

I set plates with our dinner on the newly-fixed Quintin and decide to break up the fight.

"Food's ready!" I announce, pulling Chou Chou off of Luffy, setting him down near his food bowl and filling it up.

The brothers jump into their chairs and attack the food at their normal rapid pace. They're nearly finished and already trying to steal from each other's plates as I take my seat.

I lift my plate away from their grabbing hands before they can steal my dinner, too.

"May, seconds please!"

"Thirds for me!"

"You can't have thirds before you have seconds, Luffy," Ace tells him.

"I'll have them both at the same time!"

"That doesn't even make sense."

I lean back further in my chair as they both try to grab my plate again.

"Oi, let me at least finish my first helping before you guys go asking for seconds."

I have to lean back even more so that the chair is tilting as Luffy leans over the table and steals the roll off of my plate.

"Hey!"

Ace takes the rest of the plate as I press my foot into Luffy's face to keep him from advancing over the table and start to tip backwards.

"Oh no."

I crash to the floor while Ace eats up what I have left before holding out the plate to me.

"So, how about those seconds?"

"You two eat way too much for your own good. There's extras, but only enough for one person."

We pause and I think about what I just said. That probably wasn't a good idea.

The next second, I'm up and running for the kitchen, Ace and Luffy right behind me.

"I haven't had any dinner yet, you jerks! That's mine."

"But, I'm still hungry!"

I grab two phonebooks as I pass the counter and throw them at the brothers.

I sigh happily as I serve myself the remaining food and take a bite. Luffy and Ace are unconscious on the ground and I step over them to sit back down at Quintin.

"Finally I can have dinner with some peace and quiet!"

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Shoot, I meant to have this up a bit earlier. *Sigh* I suck at updating on time, sorry.**

 **Gongfu-cha9000- No worries! And thank you so much! AND OH DANG OH ME OH MY, WE GOT ANOTHER LAWLY SUPPORTER HERE! THE FFE SHIPPING WAR PLOT THICKENS (also, thanks for the suggestion, but I'm actually not a huge tea enthusiast, although I enjoy it. I just keep it simple with my simple generic black tea :D That's May that likes tea so much. I literally looked up 'most expensive tea' and Du Hong Pao was the top result so I went with that. Thank you though! It was super thoughtful of you)**

 **KHR-Yunalesca- Idk what you're talking about? What did Ace miss his chance for? :P Also, I hope you're satisfied with Mihawk in this chapter, I got the inspiration from the chapter cover where he's being climbed on by these cute lil' bear things and Perona is in the background :D**

 **C- AND ON THIS SIDE OF THE RING WE HAVE ANOTHER MACE SUPPORTER, I THINK IT'S AN EVEN MATCH BETWEEN THE SHIPS RIGHT NOW. WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? (Also! Friend! I! Have! a! Tumblr! And I would _love_ to see what you drew! I accept submissions, so please consider sending it in to jazzinjuke 'cause I would love nothing more than to see it!) ((Also, how many cardigans she has will be answered soon, so please wait)**

 **starrat- Thank you! I had fun writing the carnival scenes, especially the House of Horrors one lol**

 **Awesome Guest- Climb? Hahaha, oh no. No, Ace straight up jumped down. You have a good day/night too!**

 **Stick around!**

 **-jj**


	35. Chapter 33: In Which I Change A Lot

**February 18/Thursday/3:00 am**

Hot.

It's so hot.

It's sweltering like an oven in here; I can feel sweat slowly dripping over every single one of my limbs. Hot, why is it so _hot_?

I push my blankets off, trying to escape the heat, but for some reason, they're not budging. When did my blankets become so heavy? And firm, too?

With an almighty shove, I finally manage to escape the suffocating heat, panting, and find out that it wasn't blankets that were covering me. It's one Portgas D. Ace who has half-fallen off the bed and is lying with his shoulders on the ground while his feet are kicked up on the bed, still snoring soundly despite probably hitting his head, if the somewhat concerning _crack!_ I just heard is anything to go by.

Oh right, I forgot that he and brother spent the night here.

Said brother is already on the floor having fallen off at some indeterminate time last night, face down butt up, with my blankets strewn over him and tangled in his legs.

Ugh, it's still really hot in here, even without Ace sprawled out on top of me. I thought that he was the one causing the unbearable warmth—the guy generates a lot more body heat than should be considered normal, he's basically a walking furnace, which is very nice during Winter and the occasional cold day to cuddle up to, but not when it's boiling hot like right now.

Deciding that today is a day to wear shorts, I quickly get dressed and pull on my quarter sleeve grey cardigan that I keep for weather like this.

I lean in the doorway of my bathroom with one foot kicked up on the frame, brushing my teeth, while looking down on the brothers. After a moment's consideration, I place pillows under Ace and Luffy's heads so they won't be sore when they wake up, and then head downstairs to start the day.

Hopefully it'll cool off soon.

* * *

 **7:00 am**

"Ace, has anyone ever told you that you're the worst bed partner ever?"

"What can I say? I'm a cuddler"

The freckled man sits at the counter, stretching and squishing his brother's cheeks while the teen tries to make silly faces at him and I make breakfast, sweating profusely from the combination of the heat from the stove and the weather.

"Yeah, I hardly think it can be called 'cuddling' when you suffocate the person under you."

"I'm super affectionate even in my sleep?"

"More like lethal."

"Lethally cuddly?"

"Whatever you want to believe."

Ace tips his hat back and grins at me as I come out to refill my tea.

"You know you love me anyway."

I grin at him.

"I guess so."

The bell rings bright and early as Luffy and Ace wait (im)patiently for me to finish breakfast and Law walks in, followed by a small flurry of snow.

"Is it finally cold?" I ask in relief, "Oh thank god, I was dying in here."

I go back to the kitchen and throw open the back door to let in some cool air after being cooped up in the stifling kitchen for the past couple of hours with all the fans I own blowing on high (which made working with the dry ingredients a tad difficult) and immediately get buried by a thick wave of snow.

" _Brr!_ It's freezing!" I pop out of the pile and shake my head to clear it of the white flakes.

Well, at least it's cool in here now.

I bring out Luffy and Ace their food and tell Law to help himself to the coffee, then dash upstairs to change into pants and get out of my sweat/snow-drenched cardigan and into a fresh one.

When I get back, Luffy and Ace are fighting over the last bites on their plates and half the coffee in the pot is gone, thanks to the doctor.

I sip at my tea (but still keep a close eye on the brothers in case they start getting close to Quintin) and chat with Law while he has time before he has to go.

"So, what ridiculous holiday are you celebrating today?" he asks, watching as Ace holds Luffy in a headlock, the both of them laughing boisterously.

"What are you talking about?" I raise an eyebrow at him, "We can't celebrate something every day _,_ that'd be exhausting. If you really must know though, it is National Battery Day."

"No, I really didn't need to know."

"Well, now you do."

"May, watch out!"

I look over in Luffy's direction just in time for a small cup of syrup to hit my shoulder and drip all over me.

"Gah!" I take in the sticky stuff oozing slowly down my cardigan, "Dangit! Well, at least this is only my fifth favorite sweater."

"Sorry, May," Ace and Luffy say together.

"Accidents happen," I sigh, shedding the cardigan and taking it downstairs to the washer, then going upstairs to grab another cardigan.

It's a good thing I have so many.

* * *

 **9:00 am**

I kicked Luffy and Ace out shortly after Law left because they were being rowdy and I kept getting caught in the crossfire of whatever thing they threw (that was usually messy and resulted in yet another ruined cardigan each time). I had to change my sweater seven more times before I had enough and gave them the boot.

I'm wearing my twelfth favorite cardigan when Kidd comes in along with Killer who's wearing his mask like usual.

I wonder what his face looks like.

"Get us some coffee," Red says without much in the way for a greeting, "The coffee machine at the shop broke again."

I kindly ignore him and fill out my Sudoku puzzle as if he isn't standing there. Again, I'm a strong believer in politeness. To a certain point.

I can hear him growl and grind his teeth together.

"Hello, 'morning, get us some coffee, _please_ ," he bites out.

I smile brightly and finally look up from my puzzle.

"Oh hi, Kidd, didn't see you there. So, the coffee machine broke again? I think you should consider getting a new one," I chat conversationally as I pull out an airpot and start filling it.

"It _was_ a new one."

"Oh. How did it break so quickly then?"

"Probably because Kidd likes to hit it when it doesn't make coffee fast enough for him," Killer says quietly and Kidd smacks him, glaring at him to shut up.

I laugh and go to hand the full airpot over, but slip on a bit of syrup that I must have missed cleaning up. With quick reflexes, Red manages to jump forward and save the coffee, but I'm not so fortunate and fall backwards and bump into the shelf behind the counter that has my tea on it. It topples over onto my left shoulder, spilling its contents all over my arm before shattering to the ground.

"Shoot! That's my twelfth favorite sweater!" I yell in frustration.

"You okay?" Red asks, brow wrinkled in concern.

"Yeah, yeah," I grumble, getting up and dusting my pants off and then taking off my dripping cardigan, "I'm more mad that I have to change for the ninth time today than it actually got dirty."

He places some Beri on the counter and I grin at him, realizing something.

"Aw, were you worried about me just now?"

"Wha-No-I wasn't-Shut up!"

I laugh as he grabs Killer and drags him out the door, taking the coffee with him. Then, I sigh and look down at the mess of tea and shattered ceramic. I'll have to clean it up.

But, first, I need to change again.

* * *

 **1:00 pm**

By the time Luffy and Ace come back for lunch, I've gone through the rest of my grey cardigans and have been forced to start wearing the colored ones. I have one of each color including white and black, but I also have a couple that I wear for special occasions. Hopefully, I won't have to dip into my special sweaters, they're meant to be worn seasonally after all. Fortunately, I'm only on the red cardigan so far, but I seem to have the worst luck today. Whether it was coffee or the stand mixer suddenly turning on at full speed and splashing everywhere, inevitably, my sweaters have all gotten dirty.

The bell rings and Law comes in for the second time today as we eat lunch. He raises a silent eyebrow at my cardigan. It's understandable that he's curious, since I've only ever worn my grey ones, expect on Valentine's Day.

"It's been a long day," I tell him tiredly, "I've already been through fifteen sweaters."

"How many do you even own?" he asks, accepting his coffee with a nod.

"Forty, I think. But that's not including my non-cardigans."

"Hey, Torao! Did you know that you can tell if a battery is dead if you drop it on a table and it falls over?" Luffy asks, "Watch!"

"I thought you said you didn't celebrate this day, May-ya," Law shoots me a look as Luffy drags the doctor over to show him as he drops a battery onto Quintin's top.

"Not really," I shrug at him with a smile, "There's only so much you can do with batteries you know."

"We could change all of the batteries in your smoke detectors!" Ace suggests, "And then test them out to see if they work."

"This sounds like it's going to end up with you lighting fires, so I'm going to say no."

"Yeah, yeah, May where're the matches, you moved them again."

"With good reason. Stop lighting fires in my café."

"Aha! Found 'em!"

"Ace, don't!"

* * *

 **4:15 pm**

I kicked out Ace and Luffy (again) after Ace started a small fire and the sprinkler system was activated and made the café thoroughly wet. I had to change into my orange cardigan to let the red one dry off, and then the yellow one when that one got spiced peace syrup all over it, and then my green one when _that_ one got covered in powdered sugar.

Thank goodness I have so many sweaters.

Anyway, I'm playing Sudoku and thinking about closing up early today since no one's come in for a while when the door slams open and Luffy and Robin charge in, chased by two other people. One is a man with hair shaped like a three and the other is a short woman with thick braids and rosy cheeks wielding a paint brush.

"You're up against master artists!" the man yells, "What chance do you think you stand against us?! We'll easily make you become works of art so that no one will hear from you again! I think you'll make nice candles once you're dipped in wax."

"What the hell is going on?!" I ask my friends, "And what is he talking about, dipping you in wax?!"

"Sorry to disturb you, May," Robin says calmly, "These people appear to be unstable in the head and got into a fight with Luffy."

"How dare you? It's called being artistic! Now, sit there quietly while I make you my next masterpiece."

The man and woman charge forward, a bucket of melted wax and paint in hand respectively and throw them at my friends. They dodge and before I know it, Luffy has punched the man through the door and Robin has sent the woman flying after her.

"Nice work, Robin!" Luffy grins and pats her arm, "We make a good team."

"Yes, that was fun."

" _God damnit!"_

They both turn to me to find me covered in cooling wax and paint.

" _That's nineteen times now!"_

* * *

 **6:30 pm**

"So, who were those people?" I ask Robin as we have dinner together with Luffy and Ace; I'm now wearing my purple cardigan.

"They were the owners of the new art shop that opened next to the bookstore," she explains patiently; I keep asking her what happened to lead up to them bursting into the café, but .

"And why were they after you guys again?"

"Luffy accidentally went into their store thinking it was mine and may have ruined a few of their artworks."

"That hardly seems like a justifiable reason to turn someone into a candle," I huff, hitting Luffy's hand with my spoon when it wanders too close to my plate for my liking.

"People kill for littler things," Robin shrugs slightly.

"That's not really making me feel better," I tell her.

Robin just 'hm's, picking up her bowl calmly away from Luffy.

"By the way, have you had any trouble with the person next to you?" she asks.

"You mean Paula? No way! She's such a nice lady," I say, "Oh! But that reminds me, I need to make her a cake! She's been here for a while now, I should do that soon."

I start to think about what kind of cake I should bake for my neighbor as I go back to eating. But, I smell something and look around the table; something's burning.

Ace has lit Quintin of fire. A small flame is licking across the tabletop.

"It was an accident! Sorry!"

"Stop lighting fires in my café!"

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Well, another Late Update™** **from yours truly. Thanks for sticking with me, even though I'm getting worse and worse at updates it feels like**

 **CalicoKitty402- Yup, you've got the right idea :D AND OH SNIPPITY SNAP WE GOT ANOTHER MACE SHIPPER HERE, WILL ANYONE RISE TO THE CHALLENGE BECAUSE MACE IS NOW OUT WEIGHING LAWLY I BELIEVE**

 **FSG- *snap snap snap, double tap, triple smack, high five, turn around fist bumps ya* What mood was there to kill? lol**

 **KHR-Yunalesca- Thanks! We'll probably be seeing more of his interactions with everyone now that we know he's Shanks friend, and don't worry, he'll be added to the Blackmail folder in time :3**

 **FSG- (second reply *snap snap snap it back like a snap back hat*) Ohoho, hell no, CP9 is going to be back veeeery (not really but sorta) soon. Also, no, I didn't mean March. We're literally going to be in December and I'm still going to be writing January. (Also also Sabo's coming next month, I can tell you that much ;) *snaps awayyyy*)**

 **Albertasteinthe21stgenius- Thank you so much!**

 **ADDBaby- Hmm, well, this is a bit difficult to answer. First of all, May's not an 'amazing' chef, gourmet, or whatever like Sanji. She just knows how to make simple but good meals. Now, her baking is awesome, but her coffee/drinks are where it's at. So, in terms of can I cook/bake like May, sorta? I'm a fairly good cook, I know the basics and can hold my own (it's kinda essential to live, y'know?) and I do enjoy baking, but I don't do it nearly enough to be considered on May's level. Thanks for the question! (Also, we'll be exploring more of Baroque works and Paula's schemes in the coming chapters. May won't be oblivious forever :D)**

 **C- No problem, sorry for the late update! I try to answer all the reviews no matter how short they are. And, wow, haha, I saw you on tumblr (I'm still looking forward to that drawing, unless you don't want to show it ^/^)**

 **Thanks for waiting, stick around!**

 **-jj**


	36. Chapter 34: In Which There Is Ice Cream

**February 19/Friday/7:00 am**

I yawn widely as I wrap up a cake, grab my cardigan, and head for the door. I only got about half an hour of sleep since I realized late last night that I needed to make a grocery run. Fortunately, Ace was still here because he fell asleep at dinner (after lighting Quintin on fire, the jerk) and hadn't woken up yet, so he helped me carry the groceries back. And of course, once we were finished putting away the groceries, we stayed up watching movies until sometime around two in the morning.

Anyway, right now, I'm off to deliver a cake.

To whom?

Paula, of course!

The Spider Café hasn't gone out of business yet, which is quite the achievement on Red Line. Usually, people who set up businesses here are gone by the second week for one reason or another. I remember there was one once a jewelry shop next to me run by this incredibly unpleasant man named Don Krieg who had a whole bunch of unpleasant employees (one named Pearl was particularly nasty), but they closed down when Luffy sorta destroyed the entire building with his bare hands and feet. Another one, a poor Doctor Blackbeard or some such, tried to set up his clinic, but it was destroyed in a mysterious explosion that Ace claims he has no relation to, which is funny seeing as he was standing next to the burning building with a lighter in hand and laughing maniacally when it collapsed. There was also a restaurant and bar across the street called Whiskey Peak where Ukkari Hot Spring is now. The entire building is gone because back in November, Luffy and Zoro got into a fight and my green-haired friend lifted the entire building to throw at Luffy.

Have I ever mentioned that my friends are monsters?

Well. Let me tell you.

Huh, I just noticed that the reason for most of the places going out of business is my friends.

Huh.

I push open the door of the Spider Café with my shoulder and call out to Paula, who's helping a customer.

"Good morning! I brought you something!"

I wait patiently for her to finish helping the person before stepping up.

"Hi, Paula. I wanted to give you something to celebrate you not going out of business! It's really impressive that you've made it this far," I tell her sunnily and hand her the box, which she takes with a raised eyebrow.

"Are you making fun of me?" she asks as she takes off the lid to reveal the cake I made her.

"What?" I ask her, confused, "No? Did you do something funny? I must've missed it, do it again."

"Wow, that smells incredible, what is it?" a person standing behind me asks; it's a man with heavy eyeliner and a scarf wrapped around his head with a diamond—or maybe it's a starry—pattern.

"It's chocolate cake with a molten chocolate mint filling, since it's Chocolate Mint Day!" I explain happily to him.

"Amazing! Where can I get one?"

"Well, I made it. I have more at my café next door…"

"I must have one. Ojou-sama would probably like some as well," he nods.

"Alright then," I smile and turn back to Paula, "Looks like I can't stay and chat, but I hope you like the cake. And that you stick around longer!"

I lead the man back to my café, with a few others trailing behind.

"So, what is your name?" I ask him as I slice a piece for him and hand it over, "I am Lily E. May."

"Pell, and thank you for the cake. I would like one in a box as well."

"Of course!"

* * *

 **10:00 am**

Luffy and Ace came for breakfast of course, but they had to wait for a while until the morning flood of customers I got went away. I whipped up breakfast for the three of us along with some mint tea and chocolate muffins to go on the side, then we sat around, sharing old stories and laughing at them all over again.

"Do you remember when we got stranded on that little island when we went with Pops on a whale-watching trip?"

"It's because you and Lu stole a rowboat and I was stupid enough to come along. I think we were stuck there two days, wasn't it?"

"Shishishi, that was fun! There were a lot of animals on that island that were fun to play with. And they were tasty!"

"Haha, I don't think I ever saw Marco so close to having a stroke when they finally realized they left us behind and found us."

"Yeah, that was funny. I think yours and Luffy's sunburns the next day were even more hilarious though. You two were red as tomatoes. I could see my hand print if I barely touched you."

We sit on the sofa in the front; Ace has his legs thrown over the back of it while I have my head on his stomach and my legs are being used as a head rest for Luffy.

"We should get ice cream today," I say suddenly.

"That's a good idea!"

"Yeah! Let's go right now!"

"No, no, Lu, we should wait until later. It's too early for ice cream," I tell him.

"It's never too early for ice cream if you really want it."

"Later, bro. May's got to work," Ace reaches over me to poke Luffy's cheek and the teen pouts but accepts it.

"Speaking of work, Ace, don't you have to be at the zoo or something?"

"Nah, don't feel like it."

"Oh."

* * *

 **2:00 pm**

Grand Line seems to be steadily working its way through every single type of weather today. There was a blanket of snow this morning, followed by a light sprinkle of hail, then some showers, freezing gusts of wind, then hot and dry ones, and it was settled on a hazy cover of fog, before moving on to what it is now with the sun burning down upon the city. It's so hot, I can see waves of heat rising off the streets outside.

Chou Chou is laying across the counter, tired from the heat with his little tongue lolling out, and I'm with him, leaning against the counter with my chin resting on my arms. It's almost too hot to function! It's making me sleepy.

I jolt up when the door slams open, making the bell jangle wildly and Usopp and Chopper run in, followed by some interesting characters: a woman with bushy red hair and putple and a large man with a head of green hair. Huh? Is that Zoro?

"May, save us!" my friends cry.

"Usopp? Chopper? Why are you running from Zoro?"

"That's not Zoro!" Chopper yells.

"Are you blind, May?!" shouts Usopp.

I take a second look at the green-haired man. What are they talking about? He has green hair so it must be Zoro, oh wait—

"Oh, I see! It's not Zoro, he's not wearing a haramaki," I pound my fist on my palm.

" _That shouldn't be what you notice_ _!"_

"Thought you could run away from us, ba?!" the woman says, "Yeah, yeah, you damn brats made my hip hurt from makin' me chase ya, duh! Ya big idiots. Let's off 'em."

Whoa, whoa, whoa, not-Zoro is pulling out a huge bat and they're both advancing on my friends who cling to each other, sobbing in fear. I grab two phonebooks and throw them without thinking.

"Whew! Thanks for saving our hides!" Usopp wipes his forehead and nudges one of the people with the toe of his shoe.

"Who in the world are they and why were they trying to hurt you?!" I ask, not understanding what's going on.

"These two recently opened a sporting goods store near Going Merry," says Usopp, "I don't know why, but they suddenly burst in and tried to beat me up. Since I knew they were after me and the kids would only get hurt if I stuck around, I expertly lead them away—"

"You mean you ran away—" Chopper says.

"And I ran into Chopper," Usopp cuts loudly over Chopper.

"What is happening?" I ask, worrying as I help Chopper roll the unconscious people outside, "First Robin and Luffy come in chased by some weirdos and now you two."

"Who knows? Can I get some tea, May?"

"Sure, Chopper. I have some good mint tea that you'll like."

* * *

 **6:00 pm**

"May! Are you ready for an adventure?"

Luffy and Ace burst into the café in typical fashion, grinning excitedly and practically bouncing with energy. I smile in return and button up my cardigan. I've already closed up the café in preparation, so I'm good to go.

"Let's go!"

We're just going out for some ice cream, but with my friends, even the smallest of walks can turn into full-blown grand adventures. It's one of the things I love about them.

"So, where are we going?" I ask as we start off down Red Line.

"There's an ice cream parlor off of Loguetown Street," says Ace, "I've been meaning to try it out. I heard about it from Moda because they buy from her, so it must be good!"

"That's on the other side of Grand Line."

"Yes, yes it is."

"…Alright. Let's go! Adventure!" I cheer, "But, I'm not walking there, let's take Puffing Tom."

"Sounds good. We'll get to see Kokoro-san and Chimney!" Luffy laughs as he swings his arms back and forth, marching down the street, "Let's go! Adventure!"

Ace and I laugh as we run to catch up with Luffy. We make it to the stop just as the trolley pulls up and hop on.

"Why, if it isn't my three liveliest passengers," Kokoro says with a wide smile, "Where are you headed?"

"Loguetown!" we all answer.

"Ngagaga, that's quite far! Hopefully, I won't fall ashleep by tha' time we get t'ere."

"Kokoro-san, are you drunk?" asks Ace.

"Undeniably," the conductor responds cheerily.

"Woohoo! Ring the bell! Go super fast!" Luffy holds onto his hat as he leans out the window as the trolley picks up speed and I'm right behind him.

"Be careful you don't fall out!" Chimney tells us, ringing the trolley's bell.

"Adventuuuuure!"

* * *

 **7:30 pm**

It took an hour riding the trolley to get to the end of Grand Line.

And that was without Kokoro stopping to pick up any more passengers.

And also, going at a very dangerous speed.

Ace, Luffy, and I had fun waving to all of the bewildered people waiting at the stops as they zoomed by.

We tumbled out of the trolley with windswept hair and giddy with laughter and waved Kokoro and her granddaughter (and their 'cat') as they sped off. And finally, we got our ice cream.

Of course, we got Mint Chocolate Chip.

I got a moderate two scoops while Ace and Luffy each got nine. We walk down Loguetown Street as we enjoy our ice cream. We're discussing what sort of ice cream flavor is the best when I see a familiar head of white hair up ahead.

Officer Smoker is leaning against a light pole filling out a ticket for a car parked in front of a fire hydrant when a small child carrying an ice cream cone bumps into him. The cold treat falls on his pants leg and he looks down menacingly at the unfortunate girl, who looks like she's near tears. However, he bends down and pats her head, pulling out a few Beris.

"Go buy another ice cream. It's a shame this one got ruined," he tells her. The girl beams up at him, tears and dropped ice cream forgotten.

"Thanks, mister!"

Smoker goes back to writing his ticket.

"Wow, Smokie, you're such a giant teddy bear."

His eyes snap up to meet the three of us, standing here and smiling at his little display of cuteness.

"Portgas?!"

"Yo."

"Strawhat?!"

"Hi!"

"What the hell are you two doing here?" The officer growls, tearing out the ticket and slamming it onto the window shield of the car; oooh, it cracked a little bit where he hit it, wow he is strong.

"Ice cream!" the brothers say plainly.

"Adventure!" I say, "And ice cream."

Smoker looks at me like something just occurred to him.

"Wait, do you know these two punks?"

"What?"

"Of course May doesn't know us, Smokie," Ace casually leans an arm around my shoulder, licking his ice cream, "No way we know each other. That's impossible. Are you seeing things?"

"Shut your damn mouth, I could have you arrested right here and now—"

"You can't arrest us," Luffy says, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world; Smoker bristles.

"And why's that?" he growls.

"Because we're eating ice cream. You don't arrest people who have ice cream."

"You should have some too!" I tell him, "Come on, let's go get you some ice cream. My treat."

I latch onto his wrist with my cone-free hand and start pulling him.

"Now wait just a damn second here, I'm not going anywhere—"

"Objection overruled!" says Ace, grabbing his other wrist while Luffy pushes his back so that the policeman stumbles forward, "You're getting ice cream whether you like it or not."

"Get your hands off me!"

"Nope!"

* * *

 **8:15 pm**

We sit in the ice cream parlor with a disgruntled Smoker, eating our desserts and making Smoker sit back down every time he tries to get up and leave. I've finished my cone, but Luffy and Ace are still working on their nine scoops.

"Ah! It's dripping down the side. May, help me!"

"Wah! Mine is too. In that case, I'll just eat it all!"

"Luffy, that is such a bad idea—" I try to warn him, but it's too late.

"Ah! Brain freeze!"

I laugh and help lick up Ace's melting ice cream while Luffy tackles Smoker as he tries to lunge for the exit. Geez, you'd think he didn't like us!

"Let go of me, you brat! I have a patrol to do!"

"Not a chance! You don't get to leave until you finish your ice cream."

" _I don't even want any!"_

"I think Smoker likes us," Ace comments as we watch him and Luffy struggle; I look up at him with sparkles in my eyes.

"Does that means he wants to be our friend?!"

"Like hell I do! Let me go!"

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Well, I don't think I need to say that I'm late. It's kinda to be expected at this point =~= But, thank you so much guys, this story now has over 10k views!**

 **Albertasteinthe21stgenius - ;)**

 **Simply 'Guest'- Oooooh, retaliation from the Lawly side! And also! A new ship enters the ring?! We've got Madd (Kidd and May) on the table now!**

 **starrat- Thank you, you little sunshine person you!**

 **ADDBaby- Full pyro? Sounds wild :D**

 **KHR-Yunalesca- All hell breaks loose. That is all. (thank you ^u^)**

 **C- Yeah, I thought about Lace for May/Ace as well, but I thought there were too many people with 'L' names that Mace would be better. Also, Madd is apparently now a ship, so there you are ;D**

 **FSG Guest- *snap and strikes a pose, putting on sunglasses simultaneously* No way would CP9 be scared off just like that! We still have to see the rest of them. And yes, next month, Sabo is coming to town**

 **littlecatbug22- Hmm, love triangle between Law Ace and May? Their ship name would be complicated... Lacely maybe? Also, see above answer for when Sabo will arrive**

 **Thanks for reading everyone, stick around!**

 **-jj**


	37. Chapter 34-5: Ice Cream Bonus

**February 19/Friday/9:00 pm**

Smoker finally managed to give us the slip—I mean, he had to go do his job being all police-y and what not, and do whatever it is that police do. As for Luffy, Ace, and I, we haven't had nearly enough adventure yet, so we are out wandering the streets of Grand Line.

"So, what adventure shall we have first? Maybe, we'll see a Sea Cow! Or a wild Panda Shark! Wouldn't that be awesome?" Luffy asks.

"Yeah, if they traveled on land," Ace reminds him.

"Hey, if a giant whale can end up in the middle of Red Line, anything's possible," I say.

"I guess that's true."

There's a rumbling in the distance, and we look down the street as it grows louder. We stand and watch as many…things scurry past us, kicking up dust in their wake.

"…Did I just see a bunch of giant praying mantises stampede past us?" I ask outloud, to make sure I'm not seeing things.

"Yeah. Those were praying mantises," Ace confirms.

"…Let's follow them!" Luffy grabs us and pulls us along behind him, "Adventure!"

* * *

 **10:00 pm**

We lost sight of the giant praying mantises a long time ago when a snake the length of a cruise ship came slithering down the streets of Grand Line and we had to run away. Fortunately, we were able to escape when Ace and Luffy toppled a building on top of it together, giving us time to book it out of there. After we stopped running, we remembered that none of us had eaten dinner and dropped into a quiet little ramen stand to eat and get out of the sudden downpour of rain that the heavens decided to give us.

"I want to see fireflies," Luffy decides as we slurp up ramen noodles; he and Ace have gone through ten of their largest bowls so far.

"Where would they be in a city, do you think?" I ask him through a mouthful of noodles.

"I dunno."

"Right."

We pay for the ramen and head on our way, the rain having cleared up.

"I'm telling you, we'd be most likely to find them in a park where there's not so many lights," Ace tells his brother.

"No, no, they've got to be somewhere that there's fire! Otherwise they wouldn't be called 'fireflies', stupid!" Luffy bickers with him.

The two argue behind me as we walk, trying to decide where to go. Coming towards us in the other direction is a buff man with messy blond hair and a couple scars scattered across his face. He's also wearing sun glasses. Even though it's nighttime.

He smirks at me as we pass him.

"Hey, sugar tits! Why don'tcha ditch those two losers and come spend the night with me? I'll show you a good time."

I turn around to ask why he's willing to invite a perfect stranger to have a sleepover, but when I turn back, he's on the ground, sleeping. I blink in confusion.

"Huh? Is he not the guy that said that? And why is he unconscious?" I ask in puzzlement.

"It's a mystery," Luffy says as he brushes off his knuckles.

"Maybe he has narcolepsy," Ace says shortly, placing his hand on my back and trying to lead me away; I drag my feet and refuse to budge.

"Wait, then where's the person that called out? I want to know why he wants to have a sleepover."

"I don't think he was talking about a sleepover, May," Luffy says, also trying to push me away, but I firmly dig my heels into the ground, resisting them.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Sex, May, he was offering sex. S-E-X," Ace spells it out for me.

I blink.

"Oh. Right."

I finally let myself get pushed along by the two brothers.

I don't notice Ace give the guy a final hearty kick in the stomach before we walk away.

"I would've much preferred a sleepover."

* * *

 **11:00 pm**

We were unsuccessful in finding fireflies, but we did manage to have several adventures along the way. There seems to be an unusual amount of creatures that are larger than they should be running around tonight.

Luffy got snatched off the ground by a giant bird that Ace and I then had to chase down. We rescued Luffy from its huge nest on the top of a skyscraper, but then Ace got carried away by some type of fluffy-hippo-looking creatures and we had to go save _him._ When we got that all sorted out, we realized we ended in the red-light district of Grand Line and had to struggle to get out while people practically threw themselves at Ace and Luffy (although I think some of them may have misunderstood Ace's lack of proper clothes to be something he's not). It was quite the sight.

By the time we made it back to the Puffing Tom to go home, all of us were tired.

I'm especially tired considering how little sleep I've had. We sit side by side on the seats, Luffy and Ace are leaning on each of my shoulders while I lean on Luffy's head.

The train bell rings quietly and I peek an eye open at Kokoro.

"You said you wanted t' see some fireflies?" she says quietly, pointing out of the trolley which is stopped by a park, "Jaya district has some good ones."

I nudge the brothers dozing on my shoulders awake and we appreciate the quietly glowing lights twinkling in and out of existence through the park trees.

A large South bird lands on the window of the trolley, staring at us with his beady eye.

Luffy sticks his tongue out at the colorful bird.

"What do you want, feathers?" he asks it, "Move, you're blocking my view!"

The bird glares at my little baby and lets out a single caw.

" _Choh_!"

With a flap of its wings, it's gone.

"What was that about?" asks Ace.

"Who knows."

We hear a rumbling in the distance and a low hum. We all look around to see where the noise is coming from. From the park, we see swarms and swarms of insects rushing towards us.

"That stupid bird set those bugs on us!"

"Kokoro-san, get us out of here now!"

"Drive, Granny, drive!

* * *

 **February 20/Saturday/12:00 am**

Luffy is carrying me on his back because I'm incredibly tired. Hey, for running on half an hour of sleep for just three hours short of twenty four hours, I think I've done pretty well. Luffy insisted on carrying me when I started running into light poles and trashcans a while ago though.

"Heehee, I feel like such a little kid again."

When I was younger and we drove to town, my mother would bring us to an ice cream shop after she took care of any business she had. We would then spend the rest of the day or night walking around since we didn't see the city we lived near that often and I would walk until I was so tired she had to carry me like Luffy is now. I would always fall asleep and wake up buckled into her old beat up truck and then fall asleep and wake back up tucked into bed. Those were always good times, I remember.

"I think it's time for May to go to bed," I hear Ace tell Luffy.

"It's been time for May to go to bed a long time ago," I correct him sleepily.

"Yeah, time to sleep."

Luffy and Ace deposit me on my bed and make sure to tuck me in.

"You guys are the best," I mumble, already half-asleep.

"Damn straight we are."

"Nighty night, May!"

I smile and turn over, getting comfortable, wrapping the blankets around me.

"Night."

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Just a little bonus chapter before I resume regular chapters. See you all next time! (I'll also answer reviews then) (Also: If you don't think Bellamy is a f*ckboy that wears muscle shirts and catcalls women, well, I'm not saying you're wrong, but you're wrong.)**


	38. Chapter 35: In Which There Are Animals

**February 20/Saturday/7:00 am**

"Chou Chou~!" I call as I burst out of the kitchen, finished cleaning after all my baking, "It's time for a bath!"

My little white dog trots over to me and allows me to pick him up and bring him back to the sink. He really is such a good dog. I'm glad that Luffy found him and brought him in, because he makes the café much less lonely.

I start the warm, soapy water and begin to clean him when the door slams open and I hear a _crack!_ as it hits the wall.

"May! Food!"

"In the kitchen, Luffy!" I call to him and he comes bouncing in.

"Good morning," he gives me a hug and then peers over my shoulder to see what I'm doing, "Oh, is it that day?"

"Sure is," I beam at him and continue washing Chou Chou, "I can actually celebrate it now, too!"

The bell rings and I dry off my hands to go see who it is.

"Luffy, mind taking over for me?"

"Sure!"

I come out to see Law stepping up to the counter. He looks a bit more tired than usual, maybe. It's hard to tell really, but I think the shadows under his eyes are deeper than usual.

"Late night?"

"Yes. I need coffee."

"You got it."

Law glances around as if he's looking for something. He doesn't seem to find it.

"Where's the pie?"

"What?"

"The pie."

"What pie?"

"Isn't it Cherry Pie Day?"

I blink at him before a grin breaks out on my face.

"Aw, Law, did you research what holidays are today so you could impress us with your knowledge?"

He smacks my head.

"No-shut up."

"You totally did! Lu! Come look, Law's being really cute! He wanted to look cool by knowing it's Cherry Pie Day," Law tries to get me to stop talking, but I dodge his hands.

"Why would we celebrate Cherry Pie Day?" Luffy asks him comes out of the kitchen with soapy hands and a very wet and dripping Chou Chou hanging off his head, "Cherry pie's gross. Are you dumb, Torao?"

"Shut up."

He's tipping his hat to cover his eyes while Luffy pokes his cheek.

"You should bring Bepo in today if you have time," I laugh as Law smacks Luffy's hand away, "We don't celebrate Cherry Pie Day, 'cause Luffy hates it, but it is Love Your Pet Day."

"Bepo's not a pet. He's a friend," says the doctor, pushing Luffy's face away from him to hold him at bay.

"You just keep getting cuter and cuter," I giggle.

"I'm _not_ cute."

"No shame in being cute," Luffy tells him, "Look at me, I'm cute as hell and I don't feel any shame."

"You have no shame in the first place."

"True!"

I grab a towel and pull Chou Chou off of Luffy's head to dry him off, then another towel to throw over my dumplings head because it's wet now too. However, he just shakes it off and showers me and Law with droplets that smell vaguely like wet dog in the process.

"Eek! Luffy, stop! You're getting us wet!"

* * *

 **10:15 am**

Kidd arrives at the café today with Heat riding on his shoulders. He looks much less intimidating when he has a fluffy blue cat rubbing its face against his.

"Are you celebrating it, too?" I ask him enthusiastically, "You're celebrating Love Your Pet Day too, right?"

"What the hell is that? No, this bastard just decided to cling to me like an annoying dick he is," Kidd holds Heat by the scruff of the neck and puts him down; the cat quickly jumps back onto Red's broad shoulders, "Anyway, I never returned this."

He places the airpot that I sent off with him and Killer a while ago on the counter. It looks like it's been cleaned and shiny, wow, it looks better than when I first bought it.

"Did you polish it?"

"I don't like it when metal is tarnished, okay? It's not like I did it for you."

"Aw, thank you so much!"

"Did you listen to me? I said I didn't—"

"Want some coffee?" I cut him off, pulling out a few more airpots, "You can take as many as you like, just be sure to bring them back."

"You just want me to clean them, don't you?" Red sighs in irritation.

"What? Of course not, that would be silly. Make sure to make them super shiny, please and thank you!"

Kidd stays a bit longer while I fawn over Heat—he's also a very well-behaved animal, like Chou Chou—but then he has to go on his way when we turn our backs on the dog and cat for a moment and the sofa catches on fire.

* * *

 **12:30 pm**

Mr. Mihawk is here sitting at Nester, and I'm making him lunch because Luffy and Ace aren't here for me to make lunch for them, and I need someone to make lunch for, so he's being a fill-in, even though he doesn't know it yet. Luffy is with Sanji and Ace is at the zoo, as are all of the other workers today. After all, the animals at the zoo are basically their beloved pets so they're spending the day with all of them.

Chou Chou is underneath the kitchen table playing with a lion plushie with a purple mane that I got him for today. He's enjoying biting it to shreds right now.

I tap the spoon on the side of the pan and hang up my apron, then bring out lunch for Mr. Dracule. He sets down his paper and raises an eyebrow at me.

"So, do you have any pets?" I ask, taking the seat at Nester across from him and starting on my own food.

"No."

"Really? I kinda pegged you as that lonely single guy that has a million pets to fill the void of human companionship that you're missing. Kinda like a crazy cat lady."

"I don't like animals."

"Oh. So, how did you and Shanks first meet?"

Mihawk sets down his newspaper and finally picks up his fork in resignation, apparently realizing that he won't be getting back to it anytime soon.

"We met twenty three years ago. The idiot had caused some trouble of one kind or another and was running away, jumped off the roof of a building and landed on the roof of my car, then proceeded to climb in through the window and demand that I drive him away. He then dragged me to a bar and got drunk."

"Wow, he hasn't changed at all," I marvel.

"Idiots never change."

"I guess so. That's actually funny though, I had a similar meeting. The first time I met Shanks, he ran into the café asking if he could lay low for a bit, then he drank all of the booze I had and started telling me stories about Luffy when he was a kid. It wasn't until later that we realized we both knew Luffy."

Mihawk nods.

"Idiots never change."

* * *

 **3:00 pm**

Hancock and her sisters came in briefly today, but since Luffy wasn't here, she decided it wasn't worth her time to stick around. Marigold and Sandersonia each got some coffee though and told me that the magazines would be coming out soon so I should keep an eye out for them. They also said Elder Nyon wanted me to come back, but I'm still not sure about the whole modeling thing. It was fun, but I have a café to run, and hardly have enough free time as it is.

Anyway, I'm playing Sudoku and absently rubbing Chou Chou's tummy when the door flies open.

"Hi May!" Ace strolls in with a bear koala perched on top of his head, clinging onto his hat, "You should close up early and come to the zoo today."

"What? Why would I do that?"

"So you can see all the animals of course! We're having a play day with them and I thought you'd like to come along."

"But, it's only three…" I trail off.

"Lots of cute fluffy animals," he tries to persuade me, "And Cheetah Mama's babies are super cute and fuzzy now."

"Okay, you got me."

"Yes!"

Ace cheers as the door opens again and Law walks inside, brushing some snow from his shoulders. Bepo is clinging to his back.

"Hello, Torao-sensei! See you've got the polar bear again."

"Dog. He's a dog."

"Yeah, yeah. Hey! You should come, too!" Ace says, "I'm sure the polar bear—"

"Dog."

"Yea, dog, whatever, would like to see some more 'dogs'. We have them at the zoo, so you should come."

"Oh, yes! Law, come with us, it'll be fun!" I pick up Chou Chou and a cup of coffee for Law and walk out from behind the counter, handing the doctor his drink.

"I don't know—"

"Yeah, you want to come," Ace cuts him off and starts for the door.

I smile at Law and follow my friend.

"You brought Bepo after all."

"I'm taking him for a walk. It's coincidence that I ended up here."

"Right, right. Sure. Ace, listen to this! Law here researched what holiday it would be today to try and impress us."

"Really? Aw, that's so cute, Torao."

"Fuck off."

* * *

 **4:45 pm**

The three of us arrived at the zoo, Ace with the bear koala still hanging onto his hat, Law with Bepo on his back, and me with Chou Chou in my arms.

Izo, passing by with a panda bear folded into his arms, greets us.

"Ace, you know you have a bear koala on your head."

"Huh? When did this little guy get here?"

"Ace! Cheetah Mama's being difficult again and not letting us check up on her babies," Haruta runs up to us with several parrots on his hands and more perched on his shoulders, "You need to come distract her. Hey, you have a polar bear on your back. Are you a new worker here?"

"Dog. He's a dog. And he's mine."

Haruta sends him a funny look, but decides he has better things to do than point out that the animal on Law's back is clearly a polar bear cub and shakes his head.

"Whatever. So long as you didn't steal it from the zoo. Ace, you should head over there soon."

"Okay. Come on you two, I'll show you behind the scenes."

We follow Ace inside a large gate that is for employees only.

"I didn't realize you worked for Whitebeard, Ace-ya," Law says as we stroll along the path with the occasional worker passing us, usually carrying some animal no matter how large. Thatch walked casually by with a rhino draped over his shoulder at one point.

"Right? Isn't it so cool?" I ask, "It's awesome that he gets to work at a zoo."

"…That's not what I was referring to—oh," I don't see Ace frantically making 'stop talking this instant signs' behind my back, "Right. Yes, a zoo. It's cool."

* * *

 **6:00 pm**

I scratch my head in confusion.

"How did we end up here?"

"Your guess is as good as mine, May-ya."

Law and I are currently sitting on some rocks by a pool of water, surrounded by spotted seals. They're really cuddling up to Law, poking him curiously with their noses and sniffing him all over. Bepo has crawled up to sit on his shoulders while I'm keeping Chou Chou safely in my arms.

We got separated from Ace when a herd of zebras ran past us at a crossroads, and then we got supremely lost trying to find him again.

A seal flops onto Law's lap and another tries to climb up onto his back while another knocks his hat askew.

I take out my phone and start taking pictures.

"What are you doing. Stop taking pictures of me this instant."

"Don't worry. I blackmail all my friends."

Law goes to take my phone, but I scoot away out of his reach. He gets blocked by the seals crowding around him. Having enough, he stands up and bears down on me, reaching for me phone. I just laugh and scoot over more, but suddenly, there's nowhere for me to scoot. With a shriek, I fall off the rock and into the pool, Chou Chou jumping out of my arms with my phone in his mouth.

I break the surface gasping for air to find Law laughing at me. I stick my tongue out at him as I climb out of the water.

"Justice is sweet," he smirks down at me, offering me a tattooed hand to get out.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," I grumble.

I ring out my ponytail, shed my dripping cardigan, and slip out of my shoes where there are puddles forming on the inside.

"Well, I reckon we should find some way to get out of here," I say, shading my hand to look at the setting sun.

We climb carefully down from the rocks and make our way out of the seal enclosure. I see an exit sign to enter the main part of the zoo and sigh in relief.

Figuring that there's no point in waiting around, Law and I walk through the zoo, taking in the animals, many of which are playing with the zoo workers. I hold my sopping shoes and cardigan in hand so that they dry faster.

All in all, it's a pretty good way to spend time.

Law pays for some smoothies from a cart, seeing as all of my Beri got wet, and we take a moment to sit down, our animals playing together and tumbling around on the ground.

"Thanks for coming today, Law," I smile at him, "I don't know what I would've done if I got lost on my own today."

He just nods.

The intercom system throughout the zoo gives a ding.

" _Attention: We are currently looking for two lost children, May-chan and Law-kun. These children are about 171 cm and 191 centimeters tall and have two white dogs with them. May-chan's BWH is 105, 68, 85, and Law-kun is a very grumpy probably extremely sadistic-looking person. If found, please contact the nearest zoo employee. Thank you."_

I stare up at the intercom.

"How the hell do they know my BHW?"

Law crosses his arms.

"I'm not grumpy," he says, grumpily.

"Are those two the lost kids?"

"They look rather old to be getting lost."

We glance around to find people staring at us and murmuring behind their hands.

"We're not lost!" I yell at them, sticking out my tongue, "Mind your own business!"

The people scatter and I give a satisfactory _hmph!_ before turning back to Law.

"C'mon, let's go find the nearest zoo employee. We should find Ace and get out of here."

We stroll along and I grab Law's hand.

"So we don't get lost from each other," I tell him, swinging our arms back and forth childishly, "I had fun today!"

Law lets himself get pulled along until we find Ace, who runs towards us, crying that he thought he'd never see us again and that he was so happy to have his lost babies back under his wing.

He immediately gets smacked by both Law and I.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Shoot, and I was so close to updating on time, too! Oh well. Life goes on, but I'll try hard to get tomorrow's chapter out on time, okay?**

 **KHR-Yunalesca- Yup! Lots of things happening. And don't worry, Smoker'll warm up eventually. After all, they always do...HAHAHAHA- (And, I'm glad you liked the bonus. We'll be learning more about May's backstory in the coming months ;D)**

 **ADDBaby- Thanks! Also, wow, your family is intense. And hey, you have to have Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream on Chocolate Mint Day! Obviously! Hmm, I kinda like all flavors except for chocolate, but what I like even more than ice cream is gelato. Stuff's the bomb!**

 **C- Heehee, sure thing! Also, I try to review my stories myself and catch any mistakes I make. Obviously, I'm not always successful, but I don't think I've made any huge mistakes so far.**

 **starrat- Thanks! You make my day a lot brighter :D**

 **Albertasteinthe21stgenius- There ain't no rest for the wicked lol And yes, Bellamy is the biggest jerk. The hugest jerkiest jerk. Unbelievable**

 **Awesome Guest- Thank you so much! I'm trying to write them in a way that it's not all 'oh, you silly boys, what am I going to do with you' while May stands off to the side. I hope I'm doing a good job?**

 **Anyway, thanks for reading! Stick around!**

 **-jj**


	39. Chapter 36: In Which There Is Fighting

**February 21/Sunday/5:55 am**

Someone pokes my shoulder.

I grumble quietly and turn over in my bed, pulling the blankets more tightly around me and burying my head more firmly into my pillows.

The poking becomes more pronounced.

I swat away the hand, trying to stay asleep, but it comes back. Finally, the insistent poker gives up and I settle back into bed.

And then, they poke my side.

With a high-pitched squeak, I lurch up and scream when I see a scary dark figure leaning over my bed. With all the reflexes and strength of a cornered mongoose, I grab my pillow and throw it at the person's face.

It hits them with a soft _thwump!_ and falls harmlessly to the floor and I see who it is.

It's Law.

At least I think it is. I don't have my glasses on, so he's very blurry. But I'm like, eighty percent sure it's him.

"What the hell're you doing here?"

"Morning. You told me to wake you if I needed coffee," the doctor says nonchalantly, crossing his arms and leaning back from the bed.

"Oh. Right, I guess I did."

I sit in bed, scratching my head and looking around the slowly lightening room. The sky outside is a pretty dove grey.

"Well, suppose I'll get up. Gimme a sec to get ready and I'll be right down."

I go into the bathroom first and grab my contacts from the cabinet before starting my routine to get ready for the day. Law walks out the room to go downstairs, but before he exits, he turns back.

"You're quite ticklish, May-ya."

He gets a pillow thrown in his face to answer his smug smirk.

* * *

 **8:00 am**

"May! Food!"

Ah, and there's my little monkey, bursting through the door and creating more cracks in my café's wall like usual. He slides into the kitchen where I'm putting a sheet of cookies into the oven and latches onto my waist.

"Good morning! May, you'll never believe what I just saw! There was a line of okamas on the street today, all dancing and doing ballet stuff. Anyway, I talked to the guy that was their dance-sensei or something, and they were an interesting person! They were able to change their face with makeup and look like an entirely new person! We're good friends now. After that, I was walking and ran into a lotta Kung-Fu Dugongs. Look! I have a lot of disciples!"

Luffy points to the doorway where a pack of walrus-manatee-looking creatures are crowding around, watching Luffy avidly.

"What are they doing in the city? They aren't from the zoo, are they?"

"Probably," Luffy shrugs, "But that doesn't matter! After I fought all of these dugongs and won, I ran into a giant crab that was chasing Nami and Vivi…"

I listen to him tell me about his morning and the crazy adventures he's managed to get into already and I also tell him how my morning has been so far. He laughs when I recount how I attacked Law with my highly deadly Pillow of Eternal Pain and quite honestly it's a miracle that he survived my assault and that the doctor barely made it out of the exchange with his life.

After we have breakfast and I go back to my baking, Luffy entertains me with stories of what he was up to yesterday as he instructs the dugongs on how to punch properly. They follow his form with rigid discipline and enthusiasm. In exchange, I tell him all about the zoo and the adventures I got into with Ace and Law.

However, he has to go when he gets a call from Nami telling him to come help her and Vivi because they're stuck in the Alabasta district with a very giant crab and can't get out.

He promises to come back for lunch before he walks out the door though.

* * *

 **10:45 am**

Mihawk came in for coffee and to read his daily newspaper right at ten o'clock, but was soon chased off when Shanks arrived for some coffee (and to try and wheedle some alcohol from me) and only a few people have come in since.

There is a small stand across the street right now where a man in sunglasses and a woman with an umbrella are selling lemonade.

They seem to be having terrible luck though. It's very windy today, so the stand along with the woman and her umbrella keep getting swept down the street and every time it happens, they need to reassemble everything all over again.

This has been going on for a while now.

And then, the poor folks, Luffy and Zoro come tumbling down Red Line and knock over their lemonade stand while they exchange blows. I rush outside as my friends punch through the cement sidewalk and continue to battle.

"Woo! Fight!" I cheer.

The lemonade sellers don't look too happy and move to attack my friends, but they're sent flying when they try to interfere with their fight. The man lands in a dumpster and the woman goes crashing through a window somewhere in the distance.

"Ten points, Lu! Zoro, you only get eight point two, Luffy sent that woman further than you did! Kick Zoro's ass, Lu!"

"Shut up, May!" Zoro yells at me, blocking a kick from Luffy before retaliating, "Whose side are you on here?!"

"Obviously Luffy's. Go baby! Take no prisoners, make me proud!"

"Thanks, May!" Luffy laughs as he's thrown onto a fire hydrant, breaking it. Water shoots up in a geyser and rains down on us.

"Nice one, Zoro! That's a solid nine for breaking the fire hydrant," I call to him, using my hands to make my voice louder over the raging water.

" _Who's side are you on?!"_

I just laugh as I sit back and watch the ensuing destruction my friends wreak upon the buildings unfortunate enough to be in their vicinity. And cars. And light poles. And random passing strangers that get barreled into by thrown objects and/or other people.

So long as it's not my café, I'm pretty indifferent to whatever catastrophes my friends cause.

And there goes Zoro, flying through the window of the Spiders Café. I poke my head through the Zoro-shaped hole to look into the café and see he's landed on an outraged Paula who's spluttering incoherently in rage and shock.

"Sorry about them, Paula!" I call, "You'll probably have to get used to it. Happens all the time!"

She just shrieks some more and starts throwing all things nearby at Zoro. A stray piece of chucked debris hits my head and I giggle. She's taking it pretty well. Much better than I did when Luffy first crashed through my window.

Now, _that_ is a day I'll never forget.

I hum to myself as I step inside my café to grab my tea again and continue watching Luffy and Zoro tear up Red Line.

Never a boring day on this street, is there?

* * *

 **12:20 pm**

"I think that was a record!" Luffy says as he eats his lunch, "You really sent me flying, Zoro, it must've been a hundred yards at least!"

He holds out his arms as wide as he can to emphasize the distance and Zoro grins.

"Heh, thanks. I think your punches have gotten stronger as well. I felt that last one."

"Right?! Isn't my punch like a bullet?!"

"I think that's also a record for how long it took the police to show up," I say as I push more food onto both of their plates, "They were there so fast! Too bad they got knocked out by that car you guys kicked out of your way."

"They would've interfered, so good riddance," Zoro says, not concerned that they technically attacked police officers.

"Oh, and you apologized to Paula, right?" I ask him; amazingly, for once, my café is the only building that avoided damage from this round of fighting. That almost never happens, "She'll probably get used to it soon, but she's still new so she doesn't know that this is normal."

"Nope. Nami told me to be careful of that woman, so I don't really care what happens to her café," he shrugs, "Who sets up a café right next to another one anyway? She's better off moving off Red Line as soon as possible."

"What is it with Nami and Paula? I don't get it," I sigh, "Why can't they get along?"

"Who knows. People are weird."

The bell rings and I look over to the door. It's Hancock.

The moment she sees Luffy, she squeaks and rushes over to him with her arms outstretched. However, at that moment, Luffy leans to the side to reach over Zoro and grab the salt, making her miss my dumpling and faceplant onto the counter.

She quickly straightens herself with a huff as if she didn't just trip and get a face full of wood, brushing off her clothes. She notices me staring at her with a slight smile and raised eyebrows and scowls, red tinting her ears.

"You okay?" I ask.

"You didn't see anything," she says forcefully.

"Right."

"Nothing, you hear me?"

"Right."

I already got my pictures of that whole ordeal anyway, so it doesn't matter.

"Ah, Hammock!" Luffy exclaims, noticing her after he got into a small squabble with Zoro over manners and not reaching across someone, "What are you doing here?"

"I-I came here to see you," she says shyly, "It's been so long since we've last met."

"Hm? I guess it has been. Uh, I think in situations like this, Makino said to ask how you've been doing. How have you been doing?"

Hancock's face explodes in a blush and she turns off to the side. Meaning, directly at me, so I hear her when she says "He cares about me!" in a love-stricken voice.

The bell rings again and another lady comes strolling in. She's quite beautiful, with dark curls and shiny red lips and a confident walk.

"Hello, ma'am, welcome!"

She ignores me and singles out Luffy, making a beeline for him. Pushing aside Hancock, she hugs him.

"Huh? What's happening—?" Luffy cries as she squeezes him tightly.

"Darling! I've been looking for you everywhere," the woman says lovingly, "I'm so glad I found you."

"What the hell are you doing?" Luffy asks in bewilderment, pushing her off of him, "And wait—who are you anyway?"

"Don't you recognize me?" she flips her hair directly into Hancock's face and the woman seethes behind her, "Well, I admit that I have become much more beautiful, even more than I was before."

"No, I don't know you, stop trying to hug me," Luffy presses his foot against her stomach to keep her away as she tries to move closer again.

"It's me, Alvida! Don't you remember? You handled me so forcefully that time."

Hancock looks like she's about to have an aneurysm, she's so furious. I spit out my tea.

"Alvida!? You mean that unpleasant witch that came in here a few weeks ago and had that pink-hair kid stalk Luffy?! _That_ Alvida?!"

"You make it sound so negative," she sniffs, "I just wanted to know more about my love. That little brat Coby quit anyway."

Hancock seriously looks like she's about to give this woman a piece of her mind…and probably a stiletto heel to the face, so I grab onto the irate woman's arm to hold her back momentarily and jump in before she can attack.

"Look lady, you don't get to waltz in here after threatening to destroy my home and then stalking my friend," I tell her angrily, "I would like it if you left immediately and don't come back."

Hancock nods in agreement, placing a hand on her hip and looking down upon the woman haughtily.

"And who said he's your love? Luffy is my soulmate, we're destined to be together. Stop disgracing us with your presence."

Okay, we could've done without the whole 'soulmate thing', but Hancock sure can be commanding when she wants, in a way that makes it hard to disobey. However, the woman just smirks.

"And what are you going to do if I steal him away?"

Holy shi— _where did she pull that giant iron club from?!_

"Bring it on!" Hancock challenges, "I won't be taken down by a pathetic swine like yourself!"

Before I know what's happening, the woman are fighting and Quintin is, for the six hundred and twenty-first time, in pieces.

Whoever thinks that 'catfights' between women are funny and cute must have been watching adorable kittens play-fight and not two fully grown and very serious women go at each other. There's no hair pulling or scratching nails in this battle, they look like they are out to kill each other and fully capable of doing so.

That is before I knock them out with phonebooks and call up Iceburg in tears while Luffy and Zoro decide it's probably best to finish eating quickly and leave.

* * *

 **5:00 pm**

Iceburg and Paulie picked me up like usual, weeping over Quintin, and whisked me off to Galley-La along with my beloved table. Chaos ensued of course, but Quintin made it out safe and sound. A few more scars to add to his impressive collection, but in one piece and hey, that's all that matters.

A few workers drove back to the café so I could make us all an early dinner as thanks for their help.

I trip over something as we put Quintin back in his place, right at the front.

Oh. Hancock and Alvida are still here.

"Hey, guys, can you get this lady out of here? She's the one that broke Quintin today," I point at Alvida.

"What?! How dare she?"

"Out on the streets with her!"

"Heave ho!"

They lift her up and toss her unceremoniously outside while I pat Hancock's cheek softly to wake her up. I get punched squarely in the jaw when she comes to.

"And another thing, bitch—! What? Where am I? Where's Luffy?" she blinks, looking around in confusion.

"Owww, my face," I groan, clutching at my chin in pain, "How's your head? I'm sorry for throwing phonebook at you, but you guys broke Quintin."

"I'm fine," she sniffs, glancing at where I'm holding my chin, "…Is your jaw—well, what I mean is—does it—"

"It's fine," I grin at her, "I'm going to make dinner for the guys. Do you want to stick around?"

"…I suppose I could stay a while longer."

"Great! You were awesome, by the way. I didn't know you could fight. It was so cool to watch, if you hadn't broken Quintin, I would have loved to see more," I give her a quick hug and stand while she blushes and then pushes my face away to hide her embarrassment.

I laugh; I guess Hancock can be cute sometimes, even if Luffy's not around.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Well, just a little bit too late, but we're getting there. Tomorrow, tomorrow is the day I'll get this on time, promise.**

 **FSG Guest- *snaps, then snaps, then snaps again because holy cow you left three reviews at once*I think it's pretty safe to say that all of May's friends are involved in 'shady business'. What? You didn't think that just because this is a coffee AU they'd be perfectly upstanding citizens, did you? Haha, that'd be hilarious. (And of course Law is, he's like the shadiest of them all lol)**

 **KHR-Yunalesca- Yep! Chou Chou is such a cutie and Bepo is too! But, I don't think that carrying around gigantic pet snakes and panthers or eagles is exactly the safest thing to do in the middle of a city. The Boa sisters do have their pets, but they don't accompany them, even if it is Love Your Pet Day :D And omigosh, thank you so much! I'm so happy to hear that**

 **Guest- LACELY FTW YES (And also, we'll definitely be seeing them more, so don't you fret!)**

 **Thanks for reading guys, stick around!**

 **-jj**


	40. Chapter 37: In Which We Have Margaritas

**February 22/Monday/7:00 am**

The door of my bedroom slams open and I scream as I bolt upright in my bed to see a red blur come streaking towards me, giggling—yes, _giggling_ —maniacally. Luffy dive bombs onto my bed, banging his forehead against mine, but since he has a freakishly thick skull, he's in considerably less pain than I am as he hugs me. Chou Chou opens one eye lazily and huffs disdainfully at Luffy before turning his head and settling it back on his paws.

"Luffy, did you break my front door again?" I ask with a tired and pained moan as I pat his back.

"Yup! Oh, sorry. But, good morning!"

 _Sigh._

Why does destruction have to walk on two legs, wear a straw hat, and be so darn cute?

"Morning. So, what do you have planned that you're here so early?"

"Floating mystery park!" Luffy cheers.

It takes me a moment, but I think I remember him saying something about that a while ago. I rub the sleep out of my eyes, yawn, and then rub my cheeks forcefully to help me wake up.

"Okay! Adventure today!" I say with fresh enthusiasm, "Breakfast and then let's go?"

"Yes!"

Luffy jumps out of the bed and I go to get dressed.

"Also, I might have eaten everything in the fridge. Sorry, May!"

Well, guess I'll have to make a shopping trip today, once we've gone on our adventure. Looks like this Monday isn't going to be a lazy one for me.

* * *

 **8:00 am**

We grabbed a couple of our friends on our way to the much-anticipated 'Skypiea', the new floating park above Grand Line in the Jaya district. Robin, because she knows everything, fills us in on what attractions it has in store and that apparently the food is amazing as we stroll down the streets, keeping an eye out for our wallets because Jaya is infamous for its pickpockets and other sorts of unsavory characters.

I dodge around a groping hand and look up at the floating park, shading my eyes from the bright sun.

"Wah! It's so high up there!"

"Mystery park!"

"How do we get up?" Nami wonders out loud, "Is there a lift? Or do we have to take stairs? That's a lot of stairs…"

We come to a stop at the base of the floating park, humongous white pillars that spiral around each other to look like a giant beanstalk.

"Going to Skypiea?"

We all look over at an old lady we didn't notice before, sitting at a small little booth. She has her pale purple hair styled into two buns and can barely see over the top of the booth.

"Yes, granny!" Luffy tells her enthusiastically, "How do we get up?"

"10000 Beri per person," she pulls out a camera and starts snapping pictures of our group.

We stare at her.

"Why do I feel like I do whenever May takes a picture?" Usopp asks us.

"No, I know what you mean," Zoro answers, distracted by the flash of the camera, "I feel like I'm in the process of being blackmailed."

I straighten up; we can't have that!

No one out-blackmails me.

So, I pull out my phone and start taking pictures of the little old lady in retaliation. She snaps a picture.

 _Click._

I snap one as well.

 _Click._

We stare each other down as we continue to take photos, quiet but determined. She takes another photo.

 _Click._

I aggressively take one right back.

 _Click._

 _Click click._

 _Click click click click click click click._

"What is happening?" Chopper asks, at a complete loss.

"A battle of wills," Luffy crosses his arms and nods seriously.

"This is stupid," growls Zoro, "Look, old lady, we want to get in."

"If you want to get in, it's 10000 Beri per person," she says, still taking pictures.

 _Click click click._

This lady's good, but I'm not going to be outdone in photo-taking.

"That's way too expensive," Nami says flatly.

"That's the price," the old woman replies indifferently, locked in camera combat with me, "But, you can go up without paying if you want. There's nothing I can do to stop you."

"Really?! Thanks, granny!"

Luffy grabs my hand and pulls me away, even as I stubbornly continue to take pictures.

The woman presses a button and the bottom of the pillar opens up to reveal an elevator and the seven of us pile in. It rises and we cheer.

"Mystery park!"

* * *

 **9:30 am**

"Wow~! This is incredible!"

"It's like we're swimming in a cloud!"

"I don't know what this stuff is, but it's amazing!"

"Obviously it's a mystery cloud."

Apparently, Skypiea is a water park in the sky. It has enormous pools filled with these cloud-like things that we are swimming in. We didn't bring swimsuits because we didn't know, but the park provided some from their little gift shop (although we had to pay for them), so there's no worries.

Luffy is latched onto me like a monkey as we wade through the cloud-water because he can't swim. Likewise, Chopper is clutching onto Zoro's back and Robin is being carried by Nami like a princess. Sanji offered to carry her, but she politely declined. When Usopp asked Sanji if he would carry him, Sanji not-so-politely declined him.

Nami and I wander away from the others, carrying our respective anchors-in-the-water.

"We should go to Party's for margaritas tonight," I tell them as we calmly float along.

"Oh, margaritas," Nami moans wistfully, "That sounds amazing. Can't we go right now? I had a late night working because it turns out some incompetent at the bank has been misfiling stuff for a week and I had to stay to fix it all until four in the morning."

"Sorry, Nami," I giggle apologetically, "You'll have to wait."

She drops her forehead on Robin's shoulder with a tired sigh and the older woman pats her head sympathetically.

"Hahaha! Bear witness, all you lowly humans!" We glance up at a platform high above the water that Usopp stands upon, posing heroically, "The Great Usopp stands above you all, and god amongst you mere mortals!"

"Get down from there before you slip and break your neck!" Sanji yells at him.

"Usopp, you shouldn't go climbing places you're not supposed to!" Chopper calls in worry.

"As if you could stand above me, dumbass! Don't act all high and mighty," that's Zoro.

"You look cool, Usopp!" laughs Luffy.

"Do a flip!" I cheer in encouragement.

"O-Of course! A little flip is no challenge for the Great Usopp," he stutters, looking down at us and realizing just how far up his is, "I'll just—"

He loses his footing and tumbles down into the water with all the grace of a walrus on land and belly flops right into the pool. He sinks with a couple trails of bubbles quietly breaking the surface and Sanji has to dive down, cursing about stupid clumsy idiots all the way, to bring him back up. The rest of us (besides Chopper, the big soft-hearted kiddo he is) laugh at the whole debacle.

"Real smooth," Nami smirks at him when he and Sanji come back up, gasping for air.

"Jealous," Usopp wheezes at her.

* * *

 **1:30 pm**

We've had a good time exploring this park. A worker named Conis has been gracious enough to show us around and show us how to open a special fruit that they offer here for visitors. The workers here have an odd sort of uniform that they wear small wings on their backs. It reminds me of Gedatsu, the man who works at the onsen across the street.

Huh.

Anyway, at the moment my friends and I are playing a lively game of chicken. So far, Nami and I are the undefeated winners. Zoro and Luffy had a good try, but my papoose was too enthusiastic and tried to use his feet as well as his hands in the fight, which caused Zoro to lose his balance and led to their ultimate demise.

Zoro and Sanji have teamed up now in an effort to dethrone us, but they weren't too smart about who's on top.

"Ah, wait, my top is coming undone!"

Sanji hesitates in his attack on Nami as they fight hand to hand trying to get the other to fall into the water. Some blood is trickling down his nose as Nami tries to take advantage of his dropped guard and push him off Zoro's shoulders. He remains up only because Zoro is holding onto him so tightly.

"Go Zoro and Sanji!" Usopp calls from the side of the pool along with Luffy, Chopper, and Robin, "Reclaim our manly pride!"

"Go May and Zoro!" cheers Luffy.

"They're not on the same team, Luffy."

"Oi, curlybrow, pull yourself together and take this seriously," Zoro smacks his partner's arm to snap him out of staring at Nami's chest, "I'm here to win."

Nami smirks down at my green-haired friend before looking back up at Sanji with tears in her eyes.

"Ow, Sanji, you're gripping my hands too hard," she cries.

"I'm so sorry Nami-san! I didn't want to hurt you!"

"Idiot!" Zoro yells and tries to rebalance them while Sanji cries dramatically about how he's the scum of the world to hurt a lady, leaning backwards, "She's obviously pretending! And even if she wasn't, if you're not prepared to get hurt in battle, you're not giving it your all."

Nami leans forward to go in for the kill and I readjust my grip on her thighs, but Zoro, deciding it's time to take matters into his own hands (and not wanting to lose again), reaches forwards and pokes me in the side. I squeak and jump (or at least, do my best to jump away when I'm carrying someone else on my shoulders through water) and Nami grabs my head in a panic to steady herself.

"Grr, they've discovered our weak spot, we're disadvantaged now," Nami says, deciding it's time for a new tactic, "Well, if we go down, they going down with us. May, charge!"

"Yes, ma'am!"

Laughing, I barrel into a surprised Zoro's chest and Nami tackles Sanji into the water. We all collapse in a heap with a big _splash!_ and a lot of yelling, mostly directed at me and Nami.

Luffy is whooping and clapping his hands with excitement on the sidelines.

"Victory!"

"I don't think anyone is a winner here today," Robin comments.

"Sanji and you clearly hit the water first," I tell Zoro, picking myself off of him and helping Nami up.

"Yeah, but Nami left your shoulders first, and that's the goal of the game," he says stubbornly, "We're the winners here."

"Oi."

We look over at the other group of people that have come up to us in the water while we were bickering over who won; they're a fierce-looking bunch of characters. The man in the front has tattoos covering his arm and face and he stares sternly down at us.

"You guys look strong. We challenge you to a battle."

Sanji pulls a pack of cigarettes from his swim trunks—wait, what, why did he keep those there and why aren't they completely wet—and lights one up.

"Don't cry when you lose."

"Think you can take us?" Zoro asks, spitting into the water; I immediately smack him because ew, we're swimming in that water now.

"Shishishi, bring it on!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up here. You can't just step up and expect us to agree to some silly little challenge," Nami steps in, "There has to be stakes for the winning team. Preferably Beri."

"You seem awfully confident you'll win," the tattoo-guy says.

"Of course," Nami replies easily.

"Wait a minute here!" I bring everyone's attention to me, "We can't fight you."

"Aw, but May—" Luffy starts.

"We haven't introduced ourselves," I cut him off, "What kind of battle is it if we don't even know each other's names?"

The man nods.

"Good point. I am Wyper."

Luffy holds tightly onto his hat and jumps into the water, grinning.

"I am Luffy. Let's do this!"

* * *

 **4:00 pm**

It was a long and hard battle that finally ended in a draw. Zoro and I missed a good portion of it because we wandered off to get drinks and ended up getting lost, ran into three men (one of which had a large bird on his shoulder, one that looked like a large blueberry, and another older man with a giant puppy), but Luffy and Wyper were still fighting by the time we got back, so it all turned out okay.

"You're a good fighter," Luffy laughs and slaps our newly-made-friend-through-fighting's back as we sit and relax after the long battle.

"You're not bad yourself," he says.

"We're getting margaritas after this," Nami tells Laki, a beautiful dark-haired woman that me and Nami lost to in chicken, "You all should come with us!"

"That sounds nice."

"Yeah!"

Our friendly chatting is broken up by the appearance of Conis accompanied by a group of men that are wearing army pants and shirts that say 'Security' on them. They also have wings on their backs. Oh, and Officer Smoker is here, too.

"Heso!" Conis says, "Sorry to disturb you, but apparently some hooligans have broken into Skypiea. They've been stealing people's wallets and beating them up. Have you seen anyone suspicious?"

"Nope."

"Hi, Smoker!"

"Strawhat, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Mystery floating park!"

"…What."

"Wait, you said these guys were going around stealing and beating people?" I ask, grabbing my phone.

"Yes, do you have any information?" the head security guard asks sternly, saluting in a way that makes it look like he has antennae.

"Well, me and Zoro got lost and found some suspicious people kicking some other guests here," I open my phone and pull up the pictures I took of the three men, "See, here they are. That's them beating up those people, there they are looting them, ah, that's them beaten up because Zoro kicked their asses, oh and ignore that one, it's just a selfie I took next to them while they were unconscious—"

"These are good quality pictures!" the security guard exclaims, "It's so fortunate that you took them! Now we know exactly what they look like."

"Of course! I'm not going to be out-blackmailed by some old lady!"

Smoker is looking at me with apprehension. I smile and tuck away my phone.

"So, Officer, are you free to get some margaritas?"

* * *

 **7:00 pm**

He wasn't free to get margaritas. Fortunately though, our new friends came with us to Makino's after we got everything sorted out at Skypiea and said goodbye to Conis.

"I was starting to worry that you would never show up," Makino laughs lightly as she serves us all her special margaritas.

"As if! It's National Margarita Day, we couldn't miss it."

"May, it's your turn tonight," Ace slaps my shoulder as he takes a seat next to me.

"Shoot, I was looking forward to today."

"Tough luck."

I take a small sip of my drink since I'm going to have to make it last and watch the pleasant chaos of the bar. Luffy, already drunk, is crying over something Wyper has said and loudly proclaiming that friendship never dies, to the amusement of everyone around him. The stern, tattooed man looks like he doesn't quite know what to do with the emotional teen. Shanks is occupying his corner of the bar, like usual, laughing loudly and drinking heavily, again like usual.

"So, what have you been up to today?"

I turn back to Ace with a smile as he waits for Makino to make him a drink. A margarita, of course.

"Went on an adventure at a mysterious floating water park."

"Sounds like quite the story. Do tell."

"It is," I laugh; Makino sets a tall glass in front of him, "Cheers."

We clink glasses and Ace downs his drink, quickly calling for another.

It's okay, because it's my turn tonight.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Sorry, I completely missed yesterday's chapter. Got a question for you all: now that we've gotten more into the story, do you want to start seeing a bit more of May's past? I won't ever do chapter-long flashbacks, because those can drag on (at least, in my opinion) but would you like to see little snippets of her backstory?**

 **littlecatbug22- Haha, that would be entertaining for sure! I actually had something similar planned for a later chapter, so I'll keep it in mind!**

 **FSG Guest- *good ol' finger snappy guns* Keeping it simple. Anyway, for your question about their first meeting. Sorry, but you're going to have to wait a long, long time for me to write it. I have it planned out at this moment, but the way I have it mapped out, it's going to be written when this story is coming to an end in December. Hope you'll stick around until then to see it ;) But, yes, Hancock is cute.**

 **starrat- Thank you!**

 **Albertasteinthe21stgenius- Yup, we're going to see the conclusion to the Baroque Works Arc soon, so look forward to it! Paula's gonna get hell**

 **KHR-Yunalesca- Yup! I actually really like Hancock, she's such an interesting character. But, like I said, you'll have to wait to know about the first time Luffy and May met**

 **SHSL Student- OOOO AND ANOTHER LAWLY SHIPPER**

 **AmericaNidiot- BUT WE HAVE A COUNTER ATTACK FROM THE NEW POLYSHIP LACELY *sings WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS* (You're going to be in for a surprise, friend :3 also, Perona will definitely be making an appearance, but not for a while, Sabo is coming next month and the big bird in pink is coming the month after)**

 **littlecatbug22 (again)- AIN'T NO BRAKES ON THE SHIP TRAIN. CHOO CHOO MOTHERF*CKER**

 **girlgladiator- Hi! It's nice to see you here! I'll be working on that map when I have some time, you've sparked an interest in me! I think it'll also help myself to have a layout of where everything is in the city. Also. Ever other ship is now irrelevant now that NaMay is on the table. It was a good fight everyone, but the gays win**

 **Thanks for reading! Stick around for more!**

 **-jj**


	41. Chapter 38: In Which There Is A Spider

**February 23/Tuesday/3:15 am**

I'm starting on my first cup of tea for the day when the bell rings. Zoro tumbles in, yawing and stumbling slightly.

"Zoro, have you gotten any sleep since I last saw you?" I ask him as he falls onto a stool.

"No."

"You know, you probably wouldn't have to take so many naps during the day if you went to bed and woke up at a reasonable time," I say as I pour him a cup of chamomile tea; he drinks it without really noticing what it is.

"Says the person that wakes up at three in the morning."

"Yeah, but I don't sleep another twelve hours during the day in naps," I lean in closer to get a smell of him, "You stink like alcohol. Are you still drunk from last night?"

"I never get drunk."

"Sure you don't."

Sometimes, it's easier to agree with him than bicker. I haven't had enough tea to undertake that particular challenge at the moment.

Speaking of.

Zoro finishes his tea and his head is nearly dropping onto the counter, his eyes slowly closing.

"C'mon, it's bedtime," I tug his arm gently and pull him after me.

"But, I'm not sleepy," he mumbles sleepily, his head nodding onto his chest.

"Mmhm."

I get a sense of déjà vu from not even a few hours ago when I had to do this with Ace, who is currently occupying my bed. It was my turn to get him safely to a home last night (really, as long as it's one of our friend's homes, it doesn't matter whose we end up at on night's like that) but I forgot that I needed to go grocery shopping. So, with a drunk Ace in tow, I made a late night run to Buggy's (which was quite something, I will tell you what; all you need to know is that the final result is there is a large hole burned into one of the store's walls now, several store employees are missing eyebrows and a handful are missing leg hair, and Ace is banned from being within a certain radius of the Buggy Mall, at least for a while) and then, since it was closer, I simply brought him to my apartment.

I push Zoro onto the bed to join Ace. He's asleep before he hits the pillow and I suppress a giggle when the two men latch onto each other in their sleep.

And of course, I take some pictures.

* * *

 **7:00 am**

Kidd is the first person to walk in the door today, carrying the airpots that I gave him to shine-I mean, I gave him so that he could have coffee.

"Wow, you really did make them all shiny!" I marvel as he hands them over, "I can see my face in it!"

"Yeah, yeah, you're welcome," he says, "Do you have anything else you want to dump on me to polish?"

"Really, you'd do that for me?"

"Fuck no, I was kidding."

"Aw, that's a shame, 'cause I have some silverware-"

I get distracted by the bell ringing and Law walking in.

"Hello," I call, getting a cup ready for him, and Kidd too since he's here and was nice enough to shine my airpots.

"Morning," the surgeon mumbles and accepts his coffee.

"You look like shit," Kidd ever-so-nicely tells him.

"Piss off," Law ever-so-kindly returns.

I see an eight-legged creature making its way across the counter while the two men devolve into insult-throwing-childishness.

"Oh, hey there little guy," I lean down to look at it, "I'll have to put you outside because you can't be in here."

I pick up the spider and shake it off my hand out on the streets. When I come back in, Red and Law are having a silent glare-off. I push my way between them on my way to the counter to break up whatever is going on before Quintin gets broken.

"You're not scared of spiders?" Kidd asks, no longer interested in Law as the doctor takes his coffee and heads for the door, "I thought girls were scared off spiders and went 'kyaa' whenever they see them."

"Went like what?"

"Like…y'know, 'kyaa'."

I snort quietly at Kidd's impression of women.

"Yeah, no. I'm not scared of spiders. However, if we're talking about ladybugs…" I shiver at the thought; damn red-polka-dotted mini-spawns of Satan.

"…You're not scared of spiders but you're scared of ladybugs."

"No, I'm scared of red-polka-dotted mini-spawns of Satan."

"You're weird."

"Your face is weird," I huff defensively.

"Morning, you two," Ace yawns as he trudges down the stairs in all his half-naked tousled-bed-head glory. Zoro's not far behind him and-oh dear, have I ever mentioned that Zoro's not much of a morning person?

Well.

I hand him a cup of coffee as he silently takes a seat at the counter again and I don't make any attempt to start up a conversation. Instead, I turn to Ace and hand him a coffee as well.

"May, why do I smell like lighter fluid and have soot marks all over me."

"You generously decided to give Buggy's store some remodeling last night."

"Oh yeah! God, that was hilarious. And who knew that you could get such a clean shave by burning off body hair!"

"You should start a business," I tell him, "It's almost like waxing but you have a much higher chance of getting second degree burns."

"That's a great idea!"

"There is something wrong with you people. I'm leaving."

"Aw, c'mon, Red, don't pretend like you're not just as crazy as the rest of us," Ace says, "Zoro, back me up here."

Ace pats Zoro's shoulder but the next thing any of us know, the shirtless man has been thrown through Quintin and has broken the table in half.

"Code green, code green! Ace poked the sleeping tiger!" I scream, grabbing a phonebook and hurling it with all my might at my green-haired friend as he advances on Ace with a murderous expression; he goes down with a magnificent _crash!_ , out cold.

This is what I mean when I say Zoro is not a morning person. It takes him a while to wake up but he's half-asleep until that point.

And half-awake Zoro is not something you ever want to deal with.

Kidd is out the door, deciding firmly that he doesn't want to stick around any longer and Ace picks himself off the ground.

"Holy fuck, I forgot that Zoro gets like that in the morning. It's been a while since Oni Zoro has made an appearance."

"Yeah," I say absently and go to retrieve my phonebook, "Help me put him on the sofa, will you?"

We lift the unconscious man and dump him on the couch to lay there until he wakes up.

"What a start to the morning!" Ace says, stretching his arms and then grinning at me, "So, breakfast?"

* * *

 **11:30 am**

Zoro left after he had a little nap, yelling at me for knocking him out, but since he was late to the dojo, he couldn't stay and yell at me more.

Which is probably for the best because then we would have gotten into a shouting match and fighting with my friends isn't something I particularly enjoy. I'm still mad that he broke Quintin for the six hundred and twenty second time though.

Of course, I called up Iceburg to get him sorted out, but I had to wait a while for them to come pick up my table because they were busy at the moment.

Now here I sit on top of a newly-fixed Quintin, enjoying my tea and Sudoku since I have time. The happenings on Red Line are exciting as ever today.

There seem to be an otter and large vulture-like bird disguised as humans chasing Nami, Luffy, and Zoro through the streets, throwing explosions periodically at my friends. The five of them took a break from running around at nine because they were all tired and stepped into the café to enjoy some tea and relax while I was waiting for Iceburg and Paulie to show up. We found out that the otter with sunglasses is a very skilled artist and clapped appreciatively when he showed us incredibly well-done sketches of me, Luffy, Nami, and Zoro. Then, the bird and otter pulled out another explosion that destroyed Quintin even more than he already was and they were right back to chasing my friends while I called up Iceburg and told him the situation had become dire, sobbing uncontrollably all the time over the phone.

He and Paulie arrived soon after that and we went through the usual clamor at Galley-La to get my table fixed and he was back to normal soon enough.

I resumed my watching of Grand Line after treating them to coffee and some little sweets on the side. The otter and vulture-bird are gone now because I called up Ace to ask if they were missing animals and he and Marco came to collect them a while ago.

Now however, it seems like the people that were selling lemonade are back with a vengeance.

Oh, wait, no they're not, Luffy kicked their asses in seconds flat. I watch calmly as they get sent flying out of my vision with one of my papoose's punches.

That's my baby for ya.

* * *

 **3:45 pm**

A quick bit of lunch for my three friends and then they were off to go their separate ways, although Nami had to drag Zoro with her when he started going the wrong way back to the dojo, claiming he was taking a 'shortcut'.

It's been a slow day, so I've gone through a lot of Sudoku puzzles and have been entertaining myself with playing with Chou Chou's ears. They're the cutest lil' floppy ears ever.

I look up from Chou Chou as the bell rings and Paula comes in. She's wearing a Hawaiian-printed cami like usual, which is something I like about her. Anyone who wears Hawaiian print is alright in my book.

"Hi, Paula!" I call to her cheerfully, "What brings you here today?"

"To ruin your business and inform you of your imminent demise," she says seriously.

"Haha! You're such a great joker! I can never keep a straight face when I try to do that whole 'morbid in a funny way' thing. Robin's the best at it," I laugh, "Would you like some coffee? Or tea, do you like tea?"

Before she can answer, the door slams open (there are cracks in the wall now, on top of the door being broken from Luffy coming in before I woke up on Monday and had a chance to unlock it) as Sanji is kicked inside by a…flamboyant-looking character.

"Stooop joking aroooound!" the person who just kicked my friend through the doorway yells, "Who do you think I am?! As if you could take on a dancer in a fight of feet!"

He pulls some kind of ballet pose, wow this guy's really flexible, his foot is all the way over his head.

But. He just hurt Sanji.

' _He's going down.'_

A phonebook flies past Paula's head, ruffling her hair and plants itself firmly into the face of whoever the hell this person is that has swans figures on his back and is wearing ballet shoes.

"Sanji, who in the world is that?" I ask.

"Ah, May-chan, you didn't have to do that! I could've taken this weirdo on myself. I'm sorry for disturbing you, but this guy was really persistent and wouldn't leave me alone."

"It's okay, but why do I feel like this is happening a lot?"

"You're imagining things," he says coolly and lights up a cigarette; I remember that Paula is still here.

"Oh, sorry Paula, was there something you needed?"

"N-No, I'll be going now."

"Okay! Have a nice day. Sanji, no smoking in here, you know the rules."

* * *

 **6:00 pm**

"Another, another!" Luffy cheers, "Do Zoro's face next!"

"Are you ready? Une, deux, trois! A grumpy green-haired man in three seconds!"

"Incredible! Looks just like him!"

You might be wondering what's happening.

Well, after I knocked out the eccentric man that is now entertaining us by doing impersonations of my friends, Luffy came in and recognized him. I guess he is the person my dumpling told me about, the okama that could make himself look like anyone with just a bit of makeup. Bentham, also known as Bon Clay for whatever reason, woke up and recognized Luffy as well, proclaiming them to be friends, and apologizing to Sanji once he realized that he is Luffy's friend as well.

And the rest, as they say, is history.

Since then, he's been demonstrating his skill with makeup to transform himself into different people, much to mine, Chopper, Usopp, Nami, and Luffy's amusement. The rest of my friends don't seem to think much of it and are trying to ignore us as they eat the dinner Sanji and I prepared.

"Look! I can do a Zoro impression, too!" Luffy says, and pushes back the hair from his face and adopts a stern expression that is very Zoro-esque, "Huh? Who woke me up from my nap? I'll kill you."

"When the hell have I ever done that, you bastard?!"

"This morning."

" _May, shut up._ "

"I can do a Sanji impression, too! 'Ugh, stupid marimo, you're blocking my view of all the pretty ladies with your ugly face'."

"Luffy, I'm going to kill you!"

* * *

 **Author's Corner:...so, Hey-a! I'm so sorry I haven't been posting guys, this week's been one giant cocktail of not enough time or motivation to post chapters, so I'll be playing catch up, yet again =~= One of these days when I have time, I really need to sit down and just type out of whole bunch of chapters in advance for weeks like this. Anyway:**

 **KHR-Yunalesca- May has to protect her blackmail throne! No one blackmails her friends except her! And if you want to start looking up the holidays, be my guest, but like I said, May and the crew don't celebrate something everyday**

 **FSG Guest- Glad to hear it, even though I'm so late with all of these chapters ^u^ Oh trust me, Sanji was sneaking some looks, but since May was on the bottom, Nami's legs were covering her up mostly. Hehehe, just wait to see the boys' reactions when the first Amazon Lily magazine comes out ;)**

 **AmericaNidiot- ...Sorry to disappoint, but May's actually asexual :) I agree with you on the Perona thing tho, an annoying pink bird that follows around a grumpy hawk is basically what they are. And omg, that fourth-wall breaking would be hilarious u**

 **ADDBaby- *smacks hands seriously on table, 'cause this is serious* That's because granny initiated the battle first, without introducing herself. Obviously, when the other party does this, there's no time for pleasantries and you must retaliate, even if you don't know each other's names.**

 **C- Sorry I haven't _updated_ in a while, but I'm back *jazz hands and kicks up leg* You're talking my language now. Unfortunately, I don't ship Robin and Nami together, purely on the basis of age. I can be pretty forgiving when it comes to age gaps, but ten years is just a little past my limit (especially if one of them is barely out of their teens). May would be a bit more reasonable, but eight years is pushing it for me :S Don't get me wrong, they would all be cute as hell together, and I would totally jump on board, guns a-blazing and screaming 'take me to ship heaven' if only they were closer in age**

 **Alright, more chapters will be coming soon, so stick around!**

 **-jj**


	42. Chapter 39: In Which A Hawaiian Shirt Is

**February 24/Wednesday/7:00 am**

Luffy comes tumbling in bright and early this morning, followed by Shanks and Ace.

"Gooooood morning!" Luffy yells, jumping over the counter and crashing into me with a tight hug.

"Wah!" I stumble as I get knocked back, but regain my footing and manage not to fall down, "Morning!"

"Do you need help carrying anything over, May?" Shanks asks, coming up to the counter with a wide smile, Ace right beside him.

"Yeah, that'd be great," I say, pulling out an enormous picnic basket and placing it on the table with a puff of effort; Luffy is still hanging off of me, "Is she awake yet?"

"How would I know?"

I give the red head a _look._

"Oh, did she tell you? Well, guess the cat's out of the bag now," he grins easily, "Yeah, she's up."

"Huh? What are you guys talking about?" asks Ace.

"Don't worry about it," Shanks smacks his shoulder with a small laugh, "Is everything ready to go?"

"Yup! Got the coffee, the tea, breakfast, all that's left is to head over!" I list off the items on my fingers.

"What are we waiting for then? Let's goooo!" says Luffy.

"I'll get the airpots," Ace offers, picking up the containers (the bright and _shiny_ containers, thanks to Red) and Shanks hefts the picnic basket with ease; _hmph_ , showoff.

The four of us head out, off to visit Makino this morning.

After all, it is World Bartender Day, so of course we have to show our appreciation to the best bartender in the world!

We barge into Party's to find a startled Makino just putting down the chairs and overwhelm her with hugs.

"Happy Birthday, Makino!" Luffy says cheerily.

"No, no, Luffy, it's World Bartender Day," Ace corrects him.

"Oh right. Happy Bartender Birthday!"

"Geez! You didn't have to do all this!" Makino says, blushing; we just laugh and hug her more tightly.

"Nonsense! Makino deserves all the appreciation in the whole wide world," I tell her brightly.

"Thank you," she says, "Well, what have you brought?"

"Food!"

"Coffee and your favorite tea," I explain, motioning for Ace and Shanks to set down their loads on a table.

"You sure do know how to spoil a woman," she giggles.

"Only the best for Makino!"

* * *

 **9:50 am**

"…And when I was little and our families went camping together, we used to sneak out and go on adventures on our own," Vivi tells me and Nami as we sip our tea and coffee, "There was one time where we fell into a bunch of cactus and when we got back, our parents nearly had heart attacks, seeing us covered in spines and prickly pears."

We laugh (partly out of sympathy, partly out of amusement) and continue to share stories from our childhoods.

"I use to steal books from our neighbor, Genzo," Nami recounts for us, "I would usually get away with it, but sometimes he would catch me and then Nojiko would come kick him in the shins and help me run away."

"Poor Genzo," I laugh, "It's a good thing he's such an easy-going man, or I'm pretty sure he would have moved far, far away from you guys a long time ago."

"He would be mad, but he'd always forgive me, 'cause he's a big softie," shrugs Nami, "What about you, May? What trouble did you get into?"

"Hmmm, well, when I was ten, I got suspended from school for going around and kissing girls," I tap my finger on my chin before shaking my head, "I still don't know what the school's problem with it was."

Nami chokes on her coffee. I pat her back to help her.

"You never told me that," she wheezes, "I knew you got kicked out, but wow."

I stare at her curiously.

"Do you know why they made such a big deal out of it? I never figured it out."

"Don't worry about it."

"Wait, no really, tell me."

I get distracted from trying to poke Nami's face while she pushes me back as the door opens and a man I recognize comes in.

"Hello, sir!" I call to him, straightening up to move behind the counter, "How can I help you?"

"Ojou-sama!" he ignores me and walks briskly to Vivi's side, "So this is where you've been. Your father and Igaram-san were worried about you."

"I told them where I was going," Vivi mumbles; I look between the two of them.

"Vivi? You know Mr. Pell?"

"Huh? Yeah, he works with my father. _You_ know him?"

"Yeah, he was here on Chocolate Mint Day! I didn't realize the 'ojou-sama' he was talking about was you!"

"Ah, I did not know that you were a friend of Vivi's," Pell nods his head formally, "Please excuse my rudeness for not properly introducing myself when we met before."

"It's fine," I smile at him, "No need to stand on formality."

"I insist! Anyway, ojou-sama, please come with me, your father needs your help, and Igaram-san is worried sick."

"Alright, I'm coming, I'm coming," she sighs, "It was nice seeing you two, but it looks like I have to go. I'll see you around though?"

"Definitely," Nami says.

We watch the blue-haired teen follows Pell out to the shiny limo waiting for her.

"Do you think Vivi's single?" Nami asks me.

"You are such a gold digger, Nami."

"Guilty as charged. Anyway," she shifts back to me, "Has that nasty witch gone out of business yet?"

"What? Are you talking about Paula? No, she hasn't and you really shouldn't call her that, she's a nice lady and she hasn't done you any harm."

"Ohoho, May, if only you knew. So, she's not out of business yet?"

"No," I huff stubbornly.

"Shoot, despite all my efforts to run her into the ground-" Nami cuts off mid-sentence and takes a sip of her coffee.

" _Did you just say what I think you said."  
_ "Absolutely not." _  
_"Nami-" _  
_"Don't worry about it, May. That woman doesn't deserve your concern."

"Have you been trying to make her go out of business?!"

"I'm telling you not to worry about it."

"Are you kidding me?!"

"Whoa, whoa, calm down ladies!" Ace walks in to see me trying to pull Nami's cheek while she tries to keep me off her; he picks my up by the waist and lifts me away from my friend.

"Ace, tell Nami to stop being mean to Paula," I tell him.

"Nami, May wants me to tell you to stop being mean to Paula."

"Shut up, Ace! May doesn't know what's good for her!" Nami says angrily, "If she'd just shut up and let me protect her, and stop trying to convince herself and everyone else that the witch is nice, it would be so much easier for everyone. Please tell her that she's being stupid."

"Oh yeah?! Well, tell Nami she's being stubborn!"

"So are you, May!"

"May, you're being stupid," Ace informs me and I shoot him a glare; he holds up a hand in defense (seeing as the other is holding me against him to keep me from pinching Nami) "Her words, not mine. But, I'm sure Nami has her reasons for doing…whatever it is she's doing."

"Yeah, listen to Ace," Nami says dismissively and starts gathering up her things, "Anyway, I have to go. I don't have time to get into a fight with you because you're too stubborn."

"Good! I don't want to talk to you right now!" I yell after her as she walks out.

The door slams shut and I cross my arms with a huff.

"You can let go of me now," I tell Ace.

"Oh right."

We stand silently for a few moments, neither of us knowing what to say. Finally, I sigh and start heading upstairs.

"Where're you going?"

"I need a Hawaiian shirt."

I stomp into my room and pull out the box that sits underneath my bed. Inside are two photographs, a pair of ugly, cheap earrings, a few other odds and ends, and a hideous Hawaiian shirt. The last item I pull out and slip over my head.

* * *

 **12:15 pm**

"May! Food!"

Luffy charges in, Ace trailing behind him, but he stops short of the counter, looking at me curiously.

"What's wrong, May? What happened?" he asks.

"What do you mean?" I grin at him.

"You're wearing the Hawaiian shirt."

"Does that mean something has to be wrong?"

"Yes. Obviously."

"She got into a fight with Nami," Ace explains bluntly, already rummaging around in the display case to pull out some muffins and shove them into his mouth.

"Oh."

"I'm not thinking about that," I say serenely, "It doesn't bother me."

"You are such a bad liar, May," Luffy tells me.

"The pot calling the kettle black. Really, I'm over it. So, what would you like to eat, guys?"

"Meat! But, have you two made up yet?"

"Not thinking about it," I smile aggressively, determined not to let my happy demeanor be ruined.

"Okay," he nods, accepting it for now, "But be sure you guys make up soon. It's not good if you two are angry at each other for a long time."

"Okay," I smile for real this time and pull him with me into the kitchen so I can make us lunch.

"Ace, are you coming with me again this month to visit Moda?" I ask him as we eat, "I don't think you've gone to see her since last time, right?"

"Yup," he says through a mouthful of food, "Is Nami lending her car again? Uh, I mean, we could probably take mine."

He quickly changes his question when he sees my smile twitch, and I nod.

"Thanks. It's a date then."

We grin and both stop Luffy from stealing from both of our plates.

* * *

 **4:10 pm**

Ah, a peaceful day gone by, and my café hasn't been destroyed at all. Even if it was, I'm in too good a mood to be bothered by it.

I pick a stray thread off the faded-from-many-washings Hawaiian shirt and brush off my shoulder.

Wipe some dust off the counter.

Take a sip of my tea.

The door (what's left of it) (I need to get Franky to fix it soon) bursts in with a shower of splintered wood, accompanied by one Roronoa Zoro.

I calmly watch as a tall, muscular man with a buzz cut (and a unibrow) steps through the door (the bottom part is still leaning in the frame, so he has to step over it) and Zoro stands up, dusting some splintered woodchips off his shoulder.

"Tch, what a weak hit. Is that all you've got?" he asks the other man.

"I'm just getting warmed up."

Oh, look at that, they're dueling with swords. Real ones, too. How nice.

I watch the fight that destroys my café, lifting up my Sudoku book out of harm's way when one of Zoro's three swords (yes, you read that right, three; he has a very unique fighting style) cuts through the counter. Finally, he sends the man (with the unibrow) flying with a strong slash of his swords and his opponent crashes into Ukkari Hot Springs across the street.

I wave cheerily to Mr. Goro who comes out to see what in the hell crashed into his onsen.

"Good job, Zoro!" I cheer for him, coming back from upstairs with the first aid kit to patch up some of the cuts he got; it should be good enough until Chopper can get a look at him.

"Why aren't you mad at me for ruining Quintin?" he asks suspiciously.

It's true, Quintin is among the carnage, sliced cleanly into thirds, broken for the 623rd time, but I'm not worried about it.

"It's fine," I smile brightly at him, dabbing at his forehead to stop the bleeding there, "Paulie and Iceburg will patch him up. And I've been meaning to have Frankie come back in soon."

"Oh. Hawaiian shirt," he notices for the first time, "Got it. Well, sorry anyway."

"S'all good. Want some tea?"

"Sure."

"Wah-Wait! Don't fall asleep right after you say that!"

* * *

 **6:00 pm**

I gave Iceburg a call, naturally, and they were able to fix Quintin at Galley-La, naturally, and then a whole bunch of workers came back to the café so I can treat them to dinner. Franky tagged along as well when I told him sunnily that Zoro wrought total destruction upon the café in a fight and he's currently working on restoring it until it inevitably gets demolished again sometime in the near future, most likely by one of my friends.

He complimented me on my shirt, which I beamed at and mirrored his 'Superrrr' pose to.

Now, I listen to the chatter of the Galley-La workers, all arguing, laughing, and bickering with each other as I whip up dinner for all of them. Ace and Luffy haven't come bck yet, but I'll make extra in case they do.

I take a moment to wonder why so many of my friends have been chased into my café by odd characters these past couple of days.

Shrugging and deciding not to worry about because it's Grand Line and stuff happens, I finish making dinner and bring it out with a smile to the cheers and yelled thanks of my friends.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! So, I will be catching up over this week, 'cause holy cow, I've missed an entire week (pretty much). But, I _will_ be posting all of last week's chapters so don't worry. I really am sorry that I missed so much, but hey, life happens.**

 **C- Oh trust me, I ship May with everyone (within reasonable age) too :D**

 **starrat- Thanks as always!**

 **Albertasteinthe21stgenius- Hehehe, next chapter you will get your wish. Oh wait, no make that two chapters. Either way, Paula's getting what's coming to her soon**

 **girlgladiator- Wrote that chapter with you in mind ;)**

 **Awesome Guest- Thanks! That's really good to hear that I'm not writing May as a passive character, but someone who's actively participating :D**

 **SupremeGeneralJoker- I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN A WHILE DARNIT SORRY**

 **C- Happy Birthday! I drew you a Robin and tagged you, but idk if you saw. I hope you like it!**

 **Okay, stick around for more, I'll be posting soon-ish! Thanks for being patient with me!**

 **-jj**


	43. Chapter 40: In Which Things Are Spiky

**February 25/Thursday/7:00 am**

I decided when I woke up today that I still needed to wear the Hawaiian shirt. It's because I'm mad at Nami, so I pulled it on without a second thought this morning. And of course, a cardigan on after that. I don't feel quite like myself without a cardigan.

Law raises an eyebrow at my fashion choice as I make him his coffee, humming slightly to a random tune in my head.

"That's got to be the ugliest shirt I've ever seen, May-ya."

"Isn't it though?" I reply cheerfully; I would point out that he has no right to criticize my fashion choices when he wears, well, what he wears, but I don't because his comment doesn't bug me because I'm wearing my Hawaiian shirt, "It's so ugly that you have to love it. Like, it's the ugly that's 'so-ugly-that-it's-charming' kind of ugly."

"No, not really."

"Endearingly ugly?"

"Not even a little. Why the sudden change?" he asks as I hand him the coffee.

"Because I'm mad," I explain blithely, "But, I always like to work with a smile, and you can't be mad when you're wearing a Hawaiian shirt. It's my policy. As long as I'm wearing this, nothing can get to me."

Luffy comes bursting through the door, his older brother behind him, yelling and cursing while his younger brother laughs. However, Ace catches him and throws him right through Quintin while Law and I watch on.

I smile even wider.

"Nope. Nothing at all."

* * *

 **10:00 am**

"Nami said that she's probably going to be targeted today."

"Yeah, she asked me to keep an eye out as well."

"What are you guys talking about?" I ask as I come out with some freshly baked scones to find Luffy and Ace whispering in conspiring tones over the newly-fixed Quintin (having been repaired for the 624th time).

"What? Uh, nothing. Nothing at all May!"

"We were talking about-" Luffy gets cut off when Ace frantically squishes his mouth closed with one hand.

"Nothing!" he says with a sunny smile with Luffy tries to fight off his hand and breathe again.

Wow, my friends are such horrible liars. But, I let it go. After all, I'm wearing my Hawaiian shirt! Nothing can bother me at all when I'm wearing a Hawaiian shirt.

"Would you two like to do anything this weekend?" I ask, putting the scones into the display case shelf while Luffy and Ace try to steal some away stealthily (meaning, not stealthily at all).

"I dunno, but we're overdue for an adventure!" Luffy says.

"I agree, let's definitely go on one Saturday or Sunday."

"Woo! Adventure!"

* * *

 **12:20 pm**

When Luffy and Ace come in for lunch after leaving shortly, the younger brother is wearing a Hawaiian shirt to match mine.

"I wanted to join in, too!" he says, "Franky lent it to me, isn't it cool?"

"Very nice! The blue and orange really clash together horribly. It's a good Hawaiian shirt," I compliment; the shirt is way too big for Luffy and it hangs off of him, but it doesn't matter because it's the thought that counts.

"I would've worn one, but it's my policy to never wear shirts on a Thursday," Ace tells me.

"What about all the other days?" I ask him with a small laugh.

"I get the days confused easily."

"Right.

"Besides, Hawaiian shirts aren't just clothes, they're a state of mind. As long as I mentally wear one, I'll be good. A really hideous one with lots of pineapples and bright colors that shouldn't be put together. And you can't forget the conflicting tropical flower pattern."

"Makes sense. Sounds like that one's a nice and ugly Hawaiian shirt as well," I say, "What do we want for lunch?"

* * *

 **4:15 pm**

I need to go shopping since Luffy and Ace were particularly hungry today and cleaned out most of the food in all of my fridges. Except the can of spiced peaches.

Why is it always the peaches?

Ace has offered to come with me and help carry the bags back.

I wave enthusiastically to Paula through the window as we pass by the Spider's Café on our way to the Buggy Mall.

"So May, if someone wanted to hypothetically take over the city, what would they do?" Ace asks casually as we stroll.

"Hypothetically?" I grin at him.

"Yes, not that I'm thinking about doing it or anything. Just a question that popped into my head. I was thinking giant mechas with my- I mean, whoever's face is taking over the city. Gotta let people know who's conquering them when you take over, y'know?"

"Of course. I think I would go for more subtle though."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, like, slowly gain everyone's trust and then ascend to power and complete domination with a show of explosions and fireworks when they least expect it."

"Subtle."

"Right?"

Ace helps me collect all of the things from around the store I need to buy and we pull up to the check out, where Buggy is angrily talking on the phone and starts scanning the groceries violently. His large red nose bounces and quivers with rage as he aggressively passes each thing over the scanner.

Oh, I hope he's careful with the eggs.

"And I'll tell you another thing!" he yells into the receiver, "If you think you can challenge the Great Buggy the Clown, you're in for a world of hurt! I'm done talking to idiots like you, so stop calling me!"

He hangs up the phone with a loud clatter and looks up at me.

"Damn Red Hair, I swear he's the bane of my existence," he growls, finishing putting all of my things into bags and giving me the total.

However, his gaze locks onto Ace and he freezes. Neither of them say anything for a moment, but the Ace raises a hand with what people usually consider an irritatingly disarming smile.

"Yo. Nice eyebrows. Or I guess I should say lack of eyebrows."

"Get the hell out of my store, you damn trouble-making flashy delinquent! I don't have eyebrows thanks to you!"

"Oops, I forgot that you're kinda banned from here. Run!" I laugh, picking up twenty of the grocery bags and dashing for the exit while Buggy starts throwing anything he can get his hands on at us, Ace right on my tail and carrying the rest of the bags.

* * *

 **5:00 pm**

"And so, all I'm saying is, we just need a couple hundred Kung-Fu Dugongs and we could easily take over the city. And then we split it fifty-fifty."

I step into the café but pause when my feet stick to the floor, making Ace, who's behind me, stop as well.

"Eww, gross," I look at the bottom of my shoes and see that they're covered in something sticky. Maybe there was something I didn't see on the doorstep because it's starting to get dark and the lights aren't on and I walked through it, "Ace be careful where you step, there's something on the floor."

I set down the grocery bags and take off my shoes, so as not it track whatever it is into the rest of the café and then step forward.

Something pricks the bottom of my foot.

A searing pain, white hot, shoots up through my leg and I gasp as I stumble forward. More things prick my arms and stomach, more searing pain, ow, **ow,** _ **ow**_ _-_

I think Ace is calling my name, but I'm in way too much pain to notice. My foot is on fire and so are my hands, my arms, my stomach, _fuck it hurts so much-_

The last thing I remember before my vision goes completely black is an orange hat floating above me and thinking ' _I hope Nami's not mad that I'm going to die before we got to make up.'_

* * *

 **?:? ?**

"… _It's been six hours…should be gone now…"_

"… _She'll be sore for a while, it's probably best..doesn't move for a bit…take it easy…"_

"… _It was that witch, I_ know _it was."_

"… _I'm sorry Nami, even though I was with her I couldn't do anything…"_

"… _So, who's dealing with her? If you're sure it's her, we can't let this slide…"_

"… _Can't I just burn the entire fucking building to the ground?"_

"... _No, she's mine. That woman has hell to pay for hurting our May and I intend on collecting."_

" _Okay, you've got it this time, Nami."_

" _Aw, I call dibs for next time!"_

I drift in and out of consciousness, hear snippets of conversations happening around me but I quickly forget what they're saying, until I wake up with a jolt and sit up in the hospital bed I'm in.

"HOLY CREAM CHEESE-COVERED CHRIST SMOTHERED ON A CRACKER, _OUCH!"_

My friends gathered around my bed scream in surprise at my outburst and I look around quickly; there's at least twenty people jam-packed into the small hospital room and I can see more peeking in from the hallway.

"May!"

"Holy shi-"

I get swarmed and buried under the people nearest to my bed as they attack me with hugs, and everyone's speaking at once and it's overwhelming and dear god how did so many people fit into this room- Luffy jumps straight onto my lap with a cry of delight and I let out a pained noise.

" _Ow!_ Why does my stomach hurt? And my arms? And my foot? And my everything?" I groan but return his hug.

"May! You're awake!" Luffy exclaims.

"How are you feeling?" Chopper asks in concern, hands fluttering worriedly over me as if he doesn't know what to do.

And also probably because my friends seem to be doing their best to squeeze the life out of me currently.

"Good. So good. A bit sore, but other than that we're super," I say in muffled voice, giving him a thumbs up from under the human pile on top of me; both Nami and Ace are covering my head with their arms wrapped around my face, so a person looking from the outside can't really see anything but my arm sticking up from a pile of bodies, "What the hell happened?"

"You got stung by a sea urchin. Several of them actually."

"…Sea urchins."

"Yes. Someone played a really nasty prank and put a whole bunch of them on the floor of your café. Ace says that you stepped on one and then fell over onto more," the teen explains, "You were lucky that you didn't get stung on your neck, face, or chest, but one caught you in the side. Are you sure you're okay? You shouldn't be feeling any effects of the venom anymore but you need to tell me if you still feel any burning."

"I'm dandy, thanks. Peachy keen, even. Hurts like a bitch, but there's no burning."

I'm not feeling entirely fine, but right now, all I know is that I have several people worried over me and I need to let them know that I'm alright.

"May, I'm so sorry for getting mad at you!" Nami cries, "I was just so upset, and then you go and get hurt, and-and-!"

"It's okay, Nami, I'm all good," I hug her in return and rub her back soothingly so she calms down.

"You better be!"

"You sure gave me a scare, May," Ace smiles down at me in relief, "When I saw you going down, I thought that you were dying on me."

"You certainly were panicking when you broke through the doors, yelling for help," Law says.

"The automatic doors weren't moving fast enough!" Ace protests, "And hey, you looked scared for a moment too when you saw who it was."

Ace gets cut off by Law yanking on his hat and choking him with the strings.

I smile around at everyone crowded around my bed.

"Thank you for being here everyone. I'm okay now!"

"We're so glad!"

"Dahaha, look at that, you're first near-death experience and you made it out in one piece!" Shanks laughs, coming upside the bed and patting my shoulder- _ow,_ that was right where one of the sea urchins got me.

"What are you talking about, being around you guys gives me plenty of near-death experiences," I tell him happily, trying to balance both Luffy, Ace, and Nami who are still trying to suffocate me with love.

"Still, this is worth celebration! I brought some booze with me just for the occasion."

Because of course Shanks has some form of alcohol on him.

"Shanks-san, you really shouldn't have that here-" Chopper begins.

"Nonsense! It's for medical purposes! Painkiller and all that, y'know, May could use it right now," the red head brushes him off and pops the bottle open.

And right here, at the foot of my hospital bed in this tiny, cramped room that smells like antiseptic and old people, a small but lively party breaks out, fueled with laughter and drinks which Shanks mysteriously keeps pulling out of seemingly nowhere every time a bottle is drained.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Alright, we're catching up slowly but surely. And hey! Since we're into the next month now, that means a new AU chapter will be coming up. If you guys want to see a particular AU (like highschool or monster AU, what have you) be sure to let me know! Also, since the updating system is kinda weird on this site, make sure to go back and read chapters because it doesn't always show when I update and you might miss some!**

 **AmericaNidiot- Ah, I see, I see! Yeah, that makes sense and thank you for respecting May's sexuality! You know what I love? Fics with single dad Mihawk and Perona and Zoro as his kiddies :3c Those ones are wonderful. Also, thank you for pointing that out! I went back and fixed them (at least I hope I did) but I'm now keeping a list so I don't lose track =~= I meant to do that from the beginning, but it slipped my mind. Thanks!**

 **AwkwardPanda89- Not gonna lie, the great majority of this story is stream of conscience. I do a bit of editing and spell checking/grammar/etc, but that's about it**

 **KHR-Yunalesca- It's alright, they can't stay mad at each other for long! And, Hawaiian Shirt May shouldn't scare you, that's when she's in her best mood! Ace was just worried about bringing up Nami that he wanted to change topics**

 **Awesome Guest- I hope this chapter cleared some things up! I'll be delving into it more in later chapters, but did I clear up the reason for the Hawaiian shirt?**

 **Albertasteinthe21stgenius- Yup. You really would think he got more sleep, but I guess that's why he takes so many naps during the day. And don't worry, Nami and May will really have their make-up soon**

 **ADDBaby- Yeah, I wrote both of those chapters before I posted them because I wanted to split the review answers between them, so that's why**

 **Alright, more to come, so stick around!**

 **-jj**


	44. Chapter 41: In Which I Try To Escape

**February 26/Friday/3:00 am**

I wake up at my usual time out of habit, despite there being no alarms. Everyone left only a little while ago, but since it was so late and because Chopper insisted that I stay here and recuperate, I didn't get to go with them.

I swing my bandaged foot followed by the other one over the side of the bed and gingerly set them on the floor, taking a moment to adjust myself. It stings a bit, but I can live.

Apparently, Law had to perform minor surgery because a lot of the sea urchin spines were imbedded deep into my skin and broke off in there. It didn't help that I, y'know, fell on top of them and drove the venomous spines further in.

I tiptoe over to the door and quietly look into the hallway. Only half the lights are on since it's technically night and people are still sleeping. Nodding to myself, I walk back to rummage around in the drawers and closet until I find my clothes. This light blue hospital gown with a pale pink floral design is pretty n' all, but I need my cardigan.

I pull on my grey sweater over the gown (which is thankfully closed in the back) and tie my hair up with a band I found in my pants pocket. Satisfied, I go back to the door.

If I'm smart about this, I might just be able to get out of here.

I ever-so-quietly nudge the door open again and slip into the intimidatingly sterile white-tiled hall. I keep to the walls, creeping silently past doors leading to other rooms with the 'Mission Impossible' theme playing in my head, and reach the end of the hall where the elevator is.

 _'_ _So far so good!'_

Someone grabs my shoulder; I scream bloody murder and spin around to face a horrific monster whose eyes are shadowed and has the creepiest smile that I'm sure is the last thing I'm ever going to see in this life, _goodbye cruel world-_

"Going somewhere, May-ya?"

Oh wait, it's just Law.

"H-Hi there," I stutter, clutching at my heart to get it to stop racing; he scared the living daylights out of me! "Uh, yeah, I was just leaving…You know…to get back to the café."

"You've been told that you're on bedrest for at least one day," he says, crossing his arms.

"Well, yes, but, you see, I can't do that," I explain with a nervous smile, hoping he'll let me go.

"And why's that?"

"Because it's not Monday. If it were Monday, I'd be more than happy to stay in bed since it's my lazy day, but it's not, so I can't."

Law puts his hand firmly on my shoulder; my knees buckle a little from the force.

"May-ya."

"Yes Law."

"You understand why I can't let you go, yes?"

I deflate with a sigh.

"Yes."

"Good."

"But, that's not going to stop me from trying," I finish quickly, shake off his hand, and make a mad dash for the stairs.

To my credit, I actually manage to get to the first step before he overtakes me and I'm tossed over his shoulder and brought back to my room.

Well, it was worth a shot.

* * *

 **7:00 am**

"But you don't understand, I _need_ to get back!"

"May, please don't make me knock you out! You need to rest and recover!"

Chopper is wrestling me back onto the bed after another of my escape attempts. So far I've made three since Law first caught me. He's having a difficult time because he doesn't want to upset my injuries, and that's where I have the upper hand because I care far less about them than he does.

Where I'm disadvantaged is literally everything else in terms of strength and size. Chopper may only be seventeen, but he's taller than me by a head and then some.

"What if someone comes to the café today and they need coffee or else they're going to _die_ , but they can't get it because I'm not there, huh?! Are you okay with being a murderer, Chopper?! Are you?!"

"Please calm down, I don't want to hurt you!"

"Murderer!"

"Do I hear that one of my patients is trying to leave?"

The both of us freeze (Chopper holding my arms down to the bed while my uninjured foot is in his face) at the voice coming from the silhouetted figure in the doorway.

Oh, shi-

"Hello, Kureha-sensei, you're looking particularly youthful today," I rush to say, sitting back in bed and arranging the sheets nicely around me, "No one's trying to escape at all, nope, not one bit, I'm good to stay here even though I'm already completely healed and could leave at any moment and you are all being ridiculous-"

I cut off with a squeak as I duck to avoid the knife now sticking out of my pillow.

"You'll leave when you're completely healed or when you die, whichever comes first," Kureha says, grinning maniacally like the witch she is, "And you're completely healed when I or one of the other doctors says you are completely healed."

"Yes, ma'am," I sigh miserably.

She nods in satisfaction and walks away to attend to other doctor-y business. Or murder someone. One is just as likely as the other.

I wait a grand total of five minutes after she leaves and Chopper has his back turned to attempt another heroic escape.

* * *

 **10:30 am**

This is the farthest I've gotten. I safely evaded everyone and made it down to the lobby by some miracle. I peek around the corner behind a potted plant I'm hiding behind (the floral pattern of my gown helps me blend in, okay, it's a good hiding spot, okay?) to get a view of the obstacles that lie between me and freedom: the receptionist, a few people waiting in chairs, and a vending machine that's for some god damn reason sitting in the middle of the lobby.

I'm so close, it's in my reach.

But, I can't go about this all willy-nilly. I need a plan, a plan of action that's smooth and elegant and sneaky that'll get me to those automatic double doors without a hitch. If I stoop down, the receptionist will never know when I pass her desk, and hopefully the waiting people are too bored to notice a woman in a hospital gown crawling for the exit…

The doors at the end of the hall bursts open and Penguin and Shachi come through, running in the direction of my very clever and totally-not-obvious hiding spot behind the plant.

"Hurry up! She can't have gotten far yet!"

"If she gets away, we're dead, you hear me?! Dead!"

Willy-nilly it is.

Screw elegance and stealth, I need to go _now._

Taking a deep breath, I dart out from behind the plant and sprint for the door, abandoning all caution and just focusing on getting the hell out of here.

"Ah! There she is! Stop!"

"Like hell I will!" I yell over my shoulder; damn my stupid foot! It's making me run with a limp and the two men are quickly gaining on me.

I'm so close to the exit, just a couple more steps, nearly there-

I crash right into the person who's walking in through the doors and we go tumbling over each other. A moment later, Penguin and Shachi trip and land gracelessly on top of us, unable to stop themselves in time.

" _Ow!_ "

I try to scramble my way out of the pile and continue to the exit, but they tackle me to the ground and the person I originally crashed into wraps their arms around my waist to keep me anchored. I notice a bare torso and a tattooed arm and realize it's Ace.

"No, May-san, you're not allowed to leave!" Shachi says, clinging onto me desperately, even though there's no way I can go anywhere now.

"God damnit!" I cry in frustration; I was so close too!

"May, why are you trying to leave the hospital?" Ace asks from beneath me, "Aren't you supposed to be resting?"

"I don't want to!" I whine, and I know it sounds incredibly childish, but I don't care, "I'm restless, I can't stay in bed all day! Not on a Friday."

Ace easily stands up, making Penguin and Shachi tumble to the floor with noises of surprise, but carries me and starts walking back into the hospital.

"Too bad, 'cause you're gonna, even if I have to make you."

"Not you too."

"Yes, me too," he grins and I cross my arms with a huff.

"You're the worst."

"You know it!"

"I'd much rather if Luffy came to visit. _He'd_ be on my side. Where is he anyway?"

"Kicking some guy's ass that threatened Vivi. Alligator-san or something."

"Oh. I guess that's alright then."

We fall into silence as he carries me back to my dreaded prison- I mean room.

"Did you at least bring me some pistachios?" I ask, settling back onto the pillows.

He pulls out a bag of the shelled nuts with a triumphant grin and places it in my lap.

"As if I'd forget National Pistachio Day."

* * *

 **12:25 pm**

A few more people have dropped by to see how I'm doing, to which I told them I am completely fine it's just that everyone is being a giant butt and won't let me leave. Most of them laughed, but I was perfectly serious. I also managed to get petty revenge on both Law and Chopper when they came in to check on me (make sure I hadn't escaped) by throwing empty pistachio shells at their faces.

Now, Nami is visiting on her lunch break, and I'm trying to convince her to help me break out.

"No," she says bluntly, for the fifth time.

"Why nooooot?"

"Because I'm scared of Kureha. No way am I risking her wrath for you," she explains unsympathetically, "You stay put until you're healed and stop making a fuss about it."

I pout.

"You guys are all such kill-joys."

"For sure. Anyway, I have something that's actually important to tell you. You'll be glad to hear that I know who put sea urchins all over your floor."

"Really? Who was it?" I ask, "Why would they do something like that?"

"It was Paula."

I blink at Nami.

"Paula? No way, it couldn't have been her, she's too nice!"

Nami pinches her nose.

"May, I'm not going to get into this dispute again. I have photographic evidence that Paula did it. But, you don't have to worry about her, I already have a plan for getting revenge. Ohhh, she's so getting arrested. I dug up a whole bunch of dirt on her that can get her locked away for years."

"Wait, Nami," I protest, "Please don't do it. I know she has a prickly personality, but she's a good person!"

"Why do you keep insisting she's good, May?!" Nami finally snaps, "She poisoned you, do you understand that? _Poisoned you._ What makes you think she's still a good person?"

"Because she wears a Hawaiian shirt!" I yell right back at her.

She pauses.

"….Are you fucking kidding me."

"Not in the least. A person who wears a Hawaiian shirt can never be bad," I declare firmly, "Paula's good, I know she is."

Nami doesn't respond for a few moments, burying her face in her hands and grumbling darkly to herself. I'm pretty sure I hear her say something along the lines of 'stupid people who are too trusting for their own good, god fucking _damnit_ '. Finally, she looks back up at me.

"So, you're saying that you don't want revenge."

"Hell no, when did I ever say I don't want revenge? By all means, please get her arrested, she _poisoned_ me, Nami. Only, maybe make it so that she gets arrested a little bit and not for so many years like you planned. And also, I'd like to talk to her before you do it."

She sighs and covers her eyes again.

"Why can't I ever say no to you? Alright, fine."

"Thank you!" I hug her tightly, "You're the best, Nami, I owe you one."

"You bet your butt you do. Geez, the things I do for you."

"Aw, you know you still love me."

"Yeah, yeah, I guess so. Now, let me tell you all the dirt I found on Paula, it's absolutely rich."

"Spill."

* * *

 **5:00 pm**

This is it. My last chance to taste freedom.

Today, I have made a total of fifty-five attempts to escape the hospital. Amongst these attempts were me crawling through the air ducts (I got caught when I fell through the ceiling directly into Kureha's office), making it to the lobby again only to be caught by Bepo (the stupidly adorable dog-bear went and got Law who hauled me back to my room), sneaking into the employee locker room and stealing Penguin's clothes (that didn't work because before I reached the exit, I got tackled by a half-naked Penguin), and a few more failed plans.

The reason this is my last chance to taste freedom?

Law may or may not have threatened—well, actually no, it wasn't a threat, he _promised_ —that the next time I try to get out he's chaining me to the hospital bed.

Even when I told him I'm not into that sort of thing, he just smacked my head and pulled out a pair of handcuffs to show me he isn't joking.

Stupid smirking bastard.

Where did he even get handcuffs?

Agh, whatever, it's not important. They don't understand! I need to be up and moving around, or else I'll be bored!

And now, here I sit on the window ledge, steeling myself to jump down. I've tried everything else at this point, so this is the only thing I can do now. I made a little rope out of the bed covers, but there's not enough of it to reach the ground, so it'll be a bit of a drop.

But at this point, I'm willing to do anything.

I take a deep breath and start inching my way over the ledge. Hooo boy, this is a little bit higher than I originally thought.

The door squeaks open behind me.

"Time for me to check on your injuries, May-ya," Law freezes as he sees me dangling out the window.

Oh.

Shoot.

Time to go.

Without any more time to hesitate, I take a wild leap of faith out the window with a battle cry, praying that I won't die. Time for me to taste that freedom!

"Banzai!"

Freedom, I've discovered, tastes like a mouthful of dirt and a broken leg.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Well, I will be playing catch up this weekend, I have soooo many chapters to write. Goodness. Make sure that you're keeping up on the chapters, because the updating system is weird, so if you missed it, I've posted three chapters since the Margarita chapter. Anyway, for the upcoming AU, we have one vote for a College AU so far. Any other thoughts?**

 **KHR-Yunalesca- Yup! This chapter was the real makeup though, so I hope it's okay. You'll see Nami's revenge on Paula very, very soon now :)**

 **C- You're welcome! I had a fun time drawing that Robin, especially with her tattoos and all**

 **AmericaNidiot- Cool! And yeah, May's not picking up whatever people try to put down, if you know what I mean. And thank you! I'm sure I'll end up losing track one way or another, so that would be a big help -u-**

 **Awesome Guest- Okay, good! Glad that got cleared up. And yeah, isn't Nami so cute, being protective and whatnot? (did you see the latest OP chapter? I nearly died over the protective straw hat gang :D)**

 **Star Captain Leigh- It's her policy. Like Luffy's policy on wearing sandals (unless it's Step In A Puddle And Splash Your Friends Day, you need rain boots for that). And yeah, I don't think falling on venomous pokey sea creatures is particularly fun.**

 **girlgladiator- *wink wink* ;) Ship all the ships**

 **Thanks for reading everyone, stick around!**

 **-jj**


	45. Chapter 42: In Which There Is Revenge

**February 27/Saturday/7:00 am**

"I'm telling you for god's sake, I don't need to stay here. Gimme some damn crutches and let me be on my way!"

"Maybe now you'll think twice about throwing yourself out the nearest window when you're injured _._ "

I tug at my hair with one hand (the other is chained to the bars to the hospital bed; courtesy of Law, who made good on his promise) and try to kick him with my foot that's in a cast (the other one is also chained to the bed—the jerk). He catches it easily and holds it hostage while I simmer in frustration and he smirks in a manner reminiscent of your typical Evil-Genius-Doctor type that has the Charming-And-Sorta-Dense-But-Overall-Loveable hero cornered with a brilliant evil master plan.

My stay at the hospital has been prolonged after I broke my leg last night. I don't know why they're keeping me though, it's not like I need to be here.

Stupid doctors.

"Look, the sea urchin stuff isn't bothering me anymore and I don't need to stay because of a broken leg. I can get bedrest at home."

"Considering that you're apparently prone to jumping out of windows when you're bored, I'm disinclined to believe you, May-ya."

"Why can't you just let me leave? Are you that worried I'll hurt myself?" I sigh and give up trying to reclaim my foot from the evil clutches of the evil doctor.

"Hell no," he says bluntly, "You think I'm going to let you go and risk _my_ hide when Kureha-ya asks where you are? Think again."

I give up with an almighty _hmph!_ and throw myself back onto the pillows.

"Can you, I dunno, at least get me something to do then since I'm sentenced to slow and certain death by forced idleness? I'm already bored to tears, one day here was bad enough. A Sudoku puzzle would be fine, or maybe if I got to cuddle with Bepo…" I look up at my friend with sparkling eyes and he twitches.

"Stop that, it's gross."

The eye sparkles intensify as I silently plead with him.

"…Fine. Just a moment."

He leaves and comes back in moments later with his fluffy little bear- I mean dog. I squeak with happiness and hold out my arm to accept the cuddly animal.

While I entertain myself with Bepo's cute little paws and Law checks my cast, someone comes in.

"Hello, May, the Kind and Thoughtful Ace-sama has come to visit you on this fine Saturday morning! …Why are you chained to the bed."

"Law did it."

Ace passes a critical eye over Law.

"Wow, Doc, didn't know you were into that sort of thing. No judgement here, though."

"Stop talking this instant."

"You know, as they say, to each their own and all that."

"Shut up or I'll make you shut up."

"Oo, that sounds naughty. Would be lying if I said I haven't thought about it with you, but sorry to disappoint you, I'm just not interested in those kinds of things…"

He casually dodges a scalpel aimed for his head and makes a shooing motion for me to move over in the bed before he settles next to me and gets comfortable, pulling Bepo into his arms.

"So, Ace, did Luffy kick Alligator-san's ass?" I ask as we fawn over the polar bear cub- I mean dog. He's getting bigger, I don't think Law's going to be able to pass him off as a dog for much longer. Not that anyone really bought that cover in the first place. Except maybe Luffy.

"Yup! Sent him flying with one of his punches. It was awesome!" he smiles with pride for his little brother, reenacting the punch for me, smashing his fist into the invisible Alligator-san's face, "How's the cripple doing today?"

" _Rude._ I'm not crippled."

"I'll leave the two of you to yourselves then," Law mumbles awkwardly, setting his hat firmly on his head and making for the door, "Don't even think about picking the locks or I _will_ weld them."

"Oh, c'mon Torao, don't be like that. You get over here too, we can't have you left out," Ace grabs his white coat and tugs him backwards so he topples onto our legs.

"Yeah-OW MY LEG!"

"Oops, sorry May."

"Let me go, I have work to do."

"Nope~!" we both grin and grasp onto him to keep him sitting down.

"Ow, but no, seriously, get off my leg."

"Don't throw yourself out of _fucking windows._ "

"That's fair," I concede amiably.

Ace and I pull Law up to sit between us, but since this bed isn't exactly big, we're all sorta piled on top of each other.

But, it's nice.

Cozy.

"You're a surprisingly cuddly person, Torao, we should do this more often."

Law pokes Ace's cheek to shut him up.

"Gross."

* * *

 **11:40 am**

I've finally called in the big guns.

After Ace left to go about his day (but not before we made Law sit with us on my bed for a good three hours and shoot the breeze; every time he made to get up we would latch onto him and refuse to let go), I finally got fed up with my situation and decided it's time to get out of here.

So of course, I called on my ultimate weapon to come aid me.

' _May, are you out of the hospital yet?'_

' _No they're being super uncool about this whole thing. Which is too bad, because didn't we promise to have an adventure today? Maybe if you come help me escape then I'd be able to leave…'_

' _Yes! Don't worry, I'll be right there and then ADVENTURE'_

Yup. You guessed it.

It's Luffy.

Hardly ten minutes after I text him, Luffy is barging through the door, his bright, excited smile in place.

"May! What are you waiting for, we have adventuring to do!"

"I'd love to, Lu, but Torao kinda handcuffed me to the bed," I tug at my restrained hand to show him.

"No prob!"

Without further ado, Luffy tears the chain connecting the cuffs as easily as if he's ripping paper and frees both my hand and foot. I now have a cool anklet and bracelet (with the minor setback that they can't come off without a key) but it's better than staying in bed all day for the second time in a row. And on a non-Monday. The idea!

He picks me up and grins widely.

"Let's go!"

* * *

 **4:00 pm**

We ended up going to a nearby park and simply having our adventure on the swingset.

Something that Ace failed to mention is that Luffy got hurt in his fight with Alligator-san. I didn't notice until we had escaped the Thousand Sunny Hospital (with a screaming Kureha on our tails; it's hard to notice much else when a witch is chasing you to bring you back to hell), but Luffy has a limp and several bandages on his chest today.

I demanded that he put me down immediately and that we save our adventure for tomorrow when I have crutches and can walk by myself so I won't be a burden, but he was insistent that we go adventuring today.

I only convinced him to stop at the park by promising to make him a large and sumptuous meal with lots and lots of meat tonight.

We spent a couple hours there, just swinging back and forth and talking about our exploits of yesterday and catching up. It hasn't been a long time, but a lot can happen in one day.

Finally, we both decided it was time to get me back to my café. We agreed, I've been away for far too long.

Luffy is being stubborn and carries me back (thankfully we're not that far from my home), and we arrive to find Nami sitting outside the café, blowing large bubbles into the air.

"May, I'm giving you twenty minutes," she says without greeting, a particularly large bubble floating up above her to join the others.

"I won't need half of that time," I tell her, and then address the teen carrying me seriously, "Luffy!"

"Yes!"

"Bring us to Spider's Café, I need to have words with someone."

"Yes, ma'am!"

Luffy kicks down the door of Paula's café (because his hands are full of me) with maybe a bit more force than he normally would, startling the owner herself and a few of the customers she has.

"I heard that the lady puts boogers in the food and drinks," Luffy loudly proclaims, setting me down and inspecting the nearest person's drink, "Wow! It's true, look there's one floating right there!"

His plan to give us privacy works. It's not long before all the customers have cleared out.

"What is the meaning of this?" Paula yells in outrage, "You can't just come in here and spout lies! I'll call the police-"

"Paula!" I shout, unable to move towards her without Luffy's help, so I settle for standing impressively in the doorway and crossing my arms and leaning to one side to avoid placing weight on my broken leg.

"What do you want, bitch? Don't test me, I will call them-"

"No. You listen up. I know that you put sea urchins in my café and something sticky on my doorstep so that I'd take off my shoes and step on them. You did a good job because I did, and had to go to the hospital."

"Yeah, tell 'er, May!" Luffy cheers.

She suddenly becomes very calm and crosses her arms to mirror me. And leans her hip to one side as well, to be sassy or something. She pulls it off much better than me.

Shoot, I was hoping to look cool.

' _Agh, it doesn't matter, focus, May!'_

"Sea urchins? What in Grand Line are you talking about?"

"Bleh, stupid lady, don't act dumb!" Luffy sticks his tongue out at her.

"My friend got pictures of you setting it up," I pull out the photos Nami gave me yesterday and wave them in the air; her eyes follow them closely, narrowed, "But you see, I'm here to tell you: I forgive you."

"Excuse me?" she asks in disbelief.

"I forgive you. I don't know why you wanted to hurt me, but I know you're not a bad person-"  
"You're terrible at judging people, May," Luffy calls from the sidelines.  
"Why the hell is he here?" snaps Paula irritably.  
"-Moral support. Anyway, I'd like to be your friend. So, once you're done serving time, come back and then we can really start a friendship," I grin at her, holding out my hand to her as peace offering.

She steps forward in a saucy manner.

"…You're not upset that I poisoned you?"

"Nope," my smile gets wider, "Friends?"

She looks at my hand, up at me, then back at my hand.

"I guess I could try…friends," she takes it hesitantly and I beam, "…What did you mean 'when I'm done serving time'?"

"Well, you see-"

I get cut off by some police bursting through the door.

"Paula Doublefinger, freeze and put your hands in the air! You're under arrest!"

Luffy and I get swept to the side as the officers arrest a dumbstruck Paula and sweep her outside to the waiting cars. My dumpling helps me limp out to see her leaning against a police car getting patted down. Op, and she is glaring at me. Wow, that is a scary expression.

"You planned this, didn't you?!"

"No, this is actually all Nami's doing!" I call to her from behind the officers.

Nami finishes blowing her bubbles—oo, they've formed a small cloud over the police cars, I wonder how she did that—and closes the bottle with a click. She points at Paula.

"Three, two, one-"

A small bolt of lightning hits Paula and the police scatter with cries of shock, but quickly regain themselves, and push the lady with smoking, frizzled hair into the backseat.

"Bye, Paula!" I wave sunnily to her, "Come back soon!'"

I don't think she can really hear me though, she doesn't look conscious. I hope she's okay.

I turn to Nami.

"Was the lightning necessary?"

"Absolutely. You don't mess with my friends," she huffs proudly.

"How did you do it? That was so cool!"

"I'm a genius," she flips her hair with a sparkle, and looks over at the police officer that's still here, "Thank you so much, officer, I don't know what we would have done without you."

"You helped us apprehend a criminal, it's me that should be thanking you."

Oh, it's Smoker, two cigars hanging out of his mouth as per usual.

"Such strange weather we're having though. That lightning came out of nowhere."

"That's Grand Line for you," I smile, bringing the policeman's attention to me and Luffy.

"Strawhat!"

"Smokie!"

"Stop calling me that! Ugh, it doesn't matter, today is the day I arrest you," he growls.

"Officer Smoker! You wouldn't take away a cripple's only means of getting around, would you?" I ask him, appalled that he would do something like that.

"What."

"He's my crutch," I pat Luffy's shoulder, leaning on him to display the cast on my leg to the white-haired man, "Would you arrest him and leave me totally helpless?"

"How cruel," Nami puts a hand on her cheek, "I thought police were good people."

"Yeah, how despicable, Smokie!" Luffy chimes in.

"Well, I wouldn't-" he starts, looking uncomfortable.

"Great, so you won't be arresting him!" I say, clapping my hands in resolve, "Glad that's all cleared up! Now. Do you want to sign my cast?"

* * *

 **7:00 pm**

Basically all of my friends are squeezed into the front of the café at the moment. When they heard that I am out of the hospital, they all rushed over to see for themselves that I'm alright. And to sign my cast of course.

Usopp drew some beautiful flowery designs on it for me, but Luffy kinda ruined it by drawing a horribly lopsided pirate skull over them. He got slapped by Usopp for that. But even so, I love it. By the time everyone's put some kind of decoration on it, my cast is a colorful array of scrawled signatures or little doodles.

Chou Chou has not left my side ever since I got back. It's the sweetest thing. I made sure one of my friends stopped in yesterday to look after him, but he must have missed me.

Now, Sanji, Thatch, and I are working to create the promised 'sumptuous dinner' for everyone. I'm mostly chopping vegetables and other things so I can remain sitting down. The two ridiculous men won't let me do anything thing else and make sure I have a pillow to sit on while I work. Such caring idiots my friends are.

The night is filled with good food, stories, and boisterous laughter, Quintin predictably getting broken for the 625th time along with Nester, and some new holes in the counter.

It's so good to be back.

* * *

 **Author's Corner; Hey-a! Don't have much to say here, just a reminder to keep up on the chapters! I'll be posting more and catching up, so stay tuned and thanks for giving me time.**

 **AmericaNidiot- Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm not the best at writing fluff, but I hope the beginning is okay? :c Again, super sorry**

 **KHR-Yunalesca- Yup, May can be a handful when she puts her mind to it. But, that's okay because they all look out for each other -u-**

 **Awesome Guest- Why does Law have handcuffs?...DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT**

 **FSG Guest- *snap snap snaps as welcome back!* Haha, did you figure out what the Hawaiian shirt is for? I thought I cleared it up, but let me know if I need to explain it more. And yeah, the chapters are off because of the special bonuses and AU chapters I put in. Oh well.**

 **Albertasteinthe21stgenius- Yes, very much ouch. But getting hit with lightning is very much out to RIP Paula**

 **ADDBabay- Because despite what they have you believe, no one in this story has a shred of common sense lol**

 **Mkay, stick around!**

 **-jj**


	46. Chapter 43: In Which I Take A Nap

**February 28/Sunday/5:00 am**

"No, no, the pear goes on the Danish, the peaches go on the puff pastry!"

"Ah! Don't forget to grease the pan first! It's going to be a horrible mess if you don't."

"You have to scoop them out consistently, otherwise they'll not only look different, but they'll bake unevenly."

"Wait, don't use that flour, use this one."

Thatch has been kind enough to help me set up the café today. He's doing his best, but his specialty lies with cooking. Baking? Not so much.

At least he doesn't lack kitchen training, so he works fairly quickly and picks up on things fast, but he doesn't know my kitchen or what I do like I do, so it's been slow-going this morning. I'm trying not to be too hard on him though.

"And see, you twist this, tuck it under here, wrap it around, and it makes a little basket! Put some cheese in, put the pears on top of that," I show him how to do the Danishes again.

"How do you do that so quickly?" Thatch asks in awe.

"Lots of practice," I smile, "Here, you give it a try."

By the time he finishes making one, I've already finished six and am moving on to the next step.

"Good," I nod in approval as he proudly presents his one Danish and he beams, "Now, we put them on a sheet pan, cover it with an egg wash so it'll get nice and shiny golden brown, sprinkle some coarse sugar on top of them, stick 'em in the oven and wait."

Thatch slides the sheet into the oven for me while I remain siting down and pull the next thing towards me. This is why Thatch is here; my mobility is severely limited, so he's been doing my running around and heavy lifting for me. And helping out where he can.

"You're amazing, May," he says, coming back to stand by my side again as I start piping madeleine cookies into their mold, "I can't believe you do this all by yourself every day. Haven't you ever thought of getting someone to help out around here?"

"Yeah, I've thought about it," I tell him, "But, honestly, it's so much easier and faster to do it myself than train someone who doesn't know how I operate."

"Sorry," he says sheepishly.

"What? Oh, no, no, I'm super grateful for your help today! I would be going much slower if you weren't here," I put down the piping bag and give him a quick hug, "You're doing great, so don't worry about it."

I go back to piping and even let him try a few.

"And anyway," I continue from my previous thought, "I barely make enough money to support myself, if I had employees to pay, I'd be broke!"

"Oh right. Hey, did I tell you that Pops is going on another whale-watching trip soon? You're invited, of course."

* * *

 **9:00 am**

Thatch and I finished preparing everything for opening and have a nice breakfast while I write out what needs to be done in the café for today. Because, I'm going on an adventure, so I won't be here. Luffy and Ace will be here soon to pick me up and I want to make sure I have everything written down so that Thatch knows what to do.

"And make sure you rotate the display shelves at least once every three hours. Anything you're not using goes in the fridge or freezer, you might have to make more things throughout the day, coffee beans are right next to the coffee maker, and-"

"May, May, I think I've got it," Thatch says good-naturedly, "I'm not completely stupid when it comes to handling food. I do run the zoo's kitchens you know."

"Sorry, it's just this is the first time I've left the café in someone else's hands before," I give him an apologetic smile and put down my pen before handing the paper over to him.

With a crash, the door opens and my favorite brothers enter.

"May! Adventure!" Luffy calls.

"You got it. Alright, Thatch, take care of the place, try to keep Quintin from being broken, and Nester, too, call me if anything happens—well, call if anything worse than usual happens—oh! And don't forget to keep the coffee going all the time-"

"Enough, May, get out of here already!" he laughs.

"Thanks again, Thatch. See you later today."

Ace helps me into my sweater, hands me my crutches, and we're off, Thatch waving us on our way.

What we don't know is that the second we're out of sight, Thatch whips out his phone and dials a number.

"Look, I need help. Yes, I'm watching May's café. There's no way one person can do the amount of work she does, the sheer amount that she works is insane, so get your ass over here and bring at least ten other people."

* * *

 **12:25 pm**

For today's adventure, we decided to take it relatively easy seeing as both Luffy and I are injured. Which, knowing us, we'll probably end up doing the exact opposite sooner or later.

Anywho, instead of walking, we took the Puffing Tom. It was nice to see Kokoro and her granddaughter and it was also fun to go at frightening speeds down Grand Line on the little trolley train, hooting with laughter all the way.

We end up somewhere in the Long-Ring-Longland District, the other seaside district besides Water 7. It's an odd district (but really, in a city with weather that changes every five minutes, maybe it's not so odd); it's only fully accessible at certain times during the day when the tide is low. At high tide, the water floods the district and leaves only little islands of land that are high enough to remain dry.

We arrive at low tide but find that the water is rising quickly. We're stuck on a little patch of high ground for now, enjoying lunch we bought from a food stand run by a little old man (we thought he was tall at first, but it turns out he is just on stilts) and talking aimlessly as we sit on the grass.

"We should name your cast, May," Luffy decides with a nod of his head as we eat.

"Great idea, Lu. Yeah, a good n' strong name so that you can heal soon," Ace agrees; we watch an extremely elongated dog stroll past us. What a strange creature. You could play limbo with it, that's how long it is.

"Hmm, a strong name…what about Belinda?" I suggest.

"No, no, Hufa Weituo Zuntian Pusa is better," Luffy says, "Skanda for short."

"Are you making fun of me."

"Skanda has a nice ring to it," Ace ignores me and pats the newly-named Skanda.

"Skanda it is," Luffy nods again in resolve and also pats Skanda, "You better heal May up quickly, you hear Skanda?"

Well, I guess I'm stuck with Skanda whether I like it or not now.

"Oh!" I pull out my phone, remembering something, "I need to call Thatch to see how he's doing, gimme a sec guys."

"We're not going anywhere any time soon."

I dial up Thatch and it takes him a while to answer. On the sixth ring, he finally answers and he sounds slightly out of breath.

"Hello, who is it, what do you want?" he says in a rush.

"Hi, Thatch, it's me May. How are things going?"

"What? May? Oh yes, hello! Haha, things are fine-," There's a muffled crash followed by a scream in the background-, "Absolutely fine. Super. 100% under control."

"Are you sure about that," I ask suspiciously.

"Yes. Don't mind the noises, I'm…uh…watching the International China Smashing Tournament right now."

"I don't have a TV at the café," I point out.

"No, I'm watching it on Marco's phone. He's here for a bit-oh and he tells me to say hi and that he's not responsible for anything- Oi, you bastard, don't try to make yourself look good, we're all in this boat together!" the last part sounds a bit more distant as if Thatch is holding the phone away from himself to yell at Marco.

" _What_."

"Nothing!" Oh, and Thatch is back close to the receiver, sounding way too chipper for anything good to be happening, "Have fun on your adventure, bye."

He hangs up before I can stop him and I pocket my phone with a sigh.

I'll worry about the destruction that is no doubt happening to my café at the moment later. There's no room for worries when you're on an adventure.

"What's up? How is Thatch doing?" Ace asks, licking his fingers of any leftover crumbs, leaning back on the grass, and covering his eyes with his hat to block out the sun.

"Probably going to burn down the café by the time we get back, but it's okay. Nothing he can do will ever top what the two of you have already done in the past."

"Yes!" Luffy pumps his fists, "That means we're the champions!"

"That's not meant to be a good thing, Lu."

"But, being a champion is a good thing?"

"Just forget it."

I stretch my arms and fall back to lie down next to Ace. It's a warm, sleepy kind of day (at the moment; it could change just as easily to lightning and thunder as I speak), perfect for a nap…

"Shall we wait for low tide by celebrating Public Sleeping Day?" I ask the brothers.

"Sounds like a plan!" Luffy grins and lays down as well.

Ace is already snoring.

Luffy and I turn to each other and share a look before we break out in giggles and we roll over and join the snoring man.

* * *

 **3:30 pm**

"Ahh, what a refreshing nap!"

I yawn and sit up, making Luffy's and Ace's arms that are thrown haphazardly over me slip off and flop back to their sides. They both wake up with snorts at the movement.

"Time to go?" Luffy asks, yawning widely and adjusting his hat to sit more firmly upon his head.

"Looks like it," Ace says, also sitting up and noticing that the high tide has receded, "I had a good nap!"

"I did, too."

The three of us scream and jerk away from the fourth person next to us: a tall man wearing a dark green coat and beanie, laying leisurely on the grass with his head propped up.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," he says passively.

"Oh, please excuse us, we were just startled," Ace says, recovering the quickest, "I am Ace."

"You're very polite. I am Kuzan," he returns, since it's only polite to give your name when someone gives theirs first.

"Luffy," said teen holds up and hand in greeting.

"May."

He nods to each of us in turn before he focuses on me.

"What a lovely lady. Are you free tonight?"

I blink.

"You're probably twice her age, oji-san, that's creepy," Luffy says bluntly.

"Yeah, May's not interested in those kinds of things anyway," Ace adds.

The man shrugs.

"…What?" I'm so confused.

"Don't worry about it," Ace tells me.

"Okay? Well, I don't know about you guys, but I could use some post-napping coffee. Would you like some, mister?"

"I wouldn't turn down a good cup of coffee," he shrugs again.

I nod and pull out the thermos I brought with me on our adventure and pour cups for the four of us.

"So, were you celebrating Public Sleeping Day as well?"

* * *

 **6:00 pm**

Ace, Luffy, and I talked pleasantly with Mr. Kuzan a while longer while we sipped our coffee, until he had to be on his way. We waved to him cheerfully as he rode off on his bike, then gathered our things and set off to continue our adventure.

We ended up running out of Long-Ring-Longland District, chased by some weirdos wearing some bizarre combination of masks/hats that looked vaguely like fox ears who were screaming about some kind of challenge. Ace had to throw both Luffy and me over his shoulders and run since again, we're both hurt and can't do much on our own. I helped keep the weirdos away from us by hitting any of them that came too close with my crutches.

Anyway, we walked through Water 7 on our way home, stopped in to say hello to everyone at Galley-La, and finally made it back to the Puffing Tom and back to the café.

Now, do you remember something I said earlier? A little something said in passing. Something about the café burning down.

When I said that, it was meant to be a joke.

However, when I pass through the doors (but not before checking that there's no sea urchins or other items that would be unfortunate to step on covering the floor; hey, fool me once) I see, in this exact order:

Haruta desperately trying to sop up the coffee overflowing from the carafe.

Rakuyo unconscious on the floor with Namur trying to frantically fan him back to the living.

Quintin lying in pieces (Nester is in a similar state).

Izo, sitting casually at the counter, sipping green tea.

And Thatch and Marco in the kitchen, where smoke is pouring out of, battling with a large fire and trying to beat it out.

I take one long, _long_ look at everything and sigh deeply before I decide that no, I can't just walk upstairs and leave this mess to sort itself out.

"Ace, please go help put out the fire."

For all that the man loves starting fires, he's also very good at snuffing them out. He nods and dashes to the kitchen, grabbing the fire extinguisher on the way.

"Lu, help Rakuyo?"

"Sure thing!"

He bounces over and smacks Rakuyo soundly across the face; the man wakes up with a start and begins cursing everything under the sun, including the brat that just slapped him.

I grab a bowl and pour the overflowing coffee into it before setting the pot back into the machine and snatching up some towels to mop up the mess.

"May!"

All of the men rush at me, yelling apologies.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know how to work the coffee machine-!"

"I swear, it just started by itself! I turn my back for one second and the next thing I know it's an inferno-"

"I'm innocent, yoi-"  
"Shut up, Marco-"

"Sorry about Quintin!"

"Whoa, whoa!" I call for order, overwhelmed by their voices, and they settle down, "It's okay, guys, we'll deal with it."

They all look at me with big, shiny-with-tears eyes.

"Please forgive us!" they cry.

"Nothing to forgive," I smile, "I was expecting there to be chaos today, so don't worry about it."

"You're a saint, May, an absolute saint."

"How do you do all this by yourself?"

"Yeah, and still have energy to go about your day?"

My smile widens.

"Twenty cups of tea in the morning and an enthusiasm for life. C'mon, let's clean this disaster up."

I think we all learned something important here today. I for one, learned that I am never leaving my café in someone else's care ever again, that's for damn sure.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! ...Has a report to write. Writes fanfiction instead. I'm working on it guys, promise.**

 **Albertasteainthe21stgenius- Yup, but she'll be back, don't worry**

 **AmericaNidiot- Whew, I'm so glad I was able to brighten your day :)**

 **ADDBaby- Fear not! With Hufa Weituo Zuntian Pusa lending her his power, she'll back on her feet in no time!**

 **KHR-Yualesca- I can't explain to you how she made the lightning, but I can tell you it is most science-y and impressive. Hope you enjoyed more of Whitebeard's boys in this chapter!**

 **tifftiff4321- Pateince, my friend. (Not for a long, long time. Like I've said, this story is an incredible slow build)**

 **Awesome Guest- Indeed!**

 **FSG Guest- Soon! You won't have to wait much longer friend, he's on his way :D**

 **Thanks for reading, stick around!**

 **-jj**


	47. Chapter 44: In Which I Go Down Stairs

**February 29/Monday/7:00 am**

I stare down at the greatest challenge I've ever faced in my life.

Stairs.

Usually, I have nothing against stairs. They're a cool and handy architectural element that allow someone with working legs to get from one level to another level, that kids (and some adults) have fun sliding down or crawling up on all fours, that have been replaced by lifts in many places but hey, if there's a fire, the stairs are there for you. I may have problems with my stairs every once in a while when I go down to the kitchen at three in the morning and it's dark and I lose count of the twenty two steps and I misstep to be thrown for a wild second into blind panic and fear that the floor is missing and the world is ending and darkness is closing in-

Or, y'know, whatever.

But, I haven't ever had to go down stairs with a broken leg before.

Now, you might ask: May, it's your second day back from the hospital, why haven't you used the stairs yet?

The answer to that is my friends are absolutely ridiculous overprotective idiots and have carried me up and down the stairs for the past two nights and yesterday morning.

But now here I stand at the peak of the daunting obstacle, staring down glumly at what lies ahead of me.

Finally deciding on the best way to approach this, I sit down on the top step and slid my butt down to the next one, then the next, and the next, occasionally pausing to pull my crutches down to me, Hufa Weituo Zuntian Pusa (also known as Skanda) clunking awkwardly against the wooden steps.

It is in this manner that I make my way down the stairs this morning.

I hobble into the kitchen and start the kettle going.

- _CRASH-_

Oh, dangit I forgot to unlock the door. Well, Franky is fixing up the place today anyway, so I guess it doesn't make much difference any way you slice it.

"May! Food!"

Ah, yes, this is how mornings should start. It's nice to have something normal after the craziness of the past few days.

Today, Luffy, Ace, Nami, and Franky walk in, bringing liveliness to the café with them. I grin and wave to them from the kitchen doorway.

"Morning all!"

"Good morning May."

"Food!"

"Yes, yes, but I need some help. Bum leg and all that."

"I've got you covered!" Franky steps up, a new dramatic pose with every step.

"Super!"

"Yes, Superrr!"

Luffy scrambles onto the tall blue-haired man's back (since he can't latch onto me while I have Skanda) as he follows me into the kitchen and we get down to work to make breakfast.

When everyone is settled with coffee and tea, Nami has all of the papers she needs to do her accounting work, and Franky is set to fix the café, Ace and I say our goodbyes and head to Moda's. I always bring a little something extra for her as a gift, and this time I'm bringing her a large bag of my coffee beans. I roast my own beans because I like to control the flavor of my coffee, which makes it unique. It's extra work, but I think it's worth it.

"Do you want to drive, May?" Ace asks, pulling his keys out of his pocket as we step up to his car and jingling them.

"Hell no."

"Alright. Hey, I hope you don't mind, but I need to run a little errand before we go to Moda's."

"Not at all. What is it?"

* * *

 **8:00 am**

"Ace."

"May."

"You're kidding."

"Haha…no."

"What are we doing here."

"One of my guys at the zoo ran into a little, uh, shall we say _trouble_ and there's a few files inside this place I need to get rid of now."

We're sitting in Ace's car, bickering quietly, in an alley across from a large and impressive building.

This building?

G-1.

I get a flashback to angry police commissioners, smoke, and fire sprinklers and shake my head quickly.

"And you think I'm just going to wait here, biting my fingernails and waiting for the inevitable explosion? (S)?" I add as a second thought.

"Do you want to come in with me?"

I sigh and lean over to the backseat to rummage around for one of the spare sweaters that for some reason Ace always has lying around. The first one I grab and pull to the front is a simple black one that looks way too big for me, but that's good.

"If only to keep you from making _everything_ in sight combust."

We walk down the street (well, I walk as best as I can with my crutches) and casually make our way to the back of the police headquarters, doing our best to not look we-are-about-to-break-into-a-police-station-and-destroy-shit suspicious and draw attention to ourselves.

Which totally works when you've got two people, one swimming in a hoodie with a cast on their leg that looks like someone on a sugar high with varying degrees of art skill was given a pack of permanent markers in all colors of the rainbow and was told to have a field day with the cast as a canvas, and the other one is wearing more accessories than pieces of clothing.

"Let's go in through the back of the kitchens," I tell Ace lowly; the hood of his jacket is pulled halfway down my face, casting it into shadow.

"Aw, but making a flashy entrance is so much cooler."

"Some other time when you don't have a handicapped accomplice," I say and hobble past him over to the door and (with some difficulty; stupid crutches got in the way) yank it open.

Moda's parents aren't anywhere in sight, so they're either not here yet or they're out. I wave to Ace to follow quietly and we sneak into the kitchen.

A whiff of coffee reaches my nose as we pass, and I pause for a moment.

' _Oo, coffee_.'

I only had time for twelve cups of tea this morning, so I'm lacking on my usual energy right now. That won't do when we're breaking into a police station. I break off from the path to the doorway leading to the breakroom and Ace stops to look back at me curiously. I wave him to go ahead and he nods, slipping out the door like a shadow.

I pour myself a cup and add some cream.

I take a sip.

And immediately start choking.

"Bleh, ugh, ew! This coffee is terrible!"

This stuff is god awful! The worst coffee I've ever tasted, who can drink this?!

Giving up on the chance of coffee, I dump the rest of it in the sink and go to follow Ace. But, I pause in the doorway.

I need to leave and catch up with Ace.

I need to get out of here right now.

But, that coffee…

If there's one thing I hate, it's bad coffee.

I stand there for a few seconds internally debating what I should do. Finally, I nod and shuffle back to the coffee machine sitting innocently on the counter.

' _Grrr, don't you look all perfectly harmless when you have such a horrible thing lurking inside you,'_ I shake my fist at it and pull out Moda's gift from my bag.

It won't hurt if a little bit of the beans don't make it to her.

A couple minutes later, steaming coffee is trickling into the pot and I get the cup I used earlier to pour myself some once more. My crutches are resting against the counter while I stand balanced on one leg in front of the machine.

I feel something nibble at my cast-enclosed foot and look down—a white goat is at my feet, gnawing curiously on Hufa Weituo Zuntian Pusa (also known as Skanda).

"Hello, Goat-san. What are you doing here? How did you even get in?" I ask him, taking a sip of coffee.

' _Mm, so, so much better.'_

"Who are you and what are you doing here?"

I inhale some scorching hot coffee down the wrong pipe in surprise; cue a raucous coughing fit, complete with many chest thumps as I pivot around to face who snuck up on me.

A tall man with peppery grey hair, more white than black, that's styled into a very large poof and a goatee that hangs down to his chest squints down at me through his small circular glasses as I continue hacking up a lung.

"S-Sorry," I wheeze as I get over the violent coughing, my voice rough and much lower than usual, "I'm just here to deliver coffee. The chef lady and man said they had to run some errands so I could just come in and drop off the bag, but someone came by and asked me to make another pot, so here I am."

It's an impressive lie (at least I think so, for being put on the spot); if only I didn't look like I just woke up and crawled out of bed with this tent-like hoodie and booty shorts with the word 'Juicy' in bold on the back. I can't exactly wear pants with Hufa Weituo Zuntian Pusa (also known as Skanda), so I've been confined to shorts for the time being.

The strange thing is, I don't think these are my shorts. I'm fairly certain they originally belonged to Nami, but for some reason or another, I end up with my friends clothes a lot. The last time I checked, my inventory of Clothes That My Friends Are Now Mysteriously Missing includes: a leather shirt from Robin, a pair of long shorts and a striped jacket that I think were Luffy's, a couple T-shirts previously Zoro's, an ugly Hawaiian shirt from Franky (this is the only item that I intentionally took, the rest found their way into my wardrobe on their own), pretty sure the hot pink stilettos in the back of my closet buried under dirty clothes were Brook's, more assorted booty shorts with words like 'Work Bitch', 'R U Nasty?', 'Dat Ass', 'Hot Stuff' (the majority of these shorts I believe are from Nami, but I'm like 90% sure the last pair was Ace's before it became mine), and the list goes on and on.

Anyway, the point is, I own a lot of articles of clothing that aren't actually mine.

But, I'm getting off topic. My wardrobe doesn't really matter right now.

This old guy is staring suspiciously down at me and I feel like I'm five seconds away from either being kicked out or arrested.

"Would you like a cup?" I ask quickly, my voice still rough around the edges.

Without waiting for his answer, I pour some of the hot coffee into a mug for him and pull out sugar and cream for him to use if he wants.

He stares at me suspiciously for a moment more, then takes a sip.

"This is some good coffee," he marvels, looking surprised, "It's usually so bad."

I swell with pride and put my hand on my chin, nodding my head.

"Yes, yes, it's good, right? My coffee's the best, right?"

Before he can give my coffee more praise (that it deserves!) a pager at his waist goes off.

" _Mr. Sengoku, Mr. Garp has barreled a hole in your whole again, please come stop him before he ruins any important files_."

"Ah, that damn destructive man," 'Mr. Sengoku' curses, bending down and picking up Goat-san to tuck it under his arm before straightening up again, "Thank you for the coffee, it is a blessing to not have my taste buds shrivel up and die from drinking it. Farewell."

With a parting nod, he takes his coffee (and his goat) and exits.

I watch him leave until the back of his coat disappears out the door.

Then, I whip out my phone.

' _Ace, we need to leave soon. Apparently your grandpa is in the building.'_

Within mere moments, I hear fast but quiet footsteps and Ace is running through the kitchen, picking me up, and out the door.

"Hell no am I risking _that_ encounter!" he says as he revs the engine of his car and we're on our way to Moda's again, "Oh well, I took care of everything I needed, I just didn't get to blow anything up like I wanted."

"I guess it sometimes good that Garp is such a formidable man," I speculate in all seriousness.

Ace throws me a horrified look.

"Don't speak so lightly of these kinds of things."

"Yeah, yeah, just drive. We've already been side-tracked enough."

* * *

 **12:45 pm**

"Haha, it's a Jack, I win!"

Moda cries out in delight as she collects the pile of cards underneath the top card, a Jack of spades.

"We lost again!" both Ace and I groan, but smile at her.

"Guess there's no beating the Champion after all," Ace says and Moda beams at the praise.

We've been playing a few rounds of Slapjack with Moda while we enjoy coffee and cookies before we have to load up and head back to the city. The young girl has won every game in typical fashion.

Ace helps bring over the dishes and cups we used to the sink, listening to Moda talk excitedly about some of the cows that are due to give birth soon and how he should come see the babies when they arrive.

I still think it's a miracle that she and Ace became friends. I don't know exactly how it happened, but there was something about Ace drowning and the young girl saving him and the rest, as they say, is history. I'm glad that they met though, because Moda's one of the sweetest little things ever (and the best dairy comes from her farm, so that's a bonus). I always look forward to the end of the month when I get to visit her on my grocery run.

But, as always, it comes time for us to pack up the car and hit the road.

Moda helps us lug everything out and load it securely into the backseat while a few of the dwarf cows meander over to watch us with curious apathy.

"Have a safe trip back!" she say brightly and I give her a hug through the window.

"Awwww! So cute! Ace, we're taking her back with us, Moda's too precious to let go of," I decide and attempt to pull her into the car.

"W-Wait, Lily-san, I need to stay here and- Ace-san, please help!"

"Make sure to lock the doors so she can't escape," he says helpfully, putting the car into reverse and backing up just a little.

"Ah, no stop!"

We laugh at the flustered girl and let her go.

"Just messing with you, kid," Ace tells her.

"Geez! You two are the worst at teasing," she huffs, but still waves to us with a smile as we drive away.

"Do you think her parents would notice if we kidnap her one of these days?" I ask him and he shoots me an amused smile.

"Yeah, I think they would notice their daughter missing. That's kinda something you can't ignore."

"We could make a really convincing dummy and replace her with it."

" _May._ "

"Just saying."

* * *

 **5:00 pm**

Luffy is entertaining himself by drumming on my cast (also known as Skanda) with a fork and spoon while we sit on the couch with my legs in his lap and Nami sits at Quintin.

I've had a wonderfully lazy Monday after Ace and I got back and put all of the things from Moda away and he went to go do something that I think had to do with our trip to G-1 this morning. Anyway, I've stayed on the couch with Luffy for the better part of the afternoon, chatting and playing little games or bugging Nami.

"How are we looking this month, Nami?" I ask, tossing her the bag of pistachios Luffy and I have been enjoying. Ace bought too many on Pistachio Day, so I have extra bags; not that I mind, pistachios are delicious.

"Abysmal as usual," she says, catching the bag without looking up and taking a handful, "I keep telling you May, if you only raised your prices by a few Beri, you'd stop losing money and start rolling in a profit. It's bad enough that you let so many people mooch off of you, that's where most of you food expenses are going."

She looks pointedly at Luffy and I laugh.

"I'm okay with that. You know I can't turn away friends when they're hungry."

"You can and you should."

I just wave her off and settle back more comfortably on the couch. But, the door opens and I look over the top of the sofa to see who it is: Red!

"Hello!" I call cheerily, waving to him.

"Where have you been?" he asks.

"Hm? What's that?"

"You haven't been here the last two days I tried to come here," he says, crossing his arms; I wonder why he looks so angry all the time. Well, then again, so does Zoro. Maybe it's just their default setting.

"Poisoned, broken leg, and adventure!" I tick off my fingers as I sum up the hectic events of the past few days for him with a bright smile and lift my leg up from Luffy's lap (he follows it with his fork-spoon-drumsticks and continues to tap on it), "Say hello to Hufa Weituo Zuntian Pusa, also known as Skanda."

"What the fuck kind of name is that?"

"A good one," I huff, bringing me foot down on Luffy's head when he looks like he's about to retort.

"Wait, did you say you were poisoned?" he asks.

"Most definitely!" I grin, "It's an exciting tale of thrilling revenge, wonderful friendship, daring escapades, and forgiveness, wanna hear? Wait, you just said you came here two days in a row. Aww, did you come to see me?"

He straightens up from giving a concerned look at my cast.

"Hell no."

"Yeah, yeah, do you at least want to sign Skanda?"

Luffy wraps his arms around Skanda and pouts.

"No, May, don't let him sign it, he's a jerk."

"Oi, you little brat, I'll do what I want," Red says, picking a marker that was left on the counter and stepping back over.

Luffy just shakes his head and hugs my leg tighter to his chest.

"Only the worthy get to sign Skanda," the teen sticks his tongue out at Red, taunting him and Kidd flares up.

"And what are you gonna do to stop me, huh?!"

He lunges at Skanda with the marker posed to strike and a fiercely determined grin. Luffy kicks his wrist though, blocking him before he can get to my cast.

Things quickly escalate and before I know it, Quintin is in pieces for the six hundred and twenty-seventh time and Luffy and Kidd have somehow gotten into a sharpie marker battle.

I watch helplessly as they continue to damage my café, unable to get to my phonebooks.

It's finally Nami who slams her thick journal into the guys' faces, screeching at them to shut up and let her work in quiet.

"Sorry about Quintin, May!"

"He'll be fine," I sigh, spreading out on the couch in resignation and getting comfy; I'll call up Iceburg later. Right now, I'm far too cozy on the couch to move anywhere.

My eyes slip close.

Something lands on my leg.

More specifically, the leg that Skanda is on.

Meaning, the leg that is very much broken right now.

"Haha! I signed it! What are you gonna do about it?" Red cries victoriously.

" _Ow my leg!_ "

Luffy promptly kicks Red in the shin.


	48. Chapter 45: In Which We Have Crepes

**March 1/Tuesday/6:30 am**

I totter to the coffee machine to get it going since today is going to be busy.

It's another morning of shorts (today's pair say DOSKO1 on the rear), sliding down the stairs on my butt, of aching armpits, and limited mobility. I like Skanda now that he has charm thanks to my friends' scrawls that cover every inch of him, but he is a real pain in the patoot and I'm seriously regretting jumping out of that hospital window.

But, live with your consequences.

I throw open the curtains to reveal the crowd of people that always gathers at the beginning of each month and open the floodgates to let everyone in. They come tumbling over each other, eager to get a spot and I can't keep the smile off my face.

"Good morning!" they all cheer as one, filling every empty spot the café has to offer and then some until it's fit to bursting. Someone grabs the griddles and portable stove for me, another a stool so I can sit but still make crepes. The rest I have prepared already and all that's left is to begin.

I take my throne with the help of Sanji's offered hand and pick up the batter with a large grin.

"Thanks for coming today. You all know the drill!"

Happy chatter explodes throughout the café as I pour the first crepe. Their energy bolsters my movements and I hum a bit as I start passing off crepes and Usopp is a dear and starts distributing coffee to the waiting throng; if today continues to have this warm and fuzzy feeling, even a little broken leg won't be able to get me down.

"Ah! May, I accidentally broke Nester!"

"Ace! Stop trying to use Quintin as firewood!"

* * *

 **12:00 pm**

Right at noon, Vivi comes bursting into the café and runs straight at me.

"Oh, hey Vivi, you made it for Crepe Day, awesome- _Aghugughplffbt?!_ "

The unintelligible gibberish at the end there is Vivi slamming into me full tilt and both of us toppling over the stool I'm sitting on, the teen crying wildly.

"May! I'm so sorry, this is all my fault, and then you even broke your leg and it's all because of me, and _I'm so sorry!_ " she sobs into my chest as we lay on the floor, legs sticking out awkwardly over the stool that crashed down with us while a few people lean over to see if we're alright.

"You good there May?" Shanks asks.

He's totally laughing though.

Jerk.

"Super," I give him a thumbs up, then pat Vivi's back, "Hey, hey, what's this about stuff being your fault? You haven't done anything wrong, Vivi, here stop crying."

I motion for a tissue from the people standing around us and get a box of Kleenex thrown gracefully onto my face. I grumble insults at whoever did that under my breath, but pull a handful out and Vivi looks up at me with teary eyes and a snotty nose—ewww, grotty, there's boogers all over my sweater now (thank god it's the one I got from Ace yesterday-yes, his sweater is now mine)—but I hold a tissue up to her face anyway.

"Blow," I command and she honks inelegantly into it while I continue to pat her back.

Once she seems more calm, I try again.

"So, what's all this about?"

"It's all my fault!" she wails—aw geez, and she just settled down, "There's been this really nasty person that's been threatening my Papa's company recently, and he had his underlings surround my friends in order to hurt them to intimidate us into selling out, and Paula was one of them and she hurt you and then you broke your leg on top of that, and I'm so sorry! You got hurt because of me!"

"Whoa, whoa, Vivi, it's fine!" I say, startled by the rush of words, "Look, I'm alright. A little bruised, but I'm alright. It wasn't your fault that whoever that prick was decided to be a massive twat, and the broken leg was my own stupidness-"

"Bet your ass it was!" several of my friends call from the sidelines.  
"Kids these days! So reckless and always getting themselves hurt!"  
"Who jumps out second floor windows anyways?"  
"Stupid people."

"Whatever!" I yell defensively at them before turning back to my young friend, "Either way, we're all safe and sound and I hope you kicked that sorry sack of poop's sorry butt."

She finally wipes her eyes with her knuckles and grins.

"Yeah, Luffy really helped me beat Crocodile," I notice the bandage on her cheek and I swell with pride; when it comes down to it, my friends know how to hold their own and I couldn't be more proud of them.

"Oh! You mean Alligator-san!"

"What? You mean Crocodile?" she asks.

"No, no Alligator-san! Ahh, who cares anyway? Want a crepe?"

"I would love one," she smiles.

"Also, you should sign Hufa Weituo Zuntian Pusa."

"Who what now?"

"Also known as Skanda," I explain simply at her befuddled look. She just looks more confused.

Ace, who's standing nearby, lends us a hand up off the ground and helps me back onto my seat.

"Ewww, May, there's snot on my jacket."

"What? What jacket? Who said this is yours?"

"You literally got it from my car yesterday. It has my name on the tag inside."

"Coincidence."

"And—hey, my wallet is in the pocket, _that's_ where that thing went."

" _Coincidence._ "

* * *

 **3:15 pm**

"Hot potato!"

"Hot potato!"

"Hot potato!"

The chain of shouts continues through the café as I flip crepes off the stove, put filling in them and flip them onto people's waiting plates, who in turn, toss them to people sitting furthest away. It's a well-practiced routine that I'll pull out of my sleeve when the café is particularly full on Crepe Days and not one person misses the beat, having done this many times. Brook even starts up a lively tune and soon everyone is clapping along and passing on the crepes in time to the song.

I think I see Chou Chou soaring through the air.

Oh, and there's Luffy as well, sailing after a crepe and trying to catch it in his mouth.

He's crashes into Zoro and they go tumbling to the ground in a mess of arms and legs and yelled curses. Robin safely catches Chou Chou.

I duck under a zooming crepe that Iceburg throws all the way across the room to Oyaji who catches it safely on his plate with a booming laugh. Then I use my crutch to push Luffy away from the meat that's sizzling on the stove as he watches it with hungry eyes and a hand that's inching closer and closer to it, flipping another crepe with my other hand at the same time.

"Next one!" I call and flip the crepe into the air.

The person in front of me catches it vertically on their plate and lowers it to reveal Rayleigh-san.

"Afternoon, Miss May," he says cordially, "Rent's due."

"Right," I smile at his reminder and use my spatula to point to where Nami is sitting at the end of the counter, dodging miscellaneous flying objects, buried in her work, "Oi, Nami! I have enough for rent, right?"

"Barely," she yells right back over the noisy clamor of the café.

"Perfect!" I beam with a little sparkle and I feel more than see her roll her eyes from where I sit, "She'll get the money sorted out, Mr. Rayleigh."

"How many times do I have to ask you to call me Ray-san?" he asks with an amused smile, "Ah well. Any incidents or repairs I should know about?"

"Nope! I've got my guys to cover me," I say as I flip two crepes over to Iceburg and Franky who yell out a quick 'thanks!' and dig in, "There's nothing that they can't fix!"

"I'm glad. It's nice that someone's taking care of this place after so long," the old man nods and takes his crepe down to see Nami, patting Shanks' shoulder as he passes; the red head grins up at him and briefly claps the older man's arm before turning back to Makino and continuing whatever he was saying. Those two go way, way back, although I'm not entirely sure what their history is.

In fact, I don't think much of anyone knows.

Much like how no one really knows what Luffy does?

Does the kid even have a job? How does he pay for anything if he doesn't have a job? How have I known him for two years and not know this?

Well, it's a mystery. Like I said, these are the types of things that no one seems to know about. Not even Robin.

* * *

 **6:45 pm**

I'm happy! All of my friends stopped in today: Pops, the Amazon Lily women (they quickly left though, because Luffy wasn't here at the time), Mihawk, Smoker and Tashigi, even Kidd made an appearance!

Now, I'm cleaning up and packing up with the help of my friends.

"Rest of the meat goes in the fridge, Usopp, stove and griddles in the closet, Franky, Robin, please put this stool back in the kitchen, Brook, if you could start washing dishes that'd be lovely, Chopper, you can help him," I direct them all from where I sit on top of the counter, next to my handy-dandy phonebooks, swinging my good leg back and forth cheerfully.

"What can I do, May-chan?" Sanji asks.

"If you'd like, you can do a quick sweep of the café. Broom's in the back closet," I nod through the kitchen doors.

"Of course~! Just watch, I'll do it so quickly I'll be a flash!"

"Bet I could do it twice as fast," Zoro mutters quietly.

"Psh, no way a lazy bum like you could. Just stay there and don't get in my way."

"Watch me, asshole!"

The two race each other to the closet and come back with mops and brooms (Zoro has three of each—when did I even get that many brooms and mops?) and start madly cleaning the floor, trying to outdo the other.

I laugh at their ridiculous competition.

"You're in a good mood, May," Nami notes, bringing all the papers to this end of the counter and shuffling them into order.

"Of course! It's the beginning of spring after all."

We glance out the window to see a fine layer of snow on Red Line with more gently falling from the sky.

"Well, I mean, it's _technically_ spring. I guess we'll have to wait until the end of the month for it to actually be Spring in the city though," I amend, but then perk up, "I'll have to do some spring cleaning!"

"May, I'm hungry," Luffy says, hopping up onto the counter next to me with Chou Chou in his arms.

"But we just ate."

"Don't care. Hungry!"

"Aw, Franky put away all the equipment already," I sigh, thinking about what to do; I don't want to make anything else, but we can't have anything but crepes on Crepe Day! That wouldn't do at all! "…There's a crêperie down on Poochi Street, I think it's still open."

"Woo! Let's go!"

"Hm? Are we going somewhere?" Chopper asks through the kitchen window.

"Down to Poochi Street, Lu's still hungry."

"But I don't have a coat, and it's snowing," Usopp says, "You want me to freeze to death?"

"I probably have some spares in the upstairs closet. Toss me one as well, would you?"

"Hey, what is my jacket doing in here?"  
"I've been looking for this pea coat for months!"  
"Ah, I was wondering where my raincoat went."  
"May, why do you have all of our clothes?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I say, slipping into the red and white-striped coat Usopp hands to me that falls down to my ankles.

"Isn't that mine?" Luffy asks, looking suspiciously at it.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Whatever. C'mon, let's go!"

We leave the café all bundled up and Luffy picks me up—"because there might be ice on the ground and then your crutches will slip and then you'll die"—and we trudge to the trolley platform to wait for the Puffing Tom.

Zoro slips a handful of snow down Sanji's back while we wait and it quickly devolves into a full-out snowball fight. We're dusted head to foot with snow when the trolley train pulls up, but we're laughing. And we laugh even harder when Robin pulls a hidden snowball out of her pocket as we speed down Red Line and nails Usopp in the face.

God, I love my friends.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: I'll be only** **answering reviews in this.**

 **AmericaNidiot- Thank you! I'm sorry about the wait, but it makes me so happy to hear that I can bring some cheer to people!**

 **KHR-Yunalesca/Albertasteinthe21stgenius- Yup, May's her own one-person army when it comes to her kitchen, it would be impossible to replace her without some madness ensuing :D**

 **ADDBaby- Oh yeah, the crews are doin' all sortsa illegal stuff. They're not pirates, I was thinking more along the lines of Mafias (particularly with the Yonkos) but groups like Luffy's, Kidd's, Law's, etc. are more of your common everyday misfits that may or may not deal in illegal human organ trafficking and the like every now and then**

 **FSG Guest- Nah, he was just sleepy.**

 **C- Hey, I'm super sorry about the lack of updates, I hope you'll forgive me :c As for the message on tumblr, something must have gone wrong and it got eaten by that stupid non-functioning website, but thank you for your concerns.**

 **meez13rulez- Haha, I actually have something similar planned already for Father's Day! It's a bit of a ways off though, but good idea!**

 **AFangirlLife- HAHAHAHA, yeah, this update is super late in the coming, I'm so sorry. And patience, my friend, patience :3**

 **Archaeological- Ahhh, thank you so, so much! Like I've said in the past, I'm a huge fan of your writing, so it's incredibly flattering to here this from you :) I hope I can continue to entertain in the future**

 **Alright, thank you everyone who waited patiently, I hope you all have a lovely day!**

 **-jj**


	49. Chapter 46: In Which Things Are Classy

**March 2/Wednesday/7:00 am**

I pull a sweater over my cardigan and close up the café behind me. We're all meeting up at the Baratie to wish Sanji a happy birthday; he's turning twenty-two today and we agreed that we're going to storm Baratie and embarrass to hell out of him.

A sharp breeze tugs at my loose yellow sweater with a red star that has stiches running through it—when did I get a Criminal jacket? That brand is expensive, I usually stick to DOSKO1 PANDA, the knock-off of Doskoi Panda because it's dirt cheap and I'm poor.

Ah, it doesn't matter anyway, I'm wearing it and it's warm and that's all I care about. I grip my crutches more firmly and set off, the wind making goose pimples rise on my leg that's exposed to the elements. The other is kept nice and cozy thanks to Skanda.

I shamble my way to the fish-shaped restaurant to find my friends huddled outside of it behind some bushes, with early morning passerbys casting odd glances at them over their shoulders as they walk by.

"May! Good you're here, you're the last to arrive," Nami waves me over in a hushed voice.

Zoro looks critically at me.

"Is that my Criminal sweater that I've been missing."

"So, what's the plan?" I ask, ignoring him.

"Barge in and start yelling 'Happy Birthday'," Luffy says, as if revealing an intricately thought out master plan.

"Cool."

" _May, is that my sweater._ "

"Well, now that we're all here, let's go!" I say, lifting a crutch into the air like it's a sabre and I'm a general leading troops to war.

"Stop ignoring me, damnit!"

"Goooo!"

With a loud cry, we burst through the doors, startling the waiters setting tables for the morning, and see Sanji among them, whom we immediately swarm.

"Gah! What the shi-!?"

"Happy Birthday, Sanji!" we yell and Luffy jumps onto the surprised man with a fierce hug and an explosion of cloth napkins, Nami, Robin, Usopp, Chopper, Franky, and Brook following, and since I'm lagging behind (you can only go so fast on crutches), I'm last to the group hug.

However, one of my crutches slips on a stray napkin Sanji dropped, making me barrel into Zoro (who didn't join the hug, the stupid stick-in-the-mud) and we both end up toppling the group over, me sitting on top of the pile.

"Hahaha, my bad, guys!"

"Get off me, you bastards! Except Nami-san and Robin-chan, you two are fine. And May-chan of course."

"Nope~!"

We remain piled on top of Sanji while he tries to wiggle and struggle his way out from under everyone and the other Baratie staff continues to set up the restaurant around us. However, he finally gets out of our clutches, gasping and wheezing for breath.

"You're all going to be the death of me," he says.

"Death by cuddling, sounds like an awesome way to go!" laughs Franky.

"Geez, you idiots…"

We grin at each other as Sanji covers his face and tries to keep his cool.

"Love you, too!"

"So, so! Sanji, what do you want to do today? We'll do something super special!" Luffy says, practically buzzing with happy energy.

"Well, if I had to request something special, I wouldn't mind being surrounded by Nami-san, Robin-chan, and May-chan in sexy bikinis-,"

"Yeah, not happening," Nami shoots him down instantly.

"In that case, just a nice dinner would be fine."

"Great! And afterwards, let's all get drunk at May's place!"

"When did that become a part of the plan?" I ask.

"It's settled then," Luffy nods, ending the discussion on that.

"Ahh, our little Sanji is becoming a man! Another year under his belt!" Brook smacks his shoulder with a hearty laugh.

"I remember when I was your age," says Luffy thoughtfully, a hand rubbing his chin as he reminisces.

"You're younger than me, you dumbass-"

The lights suddenly go off as Sanji pulls at Luffy's cheek and we're left in darkness.

"Oi! Who turned off the lights?!"

Confused yells and shouts (accompanied by percussive clanging of dropped metal items) pour out of the kitchen and I blink as my eyes adjust to the new lighting.

The door opens and morning sunlight spills into the restaurant, silhouetting a figure.

"Please excuse me! I'm delivering supplies to the Hungry-La, and I accidentally backed into your generator!"

A short man with a large nose stands before us, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

"And how are you going to pay for this?"

The man shrieks as Zeff appears at his elbow, a light under his chin illuminating his face in a scary way. His elaborately braided moustache looks particularly intimidating.

"M-My apologies, sir, of course I'll pay for the damages," he squeaks.

"Aw, this sucks," Chopper says as Zeff continues to frighten the poor guy and get his information, "It looks like you guys won't be able to open until you have the electricity back."

"Shit, I have to go help in the kitchen, we need to keep everything in the fridges cold, and damnit—I'll see you later, thank for stopping by," Sanji hurries through the double doors leading to the back.

Having nothing else to do and not wanting to get in the way, the nine of us step out into the biting wind; the Big-Nose Guy is leaving ahead of us, answering a call.

"Hello? Oh, Boss! Yeah, I ran the generator right over, just like you asked. These guys won't be able to do anything until they get power, and that'll be a couple hours at least. I made sure to discreetly put up some flyers for Hungry-La around the place, too."

We share a look; he hasn't realized that we've heard him.

"Yeah, they'll soon know who the _real_ top dogs in Grand Line are. This Baratie place hasn't got anything on Hungry-La Gourmet Restaurant. Yes, I'll be over soon."

He hangs up and goes on, whistling happily.

I can tell by the look on everyone's faces that we're all thinking the same thing:

 _Those Hungry-La jerks are going down._

"May, it sounds like a high class restaurant, the kind that needs reservations," Nami says as soon as Big-Nose is out of sight, "Can you get us in?"

"Yeah. I think I know how to get us a table. How many?"

"All of us, of course," Luffy says firmly.

"Right. I'll text you guys details when I get an answer back. Until then."

We all nod seriously to each other and go our separate ways.

"Wait, May, give me back my sweater!"

* * *

 **10:00 am**

"So, you got a reservation?" I ask, mixing frosting for Sanji's birthday cake and using my shoulder to keep the phone up to my ear.

"Yes, for six o'clock, under my name. I told them you're my guests of honor, but I'm busy so I won't be able to make it."

"Thank you, Iceburg, you are awesome," I smile even though he can't see it over the phone.

"Anything for my friends. I suppose being the Director of the Chamber of Commerce can come in handy sometimes even though it's such a pain."

"This isn't going to affect your position, is it? Showing favoritism or something like that?"

"Nma, even if it does, I'll pull some excuse out of my ass like how businesses that intentionally harbor negative relations and competition will be handled accordingly. And if that doesn't work, I'll just say that I felt like it."

"Still, you're incredible," I praise him, "What did you say the waiting list was to even get on the reservation list again?"

"Six months."

I whistle lowly.

"Sounds super pretentious."

"Yes, I've never cared for such places. Make sure to give them hell for being rude to Sanji-kun and Zeff-san."

"You got it. Tell everyone I say hi!"

"Sure. Everyone! May-san says 'hi'!"

" _Hi, May!_ "

I hang up with a smile at the shouts of the Galley-La workers and send out a text to my friends.

' _Six o'clock, meet at the café at three so we can get ready.'_

My phone buzzes quickly with affirmations from my friends and I smile, already anticipating the chaos we're going to wreck.

Those idiots don't stand a chance against us.

* * *

 **2:45 pm**

"And so, I jumped out the window, because _obviously_ that's the only logical thing to do, and that's how I got Hufa Weituo Zuntian Pusa, and hey, you should sign him-"

I cut off from my recounting of my hospital visit to Mihawk when the door opens and the bell jingles; he sits with me at Nester, with his newspaper and coffee.

Well, it's more like he sat down and I then hobbled over to bug him with my company. Hey, it's been a while since we've sat down and chatted, and of course he needs to know about how my life has been recently. Unfortunately, he remains mum about his own day-to-day life that goes on outside of my café. But, we're working on it.

 _Anyway_ , the bell rings and Nami walks in with Zoro toting a large suitcase and several other smaller bags in his arms trailing behind her, their faces reading all business. Well, I'm going to assume that Zoro's face is serious too, I can't see it because the bags are blocking his face.

"Ah, sorry Mihawk, I'm going to have to close up early today," I say, getting up to catch the to-go cup Nami tosses to me and handing it over for him to pour his coffee into it, "But, definitely come back soon and sign Skanda."

"Skanda?"

"Yes, it's short for Hufa Weituo Zuntian Pusa."

"What."

"Enjoy the rest of your day!"

Zoro sets down all the bags on Quintin with a puff of effort; my table creaks under the weight.

"Alright, I have everything for everyone. I looked into it a bit more, and it's definitely a 'black tie optional' kind of place. Vivi's hooked us up with her chauffeur, so we'll be taking a limo there."

"Cool! So, what you got in there?" I ask, peeking into the bags curiously.

"Suits, ties, bow ties, dresses, bling, dress shoes and stilettos, the whole package," Nami lists off.

"Oh, but Nami, a dress with crutches and Skanda will look tacky. And I can't wear just one high heel, that'd be silly."

She laughs.

"Why do you think it's called 'black tie optional'? You're not wearing a dress tonight. Your comfort comes first to fashion. But don't worry, you won't be entirely informal," she pulls out some pieces of fabric and shakes them out to show me.

"They're perfect," I tell her seriously.

"What do I have?" Zoro asks, rooting around in the giant suitcase.

"Here," she throws a white shirt at him and a black tie, along with pants and shoes.

It's not long before the rest of my friends arrive and Nami picks out each of their outfits to wear out of the suitcase. And of course, they add their own personal flares.

"Zoro, you're going to wear that thing over your shirt still?"

"What? It keeps me warm."

"Zoro, you look like an occhan with your belly warmer."

"Piss off."

"Robin, let me do your make-up? Please?"

"If you'd like, Nami."

"Brook, you look awesome!"

"Thank you kindly, Luffy-san. I know that it is black tie, but I simply don't feel like myself without a cravat and a bit of color, yohohoho! Robin-san, I have an extra feather boa if you'd like to use it."

When we're ready to move out, we look like an impressive bunch: Luffy has a suit on (the pants legs are rolled up and he's wearing sandals and, of course, his straw hat), Zoro wears simply a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled to his elbows and an untied tie hanging loosely around his neck (and his green haramaki around his waist), Nami is in an elegant floor length gown with a large slit up the side and a bow in the back, Robin as well wears a black dress with a fluffy blue feather boa, Usopp wears a white-collared shirt, black bowtie, and suspenders, Franky a black Hawaiian shirt with muted gold palm leaves decorating it (…and a black Speedo…and black thigh high socks), Chopper is the only one wearing a proper suit complete with vest and tie, Brook has his usual black suit jacket and a loud orange-yellow boa, and I'm wearing a black T-shirt with a tuxedo pattern printed on the front and a pair of black booty shorts with the words 'Classy As Fuck' on them. Like I said, Nami picked the perfect outfit for me. She also threw in a thigh high sock for my non-Skanda-covered leg to keep it warm since it's chilly outside.

She's so thoughtful.

"Yosh! Now to get Sanji and ruin those bastards!"

I start for the door after Luffy who's leading the group, but Franky easily picks me up and settles me into the crook of his arm.

"I can get around perfectly fine by myself," I protest.

"Sorry sister, if we need to make a quick getaway, it'll be faster to carry you," he grins down at me and I huff but get myself comfortable; might as well, right?

"At least grab my crutches so I'm not _totally_ a sitting duck."

* * *

 **5:45 pm**

"Where are we going?" Sanji asks as we get into the limo; Mr. Pell is in the driver's seat because he insisted on personally driving 'Vivi-sama's precious friends'.

We're back at the Baratie to pick him up and go to Hungry-La. Zeff and the rest of the chefs had to make Sanji leave, telling him to 'get out and enjoy your damn birthday, you shitty brat, so help me I will have you on prep work for a week'. If there's one thing that can be said about Sanji, he is very dedicated to his work.

"It's a mystery!"

"No, Luffy, don't you mean it's a surprise?" Chopper corrects him.

"It's a mystery surprise!"

"It must be fancy if even the marimo dressed up."

"Oi, you wanna go, shit-cook?"

"Although I wish May-chan could have worn a dress," Sanji ignores Zoro to lament my wardrobe.

"Give me a break, I have a broken leg."

"Yes, I'm sorry that you have to go through such pain. You look wonderful regardless, May-chan."

"Aw, thanks."

Mr. Pell pulls up to a tall high-rise building and Sanji makes to get out, but Nami holds his arm to stop him.

"Wait, Sanji-kun, you need to know something before we go in."

"What is it?"

"These are the people responsible for the generator being destroyed this morning," Robin informs him, "It wasn't an accident, it was planned. They're trying to run Baratie out of business."

"Are you kidding me?! I thought something was up today. Those birds that came down and attacked people trying to enter the restaurant, they seemed a little _too_ well organized, and then there were those weird koala-things that swarmed in as well. Those bastards, I'll kill them!"

"Why do you think we're here?" Luffy says, picking his nose carelessly, making Sanji pull up short mid-rant.

"Y-You guys brought me here for revenge?"

"Hell yeah!" Usopp cheers and we add in our own encouragements.

"Okay, so what's the plan then?" Aww, he looks so touched.

"Crush them from the inside," Zoro tells him shortly.

Sanji looks up at the big, fancy-looking building. He looks back at us.

"Do any of you even know the difference between a salad and dinner fork?"

"Nope!" we all cheerfully intone.

"Perfect. Oh, I'm so going to enjoy this. Let's go make some miserable assholes pay for fucking with my restaurant."

"Woo!"

* * *

 **6:10 pm**

"Good evening, how may I help you?"

The maître d' greets us at the top floor of this ridiculously tall building.

"We have reservation under the name 'Iceburg'," Robin steps up to the podium, a calm, charming smile in place.

"Ah, of course, Mr. Iceburg's guests of honor. Please follow me, the dining room is up these stairs."

"Excuse me," Chopper speaks up, "We have a handicapped person in our party, do you have an elevator that she could take?"

"Er, I'm afraid the lift does not go further, sir."

"Well, then how do you expect her to get upstairs?" Zoro growls impatiently.

"Uh, well, ehm, we can, uh, carry the lady up, if you'd like," the man stutters nervously; he's either never had to deal with this kind of situation before (which is silly, because this is the kind of place that old decrepit mothballs with jewels dripping from their pockets come, and there has to be some wheel-chair-bound persons among them) or he is very new to this (which in that case, I almost feel sorry for him. Almost).

"Great, I'll leave it to you, pal," Franky says sunnily and plops me into the unsuspecting man's arms and he fumbles to keep a hold on me; I beam at him as he eyes Franky's bulging muscles, probably thinking that my friend could easily carry me up the staircase. Well, I mean, he wouldn't be wrong, but that doesn't matter.

"I'm in your care."

"Well, where are we sitting? I'm hungry," Luffy bounces up ahead, eager to begin dinner.

"Yes, please follow me-ah! Wait, don't go ahead please!"

We pass several exotic and fierce-looking birds in gilded cages as the maître d' leads (meaning here: struggles to carry me up the stairs while my friends have to pause every few steps to wait for us, encouraging him occasionally by calling out things like 'Ganbatte!', 'Almost there!', and 'What a weakling.'; just your typical encouraging phrases, really) until we finally make it to the top and he places me at a pristinely white cloth-covered table, puffing and huffing up a storm as well as supplying the rain in the form of sweat.

"Ew, you look gross," Luffy states ever-so-tactfully, "You must be really weak if that little walk left you in this bad of a shape."

"The servers," he wheezes, "Will be-," Insert rattling, desperate gasp for air here, "-With you shortly."

"Take it easy, man," Franky slaps his shoulder good-naturedly as he leaves, sending him tripping away, performing some kind of complicated footwork to regain his balance.

"Alright. Everyone. Do your thing," Luffy orders as soon as he's gone.

* * *

 **8:00 pm**

An hour and a half, three bottles of Hungry-La's finest wines (two of them were shared by the group, the third one was consumed entirely by Zoro straight from the bottle to the servers' horror), four courses (actually, it turned out to be more like twenty; again, the staff watched on in horror as Luffy worked his way through eating the entire kitchen clean), a minor and completely mysterious grease fire in the kitchens (how it began, no one knows, and I especially don't, not at all), and several creeped out/frightened/traumatized guests that fled the restaurant later, the waiters finally decided that they could no longer deal with us and called in their boss.

A large, buff, blue-haired man stands by our table, waiting for one of us to acknowledge him. When no one does and we just keep eating, he decides to press on.

"Good evening," he says, pleasantly, "My name is Toriko, I am the owner of this restaurant. It's been brought to my attention that you've been a thorn in my wait staffs sides tonight."

"Nice," Luffy holds up his hand for a high-five, in the middle of tearing meat off a bone with his teeth, and I return it from across the table (loudly) as I munch on a Cotton Candy Mushroom, "That means we did a good job!"

"I would like to ask you to leave," he says, smiling forcefully.

"And I'd like to ask you to stop messing with Baratie," Sanji fires back at him, leisurely lighting a cigarette and kicking his feet onto the table.

"Oh, is _that_ why you're here? I didn't think normal people could be as atrociously behaved as you lot unless it was on purpose," he scoffs, "Anyway, you don't have to worry about that third-rate restaurant. It'll close down soon enough when people realize that _Hungry-La_ is the best in the city. Do you know how annoying it is to hear people go on and on about your shitty little place? How much praise I've heard about the stupid fish-shape building that wouldn't know class if it was hooked in its gullet and being pulled in by it? I was so tempted to have it burned to the ground, but you have to be subtle about these kinds of things-"

"Have you tried this bird dish? I don't know what it is, but it's pretty good," Nami offers some of her plate to Robin.

"Hm, I prefer the way Sanji-kun prepares meats. They're so much more flavorful."

"Yeah I agree."

"Oi, are you even listening to me?"

"I read an article recently about villain archetypes and how the surefire way to make one boring is to have them monologue," I tell the table at large conversationally, ignoring the man as I toss a Cotton Candy Mushroom at Chopper for him to catch in his mouth and hand what's leftover on my plate to Luffy, who gladly takes it, "Have you guys read anything that's caught your interest lately?"

"Aliens walk among us," Usopp offers seriously—well, as seriously as someone balancing a fork on the end of his nose can.

"Ancient Alabastians shaved their eyebrows to mourn the loss of their pet cats," Robin chips in, stabbing deliberately at the head of the roasted bird on her plate and smiling at Toriko.

"Giraffes have gay sex," says Luffy bluntly.

"Listen here, you little twits! You're done in this city! Finished! I'm going to bury you so that you'll never see the light of day again-!"

Toriko gets cut off by the small _cli-click!_ of handcuffs latching around his wrist.

"Toriko Hunter, you're under arrest, you have the right to remain silent."

"What the-"

"Smoker! What are you doing here?"

The white-haired officer look surprised to see us sitting at the table for a moment, but then he heaves an irritated sigh and answers.

"We received an anonymous tip that this restaurant is illegally smuggling and keeping rare animals like the Hungrila Bird and cocoalas as well as knock-out koalas," he says, handing off the stunned Mr. Toriko to some other police who take him away, "Round up the others as well, we want everyone involved in this."

"Yes, sir!"

"Look at that, Sanji!" Luffy laughs and pats his shoulder, "This place probably will probably have to close down thanks to this. How lucky!"

"What a good birthday gift," he smirks, exhaling a thin stream of smoke, "I just wanted to be a nuisance to them to pay them back for today, but this is even better."

"Smoker, would you like some cake?" I ask him, reaching for the bag I brought along today; I was going to bring out Sanji's cake at the end of dinner, but now's as good a time as any I think.

"What? Why do you have cake?"

"I make all of my friends' birthday cakes. So, is that a yes or no?"

"Ah, is it time for cake?" Brook asks.

"But we need to sing Happy Birthday before cake, May!" Luffy says.

"Dear god no, please spare me your singing, I don't want to hear that on my birthday-"

"Alright then! One, two, three- _Happy Birthday to you_!"

"Noooo!"


	50. Chapter 47: In Which There Are Dolls

**Author's Corner: Hey guys, I owe you a super big apology. I haven't updated for basically this entire month, and I am so, so sorry about that. I had a pile of things to do, and unfortunately they took priority over my writing. I meant to upload all of the missed chapters at once, but I didn't want to leave you guys with nothing, so here's this for the time being. I wanted to let you know that I do have a break now, and I _will_ be posting all the chapters from this month in the coming days, but thank you so, so much for being patient with me.**

 **But, for now, I have uploaded four new chapters, so make sure to go back and read them (I also answered reviews in them, so make sure you don't miss them!)**

 **As always, thank you so much for reading and stick around!**

 **-jj**

* * *

 **March 3/Thursday/7:00 am**

Ahh, last night was fun.

After Mr. Toriko got arrested and we persuaded (coerced) Smoker into having some birthday cake with us, I noticed that Ace and Marco were among the officers taking the illegal animals out of the building, disguised in police uniforms. I didn't get to call out to them and ask about it though, because Tashigi-san came over to our table then and recognized Zoro and they got into a big argument trying to clear some things up, like how Zoro is not in fact a purse-thief and only looks like it because he has a scary face. We managed to calm everything down though and have some more cake.

And of course, then we came back to my place and got super drunk.

I got a lot of good additions to my Blackmail Folder.

Like I said, fun night.

"Yeah, so those cocoalas are really rare," Ace tells me as he, Luffy, and Nami sit at the counter eating breakfast this morning and I arrange two little old, handmade cloth dolls of an emperor and empress in the window, "They're fairly well tempered and you can't eat their meat, but they grow high quality cocoa beans on their back. But, when they mature into knock-out koalas, they can became really fierce and dangerous if you don't know how to handle them, and that's why they're illegal."

"So why were you and Marco collecting them last night?"

"Don't worry about it."

"Oh."

I glance up as the bell above the door rings and seconds later Luffy gets tackled right out of his seat.

"Luffy! It's been so long, my love!"

"What the-Eh? Hammock? What are you doing here?"

"Oh, please excuse me," the beautiful lady jumps off of Luffy, blushing, "It's just been too long since we've met, I forgot myself for a moment and became too bold."

"That's for damn sure," Ace mumbles into his coffee mug.

"Hi, Mari-san!" I wave happily to Hancock's younger sister who also stepped through the door.

"Good morning," she says, hefting a stack of papers onto the counter and I teeter my way over to see what it is, "Look Lily-san, the magazines are out for our swimsuit collection and I thought you'd like to view them."

"Oo, let's see, let's see!" Nami says excitedly, grabbing one off the top, "I want to see what my investment looks like. I expect that ten percent, by the way."

"Of course."

Nami flips through the first couple of pages until she stops on one. Ace peeks over her shoulder and whistles.

"Damn May, you make a good model."

Nami coughs daintily and tucks the magazine into her bra.

"I'll be keeping this, thanks."

"I'll take two," Ace says, reaching for the stack of magazines.

Marigold slaps his hand away.

"No! Not for you. Anyway, Lily-san, Elder Nyon wanted me to ask you if you'd like to come back. This issue has only been out for two days and its sales have been incredible."

"I've already been in contact with her," Nami says distractedly as she tries to keep Ace from snatching the magazine in her bra, "She'll be coming back as soon as her leg is healed."

"Nami?! When did you-?!"

"Wonderful!" Marigold claps her hands briskly, "We look forward to working with you again."

"Now wait just a moment here, Nami-"

"May looks forward to it, too."

"Come on, nee-sama, we should be going. We just stopped by to show you the magazines. Have a nice day," Marigold pulls her sister away from fawning over Luffy and starts for the door.

"At least have some coffee before you go! And Nami, we are having words."

"Oh, look at the time, I have to go. Right now."

"Wait, Nami, I want that magazine, get back here!" Ace calls after her as she escapes and follows her out.

* * *

 **11:15 am**

The door opens as I finish putting some hishimochi in the display case and Zoro walks in, accompanied by a young girl in a kimono, and Kokoro-san and Chimney are behind them.

"Zoro! What are you doing here?"

He points at the young girl without explaining any further.

"Hello!" she chirps, bouncing up to the counter happily, "My name is Rika! Zoro-sensei is taking me to hina nagashi for today."

"She's a kid from the dojo. Her mum's busy, so she asked me if I could watch her."

"For Hinamatsuri? That's so sweet of you," I grin at him.

"Tch, whatever."

"Zoro-sensei is really funny! He kept getting turned around until we found the trolley and met Miss Kokoro and Chimney-chan."

"Oi, shut your mouth, brat."

Rika just giggles as Zoro pinches her cheek.

"Hi, Miss Lily! Do you like my yukata?" the young blond girl hops onto a stool with her cat-rabbit next to her, holding up her arms to show the pattern on the flowing sleeves to me: blue and yellow stripes with billowing clouds dotting it.

"Very pretty! Are you and your grandma on your way to the hina nagashi as well?"

"Yup! But, we wanted to stop here first and see if you had mochi today."

"And shirozake," Kokoro laughs.

"Just the mochi," I tell her firmly, "What kind would you like, sakura or hishimochi?"

"Both, please!"

* * *

 **3:00 pm**

It's been a nice day. There's been a lot of families coming in on their way to hina nagashi to let paper dolls float into the sea, and the little girls looked so cute, all dressed up in their brightly colored kimonos and yukatas. Ace even came in with Moda for lunch a while ago (since her parents are busy at G-1, he was nice enough to take her), where I made us some chirashizushi. They asked me to come with them, but I have a café to run.

Business has slowed down for now, so I'm standing at the counter, filling out my puzzles.

The door slams open to reveal Izo and I squeak in surprise.

I drop my Sudoku book and pen and scramble to grab my crutches and make it as far as the kitchen door in my haste to get away from him, because he has _that look_ burning in his eyes.

Yes, _that look_.

"May, the peach blossoms are blooming and we're having a little blossom-viewing party at my home. I have the _perfect_ kimono for you to wear!"

Yup, that's the look. The 'you-are-about-to-become-my-personal-life-size-dress-up-doll-and-there's-nothing-you-can-do-about-it' look.

That look.

But, as I said previously, I only make it to the kitchen, tottering along with all the blazing speed of a champion racing turtle, when Izo catches me, picks me up with one graceful sweep of his arms and is on his way.

I resign myself to being carted off because really, when Izo gets like this, there's no stopping it. Izo situates me into his car, where I'm greeted by Nami and Robin who are lounging casually in the backseat while Makino occupies the front.

"Ah, you three got roped in as well?"

"Yup."

"I'm not complaining," Nami shrugs, "Who doesn't like dressing up every once in a while?"

"People who have café's to run," I grumble, halfheartedly tugging at the door handle; the safety locks on, so there's no escaping, "The flowers'll still be there after six o'clock."

"Unless they've shriveled up and died already in this cold weather," Robin interposes.

"Thanks, Robin. Real helpful."

She nods graciously and I slump against my seat, leaning on her shoulder.

"Maybe we could invite Rika, Moda, and Chimney. I'm sure they'd love to see the flowers," I say, trying to make the best of the situation; Robin pats my head soothingly.

"What a wonderful idea! Moda-chan is always welcome at my home and I'm sure the other two will be more than welcome," he gushes as we drive down Grand Line, "Good thinking, May."

It's not long before we arrive at his home in the middle of the forest in the middle of the city and he ushers us inside (not forgetting to take of our shoes at the entrance though).

"-And everyone's coming over as well, but they won't be arriving until six."

"Tell someone to pick up all of the mochi at the café and bring it over. I don't want it to go to waste. Preferably Jozu or Thatch, I trust them to handle it," I direct to Makino, who's closest to my pants which have my phone in the pocket as I stand in my undergarments and allow Izo to drape a beautiful red kimono over me.

"Izo, Izo, check out this wonderful thing I acquired," I hear Nami say and some paper rustles behind me where I can't see.

"Is this May?! Oh my little baby girl, look at her being all mature! When did you start modeling, May?"

I spin around and see that dreaded magazine in Nami's and Izo's hands and blush.

"Nami, put that thing away!"

"Do you have any more?" Izo asks her, flipping through the rest of the pages quickly, "I want ten copies!"

"Oh my god, you people are the worst!"

"But you look lovely, May!" Makino says, peering over Nami's other shoulder.

"I thought you didn't have a problem with it, May. Can't we appreciate your looks?" Nami asks.

"It's one thing to do it, it's another to actually see the results and watch people's reactions. It's embarrassing, y'know?" I sigh as Izo places a hand on my shoulder to turn me around and continue dressing me, "And I'm still upset that you set up another shoot without my permission. At least tell me before you do something like that."

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Here, Robin, want to have a look?"

"I've already seen it."

"Wow, that was fast."

"What do you expect? Robin knows everything."

* * *

 **6:15 pm**

"Stupid broken leg, stupid kimono, stupid crutches…"

I mumble moodily to myself as I sit outside of Izo's room. I can't walk because using my crutches will mess up the kimono Izo carefully dressed me in, and Nami, Robin and Makino are all busy so they can't carry me outside, and Izo is getting ready, so I'm stuck outside his room, mumbling about how everything is stupid.

Which it is.

"Well, don't you look happy."

I look up from my grumpy musings (which were starting to create a dark and gloomy air around me) to see Ace and Moda grinning down at me.

I pout, crossing my arms with some difficulty because of the long flowing sleeves.

"Everything's stupid and I can't walk."

"You look so pretty, Lily-san!" Moda kneels next to me, picking up my sleeve and rubbing it gently between her fingers, "Like a real magical flower hime-sama!"

I smile at the young girl and give her a hug.

"Thank you! You look cute as well."

"Where's Izo?" Ace asks, glancing around, only seeing Nami, Robin, and Makino, "He told me to be here by six."

The words have barely left his mouth when the door next to me slides open with a _bang!_ and Ace gets yanked into the room by the strings of his hat.

"Geez! I told you to at least wear a yukata!" we hear Izo scold Ace from inside, "Good thing I have extras."

Moda and I stare at the closed door before looking back to each other. I reach for my crutches and make to get up.

"Quick, while Izo's distracted!" I whisper, "Let's go outside."

"May, if you take one step in that kimono and mess up my hard work, you're dead."

I shiver and quickly set the crutches down as Izo's voice carries through the fusuma; I've seen him mad before, and it's not something I want directed at me.

"Izo-san is scary," Moda says in a small voice.

"Sure is, yoi."

Both of us squeak and look up at Marco who stands above us, a blue yukata with gold flames loosely hanging off him.

"Marco, thank god, please, please take me outside," I tell him, reaching up my arms pleadingly, "I've been sitting here for two and a half hours with nothing to do, at least let me see the flowers I was pulled away from the café for."

"Ah, did Izo go overboard again?"

"Yes. And I do feel very pretty right now, but I'm bored as heck and my butt hurts."

"Alright, alright," he chuckles and slips an arm under my knees and the other supports my back and easily lifts me up.

Moda stares up at us with wonder.

"Hime-sama!"

Marco steps outside with Moda trailing behind us and I take a deep breath of the fresh air scented with flowers and smile as a sense of peace washes over me.

"Here we are, a throne just for hime-sama," Marco jokes as he sets me down on one of the pillows laying underneath the peach trees.

People start arriving in groups and the laughing and talking (and of course, drinking) soon starts up. Ace makes a reappearance, this time wearing a yellow yukata with orange and red flames and one sleeve carelessly shoved off of his shoulder and steals the sakura-mochi I'm eating. I stick my tongue out at him to let him know that I am greatly insulted.

"Hi Miss Lily!"

Chimney and Rika arrive with Zoro and fawn over my kimono and the peach blossoms, while Zoro finds the nearest available booze and joins in the drinking.

"Your kimono is really beautiful Lily-san!" Rika admires, taking a seat next to me; Ace sits on my other side and I'm using him to prop myself up with my legs spread in front of me.

"I want to be just as pretty as you when I grow up," sighs Moda.

"I want to be pretty like Zoro-sensei," Rika says seriously.

We all look over at the green-haired man drinking heavily with Vista and Haruta.

"He certainly is pretty, isn't he?" I grin at Rika and she nods enthusiastically, sparkles in her eyes.

"The prettiest! I want to be just like him!"

The rice paper doors leading into the house sweep aside and Izo finally comes out. His hair is pulled back into an immaculate bun and he wears a kimono of pale pink with darker shades complimenting it. Everyone watches in a sort of daze as he descends to the garden.

"I think Izo's the prettiest after all," I sigh dreamily.

"Izo! You're looking beautiful today as well!" someone calls.

"Thank you," he smiles, "Everyone, Nee-san called and said she's on her way."

Cheering breaks out and I look curiously around.

"Nee-san?" I ask Ace.

"Whitey Bay nee-san!" he says excitedly, "She's been away in North Blue for the last year to help and observe the animals up there, and she's finally back!"

"She's our most gorgeous and strong nee-san!"  
"She could kill a person with her ice-cold stare!"  
"I would unquestionably and gladly let her destroy me!"  
"I could die happy if she punched me only once!"

"What a formidable lady," I remark; I think I've heard about her from the zoo workers a couple of times, but I've never met her personally. She certainly does sound like an intimidating and awe-inspiring person.

"Of course," he puffs proudly as Izo and Thatch take a seat next to us, "Nee-san is the best!"

"Ah, but having May as a little sister is good, too," Thatch says, "Plus, it's really funny to see all these tough guys bend to you when you use your trump card."

"Trump card? What's that?" asks Chimney.

"The sister card. Not even Marco stands a chance against it. Get a look. Oi, Marco! C'mere a moment!" he waves the man over.

"What, yoi?"

Thatch points at me to direct Marco's attention and he looks down at me, raising an eyebrow to ask what's going on.

"Nii-san!" I say determinedly.

The effect is instantaneous: he quickly covers his face to hide the pink that explodes there and Thatch laughs.

"What the hell was that for?" Marco demands.

"A demonstration of May's ultimate weapon. Effective, isn't it?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," he grumbles, regaining his cool expression.

"Aw, Marco, you're such a softie," Ace chuckles, turning to the younger girls, "You should see that when she does it to Jozu, it's even better because he's usually so stoic."

"Alright, let's stop teasing Marco," Izo says before looking at Chimney and Rika and smiling gracefully at them, stunning the young girls, "Welcome to my home, I hope you enjoy the flowers."

"Yes!"

* * *

 **10:30 pm**

"Wait, no, no, it goes like this over this. Uh, or is the other way around? God, why is this so confusing?!"

It's been a good night. We stayed at Izo's house until ten, enjoying the view of the peach blossoms lit up by strands of lights that hung from the branches, although the girls left early, picked up by their parents to visit the grand hina ningyo doll display at Wano district shrine.

"Make sure to put your own dolls away soon," I reminded each of them before they left, "My mom told me she left them out too long after Hinamatsuri when she was young and that's why she never got married."

"In that case, make sure to put away yours as well, Lily-san!" Moda called back, "So you can get married!"

That caused several outcries from everyone around me.

"No! May's never going to get married!"  
"She's our little sister, we can't give her away lightly!"  
"I'll kill whoever touches our precious May!"

I also met Whitey Bay, who true to what I've heard, is drop dead gorgeous and looks like she could crush you.

In the best way possible, of course.

Robin had to snap Nami and I out of our stupor when our gaping went on too long to be considered polite.

"Wait, but why does Marco call her 'Nee-san', too?" Nami asked, pink still dusting her cheeks in the face of the beautiful woman.

"Obviously because she's older."

"No way! She looks like she could be Robin's age! And Marco's so old! I know he is, because he won't ever tell me his age!"

" _Oi_ , I'm not that old."

Izo told me I could keep the kimono and so when the party was over, Ace carried me home.

However, there was one detail both of us forgot, and that's neither of us know how to take off a kimono properly.

"Can't you—I don't know—just sorta shimmy out of it?" Ace gives up trying to undo the elaborate cloth around my waist.

"Yeah. No, not possible."

Hours later with many phone calls to Izo giving step by step instructions on how to take off the kimono and tangled fabric and breaks for tea in between, we somehow manage to get it off.

" _Finally_! Dear god, what a hassle," I stretch my back, free from the corset-like wrap, not particularly caring that I'm down to a slip and underwear.

"I'm tired just from that ordeal," Ace moans from the bed, having flopped down on it the moment the last layer fell to the floor, "Who knew clothes could be so difficult? And also, I'm hungry now."

"Want to watch some shitty reality TV show and eat junk food?" I offer, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Hell yeah."


	51. Chapter 47-5: AU Within An AU-2

**The AU Within An AU: College AU**

* * *

"Ace, Luffy! Get up, I'm not going to tell you again!" May yells upstairs as she pushes eggs around in a frying pan and adds cheese.

"May, don't be so loud in the morning," Nami groans, bleary eyed and clutching at her coffee mug as she sits down at Quintin.

"Sorry, those two need to get up. They're both going to miss their classes! Zoro, stop sleeping at the table and go wake them up."

"Why me? I'm sleeping," the green-haired college student mumbles with his head buried in his arms.

"Obviously you're not, go wake them up."

"Ugh, fine."

Zoro slouches up the stairs as Law comes down them. He's the oldest one in this shared house, finishing his last year of medical school. Sanji is right behind him, already looked primped and groomed for the day, like always.

"Nami-san, can I get you anything? Some more coffee perhaps, or maybe a mimosa of love?"

"Some more coffee would be great, thanks."

"Ah, I was thanked by Nami-san~! What about you, May-chan? I wouldn't mind making breakfast. I hate to see you toil in the kitchen when you're so busy already."

"I'm fine Sanji," she smacks his hand with the spatula as he tries to take it, "You know we have an agreement: I do breakfast, you make dinner, we're not changing that."

Law goes straight to the coffee pot, pours a cup, and then starts drinking from the pot itself.

"Law! How many times do I have to tell you? Use a bowl or something, but don't drink directly from the carafe!" she snatches the coffee away from him and he looks longingly after it, reaching for it slightly.

"But I need it."

"So do we all. Geez! I'll just pour this into a thermos since you already put your lips on it," she pours the rest of the coffee into a tall thermos for him and hands it over, and then washes the pot and start making another.

There's a series of muffled crashes and heavy-sounding thuds from upstairs, and Zoro arrives at the table, one sleepy Luffy draped over his shoulder, and one sleeping Ace being dragged by the waist of his pajama pants, with Usopp trailing after them, yawning widely.

"Ace, Luffy, food is ready."

"I'm up!"  
"Food!"

They all eat breakfast in a hurry and rush out the door, Nami and Law to their cars, Ace and Luffy to the older brother's motorcycle, Zoro on his bicycle, and Sanji, Usopp, and May on foot.

"Remember, dinner's at six, don't be late!" Sanji calls to everyone.  
"Yeah, yeah, bye!"  
"Stupid curlybrow."  
"Dumbass marimo."  
"See you all tonight!"  
"Try not to fall asleep in class!"  
"Have a good day!"

Everyone takes off, and Sanji offers May his arm.

"Well, May-chan, shall we head over?"

"Yes, we shall," she smiles and loops her arm in his, heading to All Blue, the culinary school they both attend. Usopp walks with them until he has to go his separate way.

A normal start to the morning for the college students.

* * *

May wakes up at three o'clock sharp and trudges into the bathroom. She flips on the light, grabs her toothbrush and runs it under the water and is already halfway through brushing before she looks up and sees Sanji and someone else in the bathroom with her, staring at her in frozen horror. She looks more closely at the other person, having to squint without her glasses to figure out who it is, and sees that it's Gin, an older friend of Sanji's from the East Blue Trade and Tech School that Usopp also goes to that comes around sometimes.

"Mornin'," she says tiredly, not awake enough yet to process that Sanji is sitting on the bathroom counter and Gin is between his legs in a rather…intimate position.

The door opens again and Zoro stumbles in, grabbing up his toothbrush as well in a tired haze.

"Jus' about to go to sleep," he slurs sleepily, also not realizing the situation they're in, "You?"

"Just woke up," she spits the toothpaste into the sink and rinses out her mouth, "Gonna get some baking in before I have to go to class."

The door opens yet again, and Luffy walks in, eyes half-closed and obviously half-asleep. He goes straight to the toilet past Sanji and Gin as they awkwardly stand there and relieves himself without caring that there are others in the room. Not that half of them are awake enough to notice him.

May washes her face as the door opens for the fourth time and a tired Law with bags under his eyes steps into the quickly-becoming-far-too-crowded bathroom. He takes in everything: Luffy, zipping up his pants, the two men still locked in an embrace and blushing in mortification, May only wearing a large T-shirt and no pants, Zoro only wearing pajama pants and no shirt. He just shrugs and elbows Zoro over lightly so he can start brushing his teeth as well. They grunt at each other in lieu of saying good morning, Luffy leaves, probably to go back to sleep, and May pats her face dry.

"Is there no sense of privacy or even decency in this house?" Gin asks Sanji.

He startles when May slaps his back reassuringly.

"Nothing we haven't seen already," she tells him in the spirit of true camaraderie, "There's no boundaries here, we stopped caring about those things long ago."

She tosses her towel over Zoro's head and he gives her the finger silently over his shoulder with his head bent over the sink and she pats Law's tattooed shoulder as she passes, which he gives another grunt in acknowledgement to since his mouth is full of toothpaste.

"But, you probably shouldn't get it on in the only toilet shared by seven people," she says over her shoulder on her way out and heads downstairs.

* * *

"Ugh.

"Uggghhhh."

The drawn-out expression of pain is echoed by six other voices as they all sit on or around the couch, huddled up and surrounded by textbooks, scraps of paper, and furiously scribbled notes. It's the thick of finals season, and they are in the middle of a study session. A very long, painful, several-cups-of-coffee, a-few-emotional-meltdowns-and-counting, how-long-has-it-been-since-we've-seen-the-light-of-day study session.

Five people are squeezed onto the couch: Zoro on one end with Ace's legs thrown over him, Ace and May back-to-back, Law using May's lap as a backrest with his legs kicked over the armrest, and Luffy is perched sprawled out on the back of the couch. Sanji leans on Zoro's legs while he sits on the ground in front of the sofa, Nami right next to him dominating the coffee table with her expanse of notes scattered across the tabletop, and Usopp besides her.

They hardly speak except to ask questions the others might help them with or to mumble under their breath and work a problem out.

"Uh, is Alabasta a democratic or republic country now?" Usopp asks out loud, "Robin-sensei's going to kill me in history if I don't know the difference."

"Republic," Nami says absentmindedly, reviewing both accounting journals and weather charts at once, "Vivi's dad is the current prime minister, remember?"

"Robin's seeing your mechanic teacher, right?" May asks Usopp, "Franky? The blue-haired pervert one?"

"They say they aren't, but they totally are."

Law lifts up the papers in his hands so that May can see them.

"Read that line for me and tell me if I'm so tired my eyes are seeing bullshit or if it actually is bullshit."

"What is this?" she asks in a drained voice, looking up from chemistry notes that she's convinced are written in a Lost Language.

"Have to peer review someone's thesis," he grunts and she grabs his hand and leans over his head to get a better look at the line he points to, pushing her glasses up to her forehead; Ace finds himself leaning back with the loss of May's support, but he goes with it, too mentally tired to do anything else.

"Yeah, I'm no doctor, but that looks like bullshit. As well as a grammatical nightmare."

"Fuck. Law, what do the external oblique muscles do again?" Ace asks, rubbing his forehead furiously.

"Is that for kinesiology?"

"Yup."

"Math is so hard," Luffy groans, balancing a pencil between his lips and nose like a moustache.

"Cheers," they all answer glumly.

"No, don't leave me hanging," the teen whines, "Help meee."

He flops down onto Law from the back of the couch, scattering a whole bunch of papers and causing many outcries.

May buries her face in her hands as her chemistry notes slip and get mixed up with the others.

"No, it's cool. Chemistry is stupid anyway. Who even makes you learn chemistry when you're studying baking?"

"Get off me, Luffy!" Law growls.

"No! My history notes!"

"God damnit, my reports!" Nami yells, elbowing Sanji, who shoves his back into Zoro's legs in surprise, and Ace simultaneously, who ends up kicking Zoro's arm on accident and he in turn drops his papers.

They all collectively slump in defeat at the mess surrounding them.

"…So, who's down for dropping out of school and becoming strippers," May asks.

"I'm down," Ace says immediately, throwing his head back against her shoulder in resignation.

"I've never heard a better idea in my life," Zoro seconds.

"But, wouldn't we need a pimp or something? Isn't that how that works?" Usopp asks, "Who's going to be our pimp?"

"Nami, obviously," states Luffy, obviously.

"Damn straight I am," Nami mutters, futilely trying to sort out the papers.

"Cool, all that's left is to decide on our stripper names," says Sanji.

"I'm thinking Valentino," Law takes off his hat and rubs his fingers through his hair tiredly; May pats his head sympathetically.

"Haha, 'cause of your tattoos?" Luffy asks; he hasn't moved from where he landed on the med student, probably because studying has melted the part of his brain that controls his motor skills.

May sighs again.

"Who needs more coffee?"

A collection of dejected moans of affirmation and sadly raised hands greets her and she shimmies out between Ace and Law to get more coffee set up.

It's going to be a long night.

* * *

May stumbles her way downstairs in a hungover haze. Zoro is the only one up and in the kitchen—oh wait, Sanji's in the living room doing some early morning yoga.

"Fun party last night," she yawns, going straight to the coffee pot, "I didn't know this little house could hold that many people."

Zoro just nods.

"What time is it?"

"Nine," he grunts.

"Aw, I slept in so late."

May is waiting for the coffee when he suddenly jumps up, knocking over his tea.

"Fuck! My dad's visiting today, I completely forgot!"

May cringes and covers her ears.

"Ehh, not so loud Zoro, my head hurts."

"There's no time, _shit_ , we have to clean up, he's not going to be happy if he thinks I'm living in a mess! I barely managed to convince him I'm responsible enough to live away from home, if he sees this wreck, I won't leave home until I'm forty! And then I'd have to deal with Perona, gah!"

May just continues to plug her ears as he goes crashing around the house, trying to clean it in a whirlwind.

"You can throw all the junk in my room," she offers as she pours herself a cup of coffee.

"What the hell-Get out of my house, you bastard!"

"Hmph, what a rude awakening. Don't you love me, Zoro-niisan? I thought I deserved better than this."

She peers curiously over as Zoro kicks out a party guest that apparently spent the night passed out on the couch—it looks like Johnny, one of Zoro's friends.

There's some screaming from upstairs.

 _"_ _Ahh! Bartolomeo, why are you in the bathtub again?!"_

Zoro runs up the stairs with an armful of shoes, jackets, empty vodka bottles, and other odds-and-ends probably about to end up in May's room.

There's a knock on the door and she gets up to answer it.

She just pulls it open to greet the tall man on the other side when the door slams shut and she gets tackled.

"Don't answer the door like that, you dumbass!" Zoro whisper-yells at her.

"What?" she huffs, "What's the problem?"

"You're only wearing a bra and shorts, _that's my dad, what do you think he's going to think?_ Go put on a shirt at least!"

He pushes her into the hallway and opens the door.

"Hello, father, welcome to my home. Sorry about that."

"Who was the half-naked girl just at the door?"

"One of my housemates. She's, uh, she's doing some yoga, and that's her exercise outfit."

"Really."

May grumbles and picks up an extra shirt that Zoro missed that's tossed over the couch—she thinks it's one of Nami's—and pulls the bright neon pink shirt over her head.

"Nice shirt, May," Ace yawns as he tumbles into the room.

She looks down to read the shirt upside down: 'Fuck Bitches, Get Money."

"Definitely Nami's shirt," she confirms, following Ace to the kitchen where he's decided to use Quintin as a bed and is sprawled out on the surface; she takes a seat and picks up her coffee again as Zoro and his dad walk in.

The green-haired student grinds his palm into his forehead at the sight of his friends and his father raises an angular eyebrow.

"Ace, off the table," May tells him quietly into her coffee mug.

The twenty-two year old rolls off Quintin and onto her lap with a tired groan; she catches him absentmindedly and looks up at Zoro's father.

"Morning, sir," she says with a sleepy but pleasant smile, "Zoro didn't tell us you were coming. There's some coffee in the pot if you'd like, and I'll be making breakfast once everyone gets up."

"Hello," he nods formally; he does seem like a strict, no-nonsense kind of man in a crisp white collared shirt and black suit, "I am Dracule Mihawk, Zoro's father."

"May, Lily E. May," she nods.

"Ace," said man raises a lazy hand, stealing May's coffee with his other.

He chokes on it when he sees a shirtless Eustass Kidd jog downstairs, looking like he was attacked by an animal.

"The hell you doing here, Red?"

The tall, muscular red head just grunts and helps himself to coffee.

Law slips into the room in a similar state as Kidd—shirtless with many angry red scratch marks and marks from…other things littering his tattooed body— with the air of a man trying as hard as he can to avoid attention.

"Yeah, Torao, get some," whistles May; he shoots her a glare.

"I was drunk last night," he says flatly.

"And yet you just told me five minutes ago that you don't get drunk," Kidd smirks over the top of his mug.

"Fuck you."

"You already did."

Zoro seems to be testing if humans can materialize through walls and disappear from existence. So far, he has proven that they cannot.

Nami and her girlfriend Vivi come down the stairs, holding hands and yawning.

"Why are there so many half-naked men in the kitchen this morning?" the blue-haired girl asks, glancing at Ace, Law, and Kidd as the last one casually throws an arm over the second's shoulder and the second jabs him in the side. Forcefully.

"Isn't it a great way to start the day?" Ace responds, also taking in the glorious display of muscles appreciatively.

"Nice shirt, May," Nami comments as she takes a seat, pulling Vivi lazily into her lap, and Sanji immediately brings coffee over to them.

"You too," she grins at the DOSKO1 PANDA shirt Nami wears that's definitely May's; it happens all the time in this house, clothes getting mixed up. It was quite something to see Zoro pull on one of Nami's crop tops last week when he was still half-asleep and go to the gym in it.

Someone crashes to the ground outside of the kitchen window from upstairs; the people around the table only spare them a glance and quickly forget about whoever it is when Luffy and Usopp come downstairs, bringing all the house's residents together.

"Bartolomeo was being a creeper again. Luffy took care of it, so don't worry," Usopp offers as explanation, taking a seat at Quintin while Luffy flops down on top of Ace who is still on top of May.

"So, breakfast?" she asks, standing up and displacing the two on her lap who tumble to the floor, "Oh, and everyone this is Zoro's papa."

"Oh, didn't see you there."

"Hi, Mr. Zoro's Dad!"

"Whoa, now we know why Zoro looks so grumpy all the time."

"Yeah, their scowls are nearly identical! Amazing!"

"And no wonder Zoro's had a receding hairline since he was eighteen, look at his dad!"

Kidd leans his arm on May's shoulder, occasionally stealing pieces of bacon as she puts together a simple breakfast for everyone as they talk and tell Mr. Dracule embarrassing stories about his son.

He leaves after breakfast when everyone wanders off to do their own things and the people who don't live in the shared house go on their ways. May, who's in the kitchen washing dishes, overhears him and Zoro before he departs.

"You have some good friends, Zoro."

"You don't think they're…rude? Or wild, irresponsible college kids that I shouldn't be hanging out with?" he asks hesitantly.

"Son, I went to college with your uncle Shanks. These kids are tame compared to him when he was younger. I trust you to choose the people you associate with, and it seems like you've chosen a worthy group."

May grins to herself as she hears the door close and Zoro comes back into the kitchen.

"So, did you manage to convince him that you're a functioning adult that can take care of himself?" she asks him.

"Somehow. Thanks for…well, not making him think my friends are _complete_ disasters."

She gives him a quick hug.

"Hey, who says we're not? Either way, we've got your back."

* * *

"Yo!"

Everyone in the Ohara public library—the majority of everyone in the library being college students in the middle of studying, including all of share housemates—look up at the girl with pink hair leaning over the balcony, slightly out of breath from running.

"Oikawa Cafeteria is having a 50% off special!"

Now, there is not much in life that will get a college student to move. The apocalypse could very well be happening outside and they would probably stay where they are and think 'Oh thank god, now I don't have to take the test tomorrow' while they're at it.

However.

When it comes to food and you hear the words "50% off", "discount", or "free", you can bet your ass that the students will be the first ones to the scene.

The entire library is cleared out within seconds, the hoard of students racing each other to get there first, and it's not long before the restaurant is overwhelmed with college kids, Luffy right at the front of the line.

Students from all of the surrounding schools crowd around, sitting in every available seat. Luffy and the pink-haired girl that tipped them off about the special sit side-by-side, locked in a contest to see who can eat the most. Another pink-haired girl with a beauty mark under her eye sits down next to Nami without invitation and starts up a conversation.

"Oh, you study philosophy?" Nami rests her chin on her fist and tilts her head to the side, smiling softly, but it screams 'Fight me', "Come talk to me when you get into the physical sciences. The _real_ sciences."

 _"_ _Excuse_ me?!"

"Oh, don't be such a liberal arts major about it."

"Fuck you, bitch!"

"Muret, you should fight with that redhead chick, it'd be hot," some douche-bag looking guy walks up and wraps his arm around the pink-girl's shoulder.

"Bellamy, tell this bitch what's what," 'Muret' sniffs, "She doesn't think social sciences are serious business."

"Because they're not," Nami says haughtily, "You should do something more useful, like accounting or meteorology."

"Shut up, you're probably a business major!"

"Will you all shut the fuck up, I'm trying to eat here," Law sends an irritated glare at the two intruders when they jostle his arm as he brings his chopsticks to his mouth, Rose Squid Ink Pasta slipping down back to his plate, "Also, you're gross if you think cat-fights are attractive."

"And who are you, huh?" scoffs Bellamy, "A woman's studies major?"

"Medical student, I have PhD, bitch," Law says hostilely, "What do you do?"

"But Law," May whispers to him on his other side, leaning on his shoulder, "You don't have a PhD yet, you haven't finished school."

"They don't need to know that," he quickly replies in a low voice.

"Psh, big whoop. A fancy degree don't mean shit when you're a little wuss. I have an athletic scholarship."

From the way he said it, he obviously meant it to be impressive, but Luffy overhears and immediately bursts out laughing.

Loudly.

"Hahahaha, an athletic scholarship?! Even Zoro's not that stupid!"

" _You wanna go?!_ "

" _Shishishi, bring it!_ "

May lifts up her bowl of Dress Shrimp Paella out of the way as Bellamy lunges over the table at Luffy, who meets him readily and with a smile even, the cheeky little monkey. Soon, the entire restaurant is full of brawling people.

She smacks away a stray student with her heavy textbook and continues to eat her meal.

"Is this what you call school rivalry?" Nami asks saving her drink from a person that lands on the table.

"Nah, this is full out battle of the majors," replies Law, nonchalantly shoving his chopsticks up someone's nose to push them away aggressively.

"Kick his ass Luffy!" May cheers, before leaning onto Law to avoid Bellamy, who's sent flying, and she laughs, "How lively! Who would think college would be this fun!"

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Happy Easter, this is all I have time for, but I hope you enjoy it! (Fuckboi Bellamy returns with a vengeance)**

 **Thanks for reading! (I'll answer reviews next time)**

 **-jj**


	52. Chapter 48: In Which Things Are Foxy

**March 5/Saturday/7:30 am**

I was halfway down the stairs this morning when something—someone—tripped bodily over me.

"Ow, what the hell?!"  
"Motherfu—!"  
"Law?!"  
"May-ya."

I pulled out my phone and turned on the light. One Trafalgar Law blinked in the brightness before picking himself off of me and settling on the step below.

"The hell are you doing in my home?"

"The hell are you doing sitting in the middle of the staircase?"

"Obviously, I'm going down them."

"I was going to wake you up for coffee."

"Oh."

We sat there awkwardly for a few passing seconds.

"How's the leg?" he finally asked.

"Skanda's fine."

"Skanda?"

"Formally known as Hufa Weituo Zuntian Pusa."

I had to laugh at the perplexed look on his face, made even more dramatic by my phone's terrible lighting and pulled my crutches down to me from where they rested on a higher step.

"If you carry me down the stairs, you'll get your coffee a lot faster."

"If you don't throw yourself off second stories, you'll have a greater chance of not breaking your leg."

"Are you _still_ bitter about this whole thing?"

"No," he said, bitterly, but picks me up anyway.

I suppressed a giggle at the grumpy doctor and his odd way of showing he cares and settled for petting his furry hat.

"Thank you for taking care of me," I told him brightly.

"Whatever."

That was at three o'clock this morning, and now I sit at the counter, enjoying my twenty-first cup of tea of the day. A few people have stepped in this morning, including Laki, whom I haven't seen in a while, and her younger cousin, Aisa. I had a good time catching up with Laki, although her cousin was a bit of a brat, but hey, kids will be kids so I can forgive it sometimes.

Anyway, I'm hoping that today will be nice and quiet so that I can get back into the swing of things and get on with life.

* * *

 **12:15 am**

"Huh."

I glance around at the people on either side of me. I glance at the heavy chains around my wrists weighted down by large, paw-like anchors. And I glance at the Tengu-looking character in front of me with hair styled into the stupidest up-do I've ever seen.

"Sooo…why am I here?"

"To lure out your leader!" Tengu-san (that's my name for him) laughs, "The Strawhat gang has risen to infamy these past two years, and I thought it was high time that the Foxy gang issued a formal challenge. But! There's no point explaining now, when I'll just have to repeat myself when your boss gets here."

"…What are you talking about, Tengu-san?"

"Tengu-san?! That's not my name! I am the great Foxy, where in the world are you getting Tengu-san from?!"

"Nose."

"Nose?"

"Nose. You have a Tengu Nose."

Tengu-san seems to physically get hit in the face with a wave of depression and the people surrounding him (all wearing odd mask-hat combinations that look like they were created in Tengu-san's hair's image) rush to comfort him. Wait, those mask-hat things look vaguely familiar.

" _Ah! She insulted Boss!"  
"She probably didn't mean it as an insult! You have a lovely nose, sir!"  
"Yes, a very big one!"  
"Shut up, you moron, you just made him more upset!"_

' _Ah whatever, I'm too crabby right now to remember where I've seen these people before_ ,' I think as I glance around again in a sort of detached way.

So, you're probably wondering what is going on.

Well, so am I, but the condensed version is this: I was minding my own business, playing Sudoku and drinking my tea at the café when all of a sudden these schmucks in mask-hats kicked down the door (which I'll need to have Franky fix…I mentally give a long and drawn out groan) and some stuff happened and then I was in chains and I don't know, now I'm here with these loonies.

Why can't I just run my café? I've already been gone long enough what with my hospital visit, and then Ace, Luffy, and mine's adventure, and then when Izo pulled me away. But nooo, apparently everyone wants to get in the way of me and my café and can't leave me alone to do my thing.

I'm so wrapped up in my surly thoughts that I hardly notice the wall exploding and people stepping through the newly-made hole.

"May! Are you alright?!"

"No, no, I'm just fine, don't mind me over here. I'll just sit pretty while my café collects dust and I lose all my customers and then am forced out of the city to grow mushrooms in the forest," I huff, then actually look up at the people who called out to me and see that it's my friends, "…Well, took you long enough."

"See? Told you she's fine," Luffy tells them, pointing at me.

"Geez! At least act like you've been kidnapped!" Zoro yells, "We were worried sick when we saw the note on your door—which is broken, I don't know if you knew that—"

"I knew that. Thank these assholes for that," I jerk a thumb at Tengu-san.  
 _"Wah! She called Boss an asshole and now he's sad!"_

"—And then we get here and find that you're just sulking like it's no big deal!"

"I'm not sulking," I answer moodily, crossing my arms and clearly sulking.

"Wahaha! So, you've made your appearance, Mugiwara!" Tengu-san steps up, having gotten over his latest bout of depression.

"She's totally sulking," my friends all confirm as one.

"I challenge you to a fight!" continues the long-nosed-but-not-Usopp man, "As you see, I have taken hostage one of your gang—"

"I just want to bake and serve coffee, is that too much to ask?!" I passionately cry to my friends.

"Why do you think we're here to get you?!" shouts Luffy right back at me.

"Hey! Stop ignoring me!" Tengu-san yells in outrage, "Aren't you listening?! I challenge you, and you won't be getting your friend back until you agree to it!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever!" Luffy finally answers him, fixing him with a cold glare, "We accept your stupid challenge. We're going to crush you anyway for laying a finger on May."

"Then it's settled! The Foxy vs. Mugiwara Davy Back Challenge starts now!"

* * *

 **1:00 pm**

"No! I don't want to be part of your group!" Chopper cries.

Apparently, the Davy Back Challenge is held between two groups, with the losing side giving up a member of the winner's choice. They've really gone overboard with this event, having a stage, an announcer, concession stands, and even little souvenirs to buy.

Unfortunately, we've just lost the first round, which was a mini-go-kart race that Nami, Usopp, and Robin participated in and lost to the Foxy gang, led by a lady named…Mercedes? Uh, no, maybe it was Maserati? They totally cheated though, so my friends and I are pretty ticked right now; Nami is practically boiling next to me, having suffered the loss first hand.

Agh, anyway, it has come time for them to select their member, and they chose: Chopper.

The poor kid is sobbing and clinging onto Zoro while some of Foxy's gang try to pry him off.

"Chopper! Stop crying!" Zoro orders him sharply, "Do you have so little faith in us that we won't be able to get you back?"

Chopper sniffs, tearfully looking up (actually, he looks down because he's taller than Zoro) at the green-haired man and then with an almighty (and quite disgusting) snort to clear his nose, he straightens up and gains a determined (albeit watery) look.

"No! I believe in you guys!"

"Excellent, excellent! Now, moving on," laughs Tengu-san as Chopper is pulled away and shoved into one of the stupid mask-hats, "Up next: Baseball! There shall be nine players on each team and we will flip a coin to see who bats first!"

One of the Foxy's pulls out a 50 Beri coin.

"Heads or tails?"

"Tails!" Luffy decides.

The man peeks under his hand and quickly slaps his hand down over it.

"Heads! The Foxy gang is up to bat first!"

"Oh yeah? Let me see," demands Nami.

"Are you doubting me? It's heads, I'm seriously telling the truth," he brushes her off rudely and very suspiciously.

"Show me the coin, you cheating bastard, or do you want me to rip your eyes out so you can get a good look at the inside of your a—?!"

"Nami, drop it for now," I tell her, clamping my hand over her mouth.

"Yeah, we'll kick their asses even if they cheat," Luffy says confidentially, "Now that we know how they play, we won't be surprised a second time. And we'll definitely get Chopper back."

"Luffyyyyyyy!" the teen cries, overwhelmed by Luffy's declaration; he has to be held back by…uh, Jaguar, maybe that's her name.

"Splendid!" Tengu-san says, "Now, it's a house rule that the pitcher is chosen by the opposite team. The one who pitches will be that one!"

"What kind of house rule is that?" I ask, turning back to him from trying to contain Nami's rage and notice that a lot of people are looking my direction.

And Tengu-san is pointing right at me.

"…What."

* * *

 **2:05 pm**

"Timeout!"

I hobble my way back to our team's dugout from the pitcher's plate as we gather for the timeout Nami called. This game is not going well: the Foxy's already have nine home runs and it's all my fault. As if it wasn't bad enough that I'm crippled, I make a terrible pitcher and the Foxy's have been hitting nearly every ball I throw.

Even our cool matching uniforms can't help.

Luffy inhales deeply and puts his hands on my shoulders, looking me square in the eye.

"May."

"Yes."

"You suck."

"Ah."

"Like, you really, _really_ suck."

"I know," I deflate with a heavy sigh, "I'm sorry everyone, I'm killing the team here. We're going to lose this whole thing because of me and then we can't be friends anymore and-!"

"No! We're not going to lose!" Luffy cuts me off, a determined glint in his eyes, "We just have to find some way to make you not suck."

"But how?" Sanji asks, "I'm sorry, May-chan, but your hand-eye coordination is even worse than Zoro's sense of direction—" " _Oi._ " "—when you're not throwing phonebooks, and they're easily hitting them with how slow you're pitching."

I don't try to defend myself, because I know it's true. But, Luffy seems to be thinking of something, the gears in his head turning.

"Phonebooks," he says, a spark slowly igniting in his eyes, "That's it! You just have to throw phonebooks, May! This'll solve everything!"

"But Luffy, it's called baseball for a reason. You can't go substituting the baseball for a phonebook all of a sudden," Zoro points out, but the teen isn't listening.

He's off bounding to the basket where the balls are stored, pulling a permanent marker out of nowhere and before any of the Foxy gang notice what my papoose is doing and come running over, yelling at him to get out of there, he's running back to us, grinning triumphantly.

He presents the ball to me, displaying his modification.

On the front, written in scribbled, barely legible Kanji: **電話帳** **.**

 _Phonebook_.

"It's a phonebook, May," he tells me with a wide, confident smile, "You can throw this."

He places the ball in my hand and wraps my fingers around it. I stare at it before meeting his eager gaze with a grin creeping up my face to match his.

It's such a stupid idea, that it might just work.

"Alright, timeout is over, back to your places!"

Brook carries me over to the pitcher's mound before running to take his position. I grip the phonebook-ball tightly and lock my gaze onto the umpire behind the person up to bat while the crowd (comprised of the Foxy gang) cheers.

" _Come on, Hamburg!"  
"Get another home run!_"

I take a deep breath and wind up as best I can with Skanda on my leg.

" _Home run, home run!"  
"We're sure to win if that woman keeps pitching!"_

An unseen force zooms past the batter and slams into the umpire's glove so hard, it tears through it, then through the net, and finally, buries itself into the wall. The stunned umpire stares down stupidly at the slightly smoking hole in his glove and silence fills the stadium.

And then, my friends are cheering.

"Wooo! That's our May!"  
"Superrrrr!"  
"THAT'S RIGHT, YOU ASSHATS! GET FUCKED!"  
"Oh my god, Nami, calm down."

I grin at my friends' enthusiasm as the ball is tossed back to me. I make quick work of it.

" _What?!_ "  
" _How did that happen?!"  
_ " _That weak-looking girl was able to make our best batter strike out?!_ "  
" _She's kinda cute though!"_

"Grr, it makes no difference!" Foxy says, trying to reign in his underlings' panic, "We still won't let them win. You! You'll be the first to go around the bases."

He's pointing at me again.

"What? Since we do you get to decide that?" Franky asks him angrily, "And she clearly can't run, how do you expect this to be fair?!"

"House rules."

"You're house rules are shi—!"

"Calm down, calm down. May can do it," Robin pats his arm and when she looks over to me, she has a confident smile, "However, the ball would need to be hit far enough away that she has time to get around."

She points to Zoro with a wink and I grin, realizing what she's saying.

"Yeah, May, go show 'em how it's done!" encourages Luffy.

"Zoro," I wave him over, "Come here."

"Huh," he replies ever-so-eloquently.

"Just c'mere. And bring your bat. Do you think you can knock a ball out of the park?"

He glances sharply at me, smirking when he catches onto what I'm saying.

"Who do you think I am?"

We give each other a high-five and step up to the plate.

"Wait, why are you both here, you can't be here—," the umpire starts, but I cut him off.

"I am ready!" I announce loudly and assume position.

The pitcher nods and winds up. I clutch my bat tighter in anticipation.

Right before the ball makes it to me, I duck out of the way as Zoro leaps in front of me and with an deafening _CRACK!,_ hits the baseball so hard the bat splinters and the ball is sent flying, far, far beyond where anyone can catch it.

"Yes!" I whoop and pick up my crutches to begin my limp around the bases; there's no hurry with how far away Zoro hit the ball.

" _Hey, what is this?!"  
"That's cheating!"_

"Like you're ones to talk!" Sanji yells at them.

"It's not cheating!" I call cheerfully as I take first base, my friends whistling and hollering as I slowly make my way, "You only said that I'm the first to run the bases, you didn't say that _I_ have to be the one to bat."

" _Ah, she's right!"  
"Darn it!"_

"Grr, fine! We won't be fooled again!" Tengu-san says, then points to Nami, "You! The next weakest-looking one! You will bat _and_ run the bases next. There, try to find a loophole in that!"

"Oh no~!" Nami wails in despair, "But, I'm not strong at all, there's no way I could do this."

* * *

 **3:00 pm**

" _Oh no! They completely destroyed us at baseball!"  
"Who knew those frail-looking women were so strong?!  
"They're super sexy too~!"  
"Well, maybe not that brown-haired chick, she looks a bit boring."  
"And conservative."  
"Yeah, yeah, that cardigan is so ugly and shapeless."  
"I kinda prefer that green guy, he's hot."  
"Yeah~!"_

" _Anyway,_ we're moving on to the last and final challenge!" announces Tengu-san to move on quickly from their humiliating defeat.

"Last and final mean the same thing," Luffy points out with all the subtlety of a stick of dynamite, "Is he stupid or something?"

"Maybe he meant to say third rather than last," Robin suggests.

"Doesn't that still make him stupid?"  
"Yes."  
"Ah, Robin said it, so it must be true."

"Will you people listen to me?!" Foxy rages, stamping his foot, "I've had it up to here with you looking down on me. Well, with this final challenge, we will see who is best!"

"Now wait a minute!" interrupts Sanji, "We haven't picked someone from your group to join us."

"Ack! I was hoping they would forget! Very well, select the person you want."

We all share a knowing grin and Luffy steps up, already set on who to pick.

"Chopper!" he bellows, "Get back over here!"

"Luffyyyyyyy!" Chopper sprints to our side and promptly crashes into my dumpling in a giant bear hug, "Thank you for not giving up on me!"

"Of course," he puffs, "Now, take that dumb thing off your head, it looks tacky."

"And now!" the announcer says, gaining everyone's attention, "For the challenge you've all been waiting for: a one-on-one between the leaders, Foxy the Silver Fox and Strawhat Luffy!"

"Yohoho, kick his butt, Luffy-san!" Brook cheers.  
"You better not lose!" that's Zoro.  
"If you lose, I'll kill you," annnnd, that's Sanji.

"Hey, do you have any coffee?" I ask one of the vendors; I could use a good cup after all that excitement, and since it doesn't look like I need to do anything for the last part, now seems like a good time to get it.

"May, May!" Chopper calls, running up to me, all smiles for being back with us, "They have some pretty good lemonade here, you should try it!"

However, before he reaches me, he trips and the juice in his hands goes flying…straight at me and covers me head to toe.

"Ewww, I'm all sticky now!"

"I'm so sorry!"

"Kyahaha, what an ungraceful display!" the woman…uhm, BMW I think is her name, laughs, having seen the whole debacle, "I suppose the kind Porche, everyone's loved idol, is feeling gracious enough to lend you a change of clothes."

"Ah, I knew it sounded like some kind of car."  
"What?  
"What? I mean, nothing! That's awfully nice of you. Thanks."

* * *

 **3:45 pm**

"And now that both of our contestants are ready, we can begin!" the announcer says as Luffy and Tengu-san step into the ring, "The rules are simple: everything is allowed and you lose if you are down for more than ten seconds or are kicked out of the ring!"

I step up to join the crowd eagerly standing around to watch, wearing a baggy red jumpsuit courtesy of Porche, the sleeves tied around the waist and a bikini that barely fits, a new cup of coffee in hand.

What? The coffee they were serving was terrible, so I took it upon myself to make a good batch.

" _Oyabin! When you defeat that kid, you should choose May-chan as the prize!"  
"Who knew she was hiding such a hot body under that unflattering sweater!"  
"And her coffee is to die for!"  
"But mostly May-chan's super sexy!"_

"Shut up, you pigs, you don't have the right to call her May-chan!" Nami seethes at them.

"Yeah, yeah, what Nami-san said!" Sanji backs her up.

"Don't worry!" Foxy says, posing (un)impressively for his underlings, "I'll take care of this in thirty seconds!"

The bell rings.

"Fight!"

The crowd cheers and then dies down slowly in confusion.

Foxy is on the ground, out cold, and Luffy is already stripping off the boxing gloves he was given.

"Are we done here? I already missed breakfast and lunch from May, and I want to leave."

" _He beat Boss in one punch?!"  
"He didn't even get a chance to use any of his tricks!"  
"Oyabin, please get up!"_

"Haha, that's ten seconds!" Franky cheers.

"T-The victors are the Strawhats!" the announcer states in awe.

"Thank god, can we please get out of here?" I ask as Nami wraps Robin and me in a tight hug, celebrating our win, only to have Franky lift all of us up.

"Wait!" Porche cries, "You need to choose someone to join you."

"I'm not interested in gaining friends this way," Luffy says simply, sticking his tongue out in distaste as he tosses Foxy out of the ring, for good measure, "We aren't taking anyone."

"Wait!" this time, the cry comes from Tengu-san, who woke up when he hit the ground, "I might have lost the fight, but I'll be keeping one of your members!"

"Dude, you lost, just give it up already," Usopp tells him.

"No! You see," he jabs a finger in my direction, "Those! Those clothes that that woman is wearing! Those are official Foxy merchandise, and therefore belong to us! You didn't pay for them, so they are therefore still my property and therefore you are as well as long as your wearing them."

"What the-That doesn't make any sense!" Nami says, "We're leaving."

"Thieves! I'll call the police! Until she takes off those clothes, she's ours."

" _Oh, they're stuck in a pickle!"  
"No way a conservative girl like that would strip in front of all these people."  
"So, she's stuck with us—_Huh?!"

I throw the stupid jumpsuit in Tengu-san's stupid face and get ready to take off the bikini Porche gave me.

"So, I just have to give you back the clothes? Whatever, I'm done with this and I want to get back to the café. Let's go."

" _May!_ Don't just start _stripping!"_

Zoro, Nami, Chopper, and Usopp yell at me indignantly and Zoro throws his jacket at me to cover up so I can slip out of the bikini.

"Couldn't've said it better. Let's get out of here, May!" Luffy laughs and hops down from the ring, picks me up and together with my friends, walks away from the Foxy gang.

"Well, that was stupid."

"I think we learned a valuable lesson in the power of friendship."

"No, it was just stupid."


	53. Chapter 49: In Which There Are Flowers

**March 6/Sunday/10:00 am**

I don't have anyone to help me today, so I'm moving much slower in the kitchen and still have three more sheets of cookies to put into the ovens still by the time seven rolls around, even though I woke up at my usual time.

Maybe the shopping trip to the Buggy's and getting caught up in the Mexican standoff happening between the red-nosed man and that oily Higuma (how does he always manage to pop up?) was what set me back…

 _Anyway,_ the bell rings and my hopes that nobody would come in for a while until I finished everything falls.

"Hello there?" the person calls.

"Mr. Dorry!" I call happily when I step through the kitchen doorway and see who it is, "It's been a while, how are you?"

"I am well, Miss May!" the giant of a man booms, coming up to the counter in three large steps and I reach out to give him a hug, which he sweeps me into and gives us a little twirl, "Brogy is in good health as well."

Mr. Dorry and Mr. Brogy are these two extremely tall men (even taller than Oyaji!) that run a florist shop down in Paradise called Little Garden. They're easy-going, friendly people, who may be a tad over-enthusiastic to get into brawls at times, but altogether they're good men.

"That's good to hear. What brings you to this side of Grand Line?"

"Well, we recently got a flood of orders and we only just got all of them prepared for delivery. Bring 'em in, lads!"

"Holy shi—"

I watch in shock as person after person walks into the café, each of their arms overflowing with bouquets, bunches, baskets, and vases of flowers and start setting them down on every surface available.

"What is this?!" I ask Dorry incredulously.

"Get well flowers of course!" he laughs, "It's sort of a tradition to receive flowers when you break a bone or get sick or something."

"That's a stupid tradition if I ever heard one," I say, but I'm grinning at the masses upon masses of petals that cover every inch of the café now; I pull one of the closest bunch of flowers towards me and look at the small note attached to it:

' _Don't get hurt any more. It's not that I care, you just need to take of yourself, you bastard._

 _Love, Chopper'_

"Geez, what a bunch of idiots…" I sigh, covering my face to hide my smile, "What am I even going to do with all these flowers?"

"Gegyagyagya, you have a lot of people that care about you, Miss May," Mr. Dorry pats my shoulder with his sizable hand, which sends me reeling, but I manage to catch myself on a stool.

I take in all of the bright flowers and can't help it as the cheesy grin on my face stretches wider.

"Bunch of idiots…," I echo before I straighten up, "Say, would you like some coffee, Mr. Dorry?"

"I would love some!"

"And how about a slice of white chocolate cheesecake? It _is_ National White Chocolate Cheesecake Day afterall."

"Marvelous! I will take one for Brogy as well."

* * *

 **1:00 pm**

"Hello?"

The bell rings as I stick two sheets of cake into one of the freezers. There are a few birthdays coming up soon and I want to prepare for them beforehand so it's not a mad rush to finish them in time.

Ah, but someone's here right now, so I have to go out and greet them.

"Be right there!"

I come out of the kitchen, shuffling along with my crutches. Today's shorts say 'Work Bitch' on the back—again, courtesy of Nami. I wonder why I have so many of her shorts…?

Whoa.

I stop short in the doorway when I see who is standing at the counter: Whitey Bay, in all her icy-gazed, not-a-perfect-hair-out-of-place glory.

"A-Ah, hello, Bay-san," I greet her nervously; despite knowing that she's Pops' daughter too, I can't helped but be intimidated by her, especially now that no one else is around. She emanates a distinct 'Yes, I _can_ easily crush you and smile at the same time' Ice Queen feeling that leaves you feeling a bit dazed.

However, she gives me a lovely smile, the kind that's so self-assured it makes you feel reassured as well and that nothing can go wrong in her presence.

"Please, call me nee-san," she takes a seat at the counter.

"O-Okay," I blush bashfully, "Nee-san. Would you like some coffee or tea?"

"Coffee would be wonderful," she smiles and rests her chin on her hand, "I've heard a lot about May-chan from Ace and my other cute little brothers. Mostly Ace. But they always say that you have the best coffee."

"Really?! They're absolutely right, my coffee is the bomb, but they said that? Aww," I pour nee-san a cup, in a cheerful mood and jitters forgotten from hearing about their praise, "Do you like cream and sugar?"

"Just black, thank you."

"Also, would you like some white chocolate cheesecake?"

"Sure."

She glances around at the flowers that are packed into the café and raises a sharp eyebrow at them.

"Is your coffeeshop usually this…floral?"

"No, my friends are just idiots," I beam.

We talk more as she enjoys her coffee ("Ah, they were right, it _is_ good.") and she tells me about her research from the last year.

"Yes, we got stuck for a whole month somewhere just off the shore of Swallow Island because the ocean froze all around us. Even if you're in an icebreaker, it won't do much if you can't move in the first place. But, I got some amazing photos of leopard seals and even got to have a little fun wrestling with them before the ice melted and we were able to get back on track."

When she leaves, I dial up Ace without hesitation.

"May? What's up?"

"Whitey Bay nee-san is incredible," I say in awe.

"Right?! Isn't she though?!"

* * *

 **3:20 pm**

"May, you should have these ones right at the front!" Luffy says, pulling a vase of blaze tiger lilies up to the center of the counter, and judging by his proud lil' smile, they're probably the ones that he got.

He came in for a late lunch after nee-san left, saying something about monkeys and orangutans and deepsea-diving. I don't know exactly know, it's sometimes hard to understand him when he talks with his mouth full.

Anyway, we're enjoying some afternoon coffee and tea in the lull between customers and appreciating all of the flowers now that I have time to view them individually and read the well-wishing messages attached to them.

"Any reason in particular?" I ask him with a smile.

"Just because," he returns the grin, most likely thinking that he's being convincing.

' _Definitely his.'_

I look up when the bell rings and see Law walk in and pause, overwhelmed momentarily by the flowers.

"Wow," is all he can say.

"Yup. Aren't they pretty?" I ask enthusiastically.

"This is an allergy hazard."

"Look, look!" Luffy pulls him over to the lilies he's placed front and center, "Aren't these the best? They're the best, right?"

"Allergy hazard."

Luffy ' _hmphs'_ and turns away from Law.

"May, Torao's being lame, ignore him."

"'Kay."

"Wait, I need coffee, May-ya."

"So, Luffy, thanks for remembering my favorite colors and flower," I tell my dumpling, picking up some bouquets and organizing them atop the display case.

"No problem. Oh, no! It's supposed to be a secret who it's from. Uhhh, those aren't from me. Not at all."

I root through the leaves of the tiger lilies, while Luffy adopts his extremely transparent I'm-lying-but-trying-not-to-seem-like-it expression and whistles aimlessly off to the side, and see a note nestled in between them signed with Ace and Luffy's names. Also, a terribly drawn pirate skull with a straw hat.

Very obviously from the brothers.

"Don't ignore me."

"It's amazing that so many people sent you lilies, May," Luffy comments.

"Yup," I grab up a bunch to arrange on the shelf behind the counter, "It's so nostalgic."

"May-ya, I'm going to die if I don't get caffeine."

"Shame. I wonder who the idiot who sent me the Madonna lilies was though. Considering that they're usually used for funerals," I remark at random, more to myself than either of the guys.

" _I_ think it was clever of whoever sent those," grouses Law under his breath as I hand over a cup of coffee, deciding we've tortured him enough.

"Wow, Torao, you are _just_ as bad as Luffy. You could not have made that any more obvious," I let him know.

He sputters into the drink.

"I—Shut up."

" _Pffftt!_ " Luffy finally lets out the snort he was holding in at Law, "Torao's pretty stupid. You just made it super obvious who those are from."

"It's okay, Law," I grin at him as he pinches Luffy's cheek, hard (" _Like you're one to talk!_ "), "I don't mind that you're sending me subliminal messages hoping that I'll die-"  
"That was _not_ the intention."  
"-Glad to hear. Anyway, I like them. They remind me a lot of my mom. They were her favorites."

He lets go of Luffy's cheek from where he was stretching it, quick far in fact, and looks at me with some kind of emotion that almost looks like understanding.

"Were?"

"Yup. They're also the ones I named myself for, so it's all good."

"I still don't understand how it is that you named yourself," he says, that almost emotion disappearing beneath his usual impassiveness.

"My mom was a bit of an absentminded person. It never really came up," I smile wistfully at the thought; for my first couple of months living with my mom, I was simply 'sweetie', or 'dear', or 'love', but I didn't know any better, so I was fine with it.

"What changed?"

"We couldn't leave the adoption papers blank."

"Oh."

* * *

 **7:00 pm**

"Nami, I want it. I will pay anything to get my hands on it."

"50000 Beri."

"You got yourself a deal!"

"Ace-san, you literally could have gone to any store and bought it."

"Nooo, because then people will think weird things about me! A guy buying a swimsuit magazine? What kind of impression do you think that gives?"

"What are you guys talking about?" I ask, toddling over to Quintin where my friends are congregated, with Sanji bringing out a large tray brimming with supper behind me.

"Nothing!"

Ace tries to hide something under his shirt, only to realize that he has no shirt and settles for shoving it into his pants.

"I went out and bought a hundred Amazon Lily magazines and have been selling them for fifty times their original worth," states Nami boorishly, "It's raking in a nice profit."

"Worth it," Ace says weakly, pulling out the magazine since there's no reason to hide it anymore.

"Oh my god," I sit down tiredly at Quintin, not having the reserves to say anything else in the face of Nami's exaction of Beri.

"That's what I love about Nami-san, she's so pragmatic!" Sanji sighs in admiration, catching Luffy's hand that's already reaching for food and handing out chopsticks to the others.

"Don't worry, May, I have your compensation," Nami says placatingly and dumps a heavy stack of Beri in front of me.

"Oh my god," I repeat intelligently, "How many magazines have you _sold_ to get this much?"

"Oh, I haven't sold that much. This includes your cut from yesterday."

"What do you mean?"

"When you started stripping in front of all those Foxy gang people, it was a great distraction for me to pickpocket the lot of them. So, as thanks, I'm giving you a percent."

I stare dumbly down at the Beri.

"Wow. That's a lot of Beri."

"Where were you even hiding all of those wallets?" Zoro asks, simultaneously awed and slightly unnerved; Ace seems to be choking on something.

"Secret," Nami winks, "If I told you, I'd have to kill you."

"May! When did you become a stripper!?" Ace demands of me, getting over his coughing fit as Luffy thumps his back roughly, "Is this another Amazon Lily thing? You should get out of there if you feel like you're pressured to do things."

"Ah, you haven't heard yet," Robin says, taking the plate that Sanji hands over to her with a grateful nod, "May got kidnapped yesterday."

"And you didn't tell me?!"

"It's cool, we took care of it and kicked some ass," Luffy tells his brother, piling his plate high with minced pork, Jiaozi dumplings, and Peking duck.

"And the part about the stripping?"

"It was stupid, don't worry about it," I dismiss with a wave of my hand, "That aside: how could you ever get the idea that I'd be a stripper? That requires muscle strength that I could never even hope to have."

"True. I have such respect for those people. It's not so easy to hold your weight up horizontally on a pole," Nami says seriously.

"Tell me about it," Usopp agrees.

"Wait, wait, but there still remains the fact that you apparently stripped."

"I only got down to a bikini. You run around half-naked the majority of the time," I point out, filling up bowls of rice to distribute around the table.

"Huh. Fair point."

"Pass the Gong Bao Ji Ding over here."  
"Dim sum this way, please!"  
"Oi, chew completely before you swallow, dumbass."  
"What's for dessert?"  
"White chocolate cheesecake, of course."  
"Toss the Duo Jiao sauce over, would you?"

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! I'll just be answering reviews here**

 **Yuisair- Thank you so much! I'll try to get the next chapters uploaded before you die!**

 **AmericaNidiot/Albertastein- Ahhhh, thank you guys so much, you guys seem to be the top reviewers amongst a few others, and I can't thank you enough for your little messages. Stay shiny, you beautiful people! (Also, AmericaN, thanks for keeping me on top of the Quintin Count)**

 **ADDBaby- Right? I don't know why they make zippers so hard to reach on dresses, but fancy clothes are a pain. My advice? Just don't wear them.**

 **Guest (With no other ID)- Uh, yes! I am updating! I'm sorry they're taking so long, but I'm trying my best! Fight on!**

 **AmericaNidiot- Then I think I did a good job, because college basically is one big crack fic. Oddly enough Sangin is actually the only Sanji ship I really get behind. ZoSan maybe, LuSan I'm more into, but it's mostly 'Eh'**

 **meez13rulez- NOTICED! Also, this will be a one time crossover only :( I got the idea from the actual crossover that happened b/w OP and T, but I've never watched/read T, so I won't be doing this again**

 **(Guest who commented on Chapter 1- Again, this won't be a crossover fic, Toriko was a one time thing, sorry to dissapoint :c)**

 **FSG- Hey, May can't _always_ be the voice of reason. Sometimes other people have to step up and fill that role. Ahhh, you reviewed so much, I can't keep up! *finger snaps anyway to let you know that ur a cool bean who always makes my day***

 **Thanks everyone!**

 **-jj**


	54. Chapter 50: In Which There Is No Tea

**Author's Corner: Hey-a! Just uploaded 3 new chapters! Thank you so much again guys, for sticking this out with me =~= Also, when I do finally get caught up, I'm thinking about starting to post another story (I have many). Go check out the poll on my profile to vote for what story you'd like to see!**

* * *

 **March 8/Tuesday/7:00 am**

I blink as I wake up and see sunlight gently falling through the curtains. In a sleepy haze, I sit up and look around, trying to figure out what's wrong with this scene.

Hmm, there's no suspicious crashes coming from the kitchen, so Luffy and Ace probably aren't here yet. Chou Chou is in his place at the foot of the bed, my glasses are on the nightstand, my phone….oh, after some rummaging around between the bedsheets, my phone is here too, but wait…it's not dark in here...

I slip my glasses on to look at the time:

 _7:00 am._

"Ah! I slept in!"

In a rush, I leap out of bed and hop awkwardly over to get into my clothes, brush my teeth, sloppily tie my hair up, and book it downstairs, forgoing sliding down each step and just slipping down the handrail.

I land gracelessly on my face at the bottom with a lengthy and colorful string of curses, but quickly jump up and try to get the café ready.

Wow, I must have been much more tired out from yesterday than I thought if I slept more than three hours!

You see, rather than spending a nice, relaxful, lazy Monday like I intended—because it's not like I have to recuperate from a broken leg or anything—Ace and Thatch came barging into my home bright and early yesterday morning and told me that I'm joining them on a whale-watching trip, regardless of whether I wanted to or not.

A hop, skip, and a jump to the harbor, an ugly orange life vest, a trash bag to cover my cast and prevent it from getting wet, and we sailed out. The following events somehow ended up with this result: meeting an old man named Crocus and a whale named Laboon in the middle of the sea, an unwanted and intimate knowledge of how to disembowel shrimp, getting knocked over board in a freak storm with one leg out of commission and a heavy cast dragging me down, half-drowning before someone dived in and saved me, and some burnt s'mores that caught on fire at the end of the day.

So basically, just your average Monday.

But that's not important now! I can't believe I overslept, no matter how tired I was. I should have at least set an alarm, but I kinda crawled up that stairs in exhaustion last night, a feat that turned out to be comparable to climbing the 268 steps to the Big Buddha, where I finally crashed on my bed and was out like a light.

I decide to stock the display with leftover pastries from yesterday for now since I haven't made any, and immediately start the coffee. Get a bowl of food ready for Chou Chou. Trip over a pot of tulips on my way to the kitchen. Spend the next few minutes curled up on the floor, clutching my banged knee in pain.

It is in that state—in the fetal position and cursing the perennial plant-holding jardinière—that Nami finds me when she walks in today.

"So, how are we doing this morning?" she finally asks after helping herself to some coffee.

"I feel like sunshine," I moan sarcastically.

"Cool. Now, I'm sure it's fun to lie around on the floor, but it's time to get up," she lightly nudges me in the side with her toe, "We got an invite from Elder Nyon to come to tea today."

"One, why does she never ask _me_ about these things, and two, no, I'm not missing another day here. I'm not closing up the café to have some tea with a crazy old lady."

"One, she already knows how uncooperative you are and she barely knows you, and two," she offers me a hand to get up and I grudgingly take it, "You don't look prepared for today anyway. Did you sleep in or something?"

"Maybe," I huff.

"Okay, we're leaving," she decides, sets down her coffee with a firm _click!_ , yanks me forward with the hand she's still holding me and picks me up.

"Wah! Nami?!"

"Yes?"

"Put me down!"

"Nah."

Ace and Luffy enter the café just as Nami is about to leave with me.

"Huh? Where are you two going?" Luffy asks.

"Help, help I'm being abducted!" I cry, reaching out my arms to the brothers in a desperate plea.

"Oh, are you? Well, good luck with that."

"Have fun getting abducted," Ace courteously holds the door open for Nami.

"Wait, you two are going to eat all of my food, _don't you dare eat all of my food!"_

"Bye, May, we'll see you for dinner maybe?"

* * *

 **7:45 am**

"You're upset with me, aren't you."

I cross my arms and refuse to answer my friend as we pull up to the sparkling gates of Amazon Lily, the massive snake statues as intimidating as ever.

"Look, I'm sorry, but we have to keep up pleasantries with this cooky obaa-san if we want to keep modelling (and if I want my money), and I wouldn't have pulled you away if I hadn't given you the Beri yesterday. You hardly scrape enough profits as it is, so I know missing days can hurt your café, but I made up for that with the money I gave you, didn't I? So, are you still upset?"

"I'm not upset. I just haven't had any tea since seven last night," I tell her as the security women check Nami out and let us pass. And by check Nami out, I don't just mean her identification.

"Right, well, good thing we'll be getting some soon."

Sweet Pea meets us at the steps of the main building in the center of the private community and opens my door for me and begins to greet us, but Nami cuts her off before she can.

"If you don't want to deal with a very grumpy woman, it'd be best to get May some tea. And soon. She hasn't had any in twelve hours and we're starting to reach the boiling point."

"What are you talking about-?"

"Tea, woman, tea! And make it a big cup, too, please and thank you."

The woman scurries off to do as Nami requests and she helps me out of her car.

"I can go twenty four hours without tea, I'll have you know," I grumble quietly.

"Yeah, yeah, but once you hit the twelve hour mark, you start get difficult."

"Lily-san, Nami-san, glad you could make it!"

We look up at the three sisters standing majestically at the top of the staircase, the middle sister being the one that called out.

"Aphelandra, go assist Lily-san," Marigold instructs the incredibly tall woman standing in waiting beside the sisters along with the other Kuja, who swiftly descends and picks me up effortlessly.

"Please, excuse me, Miss Lily," she says as if trying not to be intrusive; she seems like a sweet girl, but she has the misfortune of dealing with me when I'm miffed.

"I can get around perfectly fine by myself."

"No, you can't May, shut up."

Nami tosses me a _look_ over her shoulder as she climbs the stairs and rolls her eyes.

After the customary 'hi's', 'hello's', 'how-are-you's', we trickle into a grand room filled with tables set up for tea.

I glance around at the tall arching windows and delicate displays of flowers.

"Well, this ain't half bad."

Sweet Pea pops back up at my elbow with a large cup of tea and I smile for the first time today.

"Oh, thank you so much, I don't feel like a person if I don't start out the day with a cup of tea," I tell her gratefully.

"Ah, May-san, please wait for Hancock-sama to drink first," Sweet Pea instructs.

"Huh? Why's that?"

"Because you should respect your elders and let them drink first," Hancock sniffs, apparently having overheard us as she takes her seat with a flip of glossy black hair.

"Wait, wait, you can't be that much older than me. There's no way you're older than Robin, and she's only 30," I eye her suspiciously; she doesn't look that old…

"I'm thirty-one."

"Eh?! You're thirty-one?!" I exclaim, shocked, "But, you act like a smitten teenage girl with a giant humungo crush whenever you're in front of Luffy, you can't be thirty-one! Wait a minute, hold up—you're _thirty-one. Luffy is nineteen._ "

"So? Love has no age limit," she says primly.

"Ewww, no. You're over a decade older than him."

She doesn't retort, instead flipping her hair indignantly over her shoulder (it hits the lady waiting upon her, who faints with a 'Kyaaa~! I got to touch Hancock-sama's hair!') Someone takes the passed out woman's spot and pours her tea, but instead of drinking it, Hancock brings it up halfway to her lips and simply holds it there, glaring me down. I bristle.

' _This jerk! She's purposely not drinking her tea to keep me from being able to drink mine. Well, she underestimates my lack of regard for formalities. And also, how much I need tea right now.'_

I glare right back at her and go to take a sip of the cup of beautiful steaming goodness just sitting there in front of me, losing heat.

"Wait, you can't, Lily-san," Sweet Pea snatches my hand, "Hancock-sama doesn't appear to be enjoying the tea, so we will be moving directly onto the luncheon."

Servers appear out of thin air and clear away the tea and replace it with plates of dainty little sandwiches and other ridiculously small foods you see at tea parties.

I want nothing more than to cry right now.

I manage to keep it together though. I _do_ however stick out my tongue at Hancock, which she responds to with a haughty, smug little smirk that just makes me more irritated.

* * *

 **12:00 pm**

"…And it was that glorious year that Hancock-sama assumed directorship of Amazon Lily, and we have since been enjoying a thriving business and community, not seen since the Elder Nyon's presidency, which lasted from…"

I wake up with a start when Nami sharply nudges me in the ribs with her elbow.

Apparently, today (International Women's Day) is a day that the women of Amazon Lily set aside to look back upon their achievements and celebrate their rich history.

Which is extensive.

And very long-winded.

I've dozed off more than a couple times during the retelling that Miss Belladonna is giving.

I'm tired, alright? I haven't been able to get any tea: I asked for some but there was a confusion and it never made it to me, it got dropped and a replacement was never brought, it was delivered to the wrong person, they ran out, and other accidents have prevented me from getting some.

Finally, I gave up and decided that I would have to hold out until I get back to the café.

I'm doing fine, other than the falling asleep.

Also, the shaking hands.

Okay, I said I'm doing _fine_ , not _great._

"And now, we shall move on to the sporting events to display the beautiful strength of our women. Everyone please convene to the arena, we shall begin…"

"Lily-san, we will be moving now."

"Huh, whazzat?! I'm totally not sleeping!" I jerk up to attention when Marigold shakes my shoulder and raises an eyebrow at me; I sigh guiltily, having been caught, "I'm sorry, I'm really tired today."

"Do you need any coffee or tea perhaps?"

"Only tea would really help at this point, but I guess they've run out," I sigh.

"What?" Nami looks over from where she's chatting up some giggly red-faced young ladies, "I thought someone got you some. You should definitely get May tea; bad things happen when she goes any moment longer than twenty four hours without it."

"What? How do you mean?" questions Marigold.

"I blackout."

Nami sends me a funny look but then seems realize something.

"May uh…well, nevermind. It's fine if you don't know," she says and then turns back to the girls, "Well, ladies, shall we head over? I can't wait to see the sports competition, I'll cheer you on."

"Kyaaa~!"

Both Marigold and I stare after my friend as she walks off with girls on each arm.

"Nami-san is quite the charmer."

"Oo yes. I wouldn't be surprised if she's stealing their wallets though."

My phone rings and I look down at it curiously; Luffy's calling me.

"Hello?"

"Maaaaay, when are you coming back? Sanji kicked us out so we can't get lunch from him and everywhere else Ace and I tried to go kicked us out on sight," my bambino whines on the otherside.

"I'm stuck in Amazon Lily," I say plainly.

"Well, get unstuck! We're halfway done with all your food, but it doesn't taste the same if you don't cook it first."

"That tends to be the case with food," But, he doesn't appear to be listening to me.

"Ah, good idea, Ace!" he replies to something is brother said, before putting the phone back to his ear, "We're sending Torao to get you since he's here and not doing anything-"

" _Oi,_ " I hear faintly on his end.

"Yeah, I would go, but I don't have enough energy because I'm still hungry. See you soon, May!"

He hangs up before I can even answer.

"Who was that?" Marigold asks as she lifts me up and starts walking with everyone else to the apparent arena that they have in this gated community.

"Eh, someone who's raiding my fridge right now. I'll probably have to go shopping today."

"Oh. Okay?"

* * *

 **3:30 pm**

Right as the closing ceremony is coming to an end, the victor of all the games a fierce woman named Poppy, the runner-ups a sharp-looking woman named Kikyo and another woman named Poppy, something clasps over my mouth and I struggle for a wild moment as I get yanked backward from Nami's side, who's cheering and doesn't notice.

I end up sprawled behind the seats pressed up against something that's probably a person's chest.

"I want you to know that I have not had any coffee today, making me very irritated right now, and I was blackmailed into collecting you, so please be cooperative here."

I reach up behind me and pat around to find a furry hat.

Well, that narrows down who this could be a lot.

"Cool, I was just thinking about leaving to get some tea anyway. How are we doing this? Bridal style? Piggyback? Potato sack?" I ask the crabby doctor when he releases my face.

"Don't call it that, it makes it sounds lame," he says as he tosses me over his shoulder, much like the aforementioned sack.

"Well. I mean."

"No."

"Oh. So, why are we sneaking out of here? You probably could've just asked for me at the front or something," I pick a stray thread off the back of Law's sweater; where did he ever find such an offensively yellow sweater? I might just have to add one to my Mysterious Which-Friend-Did-This-Come-From collection.

"Last time I tried that, I got an arrow pointed at my jugular, don't want a repeat, thanks."

"Ah."

I make sure to leave Nami a text explaining where I am as we sneak out of Amazon Lily. I notice that as we walk, a lot of women and a few men turn back to keep watching us as we pass. At first, I think it's because it's not usual to see someone being carried like this down the streets, but then I hear the murmurs.

"Oo, who's that hot piece of ass?"  
"I wonder if I could get his number?"  
"Screw numbers, I'd like to jump him here and now."  
"Wow, I didn't think I was into dudes, but wow…"

"He's into bondage," I inform the throng of girls all eyeing Law like starving predators about to swoop at the first sign of weakness.

" _May-ya._ "

"Kyaaaa!" they blush and turn away, giggling and tittering to each other like a flock of small fluffy birds.

"What? I thought you were into that, what with the handcuffs and all."

" _May-ya, shut up._ "

"Hey, man, it's cool, you're free to express yourself sexually however you want. Can we stop by the Buggy Mall on the way home real quick?"

* * *

 **6:50 pm**

"Ughhhh, I'm so tired," I groan as I enter the café with Law (who carries a large number of grocery bags in addition to me) to find Ace and Luffy and Nami waiting for me, the former in the kitchen rummaging around in one of the fridges and the latter two fiddling around with my Sudoku puzzles; tired doesn't even cover it, I am about to drop unconscious and my sour mood from this morning has nosedived straight to awful, "Who knew cannibals were still a thing and that there's a thriving community of them right next to Buggy's."

"Welcome back!" Luffy sings.

"Please, for the love of all good, get me some tea. I was not prepared to deal with that with how long it's been since I've had some."

Nami whips around to face me, dawning horror in her eyes.

"Oh my god, May, have you not had any tea?"

"No and I'm just a little irritated right now," I growl.

"Fuck! Ace, grab some tea and throw it over here right now! It doesn't matter if it's cold, May's reaching twenty four hours!" Nami screams in a panic.

"Shit, really? I thought you guys _went_ for tea today?!" he yells back, and we hear running water, but things are starting to go fuzzy and there's this high-pitched whine starting to crescendo in my head, or maybe the others can hear it too, I don't really know.

"What are you talking about, Nami-ya? Twenty four hours?" Law asks as he sets me down and I immediately collapse on the ground.

"Ace, we could use that tea soon!"

"Catch!"

My vision is starting to go red when something slams into my mouth and I find myself choking on some liquid.

I blink around at the mess around me, my sight clearing: Nami is slumped over my lap, clutching a cup of tea, Ace looks ready to bolt out the back door at a moment's notice, Luffy is peeking out from the safety of the counter, and Law is sorta standing around, looking down at us in bafflement.

"Huh? What's up with all of you?" I ask them, shaking myself to get a grip; how did I end up on the ground?

"Oh thank god, we made it in time."

"What?" I'm so confused right now; why does it feel like my friends are trying to handle me delicately.

"Don't worry about it, May. It's all good now," Ace says, approaching warily, "Here, have some more tea."

I accept it even though I still don't know what's going on because, hey, tea is tea.

"Thanks? Oh, and Nami, thank you for taking me to see the Kuja today, it was nice to see them all again. I think I had a good time. It's a little burry…? Huh, I wonder why. Maybe I'm just tired from almost drowning yesterday…"

* * *

 **Author's Corner 2: Hey-a! Who were those girls eyeing up Law you might ask? His thousands of thirsty fangirls.**

 **Jisca- Hiiiii! It's good to see you back! :D And no worries, I can't expect everyone to review _every_ chapter, that'd be silly**

 **Awesome Guest- Thanks! I'm working on getting all the chapters out. It's slow, but I'm working on it =~=**

 **Archaeological** **\- I DON"T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND, I LIVE FOR SINGLE DAD MIHAWK**

 **C- MMM thank you! I'm having a lot of fun writing the AU's so far, but I'd like to do a different one each month...(I might start side series if people are interested tho...?)**

 **girlgladiator- Thanks a bunch! :) I have some catching up to do on your story as well, but I will see how Rose's adventure is unfolding soon!**

 **That's all for now!**

 **-jj**


	55. Chapter 51: In Which There Is An Itch

**9 March/Wednesday/6:50 am**

I let out a satisfied puff as I drain my twentieth cup of tea in a row this morning.

"Ahh, as I thought, there's no better way to start the day than a hot cup of tea. Yosh! I'm all energized for today, let's do it!"

I'm feeling significantly better than I was yesterday.

I made sure to set extra alarms for myself today, and of course the first thing I did when I made it down stairs (it only took ten minutes, which is a record for me! (yesterday's ungraceful display doesn't count)) was to make myself some generous ten cups of tea, not wanting a repeat of yesterday.

With this, I'll definitely make it through today alright.

"Hey, you."

I look up at the girl that's in front of the counter. Whoa, I didn't even hear her come in!

The young girl before me seems to be trying to avoid being conspicuous, as she lowers her sunglasses and glances around the café as if to make sure that nobody is around.

However, the effect is sorta ruined because she's wearing what can only be described as a Loli-goth style of outfit, with a lacy red skirt, striped stockings, large cherry-red combat boots, and a crown. She also has with her an umbrella with a devil-looking kind of face and horns on it and a large stuffed bear with a surgical mask.

All in all, very conspicuous.

"Hello, how can I help you?" I ask her brightly; it's none of my business if she wants to sneak around (even if she isn't in fact sneaking around).

"Listen up," she says, finishing her sweep of the café and confirming that we're alone, "I'm on a secret mission. Secret! You hear me?

"Ah, I guess-"

"This secret mission!" she cuts me off, "Is a cake. Not just any cake either, a birthday cake."

I perk up, understanding now why she's here.

"Oh, of course! Wonderful, wonderful, I'll just need to know what size, flavors, and decorations you'd like and I'll be able get you set up. In secret, of course," I tell her, pulling out my notebook and pen.

"I don't care what it tastes like as long as it's super sweet. And super big and super cute. It needs to be super cute! Pink and red, with lots of bows and hearts. And sparkles," she directs.

"If you don't mind me asking, who is it for?"

"My uncle," she puffs importantly, "He's a super un-cute old man and that's why his cake needs to be ultra-cute to get him to lighten up for once."

"Ahhhhhh…okay."

"I expect it by six o'clock this evening, so get to it," she deals out one last order and with a swish of her skirt and flick of her long pink hair, she's out the door.

Ah, shoot, I didn't get to ask if she's picking it up or if I should deliver it. Oh, I also didn't get her name.

* * *

 **9:45 am**

"So, how are things going on your end?"

"Good, good," I say to my phone which is resting on the counter, on speakerphone, while I pipe whipped cream frosting onto the top of a sponge cake and top each mound off with a strawberry, "Finished Franky's at one this morning because I was awake. It always screws with my sleep schedule when I sleep past four. Unless it's a Monday. Anyway, I have to put some final touches on Shanks' and then I got an order for another to be done by six."

"Do you need me to send someone over to help? Don't people know that you're supposed to order cakes y'know, _not_ the day of?" Ace asks, and there's some muffled crashes in the background, accompanied by a distant ' _Watch it!_ '.

"Apparently not. I'll be fine here, but I could use your help for something else, if you're not too busy helping Galley-La get set up: can you keep Luffy away from here at least until I'm done with the cakes? I love him, but he can be…distracting."

"That's one word for it," snorts Ace, "Yeah, I've gotcha. See you at the party?"

"Yup, but actually, I need a ride over to Galley-La. I'm expecting the party to be grand. It is for Franky after all, and he always liked showy displays. Oh, and afterwards, we're going to Makino's, remember?" I tell him, "Shanks just wants a low-key get together this year, so we're meeting up at Party's."

"Shanks and 'low-key' are not words that go hand in hand," Ace says flatly, "Ever."

"Oh trust me, I know it's going to be wild, I think he just meant he didn't want anything fancy done for him."

"Ah, that makes sense. See you after six then, I'll pick you up."

I set down the piping bag and hang up my phone, trying without thinking to scratch an itch on my leg through Skanda. Then I carefully hop over to the fridge to place Shanks' cake inside, nearly— _nearly—_ tripping and ending up in a sticky strawberry shortcake mess, but I save myself and it's all good.

"Whew!" I wipe a bead of sweat from my forehead from the small exertion and moment of panic I experienced, "Now all that's left is that cute cake. Hmm, what would be a good flavor…"

The bell rings and I get distracted from my absentminded scratching that was slowly becoming more forceful.

' _Geez, when did my leg get so itchy?_ '

I wobble over to the front, but as I reach the doorway, a particularly strong urge to itch my leg overcomes me and I reach to scratch it.

Despite what you may think, kids, taking your hand away from crutches that are supporting the majority of your weight mid-step doesn't work out so well.

With a magnificent _crash!,_ I faceplant straight into the floor with the choice swear of ' _Fuck mother damnit!_ '.

"Whoa, I didn't know you swore. I thought you were too goody-two-shoes for that."

I glance up from giving the ground a piece of my mind, nose throbbing, and find Red staring down at me with an arrogant smirk, probably laughing at me in his head. I stick my tongue out at him while I massage my nose and elegantly reply.

"Screw off."

"Who pissed in your coffee?" he asks, but still extends his prosthetic arm to lend me a hand up.

"My leg is itchy!" I whine, regaining my balance by clinging onto Red's silicon arm and picking up my fallen crutches, "It feels like there's ants in my pants, except the pants are an impenetrable Skanda made of cotton and plaster that I can't get past to itch!"

"Use a wire coat hanger," he suggests, catching me off-guard; wasn't he just about to laugh in my face? What's with him being helpful instead?

"What?"

"Have you never broken a bone?" he walks with me over to the counter, a hand hovering behind my back as if I'm going to fall again, "I want coffee, by the way. If you have a cast, you can bend a wire coat hanger out of shape and slide it into it to itch whenever you need to."

"Really? That's…actually really helpful," I say, pouring a cup for him and one for myself as well, because why not, "Do you know this from experience?"

"Lots of experience."

"Wow, have many bones have you broken?"

"Eh, lost count after six or something," he shrugs; a moment passes while we both sip our coffee.

"So, the coffee machine broken again?" I inquire; I think this might actually be the longest we've talked without Red being excessively grumpy. Although, I'm pretty grumpy right now, I have been for a couple days, but I think we've made some good progress in the way of civil conversation.

He looks around and brushes a couple bouquets of flowers aside so he can sit down at the counter.

"Yeah. When did you become a florist shop?"

"Oh, don't mind them. I guess it's a tradition to send people get well flowers or something," I pick at the lilies that Ace and Luffy got me, still in their place at the very front, "I feel like I should have known that, but I've never broken any bones before. Anyway, I like 'em. Reminds me of my home."

"Home?"

"Yup. My mom was a…well, I guess she was a florist. Part-time. Meaning, she grew flowers in our home garden and then would sell them sometimes," Ugh, my leg is starting to get that feeling again; I poke at the spot in an attempt to soothe it, "Point is, we had a lot of flowers in our house. In fact, they usually took up more space than our furniture. _God, my leg is so itchy right now!_ Can you go upstairs and get me a hanger, please? I'm about to go mad."

I blink when he actually gets up and trudges upstairs without any complaints. I'm still stunned when he comes back down, carrying the blessed hanger.

"What the fuck you staring at?" he growls when I don't take it right away.

"Kidd, are you one of those metal guys that looks like a delinquent and acts like a tough ass but actually helps little grannies cross the street and pets stray cats?" I finally ask him.

" _What_."

"Oh my god, you totally are!"

"Shut up!"

He appears to be deeply affronted, and snatches up his coffee to storm out the door, spewing half-formed insults back at me. Seems like he didn't appreciate me implying that he's actually a good person deep down. What's his problem?

Wait, sonnuva—he just took my mug!

* * *

 **2:00 pm**

I stare down at the cake on the counter before me. Hand on chin.

"Hrrmmmm—"

I'm trying to think of how to decorate this cake. The Loli girl said cute. And red and pink and ribbons and hearts. And sparkles.

"Mmmmmmmmmm—"

So basically, like an overwhelmingly girly version of a cake that seems to be what people believe all young girls want for their birthday.

Except, it's for an old, uncute, grumpy man?

I can't see this working out well.

But, I'm not the one who ordered it, so it's not my place to judge. Welp, pink and glitter it is.

* * *

 **5:55 pm**

' _Ahhhh, that feels heavenly.'_

I let out a long, contented sigh at the feeling of metal rubbing my skin. The coat hanger trick is working marvelously, and I'm so much more at peace with my situation now that I can scratch my leg.

I squeak and drop the hanger, which clatters to the ground, when the door bangs open and Lolita girl steps in, this time accompanied by…what appears to be a person in a bear suit similar to the doll she was carrying earlier.

"You! Do you have my cake ready?" she demands, just as pink and frilly as I remember her this morning.

"Yes, ma'am! Here you are," I pull out the cake and place it delicately on the counter for her to view.

"It's perfect!" she squeals, flouncing over and hovering over it to inspect the sugary creation, "This will for sure get him to be more cute. Thanks, lady, or whatever. Here's the payment."

She fishes out a wad of Beri from her purse and sticks it on the counter. I stare down at the money.

"Uhm, I only charge 4000 Beri for cakes. This is way too much."

"Keep the change, I don't care about it," she says dismissively, with the air that only people with Beri to spare have, "Kumashi! Carry this cake out, we need to get to uncle's house before he leaves so we can trap him and force him to enjoy his party!"

The bear-suited person, 'Kumashi', nods and picks up the cake.

"Yes, Per-"

"Hey, I ordered you not to talk! I hate your voice, it's so un-cute."

I watch in silence as the odd duo makes their way out, unable to say anything. The bell rings and the door closes with a soft _click!_

"Ah, dangit, I forgot to ask for her name again! Well, I guess it's time to get ready for the party."

I'm just putting up my hair when I hear a crash from downstairs.

Aw, sonnuva—I forgot to leave the front door unlocked for Ace.

"May? You ready to go?" he calls.

"Just a sec," I yell back down, "The door was locked, you should have knocked or something."

"It was locked? Huh, didn't even notice," his voice gets louder as he trots upstairs, "Oo, you're wearing a Hawaiian shirt? Dang, kinda wish I wore one as well now. Mind if I poke through your closet and borrow one?"

"Wow, Ace wearing a shirt, this is a monumental occasion."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Hm? Are these my missing boxers?"

"Absolutely not."

"May. Seriously."

* * *

 **9:50 pm**

"Happy birthday, Franky!"

Luffy, Ace, and me hug the tall man once more as we say our goodbyes on the way out.

The workers of Galley-La have thrown a big bash for Franky's birthday; it was supposed to be a surprise party, but instead, the man himself surprised us all when he made a grand appearance accompanied by the sisters Kiwi and Mozu and many colorful explosions. It's been fun, but we have to move along to Party's now.

"You guys are the best," he sobs emotionally, crushing us all in a large embrace, "Thank you so much for the gift, May, I'll cherish them forever!"

I giggle (somewhat breathlessly, my lungs currently being squished) and pat his shoulder. My present to Franky was a pack of three delightfully colorful—and by delightful I mean 'absolutely monstrous in the best way possible'—Hawaiian shirts that I found at a quite honestly shady flea market I stumbled upon in the Jaya district a couple days ago and immediately knew were perfect for my friend. I also nabbed one for myself because they were so wonderful.

"Now! To Shanks' party!" Luffy cheers, charging ahead of us to Ace's car, "Shotgun!"

"Whose turn is it tonight?" I ask Ace as I slip into the back seat.

"Who cares? Nobody should be left out for today, so drink up to your heart's content!"

"Sounds good to me."

"I'll carry you _both_ home," Luffy says impressively, "I've decided I don't like drinking."

"Really? What happened to being manly and shit?" Ace asks his younger brother.

"Shanks told me you don't need to drink to be a man. Also, it tastes nasty, so I never really liked drinking anyway."

"Well, I'm glad you got that figured out," he ruffles Luffy's hair fondly, and even though he's facing forward, I can see Luffy's cheeks stretch into a grin.

We arrive at Makino's to find the party has started, the birthday boy surrounded by a good five empty bottles already.

"Hey, you three!" he calls exuberantly, "Glad you could make it!"

"Happy birthday, Shanks!" Luffy, of course, bounds right over and jumps on him in a crushing Luffy-hug, "How old are you today? Forty?"

"Thirty nine and still brimming with youth!"

"Eh, Shanks is such an old man now. Do you have any grey hairs yet?"

"Aw c'mon, I'm not _that_ old," he protests, "Go talk to Benn about grey hair, he's got an entire headful!"

Said grey-haired man smacks his friend upside his red-haired head, who just laughs.

"Ah, May," he grins up at me and waves me over, ignoring the teen that is now combing through his hair like a monkey to find silver hairs, "I've been waiting for this cake all day! I hope it tastes good."

"Naturally!" I set the cake down and someone goes to get the candles. What? You're never too old to have candles on your cake.

"Here you go," Ace hands me a bottle, cracking open one for himself with his bare hands, having already popped over to the bar and said hello to Makino, "Cheers!"

"Thanks."

"Alright!" Lucky Roo lifts his glass in a toast to get everyone's attention as the candles are lit, "Here is to our dear friend, Shanks. To a great year and many more to come!"

Everyone cheers and glasses are clinked together, the real party starting with renewed energy.

* * *

 **10 March/Thursday/3:00**

Whew! It's been a fun night. The party quickly devolved into rowdiness, as was expected, but it was a good time with good friends. Mihawk came into the bar halfway through the party, looking slightly ruffled and a tad desperate.

"Makino, wine, right now," he ordered as soon as he reached the counter.

"What happened to you, Hawky?" she asked; I didn't know they knew each other.

"I've only just escaped. There was so much… _pink._ "

He wouldn't tell us what happened, other than it was pink. Very, very pink.

I also found out that today is his birthday as well.

"And you didn't tell me?!" I yelled at him, a bit tipsy at that point and having no reservations about chewing the intimidating man out, "Well, _geez,_ I didn't get a chance to make you a cake. Here, have some of this cake and we'll call it even. You better believe you're gettin' one next year though."

I then proceeded to force some of the strawberry shortcake on him, with Shanks laughing at us the whole time.

I totally caught him and Makino 'secretly' making out in the back of the bar when I got up to use the toilet, but I chose not to say anything about it, because it _is_ Shanks' day, and I doubt they want all of our friends finding out they're a thing from me.

So, I can wait a little longer for them.

Anyway, I'm making a sober-up-for-the-day-because-you-have-work-dum-dum dinner/breakfast : a large pot fettuccini with a thick cream sauce and a cup of coffee.

"…And they wore the stupidest mask-hat things ever," I ramble on to Ace and Luffy, who are seated at the counter; my home has once again become our post-bar crashing place, "I think they were supposed to look like fox ears, but them why the masks? To look even more stupid probably."

"May, I wanna help with the cooking," Luffy says brightly as I slosh cream in to our dinner-breakfast.

The sober part of my mind tells me that's a really bad idea.

But, my sober mind isn't here right now, blown away by many drinks and these delicious booze cherries Makino makes, and Ace is currently asleep, unable to be the voice of reason he can be when I'm not filling that role.

"Sure, Lu, that sounds like a great idea!"

It was a terrible idea.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Guys, you will not believe this! I found a concert brochure from 2012 that has an excerpt of The Café on the Corner scribbled on it! It's so crazy to think that I've been planning this story for at least four years :D**

 **Anyway, thanks for reading. Stick around!**

 **-jj**


	56. Chapter 52: In Which Ace Has A Day

**11 March/Friday/3:15 am**

"Luffy."

I poke the teen that's sleeping on my bed currently, rolled up like an eggroll in the blankets that he stole from me last night, the little butt. At least it was warm so I didn't freeze to death in my sleep or worse: catch a cold.

"Luffy, wake up," I tell him, poking again more insistently when he gives me all the response of a brick wall, "I need you to take me downstairs."

He grumbles something undecipherable, mumbles out a sleepy 'Fooooood~', then lets out a loud snore and turns over.

Sighing, I tug the covers away from him (more like wrestle with how strong a grip he has on them) and prepare to use my final attack; he leaves me no choice.

Without holding back, I place my fingers lightly but solidly around Luffy's neck.

A high-pitched scream fills the room as Luffy jerks up, almost knocking his head into mine, but I moved out of the way in the nick of time, expecting it.

"Coldcoldcold—what the hell— _cold!_ "

"Morning," I say, sitting back on the edge of my bed, ignoring Luffy' whining as he rubs his neck to bring back some warmth to it, "I need to get to the kitchen."

"There was no need to put your hands on me, May," he bellyaches, grasping for the blankets, "They're always so cold, I don't like it when you do that."

"Yes, well, I need to get to work, and half the staircase is gone," I try fruitlessly to keep him from disappearing in the blankets again.

There's a reason Luffy is here in my bed today.

You see.

I made the monumental mistake of letting him help me cook yesterday. In my defense, I was drunk and not exactly thinking clearly, and the only other person that would have recognized it as a bad decision (Ace) was taking a lovely narcoleptic nap at the time, so I accept partial blame.

But my god.

I didn't know how much disaster the kid could cause in a kitchen until half of mine got destroyed in the explosion. The devastation extended to the lower part of my stairs, which makes going up and down them difficult, so Luffy offered to help me until Franky can replace them (and half of my kitchen) today. Fortunately, my equipment like the ovens, fridges, and sheeter made it out unscathed (albeit slightly singed) so I can still use them.

"But I'm sleepyyyyy," the lump under the covers drawls sleepily, "Five more minutes."

"I'll put my popsicle hands on you again," I threaten lightly, wiggling my fingers ominously even though he can't see.

"I'm up!"

We both laugh as he lunges from the bed, scoops me up to race down stairs, leaping effortlessly over the missing steps to land solidly at the bottom.

"So, what do you say to some breakfast and then you can go back to sleep?"

"Yes please!"

* * *

 **7:10 am**

 _-crash-_

My hand freezes from pulling out the tea bag that's finished seeping in my cup when the door crashes open.

Wait a hot minute.

There's quite a few people (more than there should be) who slam my door open hard enough for it to crash into the wall.

Of those many people, there's only one that I've heard manage to make it crash open but in a less vigorous way, not with the typical wood-splintering, glass-shattering, more-cracks-in-the-wall-now _–CRASH-_ that I'm so used to hearing. There's only one person that can make a crash that sounds like it's lost its energy and a bit sad even.

And that can only mean one thing.

"Uh oh."

"Hm? What's wrong?" Luffy asks, coming to lean off of my shoulders as he exits the kitchen and I throw away the bag to look up.

I nod towards the door silently and the person who just entered, the person that should be wearing a bright orange cowboy hat but isn't, who entered with the pathetic-sounding crash. Behind me, Luffy goes still and I know that he knows what's wrong.

Ace is having a day.

"Morning!" he calls cheerfully, but I squint at him critically; if the door crashing wasn't a dead giveaway, then the lack of hat would have definitely indicated it. It's usually so eye-catching (in the most abominable way possible, which I believe is intentional) that it distracts from the self-loathing in his eyes, so if he forgot to wear it, he's definitely having a day.

Luffy straightens up and I smile at his brother.

"Good morning. I've got some coffee ready, it's extra good today. Also, I can whip up some huevos rancheros with that super spicy salsa you like," I say, already pulling up a mug and filling it for him.

Luffy however, in good old Luffy-fashion, takes the direct approach.

"Ace!" he vaults over the counter and attaches himself to his brother, "I love you!"

They stumble for a moment, but Ace quickly gathers himself and hugs Luffy back.

"Haha, what brought this on?"

"Nothing!" he grins, "Just wanted t'say it."

"Well…thanks."

They both settle at the counter and I set the coffee in front of Ace.

"Mind if I hang out here for today, May?" he asks after he takes a sip; I can see Luffy watching him carefully even though he's picked up Chou Chou from the stool next to him and is playing with his ears, "I'm taking the day off and I don't have anything to do."

"Of course. Just don't light anything on fire please. We're doing really well with Quintin lately."

"No promises."

 _-CRASH-_

Ah, there's the kind of crash I hear more often. Only this time, it's accompanied by a couple dozen firecrackers going off and clouds of fog billowing in from outside. Wow, the weather was clear only a minute ago.

' _Well, that's Grand Line for you.'_

"Gooooooood morning! Are we ready to get to work? I know I am!"

"Hi, Franky! Thank you for coming, as always," I beam at him, "Lu, mind showing him the damage?"

"Sure! C'mon, Franky, it's the kitchen," he grabs onto the tall man and leads him back, smiling happily, "You should've seen the explosion, I think it was my biggest one yet!"

"Impressive!"

"Why does everyone have it out for my café," I sigh to my tea.

As he passes Ace, Franky ruffles his hair and gives him a thumbs up.

"Chin up, bro! It's a beautiful day today."

He tries to hide it, but I can see him smile into his coffee mug.

* * *

 **10:20 am**

By the thirteenth sigh that issues from Ace, who has his head on the counter, chin resting on the wood, I decide that today is not a day to give him his space. There are times and places for that, but not now. Since Luffy left some time ago and he's been slowly descending into mope-mode that he'll get into every so often.

I look up from my Sudoku game.

"What do you call a sad fruit?"

"What."

"What," I repeat slowly, "Do you call. A sad fruit."

He glances up at me with the look of someone who knows a stupendously dumb punchline is coming but can do nothing to stop it.

"…I don't know," he finally caves and I grin.

" _Melon_ choly."

His head lolls to the side so that his cheek is squished against the countertop; his eyes slip closed as a thin, drawn out sigh escapes through his nostrils. It ends in one of those airy nose almost-laughs before he cracks a smile and peers at me with one eye.

"That's terrible, May."

" _I_ thought it was hilarious."

"No, it's just bad. Really, really bad."

"You still laughed."

He shrugs, but smiles. I pat his rarely sans-hatted-head since it's there and I hardly ever get to do that because the jerk has the audacity to be taller than me. I'm not _that_ short.

A moment of comfortable silence passes as we hear something metal drop in the kitchen and Franky articulate a muffled _'Mother bitch-damnit!'._

"That's a new one," remarks Ace.

"Want some more coffee?" I ask.

"Please."

Chou Chou jumps up next to Ace and plops his head in his lap with an encouraging little ' _boof!'_. Aw, even Chou Chou is trying to cheer up Ace today.

* * *

 **12:45 pm**

Luffy comes rushing in for lunch today (of course accompanied by a loud and cheerful _–CRASH-_ ), towing Torao behind him.

"May! Food! Ace! Tra-guy!"

"Huh? What about him?" Ace raises an eyebrow at the two; Law raises an opposing brow in return.

"He's here to make you better," Luffy states, dragging Law to his brother's side.

"But I'm fine."

"Nooo, you're having a day," he immediately calls Ace out on his lie, "But, Traffy's a doctor, so he can fix you."

"I'm neither a psychologist nor a psychiatrist, and Ace-ya appears to be in fine physical health, so there's nothing I can do," the doctor informs the teen, much to his crestfallen disappointment.

"I'm fine," Ace brushes him off.

"Probably not," he mutters off to the side.

"Tra-La, shut your mouth. I bet your sock drawer is color coordinated," Ace bites at him.

"No," he says, a bit _too_ defensively, "Is that the best insult you can come up with?"

"SO," I interrupt them loudly, "Today's Middle Name Pride Day. How interesting is that?"

"Super interesting!" Luffy jumps in, "Woo, Middle Name Pride!"

"Are you kidding me? Who comes up with these things?" asks Law.

"Who knows?" I shrug with a small laugh, "But it's a thing, and it's happening, so why not celebrate it? Do you have a middle name, Law?"

"Yes."

"Wellllllll~?" Luffy pokes him when he doesn't continue, "Tell us!"

"D. Water."

"Dewater? What kind of name is that?"

"No, the D. is separate."

The brothers look at him in shock.

"What?! You're a D. as well?!"  
"Why didn't you tell us?!"

"It's a family name, it's nothing special," it's his turn to shrug aloofly.

"Really? I thought D. was only our family," says Ace.

"But you two aren't even brothers—"  
"Torao, you're related to us?!" Luffy cuts me off excitedly.

"I sincerely hope not."

"It's totally possible, since I don't know who my dad is!" Luffy carries on in wonder.

"Why do you all have a letter as your middle name? I've never asked, but isn't it weird?" I get a cup of coffee for Law since he's been eyeing the coffee pot behind me for a while, "Doesn't it stand for anything?"

"Excuse _me,_ Miss May _E._ Lily," snaps Law; for someone who tries to act all cool and haughty all the time, he sure does get pissy. It's kind of hilarious to watch.

"Excuse _you,_ the E stands for Evangeline."

"Then why don't you say that when you give people your full name," he asks, adding an offhand 'thank you' to the side as I hand him his coffee, "Actually, why do you give your full name to strangers all the time, that's a dangerous habit."

"It's only polite, Law."

"It's 'cause Trafalafel doesn't know manners," Luffy tells Ace and I 'discreetly'. Meaning here, not at all.

"I hate you all.

"Nah, you know you love us."

He settles for giving us a one-finger salute as he drinks his coffee.

* * *

 **3:00 pm**

Ace has decided to bug Mihawk since he came in to the café earlier. As soon as he stepped through the doorway (soundlessly, mind you; seriously, how does he do it?), he sat down next to him and started bombarding the man with heavy questions about life.

"But, do you ever think that if you hadn't been born in the first place it might have been better?"

With the chair scraping against the floor, Hawky throws down his newspaper that he has been distracted from and stands up abruptly, fed up with the depressing questions loaded onto him.

"You are way too goddamn young to be having this mid-life existential crisis," he throws over his shoulder as he storms out, to which Ace responds, "Yes I can, I have at least one a day!" before the door slams closed.

"Do you need a Hawaiian shirt?" I ask tentatively into the silence he leaves behind.

"No, I don't think so. Why would I cover up the only good thing about me?"

"Ace…"

"'Cause I'm a worthless piece of shit, but at least I've got a hot bod," he laughs.

" _Ace._ "

He finally looks up at me, the unhappy smile falling off his face.

"…Just kidding," he tries without any conviction to play it off.

A heavy sigh makes its way out as I shuffle over to him and catch his eyes.

"No, you're not," I tell him, "But Ace, you're not worthless. You're a wonderful, caring person and you're always looking out for others around you. I can't magically tell you to stop feeling like this, but there's so many people who care about you in return."

"I know," he mumbles, shoulders hunching and hair falling over his eyes, "It's just…hard sometimes to convince myself that they actually like me and want me around and would give a damn if I were gone."

"They would. I would, too," I give his cheek a small pat, "…So, want to watch a lot of corny old musicals tonight? I promise lots of cozy blankets and popcorn."

His eyes meet mine again and he manages a small smile.

"Sounds like a plan."

"Yo! Ace-bro!" We turn to see Franky's head poking through the kitchen door, "I had to pull up and replace a buncha damaged wood, and there's a lot left. Wanna burn it up?"

If there is anything that can lift Ace's mood, it's anything involving fire. Especially if it involves burning things.

"Hell yeah!" he whoops and in a heartbeat is following Franky with a childish grin.

"Wait a sec— _not in the café!"_

* * *

 **7:00 pm**

"May, please for the love of god, get a new laptop," Marco groans in exasperation as my fossil of a computer chugs through the video buffering for the fourth time in half an hour.

I called in an emergency movie night for maximum movie-night-comfort. The good majority of the Whitebeard family is crammed into my home around the ancient laptop with assorted blankets, pillows, stuffed animals, bowls of popcorn, and the like.

"It's not dead yet," I puff in defense.

"Then it needs to be put out of its misery," Izo says, "For its sake and ours."

"And how in the world am I going to afford a new laptop, huh?"

"Who said you needed to buy anything? Just break into the nearest-"

"Shh! It's starting again!" Thatch shushes Haruta as Singin' In the Rain resumes, and we all quiet down. Except Oyaji who is snoring—quite loudly—like he has been since the first opening credits.

Luffy tries to stick his finger inside Pop's gaping mouth, only to have the aged man swat him away with a mighty hand (Luffy gets bodily knocked over), give a loud _snrk!_ , and continue to snore peacefully, the bristles of his white moustache fluttering gently.

Ace leans back between my legs to recline on my chest and I rest my chin on top of his head.

"Thanks for this," he says lowly; I rub his head reassuringly with my chin.

"Anytime."

"We've always got your back, bro," Curiel states, dropping down besides us with a drink after tossing a blanket over Pop.

"Anything for our little brother," says Bay-neesan, lightly punching his shoulder.

"No problem, yoi."

"Will you brats shut up? You're making me miss the movie."

" _You've been asleep this entire time, Pops!"_

* * *

 **12 March/Saturday/3:00 am**

I hum quietly as I shimmy out from being Ace's body pillow and lean him gently against Curiel, whom he immediately curls around instead. I tuck Oyaji's blanket around him more securely and pat Marco's head. Take a moment to admire Whitey Bay-neesan.

' _She's pretty even when she's asleep!'_

Then I hop as quietly as I can back to my room to get ready for the day—put on some fresh clothes and a new cardigan, brush my hair quickly, brush my teeth.

Something catches my eye, peeking out from under my bed and I hobble over to see what it is. Ah, of course it's the box with my favorite Hawaiian shirt hanging loosely off of it. I threw it there yesterday without really thinking about. I was a bit preoccupied with the explosion. And slightly drunk.

But whatever.

I fold it up neatly this time and lovingly tuck it into its place in the old, battered, many-layers-of-duct-taped box. One of the two photos inside it winks up at me and I pull it out with a fond smile.

A beautiful woman with a halo of flowing blond hair and _the_ most _hideous_ earrings ever smiles up at the camera and next to her, a small child with short, raggedly-cut hair stares up with a determinedly and mildly confused expression.

"Morning, mom," I tell the old photo softly, "I'm ready to start a new day."

I give the picture a little pat and put it back in the box, right next to the hideous earrings that were in the photograph, remembering when I first met her.

" _Good morning sweetie, how are you?...the doctor says….can you tell me your name?...Well, that's okay. My name is Evangeline, but I don't like that name, so call me Eve, or just E is fine."_

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a!** **Oh my gosh, I think I'm turning into May. I didn't get my coffee at all today and I had such a bad headache by the afternoon x~x It made me think about May when she doesn't get her tea for a long time and almost laughed, but then I was in pain because. Headache. Shut up, I don't have a coffee problem.**

 **Mkay, thanks for reading!**

 **-jj**


	57. Chapter 53: In Which There Is Pink

**13 March/Sunday/5:00 am**

When I step into the café this morning and turn on the lights, it takes me more than a couple of dumbfounded moments to mentally process what greets my eyes.

The only words to describe it are: Halloween store meets fairy princess tea party.

"What in the holy fu-?!"  
"Good morning!"

Screaming bloody murder, I pivot around on my good leg to face the person that snuck up behind me.

"I've decided that you're my new underling. I remade your _quaint_ little coffeeshop so that it's much cuter! How do you like it? Oh, what am I talking about, of course you like it!" I'm left speechless in the face of the girl that was in here a few days ago—the pink one—and the flood of words that crashes over me and also because she scared the living daylights out of me, "But now, we have to do something about your appearance. You're _almost_ cute, but you need some adjustments. First thing's first, we have to get rid of that positively drab sweater."

* * *

Across the street, Mr. Goro wakes up and wonders where the distant screaming is coming from. But, when he looks at the clock and sees what ungodly hour of the morning it is, he shrugs and goes back to sleep.

The cops can deal with it and he can deny any knowledge if a body turns up.

* * *

 **8:00 am**

When Luffy comes in this morning, I make a desperate hop-dash for freedom.

"Lu! Help while she's distracted decorating my crutches, I'm being held prisoner!" I cry, reaching out for him.

"May?! Why the hell do you look like a Loli school girl with daddy issues?" he asks in confusion, then looks around, "Did I walk into the wrong place? Oh, that must be it. Sorry, lady, I mistook you and this place for somewhere else."

"No, Luffy, it's me! You have to help," I plead, "This crazy teen girl showed up and is making me make her sweet stuff and hot chocolate nonstop."

"Tell her to go away," he says as if it's the simplest thing in the world.

"I can't! Teenagers are scary!"

The girl, Perona as I've learned her name is, redecorated the café while I was asleep. Everything is either black or pink and looks like a sappy Victorian gothic-romance novel drank too much and proceeded to hurl its guts all over it. The next makeover victim was the café's owner (meaning me); for such a dainty-looking girl, Perona was able to carry me all the way back upstairs, where she pushed me into a black shirt and white tie (which I think was Brook's), my pink cardigan, and a skirt I'm fairly sure is from Nami's briefly-lived private school days. To top it off, I have the one thigh high sock back and Hufa Weituo Zuntian Pusa is wrapped up in a long pink ribbon (where did it even come from?) tied off into a bow "because this hideous cast isn't cute."

Luffy grabs my arms to steady me as I totter off balance standing on one foot.

"What? Teens aren't scary."

"Chopper when he's had too much coffee and Nami."

"Fair point."

"Mayyy-chan!" I stiffen at the bubbly voice that calls for me, "Why are you out here? You said you were going to make double chocolate chip fudge cookies for me next."

"But, you've already tried forty-two different cookies, Perona," I say timidly, trying to shuffle behind Luffy for a shield.

"So? I only eat sweets and pastries. Everything else isn't worth my time."

"Scary," Luffy shudders quietly.

"Wait, Luffy, don't leave me on my own," I protest as he turns to leave, but I can't stop him as he raises and hand and smiles disarmingly at me.

"I'm sure you can handle this on your own, May, see you around!"

" _Traitor!_ "

"Come on, underling, back to the kitchen." I sigh as Perona picks me back up without breaking a sweat, "Those cookies aren't going to make themselves! And while you do that, we can discuss how amazing and pretty I am."

* * *

 **10:30 am**

"…And it would be super cute if you did your hair like this."

At this point, I've resigned myself to my fate as a prisoner. Perona stands behind me, brushing my hair into two pigtails while I try to concentrate on my Sudoku puzzle, but I can slowly feel my vitality draining from my body and leaving me lifeless. Chou Chou has run off somewhere and hidden himself after Perona caught sight of him and tied a pink bow around his neck (seriously, where is she pulling all these ribbons from?)

The bell rings as Nami steps into the café. She stops just inside the doorway and gives me an appraising look.

"Schoolgirl May? I'm into it," she mutters; I didn't quite catch what she said, but it doesn't matter because I need her help.

"Nami, help," I implore her soullessly, having no energy.

"Excuse you, only cute people are allowed in here," Perona says haughtily as she arranges the rest of my hair into a second ponytail.

Nami's eyebrow raises in affronted question.

"May, who is this?"

"And you're not allowed to talk to May-chan. She's _my_ subordinate," the teen wraps her arms around my neck possessively. Wat did I ever do for this to happen to me?

" _Your_ subordinate? She's _my_ friend," Nami's brow inches closer to her hairline. She doesn't seem to be receiving the S.O.S signals I'm sending her telepathically, but then she looks back to me, probably deciding that arguing isn't worth her time, "Whatever. I told Vivi to meet up here so we could spend some time together, the three of us, but if you're busy May, I can tell her to cancel..."

"No, please don't leave, Nami!"

She smirks over my shoulder at Perona as if victorious and I can feel the girl leaning on my shoulders bristle.

The bell jingles merrily once more and Vivi strolls in cheerfully.

"Hello!" my young friend pulls up short just behind Nami and gives me the same appraising look did when she stepped in, "…I'm into it. I mean—May, I…love what you've done with the place?"

She looks around the room, noticing it for the first time, her face saying just how much to the contrary she means that. There have been many people like that today, but they simply took one step inside then made an about face and were out of here.

Like Zoro.

He came by earlier and when Perona called out to him (I guess they know each other?) he muttered a quiet "Oh fuck no," and was out the door.

Anyway, I refocus back on my friends from my little space out to see them kneeling, hunched over on the floor with gloomy clouds hanging over them.

"What the…?"

"Horohorohoro, that's what I thought!" Perona stands over them with an air of grand superiority, "Feel your inferiorness and fall into despair!"

Seriously. What did I ever do?

* * *

 **12:20 pm**

Business has been all but stagnant today. Nami and Vivi have stuck around, I guess trying to get rid of Perona, but she is unmovable as the old dried up gum on the pavement outside the café. Each time they've tried to stand up to her has landed them in the same spot: on the floor, depressed and wishing that they are reborn as lowly centipedes or some such creature.

Perona has that effect on people, I've noticed. It's spooky almost.

I don't think I've experienced it in the way that Nami and Vivi and the occasional person that has wandered in has, because I don't particularly feel bad about myself, but the longer Perona has been here, the more energy I feel myself losing, probably from how many things I've had to bake for her.

"May, why do you look like a Loli school girl with daddy issues?"

Nami, Vivi, and I look up at the voice to find Usopp at Nami's elbow. We've reached the point where our souls have physically left our corporeal bodies, and we're all sitting with our heads on Quintin. Perona mercifully got a phone call and has been wrapped up it in for a while. From what we can hear, it sounds like she's arguing with a parent or someone.

"Usopp, save yourself," moans Nami, the pink bow Perona carelessly placed on her almost as an afterthought tumbling onto Quintin's surface, "You don't stand a chance against her."

"Whoa, you guys okay?" he asks, "What happened? Talk to me!"

"Can't…No strength…Currently dead," I groan out as he frantically jostles my shoulder.

"Wait May, don't die!"

"Too late. Give my Hawaiian shirts to Franky…someone feed Chou Chou…and Luffy."

"Hmph! Stupid uncute uncle, doesn't know what he's talking about!" Perona harrumphs as she comes back into the room, "I'm a lady, I can take care of myself in a big city. Anywho, May-chan, I feel like pie now. Cherry is my favorite, so that will do."

"Ew, what is wrong with her?" Vivi mutters under her breath, "She likes _cherry_ pie?"

Wow, I got a strong wave of familiarity just now. Perona must have heard her though, because she turns sharply to her, hands on her hips.

"I'm better than you in every way," she scoffs.

Vivi is down for the count instantaneously, crying a soft "She's right!" into Quintin.

"This is what happened to you guys?" Usopp questions skeptically, "You let some shallow girl get into your heads?"

"You think you can stand against me?" the pink-haired girl's attention snaps to him, "Since you simpletons seem to be intent on taking my new underling from me, I'll make it clear once and for all that I'm better than you all and you mean nothing."

"Ah! I see, you make people feel bad by hitting their self-esteem. That's why you were able to defeat Nami and Vivi, but that's where I have the advantage!" he states confidently, striking an impressive pose, shocking Perona.

"What? How are you resisting falling into self-loathing and depression?"

"Got some news for you, bitch, I'm always self-loathing and depressed, I'm just so used to it that I can hide it with a bullshit façade!" declares Usopp.

"What the hell?" Perona screeches at him, losing her control, "That's not something to be proud of, idiot!"

"You know it," he snaps his fingers and shoots her a snarky grin; she looks stricken, "Now leave my friends alone."

"Fine, I don't care!" she says, but her voice breaks as she turns on her heel to leave.

"Wait, Perona!" I stand up, but can't make any movement to her because the glue keeping the sparkles on my crutches is still drying and I can't use them, "You don't have to leave, Usopp wants you to stop treating our friends the way you are."

"But what about _me_? Why aren't you defending _me_?" she sniffs, "I wanted to know you because your cake was really yummy, so I thought you could be my subordinate and make me sweets, and I could do your hair and make you cute-" she can't continue due to the loud sob that stutters out of her.

"...So, you want to be friends?" I ask; she gazes up at me with large watery eyes.

"Friends?"

"Yes," I smile at her, "Do you want to be friends?"

 _Sniff, sniff._

With a few watery, shuddering breaths, she collects herself and wipes her eyes.

"Well, I suppose if you're desperate enough to be my friend, I'll take pity on you," she says, the tears all but gone as if they were never there, "…You'll still make me sweets, though, right?"

"I'd love to."

* * *

 **4:00 pm**

"Tell me: how do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Make people feel so powerless, it's incredible."

Now that we've all calmed down and the hostilities have ceased, we're enjoying a lovely afternoon tea party. Nami and Perona have hit it off quite nicely, surprisingly enough.

"I always strive to be so beautiful and flawless that everyone else hates themselves. The key is to be as condescending and self-assured as possible," Perona and Nami takes notes.

"Amazing," she marvels, absorbed in her writing.

"What I want to know is how you get such a nice tan," Perona admires her skin, "I've been trying to get one forever, but all I get is a sunburn."

"Sorry, it's natural, I don't know what to tell you."

Luffy leans on my shoulder to whisper in my ear.

"Isn't this the girl that was holding you hostage today?" he asks.

"Yeah, but we're cool now," I whisper back to him, and the remember something, "Oh, but Lu, there's something you should know. She likes cherry pie."

"WHAT?!" he bursts out, startling everyone around the table, "You like cherry pie?! Get out of my sight! You can't sit with us and have a meal if you like _cherry pie!_ "

"Luffy! What did we discuss about accepting that people have different tastes!"

"I don't care! I'm not going to be friends with a dirty cherry pie eater!"

After we manage to calm down Luffy (although I am _pretty_ sure it's because Sanji spiked his food with something), we have a good evening.

Zoro won't say how he and the pink-haired girl know each other. That means, it's probably best not to ask.

Or maybe, it's an embarrassing story that I can use to blackmail either of them, which in that case of course I'll need to find out their history.

We'll see, we'll see…

* * *

 **Author's Corner:** **Hey-a! I can never thank you guys enough for reading this. I'm going to answer a quick lil' review here for The Spade Queen-I've had a couple people now say that my story here has brightened their day when they're having a rough time. I'm ceaselessly amazed and absolutely fucking inspired that I can do that for you guys. Whether it's a bad day or you're having a difficult school year, you gotta muscle through it. Just know that better times are coming, you can be sure of that. If I can help you in some small way to get there, there's nothing that would make me happier. Stay lovely everyone.**

 **Stick around!**

 **-jj**


	58. Chapter 54: In Which There Are Gifts

**Author's Corner: Hey-a! I can never thank you guys enough for reading this. I'm going to answer a quick lil' review here for The Spade Queen: I've had a couple people now say that my story here has made them laugh or brightened their day when they're having a rough time. I'm ceaselessly amazed and absolutely fucking inspired that I can do that for you guys. Whether it's a bad day or you're having a difficult school year, you just gotta muscle through it; better times are coming, you can be sure of that. If I can help you in some small way to get there, there's nothing that would make me happier. I'm going to work harder for this story, so you try your best too, okay? :D Stay lovely everyone.**

 **Stick around!**

 **-jj**

* * *

 **14 March/Monday/7:00 am**

 _-BOOM-_

The first thing I wake up to is a deafening clap of thunder followed quickly by Chou Chou howling and jumping straight onto my face in a panic.

" _Ppffffflllllbt!"_

And that would be me inhaling a mouthful of white dog fur.

"Sh, sh, shh!" I peel him off my face and rub his head soothingly as he whimpers; I didn't think Chou Chou is scared of thunder, but maybe it startled him from his sleep, "It's okay."

I sit up in bed and take a blurry look out the window—the sky is dark and cloudy with a promise of rain and the threat of more thunder. My phone buzzes and I glance down at it.

From Nami:

' _By the way, thunderstorms all throughout today. Aqua Laguna week is starting.'_

I also see that I have over fifty messages from Luffy, but I choose to ignore that for now in favor of settling Chou Chou on my head where I can carry him around with me but keep my hands free since I can feel him shaking still.

" _Don't know why there's no sun up in the sky!"_ I sing out loudly, and I think I startled Chou Chou out of his quivering, " _Stormy weather!"_

He starts whining lowly at me and I laugh.

"Well, you're not thinking about the thunder anymore, are you?"

I shove my glasses onto my face, throw my legs over the side of the bed, and cram my feet into the fluffy panda slippers waiting on the floor. I only pause to slip on a cardigan, not bothering with my hair, before I try to beat my record of getting down the stairs with Skanda today.

I pick up my crutches that still have some glitter clinging to them despite my best efforts to rub it off after Perona left last night. At least I convinced her to restore the café to how it was before she redid it, but she did leave a few pink and black bows scattered about. Well, I don't mind a couple of them.

The sky rumbles lowly outside, the sounds reverberating through my home, I can feel it through the floorboards. As I wait for my tea, I watch a downpour of rain start instantaneously.

Passerbys in the streets run through the buckets of water to safety and it's not long before Red Line looks like a river.

A couple of people on jet skis pass the café towing some water skiers.

The thunder rumbles on and I take a sip of tea.

' _Ah, what a good start to the day.'_

- _CRASH-_

Wait, that doesn't sound like thunder.

"May! Food!"

Oh, of course it's Luffy, wearing his yellow raincoat (but still in his sandals) and grinning from ear to ear. However, rather than leaping over the counter like he usually will, he grinds to a halt and points a finger accusingly at me.

"Hey! Who the heck are you and why are you in May's café? What have you done with her?"

"Wha-? Luffy, it's me!"

"Huh?" he squints suspiciously, trying to recognize me, "Oh, I guess it is. Haha, I didn't recognize you with your hair down!"

"Have to because of Chou Chou," I point to the dog on top of my head; I couldn't put it up with him in the way, but I'm fine with that, "I think the thunder startled him this morning."

"It's O.K., Chou Chou," Luffy tells him reassuringly, "Thunder's just a big scary-sounding noise, it can't actually hurt you. Anyway, May! Food! But also, do you know what day it is?"

He grins in excitement as I try to think.

"Ahhhh…the fourteenth?"

"Yes? Annnnd~?" he prods.

"Uh…Pi Day? Oh, sorry Luffy, but since we already celebrated National Pie Day I didn't want to do a repeat."

"No, silly!" he laughs as we walk side by side into the kitchen, "It's White Day!"

The lightbulb above my head goes off as I flip the light switches and I return his smile.

"Right! I always forget about that one."

"Well, this is for you!" Unable to contain his enthusiasm anymore, he presents a small, badly wrapped box to me.

"Aw, Lu, you shouldn't have," I cry in pleasant surprise, pausing in pulling down the cooking oil to accept the gift.

The sloppily taped paper comes off and I open the box to see an expensively large-looking golden necklace inside.

"Whoa," I whistle lowly, "Luffy, this isn't real, is it?"

His smile grows and he nods. I look back at the necklace, stunned.

"You won't believe how I got it," he starts, hopping up to take a seat on the counter since he can't hang off of me still and I carefully set the box next to him, "I ran into Wyper and Laki a while ago, and we went to Skypiea again. Long story short, I almost drowned—,"

" _Are you okay?!"_

"Totally. Anyway, before they pulled me out of the water, I saw something shiny at the bottom of the pool, and when they went to check it out, they found a lotta ancient artifacts that belonged to their ancestors and have been missing for years! They reclaimed all of it, and as thanks for helping them find it, they gave me a few trinkets. You should've seen Robin when I gave her one—you know how she gets over historic shit. She almost fainted. Nami _did_ when I gave her one! Hancock, too, shishishi"

"Thanks," I give him a squeeze and quickly make up breakfast for the two of us.

We sit, chatting about whatever comes to mind this lazy morning, and watch the happenings of Grand Line on a rainy day. There have been a couple more people enjoying varied water sports and a few Yagara bulls usually only found in the portside districts have floated by as well.

"How are you feeling, by the way?" I ask him, "Are you healed up yet?"

"Yup," he says, assuaging my worries, "All better. That stupid crocodile didn't have anything on me! Now all we need to do is have you get better and everything will be alright again."

I smile and ruffle his hair which he laughs at; such a sweet kid, being all concerned and whatnot.

* * *

 **10:00 am**

Chou Chou has calmed down enough for me to put him down, but I'm feeling too unproductive today to go back upstairs and grab a hair tie, so the hair remains down. When it's not tied up, my hair falls well past my waist, something I'm quite proud of.

Luffy is sitting on top of Quintin, randomly plucking at a ukulele that he, for some bizarre reason, found in my coat closet. He's making up songs about the unfortunate souls that pass by the window caught in the rain, and it's great entertainment to listen to while I play Sudoku.

" _And the great tall man with the pointy hair like horns, He fights bulls and then goes home a eats corn, But when he fights bulls, no one knows which one is the bull and which one is a man, 'Cause his hair looks like hoooorms~!"_

I applaud the latest song as Luffy ends with a rapid strumming of the ukulele and devolves into giggles. The bell rings out as a soaked Law steps in, looking very grumpled and as previously stated, very wet. In his arms is Bepo, also looking put out and soaked and less like a dog every day.

" _Traffy-Lala looks like a half-drowned cat~,"_ sings Luffy, extremely off key, " _Mostly because of his fluffy hat."_

"Oo, you rhymed!" I praise him, "Nice one!"

" _Thank yoooou~!"_

Without preamble, Law snatches the instrument out of the teen's hands and chucks it into the corner.

"Wow, Law. Dick move," I comment dryly.

"I never noticed you were such a meanie," Luffy sticks his tongue out at him.

"I've always been this way," he says, "Coffee, please."

"That's okay," Luffy bounces right back to his happy demeanor quickly, then literally bounces over to retrieve the thrown ukulele, "We still love you. We're all kind of dicks anyway, so you fit right in."

He retunes the strings, plucks a few—they're now more out of tune than ever before—he beams in satisfaction and carries on playing aimlessly. Law looks around the café.

"There's a lot less flowers in here."

"Yup," I nod, filling up a cup for him, "They were wilting so I had Luffy clear them out. But, I'm keeping the ones that were sent in pots."

"Mine are still the best!" Luffy proclaims, shuffling the lilies so that they're more in the front of the counter, displacing the cherry blossom bonsai that Chopper gave me earlier today.

It was super cute because he was hiding behind the counter bashfully when he presented it to me, then ran away spewing insults before I could thank him. Besides the bonsai, a growing collection of White Day gifts sits: a pearl bracelet from Nami, a large stuffed animal from Robin that looks like a cross between a lion and a flower, a small robot from Franky that looks remarkably like Robin's gift only with a white petal-mane and a humanoid body in a speedo that says 'Superrr~!' when you press the nose, a hand-crafted omamari from Zoro, and a few other things from my friends. It seems like everyone remembered today except for me.

"I do love them a lot," I pinch his cheek as I hand off Law's coffee to him, "Would you mind running up and grabbing some towels for Bepo and Torao?"

"Okay! I'll be back lightning fast!"

"So why is Bepo with you today?" I ask him as he sets the 'dog' on the counter and Luffy dashes through the kitchen door; a sizeable puddle starts to form around Bepo.

"The thunder scared him," he explains, taking a seat at the counter as well; I can hear the quiet _drip! drip!_ of water landing on the floor as a sizeable puddle starts to form around _him,_ "Apologies for the mess."

"S'fine," I wave him off, "It was bound to happen with this weather."

He rummages around in his pocket momentarily, then holds out his clenched fist to me. I stare at it vaguely, befuddled about what I'm supposed to do.

"Hold out you hand," he orders impatiently when I simply blink at him quizzically.

Not understanding what he's asking for, I give him a fist bump.

His eye twitches and he snatches my wrist as I retract my hand, turning it palm-up. Inside it, he places a silver chain with a tiny, realistic heart inside a lightly blue-tinted glass box.

"For White Day," he says.

"Ooo, this is kinda creepy, but kinda pretty," I study it in wonder, "Thank you so much!"

I look up at him from the necklace with a wide grin.

"From the bottom of my _heart._ "

For a moment, he looks downright stupefied that I would make such a terrible joke. I mean _really_ dumbfounded.

"Get it?" I nudge his shoulder across the counter, my smile becoming more impish.

"That was awful," he's covering his eyes, but I can hear the _slightest_ hint of laughter in his voice.

"Towel tackle!"

All of a sudden, Luffy is hurdling over the counter, a towel in his outstretched hands. Law barely has time to look up in surprise when the material slams into his face, succeeded directly by a giggling teen. They go crashing to the floor magnificently and all I can do is stand there, shocked.

That lasts all of two seconds before I lose control and start laughing.

There's never a boring moment with my friends.

* * *

 **12:30 pm**

Of all people that would come here on a Monday, Kidd steps in half an hour after Luffy left from lunch, his fluffy coat shielding something in his arms from the torrent of rain. When he sets whatever it is on the counter to reveal it and then rings out his coat, a flood of water comes streaming out of it, straight to the floor.

"Holy cow, that is a small lake."

"I'll clean that up," he says brusquely, "But this is for you."

The thing that his coat was protecting (and it must be a very thick coat because it's completely dry) is a bouquet of metal roses and his blue cat which is curled up around them and looking resentful about the weather.

"They're lovely! Wow, where did you get them?"

"I made them," he says with a note of pride as Heat steps up to me and begins nudging my arm with his head; I bet Red brought him because he was scared of the thunder, too.

"Are you serious? That's mind-blowing. You have such a talent!"

"It's whatever," he dismisses my compliment with a shrug of his heavy shoulders.

I ' _hmph!'_ indignantly.

"What's with you people and downplaying your skills. Usopp did the exact same thing, and look at what he was able to do," I pull out the large canvas that was leaning against the counter on my side and show Kidd the gorgeous painting my friend made of me lounging on a fur rug surrounded by jewels and gold, like a portrait you would see above a super-rich person's fireplace and I love immensely.

"Holy shit," is all he can say.

"Right? You guys are amazing, it's not 'whatever'," I tell him sternly.

He seems to take notice of something when he looks back up from the painting, grabbing Heat by the scruff of his neck and pulling him away from me.

"Your hair is down."

I raise an eyebrow at him, asking him what his point is.

"It's weird."

"Your face is weird," I huff, "Do you want a towel or some coffee?"

"Both please. Crazy weather, huh?"

"That's Grand Line for you."

* * *

 **4:12 pm**

I jump in the middle of trying to reach my pen that rolled off the counter with one of my crutches while kneeling precariously over the top of the counter, concentrating hard, when the front door crashes open with a – _BANG-,_ kicked by a heavy-booted foot.

"Yo, May!" Ace calls enthusiastically—wearing a shirt for once to cover himself from the rain—carrying a large crate with several holes in it and followed by other zoo workers, all carrying similar crates and grinning excitedly.

"Hi," I respond weakly, laying in a crumpled heap at the base of the counter; well, at least I can reach my pen now.

Before I can even help myself up though, my friends set down their loads with growing smiles and unleash the contents of the boxes at me. I squeal in delight as all sorts of furry and fluffy and feathery creatures look around in a daze and then all at once rush at me.

"Happy White Day!" they all cheer as I'm overrun by the animals.

"T-This is—oh my gosh—wow—there's so many—" I stumble over my words as I pick up a small fox-like creature to coo over it, then immediately set it down in favor for the koala bear slowly climbing up my cast, and upon seeing a bear koala pawing at my side, squeak and pick that one up as several colorful birds settle on my shoulders and head and ever more cute creatures shimmy onto my lap; I want to hug all of them at once, I wish I had more arms for this!

"Aw, May, don't cry!" Jiru laughs as they all step over (carefully avoiding the animals) and join me on the floor.

"I can't help it! They're so cute!"" I sob, overcome with joy.

"Well, I think we can consider this gift successful," Izo says with a warm smile, "If May is this moved by it."

"You guys! I love you so much!" I can hardly speak through the happy tears that are welling up; someone holds a tissue to my face since my hands are full of the most adorable animals. Numerous cold and wet noses poke and sniff at me curiously, tickling me, "This is…wow."

"We have to show our appreciation for May sometime!"  
"Yeah, she's our precious little sister after all."

I sniff, trying to bring it back together while more and more animals crawl over me.

I can't; these guys are just so great and I'm so lucky to have them.

"Wah! May, don't break down again, it's not _that_ amazing of a gift!"

"Agh, wait a minute, the animals like her too much, they're suffocating her!"  
"Quick, get them off her! Who said this was a good idea?!"  
" _Ace!"_  
" _Don't blame me, you guys agreed it was good!"_

Really—I couldn't be luckier.


	59. Chapter 54-5: Gifts Bonus

**SO WHAT IS THE FOOP UP MY LOVELY AND AMAZING AND SO-PATIENT-HOLYSHI-IDON'T-DESERVE-YOU READERS?! I just uploaded five (technically four and a half) chapters. I'm so sorry I let this go so long, but life took over and I took a week off of writing, which turned into a month, which turned into two months, and now two and a half. I cannot thank you guys enough for sticking around and all the nice comments I've gotten. So, I have an announcement: as I'm catching up (for realsies this time) I can no longer keep up with responding to comments. You guys are just so wonderful and nice, that there's no way I can reasonably reply to each of them in the updates. Please, by all means leave comments still, but unless you ask me to respond directly (through PM), I can no longer do it. I'm sorry to all the guests/anons that this will put me out of contact with, but hey! I use my tumblr pretty often, so you can come talk to me over there, I don't bite (and also, you can get updates from me over there) or you can PM me here (I promise I won't judge if you come out of anonymity)**

 **Thank you guys so, so much for sticking around, I am tickled every day that people truly enjoy my silly story that I post here. Stay beautiful, you beautiful person you!**

* * *

 **14 March/Monday/6:45 pm**

When Luffy and the rest of my close friends come tumbling in, laughing exuberantly this evening, I just know that I'm in for an adventure tonight.

"May! Nami says the rain water's gonna freeze over in Drum!" Luffy can barely put a lid on his enthusiasm, "We're going ice skating, so c'mon!"

"Someone grab me a coat!"

Chopper dashes up the stairs and comes back down within seconds, childish excitement sparkling in his eyes, quickly helps me slip into my large coat (which I'm…90% sure actually _is_ mine) and a pair of earmuffs (which definitely _aren't_ mine), I pick up Chou Chou, and we're rushing out the door to squeeze into Franky's ridiculously huge Hummer. There we sit, thirteen of us packed into a vehicle meant to comfortably seat five. Luffy sits on the armrest between Robin and Franky in the front seat, Robin with Nami on her lap, Chopper, Brook and Law take up the backseat, Vivi in Chopper's lap, Usopp half-sitting on both Brook and Chopper, Zoro and Sanji on the floor and me sitting on Law with my legs thrown over the rest of the people on the seats while Ace is in the very back, looking over Law's shoulder and none of us can stop laughing at the ridiculousness of it.

"Go, go, go!" Luffy crows, and we're shooting off down Red Line, the car creating miniature tidal waves as we rush through the water still pouring down the streets.

When we're nearly at the Drum district (instead of rain, a steady downfall of snow is building up), Ace suddenly calls for Franky to stop. He leans out of a window and yells at someone.

"Smoker!" he shouts, his entire torso hanging outside, "What's up, you hot bitch? Get in the car, we're going ice-skating!"

The policeman whips around at the sound of his name and his eyes narrow dangerously at the man.

"Portgas, the _fuck_ did you just call me-?!"

"Get in the car!" Luffy lunges out of the front (quite the feat considering he had to leap over both Robin and Nami), taking the white-haired man by surprise to latch onto him and drag him inside, causing an uproar in the back since it's already so crowded.

"What the hell?!"

"Luffy!" several people yell.

"Good afternoon, officer," Robin greets the newcomer calmly from the front.

"Drive, Franky!" laughs the teen many people in the car are still yelling at.

"Yosh!"

" _This is assaulting and kidnapping of an officer, let me out of this car!_ "

"Nope~!"

The wild ride takes us all the way to the Drum district where we fall, some of us laughing, others not so much, out of the car onto the freshly formed ice.

"So! Who's ready for some ice-skating? Let's goooo!"

* * *

 **8:00 pm**

I giggle as Luffy skates circles around the frustrated and quickly-losing-patience Smoker. It turns out that he's not particularly gifted at ice-skating, but he's stuck around despite his grumpy grousings about anything and everything related to ice and boisterous teenagers.

Ace and Zoro are having fun competing who can zip out in front of cars driving down the streets while Nami is helping Vivi move slowly around, the blue-haired girl clutching onto her arm and wobbling like a newly born baby deer on her skates. I'm standing off to the side, enjoying the hot cocoa Sanji had the foresight to bring until someone is free to help me skate, seeing as I only have one useable leg. But it's alright—the chocolate is warm and tasty and perfect for the biting cold.

Chopper expertly scrapes to a stop next to me, showering my feet with a light dusting of ice, clearly happy as can be with rosy cheeks from the chill. He grew up in the North where they constantly have snow, so days like these always remind him of home.

"How's it over here?" he asks, taking a sip of my offered cup.

"Very nice," my breath fans out in front of me like a steam train, and I giggle at it, "It's a little chilly just standing around though."

"Here, take my arm," he lends his much larger hand to me when he hands back the cocoa and I take both with a grateful smile.

He easily pushes us off and I make sure to keep my right leg raised above the ice and let him carry us.

"Chopper!" Usopp shouts out to us, grinning widely, "Pass!"

I don't get what he means until Chopper starts speeding up, pulling me along and finally, yanks me ahead of him only to let go on a direct path for my long-nosed friend. I laugh carelessly as Usopp grabs onto my arms (making sure to keep my hot chocolate balanced) and my momentum sends us sliding back.

"Haha, good one!"

"Nice catch!"

"Oo, me next, me next!" Luffy catches sight of us and claps his hands as if asking for a ball to be thrown to him. My friends play catch with me until Luffy in a moment of overexcitement sends me to Vivi, who is unstable on the ice and we both go crashing to the ground, but it's fun.

An impromptu game of hockey starts up, some champagne that Nami was keeping under her jacket is brought out, and of course being my friends, they had to do something stupid at some point—Zoro thought it was a good idea to have a snow-swimming race which ended up with some of my friends stripped down to their undergarments trying in vain to make headway through piles of snow.

We decide to not do that ever again.

* * *

 **10:00 pm**

As we stand around a bonfire raging inside a street trash bin, sipping on hot cocoa/champagne/any kind of alcohol that resides in the couple of flasks people pulled out of their pockets, I shuffle up next to Smoker, who's lighting two fresh cigars in the flames.

"I'm kinda amazed that you're not arresting anybody," I smile up at him.

"…I'm off today," he says quietly, and then, even quieter, "'Cause it's my birthday."

I'm positively thunderstruck.

"It's your birthday?!" I yell, startling my friends with my outburst, "Why the flipping hell didn't you tell us sooner?"

"It's Smokie's birthday and he didn't tell us?!"

The officer looks genuinely surprised at our outcries.

" _I need to make a cake,_ " I declare.

"May, it's already ten-" Nami starts.  
" _CAKE._ We need to get back to the café! Right now."

"Of course!" Luffy agrees, nodding firmly, "Smokie needs a cake from May today!"

"But, it's past ten-" Zoro says, backing up Nami.  
"Only one thing to do!" Luffy cuts him off this time, pointing a finger in the air, "May's ultra special driving skills for this!"

"Yeah, that'll do it," Ace nods.

"To the car!"

We once again pile into the Hummer, with much protests from Smoker that are overridden, and I slam the gas pedal down.

"Dear god, who gave you your license?" the policeman says from the back as I swerve around stray cars, "It should be revoked."

"What are you talking about? I don't have a license."

" _What."_

"May," Luffy whispers, loudly, over the officer who can hear him perfectly fine, "I don't think you're allowed to drive while intoxicated, so don't tell Smokie you're drunk. He's a policeguy you know."

" _THIS IS A VIOLATION OF SO MANY LAWS, LET ME OUT RIGHT NOW,_ " Smoker yells.

As I run a red light.

"No time! You need a cake."

The borderline hysterical shouting continues all the way down Grand Line until I screech up to my café.

Smoker isn't the only one that falls to his knees on the cement when the car stops and whispers in a horrified voice "Never again."

"Oh come on, it wasn't that bad," Ace smacks his back as I hop inside to start immediately on the birthday cake—there's not much time left!

* * *

 **11:49 pm**

With Sanji helping me, we made a simple yet decadent cake in record time while my friends entertained Smoker (read: kept him from leaving). We bring it out to find that Tashigi-san has joined us.

"Yeah, I stole your phone and called up whoever was on your contact list," Nami says nonchalantly, "Some Hina-lady said she was busy, but this girl said she would come-" "Hello! I am Tashigi! It is nice to meet all of you officially!" "-Why do you only have two people on your contact list besides the police station?"

"Smokie must be anti-social."  
"Or socially inept."  
"Hm yeah, that's probably more likely."

"My social life is none of your business," he growls.

"Well, it doesn't matter 'cause we're your friends now," says Luffy decisively as Sanji sets down the cake and goes to turn off the lights and get the candles (kicking Ace away when he reaches for the matches).

"We're friends?" Smoker asks in bewilderment.

"Isn't it obvious?" I grin at him, "I thought you knew I make all of my friend's birthday cakes. Not just anyone gets a cake from me. Well, unless they're a customer. Anyway!"

I glance around at everyone gathered at Quintin as Sanji lights the candles and we all take a breath as one.

" _Happy Birthday!"_

He covers his face to hide behind it for a moment before he also inhales and blows out the candles in one go, which we cheer to and more alcohol is brought out from somewhere—probably my cabinet.

"Thanks, I suppose," he mumbles.

"Not at all!"

I smile to myself as cake is passed around and he gets asked how old he is now—36 ("That's thirty-six punches!" "Luffy, no!")—and Sanji tries to flirt with Tashigi and is instantly shot down—she's not interested in men. I have a new birthday to add to the calendar now.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Don't drink and drive, kids**

 **-jj**


	60. Chapter 55: In Which There Is A Bird

**16 March/Wednesday/7:00 am**

I think I'm getting better at hopping around the kitchen to get ready, because I manage to get everything set up on time today without help!

The rain has yet to let up and has been falling steadily since Monday. This happens around two times a year, when the weather will remain wet and gloomy for a week rather than its usual chaos or two weeks of the seasons every other month. These weeks are called Aqua Laguna and are marked by their lightning storms, monsoons, freak floods where entire buildings can be swept away, culminating in the Agua Laguna itself—a giant wave that barrages the city that people dread every year. Or not, depending on who you are. There have been people known to host parties or even boat parties during Aqua Laguna, just for kicks because they find it exhilarating or something.

I may or may not know some of those people.

When it's finished, everyone goes back to normal living as if nothing happened only to wait for the next one and panic all over again. It's a fun little cycle.

Anyway, I celebrate my punctuality with a small dance that Franky would be proud of and settle at the counter, with my tea, ready to begin another day.

"MaaaaaaaaAAAYYYYYYYYY!"

I scream as someone kicks down the door and charges at me, leaps over the counter, and barrels right into me.

"Paulie?!"

"May! How could you!? How could you do this?!" my friend from Galley-La yells, waving some papers in front of my face.

"What?!"

"This!"

"What is 'this'?"

" _This!_ "

Paulie shoves the papers under my nose and I have to blink and take a moment to figure out what he's holding in front of me.

I see bikinis and instantly groan.

"Please don't-"

" _I have always believed May to be an honest, upright,-"_

"Stop it-"

" _Modest, sensible, not-shameless young lady-"_

"Oh my god, you're so embarrassing-"

" _And_ this _is what you have to show for yourself?!"_ he continues, despite my attempts to derail him, "Why are you in this shameless magazine showing so much shameless skin!?"

"Ughhhhhhhhhhh," my drawn out groan of agony carries on for several more seconds until I'm sure Paulie won't cut me off, "Ace and half the Galley-La workers walk around shirtless more than half the time, Franky wears a god damn Speedo twenty-four-seven, and I have blackmail photos of you streaking through downtown last year-!"

"Shhhh! No one can know about that!" he slams his hand over my mouth; I lick his palm and he lets go with a disgusted cry.

"It was televised and all over the News Coo-"

"This is different!" he yells, "May's a very pretty young woman, what if some gross boys see it and fall in love with her?!"

I have to laugh at his ridiculousness.

"Aww, Paulie, you're such an overprotective nii-san! But, shut up, you don't get to tell me what to wear. Now," I decide to move us on from this subject, "Do you want some coffee?"

"Yeah. Actually, I'm here to bring you in. We have a big shipment that just got in contact and moved the deadline to tomorrow, so we're calling all hands in," he says, picking me up before I can say anything, "So, let's go!"

"But…the café…" I start, but I have to let it go; they need me over at Galley-La right now, so I nod and tell him to lead on.

On our way out to the white van, I see through the sheets of rain a sign in the window where Paula's café used to be that another place is opening soon.

How exciting! A new person on Red Line.

Maybe this time they'll stick around.

* * *

 **8:15 am**

As I struggle to balance my crutches, an umbrella, and a couple dozen grocery bags and walk at the same time, with Paulie getting the rest of the bags behind me, making an oath with myself to never break any more bones in my body ever again because, wow is this inconvenient, I hardly notice that a person has appeared in front of me until a hand pops up in front of my face. With a small yelp, I lose balance, crutches slipping out from beneath me, umbrella tumbling backwards over my shoulder, and I tilt forward, losing grip on the bags.

Instead of falling face first into the wet gravel though, I feel an arm catch my waist. I crack open an eye that was squeezed shut, braced for impact, and see that whoever caught me has not only me, but all of the bags and my umbrella as well, balanced neatly and dexterously. Then, I look up to see who it is.

"Wha—Usopp? What are you doing here?" I ask him; I know Iceburg sometimes gets my friend to come in and help with painting, but that's only really for fancy private luxury ship orders they get.

"Sorry? I don't know who you're talking about, but people who aren't employed here are restricted from this area," he says, and it's only then that I notice that this isn't Usopp I'm still leaning against; his nose is long, but unlike my friend's, it's oddly square-ish.

"Wah! You're not Usopp!" I point at him in surprise, and I think he's decided he's done holding me up, but he chuckles good-naturedly as he helps me regain my balance.

"No, my name is Kaku. Are you lost, miss?"

"What? No, no, I know where I'm going," I tell him as he hands me back my bags and courteously picks up my fallen crutches.

"Oi, why are you dawdling out in the rain?" Paulie calls out as he lightly charges through the water, trying to get to cover as quickly as possible; that cover ends up being the umbrella not-Usopp continues to hold above us.

"Paulie-san, my apologies, but this person was trying to get in so I was dealing with them-"

"Huh?" my blond friend cuts off the man with a confused look, "Why are you stopping her—? Oh! Right—new guy. Kaku, this is May, a friend of the company. She comes in on days like today to cook for us and make coffee, so she's cool to be here. May, Kaku here is one of our newest employees, today just so happens to be his first day on the job."

"Well, you picked a hell of a day to start," I grin up at him, now that I understand who he is, "If you can survive a Mayday at Galley-La, you're more than fit for this work."

"Yes, I hope I can rise to the challenge. I've heard the workload can be intense," he says, then seems to remember himself, "Ah, where are my manners, it is nice to meet you."

He extends his hand that isn't holding the umbrella, probably forgetting that mine are full of bags; not wanting to leave him hanging because he seems like a sincere kind of guy, I smile and place a pinky in his hand and give it a light shake which he sheepishly returns.

"Oh, please excuse me, I should have thought about your state," he says, rubbing the back of his head, "Here, allow me to take some of those bags."

"Not to rush this cozy meeting along, but what the hell are we standing around in the rain for?" Paulie asks, antsy to get inside, "Let's go, kids, we've got some hungry people depending on us."

With Kaku holding the umbrella, we make our way to the enormous warehouse that holds Galley-La's latest project where I'm greeted heartily by the workers and get down to business.

* * *

 **11:30 am**

"May-chan, another coffee please!"  
"You've already have five, quit prolonging your break and get back to work."  
"Aw, Paulie, don't be such a stickler."  
"We have work to do, dumbass."  
"Wait, haven't _you_ been on a break for a while now?"  
"I'm on a smoke break."  
" _You're damn cigarette isn't even lit."  
_ "I'm trying to quit."  
" _Such a transparent excuse!"_

I dodge a thrown chair that sails past me as the coworkers start to brawl and flip a waffle out of the griddle, dress it up and pass it to the waiting lady with impressive biceps and the Galley-La Company logo tattooed across her chest.

A shoe hits my forehead and I squeak in surprise as it ricochets into the waffle batter.

"Sorry, May-chan!"

I mutter death threats by phonebook under my breath halfheartedly and rub the red spot on my forehead. While retrieving the shoe that's now covered in batter, I don't notice someone else step up.

And then, something lands on my shoulder.

Startled, I look up at a bird that is settling down.

"A bird…?" I say aloud, puzzled beyond belief; but then, I notice it has a tie.

"It has a tie!"

The white pigeon shuffles its wings around, then puffs out its chest and opens its beak. Expecting a coo or some kind of tweet to come from it, it's understandable that I'm shocked when it says 'Hello' in a high, chirpy voice.

"It can speak!"

As I'm fawning over/kind-of-freaking-out-about this apparently, talking bird, I still haven't noticed the person before me. However, with a flourish of feathers, the pigeon gently taps my cheek and turns my attention towards the person, and I look over, amazed.

"Do you know where this bird came from? It can speak! _And it has a tie!"_

"I belong to him," Bird-san chirps, "He is Lucci."

"Amazing!" I say, getting a good look for the first time at the unfamiliar man; he is tall (like the majority of people I know. It's stupid and unfair how many people are taller than me because I'm not _that_ short) and has peculiarly-shaped facial hair, kinda of like Mihawk's! "You have a very talented bird."

"May, don't let this guy fool you," says Paulie, coming up behind Lucci to slap the man's shoulder, "The bird can't actually talk, he's just a ventriloquist."

"I am Hattori," the bird twitters, and I squeal; it's just so cute!

"Hello, I'm Lily, Lily E. May," I take the wing it extended towards me between my thumb and forefinger to carefully shake it, completely ignoring whatever Paulie just said with a happy smile.

"Gah, go ahead and be an idiot, see if I care," Paulie throws his hands over his head; someone passing murmurs "Right, 'cause _you_ didn't figure out he was a ventriloquist until hours after you first met…" to which he whips around silently and smacks the person's coffee cup out of their hands, "Anyway, this is Rob Lucci, May, he's another of the newbies here. He's an asshole."

I laugh at my friend as I rub Hattori's head and he gives a little coo, but finally look back to Lucci.

"So, how do you like your coffee? You'll probably need lots today, so you might as well tell me now."

"Sugar, no cream," Hattori sings.

"Simply adorable! I might have to keep Hattori-chan, he's the best."

The pigeon immediately flies back to Lucci's shoulders.

"I'm kidding!"

Sort of.

"May, why are you putting a shoe covered in batter into the waffle griddle? Geez, pay attention to what you're doing, will you?"

* * *

 **5:35 pm**

" _Achoo!"_

I cover a forceful sneeze in the crook of my elbow and nearly spill Peeply Lulu's coffee all over him.

"Uh-oh. Are you feeling under the weather, May-san?"

"No, no," I wave airily, filling up the next cup; we're reaching the point where coffee breaks are becoming more frequent, and I've been working the coffee makers to churn out pot after pot, "It's just Aqua Laguna week. I always get a cold or something when the weather changes, but I'm good for a while."

"Oh my goodness! We didn't even think about your comfort!" a few people around cry, "Are you warm enough sitting like this? I know we're in a covered building, but it's always drafty in here, but we don't notice because we're always moving around-"

"Do you need a sweater-?"  
"Space heater!"  
"Wool socks!"

"Well, I mean, my hands and toes get so cold I can't feel them sometimes, but that's normal—," I start.

"AH! Her fingers are blue! Why didn't we notice sooner?! Stop standing around, you fools, go round up some gloves and jackets!"

By the time my friends are done, I have several layers of hats, scarves, jackets, coats, and socks piled and shoved onto me.

"No matter how you look at it, isn't it a bit much?" asks Kaku, who's been watching quietly while sipping his coffee.

"It could never be enough! What if May comes down with something, then we'll have no coffee!"

"Hmm hmpf mmrmph."

"What was that, May? Speak up, we can't hear you through all those scarves."

Giving up on trying to communicate, I go back to making coffee.

At least I'm warm now.

* * *

 **8:10 pm**

Iceburg and Franky both come in at the same time today. Apparently they had some kind of special meeting today that they've been wrapped up in, and since Iceburg doesn't currently have a secretary, Franky fills the role occasionally.

" _Mother flipping pricks!"_ the older blue-haired brother slams (the extremely heavy, easily two floors tall) double doors of the warehouse open in a huff, loosening his tie as he walks in and is greeted zealously by everyone, "Think they can tell _me_ what to do. Alright! Ladies and gents, I'm officially pissed off, so let's get this hunk of scrap metal done as soon as possible so I don't have to look at it any longer!"

"Ooooh! Boss is fired up!"  
"It's making me energetic, too!"  
"Yosh! Let's get this done quickly!"  
"Is everyone ready to finish this ship? Superrr!"

"Alright, alright, chop chop everyone," Iceburg calls for order, rolling up his sleeves and diving right into work without changing into work clothes, "May-san! Good to see you. I'll be expecting some good coffee tonight!"

"Of course!"

I smile to myself as I watch everyone work with a refreshed energy brought by Icebrg and of course Franky. I let Hattori peck at a few pieces of fruit as I fire up both of the coffee makers; hopefully tonight won't be an all-nighter for Galley-La, but it is always nice to spend time with them even if it is somewhat hectic."

" _Gyah! Watch out below, I dropped the welder!_ "

" _Eek!"_

* * *

 **17 March/Thursday/12:35 am**

"S'more sausages, please!"  
"Another round of scrambled eggs as well!"  
"Fill up on coffee?"

"Help yourself!" I call through my kitchen window.

The Galley-La workers managed to get the order done in amazing time tonight, and to celebrate, we've all come back to the café for a victory breakfast and so that they can polish off all the things I made for the cafe (there weren't too many left surprisingly because apparently Luffy and Ace came in while I was gone and decided to help themselves).

"It's all thanks to these fellows ri'here!" I can here Paulie laugh boisterously, probably slapping someone's back, "Guys are powerhouses! I counted, I counted! Kaku worked for eight hours straight without stopping or resting. Hardly seemed like he was human anymore!"

I confirm that Paulie slapped Kaku's shoulder, while he had been drinking his tea, when I pass the steaming eggs and sausages through the window and see the long-nosed man thumping his chest vigorously.

"Why aren't you sitting with everyone?" I ask Lucci, who's leaning against the kitchen counter with Hattori perched on his shoulder contentedly, as I limp to the oven; the muffins should be done soon.

"It's very loud in there," coos the white bird and I have to grin.

"Yeah, but you get used to it. And I think with how you handled today you'll definitely be sticking around! So," I pull the tray out carefully and test one of the muffins—good—then offer one to Lucci with a bright smile, "Welcome to the family."

He takes it with a simple nod and I beam.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a!...Have you guys seen Lucci's design in the upcoming Film Gold?...I am one salty sardine about his goatee. Archaeological and I have rants about it over on tumblr and how we're going to ambush him with a pair of scissors, anything to get rid of it. I'm hoping to god that it's only limited to the film and he doesn't show up in the manga with that atrocity at the end of his face iT IS SO STUPID-**

 **Anyway.**

 **Thanks for reading and stick around!**

 **-jj**


	61. Chapter 56: In Which Things Are Awkward

**18 March/Friday/6:30 am**

I stretch and yawn widely, my spine giving a few _pop!pop!pop!'_ s before I settle back down with a sigh and absentmindedly scratch my leg with a wire coat hanger. That little trick Red showed me has been quite the lifesaver.

Today's Aqua Laguna rain is grey. Red Line looks like it's washed away by the dull, steely sheets of water drumming in a numbingly consistent roll outside, as if it's beating the color out of the world. It's different from the heavy, boiling thunderstorms or the cold, pelting showers that we've had so far this week although it all comes down to the same thing—that there's a lot of water everywhere. A sort of calm stillness washes over the café as the patter of rain fills it, a serene kind of quiet where thoughts trail off into a tranquil nothingness.

 _-CRASH-_

Ah, yes, that's much better.

I shake myself from whatever meditative-like state I was slipping into a grin up at the people bustling into my coffeeshop and shaking water from themselves.

"'Morning!"

"'Morning," a few of my friends mumble back as they shuffle over to the counter.

"Up for some early breakfast?" Luffy asks, sunny personality not in the least bit dampened by the weather, "Sanji has lots of good stuff from Baratie!"

"Sounds peachy to me!"

"Have any coffee on yet?" Usopp asks, squeezing water out of his poofy bun.

"I'll get it going. There's plenty of tea in the meantime."

"This weather is so dreary," complains Franky, testing Quintin's surface with a couple of pushes so that he doesn't break before he sinks into a chair, "It's really messing with my groove and gettin' me into a funk!"

It's true; his hair is drooping low rather than staying in his normal do, which only happens when he's low on energy or in a 'funk'. Any other time, it defies all known rules of physics and remains up, even against rain and wind. It's incredible really, and none of us know if it's because he uses an ungodly amount of hair gel or if the hair on top of his head is alive with a mind and will of its own.

Maybe Robin knows.

Brook graces us with a funky guitar lick; don't ask where he pulled the shark-shaped instrument out of, your guess is as good as mine.

"Because you're in a funk! Yohohoho!"

We all laugh at the terrible joke, starting to lift the sleepy, nearly-somber mood that has been hanging over everyone.

"Zoro, help me bring plates and silverware over," Sanji calls over his shoulder as he heads to the kitchen; my green-haired friend gets up and follows without any fuss.

It must be too early for them to think about arguing.

The bell rings as two people walk in: Law and Red, the first folding up an offensively yellow umbrella and the other looking very wet.

"Hey there, guys! Wanna join us for breakfast?" Nami greets them.

"Eh. Why not."  
"I have time."

"Oi, you don't get to just freeload," says Sanji, "Go help get drinks for everyone and the jam and butter."

"Don't tell me what to do, bastard," Kidd growls back at him, pointing a finger at everyone who's sitting down at Quintin already, "What about these people? Why don't they have to do anything?"

"I'm an old man," Brook says, waving his cane, "Respect your elders, sonny."

I raise my hand with a grin.  
"Cripple's priveledge."

Luffy raises his hand next to me.  
"I break everything I touch," he says seriously.

Usopp suddenly becomes very weak and lays his head down on the table, saying in a trembling voice, "I have 'if-I-lift-a-single-finger-right-now-I'll-die-disease'."

Chopper blinks innocently.  
"Child labor laws."

"Stop whining and move it," Law sharply jabs the tip of his umbrella into Kidd's back, causing the taller man to yelp in pain, "Is there any coffee?"

"It's getting there."

"Pour me a cup on your way back, Traffy?" Usopp calls.  
"Me too!"  
"Me three."

"Whoa!"

The sound of shattering dishware grabs everyone's attention and we turn to see that Kidd and Law have collided with each other in the kitchen doorway. Red, who was holding several different containers of jellies, is now covered in the gooey jams as is Law.

"Ah, fuck, I tripped over these stupid flowers," he gives a light kick to the potted tulips on the floor by the doorway.

"Wait! Don't hurt Miss Tulpi!" I cry, getting up and moving the plant away to safety from Kidd's boot with my crutch, "Here, you guys go wash up, I'll see if I can find you something to wear in the meantime."

"You _named_ a pot of flowers?"

"Maybe I did, what of it. Go wash out your clothes before they get stains."

I crawl upstairs to get them some fresh shirts; when I come back down, I hear several _thumps!_ coming from the bathroom accompanied by muffled grunts of surprise.

"You guys okay in there?" I ask as I knock on the door briskly, giving them a perfectly reasonable window of time for them to tell me not to come in because they're indecent before I barge in.

"Wait-!"

Too late.

I blink at the scene before me: Kidd and Law are both shirtless and on the floor, on top of each other with Red practically straddling Law.

"Oh," I say, pulling out my phone instantly and snapping some pictures, "Look guys, you're free to dinky tickle, but it would be great if you didn't do it on my coffeeshop's bathroom floor. I am _pretty_ sure that's really unsanitary."

"This is isn't what it looks like. It was an accident!"  
"Get the fuck off me, Eustass-ya."

"Awkward," I comment breezily and hand them their respective shirts as they get up, "Anyway, sorry Red, it was the only thing that I thought would fit you. I think it was Franky's."

"Fuck, this shirt is hideous," he says as he tugs the colorful Hawaiian shirt over his head.

"Isn't it though?" I ask brightly.

"May-ya, this is my sweater."

"Are you sure about that? There's plenty of ugly yellow sweaters with smiley faces on them out there."

"When did you even _get_ this?"

"Don't worry about it."

* * *

 **9:15 am**

"What about this one, May?"

"Pitters."

"Ah, I see I see," Luffy says as he puts the pot of white daisies back where they were resting, then points to the carnations next to it, "And this one?"

"I call her Flossie. Delicate but hardy in her own way, don't you think?"

"And what about the one way up there?"

I crane my head backwards to see him pointing at the high shelf behind the counter where a planter of purple irises sits and smile.

"The silent and regal observer, La Grande Dame de la Étagère!"

"La Grande Dame!" Luffy whispers in awe with stars in his eyes, "So cool! I wanna name one."

"Hmm..." I look around at all the flowers I still have to find one that doesn't have a name, "Oh! This little guy right here, he's got a lotta spunk but I haven't found a good title for him yet."

I point out the vase of delicate forget-me-nots to Luffy's right and he looks at them in concentrated deliberation before he glances back over to me wistfully.

"I can't name those ones?" he asks, nodding to the lilies he and Ace got for me.

"Can't," I smile and wrap my arms around the pot they're in, "I already named them Sunny."

"Aw, if that's the case...But it does suit them. Yosh! This guy's name is Kauriraris!" he proclaims of the forget-me-nots.

"Ooo, what a nice, strong name," I praise.

We pause to watch as a particularly large wave of rainwater rolls past the window outside, upset by the Puffing Tom as it zooms past, Kokoro laughing and Chimney ringing the bell enthusiastically as they pass by.

"Anyway, May. Wanna see how many of these flower pots I can balance?"

"Go for it."

* * *

 **12:30 pm**

"Oi, May, are you in?"

I hear the door crash open, the patter of the rain outside momentarily swelling before it slams shut on the noise again, and the shuffle of boots as they're dried off in the doorway. Sounds like Ace.

"In the kitchen!" I call back as I pull some sheets of Danishes out of the oven.

"Brr! It's pouring monkeys and dugongs out there!" he talks outloud as he walks through the front, "Could use some good warm food right about now. But, anyway, how are you tod-AH!"

Startled, I look up to see Ace careening towards me, and oh god what the hell-

 _-Whump!-_

" _Mmph!"_  
 _"Oof!"_

 _..._

"Whoa, awkward. Sorry about that May," Ace says as he props himself above me; he tripped right into me making us both fall and him land nose-first into my chest, "I think my foot caught on the tulips in the doorway."

"Pffft! That was super ungraceful," I snicker at him, tactfully leaving out the fact that I may or may not have tripped on Miss Tulpi several times myself.

"Right? Aren't I just the smoothest?" he takes it in stride and helps us both up, "So, how about that food?"

"Is paella OK?"

"Hell yeah! So, like I was saying before that whole situation, how are you today?"

"Alright. This rain is making people stay inside, so I've had a bit more customers than usual today, and I guess there's a new place opening up next door..."

We catch up as I make lunch and Ace mixes cava mimosas for us. Before we dig in, we clink glasses and we spend our time eating going through recent additions to my Blackmail Folder and laughing.

* * *

 **1:00 pm**

I had to kick the ancient heap-of-metal wood stove in the corner of the café to life because Grand Line's temperature took a nosedive to just above freezing and because I hold up against the cold about as well as a lizard; I'm sliding back down stairs wearing my overly large black hoodie (of _course_ it doesn't say Ace on the tag inside, _psh!_ what are you talking about?) when the bell jingles. I scramble to grab my crutches from the bottom steps and rush out to meet who it is, and by some luck of fate, I trip in the doorway over Miss Tulpi.

"Wah!"

Expecting impact, I squinch my eyes closed, but rather than hard, cold wood floor meeting my face, I meet a firm yet much softer and warmer surface.

"Whoa, this feels almost like déjà vu," the wall I faceplanted into remarks.

I look up to see a long nose.

"Usopp! Wait, no, not Usopp-Kaku!"

"That is my name," he laughs airily as he sets me back on my feet and picks up my crutches for me, like he did the first time, "Are you alright? I believe these flowers on the floor is what threw you for a doozy. Would you like me to move them?"

"No, no I'm fine and Miss Tulpi is right where she belongs. She just likes causing mischief like that," I beam at him, then notice that there are others that came in with Kaku, "Paulie, Lucci! Nice to see you again so soon."

"Good afternoon, May-san," Lucci's white pigeon coos out.

"Hello to you, too Hattori-chan," I wave to the bird, "So, what brings you guys over to this part of Grand Line?"

"I'm giving the newbies a proper welcome to the company," Paulie states proudly, "Figured I show them here for a some of May's coffee when we're _not_ in a hurry to get an order done and then take them to Makino's later."

"Ah, that sounds like a good plan!" I say, handing out three cups of coffee to the men (and an espresso cup filled with water to Hattori), "But..."

"What is it?"

"Is it okay for Kaku to be out so late?" I ask in concern.

"May, what in the world are you talking about?"

"Well, 'cause 'older' people go to sleep early don't they?"

"Hahaha, what do you mean older?" laughs Paulie, "Than you, sure, but not by much!"

"Eh?! I thought Kaku was an ossan?"

Said man chokes on his coffee and has to get soundly thumped on the back by Paulie. After he manages to reign in his coughing fit, he shoots me a glance of bewilderment.

"Pardon me, but how old do you believe me to be?" he asks, a slight cough still perforating his words.

"Uhm...I dunno..." I mutter, embarrassed, "Maybe...fifty-?"  
"Fifty?!" Paulie bursts out and immediately deteriorates into riotous laughter, "Hoo-hoo-hoo- _boy_ , that's hilarious! Try half of that."

Oh dear, I was never good at math.

"So, like...forty?" I ask Paulie as he wipes tears of mirth out of his eyes, but he's dissolves back into howls at my question; I don't see what's so funny-Kaku can't be that young...

"May, you need to brush up on your math." Paulie gasps for air, "He's twenty five."

"Eh?! But he talks like an eighty year old!"

Paulie can't speak another word and falls sideways off of his stool from laughter, and I even see stoic Mr. Lucci hide a smirk behind his coffee mug.

"Awkward," Hattori chirps.

"I-I don't look that old," Kaku says with a shyly forced smile, "Do I?"

"No, no, you look your age," Paulie pats his back reassuringly, recovering from his fall, "May just has difficulty differentiating faces sometimes."

"It's a common mistake."

"No, it really isn't."

"Well, sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I thought Paulie was sixty when I first met him. A creepy lecherous old man with a gross scraggly beard. Not much has changed."

"Huh, that does make me feel better."

"Oi, watch your mouths, you punks."

Both Hattori and Lucci take a drink from their respective cups silently.

* * *

 **5:00 pm**

' _Just. A little. Farther.'_

I squeak when the bell rings out and lose my already dubious grip on Miss Tulpi as I try to place her next to La Grande Dame on the high shelf, without a stepping ladder mind you. She tumbles from my fingers and I only manage to catch and save her by falling backwards onto the counter and getting the wind knocked out of me.

I hold up the potted flower victoriously. Albeit breathlessly.

"Ah, please excuse me," someone says, "Was this bad time?"

I bend my head over the edge of the counter to look at the person who came in upside-down.

"Not at- _ahem!_ " I clear my throat and attempt to take a deep breath before I try that again after my voice comes out all breathy, "Not at all! Sorry you had to see that."

I don't feel quite up to moving right now, still struggling to get the air circulating in my lungs as it is, so I stay where I am, hugging Miss Tupli on my stomach.

"Can I help you?"

"Ahhh, well..." he stares blankly at me for a moment before he shakes himself from his thoughts and brightens up with sleepy sort of smile, "Not really. I wanted to come over and introduce myself: my name is Blueno, I'll be opening a bar in the place nextdoor."

"Really?! That's awesome!" I grin at him and offer my hand, upside down of course, "I'm May, Lily E. May, and it's wonderful to meet you! I do hope you're able to stay here, the last person only made it about half a month. Nice lady. Oooh, that reminds me, I need to visit her sometime, I wonder what the visiting hours are at the prison. Ah! Look at me, rambling on. Anyway, you should find some good carpenters or construction workers and make friends with them real quick if you want to last."

He takes my hand apprehensively, but before he can respond or ask why the hell that last piece of advice was needed, the window explodes inwardly and I see Luffy and Usopp tumble in accompanied by a deluge of rain.

"That would be why," I tell him brightly before I yell at my friends, "Oi, go get a tarp or something and cover up that hole, you're letting water in!"

"Sorry May!" They both yell. As they continue to tussle.

 _-SMASH!-_

And predictably, there goes Quintin.

"God damnit," I groan, then look back up at Blueno, "So. Welcome to Red Line."

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Man, I am so tired =~= I slept for at least fourteen hours on Saturday. I don't know what it was, but I was _out_ of it.**

 **A response to a Guest that commented on chapter 54! I'm sorry that you've been in that emotional rut, those can always be hard to climb out of. I'm happy that I can help someway tho, so fight on! 'u')9 As for your question about shipping Marco/Law with May (WHAT?! ANOTHER SHIP JOINS THE FFE (FANFICTION FIGHTING ENTERTAINMENT) SHIPPING WARS: THE NEW RUNNER UP-MAYCO? MARY? YOU GUYS DECIDE)-I don't plan on writing any drabble chapters/Au's outside of the main ones/extra chapters and uploading to this story. I want to keep this main storyline focused and not make too many detours. But! Over on my tumblr, I often write little side stories/draw doodles not related to the Cafe on the Corner's plotline, and I'd be more than happy to discuss those ships over there with you ;)**

 **As always, thank you so much for reading and stick around!**

 **-jj**


	62. Chapter 57: In Which There Is Stargazing

**19 March/Saturday/7:00 am**

Today the sky looks like a bruise: dark purple and ugly yellow in some places. It looks like monsoon weather.

Man, I really hope I can make it through the week without having to go grocery shopping, it would suck to have to walk through Agua Laguna weather with the bags.

"May!" Luffy crashes in this morning, as I've come to expect over the years, but he's carrying something big with him today, "Telescope!"

He swings the heavy and delicate instrument around dangerously.

"Whoa, Luffy, be careful with that! You could break it," I say, "Also, why?

"It's Astrology Day!" he grins, setting the telescope down with a mildly concerning, rattling _thunk!,_ "It's so we can look at the sky 'course!"

"But, you know if you try to use one during the day, the sun'll make you go blind."

"I know! It's for tonight, silly," he says, sitting down and starting to tap on the counter in an erratic beat; he must be pretty excited for this.

"Ah, good thinking!" I tell him, "We could easily set it up on the roof, and-oh. But I guess with all these clouds from Agua Laguna, it won't work..."

"Don't worry," he says with simple-minded conviction, "I'm sure it'll clear up. It has to 'cause it's Astrology Day!"

"Well," I pat his cheek, "We'll keep an eye for the weather and check in with Nami. Now-want some chocolate-caramel cake? It's a little early, but it's Chocolate Caramel Day."

"You bet!"

* * *

 **11:30 am**

' _Are you not coming in for breakfast or lunch today?'_

I send the text message to Ace and rearrange the counter top, straightening out the dusty phonebooks and slide Sunny to a better position next to the register. It's a slow day so far and not many people besides the occasional friend have stopped by, which is a little disappointing because I made some tasty treats to celebrate the day.

' _Na_ _h. Some doofy looking fker in a lion mask got in2 the animal habitats & were trying to catch him but he keeps disappearing. Lil bitch is slippery. Let u know if Ill be for dinner g2g.'_

"Why is there a telescope?"

Looking up from my phone, I see that Kidd has stepped in. I smile brightly as I brush some specks of dust off my phonebooks.

"It's Astrology Day! Tonight we're going to stargaze and all that fun stuff."

"...I think you're getting confused with astronomy," he says carefully; I blink at him.

"What's the difference?"

"Astronomy is the study of space and whatnot," Red explains, placing one of my airpots that I guess he still had on the counter and motioning for me to fill it up, "Astrology is horoscope shit and whatever. Tarot cards. I dunno."

"Oh," I say, slightly disappointed, "Well, there was a chance it might not even clear up tonight, so I guess I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up."

He remains silent for a few passing moments, before he looks off to the side and huffs.

"...Astrology still has to do with space though, so you could still stargaze or whatever," he mumbles.

"Really?" I cheer up instantly, "That's such a relief! Luffy is looking forward to it, so it's a good thing he won't be disappointed. But, wait, do you know about astrology, Kidd?"

He fidgets awkwardly and brushes some nonexistent dust off his silicon shoulder.

"I don't; guy I know is crazy into that stuff, all palm readings and crystal ball-voodoo shit. Dude's annoying as fuck."

He looks back at me and when he sees my face, he has a look of instant and immense regret and tries to backtrack.

"No, I won't bring him-"  
 _"You should bring him tonight!"_ I exclaim eagerly, sparkles practically flying from my eyes.  
" _Hell_ no, the guy is such a pain in the ass-"  
"It's settled then, you're bringing him! Here's your coffee, make sure it's cooled off before you drink it so you don't burn your tongue, say hi to Killer and everyone-oh! And here's some really good chocolate cupcakes with caramel frosting you can take for everyone to enjoy-and stay safe out there," I dismiss him with a sunny smile; he's left with no other option than to snatch up the airpot and cupcakes and trudge out the door with a 'See you' thrown over his shoulder as he leaves.

I think tonight will be wonderful if we have someone who's knowledgeable about astrology! Humming cheerfully, I do a quick wipe down and sweep of the cafe.

' _I can't wait!'_

* * *

 **2:50 pm**

As I'm placing a red amaryllis that I call Max on top of Quintin's surface (which has a brand new crack running through the center now), the door opens sending the bell jingling and Nami and Vivi step inside.

"Hello!"

"Ahhh," Nami sighs contentedly, taking a deep breath as she shimmies out of her coat, helps Vivi out of hers, and hangs them both at the rack, "I always love the smell in here. Coffee and pastries, it's second only to The orange grove."

"It does smell nice," agrees Vivi, "I like the way rain smells a bit more though."

"You two came at a good time," I tell them, "I just pulled out some chocolate caramel truffles I whipped together out of the fridge. Would you like to try some?"

"Sure!"

"Yes, please. What's with the flowers on Quintin?" asks Nami.

"I thought Maximilian IV, removed four times on his father's side, deserved a place of honor."

"Fourth removed from who?" Vivi questions, puzzled.

"That's the mystery, isn't it?" I tell her gravely, "He won't say."

We spend the afternoon each going over what's been happening in our lives ("...I got a nice discount at that insanely expensive place, Cyber Panda, because I convinced them I'm fabulously famous and rich. Had the suckers eating out of my hands. Anyway, I have a few extra shirts from there, that I can give you guys...", "...Papa's been trying to set up dates for me with a lot of other big companies' children. I know he's just trying to look out for me, but it's getting tiring." "Easy solution: you can date me and then he'll stop."-there was a couple seconds of tense silence before my friends quickly started chugging down their drinks and I stared at them) before they went on their ways, but not before I invited them to come tonight of course.

"There's going to be a window from 9:00 to 10:00 sharp where the cloud cover will vanish," Nami says factually, as she shrugs on her coat and helps Vivi into hers again, "See you then."

I grin widely and wave them out.

"Wonderful!"

* * *

 **6:00 pm**

The moment I flip the sign from 'OPEN' to 'CLOSED', my friends begin to arrive, even though we have three hours until the actual star gazing. It doesn't matter; I certainly don't mind their company.

As usual when my friends come together in a large group, there's laughing, chatting, and a general warm bubble of chatter and buzz encompassing us as the coffee pot is passed around from person to person and Thatch and Sanji and a few others wander over to the kitchen to make simple meals or snacks for those who are hungry. Which-with my friends-means all of them are.

However, the real excitement breaks out when Kidd and his friend arrive. Instantly, the long blond-haired man is bombarded with questions: asking for the future, for their palm to be read, how do Tarot cards work, is there a lot of herbal refreshment that goes on with what he does, know any card tricks?

"Whoa, whoa, at least ask him his name first!" Shanks laughs.

"I am Basil Hawkins," he says impassively, "It is fortunate that our paths have crossed."

"This guy's hilarious!"  
"Red, where'd you find him? He's so funny!"

"Don't worry about how we know each other."

"Oh."

"Mister!" Luffy is right at the front of the crowd, bouncing happily, "Tell my future! With those card thingies!"

Whether or not Basil-san is extremely offended that his serious and highly respected tools of craft were referred to as 'thingies' is a mystery as he keeps a perfectly blank face.

"Tarot reading requires the proper atmosphere and sufficient quietness in order to concentrate-,"

"I don't care about those things, do a quick one for me. Please?"

Well, no one can resist Luffy when he does the puppy eyes, and it looks like Basil-san is no exception. He pulls a deck of intricately illustrated cards from his pocket, shuffles them in the air drawing many "ooh's" and "ahh's" from the crowd, before he fans them out and asks Luffy to select one. The teen predictably goes for the most obvious choice and takes one right in the middle.

"The Six of Cups," Basil-san says mysteriously, deftly snatching back the card from Luffy as he holds it inches from his nose to examine it in childish wonder, "You will have a reunion with someone from your past very soon."

"Amazing!"

"Me next, me next!"

I laugh and shuffle over to Kidd who has been swept aside by the thriving crowd.

"You actually brought him!" I say happily, "I thought there was a chance you wouldn't, so thank you."

"Tch."

I take that as Kidd-speak for "you're welcome" or it could just mean "whatever" and my grin widens before I give him a quick hug.

"So!" I say as I readjust my grip on my crutches (there's _still_ a bit of sparkles on them, the darn stuff is damn near impossible to rub off), "Do you have that airpot back for me all shiny yet?"

* * *

 **9:30 pm**

"I don't see it."

"I'm literally pointing it out for you."

"Well, maybe you just suck."

"Screw you! You should get your vision checked if you can't see the star I'm _clearly_ pointing to!"

Nami was right as she always is about the weather: the sky cleared at exactly nine o'clock, the air sharp and razor-cold, giving us a crystal view of the stars as we take turns looking through the telescope. The group has moved outside along with the coffee, which mingle's with everyone's breath to make puffs of white steam in the air as we huddle up to keep warm. Like a waddle of penguins!

We've settled down from pestering Basil-san about astrology-related things and now that we've talked to him more...he seems exactly the same as his first impression: knowledgeable and unwaveringly calm and mysterious. _Terribly_ mysterious.

All together, I'd say it's been a good night despite the fact I've been forced to wrap up in several layers of coats and jackets, not to mention wiggle my way into Ace's jacket (the walking furnace only has to wear _one_ layer and he's not even wearing a shirt underneath! Talk about unfair) because it's freezing out here, but fortunately his jacket is big enough for us both. And he's keeping me warm, so I guess I can forgive the unfairness of him being able to stand the cold for now. I _guess._

"This is fun!" Luffy says as he steps up to us, wrapping his arms around me and Ace, who has his arms wrapped around me while I'm in his sweater, "We should have rooftop parties more often."

"Maybe we should," I nod, then rub my nose because I think I've lost feeling in it, but my hands are perpetually cold, so it does nothing; deciding it would be simpler, I reach out of Ace's jacket and pull his hand up to my face instead, "Ahh, nice and toasty."

"Brr! You're freezing, May," he shivers, but keeps his hand there as I retreat further back into him.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Nami pull out her phone and the screen light up her face before she glances quickly up at the sky. In the blink of an eye, a thick cover of clouds is blocking our view of the stars.

"Uh oh."

I feel the tiniest drop of water on the bridge of my nose.

"Everyone run back inside!" Nami yells; the next moment, everyone is rushing for the door and rain is starting to fall in buckets.

I shimmy my way out of Ace's jacket and sprint for the door as well as shrieks and laughter ring out through the rain, my own mixing with them, as we tumble back into my home and out of the storm. Thatch draws several fresh peals of laughter with his lovingly styled pompadour that is now drooping in front of his eyes, heavy with water. Luffy and Ace shake their heads like dogs, causing outcries from the people around them as the water hits them.

"Aw, man, there's no way I can walk home in this weather."  
"No way you could drive either."  
"Unless someone's willing to go out and get a boat, I don't think you _can_ drive home."

Everyone simultaneously looks and me and I laugh aloud.

"Towels are under the sink, help yourself to any dry clothes you can find."

"I could go for a good cup of tea!"  
"Or some beer!"  
"Oo, grab me one too, Shanks!"

It's not long before we're all passing around blankets, pillows, towels, hot cocoa, and tea, mopping up the puddles that gathered on the floor, and getting comfy for the night, everyone wearing something from my closet while they wait for their clothes to dry.

* * *

 **11:50 pm**

As the night has gone on and people have dropped off one by one, it's left Ace, Luffy, and I as the only ones awake, all piled on top of each other and ready to nod off.

"May? D'y'mind if we stay here t'morrow?" Luffy yawns sleepily, burying his nose further into my stomach as he scooches around to get comfortable.

"Yeah. Any reason why?"

"Jus'...that day can get lonely..."

Oh. I forgot.

I remain quiet for a moment as I comb my fingers through his hair and feel Ace shift next to me.

"Of course, Lu."

He puts his hand over mine and gives it a squeeze and Ace reaches over me to lay his hand on top of ours.

"Thanks, May."

"Mmhmm. Goodnight."

"Night."

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! So, I feel like I should make something a bit more clear. I think made a mistake telling you guys that I won't be answering as many reviews a couple chapters ago. After that, I saw a significant drop in reviews, and while yeah, that's kinda been a blow to my confidence, my ego is not what is important here. Reviews are a way for me to keep in touch with you, as a reader, to let me know what I'm doing well, what I could improve, what you liked, what you want to see. I'd still like to hear feedback from you guys and your thoughts on the story, because not only can a small comment help me get some motivation to write more, but it also helps me with ideas (I also like hearing about stories from your guys' everyday life, 'cause it's fun to see the people behind the reviews who take their time to read my silly story here! I love you guys a lot, I want to hear more about you all). And please don't misunderstand! I'm still answering reviews, either privately or here in the author's corner.**

 **I don't mean this to sound like a grab for reviews, but a little comment can go a long way**

 **With that said:**

 **FSG Guest: Hey-a! Been a while, been a while. So, listen, I don't want to give too much away, but guess what the next chapter is. Or rather, who is showing up next chapter ;)**

 **C: Thank you, as always, for your reviews, their enthusiasm never fails to put a smile on my face :) As for the latest OP chapters, I must confess I have to catch up on them, but I've seen a lot of bits and pieces from them, and I agree! There's somethin' creepy going on and I cannot _wait_ to see how it turns out!**


	63. Chapter 58: In Which There Is A Brother

**Pre-Author's Corner: Hey-a! I just want to take this opportunity to say this. You guys! Are so nice! Like, wow. Holy cow. Wow. My god. Wow. Thank you for all your kind comments, from the most recent chapter, and all the ones before! I'm so lucky and super grateful that I have such lovely readers that are just? The nicest people?!**

 **Thank you all so much everyone 'u'**

* * *

 **20 March/Sunday/5:00 pm**

" _Awwww_ crap."

I stare glumly at the empty fridge before me; a forlorn ghostlike dust of wind swirls through the barren plains that is the insulated box. I should've known having my friends over would leave me with zero food as the effects of a midnight raid on my kitchen.

And, as always, a single can of spiced peaches remains, a lone survivor.

Why is it always the peaches?

"Mayyyy, food," Luffy mumbles sleepily as he rolls down the stairs, and I do mean that literally.

"Sorry, Lu, you and Ace will have to make a grocery run. There's nothing."

The teen pops up and is running back the way he rolled in an heartbeat yelling "AAAAACCEeee!", and waking many people up in the process.

"Luffy! Shut up, it's five in the morning!"  
"We're trying to sleep!"  
"Fooood!"  
" _Aaaah! You woke up Zoro!"_

I ignore the _bang!_ s _,_ _crash!_ s, and _thud!_ s that pour down from upstairs in favor of focusing on something important: tea.

People start trickling down the stairs, some leaving with a quick goodbye, some making detours for a cup of tea or coffee, many of them wearing the clothes they scavenged from my closet, their still-wet bundles in hand.

"It's like a giant walk of shame," I marvel out loud as the parade of tired people continues.

"Ah, I've walked my fair share of those," Shanks says in passing, wearing a pair of Brook's old disco pants and a paisley shirt, his arm draped around Makino (who sports a moo moo dress that...huh, I don't know where that came from) as they leave, not worried about anyone catching them like this in the early hours of the morning, "You're right! It does kinda feel like one."

"See you two around," I grin and raise my cup in lieu of waving to them and Makino nods back, still in a sleepy haze.

Heavy footfalls thump down the staircase and Ace and Luffy go dashing past, a hasty "Be back in a mo!" thrown over their shoulders before they race in the direction of the Buggy Mall.

Well, there's not much I can do to set up the cafe until they return, other than make coffee. But what else to do...?

 _'Ah, I could get started on that spring cleaning I've been meaning to do!'_

The cafe is overdue for a full cleaning; that'll be perfect way to spend the time, even if I can't get to it all. Coming to a decision, I nod and get the cleaning supplies from the closet, and with determination, I begin the cleaning spree.

* * *

 **6:30 am**

"Careful you don't fall there, May," Robin says on her way out, with Franky trailing behind her, "Wouldn't want you to split your head open."

"Thanks," I smile down at her from the ladder as I pause in cleaning the windows above the door, "Have a good morning."

"Oh, we will. This one's promised to make me a 'super' breakfast today," she smiles as she takes Franky's hand and he gives me a thumbs up.

"I make a damn good quiche if I say so myself! Take care," he beams.

"See you guys! And don't worry, I won't fall."

The coffeeshop slips into a quiet peace save for the mouse-ishly tiny _squeak! squeak!_ of the windows as I wipe them. I just need to reach a _little_ more to get that one spot...

The sun is starting to break over the buildings of Grand Line through the hazy clouds that still cover the city in a brief respite from the relentless rains this week; it filters gently through the glass of the cafe as I wipe the cleaning product from it with satisfaction.

The calm before the storm.

"Hey, that look dangerous, are you sure you should be doing that?"

"Wah!"  
"Gah!"

With a splendiferous fall worthy of the Roman Empire, my hand supporting me slips and I go tumbling off the ladder in surprise, not having expected someone to walk in. My squeal that continued through my descent dies off slowly when I realize that I haven't hit the ground. Confused, I crack an eye open and see someone staring down at me, looking equally surprised as I feel right now.

"Whoa." is all I can weakly say. However, the person who caught me in their arms (just noticing that, too, wow May), is much better at regaining their footing than I am. He straightens up (me still in his arms) and flashes me a brilliant smile.

I can't help but think it reminds me of someone...

"Haha, I didn't know I could make people fall for me so quickly," he jokes lightheartedly; I let out a startled little laugh, because that was the last thing I expected, but it was still funny.

"Ohh, 'cause I fell on top of you! It's like a pun! Nice one, ten points," I smile, a little embarrassed that I, y'know, just fell on top of the guy.

"Ah, it's nice to find someone who appreciates a good joke," he says as he sets me back down on my feet, well, foot and let's me hold onto his arm for balance, "Usually my friends yell at me in outrage when I tell them."

"They must not like good jokes," I laugh, "Uhm, well. Hello. Sorry about that whole..deal."

I wave my hand vaguely to indicate that ungraceful performance of mine.

"It's no problem," he gives me another dazzling smile, the one that reminds me of something, but I can't think of what, "I'm glad that you didn't get hurt."

"Regardless, thank you. Can I pay you back for saving my life with a cup of coffee? I promise it's very good."

"I wouldn't turn down some good coffee," he nods, "But I actually have another reason to be here: you wouldn't happen to have any strawberry shortcake, would you?"

"Eh...ehehe, about that," I chuckle nervously and scratch my neck apologetically, "I'm currently out of stock of many things right now. Many things meaning everything besides coffee, tea, and a can of spiced peaches."

"Oh," he look slightly crestfallen for a moment, before he straightens again, smile back in place, "Well, that's alright. I will take you up on that coffee, please."

I make to hobble over to the counter, but at that moment, my phone buzzes. Curious, I pull it out of my pocket and see that it's Ace.

"Sorry, one moment," I tell him and answer the call, "Hey, what's up? Are you guys almost done? The cafe's not open yet, but I have a customer so it'd be great if you could hurry."

"Yeah, so, May, about that. Do you remember the time I accidentally burned a hole in Buggy's wall?" Ace asks me on the other side, "Funny story: I accidentally burned through another one and half the roof collapsed. Buggy's pretty pissed and is making us help here for a bit."

"Portgas D. Ace, when have you ever cared about pissing off anyone, let alone someone like Buggy?" I ask of him sternly, "Pay him back later or whatever, I need food here now. Oh! But make sure to take pictures of his face if it does the thing where it goes purple. You know I like to see that."

"Will do. _Oi, Luffy! Drop that chunk of wall, we're out."_

 _"OK!"_

I hear a distant _crash!_ before he hangs up.

"Sorry about that," I tell the man as I put my phone back and look to him, but I pause-he's looking at me strangely, "Is something wrong?"

' _Maybe there's something on my face?'_

"That name..." he begins slowly as I rub my cheek and look at my hand to see if anything came off with it, "What was that name you called the person on the line?"

"Ace?" I ask, suddenly unsure; oh no, this guy isn't a cop is he? I try to ignore it and most of the time I turn a blind eye, but I'm fairly certain my friend is well known amongst the law enforcement of Grand Line. And I basically just admitted to knowing him.

"Portgas," he repeats, more assured this time, "Portgas D. Ace."

' _Oh god, he's totally with the police.'_

He grabs my shoulders quickly and the panic sirens begin to go off on my mind.

"You know Portgas D. Ace?" he asks, a fire burning in his eyes _oh my gosh, I'm so getting arrested-_

"I know him too! I-I think I do. That name sounds so familiar. He's...He's my...," he struggles to find the words, looking at me, but not seeing me for a few long moments, at a loss, before his eyes refocus back on me, "Brother. He's my brother."

The red flashing lights and sirens wailing ' _ABORT, ABORT, TAKE ALL TEA IN VICINITY AND FLEE!'_ grind to a resounding halt in my head and I look, dumbfounded, up at the man grasping at my shoulders.

Really _look_ at him.

 _'Blond hair, tanned skin, round eyes...'_

I saw a picture of him once. One from when they were kids.

 _'Blond hair, tanned skin, round eyes...a scar over one.'_

They told me that he was in an accident when they were all young.

 _'Blond hair, tanned skin, round eyes...'_

The smile that reminds me of something but I can't put my finger on.

Maybe because it's so similar to the ones that are already my favorite in the whole wide world.

"...Sabo?"

* * *

 **10:15 am**

Humming lowly and tunelessly to myself, I put the final touches on a strawberry shortcake topped with whip cream frosting and an extra little surprise. The rain has picked back up; I can hear the soft _patter! patter!_ as it falls, and Chou Chou's occasional soft _woof_ 's as he sleeps, ear twitching sometimes, under the kitchen table.

Luffy and Ace are upstairs right now. With them, is Sabo.

I've known them for almost two and a half years. Three years ago, Luffy lived in a different country, and three years before that, so did Ace. The name of their home is Foosha, a small village in the Federative Republic of Goa which Makino is also from.

They never told me a lot about their childhood together, maybe small passing stories, but it was always enough to get a general idea of their life. However, in the time I've known them, they only mentioned Sabo once.

It had been a late night and we were simply enjoying each other's company, maybe there had been a few drinks, and when quiet started to fall, they told me about him.

Their other brother. Sabo. Another kid they found and latched onto in this crazy tumultuous world and had been an nearly inseparable group together. They also told me that they hadn't seen him in ten years, and didn't even know if he was still alive. I don't know the specifics, but there was a horrible accident and he had been transferred to a hospital in a larger city. From then on, they hadn't heard a single whisper from him.

Until today that is.

When Luffy and Ace came crashing through the door, not seconds after I realized just who it was who stepped into my cafe this morning, everything seemed to freeze. The three all stared at each other and it was like I could read every emotion that flew through Ace and Luffy in that breathless crystallized moment. I could only assume the same thoughts were mirrored in the man next to me.

And then, Luffy was dropping all of his bags, sprinting full tilt at us, jumping up and seizing him in a crushing embrace, Ace not steps behind paused only long enough as he passed me to hand me his phone where his new lockscreen is Buggy's raging face, nearly blue, and wow, there was so much crying, and of course because they were crying, I started too-

Anyway. They are all upstairs right now. I thought it was best to give them some time alone because: what do you say when you haven't seen someone in over a decade? Where do you start, where do you even begin?

They have a lot of catching up to do.

For now however, I'm finished with the cake, so I hope they won't mind a little interruption.

Because another thing that Luffy and Ace made sure to tell me about Sabo is his birthday. The twentieth of March.

* * *

 **3:30 pm**

The bells rings as I flip my Sudoku book to the next page and start on a new puzzle .

"Sorry, we're not open today," I say, looking up, "Oh, hi Law. Nevermind."

"Is it Monday?" he asks in confusion, looking around in a sort of vague, disorientated kind of way, until he's able to lock onto the calendar behind me and his eyebrows pull together, trying to figure it out and it seems he's having to wrestle with it.

"Are you OK?"

"I don't know," he sighs genuinely, weariness seeping out of every inch of his slumped over body, "I've spent the last 60 hours at the Thousand Sunny, living off vending machine granola bars and hospital coffee."

"Oh."

The dark shadows under his eyes _do_ look deeper than usual.

"Hey, are you up for a little walk? I could use someone to hold an umbrella for me. It might do you some good to get some fresh air, and I promise all the coffee you need when we get back," I entreat him.

He stares down at the wood of the counter top, a serious battle raging on his face, probably weighing the benefits of unlimited coffee versus actually having to get up and move.

The coffee wins.

"Where to?"

"Just a quick trip to the store. I think I need to buy a lot of tissues."

When I went up to give Sabo his birthday cake earlier, there were a lot of used Kleenexes lying around. I'm probably out by now.

I pour him a large to-go cup and he grabs up his bright yellow umbrella, that I notice has the word 'DEATH' written in bold letters on the side.

Huh.

"Has something happened?" he questions as he holds the door and waits for me to pull on a raincoat that someone left on the coat rack.

"Yeah," I smile, glancing back through the kitchen to the stairs, "Something very amazing."

He raises and eyebrow, but shrugs it off and opens the umbrella as we set off to Buggy's.

"So, you missed Astrology and Choclate-Caramel Day last night! It was fun, Kidd brought over a friend who could see the future and then it started raining on us..."

* * *

 **7:00 pm**

Iceburg, Paulie, and a nice lady named Kalifa stopped by for a small dinner earlier. I think I might have scared her a little bit because I remembered her from the last time she came in and complimented my coffee, but _anyway_ apparently she's Iceburg's new secretary! She seems stern and orderly but very capable, so I'm glad that my friend will have someone like her by his side to lend a hand. They invited me to come to Galley-La for their biannual Agua Laguna party.

Because, if it wasn't obvious, yes my friends are the one that have parties during the tidal wave that comes twice a year.

All the while, the three upstairs still have not come down, but now, I hear footsteps on the staircase and they come through the kitchen door.

"May!" Luffy calls excitedly, he and Ace pulling the third towards me and I smile at them all, "May, this is our brother! This is Sabo!'

I can't help it as my smile grows at his delight and joy, and I finally look to the cause of it.

"Hello again," I tell him, "We've sorta met, but I feel like proper introductions are in order. I'm Lily E. May, and it's...quite something to meet you."

He takes my offered hand with a face-splitting smile.

"Yes, hello. I guess you must have some idea who I am, probably even more than I do myself!" he laughs, "But, I am Sabo. Thank you for looking after Luffy and Ace. And also, for the cake, it was delicious."

"Of course! Are you going somewhere?"

"We're showing Sabo our place. We don't want to be rude and take up your home anymore, so we'll be on our way," Ace says and I can see the happiness blazing in his eyes as well.

"May, May, you won't believe it!" Luffy bounces on the balls of his feet, unable to hold in his enthusiasm, "Sabo's been gone for ten years, guess why! He's had mem-"

"I'm sure you can tell me later, Lu," I put my hands on his cheeks and give him a quick squish to quiet him, "I think you guys still have a lot to catch up on."

He grins at me, cheeks pressing up against my palms.

"Thanks, May."

I nod a lean back on the counter; it's wonderful to see my friends this truly happy.

"There's some extra soup in the fridge if you guys want to take it with you, just bring back the pot."

"Thanks a bunch!"

With a final wave and parting goodbye's, they take their leave, holding onto each other as if to confirm that they're real and with them.

Whistling quietly to myself, I switch off the lights and decide to turn in early for the day, Chou Chou following me as I slowly creep my way up the stairs and get ready for bed.

I grin to myself as I settle into the covers.

 _'Something very amazing indeed.'_

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Well! I know a lot of you have been waiting for it, and here it is! SABOOOOOOO! He finally appears, hooray! I'm so happy to have the ASL all together in the story now, I'm in love with seeing modern AU's of them just...all together and happy, and being brothers and, and, and,,, HAPPY dangit! Brothers forever, always together T^T)9 Anyway:**

 **FSG Guest: *snaps away at lightspeed! until i'm just a twinkle in the sky a la Team Rocket style* Ah! By "it's been a while" I meant me replying to you, not that you've been commenting less, haha! Although, it _is_ nice to see you back, I missed you my friend! AND! I hope you liked this chapter, since you've been anticipating it for a long LONG time now :D**

 **Alright everyone, thank you for reading. Stick around!**

 **-jj**


	64. Chapter 59: In Which Aqua Laguna Strikes

**Lil' Note: I just uploaded 2 chapters! Also, in case your wondering, the poll for which story you guys would like to see from me next is still up on my profile and the results so far is this: Shanks has been winning ever since the poll was put up and has been holding steady first for the last couple of months, but Marco suddenly saw a jump and now they're tied. If you guys want to let me know which story you would like me to begin posting after I catch up with this one, it would really help!**

* * *

 **21 March/Monday/6:00 am**

I wait on the trolley platform for the Puffing Tom with Chou Chou in my arms, an umbrella with the DOSKO1 PANDA logo on it keeping me safe from the rain. The cafe is safely boarded up, as are many of buildings throughout Grand Line, in anticipation of Aqua Laguna.

The city has been evacuating those who want to leave since yesterday, and the stragglers are rushing by to get out. Me? I'm headed towards the Water 7 district. Which, as you may recall, is one of the closest districts to the water.

Me and my friends have good ideas, don't you think? Well, we haven't drowned yet during one of our Aqua Laguna parties, so hopefully this won't be the year that we break that lucky streak.

I inhale deeply, letting the scent of rain and wet pavement and crisp air fill my lungs and let out a long and contenting sigh.

"Kishishi, if you keep that up, you'll sigh away your happiness."

I scream and hop-jump away from the person that has been standing beside me. Holy cow! I did not notice him at all, and that must be some kind of accomplishment because he is extremely large and has very flashy attire on. It's like an over-flated balloon that was squeezed off on one end, pushing all the air to the bottom half and those pants could have crawled straight out of a golfing clothing store.

"Oh my god?! You scared me!" I pant, clutching at my chest; the big, _big_ man just laughs his odd laugh again, rather than apologizing like any decent person would.

A few awkward moments pass.

"Er, so are you evacuating?" I try to make small talk. Where is Kokoro? Why can't she get here sooner?

"No. Evacuating is for weaklings."

"Alright then."

I stare down at my feet while I shuffle the foot with Skanda on it and glance around the platform.

 _Choo choo!_

"Oh thank gosh," I whisper under my breath when I hear the Puffing Tom's horn, "Well, uh, nice...to meet you?"

The trolley pulls up and I quickly board, expecting the man to follow, but he just reclines back on the platform's bench, grinning widely.

Isn't his butt getting wet?

 _'Whatever, it's not my problem.'_

"Hi, Kokoro-san, Chimney-chan!"

"Good morning!"

"Alright! Full speed ahead to Water 7!" Kokoro laughs, "Nga? Are Ace and Luffy-san not with you?"

I smile as I take a seat and let Chou Chou down; he and Gonbe sniff each other curiously.

"They're driving over on their own with someone else."

"Interesting! I wonder who the mystery person is. Well, more on that later. Now hold on!"

We rumble through the waterlogged streets of Grand Line, the Puffing Tom seeming to glide over the water as we cut our path to Galley-La.

* * *

 **10:00 am**

The party is just starting to get into full swing when Nami and Ace, Luffy, and the newest person arrive. Makino has been making Bloody Mary's for everyone, along with Blueno! Apparently, Franky met him yesterday, and a fast friendship was born between them, so the blue-haired man extended an invitation to him naturally.

As soon as Nami steps through the doors, people start greeting her left and right, and Iceburg wanders over.

"And now," he says, holding a hand to his ear as if there's an imaginary earpiece there, "To our lovely weather reporter. Nami-san, please give us the news."

"Thank you, Iceburg-san," Nami smiles and assumes a reporterly persona, "It looks like heavy winds and rain all throughout today folks, so don't forget your rain coats! Around noon, strong waves are predicted to start up, making it a bad or awesome time to go surfing depending on your point of view. This will continue for the rest of the afternoon until around five o'clock when the Big One is expected to hit Grand Line City. And that's the news, stay sunny Grand Line, some other corny oneliner. Back over to you, Iceburg-san."

"Nma, you all heard! Let's enjoy ourselves and the first Agua Laguna of the year."

Rounds of cheers go around my friends and the merriment continues. I waddle over to my friends, beaming.

"Eh? Luffy, who's this guy with you? I've never seen him before."

"Everyone! This is Sabo! He's Ace's and me's brother!"

"Whaaat?!"

People flock around them, trying to get a look at Sabo.

"Yeah, yeah," Ace throws his arm over his shoulder, "We haven't heard from him since we were kids. He was in an accident that caused him amnesia, but we crossed paths yesterday! We're gonna help him get all his memories back, they're still pretty patchy."

Sabo gives everyone a small bow.

"Hello. I will be in your care from now on. I hope we can get along."

"So polite!"  
"Are you sure he's related to you guys?"

"Oi, I'm polite!" protests Ace.

"Sure, sure, but Luffy sure isn't. Ahh, what does it matter, now we have even more reason to celebrate!"

"Cheers, cheers!" calls Franky, crying already while he holds Blueno in a one-armed side hug, "Here's to all our friends, new and old!"

"Cheers!"

Drinks get handed over to the new arrivals and the atmosphere becomes more lively and bright even as the weather outside becomes more vicious and foreboding.

* * *

 **1:45 pm**

Chou Chou trots along beside me as I go to fill up my drink, holding the rim of the cup between my teeth as I gimp my way over to the bar that's been set up in the warehouse.

See, the reason why we're able to have these Aqua Laguna parties is because Galley-La doubles as a shelter, an unbreakable fortress almost. It's built to withstand all the natural disasters and extreme weather Grand Line throws at it, so we all feel safe.

One of my crutches snags on a spare length of rope lying around and I go toppling over, because as safe as the warehouse is, it's not the safest for crippled people who also happen to be painfully clumsy at times. Like I've grown accustomed to, I squeeze my eyes shut for the fall.

But, something catches my waist and pulls me back before I can.

"Eep!"

"This seems to be a developing pattern when we meet, Lily-san."

I tilt my head back to see: Kaku's nose.

Really, it's the only thing I can see, it takes up my entire field of vision.

"Ah! I see," I blurt out, "There's no way you can be an ossan with reflexes like that and being able to move that quickly."

"Pardon?" he questions, a politely confused eyebrow lifted.

"You were just over there," I point to where I saw him talking with Lucci a good distance away-or maybe they were just standing silently next to each other since I'm pretty sure Lucci is mute.

"Haha, no I think you're mistaken. I was with Paulie-san a moment ago," he points to where my friend is standing, laughing with Tilestone, and much closer; I look at them, puzzled.

"Huh. Maybe it was Usopp I saw with Lucci-san," I guess out loud.

"Probably. What is you destination?" he inquires.

"I swear it's like talking to someone in a senior home," I mumble; it's hard to think of Kaku as young when he talks the way he does. It's as if there's a barrier in my mind keeping me from seeing him as a peer.

"Oi, May, on your way to the bar?" Ace asks in passing us, "I can take you with me."

"Yeah, but I can get around perfectly fine by myself," I tell him stubbornly.

"Shut up, no you can't."

Before I can get away, Ace swoops down and wraps his arm around my knees and hoists me bodily over his shoulder.

"I got this, bro," he tells Kaku bracingly.

I sigh and lean my elbow on Ace's back to prop my chin up and wave to Kaku as Ace continues to the bar and Chou Chou trails behind us.

"I love Skanda, but he's getting to be a real pain."

He nods.

"Then hurry up and get better."

* * *

 **5:50 pm**

"Alright, everyone! We're getting close, so make sure you have your lights or glowsticks in case power goes out and know how to get to the nearest exit. Other than that-Brook! Some fitting Aqua Laguna music, if you will."

"Yohoho! This one is a little favorite of mine: Octopus's Garden."

I finally decided that it would be best for me to sit down since I can't maneuver around as much as I'd like, something that has only become worse as I've had a couple more drinks. Someone slumps onto the seat next to me with a _fwump!_ and I look over.

"Hello there," I say brightly, "How are you today? I hope everyone's treating you nice?"

"Oh yes," Sabo grins, "They're a very lively bunch, I can see exactly why they're friends with Luffy and Ace."

"It's all good fun. This is the majority of Luffy's group, you should see Ace's family when they all get together."

"Yeah, they told me about Mr. Newgate," he laughs.

We slip into a comfortable silence and watch the party around us.

"So, twelve years is a long time, huh?"

"Sorry?" he asks.

"Twelve years. It's a lot to miss," I tell him as I pull out my phone and go to my Blackmail folder before I smile up at him, "I don't have all the years, but I have good pictures for about two and a half of Luffy and Ace, and a story for each of them. Wanna see?"

He stares at me, floored, for a handful of seconds before stars shoot up in his eyes.

"Yes!"

We sit there on the couch that was pulled out of the worker's break room, swapping stories about the two. Sometimes something I say will spark a memory in him, which he'll tell me about immediately, the animation audible in his voice at having remembered another little detail. We don't notice as the building shakes and rumbles and the lights go out, too wrapped up in our bubble of conversation. It's almost funny how well he can fall in stride with everyone here, but I guess for any brother of Luffy's and Ace's, it's not all that surprising.

"Anyway, so we got stranded in a forest a short way outside the city, we found a nice little lake, one thing led to another, and it froze over while we were skinny dipping in it."

Sabo breaks into boisterous laughter at my latest story and it must be contagious because I have to laugh as well. It _was_ a ridiculous story.

Someone taps my shoulder and I look over; it's Nami.

"Sorry to break up your talk, but the weather is clearing up. Do you want a ride home, May?" she asks.

"Did Aqua Laguna already pass?" I ask in surprise, glancing around and noticing that it's dark for the first time, "Wow, I didn't even notice."

"Yeah, and I have an early day tomorrow, so I'm heading out."

"Even in this weather, you're working so hard," I admire her, "Sure, just let me say bye to a few people."

I turn back to Sabo and start gathering my things.

"We only got through about half of the photos I have, so if you'd like to hear more, I'm usually around at the cafe," I inform him, leaving the offer open.

"Thank you so much, I am very grateful," he says, standing and helping me to my feet.

"Anytime."

Nami carries me over to where Luffy is meeting Lucci for the first time ("A bird...? It has a tie!" "Hello." " _It can speak?! And it has a_ **_tie_** _!_ ") where I give him a quick hug and then over to Ace, who sees us out.

"It's amazing that Sabo has showed up," Nami says as we walk to her car, "I never knew you two had a third brother."

"Yeah...it really is amazing," Ace murmurs quietly, helping me get situated in the passenger side with my crutches, "Drive safe, you two."

"Yup. See you around."

Nami drives us through the slowly draining streets, the eventful week of the year's first Aqua Laguna drawing to a close.

"Can't wait for the next one."

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Wow, everyone, thank you so much! The last chapter got a huge spike in reviews (which I'll be answering individually, but I have stuff to do right now)**

 **As per request of a Guest that commented in Chapter 2, I have compiled a comprehensive list of pairings that you guys have liked/told me you would like in the order they appeared:**

 **-Mace (May/Ace) (aka Thermodynamic Equilibrium thanks to Archaeological ;D)  
-Lawly: (May/Law) (aka Caffeine Addicts Anonymous)  
-Sabay or Saly: (May/Sabo) (ship name not confirmed, I leave it to you guys)  
-Maytenance: (May/Quintin) (not really lol, but this was hilarious)  
-Hawk's Nest: (Nester/Mihawk)  
-Shakino: (Shanks/Makino)  
-Madd: (May/Kidd)  
-Smoace: (Smoker/Ace)  
-Lacely: (May/Ace/Law) (aka Odd Hours Crew)  
-Namay: (Nami/May) (the best one imho)  
-Navi: (Nami/Vivi) (another good, wholesome ship)  
-Mayco: (May/Marco)  
-Maku: (May/Kaku) (I strangely like this one? I did not expect it to be a thing, but wow)**

 **Guest also asked for possible May ships. Here's my thoughts on that: Please! Feel free to ship May with anyone! I only ask that you try to keep it to a person (or people) that is a reasonable age. May is 21/22. I'm pretty ok with age gaps, but over 6yrs is pushing it, and 10 is usually just no. It's the reason I'm not enthusiastic about some OP ships (Smoace, NamiRobin, Robin/younger Strawhats, even Marace ((b/c we don't know Marco's age for sure, but I see him ~Shanks' age)) for instance). I don't have anything against these ships, they even have cute fanart/fics centered around them that I'll enjoy sometimes, but please understand that age gaps make me uncomfortable. That said, don't let me limit you! I'm so glad that you guys are invested enough in this story, enough to make ships and discuss and defend them :D**

 **Anyway, thanks for reading!**

 **-jj**


	65. Chapter 60: In Which A Different View Is

**23 March/Wednesday/7:00 am**

The cafe this morning is nice and peaceful, which I'm sure won't last.

Aqua Laguna has come and gone. It's always a little scary when the big wave surges over Grand Line, but after two years here, it's become sort of exciting! The weather has gone right back to its normal chaos: a couple tornadoes ran through the streets yesterday, but fortunately didn't cause much damage and that evening a heat wave rolled through, so strong you could cook an egg on the sidewalk.

I sit in the front of the cafe, soaking up the warm sun that shines through the windows and enjoying the quiet that is inevitably going to be broken. The smell of coffee wafts through the cafe and the soft _scritch! scritch!_ of pen on paper whispers through it as well.

 _-CRASH-_

The front window smashes open and in roll Luffy and Usopp, wrestling with each other. They tumble closer and closer, throwing punches, kicks, and throwing stars at each other until they finally slam into me, breaking me clean in two.

Oh, yeah.

I guess I should introduce myself at this point.

I'm a table in the cafe that belongs to May. I wasn't always a cafe table, but I find this kind of life has a sort of glamour to it that you can't get as an common dining table, even if it can be a dangerous job sometimes.

My name is Quintin.

"What the hell, you two?!" May yells at the boys, pulling her phonebooks towards her and hurling them, "It's too early for you to be breaking Quintin!"

* * *

 **11:05 am**

A normal day at the cafe is pretty busy for me. Not many customers will sit at me unless it's very full, but May and her family usually sit with me, which is my favorite!

For now, May, Ace and Luffy and the someone new, are sitting around me having brunch. Usopp-kazoku apologized earlier and was able to fix me up temporarily until the Galley-La family can pick me up. I guess they're busy today, or that's what it sounded like when May called them, but I don't mind! I have a very important job to fulfill right now, to be a place for bonding. It has been my most precious task ever since I first came to E and May. After all, sitting down and eating a meal together is the ultimate act of cementing a relationship, and I have the honor to be the platform for it!

This means that the one who has shown up recently, Sabo, will be Sabo-kazoku from now on. Just like Luffy and Ace when May and I moved to this city, and then everyone else after that, so our family is full and bursting with many people, which I'm sure E and Lottie would be happy about.

"So, Sabo, what do you do?"

"Well I'm-," Ace kicks his shin underneath my surface and Sabo jumps slightly, but straightens up and smiles as if he didn't, "-mmm into working abroad. I have to move around a lot for the work I do, but I've been staying in Grand Line for the past couple of years."

"That sounds awesome! Where have you been to so far?"

Moments like these happen sometimes, when the family will kick each other while they're with me. Sanji and Zoro-kaizoku do it a lot, and so do Robin and Franky (although their kicks seem much gentler? I wonder why that is), but the kicks never are meant to hurt, I think.

"Man, I'm so tired," Luffy stretches over the back of his chair with a wide yawn, "I didn't realize we stayed so late playing baseball last night. Could go for a nap right now."

"Nah, it wasn't that we stayed so late, it was that you sent a ball through someone's window and they called the cops," Ace tells his brother, also leaning back with a satisfied puff, "You'd think Smokie would go easier on us now that we're friends. Bugger can really run for a long time even though he looks so old."

"You weren't friends before? I thought he was alright from what you told me."

"No we were," May tells Sabo, filling up his cup with the teapot, "He just didn't know it."

"It's a good thing we are, too! Smo-san didn't have hardly anyone before we came along," says Luffy, who then promptly falls asleep, and then literally falls because he had been tipping his chair back.

At the same time, Ace's head drops back and his hat falls to the floor, dead-asleep.

"Those two must've pretty tired," May comments calmly, sipping her tea.

Sabo laughs, "It was fun, though! You have quite the pitcher's arm on you. I've never seen someone throw a ball that fast."

"It's all about how you look at it," she smiles, then rests her elbow on me to look over at Luffy, who's snoring lightly on the ground, "I almost feel like joining them. I didn't get to go to bed at all."

"If you'd like, I can keep an eye on things. I'll wake you up if anyone comes in," offers Sabo, getting up and hoisting his brothers onto the coffeeshop's couch.

May waves a hand in front of her face.

"No, no I couldn't ask you to do that-"

She doesn't get to finish before her face hits my top, out cold.

"Yeah, I'll do that," he murmurs to himself and gently picks her to situate her on the couch as well, where Luffy and Ace both sprawl out over her immediately in their sleep.

"Have a good rest."

* * *

 **2:00 pm**

The bell rings as Kidd, or as everyone calls him, Red, comes in. I like Kidd. He's loud and aggressive sometimes, but once when May wasn't looking, he noticed one of my legs was cracked, so he pulled some scrap metal out of his pocket and fashioned a quick brace for me, and he's done some similar things a couple times. I also like him because he's like me: one of his legs is missing. Franky had to replace one of mine because Ace accidentally burned it off a couple years ago, and I don't know what happened to Kidd, but one of his legs is different from the rest of him. Shanks and Zeff-kaizoku are missing legs too, so I feel better about missing one of mine.

"Hello! Welcome~!" Sabo calls from behind the counter, where he's been straightening some things and fiddling with the coffee machine; I think he's been having fun since May is still asleep because no one else has come in today.

"What the fu- Who the hell are you?" Red-kaizoku asks, "Where's May?"

"I'm the new barista," Sabo grins, poking fun at him, "What do you think? I put on an apron to get more into character, but I think I might need a few piercings, maybe a couple tattoos, I think I might even try to go for a beard. What are your thoughts?"

"Don't fuck with me, asshole," snarls Red.

"She's on the couch right in front of you," he points out with a good-natured smile.

"What the hell? Who sleeps in the middle of the a cafe?" Red leans over the back of the couch, seeing the three huddled up on it; he pokes May's cheek.

She wakes up with a start and sits bolt upright, waking up the other two in the process.

"Gah! What year is it?!" she says, looking around wildly, disorientated, "Whoa, when did I fall asleep?"

"Morning, sleepyheads," Sabo tells them as Luffy glances arround, then rolls over on the couch and goes back to sleep.

"Mornin'," Ace yawns, leaning an elbow on May's shoulder lethargically, "Oh, hey Red."

"What are you doing?"

"Sleeping, obviously," May responds, pulling out her phone and taking in the time, "Wow, already two. Well, at least I got my three hours in, so I guess it's alright. Need some coffee, Red?"

"Sure. Who's this asshole playing behind the counter?" he jabs a thumb at Sabo, who waves.

"Ah, this is Sabo, Ace and Luffy's brother! Sabo, this is Red."

"Christ, there's another one of you? What a nightmare."

"Hey, the best things come in threes."

* * *

 **6:00 pm**

May has gone shopping with some of her family because they're going to have hot pot tonight and need some things for it. Franky-kaizoku stayed behind to fix me because Usopp's temporary supports fell apart when Nami accidentally bumped into me.

"Quintin-bro, you've done a good job holding out," Franky tells me, patting my top, "We'll have you fixed up in no time! You're the only table here that can hold all of us for a meal, so we need you."

While he puts me back together, I think back to the very first time I was a table for family.

 _"Ta-da!"_

 _A woman with long blond hair set me down inside the corner of a small house. She had picked me up and put me in the back of a truck, and that was the first thing I knew._

 _A small girl with shorter hair, looked at the woman in wide-eyed confusion as she displayed it proudly with a dramatic pose, asking silently what was so special about a piece of wood. I wondered the same thing._

 _"This, my dear, is a table," she explained, crossing her arms and puffing out her chest with importance, "A table is a very important thing, you understand? It's where you sit and eat with friends and family. And there is no way better than to bond with people than eating with them! Thus, a table is the ultimate place of brethren and kinship!"_

 _She ended her passionate speech with a striking stance, her finger pointing towards the roof. The girl didn't seem to fully understand, but she clapped her hands with excitement anyway._

 _"Now, since this table is our most special place of binding, he'll need a good strong name. Well, we can think of one later, when it comes to mind, but for now, I guess I'd better get started on our first proper meal as a family."_

 _The little girl nodded and clapped her hands again and the woman was about to start preparing the food for their first meal as a proper family, but took a second look at the table. Something was missing…_

 _"OH NO! I FORGOT TO BUY CHAIRS!"_

That first time, May and E had to stand around me to eat that dinner, but it was then that I understood my importance. And I'm always glad that I've been able to carry it out to this day and share in everyone's adventures.

* * *

 **8:00 pm**

A full out battle of wills rages quietly above me as the hotpot simmers and everyone else stares each other down.

"Zoro, that pork is mine," Luffy says, deadly serious.  
"In your dreams, bean sprout."  
"I call the kamaboko."  
"I saw it first, I called dibbs!"  
"I'm the one who bought it!"

Sanji turns over one of the pieces of meat.

"It's ready."

Chaos breaks out as everyone attacks the dish with their chopsticks.

"It's mine!"  
"Like hell!"

Fists slam down on my top and I can feel the creaks go through me.

"Fight me!"  
"You're on."

"No fighting over the table! And get your feet off Quintin, you're gonna break him."  
"Ah! He broke!"  
"You dunderheads, I just fixed him!"  
"Nooo! Save the hot pot!"

It's always so lively with the family. But I love it.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! This was a bit of a short chapter, I'm here to answer some reviews and give a heads up- I'll probably be gone on the 7th or I'll only have time for one chapter like I did today** (cause it's my b-day, what who said that) **but I swear I'm working on it!** **Anyway! Here we have Quintin! If you want to see him, I have some designs for him based off Klabautermann on my tumblr, and a few explanations about him over there as well.**

 **Anytoodles, here're some reviews (Which AAAA (that's me screaming) u guys are so great, I'm having a hard time keeping up with them!)**

 **FSG- Ah! Actually, May's full name would be Lily Evangeline May (Or, if we're going by Western rules of names, May Evangeline Lily), she just shortens it to 'E.' but yes, w/out the middle name, she's simply Lily May. (And btw, I _did_ draw that scene with Chou Chou on May's head over on my tumblr :D Just sayin') *finger snappy guns intensifies and out!***

 **C- AAATHANKS VERY MUCH I cri evrytiem 2 my friend, I cri (As a side note, what was supposed to be 33? haha)**

 **Thanks for reading everyone! Stick around!**

 **-jj**


	66. Chapter 61: In Which There Are Cocktails

**24 March/Thursday/8:00 am**

"Yo! May!" Is Ace's greeting when he kicks down the door this morning, leaving a muddy boot-print on the wood, arms full of paper bags, "Cocktails all today, I just dropped by Party's to get some stuff from Makino. Luffy's staying there for breakfast and show her Sabo. She really missed him, she smacked me and Lu for not bringing him by sooner, haha."

"That sounds nice. So, what'd'ya bring?" I ask excitedly.

"Just about the entire contents of a small bar. Take a look," he sets down the bags on the counter and starts pulling out bottle after bottle of booze and a couple mixers, "I'm thinking I'll get some some coffee granita going and make some mimosa sangrias first."

"Sounds like a plan. How do pancakes with bacon and and some fruit sound?"

"Hell yeah!"

Working side by side, we put together a scrumptious breakfast, occasionally stealing slices of fruit from each other as he makes the mimosas and I make the pancakes with fruit. He tosses me a raspberry over his shoulder as he puts the granita in one of the freezers, which I try to catch in my mouth but fail spectacularly and it bounces off my nose, so I cheat and catch it for real and pop it into my mouth.

"Nice," he tells me with a chuckle.

"Right though?"

We sit at Quintin with Momo-chan, a dainty bunch of orange kalanchoes in a pretty little ceramic pot with polka dots on it, gracing us today.

"What about that one?" Ace asks, pointing to Sunny who is sitting atop the phonebooks today, "Do they have a name?"

"Yup," I smile, resting my chin on my fist, "Sunny. Lu wanted to name them, but he was a bit late. He got to name Kauriraris though."

"Ah, those are good names for them!"

The bell rings and Law stumbles in, looking tired. So, basically the same as ever.

"Morning!"

"Stop smiling this early in the morning, it's unnatural, both of you," he says, slumping down at Quintin without ceremony.

"Nope~!"

He steals Ace's coffee.

"What's with the drinks?" he asks as he takes a sip of the stolen coffee.

"It's National Cocktail Day!" I explain as Ace and I clink glasses while he tries to reclaim his coffee from Law.

"Finally, I stupid holiday I can get behind. What are you having?"

"Mimosa sangria, want one?" Ace offers, giving up on his coffee.

"Please."

While he gets up to pour another glass (and get himself another coffee), I lean back and heft my legs up onto the table, getting comfy. Hufa Weituo Zuntian Pusa (Skanda) is looking just as bright and colorful as ever, but some of the marker looks a little faded, so I might ask my friends to add some new doodles to him or at least go back over their art that's already there. And yes, I do consider Skanda art, thank you very much.

"How's life?" I ask Law leisurely, feeling very content after a good breakfast.

"It's a thing that's happening," he shrugs.

"True," I nod sagely, "There's some extra bacon and fruit if you'd like some. We had pancakes too, but I don't think you'd want any."

"That would be alright," he accepts, and I push the fruit bowl towards him and the rest of the bacon that I managed to save from the blackhole known as Ace's stomach.

Said blackhole sits back down, handing over the mimosa to Law, who nods gratefully and takes a sip; his eyebrows shoot up in mild amazement.

"This is surprisingly good."

"Yeah, man, I basically grew up in Makino's bar," Ace says, puffing up proudly with a self-praising expression on his freckled face, "I know how to make some good drinks."

"Cheers!" I call and we raise our glasses.

I think it's going to be a pretty good day.

* * *

 **12:05 pm**

I have a cake with me at the counter so that I can frost it and still keep an eye on the front of the coffeeshop. It's Thatch's birthday today, so of course I'm making his cake!

We're having a little get together at Oyaji's place, of course, and I do use the term 'little' extremely loosely, because nothing is ever little with that family. It's what makes them so wonderful, I think.

It's raining again, but it's a gentle, soothing kind of warm showers that pour down today, unlike the storms from the past week.

"-The book shop is doing well," Robin tells me as she sits at the counter, "There's been a 5% increase in sales this month, and I got a brand new batch of history books in that I've been reading in my spare time. It's always so much fun to see what excuses people used to kill each other in all sorts of ways."

She chuckles softly and takes a sip of the champagne punch bellini Ace mixed for me before he left, along with couple other tasty drinks.

"But besides that, Jinbe has told me that there are many cherry trees close to his teahouse that are ready to bloom in the Spring. He'd like to hold a hanami for everyone."

"That sounds lovely," I say, as the bell rings above the door; it's Blueno.

"Good day," he says, stepping up to the counter; I notice Robin tilt her face away from him discreetly as she sips her bellini and pulls out her phone to look at it.

"Hello! How are you today, Mr. Blueno?"

"Fair. I wondered if later tonight you would like to step next door," he tells me, his sleepy smile in place like usual, "I don't know if you know, but it's National Cocktail Day, so I wanted to offer my fellow business owners in the area a free drink, on me."

"Another holiday enthusiast!" I cry with delight, "I didn't know you kept track of small holidays! Yes, of course I'd love to come over, you should invite Goro-san and Gedatsu-san across the street, oh, and Robin here owns a bookstore a ways down Red Line-"

I get a little too excited and choke on my own breath, sending me into a slight coughing fit.

"Please- _cough cough-_ Excuse me," I choke out, voice rough, and wipe the tears that have gathered in my eyes from the violent hacking away with the sleeve of my big comfy black sweater (where did I get this jacket again?); he lifts a lazy eyebrow, but soon regains his passive expression.

"Not at all," he says courteously, then glances sideways at Robin, who is still staring off to the side; I wonder what she's looking at?, "It would be a pleasure to see you there as well...Robin-san."

At this moment, one of Quintin's legs gives out unexpectedly and he crashes to the side with a startling _thud!_

"Aw, shoot," I groan, picking up my crutches and hobbling over to him with a couple of phonebooks, "Franky must have missed that. I'll have to get him to fix it soon."

I shove the phonebooks under his broken leg for a makeshift support.

When I turn back around, Blueno is staring at me oddly.

"Hm? Is something wrong?"

"Those shorts..." he starts; I'm wearing my favorite pair of shorts that I got from Nami, the ones that say 'Juicy' on the back. They're my favorite because they're so comfy, "May-san, do you sell your coffee beans to others?"

"Uhh, no?" Why is he asking? That's a really random question. Oh! Maybe he wants to buy some.

"So, you don't deliver coffee beans to any...businesses, or offices? Like, oh I don't know, maybe G-1?"

The memory of smoke alarms and dust explosions triggers a red alarm in my head, and I immediately become nervous.

"What? G-1? Uh, no, um, not really, I mean I did make some coffee there once, but that was it! Nothing else happened, hahahaha!"

I see Robin put a hand over her behind Blueno. Even I know that doesn't mean a good thing.

"I see. Well, if you'll excuse me, I have some things I need to take care of."

With that, he walks briskly out the door.

"What just happened?" I ask out loud, confused beyond belief.

Robin just shrugs. I guess there are some things that she doesn't even know.

* * *

 **4:00 pm**

"Traffy, Traffy! Look, this is my brother, Sabo! He's cool, right? Right?! Did you know that he's super smart? He went to a really advanced private school when we were younger and he graduated college when he was fourteen!"

Luffy and his brother's have come over for an afternoon snack at my place, and Law strolled in as well, for a refill on coffee while he's on break. Luffy has been talking nonstop about Sabo; it's really endearing to see him admire his older brother so much.

"He also knows more than fifty styles of martial arts from all around the Four Blues, and he can whistle!"

"How impressive," Law says flatly.

"Luffy, you don't need to tell this guy about me," Sabo tries to calm him down, looking a bit bashful that he's bragging so much about him, "I'm sure he doesn't want to hear."

"Of course he does!" Luffy says brightly, "Everyone needs to know about you, 'cause you're so cool!"

"Hehe, well, I guess I _am_ a pretty cool big bro, aren't I?"

"Sure, but I think we can agree _I'm_ the hot one," Ace butts in.

"Anyway guess what!" Luffy takes over the conversation again, "Sabo's moving in with us!"

"Wow, that's awesome!" I say, "Are you guys sharing a room?"

"Yup! Franky's gonna tear down the wall between me and Ace's room so we can all be in one big room! It'll be like a sleepover every night!"

After the brothers leave (Ace ever-so-tactfully didn't give any alcohol to Luffy, so the teen is still able to walk), Law remains pretty quiet, and looks a little moodier than usual. Maybe. It's hard to tell.

"Everything alright?"

"I graduated medical school when I was thirteen," he mutters.

"Sorry?"

"What's with those three? Everything he says is 'Sabo this, Sabo that'," he grumbles, "Are they even related? They look nothing like each other."

I stare at him for a few moments.

"Oh my god, Law, are you being jealous?!" I burst out, laughing, "That's adorable."

" _No,_ I am not _jealous,_ " he hisses, actually _hisses._

"It's okay, it's okay!" I wave a hand at him, "Everyone around Luffy goes through a 'grab for his attention' stage. Sanji slips in and out of his phase. I think Vivi had hers for about one day and was over it. I believe Hancock is permanently stuck in hers. Zoro too. Don't worry, he loves you still, just the same."

I reassure him by patting his shoulder and I swear he almost bites my hand.

* * *

 **7:00 pm**

Party's Bar is packed and lively even though it's a Thursday, because of _course_ everyone's celebrating National Cocktail Day here too! A lot of us will be heading over to Whitebeard's later, to celebrate Thatch's birthday, because we can't forget that, where we'll break out the cake. Until then, I've made a promise not to have too many drinks tonight, since I've been having more than a few throughout the day already. But it's alright, because I still get to have some of Makino's drinks. Ace may make some pretty delicious ones, but nothing beats Makino's.

Paulie is having a riot with a growing group around him and Iceburg, the latter of which is blushing furiously and chugging down his cocktail.

"What's going on over here?" I ask, falling into the seat next to him and leaning on his shoulder to look at his phone which he's showing off to anyone in the near vicinity.

"Ahaha, oh May, I have some really good photos of Iceburg," he crows, "You should've seen it today! I walk into Boss' office today 'cause I had a question about an upcoming project, and-ahaha, this is what I walked into: Boss handcuffed to his chair and butt-ass naked!"

"Lemme see!" I make grabby hands for the phone and crack up laughing when I see the photos, and new rings of laughter start up at Iceburg's expense.

"Oh my god," I can't hold back the giggles, and my side is starting to hurt, "Iceburg-san, what did you do?!"

"Like hell am I telling you assholes," he growls, "It was Kalifa. Nma! Wait, no I didn't say that!"

We all dissolve into uncontrollable laughter, and Iceburg takes Paulie's drink and starts downing that too.

"She tricked me!" he protests, "I swear I'm never going to be seduced again. And work relationships are prohibited from now on!"

He buries his face in his hands and we all try to choke down the laughs.

"She told me she's twenty-three. I thought she was so much older than that. I feel so dirty."

"We didn't actually do anything," he says in defense; someone pats his back, smothering their mouth to keep from laughing, but still trying to be sympathetic.

, "She just got me in the...state Pualie found me in, said it was sexual harassment and walked out."

"Well, if it's any comfort," Paulie claps his shoulder, "...At least we get a good laugh out of it."

He breaks right at the end of his sentence and everyone starts laughing again. Iceburg moodily steals three more people's drinks out of their hands. We're still howling by the time Franky runs in, out-of-breath, and Paulie calls out to him cheerily.

"Yo, Franky! I've got something good for you to see, come and look-!"

"Robin's missing!"

The entire bar falls silent at his panicked shout. No one moves and it's like the air has been sucked out of the room as everyone stares at him, not processing what he said.

"I can't find her and she hasn't answered her phone in hours. Did you hear me?! _Robin is missing!"_

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! *gasp!* A cliffhanger?! Oh no! What will happen?! Sorry to leave you guys on this, I only have time for this one chapter today. But never fear! Robin's gonna be ok (OR WILL SHE?!) Just kidding lol (OR AM I?) Jk Also, I'm very sorry but I don't have time for answering reviews atm, but thanks for everyone who sent the bday congrats! You guys rock ~u~**

 **Thank you for reading, and stick around! I won't leave you guys hanging for long, promise.**

 **-jj**

 **(PS I will be closing the poll soon, and Marco is winning, so if you guys want to have your input, get over there soon and vote, b/c I will start posting the next story v soon!)**


	67. Chapter 62: In Which There Is A Goat

**25 March/Friday/7:00 am**

I should be enjoying waffles right now. All of my friends should be crammed into the cafe, chatting and laughing, and eating waffles with twenty different kinds of syrup, because what else are you supposed to do on Waffle Day?

Instead, we all sit around Quintin, gravely discussing what we can do.

Robin has been missing since last night. Apparently, I was last person to see her before we lost track of her, so that means she's been missing possibly more than twelve hours and everyone is slightly scared even though they don't say it.

The rain has continued from yesterday, but rather than warm and healing, it seems dull and gloomy.

"Are you sure we checked everywhere?" Nami slams her fists on Quintin, refusing to accept our failure to find our friend, "She didn't leave any notes, call anyone, anything?"

"She would've told me if she was going somewhere," Franky growls.

"Oh, yeah, and how do you know that!?"

Tempers are running a bit high at the moment. We stayed the whole night up, looking in places we thought she might have gone to and asking around. I had to apologize to Thatch that I couldn't be there to celebrate his birthday, but he was understanding. He sent me a text early this morning that the cake was really good.

"Alright, let's have some tea and calm down," Brook says placatingly, "We won't be any good if we're fighting among ourselves."

"This is so stupid!" says Luffy in agitation, tugging at the hairs at the base of his neck, "I want to punch something."

"You don't think someone attacked her and kidnapped her, do you?" Chopper worries, eyes wide and watery.

"Hell no," Zoro says flatly, "She can kick ass with her eyes closed, no one's getting a one up on her by surprise."

"So... you're saying...she left willingly?" Chopper seems even more broken at the thought.

"Chop, don't listen to Zoro, he's a fucking idiot," Usopp tells him, patting his head comfortingly.

" _Oi."_

"No, this isn't doing anything!" Sanji snaps, grinding out a cigarette on Quintin; I choose not to say anything, "Is there anything we're not thinking of? Are there any cameras around here we can hack into? Something?"

"I already checked the ones I have set up around the cafe and Robin's place," Nami shakes her head, "Nothing. We might ask Iceburg if he can get us access to the city's cameras, maybe Vivi, but I just...I just don't know what we can do!"

Luffy puts a hand on her shoulder as she covers her face.

"I'll ask big bro if he can get us those cameras," Franky says, getting up to leave and drowning his coffee, "Let you guys know if anything turns up."

"I guess I'll ask Vivi," sighs Nami, getting up as well, "Luffy, is there any chance you could...ask your grandpa if he knows anything?"

Luffy looks scared for a moment, but then swallows and nods.

"Anything for Robin."

"Alright. Everyone keep each other updated. If you hear anything, let us know immediately," Brook concludes,and my friend shamble their ways out into the rain and on their separate ways.

* * *

 **11:45 am**

The rain is relentless in its quest to suck all the joy out of the world, and as if they're mocking me, a couple of street performers are outside the coffeeshop. They look vaguely familiar; I think I remember seeing a giraffe on Red Line once, and maybe I've seen that kabuki performer before, but I don't really care about them. I'm so worried about Robin.

Except, I do care enough to go outside with an umbrella and offer them to step in and have some coffee. It must be miserable having to stay out in the rain like that.

"Thaaaank yooouu for this most appreciated refreshment!" the kabuki-man sings out as he accepts his coffee, "Your gracious generosityyy will forever be remembered, yoyoi!"

"Yes, this is quite delicious," a large man with what looks like a zipper for a mouth says.

"You're welcome."

I lean listlessly on the counter, not really paying attention to the eccentric people in my cafe—the giraffe outside is drinking from the rain gutter where some pigeons are enjoying a nice bath.

"Damn, those guys were right what they told us. This is some good coffee," the man with a scar over his eye and who is wearing sunglasses (even though it's cloudy...) remarks and that piques my interest somewhat.

"Ah, did you here about my coffee from someone?" I ask halfheartedly, still leaning heavily on my hand that's propped on the counter; not even hearing my coffee praised is enough to bring me out of this somber mood, "It's good, right?"

"Right," the last one chuckles, the man that looks like some sort of...rodent? I think so, "That's why you'll be coming with us, shao."

"Wha-?"

Before I can finish my question, some kind of cloth is shoved in my face, there's a wood varnish kind of smell, and that's all I remember.

* * *

 **?:? ?**

" _...I asked you to bring them here, you didn't need to knock them out!"_

 _"Well, sorry Boss. Force of habit, I guess."_

 _"Thanks to you, we have to wait for her to wake up and I'm expecting some others here soon."_

As I start to become conscious of my surrounding world, the first thing I hear is voices, although focusing on them is difficult with the thick sludge-like swamp my mind has become that I'm trying wade through. As you might imagine, it's not as easy as it sounds. It feels like a viscous syrup is stuck to me and all around my mind, clouding it as my eyes blink blearily open. The world never comes into focus, try as I might to blink the blur away.

' _Oh,'_ I think sluggishly, _'I don't think I'm wearing my glasses.'_

My head flops to the side and I focus on a white round blur on the wall that I'm...forty percent sure is a clock and watch the hands move. What seems to be a couple seconds is actually a couple minutes as I watch the black hands move and I finally start to get feeling back in my fingers. I try wiggling one and bring it to hover above my face to see if it's actually moving. I can only hold it there for a few moments, flexing my fingers, because it feels like my arm is weighted down and it soon flops back down to my side.

"Ah, you're awake," someone says, and I slowly blink at the person that's suddenly at my side. It's like they're face is floating above me, a blurry not-on-fire version of the sun, "Apologies that we had to meet like this, my men were a bit...unorthodox in bringing you here."

"We were perfectly orthodox for us," someone I can't see says.

"Right well," Mr. Sun says briskly, "How are you feeling?"

"Fingers are really cool," I respond drowsily, "Have you ever thought about it? How cool our fingers are? They just... _do_ stuff."

"Christ, how much of that stuff did you give her? What did you say you used again?"

"Sevoflurane, and apparently not enough to off her, so we good here, right? Can we go now? I have a date with my girlfriend."

"Very well, dismissed."

The sound of shuffling feet and a door clicking shut. I decide it's too bright in here for my eyes, even though Mr. Sun himself isn't bright, and throw my arm over my face.

Ow, I think I just hit my hand on the back of whatever sofa or chair I'm laid out in.

"Miss May?"

"Mmhm?" I groan out; it feels like something is gnawing on my foot, but I don't want to move my arm to see what it is.

"I brought you here for a specific reason. I have cause to believe it was you who was here on the twenty-ninth of February, delivering coffee, is that correct?" Mr. Sun-san asks; ughhh, why is he talking, can't he see I'm sleeeeeepy?

"Maybe, I don't know, could've been anyone, did you know that February is the shortest month of the year-" I drawl out, but he cuts me off; _rude._

"Yes, I'm aware. That day, I had some of the best coffee in my life, and I instantly sought out a team of highly skilled investigators, the best Grand Line has to offer, to find you. I had some difficulty this past month, because I first mistook you for a male which threw off the investigation, but one of the members of this team was able to put two and two together after meeting you-"

He says some more boring things that sort of flatlines into a boring drone in the background as I try to map out what is going on in my head. It's all very murky still, but I think I have a pretty good grasp on what's going on right now: there was some kind of thing they gave me which is probably why it's so fuzzy right now, there's something about coffee, something about a girlfriend, and something-something special investigators, which sounds a lot like alligators, which is cool I never noticed that.

And also, a goat. Which I think is the thing chewing on my foot currently.

So, yeah, I think I've got everything down.

"In short, I wanted to ask you if you would be willing to provide coffee to G-1 and all of Grand Line's Police stations, and offices like Enies Lobby, where we are right now. For a fair compensation of course, but we simply must have your coffee."

"I prefer tea myself," I comment flippantly.

"So, we have a deal? Name your price, then."

"10824," Is the first number that comes to mind even though I'm not quite sure what he's asking, so I say that.

"You drive a hard bargain, but I accept," he takes my hand that's not covering my face and shakes it; I finally peek out from my arm and blink at him groggily.

"...Who are you?"

"The name is Sengoku," Mr. Sun says; huh, I think I'm a little more clear now, so I think I'll sit up now.

"Welp, this has been fun, but I need to get back to my cafe," I tell him as I get up and promptly stumble forward, "...Why do my legs not work good?"

"You have a cast on, miss. Please, feel free to stay here until the effects wear off. I'm afraid they gave you too big of a dose," he helps me back onto the couch and I give him a thumbs up, "I will be having people here to discuss some matters shortly, but please don't mind them."

"You got it, Sun-san," I give him another thumbs up and collapse back on the couch; this thing is super comfy.

I don't know how much time passes, but when someone calls my name, I open my eyes. Still sleepy.

"Usopp."

Usopp is looking down at me in surprise, and Robin is right next to him. I wave to her.

"Hey, Ro, we've been lookin' for you," I mumble out, doing my best to point sternly at them in my anesthetic-induced haze, "Jus' a moment, stay right where you are."

I wiggle to turn over on my side so I can jimmy my phone out of my pocket and take a picture of the two of them who are still standing there looking surprised and put it into a mass text to...everyone on my contact list 'cause my fingers feel slightly numb and can't press the screen that well. I put it on the voice command thingie.

"Heyyyyy, so Usopp found Robin. 'M kinda hopped up on sumkinda drug ri'now, don'know when it'll wear off r'what itis but 'm at somewhere called Enes Lobster? I think, yea, and Mr. Sun says hello! Oh, and also, a goat."

I hit send and put back my phone, satisfied with my work.

"Cool, it all works out," I nod to myself and straightaway fall asleep.

* * *

 **?:? ?**

I wake up with a snort as the building I'm in shudders around me. My head is feeling slightly better, more like a vague fog has descended on it rather than the swampy bog it was since the last time I was awake. I have no idea how much time has passed since then.

"Huh, wuzzat?"

I blearily pull out my phone and try to look at the time, but I see that I have 101 missed calls and a lot of text messages. A loooooot of text messages.

I almost drop my phone on my face when it rings, startling me.

"Yo! Wha'sup?"

" _May! What the flipping **fuck** , where have you been?! Is Robin with you?!" _Have to hold phone away from ear; this person's loud, sounds sorta like Franky.

"Ensalada Lobos, s'acool place.

"Yes, we know where you are, but do you know which room you're in specifically? We're trying not to blow you to bits."

"Mr. Sun's office. Mr. Sun...gecko. Something," I struggle to remember, but then give up and ask curiously, "Explosions? Is Ace with you?"

"Yeah, he's pretty pissed. We've gotten to the incoherent swearing," Franky says, "Get a listen."

He holds the phone away from himself so that I can hear other people in the background.

" _Fuck you in the dickhole with a shovel, you bitch-lickers!"_

Several smaller explosions fire off in rapid succession, so it sounds like he was throwing explosives.

"Oo, that bad, huh?"

"Pretty bad," Franky gets back on as I hear people on the other side try to calm Ace down from his rampage, to which he replies with an eloquent, " _Piss off, you tits."_

Someone grabs the phone from my hand to speak with Franky.

"Don't try to come and get me," How long has Robin been here?, "I'm not worth the trouble."

"Yeah, we'll be there soon," I hear Franky say bluntly, ignoring her words, "Can you help May or something? I think she's out of her mind right now."

"Did you just hear me?" she demands, "I said-"

"Yeah, I heard what you said. I don't give a fuck. We had a date planned tonight, you're not walking out on me, babe."

Robin smiles, but her eyes look very shiny; can't really tell, no glasses, remember? There's some ' _oooh'_ ing and wolf-whistling in the background.

"You're a fucking idiot," she tells him quietly.

The door gets kicked down, revealing my friends, Franky holding the phone.

"Guilty as charged. Now, grab May, we're blowing this pop stand to hell."

"Hey guys!" I wave cheerfully, but my arm is feeling rather like a limp noodle right now.

Everything's still a blur, but I can feel someone pick me up, and there's a lot of orange in my vision, so I'm _pretty_ sure I know who it is, but there's the sound of breaking glass and a weightless sensation, and because I don't have anything better to do, I cheer like I'm on a roller coaster as several explosions go off. It's fun!

"Wow, May is _seriously_ gone. Maaaay, can you hear me?"

"Crystal clear, like a fuzzy-static radio," I say brightly, "Where are we going?"

"Home," whoever's holding me in their arms moves me around a little, getting a better grip on me so I'm comfortable; I'm starting to feel sleepy again, whatever they gave me has some long-lasting side effects.

"Sounds good to me," I snuggle down and fall asleep yet again, safe and very warm.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Woo, okay, I promised I wouldn't leave ya hanging for long! I'm trying to post more than one chapter per day, but I've been pretty busy lately, but I'm working there. Fighting on! Aaaa, ok, and I also have to apologize for yesterday's chapter, I rushed to get it posted and didn't review it thoroughly and there were _so_ many mistakes. This is what happens when I rush to update and don't take my time properly =~=**

 **Anyhoot!**

 **Guest on Chpter 63- Happy belated birthday!...Updating this fic gives me a kinda a screwed up sense of the months, so I legitimately thought it was March and ur bday was coming up lol. Haha, anyway, who did you think Sabo was?**

 **S.A.- Thank you for all your great suggestions! I'll have to keep them in mind for future chapters, 'cause I have a lot of them mapped out, but...there's 365 days in a year and that's a lot to write about, so ideas are always welcome!**

 **FSG- Hancock is unquestionably the winner, 'cause Perona is gay aF and would be stone in an instant, sorry, I'm just stating facts¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

 **Alright, see you guys around!**

 **-jj**

 **(PS, Marco is winning the polls, Mihawk was in second for a while, but Shanks has reclaimed the second tier. Pls vote if you haven't, I will be posting whoever's story wins THIS COMING MONDAY probably)**

 **(PPS, Doflamingo has a grand total of one vote this entire time lmao what a fcuking loser)**


	68. Chapter 63: In Which There Are Waffles

**26 March/Saturday/1:00 am**

"Alright," I fold my hands on top of Quintin and lean forward intently, "Explain this to me like I'm an idiot because I think whatever they gave me is still in my system, I'm having trouble remembering what clouds are right now, and I probably won't remember any of this in a couple hours. So. Shoot."

My mind is clearer than what it was a while ago, and my thoughts are getting better, but there's some residual cloudiness still. Which is amazing that I can say that, seeing as I currently don't know what clouds are.

We're sitting around Quintin like we were, what feels like not too long ago, having a meal at one o'clock in the morning because a lot of us haven't eaten, and I only just woke up. And also, because Robin and Franky never got to have the date they apparently planned, so they're making do. I put a nice bunch of roses named Mo (short for Rosemore) on Quintin for them and Ace had fun lighting some candles. And then a couple phonebooks.

Anyway.

"Clouds are those big white puffy things in the sky, May," Ace offers.

" _Thank you,_ oh my god I couldn't think of what they were for the life of me."

" _Anyway_ , here's what we know happened at this point," Nami says, setting down her knife and fork, "Robin was missing yesterday, she had been since the night before. We tried to locate her, but we were unsuccessful, and then, Chopper arrived at the cafe to find that you weren't there either. Your crutches were still at the counter, which he thought was weird, so he called you and then everyone else when you didn't answer to see if you were with anyone."

"Yeah," Usopp takes over, "And then we really started to panic, because both of you were missing now. So, we don't hear anything for a while, and then suddenly everyone gets a text from you. It was kinda hard to see, but it was Robin and that new Galley-La worker-"

"Usopp," I cut him off, confused on something.

"What."

"Weren't you the one in my dream that I took a picture of?" I ask.

Luffy, who is to my left, pulls my phone out of my pocket for me and I put in the passcode for him; he pulls up my text which has a blurry photo and some pretty incoherent message at the bottom where the only clearly defined words are 'Lobster' and 'Goat'.

"That looks like Usopp to me," I say blankly.

"It's not," several people around the table chime in.

"So, we get that text from you," Franky picks up the retelling, "And we immediately tracked down Kaku-"

"Oooooooohhh! That's who that is!...Are you _sure_ it's not Usopp though?"

"Yes, May, shut up. We found Kaku and shook him down-"

"I kicked his sorry ass is what Franky means," interjects Zoro; I give him a silently enthusiastic thumbs up, which he returns proudly.

"-And he filled in some missing pieces of the puzzle for us," Franky carries on, "Robin had been detained and you had been taken in for...some other reason, he didn't exactly know, but we knew where you were both being held, so we set out immediately. However, we got a lot of calls from pretty much everyone you sent that message to, asking what the hell was going on. Of course, we told them the new developments, and just about all of them were ready to storm Enies Lobby."

"Which is basically what happened," says Ace, "It was fun, we should destroy buildings together more often, guys."

"And while we were there, we found out that Kaku, Kalifa, Lucci, and Blueno all work for the government. They've been under cover the whole time!"

"I kicked their asses!" Luffy asserts.

"We all did."

I raise my hand in the air, since I'm not supposed to talk right now.

"Yes, May?" Brook acknowledges.

"Why was Robin detained?"

"Why were you?" she asks me, dodging my question and turning it on me.

"They want my coffee."

"What."

"Cooofff-eeee," I enunciate, "Why was Robin detained?"

She shifts uncomfortably in her seat, dabbing at her mouth with a napkin.

"I don't want to involve you all and put you at risk," she says.

Immediately, my friends break out in exasperated groans.

"Oh my goooood," whines Luffy, "We don't _care_ about any danger, Robin. We need to know if _you're_ in danger so we can help you face it."

"Yeah, don't try to be the noble self-sacrificing idiot," Nami nods her head, "We get enough of that bullshit from Zoro."

She looks around at all of us, deciding what to do. Finally, she nods, coming to a resolve.

"I'm a refugee from Ohara," she says seriously, "I came to this country and city through means...questionable in their legality, and it looks like it caught up with me."

My friends and I all gasp.

"Oh my gosh!...What's Ohara?" I have to ask.

"May, pick up a map of the world sometime, geez," mumbles Zoro, "It's an island country that's been caught in a war the past couple decades, and it's-" He pauses to glance over at Robin cautiously, "...all but a desert by this point."

"Does this mean that they know you're from Ohara? That could put you in an extremely difficult spot, Robin-chan," Sanji says.

"I don't know. My papers say I'm from a small island in West Blue...but they're going to deport me regardless. They know for sure that I'm not living here legally."

" _What?!"_

"Yes, and that's why I," she takes a deep, steadying breath, "I didn't want you all to find me. Because I didn't want to have to say goodbye."

"No! Robin..."  
"You can't go!"

"You don't have to leave," Franky says confidently.

Robin looks taken aback, something that rarely happens.

"You don't have to say goodbye to us. Look, I was going to do this, but I didn't expect this to happen and complicate things, we'll have to make sure the paperwork is immaculate, but..." he pulls something out of his Hawaiian shirt's breast pocket and gets up to kneel by her chair.

"Did you guys know that Franky and Robin are seeing each other?!" I blurt out as everyone sits here, stunned at what's happening.

" _May, shut up!"_

* * *

 **6:00 am**

I wake up late today, to find that many of my friends are crashed in my home. Huh. There were not this many people here when I fell asleep. I have to wiggle my way out from the pile of people on top of me and crawl my way over to my crutches that are lying on the floor. I then slide my way down the steps and make it half way before I hear someone else thumping down them. Pausing in my slow descent, I lean back and see Ace looking down at me in amusement.

"Morning, sunshine," he says, "How are you?"

"Dandy?" I reply, confused, "Why are there so many people here? And why don't I remember most of yesterday?"

"You had a pretty exciting day," he says as he trots down a few steps below me and makes to pick me up; I reach out my arms to make it easier for him, "Chopper thinks you were given an anesthetic that they use for surgeries, so you were a bit loopy. Fucking hilarious to watch, actually."

"Did I have a surgery?" I ask, even more puzzled.

"No, you got kidnapped. Do you remember anything at all?"

"Uhhhhhmm...there was a goat."

We get to the kitchen and pass the doors to the front of the coffeeshop, where Robin and Franky are sitting at Quintin, talking lowly.

" _And Franky and Robin are getting married!"_ I scream suddenly, sitting up in Ace's arms so that he has to quickly adjust me in his hold so that we don't tip over.

"What the- May, keep it down," Franky shushes me.  
"We're not getting married," Robin says brusquely.

"Aw, why not?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out," huffs Franky.

"And I've already told you why," Robin crosses her arms right back at him.

Ace and I stare at them blankly.

"Is this a couple's fight?" we ask at the same time.

"Look, Robin, I don't know why you're so against this," Franky tells her, and it sounds like he's said this many times now, "It won't solve everything, but marriage can help move along the process for you to become a citizen, and get the government off your back."

"Because I don't want to marry for those reasons," she finally snaps, "I don't want to marry because of paperwork, I want to get married because I want to spend the rest of my life with someone! It's not supposed to be this cold sort of business deal."

Ace and I are still standing here. Franky looks shocked.

"I...I _do_ want us to spend the rest of our lives together," he says, bewildered, "Robin, I'm not asking you to marry me just so you can stay here in Grand Line. I was planning to propose to you last night, before you were detained. I had a fancy tie and everything."

Some pink burns in his cheeks and he glances off to the side.

"Maybe I panicked when I heard you were being deported and got ahead of myself and didn't ask you properly, but," He looks back at her, determination burning in his eyes, "I know I don't want to be with you because of legal issues, and I don't want you to think I'm taking pity on you. I want to be with you because I love you. So...will you have me?

Robin covers her eyes, but she's smiling, and it looks like that smile when Franky burst through the doors yesterday, or maybe it doesn't, I wasn't wearing my glasses then, so I can't tell but she finally straightens her shoulders and gives him a small smile.

"Go put on that fancy tie, and then ask me again."

"Super!"

 _"So Franky and Robin are getting married after all?!"  
_ "May! Be quiet, you'll wake everyone up!"  
"Drinks all around!"  
"It's six in the morning."  
"...Coffee all around!"

* * *

 **10:00 am**

I decided not to open today, since everyone seems intent on lazing around my cafe and because I decided I could use the break.

"Of course," Marco tells me as I fill up some people's coffee, "We were worried about you, y'know? Everyone wants to make sure that you and Robin-san are alright."

"Grr, I still can't believe those damn newbies were spies though," Paulie growls, knocking back his espresso like a shot, "I'm so mad! Well, at least I get to be there when Iceburg fires their asses today, that'll be really satisfying."

"Oh, Paulie, that reminds me," I say, "Is there any chance that you can bring them here afterwards? I have a few things I need to tell them. In fact, I need to say something to Blueno-san as well."

"I don't know what you could possibly have to do with those jerks, but I'll make sure they come over here later."

"Thanks."

"What are you planning, May?" Nami asks suspiciously.

"Nothing, nothing," I wave her off, "I just want to have some words. Now, who wants some waffles? We didn't get to have them yesterday."

* * *

 **3:00 pm**

"You guys look like poop," I say boorishly.

"Piss off," Hattori chirps.

Kalifa, Kaku, Lucci, and Blueno (and Hattori on Lucci's shoulder of course) stand before the counter, all crossed arms and stern brows and bandages as they stare me down and I try to look just as intimidating, even though Kalifa is the shortest of the group and I'm only eye level with her lips, and even though they all look sharp despite their casual clothes and meanwhile, I'm wearing a pastel blue gown with pink flowers on it that I may or may not have stolen from the Thousand Sunny Hospital during my stay there.

But that's besides the point.

"So, here's the deal," I cross my arms; to counter my move, Kalifa refolds her arms the other way and shifts her weight to pop her hip out. Crud, why is everyone so much better at doing that than I am? Can't I look like the cool one for once? "I know you guys are after Robin. Well, she's getting married, so you have to back off for a bit, but this is the thing: I want you to leave her completely alone from now on."

"Does she know that we got fired yesterday?" Kaku whispers to Kalifa.  
" _Shh."_

"This is how it works. You leave her alone, and I won't spread embarrassing photos I have of all of you all over Grand Line," I continue, "Because, I _do_ have them, and don't think for a second I won't use them."

Kalifa scoffs. Loudly.

"I'm always flawless, there's no way you have an embarrassing picture of me."

I pull out my phone, drag up my Blackmail folder, search through it until I find one and send it off. Kalifa's pocket buzzes and a slight twitch in her eyebrow is the only indication of her surprise. The other three look to her, and after a tense moment of staring back at them defiantly, she concedes and pulls out her phone. Her eyes widen and she quickly puts it back in her pocket.

"I'm not embarrassed of anything I do," Kaku hastily covers up.

"Haha, nice try, but I'd only believe that if you were Luffy," I send the next picture and his phone vibrates. He grudgingly pulls it out of his pocket and hides it just as fast as Kalifa did.

"You can't have anything on Blueno," he says, "Blueno doesn't _do_ anything."

I just smile and hit 'Send'.

The tall man closes his eyes and exhales deeply as he looks at his phone, coughs delicately, then puts it back.

"You must be joking," Kalifa says, stunned, "Well, there is _no_ conceivable way that you could have anything on Lucci. We're all expendable, but Lucci is untouchable. As long as you don't have a picture of him, you can do whatever you want with our pictures."

" _Kalifa, I wouldn't say that to her,"_ Blueno murmurs, a hint of panic in his low voice.  
" _Shut up, I'm obviously bluffing."_

I send the last picture and everyone turns to Lucci. Slowly, he takes out his phone and stares down at the photo I just sent to him. He takes his time putting it back in his breast pocket and looks up to lock cold and calculating yet fierce eyes with me. Kalifa looks smugly at me, because obviously he doesn't seem concerned about my blackmail.

"Alright. We will drop Nico Robin's case," he says coolly.

"What?!" the three yell is shock, while I shout as well.

" _You can talk?!"_

"Lucci, this can't be true, she can't possibly have an embarrassing picture of you," Kaku demands of the silent man, "It's unthinkable!"

"It's cool, I blackmail all my friends," I say chipperly, having recovered from the shock of discovering that Lucci's not in fact mute.

" _We,_ " snarls Kalifa, "Are not your friends."

"Yeah. You are," I shrug, "Now, if you go to Galley-La and ask for you job's back, Iceburg-san would probably take you. I think you guys fit in really well there. And Blueno, your always welcome to come over for some coffee."

"You are a strange person, Lily E. May," he tell me.

I just shrug again and shoo them away with a smile.

* * *

 **7:00 pm**

"What the hell are _these_ assholes doing here?"

Are Paulie's first words when he, Iceburg, Franky, and a couple other of my friends step inside my cafe, here for dinner.

"Hey, so, Paulie, don't freak out, but we're cool now," I say, serving some more coffee and waffles to the four former government workers.

"No, we are so not ' _cool'_ now!"

"Hey, it's bird-guy!" laughs Luffy, bounding forward and taking the stool next to Lucci, "Sorry for kicking your sorry ass yesterday, but can you make your bird speak again? He's so cool!"

"Lucci lost with dignity," Hattori ruffles his feathers irritably.

"Nah, I saw it, my man, you were out cold on the floor," Ace slaps his shoulder on his way to take the seat next to Luffy, Sabo following, "You did put up a good fight though, so I guess you can be proud of that."

"What's for dinner, May?" Usopp asks as he butts Kaku out of his seat and takes it.

"I was thinking chicken and waffles. I'm sad that we didn't get to celebrate Waffle Day yesterday," I tell him as Nami grabs Kaku before he tries smack Usopp from behind and sits down at Quintin with him.

"Are we just going to ignore the fact that these people attacked us and are probably going to stab us in the back again?" Paulie presses.

"Water under the bridge," says Iceburg nonchalantly as he also takes a seat at Quintin and starts up a conversation with Nami and Kaku.

"Not you too!"

"Paulie, just enjoy the moment. There's no use fussing over it when it's all said and done."

There's more arguing throughout our dinner, but it's no different from the usual bickering that goes on as we sit around Quintin and enjoy the waffles we didn't get to yesterday. It's nice and warm, and I'm glad that we are able to put the last two days behind us and just sit down and take pleasure in each other's company.

"Oh! I forgot to ask you guys, but do you want to sign Hufa Weituo Zuntian Pusa? He could use some more signatures."

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! OK, I'm sorry this is a bit late, and I promise I'm getting to reviews just... v slowly =^= It's looking like at this point, Marco's story will be the one to go up, so I am getting the first couple of chapters ready for release either Sun/Mon (depends on how impatient I am and you guys are :D) Tbh, I'm kinda glad Marco won, b/c I love the OC from that story and I can't wait to share them w/ you guys ~u~**

 **Okay, that's all for now. Thanks for reading, and stick around!**

 **-jj**


	69. Chapter 64: In Which There Is A Hot Tub

**28 March/Monday/7:00 am**

' _Who has a hot tub?'_

The first thing I do when I make it down to the kitchen this morning and take a look at the calendar is send out that message to all my friends and make myself some tea while I wait for answers. Shanks is the first to reply.

' _I do!'  
_ _'Cool. Party at Shanks' place tonight everyone.'  
_ _'I'll be there!'  
_ _'Wait, since when do you get to decide when I host parties?'  
_ _'Since you help yourself to my booze and don't pay for your meals half the time during business hours.'  
_ _'Ah, touché. Well, I'm always up for a good party!'_

I set down my phone with a contented puff and glance out the window: it's a beautifully clear morning. All kinds of birds are chirping outside and fluttering in the warm morning sun, and the trees lining the pavement look fuller and greener than usual and there's a general feeling of freshness to the air.

Wait.

I turn back to the calendar and look at what else is scribbled on today's date besides National Hot Tub Day.

 _'First Day of Spring',_ written in Nami's neat handwriting.

"Ahhh! This means I can finally do my spring cleaning for real!"

* * *

 **11:10 am**

"Good morning!"

I look under my arm as I stand on top of a chair to dust the shelf behind the counter when the bell rings and to see Sandersonia and Marigold stepping inside.

Luffy, Ace, and Sabo came in for breakfast today, and Robin and Franky followed very closely behind. We had a nice breakfast while Ace, Sabo, and Franky talked about plans for the wedding, like what tie Franky's going to wear, what flowers they're using, what the colors will be and whatnot.

"Wow, I never realized how much goes into this kinda stuff," Ace said, looking at the giant stack of papers Franky pulled out and smacked onto the table to go further into the details of their plans.

"It's exciting, isn't it?" Franky answered, a wide and happy grin on his face, "We've been thinking about a Spring wedding. Now, look at these colors and tell me what you think. I thought lavender and pale teal would be nice, but I'm afraid they'll clash together if they don't have something to balance them out."

Robin, Luffy, and I weren't really interested in hearing about the plans, Robin because she has heard it before and Luffy and I because we were more interested in seeing the final result, so we talked about other things and marveled over her ring instead.

"It has mine and his birthstones on it," she showed us the simple yet elegant ring that holds two gems, and amethyst and an aquamarine nestled next to each other, "We agreed that diamonds are a bit overrated; and besides, I like this idea more. He'll be getting a matching wedding band."

"How pretty!" said Luffy, grabbing her hand and holding it close to his face to get a better look at it and she smiled softly.

Since they left, I've been cleaning the cafe with an unrivaled enthusiasm, because I always look forward to spring cleaning. It's a great opportunity to make everything fresh and squeaky, sparkling clean, and it just...it's invigorating, you know? But now, I step down from my chair, set the feather duster down, and smile warmly at the sisters.

"Morning!" I call cheerily to them, "What brings you ladies here on a Monday? Not that you're not welcome, would you like some coffee?"

"Coffee would be alright," Marigold say, "But we're mainly here on business."

They take a seat at the counter as I pour fill some cups of coffee for all of us.

"Hahaha, these look familiar," notes Sandersonia, nodding to the flower pots that stand besides Sunny next to the register today.

"Oh yes, I like them very much!" I fawn over the lovely flowers the sisters gave me for White Day respectively, a bright bunch of sandersonia and marigolds; off to the side, Sandersonia also presented me with one of the bikinis that I wore for the photoshoot, saying that her little sister was too embarrassed to give it to me directly, but that they both wanted me to have it, "Sonja-chan is so fun and playful, compared to Goldie-tan, the more serious one but she still has a shy side. But that's besides the point right now, I suppose: what's this business?"

"Since it's Spring, we're releasing a new magazine with some more of your pictures to promote the swimsuit line again," the older sisters informs me, "We'll be doing the same thing around Summer with the new line once you're leg is healed."

"We just wanted to let you know ahead of time, and give you you're payment for this months profits," Marigold says, placing a stack of Beri on the counter top, "Nami-san told us that you operate mainly on a cash-basis, so here is the amount in full."

"Whoa my god."

I stare in awe at the tall stack before me; Nami gave me another cut a little while after that first one, so I was expecting something big, but not too much bigger since she was selling the magazines at ridiculously inflated prices. But this...

I grab the sisters' hands excitedly.

"I'll have enough for rent and then some left over this month! That never happens!"

Sandersonia laughs and Marigold just looks surprised at that; they stay a bit longer to visit and chat, and it's very nice and refreshing. I think this Spring will be a good one if this invigorating feeling sticks around!

* * *

 **3:00 pm**

"Whew! This is a good start!"

I stand proudly in the kitchen door and satisfactorily wipe my forehead of sweat that I worked up. I managed to give the front of the cafe a thoroughly good, deep clean: from dusting every nook and cranny, to de-spiderweb-fying all the feathery cobwebs that have been collecting, to sweeping and mopping the cracked, broken, and repaired tiles of the floor (which was very difficult with one working leg, I will tell you what), and it has a sort of rejuvenating glow to it all that's very lovely-lovely.

But, since I've made some very good progress, I think it's time to call it a day and save the rest of my home, like the kitchen and upstairs, for another day. Besides, I still have a cake to make, because, not only is it National Hot Tub Day, but it's Black Forest Cake Day as well! I decided to bring one to the party tonight, and maybe a couple smaller ones since it's sure to be a big turnout.

Whistling incredibly badly even to my ears, I roll down the sleeves of my sweater that I pushed up for cleaning and make for the kitchen, in an extraordinarily fair mood, since tonight I'll get to see a lot of people, and tomorrow, Luffy promised to help me in my quest of Spring Cleaning. I'm sure it'll be fun with another person.

* * *

 **7:30 pm**

When me and my three favorite brothers arrive (Ace having picked me and the Black Forest cakes up and driving us all to Shanks' gigantic house, comparable in size to even Whitebeard's) the party is in full swing, as is to be expected. I've only been here a few times, but I've never seen all of it, so I was surprised to walk into the back and find a pool and hot tub that both almost certainly could be found in water parks.

Luffy whoops in delight and immediately takes a running leap into the water, splashing many unfortunate people in it, and getting the clothes he wore above his swim trunks that he didn't bother to remove soaking wet.

"May, are you going in the water yet?" Ace asks, taking his more leisurely time to remove his shirt (he's actually wearing one!).

"No, I think I'll say hi to people first and then I'll have to put on this cover," I sigh, as I strip my pants off so that I'm just down to my suit—the one from Amazon Lily—and a cardigan, and throw them and my shoes and toss them thoughtlessly onto a chair.

"Take it easy," Sabo tells me as Ace follows his younger brother's lead and cannonballs into the pool; more people yell at him for causing a ruckus, "It's very slick with all the water on the ground, and you don't want your crutches to slip."

"Thanks," I smile at him before he too wiggles out of his clothes and dives in, causing even more of an uproar.

* * *

 **9:00 pm**

Well, I guess there's no avoiding it. It is very tacky, but I have to because I would like to get into the water.

Sighing, I take off my cardigan, deposit it with the rest of my clothes, and make my way over to the hot tub which people have been enjoying tonight. Red is by the poolside, wearing really, _really_ bright yellow spotted trunks and arguing with Zoro about whether or not he should come in. He turns to me and for a moment, it looks like he's turned to a statue.

"What the fuck are you wearing?!"

Kidd doesn't have his bionic arm on him, much like Shanks, in order to keep it from getting wet—his left arm ends in a badly scarred stump, but everybody here doesn't mind and hardly seems to notice it. There was one awkward moment when someone tossed him a beer and he didn't catch it; it sailed past him where it shattered on the ground, since I think he's naturally left-handed and isn't used to not having his amazing electromechanical one. But, Shanks just laughed it off and handed him another one, smacking his shoulder good-naturedly while he was at it.

"It's a cast cover, OK?" I sigh again, setting my crutches down and straightening back up again, "Torao's gonna kill me if I get Skanda wet and then Kureha will surely curse me back from the dead to kill me deader, I'm not risking anything."

"No, I know what that is," he says angrily, "I'm talking about your swimsuit. It's just a bunch of strings!"

"An amazingly supportive bunch of strings," I correct him, "It's from Amazon Lily, as a White Day gift. It's wonderful, don't you think?"

He seems to be having some difficulty looking at me right now, I wonder what his problem is? I try to poke his cheek, but he's a lot taller than me (which I find highly offensive, because I'm not _that_ short), so I have to settle for poking his chin. However, something stops our conversation short.

 _Thump! thump! thump! thump!_

 _"Huk-AA!"_

 _-SPLASH-_

I resurface, spluttering up water and clutching my nose in pain because it slammed into something very hard. Having just tackled me and Red into the water, Luffy is right behind me, giggling hysterically as he wraps his arms around my shoulders.

"What kind of noise was _that_?" he laughs.

"An 'I'm-being-ambushed-by-a-wild-monkey' noise," I huff, but let him latch onto me; no matter how shallow it is, Luffy can't keep his head above water. Even if he's touching the bottom. It's strange, "Owww, my nose. What is your chest made of, Kidd? I felt like I collided with a brick wall just now."

"Ah, finally joined us, May?" Nami asks, floating by leisurely; Kidd tries to strangle Luffy for the stunt he just pulled.

"Apparently."

Ahhhh, the water feels so nice and soothing. I sink lower into it as Luffy latches onto Nami and hides behind her to get away from the angry Red, and Nami tries to distract by pushing him to buy some of the Amazon Lily magazines. For a ridiculous price, of course.

All in all, I think it's an alright way to end the day, relaxing and unwinding in the water, taking part in the occasional water war that breaks out, and enjoying cake with my friends. It's a very promising start to Spring.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Alright, I'm sorry for the break, I had a major writing block and it was a bit of a struggle to write this chapter, and I was hoping to have more ready for you guys, but I felt I needed to update this to get out of the block =~= Anyway, the polls are now closed, so if you want to see the final results before I take it down in a couple hours, you can pop over to my profile :D It was a good run, and thanks to everyone who voted! My new story is up so if you'd like to read it, I'd be very happy (~^0^)~**

 **Gotta go answer some reviews now. Thanks for reading!**

 **-jj**


	70. Christmas Special

**Author's Corner: Hey** **-a! ...Yeah. I know. So, for those of you who don't follow my other story A Little Birdy or my tumblr, you will not have seen this message already. The short explanation for my absence is that I've been too busy with not enough motivation to write my stories recently. I won't go into detail, but yeah. I am sorry for taking so long away from writing, guys, I really am. As of right now, CotC will be put on hold because it is such a massive undertaking that I simply cannot commit to :c I wanted to update for the holidays because you guys really deserved it but please expect it to be put off until next year. Other than that, I hope to continue to work on my other stories and hopefully get a few posted. You can find me over at jazzinjuke on tumblr if you want to have a chat or get updates from me!**

 **As always, thank you so so so much for reading and supporting me, and I hope you'll stick around! I really cannot thank you guys enough and I sincerely hope you all have a happy holiday and a wonderful new year**

 **-jj**

* * *

 **24 December/Thursday/3:00 pm**

 _One Year Ago_

"Yes, have those, check. Check-oh no! I forgot—oh, no there they are, nevermind, yes, good, good, yes, annnnnd...yes! Everything is ready!"

I tick off everything on my list as I walk down the set up assembled on my counter to double check that I have everything. I've spent the past two weeks preparing for Oyaji's Christmas party, which is absolutely the biggest celebration of the year, only rivaled by Shanks' New Year's Party. I must've made thousands of cookies: dozens of sugar cookies in different forms, shortbread shaped into adorable little hedgehogs dipped in chocolate and sprinkles, peppermint bark, Pfefferkuchen, and hundreds of gingerbread cookies decorated off with royal icing which my friends helped with. Luffy's was sort of a mess, and Usopp's was beautifully intricate, but they're all wonderful and we had a lot of fun making them.

"Ack! But I forgot to wrap up my present for the exchange!"

Just as I'm about to start freaking out that I forgot this one thing _how could I have forgotten, the gift exchange is the most important part of the party_ —Ace puts his hand firmly on my shoulder.

"May. Chill," he commands as he pulls one of the cardboard boxes that I keep under the counter for cakes for cakes, puts my gift in it, and wraps it up in some spare ribbon that was lying on the counter that's littered with bits of ribbon, wrapping paper, and random pieces of tape, "There, perfect."

I take a deep breath and put my hand on top of the box. I let it out and smile.

"Thank you, you're a life-saver."

To say I've been a bit stressed leading up to this day is a bit of an understatement. The holidays are fun, but they can get extremely hectic, and sometimes it's the little things that can get to me. Ace returns my smile.

"What I'm here for," he says and lifts his hat slightly, "You did really well this year, we even have time before the party starts! Want to take a walk and see the city? I hear Kyuka District is all decked out with lights."

"That sounds lovely," I tell him, grabbing a little piece of paper and writing a note for Franky, who will be picking up the cookies and driving them to Pops' home for me, "Grab me a coat from the rack?"

"Sure thing," Ace hops the counter and picks up his long black coat and mine, as well as two scarves that I think some of my customers left behind as I grab my keys and turn off the lights in the kitchen, "Man, I'm looking forward to this year's party! Hopefully we won't have another partridge incident."

I shudder as I join him by the door.

"Don't jinx it. We don't need a partridge accident this year."

We step outside. I immediately slip on ice and fall flat on my face.

* * *

 **5:00 pm**

Since it's Winter in Grand Line right now, the sun set a while ago, leaving the city streets lit by the streetlamps and cheery Christmas lights. It certainly is a sight to see! Especially Kyuka District which is practically glowing.

There's not too many people out on the icy streets, although there is a caroling duet of a woman with a maroon afro and a man with luxurious blond curls on the corner. Besides them, I can see two other people walking down the street, two very tall men, the one wearing a-quite honestly-ridiculous coat of feathers falling nearly every other step on several unfortunate patches of ice.

"Cora-san, please," we can hear the guy's companion sigh in exasperation as we walk past.

"It's not my fault, Law! This ice is out to get me!"

I giggle a bit, because I know the feeling: Ace and I had to link arms because my feet seem determined to step on every ice patch in the city. A little white dog with a bag of treats in its mouth trots by, and a couple cars trundle past on the ice-slicked streets, as well as a girl riding on a large duck. Huh. That's something you don't see every day, even in Grand Line.

"I can hardly believe it's been nearly two years since I moved here," I speculate aloud as a gentle dusting of snow starts to pour out of the sky. I don't know what it is, but Christmastime is a very nostalgic season. It must be walking around and seeing all the lights that has put me in a reminiscent mood.

"And since me and Lu met you," adds Ace.

"And since then my life has known no peace," I laugh, before I stop dead in my tracks, "Did I remember to turn the stove off? I think I did. It's fine."

"Really?" Ace shoots me a skeptical look.

"It's probably fine," I amend with a wave of my hand, "Anyway, we should head over to Oyaji's."

"If you're sure."

We change direction to begin the walk to Whitebeard's home. I promptly fall on a patch of ice and bring Ace down with me so that we land in a laughing, albeit painful, pile.

* * *

 **7:00 pm**

The party is in full swing before it's officially supposed to start at 8 o'clock. Whitebeard's home is full of people wearing all sorts of ugly Christmas sweaters, as is tradition. I went one step further and paired my ancient knitted cardigan with E's most hideous earrings. She had a fondness for shopping at second hand stores, and these particular earrings I'm fairly certain are older than me, with purple crystal hearts hanging from rainbow beads and bright red tassels to end them off.

There's mistletoe hung over every doorway, and the smooches have been getting a little tipsy the more everyone's drinking. Shanks and Makino seem to be walking through every door they can or 'running into' each other. They're really not subtle. The long table is packed with my cookies, Christmas cake, Stolen cake, plum pudding, mince pie, and all kinds of savory dishes, as well as a few crackers, which people have been popping, and the enormous Christmas tree glittering with ornaments and lights stands next to the staircase, standing over two floors tall.

Overall, it's magnificent and the perfect vision of Christmas.

I nod cheerfully to the barkeep Shanks (who was in charge of the alcohol) brought with him, who has hair that looks like bull horns, as I pour myself some hot holiday cider and continue making my way around to greet people. It's a bit difficult, because there's so many of them, but I've made it my mission! I pass under a doorway just as Usopp is—it is Usopp isn't it? His nose is looking squarer than usual—I throw my arm around him.

"Usopp! Happy Holidays!" I peck his cheek and move on.

"Wait, I think you have me confused with someone-," I don't hear what else Usopp has to say as a loud cracker _pops!_ next to me and excited laughter breaks out.

I finally, finally, make out Oyaji in the throng of partyers, who is, like last year, dressed up like St. Nick, (his moustache sticking out from under the fake white beard he has on his face) and surround like usual by the nurses who are wearing Mrs. Claus outfits. I run into Cherie before I can get to Pops.

"Oh, May-chan, nice to see you here," she says, then grabs my drink quickly, "Can I have this? Thanks."

"Having fun?" I grin.

"A couple more of these and I will," she grouses, "Oyaji's being an absolute nightmare. Nothing but sweets and alcohol, that man is going to drive himself to an early death. I've been trying for _years_ to impress a healthy diet on him, but _nooooooo_..."

I think she's already had a couple of ciders, but I smile and let her have mine. Patting her cheek, I leave her to mumble about good health and idiots that don't take care of themselves. I still have a lot of people to greet! I pass Nami (wearing a large red sweater with a Christmas tree patch on the front), Robin (who has a sweater with kittens in Santa hats), and Franky (who wears a keyhole sweater with a knitted Christmas light pattern). I laugh and take pictures.

* * *

 **9:35 pm**

"Alright, alright, settle down you brats!" Whitebeard's voice booms though the rooms, "It's time for the gift exchange!"

"Woo! Gift exchange!"

Everyone immediately tries to grab any available seat, and the couch I'm sitting on with Luffy and Chopper suddenly becomes quite squished as more people than it was made to hold squeeze onto it. I grin as I finish wrapping a tinsel garland around Luffy's strawhat and Ace comes over and plops down on his brother's lap.

"Hopefully it's not like last year," he remarks.

"Yeah, last year was crazy!" Luffy laughs.

"What happened last year?" asks Chopper, who wasn't there.

"We don't talk about the partridge incident," I say seriously.

"The...partridge incident?"

Once people have found a seat somewhere in the room ("seat" being a very liberally used term here), Pops clears his throat.

"Right then. Most of you should know how this goes," he announces, "But for any newcomers, you pick a number and then we go in order to choose a gift from the pile."

He jabs a thumb at the massive mountain of brightly wrapped gifts that everyone has brought, towering next to the Christmas tree.

"You didn't bring a gift, you don't get to participate. Now, you can either steal a gift when it's your turn or not. Each gift can only be stolen twice, and once everyone's chosen a gift and all the presents have been revealed, we will have another round for stealing. You can decide to steal or keep your present, where the person who stole will exchange their gift for the person their stealing from, unless you have the person you're stealing from's present, because no one can end up with the present they got."

"This seems unusually complicated," Chopper murmurs to the side.

"Just you wait," grins Ace.

"And," Whitebeard carries on, "If you are getting your gift stolen, you have the option to challenge the thief. You will decide in mortal combat who will get to keep which gift. Give it your all!"

Everyone cheers—Chopper looks incredulous and terrified—and a hat containing slips of paper with numbers scrawled on them is passed around.

"This can't be safe!" he frets.

"It's probably not!" I laugh, "Last year was a fiasco. I think there were a few broken bones. But it's all good, don't worry about it!"

"I'm worrying about it!"

* * *

 **11:00 pm**

"I would like that present, Marco-san."

"Isn't that such a shame."

"I'm asking, _nicely_ , Marco-san."

"Come and get it, Red Hair."

Marco and Shanks meet each other head on in vicious battle. This year's gift exchange has been quite brutal: there's a lot of good and desirable gifts this time and I've had to defend my own gift of a moka pot that comes with very expensive coffee beans more than a few times. Fortunately, Oyaji is old-fashioned and keeps a stack oh phonebooks in an age where they are not used anymore and I've come out victorious each time. Also, everyone has had a lot to drink at this point, so the 'fighting' has mostly come down to flapping their arms at each other to slap each other like three year olds and seeing whoever falls over first. It's been pretty hilarious to watch actually.

Ace absently puts a red ribbon bow on my head from the present he got, to match the gold ribbon I put earlier on his head from my gift, as we watch Marco and Shanks throw down. Oh, there goes one of the windows, Marco just got thrown out of it. Brook sits at the grand piano in the corner, providing lively music to accompany the fight as we laugh and cheer.

"Don't let that red-haired brat beat you, my son!" Whitebeard calls as Marco climbs back through the broken glass, wiping his bleeding cheek.

"Don't plan to, Oyaji."

"This is so dangerous," says Chopper as the two men go back to exchanging blows.

"At least it's better than the partridge incident."

"OK, really, what happened with the partridges?"

"Someone tried to recreate the 12 Days of Christmas for their gift last year," Ace explains, "It didn't go well. When whoever got the gift opened, out burst a lot of confused people, eight cows, seven swans, six geese, four blackbirds, three hens, two doves-,"

"And a partridge in a pear tree~," I sing, before shivering, "Those geese and swans were vicious."

"What the hell is wrong with you people," Chopper mutters under his breath.

"Absolutely everything!" Luffy beams, as Shanks' head gets smashed through the coffee table in front of us and Chopper shrieks.

"Can I get refills for anyone's drinks?" I offer as I stand. And immediately fall over. Hoo boy, I'm a bit drunker than I thought. Oh well!

"Nice one, May," Ace sniggers.

"Oh, bah-humbug to you."

* * *

 **25 December/Friday/12:00 am**

The party is still going strong, even though some of the more hammered people have nodded off to sleep in the corners of the room or passed out on the stairs. Brook is taking Christmas song requests and a little caroling group has formed around the piano, expect they're replacing many of the lyrics with rude words. A group of mummers has been putting on a performance about a fantastical world of pirates and a wondrous treasure that everyone seeks, but it got too convoluted and lengthy after a while for my drunk mind to follow along.

I step through a doorway, but my foot catches on the rug and sends me reeling forward. However, someone catches me. Ace.

"Hey there," he smiles down at me, "Fancy meeting you here. Guess we have to kiss?"

He points up at the green leaves and white berries hanging over us. I laugh and wrap my arms around his neck for more support since he has me in a sort of dip still. He leans in closer, but the watch on my wrist catches my eye.

I shove my hand over Ace's mouth, and yell out.

"It's midnight! It's Christmas Day, everyone!"

Those who are awake break out into applause and hoots, and several people are kissing while Brook goes into a grand arrangement of 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas'. And then, I grab Ace's face and pull him down into a surprised kiss , and neither of us can stop laughing.

"Merry Christmas!"


	71. Chapter 65: In Which There Are Birds

**Author's Corner: Heya! _Thought you'd never see me again did you?!_ Ok, yeah, I'm rly rly sorry. Again, I have no excuses for this (well, yeah I do actually, but not for letting this story go for how long I have), but here's how things are going to go: I'm going to try an update a few more times before March comes around this year and hopefully HOPEFULLY I can go back to posting every day or every other day or so. This story was meant to follow last year's dates had I stuck with it properly, so we will still be going by that, sorry if it gets confusing. You can thank Archaeological (tackyink) exclusively for this chapter because she motivated me to get off my butt and write it. Thank you as always for reading, thank you ESPECIALLY to all of you who have left a kind comment, and I sincerely hope you stick around!**

 **-jj**

* * *

 **30 March/Wednesday/6:58 am**

I hum quietly to myself as I hang some bird feeders outside the shop's window, Chou Chou trailing dutifully behind me.

Since it's Spring, the weather is guaranteed to remain nice and fair and clear, so I've moved some of the smaller tables outside for anyone that wants to enjoy the weather while it's good. And stable. And doesn't change every five minutes. Ahhh, but that's living in Grand Line for ya!

As soon as I pour the seed into the feeders, a small galactic fleet of birds swarm over them (and me). Several small beaks tug gently but insistently at my hair and I can't help but beam. One bird lands on Chou Chou's head and peeps curiously at him. This is what Spring is all about!

I stay by the feeders a moment longer, taking in the morning sun and fresh air while the birds peck and twitter around and some try to make a nest out of my ponytail. Someone steps up to the café (although I can't quite make them out with all the fluttering wings around me), and they scare the birds away momentarily, long enough for me to see that it's Dracule-san. However, not a second later, the birds are back, perching on every surface available, which just so happens to include Mihawk-san.

"Good morning!" I say brightly.

He nods in response and tries to brush the cheeping birds off his shoulders and hat (key word: tries— they settle back on their perches instantaneously), then holds the door open for me so I can limp my way inside.

"Thanks!" Some of the birds resting on us take flight once they're inside the coffeeshop and finding new roosts on the tables, counter, ceiling fan, or shelves. "So, How have you been? I feel like we haven't seen each other recently."

"I saw you two days ago," he says, shaking his hat clear of the rest of the feathered creatures resting there while I get the coffee going, and then using his hat to shoo away the rest from his person.

"Did you really?" I ask, cutting the tie on the stack of News Coos on the counter so he can take one.

"At Akagami's place?" he raises an eyebrow at me. I'm not sure if it's because he thought I should have known that or if it's because the birds have succeded in making a sizable nest out of my hair.

"Huh, I didn't know you were there. Anyway, it's been pretty eventful these past couple of days for me!"

"I've been well," he says shortly, prepared to take his coffee and take up his roost at Nester, where a few other birdies have congregated. Whoa, Nester was extremely well-named.

However, the bell rings just as he is turning around, usual black coffee in hand, and in walks Zoro, yawning tiredly.

"Morning," he mumbles, then stops short when he sees Mihawk-san.

"You! What are you doing here!?"

I look at my friend in confusion.

"Zoro? Do you know Dracule-san? He's been here a couple times at the same time as you," I tell him, "So, you two have met before?"

"Yes," Mihawk says at the same time Zoro says a hasty, "No!"

"Zoro! What's the hold up?" a shrill voice asks, and Perona steps out from behind him—I didn't notice her there before—her gaze stops on the man at the counter and she squeals, "Uncle!"

"Oh god no," I hear Mihawk whisper under his breath as the girl skips towards him and locks him in an inescapable hug that looks like it physically (or maybe emotionally) hurts him, judging by his expression. And then I realize something.

"Wait: uncle?" I question, "Perona-chan, Mihawk is the grumpy oji-san you told me about?"

"Obviously!" she says, "Who else would have such a not-cute, gumpy-wumpy face all the time?"

I think about the very pink, very sparkly cake I made a while ago, then look at Mihawk's face which is even more stormy the longer Perona hangs off of his neck and try to imagine him eating that very pink, _very_ sparkly cake. These two images seem to be so much at contrast that my mind cannot put them together and feels like it's shuddering away from the very idea. I shake my head to clear the conflicting image and say:

"I didn't know you two were related!"

"We're not," she explains, "He was our foster dad for a while."

Holy Yagara Bull, you learn something new everyday. Wait—

"Our?"

"Yeah! Mine and Zo-Zo's!" Despite Zoro's attempt to grab her and cover her mouth, she deftly avoids him and bubbles on, "Zo-Zo's my adorable little brother. It was a lot of fun to play dress up and makeover with him when we were younger!"

I turn on Zoro who has given up on trying to catch Perona and fix him with a furious glare.

"Zorooooo! Why am I only learning this now?!"

"Shut up! I don't know any of you," he says defensively; okay, and I'm so mad I'm finding out that he had another family, people that I know no less!

"But hold on a tic, _little_ brother?" I ask, "Perona, aren't you a teenager?"

"I'm 25."

" _What?!"_

* * *

 **11:00 am**

After the family of three, _which apparently I didn't get to know about until today, but **whatever**_ , the café has been pretty quiet except for an occasional customer or friend popping in. Like Robin! She came in earlier to let me know that we're going wedding dress shopping next week; since she and Franky have planned to have their wedding before Spring ends, there's a lot to get done in a short amount of time.

"We already have about half of it planned and set up," she told me as she rubbed the head of a robin bird that took a shine to her as she had her coffee, "It's amazing how many...connections we have between the two of us that can get things done quickly."

Now, my three favorite brothers are having brunch with me, sitting at the counter and competing with some of the birds that have stuck around in the shop to eat the food on their plates. The brothers may be very talented and quick individuals, but the little cheepers have numbers on their side: whenever one of the boys tries to shoo away one bird, another will come to the other side of the plate and peck at the food there until they get shooed away. It's actually pretty flipping hilarious to watch.

"And so, you'll never believe that we pulled this off, May," Ace, who has mostly given up on keeping his meal out of hungry little beaks, laughs as he regales me on his and Thatch's latest prank, waving his hands animatedly through the air, "We took Marco's clothes from the locker rooms and left him this feathery monstrosity of a speedo that Thatch found _somewhere,_ who knows where—god, you need to see it for yourself, I'll just show you. We're going to die at some point in the near future, but it was soooooo worth it."

He hands over his phone and I get a good eyeful of the pictures of Marco, apparently just stepping out of a locker room with murder in his eyes and blue feathered speedo with what looks like a peacock over the crotchal-area, and then more pictures of him that are really blurry, as if the person taking them had been booking it for their life and also maybe definitely laughing their ass of. I burst out laughing and pass the phone over to Luffy and Sabo so they can look at it. We're all laughing so hard and so thoroughly unprepared for when the front door and surrounding wall is blasted in.

Being the only one facing the door, I alone see the oncoming force of destruction.

" _Code White_!" I scream in sheer and utter panic.

Ace and Luffy are out of their seats like rockets, but Sabo, bless his poor little heart, unknowingly looks around in bewilderment and is ultimately the brothers' downfall when they turn back to grab him and haul him out of his seat. That's when Garp descends upon them.

"I see my grandsons are as happy as ever to see me!" the old man laughs vigorously; Luffy tries to bite his arm to get out of his grandfather's grip.

"Garp-san?!" Sabo yells in shock as Luffy goes flying, predictably, through Quintin.

"Oho! There's a face I haven't seen in a while. Hope you're ready for some welcoming fists of love, boy!"

"Let's be reasonable here!" I yelp as I duck down to avoid Sabo, who crashes into the coffee machine and then the ground and gives out a winded moan, "Oi!" That thing didn't come cheap! Stop destroying my coffeeshop!"

The only answer I get is a faceful of Ace's tattooed back as he's thrown into me.

" _Oof!_ "

"Sorry, May," groans Ace.

"Wow, he hasn't changed at all," Sabo marvels as he helps me and Ace up, "I think he just knocked a couple of memories into me with that punch alone."

"You're telling me, bro."

Having temporary sanctuary behind the counter, Garp is left to go after Luffy who tried to take the chance to escape through the front door. None of us mind though: when Garp is involved, it's every unfortunate for themselves.

"Bwahaha, not so fast, squirt!" Garp snatches the teen by the scruff of the neck, "I have a real reason for gracing your lives with my presence today. You really caused a ruckus at Enies Lobby last week."

"What? Enastaende Lobotomisera? Never heard of it," Luffy says nervously, sweating profusely as he does when he lies. Or at least, tries to.

"Shut up, brat, I'm not here to arrest you, even though I know you all did it. I was in that massive ass group text May sent out and then you all replied to saying you were going to wreck shit."

"Whoa! Gramps, you know how to use text?!" Ace says, impressed in the most insulting way a person can be; Garp hurls one of Quintin's broken legs at his face and he goes down with a _thud!_

"Shut your damn mouth, pipsqueak, I'm hip with the kids' technology these days."

"Oh my _god_ , stop you sound so embarrassing," Luffy whines, earning him a sharp punch.

"I'm just here to let you know that since I'm covering for your asses, you squirts owe me," growls Garp, "Anyway, anyway, I'll cut the usual family meetings in half today. Luffy! I have some people that want to see you!"

Previously unseen, two figures jump out from behind Garp all ninja-like, aiming for Luffy. But, almost faster than I can blink, the two mysterious ninjas are lying at my papoose's feet: it's two boys, one pink-haired and the other blonde.

"Who the hell are they?" Luffy asks, decidedly unimpressed.

"Bwahaha, grazed them down like they were nothing!" Garp laughed, "These are my two apprentices, and they've told me they know you."

"Never seen 'em," Luffy says bluntly.

"What? Don't you remember me?" Blondie says self-importantly; there _is_ something familiar about him, but he's wearing sunglasses inside which automatically makes me not want to pay attention to him.

Luffy just stares blankly at him while I take a closer look at Pinky. Huh, he _does_ seem more familiar, and I feel like I've seen these two around the same time...

"Wait!" I cry as it comes to me, something about a young kid with pink hair, "Wait, wait, you've been here before...Stalker kid!"

I point at the kid who immediately starts stumbling over explanations and that only seals the deal. Chou Chou jumps up on the counter, takes one look at Blondie, and starts to growl. It hits me again.

"And Onion-san!" I point at the rude onion son who came into my shop a while ago, "Get out of here, Pinky, Blinky, and Clyde, you three have caused me enough trouble. You have the audacity to barge in here, destroy my property, and attack my friends. I should call the cops on you!"

"I am the cops!" Garp laughs, ignoring that his sentence is wildly grammatically incorrect.

I reach for a phonebook and wave it threateningly at him. He chuckles again and starts pulling his apprentices away.

"Well, that's all I wanted from today. You can put the repair costs on my tab, May-san! Have a good day and stay out of trouble, brats!"

He leaves with the boys in tow. A bit of glass that was still holding in the window falls and shatters on the ground. _Sigh._ And I _just_ cleaned those windows, too. A lot have birds are now shuffling their way into the café from the gaping hole in the front.

"I forgot how, er, _enthusiastic_ Garp-san could be," Sabo says as I lend him a hand to get up.

"It's ok, you can say it like it is," Luffy says.

"He's fucking mental," Ace concludes.

I bemoan the destruction of my coffeeshop.

"Quintinnnnnn."

* * *

 **4:30 pm**

"You missed a spot."

"Miss May, could you kindly shut the fuck up," Hattori chirps at me.

I'm sitting on Nester, surrounded by a couple of birds and breathing down Lucci's neck as he cleans the new window that the Galley-La guys have just replaced. Kaku, Lucci, and Kalifa all got jobs back after talking it out with Iceburg, although Kalifa didn't go back to her secretary job and is rather a shipbuilder as well now. We've all forgiven them for the whole little 'drug and kidnap' incident (although Paulie may hold a teensy tiny itty bitty little grudge) but it's fun to poke fun at them. After all, that's what friends are for!

I lean over to have a look at where Kaku is sweeping up the floor of excess dust and rubble Garp knocked loose with his flashy entrance.

"You missed a spot," I sing.

"May-san, I don't mean to be short, but if you keep making quips like that, I'm really going have to give you the high-hat," Kaku says with forced politeness; a chubby little sparrow lands on his nose.

I give him a long look.

"That sounds vaguely naughty," I say. I hear Kalifa mutter, "Thats's sexual harassment," from somewhere behind me.

"What?! No, absolutely not!" he says, looking deeply affronted, "I meant I'm going to have to be snippy with you in return."

"It's like talking to an alien," I comment to Paulie, who's working on fitting the new door in place, "Or Brook. Can you understand him at all?"

"Nah, not really," grunts Paulie, "I just tune him out most of the time, or try to think of everything he says as a euphemism. Most of the time it works."

"You people are quite rude," Kaku snubs at us, which I think in Kaku-speak is meant to be highly offensive.

"Ohhh!" I put a hand on my forward and flop dramatically over Nester, scattering a few birds in a flurry of feathers, "I think I'm feeling some lasting side effects of that drug that SOME PEOPLE forced on me. Whatever shall I do?"

"I thought we were past this," he sighs as Hattori lands on my stomach and nestles in, cooing quietly.

"Oi, people who back stab others and kidnap don't have the right to say that," snaps Paulie.

"Can people who gamble away their money and fall into substantial debt really criticize others?" Kalifa sniffs, pushing up her glasses.

"Can shameless women who go about flaunting their bodies talk?!" Paulie yells right back, to which I reply, "Hell yeah they can," and Kalifa says coolly, "That's sexual harassment."

I laugh as the Galley-La workers bicker in turns until the front of the shop is looking just as squeaky, shiny clean as it was before Hurricane Garp came blowing in, glad that they seem to be settling in. I wonder if things will be smoothed over enough that they'll get invited to the wedding? The more the merrier, as I always say!


	72. Chapter 66: In Which There Are Cows

**31 March/Thursday/8:00**

" _And I really love, I really loooove the things you do, Oh, you're my best friend~_ ," I sing into the wooden-spoon-microphone that I've been using to stir the eggs in the pan, " _Oh, you're my best friend, Oh, you make me live~_ Drum solo!"

Luffy, who is sitting on the counter with an amalgamation of pats and pans around him, twirls the spoons he's using as drumsticks, and goes crazy on the 'drum set'. Ace provides accompaniment on the 'cymbals' (two pot lids). The cacophonous solo ends and we belt out the final chorus all together. I can hear Nami providng back up from the front of the coffeeshop, and even Chou Chou joins in.

As the last note fades out and we break into peals of laughter at our terrible, terrible singing, the bell above the front door rings out brightly. I poke my head through the window and call to the two men stepping inside.

"Sorry, we're closed today!"

"Miss May?" the older-looking of the two men asks; he has puffy hair and round spectacles, and looks kinda familiar for some reason?

"Uh, yes?"

"Sorry to bother you today," he says, "We're here from the police station."

"I don't know anything!" I squeak immediately, and my mind is rapidly falling into panic mode _because Garp didn't keep his word and ratted out his own flesh and blood_ —I start frantically waving to Ace and Luffy behind my back to signal that they should get out of here.

The man raises an eyebrow.

"About your coffee?"

I stare blankly at him.

"Sorry?"

"We made an agreement that you would start providing coffee to the police offices around the city. We meant to follow up sooner, but we've been dealing with a bit of trouble for a few days."

I stand there for a moment, mouth hanging open and trying to process this.

"Just a sec," I say and walk out of the kitchen; Nami comes up to the counter curiously as well, interest piqued. "Er, sorry, but I have no idea who you are."

"I'm Sengoku and this is my associate, Kuzan. Do you really not remember anything?"

I continue staring at him, completely lost, and he takes this as enough of an answer.

"Ah, so you're the one Sengoku has been going on about," the other guy, Kuzan says; he looks about five seconds away from falling asleep, "I thought the coffee tasted familiar on that day."

"Who are you?" I ask, too confused about what the hell is going on to worry if I sound rude or not.

"Ara? You don't remember? Well, that's fine, I guess. I didn't remember what you looked like until just now either."

"Have we met before?" I'm getting more confounded by the moment.

"Maybe," he shrugs, which really doesn't help anyone here.

"Who cares about that?" Nami butts in, having enough of our pointless nonsense, "What's this about May being a coffee supplier?"

"Miss May and I reached a deal some time ago about selling her fabulous coffee to the Grand Line police and other associates, but I suppose she was—ah, out of commission at the time. And there was some chaos that day where she disappeared, which speaking of, I'm quite glad to see that you are unharmed."

"Er, thanks?"

"What was the price you settled on?" asks Nami shrewdly.

"10824 Beri," Sengoku says, "Do you take cash or check?"

I can see the Beri signs pop up in Nami's eyes like a cash register, and I think I can even hear the little ' _cha-ching!'_ Hooooo boy, this could quickly turn into quite a trip, now that money is involved.

"Cash, she'll take cash," she says quickly, all smiles.

"Forgive me, but who are you?" Sengoku asks of her.

"Don't mind me, I'm just the person who handles May's finances."

"Wonderful. Would it be too much to expect an order of beans ready for tomorrow?" he asks, pulling out a slip of paper that presumably has the needed amount of coffee beans on it and waving it a bit.

"Absolutely!" beams Nami.

"Uh, actually-," I start, but they've already moved on.

"Lovely doing business with you," Sengoku and Nami shake hands like old business partners while Kuzan looks on sleepily, and I stand there so confused, and then the two policemen take their leave. Nami turns to me, smiling.

"May! How did you manage the _director_ of the police to buy from you?! I'm so proud of you! And you're finally developing a sense for business and charging decent prices."

"I was drugged when it happened."

"Maybe we should do that to you more often then," she muses.

" _No._ Ace, let's get to Moda's, Nami is trying to drug me!" I call into the kitchen; Ace and his brother poke their heads out from behind the counter, mouths suspiciously full of what was probably our breakfast.

I sigh and grab my cardigan as Ace swallows forcefully, situates his hat onto his head, and walks out of the kitchens.

"I would _never_ ," Nami says, blowing us a kiss as we head to the door. I laugh a little and catch it, pressing the kiss to my cheek before blowing one back in kind.

"Oh, I'm sure. Thank you for your help like always! Please watch the place and make sure Luffy doesn't break anything?"

"You got it."

"Thanks~! See you later!"

* * *

 **12:15 pm**

Since he and Luffy ate my share of breakfast this morning, Ace stopped us by a tiny breakfast diner in Kyuka District on our way to Moda's so I could actually eat. It's a teeny tiny little place that could comfortably fit on a fishing boat, but it's those kinds of places that are usually the best. We got some eggs benedict, hash browns, and omlettes packed with things like ham, cheese, peppers, onions, mushrooms, and avocados, all dripping in hollandaise sauce to take to our young friend as well. And some little fruit cups because, y'know. We're 'healthy' here.

The three of us had a lovely brunch (or in Ace's case, a Second Breakfast) and were about to start on a spirited game of Spoons, but Moda's Mama came rushing in to let us know that the dwarf cows were calving. She and Papa-Moda had stayed home from work for this particular reason, since it's Spring and the cows were due.

The family of three is busy helping the cows make sure they give birth safely, with Ace giving a hand where needed since he has experience with these things, working at the zoo and all. I have elected to wait just a bit of a distance away because the whole thing is very slimy, and squishy, a bit bloody, and was making me feel quite a lot on this side of nauseous, but isn't the miracle called life like that in general? Ace, Moda, and her parents seem to be having a ball though and will call out excitedly with each newborn calf, so I'm happy for them.

"May! You're missing out on so much here!" Ace calls cheerfully.

"I'm good with that, thanks!" I reply, but give him a thumbs up to let him know I'm glad he's having fun. He returns the gesture with a bright beam I can see from over here.

Within an hour, there's over twenty wobbly calves tentatively standing for the first time, shaking while their mothers start to clean them. Ace would love to stay longer, but I really do need get back to my café, because apparently I have a lot of coffee beans to roast and prepare. So, he says a happily tearful goodbye to one to the calves that he's taken a particular shine to, we both bid Moda's family goodbye, and depart with all of the dairy products I need in tow.

"Ace, I know you can get emotional about these things, but please, I need you to focus on driving," I tell him as he runs a red light the tears of joy blurring his vision.

"I'm just so happy! Did you _see_ the babies, May?" he wails. I pat his back comfortingly and pray that we don't get into any accidents.

* * *

 **4:00 pm**

I stand at the counter with my air popper and buckets of green coffee beans next to me. Sabo, sitting at the counter while Nami is in the kitchen fixing herself a snack and Luffy and Ace are cooing over a nest of birds that have apparently set up shop on Nester, watches in disbelief.

"May-san, I don't want to assume, but I feel like there has to be an easier way to roast more beans at the same time," he comments.

"I usually don't have to do this much," I sigh, stopping the popper and pouring out the fresh batch to air them out and cool them down before pouring them into a container.

"Still, do you do this on a daily basis?"

"Yeah. I use to do it once every other day. But then Law started drinking coffee here," I sigh again, this time reminiscing about the good ol' days when I didn't have to produce so much coffee. But, I gained a friend, so it's a pretty fair exchange I think.

"Does he really drink that much?" Sabo laughs.

"Indeed," the man himself says, standing at Sabo's shoulder.

"Hey, Torao!"

"Coffee?" he says, in lieu of a greeting like a normal human being.

"Sorry, just ran out," I nod to Sabo's cup that he downs the last of with a sheepish smile.

Without a word, he strides to this side of the counter and starts trying to make coffee for himself. I drop what I'm doing and put one of my hands on his neck. He hisses like a cat that's been hit with a spray bottle and lurches away.

"No-no, no touching the coffee machine," I scold him.

"Fucking hell, your hands are freezing," he hisses back, pulling his hoodie over his head to bring back some warmth to his neck where my Popsicle Hands of Death have sapped the warmth.

"Yup!" I tell him cheerfully, wiggling my cold fingers at him, "Consider that a warning: next time you touch the machine, my hands go on your stomach."

He stares at me guardedly, trying to figure out how serious I am with that threat.

"You wouldn't really."

"Yes she really would!" Ace and Luffy call from Nester, and Law backs away from the coffee maker cautiously. And not a moment too soon, because at that moment, the door is exploding inwards for the second day in a row, and Ace and Luffy are both thrown into the machine from across the room.

Unlike yesterday, when it just escaped with a bit of denting, the coffee maker quite clearly broken under the combined weight of the brothers as I watch in shock. There's only one person that would have the guts to do this two days in a row. Oh no.

"Bwahaha! Slow as ever brats!"

God _damnit_ , we can't go _one_ day around here without some peace and quiet, can we? I sigh and pull out my electric kettle to pour myself some tea, resigning myself to the destruction that's going to happen. Hopefully he'll leave soon, but there's nothing I'm able to do until then.

"Garp-san!? What are you doing here?" Sabo yells in alarm with one leg up on the counter preparing to vault it and Ace and Luffy struggle to untangle themselves and get out the back door.

"Forgot something yesterday!" the crazy old man laughs, advancing menacingly, "Let's go, we have a family bonding evening ahead of us! Bo, you too, you're overdue for some of quality family time. I'm thinking Game Night!"

All three of them redouble their efforts to get the hell out of the café and get the hell out _now_ , but Garp is undoubtedly the most tenacious old man there can be, and I can only pray for them as he hauls them out of my destroyed coffeeshop.

"May!" cries Luffy, "Save us or something!"

"I expect you to pay me back for the damage, or at least send people to fix this!" I call to Garp's retreating back, with Ace and Sabo crushed in a chokehold with one arm and Luffy thrown over the other shoulde, "Galley-La's busy today!"

"Sure, sure," he laughs.

"Torao?! You're our friend?!" Ace tries.

"Do I know you?" asks the doctor, leaning passively against the counter.

"Noooo!" all three of the brother's wail dismally.

I slap my hands together and bow my head to them.

"I'll pray for you! Try not to die," is my final blessing to them before Garp is out the door and gone.

* * *

 **6:45 pm**

True to his word (surprisingly), Garp did send a few people from the police station to patch up the café. I am glad that he came through on that, but I'm in a bit of a mood because it turns out that the coffee machine was really broken rather than just dented like I had hoped it would be despite all appearances. It can't help to cautiously optimistic, right? Out of everything in the café that I hate to see broken, besides Quintin and Nester that is, that machine is at the top of the list, so I'm pretty cross right now. Afterall, what's a coffeeshop without coffee?

Trafalafel seems to agree with me on that point as he waits by the counter, staring down the sweating man trying to get the machine working as he waits. He could go elsewhere to get his unhealthy and unnatural caffeine fix (but really, who am I to talk?), but he told me that he has time. I also think it's because he likes making people deliberately uncomfortable, but eh. Whatever.

"I wonder how often Grand Line's police force has to clean up after their superiors that they're somewhat decent at repair work," he muses at loud. I can see several of the officers twitch.

"I'd wager a lot," I say idly, twirling my pen while I try to solve my puzzle since I managed to get all the beans for tomorrow roasted, "Garp has brought more damage to this place in the years I've known him than a natural disaster. My question is if he's the only one that does it or if the other higher-ups cause as much damage."

"How fun it must be for all the lower ranks," says Law, then sighs as if he is supremely aggravated, "And how inconvenient for the rest of us. All I wanted was some coffee and here I have to wait for the maker to be fixed."

"We're doing our best here!" one of the guys finally bursts out, slamming down his hammer, "You shouldn't talk bad about the people who keep this city safe!"

"Yeah!" a pink-haired kid joins in, "Garp-san is basically a city-wide hero. He may have a few...quirks, but he deserves respect!"

Law shoots a glare at the other guy which gets him to shut up. Haha, he can be so cranky without his coffee, I almost feel sorry for him. I narrow my eyes at the kid; he looks familiar.

"Don't I know you from somewhere?"

"N-No, miss," he gulps nervously and shuts up, going back to work, as do the rest.

I hum quietly and go back to my puzzle, propping Skanda up on the stool Law's standing by. He peers down at the cast critically and raps it a few times with his tattooed knuckles. I wiggle my toes that poke out of the end of the cast at the feeling.

"This is due to come off in a week or two," he informs me.

"Wait, Skanda has to come off?" I ask, surprised.

"That's generally how casts work," he says flatly.

"Oh. Wouldn't know, I've never had one before!" I tap my chin with the pen; does Skanda really have to come off? He's been kinda a pain in the butt, but I think I'll miss him if he really does have to go...

"This is what happens when you jump out of windows."

I sigh.

"You're never going to let that go, are you?"

"No," he sniffs and then, just to be a butt, goes over and starts making himself coffee with the newly repaired machine before I can grab my crutches. I settle for sticking my tongue out at him in revenge, but let it go just this once. To be the better person or whatever.

Law sticks around for a bit longer to drink his coffee, but heads out before Nami makes dinner for the two of us and goes over my finances of the past month, telling me about how horrible they were (as usual) while I smile through it. I'm glad she nags me about it, because it shows she cares! But, I'm feeling pretty good about this coming month, since I actually have quite a bit of extra money for once. Hmm...maybe I should treat myself to something, or get something new for the coffeeshop. A fancy drink maker might be nice!

I listen to Nami more as she goes on about raising my prices just a little bit, smiling blissfully while shooting her down outright and laughing when she _really_ gets into it. I have such good friends!

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Well, we're getting closer to the deadline where I pick up this story for good! I'm really going to try, guys, and I'm trying to go through and reply to reviews, but...there's just so many of you and you're all so super nice TuT So! This is me saying that if I don't answer your comment, I'm sorry but I still really appreciate it! Stay lovely my friends, and look forward to April 1st!**

 **As always, thanks for reading and I hope you stick around ~u~**

 **-jj**

 **PS: Bonus if you can guess the song at the beginning ;3**


	73. Chapter 67: In Which There Are Fools

**1 April/Friday/7:00 am**

As soon as the clock hits seven, bright and early, the bell above the door rings out.

"Hellooooo~!" Usopp calls cheerfully as he enters, but pulls up short when he sees only me behind the counter just starting a fresh pot of coffee, "Huh? Where is everyone, May?"

"Good morning, Usopp," I smile brightly at him, "What are you talking about?"

"You know what day it is, don't you?" he asks, coming up to the counter and fidgeting with my stack of phone books.

"Friday?"

"No! Well, I mean, yeah, but, y'know, it's the first of April..." he trails off with a wave off his hand, gesturing to me that I figure out the rest.

"Oh! You mean Crepe Day!" I laugh, pulling out my puzzle book as if nothing's wrong, "I'm sure everyone will be along soon. But, since you're here, could you go to the back and get the griddles and portable stove for me?"

"No, May! It's my-," Usopp cuts himself off with a sigh, "You know what, nevermind. I'll go get them."

I bite my lip to keep from laughing sympathetically at him. He looks quite dejected; as if I'd really forget! Trailing behind him to the kitchens, I'm only a step behind when he pushes through the doors. In hindsight, this is probably not a smart idea, because as soon as he steps into the room, the lights flash on and a lot of people jump out of their hiding spots and yell, " _Happy Birthday, Usopp!"_ accompanied by several poppers. Usopp lets out a piercing shriek and jumps backwards in fright, which is unfortunate because that is where I happen to be standing. And the thing about jumping onto someone whose leg is out of commission is that it usually does not work out. I _do_ manage to catch Usopp in my arms out of knee-jerk reaction, but in doing so, I drop my crutches and with them goes my balance and we tumble over onto the floor.

Our friends laugh at us, because what else are friends for?, coming over to help us up and bearing a cake made out of several layers of crepes with chocolate creme filling and strawberries with candles poked through. Sanji and I just made it this morning while everyone else was squeezing into any hiding place they could find.

"Y-You guys!' blubbers Usopp, overwhelmed with emotion after the initial shock, "You _did_ remember!"

"Of course, bro!" Franky laughs as he helps him up off of me.

As he gets pulled around by everyone for hugs and congratulations, I take a couple seconds on the ground to wheeze and get my breath back under control because when we fell, Usopp landed squarely on my diaphragm. Franky laughs at my predicament and lies down next to me, holding his phone above us to take a selfie. I manage to hold up a peace sign before the flash goes off and then ask him why he just did that.

"Gotta complete the little slideshow," he chuckles and shows me the photos he's just taken in rapid succession that show, frame by frame like some kind of old Beri-arcade movie, Usopp's surprised face, his jump backwards, our collision, and ungraceful descent.

"Nice," I say as Robin lends me a hand up and Franky hands me my crutches and we join the group of birthday well-wishers.

"You guys didn't have to _surprise_ me like that," Usopp is huffing in embarrassment.

"Oh, that went way beyond surprise, you looked like you were about to pee yourself!" laughs Nami.

"I did not!"

"Sorry for scaring the shit out of you, Usopp, but it was an Aril Fool's prank!" Luffy tells him, slapping him firmly on the back, "Happy Birthday!"

"Yeah!" I cheer, "You all know what that means! Brook!"

I snap my finger to my musically talented friend who pulls his guitar seemingly out of nowhere and strikes a chord in preparation.

"Oh god no-," Usopp begins, but is cut off by our terrible rendition of the Birthday Song. Wow! I'm impressed, I think that's the most off-key we've ever done it. I think on that note (haha, music jokes!), it'll set the tone for the day. I hope it's a good one!

* * *

 **9:30 am**

The day has gone mostly like any other Crepe Day. When that Crepe Day also lands on April Fool's Day. Basically a _lot_ of pranks and harmless jokes. I mean a _**lot**_ of pranks. But it's all good fun, because we keep it from being mean-spirited. For the most part.

However, a wrench gets thrown into our celebration of Usopp and merriment in the form of a tall, intimidating, and extremely irritated-looking man stepping into the coffeeshop. It's strange because I don't know him, and a lot of times I only see people I know on Crepe Day.

"I just want you to know," this mystery man growls as he comes up to the counter, "That I'm in a very bad mood and am _not_ pleased to be sent on this stupid errand."

I blink up at him in the middle of handing off a crepe to Sanji to be filled with butter, lemon juice, and sugar.

"Uhhhh...I'm sorry for your inconvenience?" I say, but it comes out more like a question. I glance around at my friends briefly; huh, for some reason, a lot of them are turning their faces away from this man, discreetly hiding their faces in their drinks, behind newspapers, or the pots of flowers scattered about.

"Well, where is it?" he snaps, and I jump back to attention.

"Sorry?! Where is what?"

Wow, I can _hear_ his teeth grinding together.

"The coffee for the police," he grits the words out like flour from a grinding mill, "The director wanted to come himself but he had previous engagements and sent _me_ on this stupid coffee run."

"Ohhhhhh!" I say, everything making much more sense now, "I see, I see!"

I wave down to Sabo who is at the end of the counter closest to the kitchen and call, "Could you get the bags that are waiting on the counter just by the door?"

He gives me a thumbs up, disappears into the kitchen, and comes back with arms full of fifteen burlap sacks filled with coffee beans, which he deposits on the counter for me. The policeman narrows his eyes at my friend, and I wonder what he finds so offensive until I get a look at Sabo's shirt for the first time today. It reads in bold, all capital letters 'Fuck the Police.'

I devolve into a very loud coughing fit which brings the man's attention back to me.

"You'll have to excuse my friend," I choke out between coughs, "He foreign, from, uhh-,"

"Rubeck," Sabo supplies.

"Yeah, there," I nod my head fervently, hoping that the increasingly-pissed-off looking police buys this, "His shirt means 'Live Love Eat'."

"Póg mo thóin," Sabo says chipperly and Robin snorts discreetly into her tea, which makes the irate man turn on her.

"He was simply saying 'Good day, sir' in his native tongue. It's a very common greeting in Rubeckan," she says in a strained voice behind her hand which could be mistaken for holding back a cough, but I can see it's actually laughter as Franky thumps her back to make it convincing.

"Whatever. Just give me the coffee so I can be done with all this unprofessionalism," he scoffs and I hand over the bags one at a time.

"What are you talking about, I'm super professional," I say, slightly miffed. This statement might go over better if I wasn't wearing a previously-Nami's shirt that reads: "I'm not gay, but ฿500 is ฿500". But details, details.

With a parting sneer, he takes the beans and sweeps out the door. And it's only until after he's left that I realize something.

"Oh no! I didn't get his name!"

My friends, who had been surprisingly quiet for this whole exchange, burst out laughing.

"May! That was Akainu!" Ace laughs raucously, "He's one of the highest-ranking people on the police force, and he was sent on a _coffee run_. Oh this is priceless, I need to tell Pops about this. Sabo, were you _looking_ at his face when he read your shirt?!"

Sabo can't answer because he's doubled over from laughing too hard, having to brace himself with one hand on the counter.

"What did Sabo say?" I ask Robin curiously.

She chuckles:

"Kiss my ass."

"Oh," I break into surprised laughter along with everyone else, " _Oh._ "

* * *

 **1:45 pm**

" _Achoo!"_

I rub at my nose absently while I take a break from making crepes since Patty and Carne have been nice enough to take over. Although, maybe it's not the best thing because Sanji is hanging over their shoulders and intentionally ticking them off by criticizing their culinary skills and I'm starting to dread for the intact-ness of the café for the near future. Oh well. If that happens, at least my friends from Galley-La are here.

"Oh no! Are you coming down with a cold, May-chan?" asks Perona, who has been twittering around Mihawk-san for the past hour and preventing him from leaving every time he tries to get up and go.

"Probably," I tell her, "I usually get sick when the Seasons change. I'm probably going to come down with something within the next couple days."

"Oi! May!" someone calls out as the enter the coffeeshop; it's Cabaji from Buggy's followed by Mohji, "Got your order out back."

"Wonderful!" I beam, then turn to the men making crepes, "Got it covered for a little longer?"

"Of course, May-chan!" Patty shoots me a thumbs up which I return; I leave them to continue bickering with Sanji and make my way to the kitchen to open the back door for the delivery.

I get the deliveries for the café every two weeks or so, things like bulk flour, sugar, flavor extracts, and coffee beans. It's funny, because I think I actually buy more food for personal use (which goes into feeding my friends) than I do for my business. Huh, maybe I should start buying in bulk to stock my non-commercial fridge. It would certainly save me making a looooooot of grocery runs. I mean a loooooooooooot of grocery runs. For real.

"Where do you want everything?" a worker wearing a jester-like hat asks.

"Eggs, butter, and the like in that fridge over there," I point out the indicated refrigerator to him, "I have a very specific way of ordering things in there though."

"How's that?"

"Arrange them so that a small child or other-aged human can't fit in there," I say, and he must be a new employee of Buggy's because he gives me a strange look; which is stupid, because that's a perfectly reasonable way to arrange things, so I dismiss him with a wave of my hand, "Mohji should know how to do it."

Buggy's guys helpfully bring in all of the items and I do quick inspections of everything to check off, and with their help of putting everything away, it gets done quick!

"Thank you for you work!" I sing as they prepare to leave and I pass of crepes to each one of them as they go; Mohji holds out his had for me to shake and I'm shocked when I take it, literally. Ah, the classic handshake buzzer. He laughs at my expense although he gets what's coming when he walks right into the doorway and it's my turn to laugh.

Cabaji passes as well, and I'm surprised by the flower he offers. I go to take it but squeak as I find myself with a face full of water that squirts from the center of the flower.

"April Fool's!" he cackles, then shrieks a moment later when I spit back some of the water that caught in my mouth at him. He looks like he might retaliate, but then deflates and shrugs. "Alright, that's fair."

"You bet your butt it is," I giggle and wave to them all as the food truck's doors slam shut and starts rumbling away down the alley, "Take care everyone, Happy April Fool's Day!"

At least today's been much tamer than last year. Hoo boy, it was wild. Although, we do still have half the day to get through, so maybe I shouldn't speak as I close the back door and hobble myself over to the front of the house again where I can hear several crashes and what's probably Quintin breaking. Well, as they say: it's not a major holiday without property damage!

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! AND WE'RE BACK. OK. SO. I am going to try my darn hardest to get this story done this year and hopefully I will be able to keep up with the schedule of updating at least every other day, which is a huge task, but I've put myself to it and I really REALLY want to see it through to the end. Thank you for being patient with me, you guys, I could not ask for better and more supportive readers than you all TvT Also, huge shout out to Tetsik, who's going to be helping me get keep up with deadlines for writing chapters!**

 **Thank you for reading, and please stick around!**

 **-jj**

 **Fun fact: If you don't know, the beri symbol on May's shirt is the baht symbol (฿), the currency of Thailand. Obviously, the Beri symbol does not exist on a keyboard, so I had to use the closest thing I could :D It's fairly similar, don't you think?, just a little less fancy. But yeah, if you ever see it pop up again, just know that it's supposed to represent beris, not Thailand's money haha**


	74. Chapter 68: In Which I Am Sick

**Mild warning: this chapter deals with a mental health disorder (anxiety), but it's not too bad or even that graphic. It only starts at 7:30 pm towards the end of the chapter, so the rest is ok to read if you're sensitive to this. Ok, that should be all!**

* * *

 **2 April/Saturday/3:00 am**

I open my eyes blearily in my darkened room and I'm hit with an overwhelming feeling that can be described in many ways, but I sum it up as two words: ' _Oh no.'_ My left nostril feels like the Sandora Desert has taken up residency in it, while Aqua Laguna seems to be sweeping through the other nostril. My throat can't seem to make up it's mind, feeling simultaneously like it's constricted with something slimy and disgustingly viscous, but also dry as Robin's sense of humor and desperately screaming for water.

I'm sick.

No sooner does this realization hit than I start hacking up wet-sounding coughs punctuated by loud full-body sneezes that wake up Chou Chou and it's all just very gross as I drag myself out of bed and stumble for the box of tissues. I groan as I fall over without the support of my crutches and fumble blindly for the tissues. It's cold outside of the bed with my fever chills, so I crawl my way to the closet and, from my spot lying on the ground, tug on some coats until they fall from their hangers. Putting them on while remaining horizontal on the ground turns out to be a process that any person witnessing could probably accurately compare to a butterfly attempting to reverse the life cycle and become a caterpillar again by wiggling and flopping about back into its cocoon.

By the time I get enough layers on to feel semi-warm, what little strength was in my body this morning has been sucked out and I'm left on the ground, tired and making distressed caterpillar noises if that caterpillar was sick and also a twenty-something year old woman. Completely wiped out, I don't even know when my eyes slip closed and I fall back asleep.

* * *

I'm startled awake when someone trips over me. I start panicking for a moment because _why am I not in my bed and why is it dark?_ and then _who the hell is in my home?_ and finally _god, I feel like death_ , but then someone grunts and says:

"May? Why the hell're you on the floor?"

That sounds like Zoro and I try to respond, but I start coughing loudly instead.

"Geez," I can hear him say, and I still can't see anything but I hear someone else walk up and starts speaking as well. Sounds like Sanji.

"May-chan! Are you alright?!"

"Nnnnnnnnnnnwha' time 's'it?" I moan as Zoro helps me sit up and Sanji hits the light switch.

"Five in the morning," Zoro informs me, "You weren't downstairs so we came to see what's up."

"Five in the morning?!" I yelp and jolt away from Zoro's supportive hand on my shoulder, "I slept in so late, I need to get the shop ready!"

"What? Absolutely not!" Sanji says in alarm and I crumble over as I devolve into coughing that prevents me from trying to get to my feet, "There's no way you can work in your state right now, May-chan, I wouldn't be surprised if you're running a fever."

"It's just a little cold," shrugs Zoro, "Nothing she can't handle. Just walk it off, May."

"Yeah, it's just a cold," I parrot and attempt to get up again, "Two-to-one, Sanji is out-voted."

A particularly hard sneeze sends me sprawling onto my back.

"Uh-huh, yeah. No," Sanji says flatly and picks me up effortlessly to bring me back to my bed, placing the box of tissues near my head where I can reach them easily before placing a hand on my forehead and hissing, "Shit, you're burning up!"

"Are you saying I'm hot?" I weakly snap finger guns at him and I can't see him, but I think I can physically _feel_ Zoro rolling his eyes at me.

"Always, May-chan, but not that way right now. Mosshead, call Chopper or Torao. I'm going to make you something nice and easy to eat for breakfast, May."

My only answer is another explosive sneeze. Zoro nonchalantly takes a seat at the foot of my bed, tapping away at his phone. I cough a few more times, and fade out of consciousness again before Zoro has even dialed.

* * *

 **7:00 am**

I sit up in my bed abruptly and probably startle Sanji and Zoro quite a bit from where they had been bickering by my bedside, and it still feels like death has shoved it's clammy, suffocating hand down my throat, but I can't focus on either of those things right now. There's something much more important.

"May-chan, how are you feeling-?" Sanji starts, but I cut him off.

"Someone's touching my coffee machine without my permission," I hiss; I can just _feel_ it, "Zoro, take me downstairs. Right now."

"Don't you dare, marimo–May-chan, you need to rest-"

"No!" I say stubbornly, and Zoro, bless his heart for caring much less about my health than Sanji, picks me up and quickly brings us downstairs, where I see (without my glasses or contacts) two blurs that look like Chopper and Law.

And the Law-Blur is standing in front of the coffee machine.

 _Touching_ it.

 _Fiddling_ with it.

"Attack!" I cry hoarsely, and Zoro–seriously bless his heart for being such a good friend–complies and basically throws me at Law.

I slam into him and he fumbles to catch me; up close, I can see his startled expression which is really funny and if I weren't occupied with trying to wiggle my Cold and Freezing hands underneath his shirt, I would totally take a picture of it. Understanding what I'm trying to do, he tries to drop me, but I change tactics and shove my hands down the back of the neck of his hoodie and cling to him like an unwanted and very cold barnacle. He finally manages to grab me under the armpits and hold me at an arm's length, glaring viciously at me, which I return in kind.

I also shove my Skanda-clad foot into his gut, for good measure.

"I did warn you," I tell him.

"I thought you were sick," he says.

I sneeze to the side.

Which just so happens to be where one of his arms is still holding me up.

He immediately puts me down with a look of barely concealed disgust and whips out a little bottle of hand sanitizer from his pocket to pour over his skin that just received a gentle shower of spit and mucus. I wipe my nose on my hand and the disgust in his face grows more distinct, probably because of some health violations or somesuch. I turn to Chopper and greet him with a smile.

"Hi, Chopper, absolutely spiffing to see you," I say and he gives a tentative smile in return. And then I cough a bit.

"Good morning, May," he says, "Zoro called and told me that Sanji told him to tell us that you're sick. What are you symptoms?"

"Everything it feels like," I say and grab a tissue that I can honk my nose into, "Stuffy nose, stuffy head, sore throat, and just overall feeling like poop."

"So, this is your typical Season Cold?" he asks and I nod.

"Does this happen a lot?" questions Law.

"Every time the a new Season starts," I confirm, "It's usually the worst in Winter though."

"Ok, I brought some throat lozenges with me, but you really just need to rest and take it easy today. Drink plenty of liquids," Dr. Chopper prescribes to me and I can feel my eye twitch.

"But it's not Monday."

"May, if you don't rest today, I'm gonna take a page from Torao-sensei's book and handcuff you to your bed and force you to rest," Chopper threatens, surprisingly stern for the usually-sweet kid.

I turn to Law.

"You're a bad influence."

"Thank you."

I swing Skanda to kick him in the shin. The jerk doesn't even flinch. I huff and look around the café: it's so empty and it feels so _wrong_ to be like this at 7:00 on a Friday. I sneeze again into the tissue and take a look at the calendar.

"Wait! I can't rest today! It's Jinbe's birthday and his cake isn't done!" I wail, and try to hop into the kitchen; my crutches are upstairs but I won't let that deter me.

"Yeah, don't let a little cold beat you," Zoro encourages from the doorway.

"Zoro, shut up," growls Chopper before asking me sweetly, "May, don't you need your tea first?"

"Oh, thank you," I turn back around before I make it to the kitchen and Chopper hands me a cup of steaming tea which I down instantly; it's only one cup, but it'll have to do, "That's really considerate of you Chopper."

Hm, why do I feel even more tired though? This was supposed to wake me up, not make me sleepy.

"Yup. Have a good sleep," he says.

"What...?"

The rest of my question trails away as I start to fall backwards. At least I'm asleep before my head cracks against the floor. But I'm going to have such a headache when I wake up.

* * *

 **3:00 pm**

"I just want you to know, that you have disappointed me. Me _and_ Chou Chou," I tell Chopper, who's sitting next to me in the backseat as Sanji drives us to Jinbe's home. My little white dog is currently curled up in my lap and Jinbe's cake (assembled by Sanji) is between us.

I've spent the day under forced house arrest thanks to my friends. I guess Chopper slipped some crushed up sleeping pills into my tea this morning, so I spent a good portion of it knocked out. If my head weren't so fuzzy, I'd be in a much more foul mood, but at least I have Jinbe's party to pep up for.

"No, Chou Chou actually supports what I did, because he agrees that you needed rest," Chopper says back to me, "I'm the animal whisperer, not you, so I know what he's saying."

"Yeah, May, even dog's know your legendary Nightmare-Patient status," Nami (who is hitching a ride) chimes in from the front seat.

I blow a raspberry at them, having no brain power to come up with a better retort. But, I can't stay mad for long, because we're pulling up to Jinbe's house!

He lives in the same woods (that are in the middle of the city...still don't know how that works out) as Izo does, just a little bit farther so they're not exactly neighbors. But, he does have a similarly styled house with something akin to a small lake full of koi fish behind it and zen gardens all around. Jinbe himself is one of my most favorite persons: he's all big and intimidating when you first see him, but really, he's like a big cuddly uncle that always looks out for you. And, he gives the best hugs! We also have the same condition where our hands sometimes turns blue when it's too cold, although he has it much worse than me and sometimes his whole body goes blue.

Good times, good times.

As soon as we pull up to Jinbe's house, Izo is right by my door and throwing it open.

"May-chan~, my lovely little flower, Jinbe's cherry blossoms are in full bloom and I have the _perfect_ thing for you to wear that compliments them-!"

I cut Izo off by accidentally sneezing in his face and he makes a quick retreat to wipe off his face.

"Sorry," I cough, but apparently me being sick doesn't deter him since he still has the _Look._

"I'm so sorry you're not feeling well," he simpers and picks me up out of the car, and I desperately try to cling onto Chopper, but Izo's having none of it, "I'll make sure to be gentle."

I cast forlorn eyes to Chopper as I'm hauled away since my pathetic strength is no match for Izo's, and my three friends wave back at me. Thankfully it's a relatively painless process with Izo doing most of the work, and I'm quickly released back into the wild so I can greet everyone, coughing and sniffling the whole way. And Izo gave me a hanten to wear, so I'm warm at least.

He also gave me a surgical mask so we wouldn't have repeat issues of me sneezing on him.

So, in conclusion: I feel horrible and I've probably gone through an entire box of tissues at this point, but at least I look nice.

"Jinbe!" I cry when I _finally_ see him and pat Chopper's shoulder excitedly and point until he gets the message to carry me over to our friend.

Chopper lifts me up enough so that I can wrap my arms around Jinbe's neck and hug him, which he returns enthusiastically and even spins us around. It makes me _super_ dizzy with my already scrambled head, but it's worth it.

"May-san!" he laughs, "It is good you could make it! I had heard that you were under the weather, and I see that it's true, so that makes your presence all the more meaningful."

"Aw geez," I say bashfully, "I couldn't miss your birthday for the world! By the way, _I_ made the cake. It was me. Sanji helped decorate. But I did most of the work. That was me. Yes."

"I'm sure it's splendid," he pats my head and situates me on one of the many blankets set up under his magnificent cherry trees, which as Izo said, are simply stunning in full bloom, and makes a promise to come back one he's greeted everyone else that has arrived.

I have a nice set up here under the trees, with my tissues and view of all the other partyers. I wave as enthusiastically as I can to Whitey Bay-neesan with my arm feeling like an over-cooked limp asparagus and see that Pops is already going head to head with others in a drinking contest. I settle back and get as comfortable as I can, ready to sit and enjoy this as best as I can.

* * *

 **7:30 pm**

"-And this crazy kid, this uppity brat, just comes out of no where while I'm walking down the street, and challenges me to a fight," Jinbe laughs deeply as we all sit in a circle, enjoying sake and cake (that _I_ made) and listening to how Jinbe and Ace met, "Almost didn't take him seriously, but it ended up being a worthy battle!"

I've been letting everyone doing most of the talking since my throat isn't up to speaking much right now. But, it's still nice to be included.

"Sounds familiar," Oyaji chuckles and I watch as a single cherry blossom petal falls into my cup delicately to land on the , "Young brat did exactly the same thing to me."

"I had a lot of anger in me back then," Ace says with faux-sageliness and I grin under my mask.

"You can be a real hot head sometimes stil-" I cut off when I feel a tingling sensation on my hand. A very, _very_ familiar tingle.

It's amazing how fast it can happen sometimes. Already my hands are beginning to tremble as my gaze shoots down to my hand, the clear alcohol starting to shiver over the sides of its cup, and I see.

It.

There, on my hand, poisonous red with disgusting black spots of death, the little insects crawls along my skin. With a sharp gasp, the sake falls from my hands and now the real tremors start and it feels like I can't breath and I can _feel_ my heart pounding painfully in my ears and thousands of little legs are creeping all over me again and my body is going numb–is it from the cold?–and why is everyone still laughing? they all sound so far away and–

"May?"

My eyes can't be pulled away from the monstrosity still making its way to the inside of my wrist, but I can see what I vaguely recognize as Ace's bright hat in my peripherals as he leans in front of me to get my attention. I try to form words, why can't I _speak_ , help, help–

I can hear Ace swear, but it sounds to my ears like he's speaking from the other side of a closed door, and then there's a hand clutching my arm and another hand slaps down on the ladybug, killing it. With its life goes the sensation that bugs are crawling over every piece of me. Instead, they're replaced my warm hands soothing up and down my arms.

"Shitshitshit, May, you alright? You with me?"

I can finally look at Ace with wide eyes, and with barely a hiccup as warning, I start bawling.

Immediately, I hear people asking what's wrong or if I'm okay, but that's really not what I want right now, and Ace, thank goodness, thinks fast and picks me up and takes us inside, brushing off people's questions with quick reassurances. It's some relief once we get inside and away from all the watching eyes, but now that I've started crying, I simply can't stop. Ace brings us to a side room and sits us both down, rubbing my back and talking me through it.

"Yup, you just get all that out. Let it allll out," he says, and I sneeze violently a couple times, which he nods to and passes me some tissues, "Yeah, that too. That's good. Get all that grossness out."

At some point, Jinbe quietly comes in and leaves a heating blanket for me, since my condition acts up during these attacks and my fingers and toes have a tendency to go numb and blue. He leaves quickly though, knowing I don't like to be seen by a lot of people when I'm like this.

It takes a while (I don't really know how long, but it's much darker in the room now so the sun must have set), but the tears do eventually stop until we're just sitting quietly. A little later after I've taken some breaths to calm down, I let out a small laugh that's still somewhere between a sob.

"Hm?" Ace asks.

"It's just," my voice does that really annoying thing where it breaks and shudders even though I'm no longer crying, "This has been a horrible day."

And then I laugh some more (slightly hysterical but who cares) until Ace joins in, and then we're both laughing, because sometimes horrible days happen, but it's so good to know that I have a place I can be when things like this happen as well as friends there that will still love me, and it's _okay_ for me to be here and be having a horrible day.

And for now, I'm feeling quite tired and ready to be done with this day, so I let myself drift off, listening to the sounds of my family enjoying themselves outside and Ace's steady breaths as I lean against him and nod off.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Well! We're finally seeing some more serious stuff in this story, but I promise, it won't stay that way for long, since this is primarily a comedy. If you don't know, May experienced an anxiety attack, and why exactly it happened will be explored more in the next chapters for some long-awaited backstory! Also, I dunno if I mentioned it here, but the condition she and Jinbe share is known as Raynaud's Syndrome: it can be triggered by the cold or stress, so yeah. Fun times.**

 **But! Never fear! Brook's birthday is tomorrow, so I promise the fun and lightness will return. Until then, thank you for reading and stick around!**

 **-jj**


	75. Chapter 69: In Which There Are Thrills

**3 April/Sunday/7:00 am**

When I was young, I don't know exactly what age but the best guess is when I was eight, I didn't have a home. My memories of early childhood are pretty fuzzy, but I can remember wandering around the wilderness alone, nobody else except some animals–foxes, deer, even wolves or bears sometimes, all sorts really–that I would sometimes follow and they would help me find things to eat and let me sleep next to them at night. Looking back on it now, it's nothing short of a miracle that I survived, but then again, animals always have taken an unusual liking to me.

I met my first person that I can remember when I was eight or so. It wasn't really...pleasant, in the shortest terms. Well, no, in shorter terms, it was bad. Just plain bad.

Sometime during my aimless wandering, I stumbled upon a farm. At the time, I didn't understand that the fruits growing on the perfectly lined and spaced trees belonged to someone else, and when the owner found a dirty kid eating his property. Well, he wasn't happy.

What followed afterward is what caused my crippling fear of ladybugs and also probably had a hand in my developing Raynaud's.

I take a moment to stop by the ovens and warm my hands with their residual heat since they're starting to get that tingly numb feeling before finishing off my tea, taking a deep breath, and putting on a smile to go out to meet my friends that are waiting.

There's a lot of birthdays at the beginning of April, and today just so happens to be Brook's! Our little group of friends has gathered for a full birthday breakfast, courtesy of Sanji of course. I've been busy setting up shop, but I'll be joining them now, at least until a customer comes in. Any other time, I might wait and open up a little later to celebrate with everyone, but I've been stopped from running my coffeeshop a bit too much lately than I consider acceptable. And it's a good thing my work is fun, because it's 'Don't Work Unless It's Fun' Day!

At least I'm feeling better, which is a huge relief, even if my body's still feeling a bit fatigued from battling the cold. It seems like I got everything out of my system yesterday. In terms of physical health. In terms of mental health, well, days like yesterday have a tendency to linger and I can fall into a funk if I'm not careful.

And that's what Hawaiian shirts are for!

My most bright and ugly Hawaiian shirt is the key part of my outfit today, and I put on a bright smile as I gimp my way out to the front.

"Ah, and here she is at last!" calls Franky, "In all her Hawaiian-shirt-glory!"

I beam and take my seat after giving Brook a quick hug and peck on the cheek as I pass him.

"What's on the agenda for today?" I ask the group at large as we all tuck in to the meal (Sanji had previously been holding Luffy back until I took a chair).

"Brook?" Luffy asks, "You're the birthday boy, shishishi!"

"Well," he begins, sipping at his tea with his pinky pointed daintily into the air, "I was rather hoping you all would come to see a performance of mine tonight. There's a jazz bar in the Florian District that's becoming quite the hot spot in Grand Line, Thriller Bark, and they've asked me to give a little show."

We all start exclaiming excitedly at once, congratulating him and saying of course we'll come.

"Thriller Bark...sounds familiar," Robin muses as everyone settles down, "Isn't it known for-? Ah, well, I guess it will be a surprise."

"Hm? What's it famous for, Robin?" Usopp asks, and she smiles slightly, but it's hard to say if it's a good smile.

"You'll see."

Oooo, probably not a good smile then.

* * *

 **6:30 pm**

"This is..."

"S-Spooky?"  
"Lame?"  
"Cheesy."  
"Tasteless."  
"Something that looks like it stole all the contents of a Halloween store and threw it all into one place? Yeah."

"I was going to say 'interesting'," I say, "But all those work too."

My friends and I all stand outside the massive building that proclaims it to be Thriller Bark (accompanied by a logo of a skull with bat-like wings), staring up at it. The place looks like it was trying to go for a haunted mansion-meets zombie apocalypse-meets mad surgeon, if the decorations on the exterior are anything to go by.

"So, this is a themed bar?" Usopp asks, taking it in with some apprehension, "I-I guess it's a _little_ scary, but nothing we can't handle. Especially ME, the Brave Usopp!"

With his chest puffed up with confidence, he steps up to the door shaped like a mouth first and reaches for the handle.

"Oh, Usopp, you should probably know-," Robin starts, but he's already pulling the door open.

With a shriek like a banshee, Usopp jumps away from the door like a flying squirrel to hide behind Zoro as a ghost pops out a him.

"...We have to go through a haunted house with scares like that to get to the bar," Robin finishes, just a moment too late.

Looking very shaky and sweaty, Usopp peaks out from behind Zoro and looks at the ghost puppet that is slowly retreating back to its hiding place. He gulps.

"Oh heck."

* * *

I stand by my first thoughts on Thriller Bark: it's...interesting. I don't think I've ever been to a restaurant or bar that is as dedicated to its theme as this one. Not only do we have to deal with props, but actual employees dressed up with very detailed costumes and makeup ranging from zombies to weird stitched-up creatures or some combination of the two jumping out at us.

Although, there have been decidedly less live humans scaring us.

The word must have spread after the fourth time Zoro punched someone who tried to sneak up on him.

Another zombie-puppet pops out of no where, and hardly blinking, Luffy punches it's head clear off out of pure instinct. Robin catches it nonchalantly and looks into the dead, fake eyes.

"No need to lose our heads here," she says calmly, and Luffy laughs.

"God I fucking love you," I can just hear Franky murmur to her.

I laugh too, but suddenly jolt when I feel something that feels a lot like Chou Chou licking me on my exposed thigh, and shriek instead.

"The fu- Something just _licked me?_ " I yelp and hop away from where I felt the sensation, unsteady on my one good leg and now feeling very exposed in my booty shorts that say on the butt 'R U Nasty?'

Nami shrieks as well and jolts, and even Robin looks startled a moment later as well.

"Ew, I felt that too!" Nami says in disgust, "What the hell was that?"

I squint into the darkness and see something moving about.

A shadow rises.

And then rises and rises, and oh my god, that looks like the shadow of a huge dog with three heads. Usopp immediately screams and jumps into the closest pair of arms (Sanji's), with Chopper following closely behind.

The dog growls and steps closer into the dim light, and okay, I can see that two of the heads are fake and hanging off of the real head's shoulders, but it is still very big.

However, that does not concern me in the least.

"Puppy!" I cry and hold my arms out, despite my friends trying to hold me back.

"Oh my god, May, this is _so_ not the time-!"

But, as soon as the dog's eyes land on me, it's like it transforms into an entirely new animal. Its ears relax and its tail starts wagging lazily as it approaches me. And of course, I have to pet! The massive dog shoves its nose into my tummy and starts sniffing all around me as I rub its ears and chest, and pretty quickly, it's flopping over so that I can rub her tummy.

"Aww, who's a good girl?" I coo at her as Robin kneels down to give her a few pats, whispering "Cute..." under her breath as the dog starts licking at my leg; ah! So that's what that sensation was earlier!

"Why is there a dog in a bar? Er, haunted house. Whatever," Usopp asks.

"It's not just any dog, Usopp," Luffy says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, "It's a Cerberus."

"A very malnourished Cerberus, by the looks of it," Chopper comments in concern, pointing out that the dog is very skinny for its size.

"It does look sickly now that you mention it," says Nami, "I thought that was just makeup or something at first."

"Can I keep her?" I ask my friends, sparkles in my eyes; she's such a sweet girl!

"No, May, she probably belongs to whoever owns this nut house of horror," Nami tells me, then looks at her watch, "Speaking of this nut house, we've gotta get through the rest of this quick. Brook's on at 7:30 and we only have five minutes to get there!"

* * *

 **7:30 pm**

We burst through a door and it seems we have _finally_ made it to the bar portion of Thriller Bark, being greeted by a person who's dressed up as a vampire, or at least some bat-creature.

"Good evening," he welcomes us with a toothy smile.

"Uh, hi," Nami replies, slightly out of breath.

We spent the last five minutes on a mad dash through a hellscape of vaguely-cute-but-very-fucked-up zombie animals and the like (even the trees were zombies?). Unfortunately, I had to leave Cerberus behind, but I'll never forget her!

It seems like we're just in time, too, because the lights dim and a spotlight trains on a stage on the far side of the bar, and we see the familiar figure of Brook as he strums the first notes of his first song.

"Oh thank goodness!" Nami sighs in relief, "Just made it! May, Chopper, wanna go find us seats while we get the drinks?"

"Sounds good."

"So look, all I'm saying is," I tell Chopper as we wade through the seats and tables that are filled with people already, "We could totally go back through that maze before we leave, grab Cerberus, leave, and no one would even know she's gone."

"I'm pretty sure that's theft, May," Chopper tells me hesitantly.

"Is it theft if she "follows" us home?"

He pointedly does not answer me and chooses to join the audience in cheering for Brook as his first song comes to a close. I follow too, since Brook is wonderfully talented, but this conversation isn't done.

"Woo! Brook, I love you!" I call over the applauding crowd.

"Thank you, thank you!" he says into the microphone, "It's lovely to see so many people here. My name is Brook and I'll be your entertainment for tonight. And I might even play a few songs for you too, yohoho!"

We listen to Brook, who is really in top form tonight. I rub at my legs since it's drafty in here, just shy of being chilly. I can feel goosepimples breaking out across my skin and my fingers are starting to loose feeling, bringing me back to less pleasant memories that were made fresh yesterday which even my Hawaiian shirt can't seem to suppress–so I'm grateful when Chopper makes a noise of surprise that brings me back to the present.

"Is that-? I think it is!" he says, looking past my shoulder at someone behind me, "Look there! But, uh, don't be obvious about it."

So naturally, I do the exact opposite and turn myself bodily around to blatantly stare at them. The person of Chopper's interest appears to be a worker here, some kind of mad scientist character, or that's my best guess. I turn back to Chopper with a questioning look.

"If I'm right, and I'm pretty sure I'm right," he explains, "That's Dr. Hogback, a very renowned surgeon!"

"Huh. Wonder what he's doing here?" I say, before something pink catches my attention from the corner of my eye, "Perona?!"

The pink-haired woman who had been passing by pauses at her name and all but floats over when she sees us.

"May-chan, I didn't know you were coming here! I would have gotten tonight off if I knew," she says, bouncing over and practically crushing me in a hug.

"You work here?" I ask in amazement.

Her typical loli-goth outfit seems to be amplified tonight: she wears some short of shawl-cape and an even bigger crown than usual. In her arms is a dopey-looking ghost plushie with big lips and a tongue flopping out of its mouth.

"Of course," she giggles, "I'm Thriller Bark's Ghost Princess. I'm basically in charge around here, second only to the big boss himself. Anyway, I'd love to chat, but I have things to do. Toodles!"

We both watch her go and applaud Brook as he finishes his song.

"Wow, I didn't even know Perona had a job! I just realized there may be a lot of things I don't know about my friends," I muse aloud.

"You can say that again," mutters Chopper, and I don't get time to ask what he means by that, because the rest of our gang has arrived and are taking seats around us.

"Oh my god, I didn't have a good impression of this place going in, and it just got worse," Nami gripes as she pulls up a chair, "The flipping bartender just tried to grope me."

"Ew," I say, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just tased him."

"Good," I tell her brightly.

"Yes! How dare that disgusting man try to cop a feel on my darling Nami!" Sanji says heatedly, looking infuriated.

Robin, Nami, and I share a look.

"Sanji," says Robin very slowly, "I'd like you to think about what is wrong with those words coming from your mouth and reflect on them before answering."

"Huh? Is it something I said, Robin-chan?"

"Dumbass," Zoro scoffs to the side, and although Sanji doesn't know exactly what's going on, he still gets offended and the two quickly start fighting.

"Well, one good thing about the disgusting attentions of men is that I'm getting free drinks tonight," Nami says in a sickly-sweet voice as a waitress comes over with our drinks.

She appears to be a pin-up zombie girl or something to that affect, and Nami certainly doesn't seem to mind her dead-eyed look as she tries to be discreet about looking her over. She looks...quite familiar actually as I get a closer look at her when she hands me a 'Blood' Orange Sangria and I thank her.

"I'm in love," Sanji sighs as the waitress leaves, smashing some plates on the ground as she goes, and I hear Nami whisper "Me too," next to me.

"Right, 'cause we haven't heard that about any woman you meet with long legs and a nice rack," snorts Usopp, who yelps as if he's been kicked under the table a moment later.

"Oh!" I say suddenly in realization, since Nami being gay reminded me, "She looks like Victoria Cindry!"

"Cindry?" Sanji asks, "That stunning classic actress that died a decade ago? That Victoria Cindry?"

"Yeah! Mom had a loooot of posters of her."

In fact, my other Mama had some pictures of her too, and I heard them once agree that if by some miracle either of them ever met the actress, the other would be okay with and completely understand if they had an affair with her.

"Huh, y'know, Bellmere did too, actually," Nami muses.

We all pause to watch the waitress walk about, delivering orders and smashing more plates that are unfortunate enough to cross her path.

"Do we know if Victoria Cindry had any particular fear or aversion to plates?" Usopp asks tentatively.

"Did I just say I'm in love with a woman that could be more than old enough to be my mother?" Nami asks with dawning horror.

"It would certainly seem so," Robin says evenly, "If it makes you feel any better, there is a small chance that she has somehow suspended herself in time in order to be busing tables in a theme bar after surviving her supposed death years ago.

"Not really," she groans miserably.

* * *

 **9:40 pm**

This night has progressed from 'interesting' to 'wild' as it usually does when I'm around my friends. Apparently to go along with the spooky theme, there's little acts the employees have planned out and they'll perform whenever Brook takes a short break. It's pretty cheesy, though I do admit that they must have some good equipment here: for Perona's act, she had a sort of rig that allowed her to float around the bar like the Ghost Princess she is. Cheesy, yes, but still kinda cool!

At some point, Zoro, Sanji, and Nami disappeared. Nami showed back up wearing a wedding dress of all things, explaining to us in a miffed voice that the creepy bartender had pulled her aside (against her will, she might add) and told her she had been selected for the audience-participation part of the show, Franken-Lion's Bride or some bull. She refused, but kept the dress and tased him one more time for good measure when he tried to kiss her.

Zoro and Sanji also popped up later, not wearing wedding dresses, but they _were_ fighting some of the workers for reasons unknown, and so of course Luffy had to join in. None of this fazes the bar's other patrons though. They must think it's all part of the act.

And now, it's gone past the territory of 'wild' and straight into the realm of ridiculous. I'm not really clear on all the details because I'm trying to pay attention and enjoy Brook's performance (which hasn't stopped during the fighting), but I guess the big boss of Thriller Bark himself (some guy in a demon costume?) has come out to fight himself, operating some giant mechanical zombie monster of some kind, please don't ask me what it's doing in a bar or how it even fits in here because I have no sweet clue. I just lift my drink out of the way when it's in danger of being crushed by flying objects or people and that's about it.

It actually ends up really well-timed: Luffy deals the finishing blow as Brook is ending his finale piece, and the demon guy goes down with a crash. There's a silence in the bar before the audience all jumps to their feet in a standing ovation as Brook takes his bows, being showered by flowers thrown on the stage. He scoops a couple of them up as he waves and leaves the stage to come over to our table.

"Absolutely super performace!" Franky pounds him on the back and Brook beams as we all congratulate him.

"Thank you, my friends!" he laughs cheerfully, twisting some of his flowers into an impromptu crown and placing it on his head, "A most successful night. And so lively too, yohoho!"

"Now! Who wants some cake?" I ask, because naturally I brought along Brook's birthday cake with me.

However, our merriment is cut short with the arrival of the police, led by some hulking man wearing a spotted hat that has ears on it. I briefly see Smoker and Tashigi too and I wave to them enthusiastically as my friends gather their things in the blink of an eye and Franky picks me up and we're rushing out the door, past the police and what looks like a couple people from animal control. We laugh as we run through the haunted maze that is Thriller Bark, everything seeming especially corny now that we've already seen it, and I think these are the best people I could have ever hoped to have become friends with because it's certainly never boring.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Woo-hoo Thriller Bark is here and done. I love this arc so much, and you can tear Gay Icon Victoria Cindry from my cold dead hands ok. So so so, my lovely helper Tetsik has a pretty neat idea: we're thinking of maybe setting up a Discord for this story for those readers that are interested? I've never used it before, but Tetsik tells me it would be a cool way to interact with you guys (since FF comment and reply system is kinda poop) and also share art and things like that. Lemme know if you guys would want one and we'll work on getting it set up? I'm thinkin...mmmm at least 7 people need to show interest, so please tell me!**

 **Anyway, thanks for reading!**

 **-jj**


	76. Chapter 70: In Which There Is A New Dog

**Author's Corner: Hey-a! Sorry this chapter is a little late, I told myself I'd get it done and writing just...wasn't...happening. Sooo, I don't have much to say here, but about the Discord thing I mentioned last chapter? I'm still waiting to hear from you guys on whether anyone'd be interested...I'd like to know soon please! Again, it would make communicating a lot easier and help me know what you guys would like to see in the story, because I've fallen behind on answering your comments, and I don't really answer Guest reviews anymore, which I feel super bad about T^T**

 **Thanks for reading as always, and I hope you guys are enjoying the updates!**

 **-jj**

* * *

 **4 April/Monday/8:00 am**

I'm almost at the bottom of the stairs this morning, ready to get my morning tea with Chou Chou patiently walking down with me, pausing every couple or steps or so and looking back at me until I catch up, when I hear the door slam open.

"Yo, May!" that sounds like Ace calling through the coffeeshop, "You up yet?"

"On the stairs, just a mo!" I yell back and hear something thudding rapidly through my home before something big and furry bursts through the kitchen door and bolts straight for the stairs.

Chou Chou jumps to attention and starts barking, but there's probably very few things that could stop the giant of a dog running right at me.

"Cerberus!" I cry in delight as the huge dog dives straight into my lap and starts licking at my face and any part of me she can reach. She's missing the two other heads she had last night and is looking a lot cleaner too, but she's still easy to recognize.

"Haha, Robin wasn't kidding when she said this girl liked you. But I guess that's not too unusual for May," Ace says as he steps through the kitchen door as well and walks up to join us on the bottom stairs, picking up Chou Chou in his arms and rubbing his head.

"Ace! Why is Cerberus here? Why do you have her?" I ask.

"Long story," he says, taking a seat next to me, "So, y'now that place you guys were at yesterday? Thriller Bark?"

"Yeah, the cops came and we had to leave."

"Yeah. About that: I guess someone who was there yesterday called them in. They saw that the whole fight going down between you guys and the workers there was for real and contacted the police, who showed up to take control of the situation, but it turns out there was some real skeevy shit going on in that place: animal experimentation, forced human labor through some kind of hypnotism, and also there was a known sexual predator that's been evading the law was working there."

"Wow," is all I can say.

"Uh-huh," Ace agrees, then carries on, "Anywho, so that one loli-chick, what's-her-face-,"

"Perona? Is she ok?"

"Yeah, yeah. So, I guess she has a big connection with Mihawk, who's kinda like a pretty big deal in the government. He got word that the police were coming and he let her know so she could get the hell out. Nami caught her on her way out, and learned what was going on."

"What? She didn't tell me that," I blink, patting Cerberus' head.

"Huh, that's funny, she told me she did. You must've not been paying attention. Back to the story: so she knows the fuzz are on their way, and it's Robin that gets the idea to call Pops since that place's dirty secrets are about to get aired out. We sent some people to retrieve the animals, and Robin mentioned that this one had taken a shine to you. So," he says with a wide grin, "Would you like her?"

I gasp.

"Yes!"

"Cool," he says, "She'll be a lot more of a responsibility than Chou Chou, mind. She's definitely some kinda mutt, the best we could guess was a Great Dane-Borzoi mix of some sort, so that means lots of exercise and possibly being house-trained if she isn't already. I can help out since you're so busy with the café all the time."

"She's wonderful," I sigh, wrapping my arms as best I can around the large dog's neck and burying my face in her fur.

* * *

 **10:15 am**

The bell rings out cheerfully a couple minutes after Ace has taken Cerberus out for a walk to get her familiar with the surrounding area and also see how well she's been trained. In walks Hancock, looking just as intimidatingly beautiful as ever.

"Is Luffy here?" she asks without greeting.

So of course, I ignore her. What? Manners are important and some people need to learn that, even if they are my friends. I keep idly filling in numbers in my puzzle and pat Chou Chou's head while waiting for my twentieth cup of tea to brew. He was pretty rattled by Cerberus this morning, so he's been silently keeping close to me.

Hancock takes all of three seconds of my silent treatment before her high-heeled pumps are smashing clear through the counter. I move my puzzle and Chou Chou out of the way just in time.

"Don't ignore me!"

"Oh hey, Hancock," I smile at her, holding my white dog protectively away from her, "Didn't see you there. I'm doing just spiffy, thanks. I got a new pet this morning!"

"I don't care about your insignificant life," she huffs, "Where's Luffy?"

"Well, I don't think I feel much like answering that until you ask nicely," I huff.

She grits her teeth, but then schools her expression, leans over the counter and undoes one of her shirt buttons while adopting a charming smile.

"Fine then," she purrs and runs a sharp nail softly down my cheek, "Won't you please tell me where he is?"

"Uh, Hancock, what are you doing," I say, feeling thoroughly weirded out right now.

"You know," she says, still touching my face and yeah, that's super creepy, "Now, answer my question."

"Um, no I actually don't know," I tell her, "And this is kinda awkward, so could you please stop."

"What?" her smile slips into shocked outrage, "Do you know how many men and women would die to have me fawning over them like this? Why aren't you submitting to me? Aren't you petrified with desire?"

"Ahhh...no?" I say, so confused right now, "I mean, I guess you're pretty, like I can see that, but why would that make me automatically want you?"

"Because everyone does," she states haughtily.

"If you say so," I don't bother to hide my skepticism, "I don't think of you that way though. You're more like a cherished friend."

Hancock looks stunned with disbelief for a moment, but recovers herself quickly with a flip of her long silky hair.

"What a joke!" she scoffs and suddenly hops onto the counters, crossing her legs slowly so that they fall out of the slit that runs up the side of her dress and leans towards me again, "You can't possibly be unmoved by my incredible beauty. You're saying you don't want me?"

"I'm good, thanks," I hold up one hand in refusal, and she looks thunderstruck.

"No human has ever been able to resist my sex appeal besides Luffy! I thought he was the only one..."

"Oh! Yeah, neither of us is interested in that. Uhh, there's a special word for it...er, I think it has something to do with Ace...oh yeah! Asexual, that's it. It happens, so yeah. I don't like you like that. But," I hold out my arms with a smile, "I'm totally down for some platonic hugs. Those are cool."

"I don't want your hugs," she says stiffly.

"Aw, c'mon, everyone likes a May hug. Except for those that don't. Aghh, whatever, c'mere!"

Before she can escape, I pull her into a tight hug and giggle a bit when she finally returns it. I think she must be warming up slowly but surely. Like I said, everyone eventually does.

"By the way, I have no idea where Luffy is."

"Why didn't you say so in the first place?!"

"Shhh, just enjoy the hug, Hancock."

* * *

 **3:00 pm**

Law comes in accompanied by Bepo (who is now taller than Law's waist and so, very, desperately clearly _not_ a dog anymore) ((as if he was to begin with)) trotting alongside him on a leash. Ace is on the coffeeshop's couch with me, teaching Cerberus how to sit, lie down, and play dead while I read.

"Law-san, I don't know if you just can't see or not, but Bepo really does not pass as a dog anymore," I tell him directly.

"You must be blind, because he's a dog," he insists coolly and you know what, it's not my problem so I'm just going to stop worrying about it so I simply shrug and start to get him some coffee.

Interested in the newcomers, Cerberus hops up and places her front paws on the couch to see what's going on. When she stands up like this, she is easily as tall as me, and I see Law jump ever so slightly.

"What the hell is that?" he asks flatly.

"Are you blind? She's a dog," I throw his words back at him and stick my tongue out playfully as Ace stands up as well and waves at Law.

"Yeah, but she's _actually_ dog," Ace adds on.

"So is Bepo."

"Let's agree to disagree."

"Alright, I've had enough exposure to you people today," Law says as he takes his coffee, "Goodbye."

"You can't escape forever, Torao!" Ace calls after his retreating back, and he's answered with the closing door and ringing bell, "Hmph! Rude. Why're we friends with that guy again, May?"

"It's okay, he'll be back," I say confidently.

"What makes you so sure?"

"He needs the coffee."

"Oh."

Then he shrugs.

"I've made friends out of less."

We both get distracted by the bell ringing again as a...unique character steps into the café. It's a man wearing an outfit that could easily be described as either 'high fashion' or 'thift store fashion disaster': a heart-patterned button-up shirt with some feathery monstrosity of a coat thrown over it accompanied by a beanie with hearts dangling from strings, the guy looks around shiftily, pushing his sunglasses up to his forehead. Me and Ace watch as he makes his way up to the counter, briefly tripping over Quintin's leg before he catches himself and stands safely before us.

"Hello! Sorry, but we're not open today," I tell him, not particularly wanting him in my shop with the potential shady-vibes he gives off.

"Ahem, yes," he starts, trying to lean casually on the counter. He misplaces his hand and staggers sideways before he gains his balance. "Right, the guy that was just in here, the one with the bear-,"

"Bear? What bear?" I ask, "That was a dog."

"...Right, dog, whatever," he says, "Do either of you know him well?"

"Maybe," Ace says levelly, "Who are you?"

"Well, I'm his father."

Ace and I both stare at each other in shock and then turn excitedly to the man and exclaim together:

"Papa!"

He looks startled to say the least.

"Papa?!"

* * *

 **3:30 pm**

"Ohhh, I see! Haha, you two really had me worried for a moment, I thought Law had gone behind my back and didn't even tell me he was getting married!" Rosinante-san laughs as I pour him some tea.

After some things were explained and everyone calmed down, we got to know a bit about Law's adopted father, Rosinante. He lives here in Grand Line as well, and so did Law before he went off to medical school before coming back this year. He's an extremely tall person and quite clumsy.

And we know where Law got his fashion sense from now.

"Your son is a very attractive man, Rosinante-san, but he can be so cold to us," Ace informs him, "I don't think I'd marry him. May?"

"Nah."

"I understand completely," Law's father sighs mournfully, "He hardly keeps in contact with me even though we live in the same city again! He's been so secretive these past couple months, and I worry, you know? I thought I raised him better than this. So, I finally decided to trail after him to see how he's doing, and I can see he's been making friends which is such a relief."

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Rosinante-san!"

"Please, call me Cora-san."

"Hey, smile you two," Ace says as he holds up his phone to take a picture of the three of us.

"Whatcha doing?"" I ask, smiling and giving the camera a little wave.

"Sending this to Law."

I lean over on Ace's shoulder as he send the picture to Law along with the message _'Just met ur dad, he's cool. Don't know where we went wrong with raising you.'_

"Nice," I giggle, "Send that to me, too."

We chat with Cora-san a bit more and hardly minutes pass before the door of the coffeeshop is slamming open and Law comes rushing in, followed by Bepo.

"Cora-san!" he yells in shock, "Why are you here?"

"Law!" he stands up and adopts a stern expression, "Why didn't you tell me you had such good friends? I'm very disappointed that you didn't introduce me to these lovely friends of yours earlier. They're so nice, and they've told me that you've been treating them poorly!"

For the first time since I've known him, Law actually looks abashed or something close to it, but he quickly shoots me and Ace a glare. We both smile and give him little wiggly finger waves.

"Ignore anything these two say," he says brusquely, and tries to start corralling is father out the door, "Were you following me around?"

"It's not my fault, you never talk to me!" Cora-san all but whines, digging in his feet and resisting being pushed, "I want to at least know that you're doing okay, it couldn't hurt to call once in a while."

"We can talk right now as long as it's not _here_."

"Come back again, Cora-san!" I call as he's dragged out the door, "I have lots of pictures of Law that I think you'll definitely want to see!"

I dodge a scalpel aimed right at me as the door closes. It buries itself into the counter and I laugh.

"He kinda reminds me of E," I say, getting up and trying to balance our empty tea cups and crutches at the same time to bring them to the kitchen, stepping around a dozing Cerberus and Chou Chou.

"Really? That means he's probably a good guy," Ace says, helping me by taking the cups, "Wonder how Law turned out to be an Edge Master with a dad like that."

"Extended teenage goth rebellion?" I guess.

"Haha, possibly."


	77. Chapter 71: In Which A Cake Survives

**April 6/Wednesday/7:30 am**

I hold my breath as I carefully, so carefully as if I'm conducting a precision surgery, place the final piece on top of the grand cake. The whale figure covered with fondant is ever so gently placed on the five tier cake that is frosted to look like ocean waves and has a fondant banner wrapped around it reading ' _Happy 74_ _th_ _Birthday'._

I remove my hands and let them hover over the cake, just in case it decides to fall over.

It stays.

After a breathless moment, my friends crowding the kitchen erupt into cheers. Sanji shakes Marco's hand vigorously with tears in his eyes, Thatch sobs happily into Jozu's shoulder, and Ace pops a bottle of champagne. The cork flies right into my stomach and nearly tips me off balance and into the cake we _just_ finished, but Izo catches me in time, thank god.

" _Ow,_ " I say pointedly.

"Sorry," he says sheepishly and hands me a glass, "Drink up, May, you did a spectacular job!"

"It must be one of your finest cakes yet!" Haruta says, pulling out more fluted glasses from one of my cabinets.

"Someone put it in a fridge before it's ruined," frets Vista, "Don't want all that hard work to go to waste.

It _is_ a pretty good cake, and of course it has to be! Today is Whitebeard's 74th birthday which is a monumental occasion (just ask Cherie!), so naturally the cake for the occasion needs to be simply fantastic. And with the help of Thatch and Sanji, it's just that.

"All that's left is getting it to the party tonight," I say brightly as Izo helps me down from the stepladder I was using to complete the cake, "In one piece, ideally."

"You don't have to worry about that," Rakuyo waves his hand dismissively, "What's the worst that could- _hrrk!_ ,"

He does not get to finish his sentence because several people around him have clapped hands over his mouth to keep him from saying the dreaded words. Thatch has gone the extra mile and tackled his brother.

"Fool! Don't jinx it!" Thatch hisses, "Do you know how hard it is to safely transport a cake?!"

"Sorry!"

"Well, the important thing is that it's done," I say with forced cheer, "We can worry about the rest later."

That's all it takes for my friends to regain the celebratory mood and more drinks are passed around (yes, at 7:30 in the morning). I get many handshakes and pats on the back from everyone and all in all, it feels remarkably like I've just received the Noland Peace Prize or something of the like.

I'm looking forward to tonight!

* * *

 **11:15 am**

" _Grand Line from bottom to top is up, The keeper in the shop is up, Mop is up, Oh what a lovely morning~!"_ I sing as I do my best to hop around the kitchen with my mop; after all, I've got to keep up on Spring cleaning! " _Trafalgar Law, the bobby's up, In St. Poplar, the nippy's up, In Little Garden, the kippy's up, We's up and we've got to be jolly clean~"_

I reach the doorway to the front of the coffeeshop and prop a hand on my hip to review my work with a satisfied sigh. The kitchen gives of a clean sparkle, and some birds that have flown in from the open doors flutter around, making it feel like I'm in some kind of Doskoi Princess movie.

Minus, y'know, the fact that I sing like a dolphin that has a kazoo lodged permanently in its throat.

Sabo and Luffy stopped by for breakfast and to take Cerberus out on a walk, but Chou Chou stayed behind since he's more of an indoor dog.

"Isn't that right, Chou Chou?" I ask the little dog that sits by my feet as I pick him up and kiss his lil' floppy ears, "You'd rather sit at home like me. But Cerberus needs her exercise because she has more energy than the rest of us."

He puts one of his small paws on my cheek, much like a cat would, to keep me from making kissy faces at him and I laugh and let him go. The bell out front rings and in step Kalifa and Lucci.

"Hello!" I wave enthusiastically at them and hobble over to the counter, "What brings you two here on this fine Spring morning?"

"Repairs," Kalifa grunts, pointing to the broken counter where Hancock's heel smashed through; now that they've been exposed as previously-spies for the government and they don't have to keep up appearances, Kalifa has turned out to be even more to the point than she was before.

She curiously eyes the damage that has a tiny hole in the epicenter where the heel poked through and I see some interest spark in her eyes as she runs a hand over the wood.

"Was this done by an Amazon Lily Simply Nude Platform Pump?" she asks.

"Uhhhhhh...," I stare at her in amazement, "You can tell what kind of shoe made that dent?"

"Of course," she sniffs, "They're very good shoes. I've kicked enough things (and people) in them to know what kinds of marks they leave and they're by far my favorite of their line. Very sensible."

"Amazon Lily Simply Nude Platform Pumps are alright," Hattori's chirpy voice pipes up, "But they're Mary Jane Wedges are better."

"Wow," I marvel, electing to ignore that Kalifa's last statement to focus on her recognition skills, "I don't know shoe brands, but Hancock _was_ wearing some kind of tan heels, so I would assume they're from Amazon Lily."

"You know the director, Boa Hancock?" she asks, awed.

"Yup! She's a passionate lady. Hence the hole in my counter. But it's good, 'cause we're friends. And that's what my friends do," I finish with a smile.

"You have shitty friends," she snorts.

I lay my hand on her shoulder seriously and earnestly.

"You shouldn't say that about yourself," I tell her and she splutters something about not being friends, but I'm not listening as I pull out my puzzle book to work on and wave them to do their thing, "Thanks for your work~! It's much appreciated as usual."

I blissfully ignore the rest of what Kalifa says as she and Lucci fix my counter and everything else that needs fixing as I focus on the numbers and ruffle Hattori's feathers every so often, until they pack up and leave with cups of coffee with extremely poor stick drawings of the three of us as friends with lots of smiley faces and flowers (drawn by yours truly) for their troubles.

* * *

 **3:10 pm**

The bell twinkles merrily in the afternoon during a lull between customers while I'm nearly nodding off at the counter. It's a perfectly warm Spring day, simply ideal for taking a nap right about now, but I sit up and shake myself out of the stupor to see Franky and Robin coming in.

"Hello~!" I call over, setting aside my half-filled Sudoku and smiling sleepily.

"May, hiya, hiya!" Franky says, "Look we'e got something important to ask you. Sorry if it's short notice, but this whole thing has been like that."

"May," Robin says seriously, and she takes hold of my hands across the counter, Franky putting a hand over both of ours as well, "Would you make our wedding cake?"

I stand there, stunned for a moment before breaking out happily.

"Of course I will, what kind of question is that! Oh shoot, I don't have any samplers ready for you to try–did you decide on the colors yet?–is there an overall theme?–where will the ceremony and reception be-?"

Robin shushes me gently with a finger over my mouth and waits for me to calm down and start breathing properly before she speaks again.

"Since we've already had the delight of sampling many of your cakes in the past, we've decided that your vanilla-cinnamon cake would be perfect, with coffee icing."

"These are the colors we decided on," Franky says enthusiastically, pulling out a few paint chips of soft teals and lavenders with darker shades thrown in, "And there's not really a theme, but if it helps, the flowers that are going to be the main feature are hibiscus."

"Okay," I say slowly as I pull out a piece of paper under the counter and jot down notes, a rough picture slowly forming in my mind, "I think I have something good.

"Superrrrr!" Franky says, "You're the best, May!"

"Also, we need to get you a bridesmaids dress," Robin speculates, "Nami and Makino can get some time on Friday afternoon. Can you close up early that day?"

"You want me to be a bridesmaid?" I gasp and clutch my cheeks softly, "Really?"

"Wouldn't want anyone else," she smiles warmly, and that's it, that's all my emotional restraint can take.

"You guys!" I break into happy tears, "I love you two so much, I can't believe this is actually happening! I'm going to make you the bestest cake ever."

I can't really say much after that as I devolve into passionate sobs and blubbers and they both come around the counter to give me a comforting hug. Franky starts crying to, of course, and I think I even see that Robin's eyes are slightly wet.

* * *

 **6:00 pm**

"Okay," I take a deep breath, "Let's not fuck this up."

A team comprised of Jozu, Namur, and Thatch heft the cake with extreme caution to the waiting van, taking agonizingly slow steps as the cake wobbles worryingly. It makes it to the vehicle safely and is loaded into the back without a hitch.

"Alright! First phase completed," I cheer, "Let's roll out!"

The four of us hop into the car (me getting some assistance with Jozu on this) and Thatch turns the keys and begins slowly, slowly, slowly driving. Just like this, going at least 30 under the speed limit with Jozu and Namur in the back to steady the cake, we make our way to Pops' house.

Nearly forty five minutes later, as soon as he parks in the driveway, the tension that had been hanging over the car like an impending meteorite breaks and we all exhale. Thatch shakes out his fingers that had been clutching the wheel in a death grip.

"Was anyone else's butts clenched so hard for that entire ride?" I ask, to which all three of them respond "Yes".

"Let's get this sucker inside!" Namur says, hopping out of the back.

Of course, as we step inside we see that the party is already thriving, as it tends to happen when any of my friends are involved. Jozu acts as a sort of shield between the already-tipsy people and the cake and pushes his way through so that the magnificent cake has a path to the table, and I take up the rear, hobbling along on my crutches.

Twenty steps from the table, now ten.

Seven steps from the table and five steps from safety and after that I don't care what happens to the cake.

Five steps and one of my crutches catches on a loose strand of confetti that's lying on the floor and I go reeling forward, right into Thatch. Like some horrible slow-motion video, he trips as well and the force of his fall sends the cake flying forward. Namur makes a gallant leap and slide to catch it but only ends up smashing into Jozu and bringing him down as well. I swear I can see a little tear in the whale toppers eye as it sees its impending doom after such a short life-

And then, just before it topples completely over onto the floor, Oyaji snags it out of the air and rights the cake, saving it from a messy demise.

The room absolutely breaks into a riot of wild shouts and applause and Whitebeard bows deeply, holding the heavy cake with just one hand before setting it on the table, unharmed and whole.

"Who wants some cake?" he laughs vigorously, voice booming over all the noise and is answered with even more cheers.

Cherie quickly places some candles on the tiers, lighting them, and then raising her hand like a conductor to lead us all in song. I almost break into tears in the middle, so happy at completing the mission successfully, and Pops guffaws and lifts me into a great bear hug and blows out the candles with one breath.

"What did you wish for, Oyaji?"

"That my children will finally give me some grandkids! I'm an old man, it's about time, don't you think, brats?"

When many of the party groans and protests loudly, he just laughs fondly and cuts the first slice of cake. What a start to the party!

* * *

 **9:45 pm**

"Be careful."

"I'm being careful."

"Be _more_ careful."

"I _am_ careful."

"BE CAREFUL!"

"SHUT _UP_ , I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE HERE!" Thatch yells as he tears a wooden block from the Jenga tower and brings it clattering down to the table in a shower of blocks.

"OOHHHHHH Thatch crashed!" the people gathered around the gripping game of Jenga yell, jostling his shoulder and laughing.

The party has progressed to the silly games and competitions portion of the night, and a couple of us including Oyaji have joined in for the rousing game of Jenga. So far, Pops is winning. Although, I'm not entirely sure how the point system works with at least ten people playing since I only know the rules to be 'don't knock it over', but Marco's keeping score so I trust his judgement.

All I know is that Jenga gets more interesting the more drunk the players are.

Thatch spins around and tries to locate the person that distracted him and ultimately made him lose, but there's quite the crowd of onlookers, so he settles for tackling the nearest person. From their, the party loses interest in our game and starts up a betting pool for the fight.

"Gurarara, another good birthday!" Whitebeard laughs, watching what is very likely going to end in the destruction of his home with good humor and a large drink in hand, "It gives me such joy to see my family thriving and boisterous."

I smile and sip at my own drink, thinking that when I'm 74, this wouldn't be a bad way to spend a birthday, surrounded by so many people I love.

I splutter as someone is thrown into me and my drink splashes over my face, making me choke on it and splutter. Well, hopefully it won't be quite as rowdy on my 74th birthday, but we'll see, we'll see.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Sooo, if you know what the song May sings in this chapter is from, you are officially the coolest and I like you! I'm so sorry for the late chapter guys, I'm really trying to keep on top of things, but I told myself I would work on this chapter when I got home on Wednesday, and I ended up getting home past one in the morning, proceeded to sleep until one in the afternoon the next day, and then procrastinated on writing and screwed myself over. I have no one but me to blame and Tetsik is probably kicking themselves in the teeth for agreeing to keep me on top of chapters. *nervous laughter* You're the best, Tet, I'm sorry I'm such a potato**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **-jj**


	78. Chapter 71-5: AU Within An AU-3

**The AU Within An AU: Boarding School**

* * *

A set of iron gates leads onto grounds that hold many bleak, stark, and soulless-looking buildings. To many of its residents, it's known as 'The Prison'. Some know it as 'Purgatory', 'Straight Up Hell', and still others 'Dear God I Would Prefer To Run Out Into The Street And Get Hit By A Car Than Stay Here One More Second'.

But to all who have the misfortune of ever stepping through the iron gates that close behind them with a ringing finality promising years of life-draining rigidity and rules, it is known as Impel Down Boarding School.

There are of course rumors about it. Everyone has heard at least one. And although some of the teachers like to pretend otherwise, everyone knows: Impel Down is the place for problem children, the kids that had the option between juvenile delinquency or coming here, or were simply sent there by parents that didn't want to deal with 'straightening them out.'

Impel Down Boarding School is co-ed. The boys and girls have separate dormitories and are strictly forbidden from entering the other's (except for the fabled 'Newkama Dormitory' where boys and girls and everything in between live together, that only a few students ever claim to have seen when they were half-asleep and coming back from some manner of tom-foolery in the early hours of morning, and no one is really sure if it exists or if it's just myth).

Does this stop them from sneaking out and visiting the other dorms?

 _Hell_ no.

Over many years, it has become a competition to see who can get to the other dorm in the most bold and daring way and not be caught. On this particular night, it is the girls' turn to go to the boys' dormitories.

"Alright. Ready?" the orange-haired girl asks her friend.

"As I'll ever be. They're waiting for us, so let's go."

The two girls climb out of their shared bedroom window, leaving vaguely humanoid shaped piles of blankets and pillows on their beds should one of the mistresses come checking that they're in for curfew. An elementary trick, really. One of the basics for any of the students at Impel Down.

They scale down the side of the dorm walls, waving to some of their friends that are still awake as they climb past their windows, who all giggle and wave back, knowing exactly what they're up to. They stop briefly by Robin and Koala's room to pick them up, next Vivi's who rooms by herself, and then the five of them climb all the way up to the roof.

"Do we have enough rope?" Koala whispers in the dark as May and Nami start unloading the heavy rope they had been carrying from their shoulders to lay out on the roof.

"Should," Nami replies in a hushed voice, "Nicked it from the drama room, we'll have to put it back tomorrow before anyone knows it's gone."

"Do the boys know the time?" asks Vivi, a hint of worry in her voice; she is a newer student and this is her first time sneaking out, so it's understandable, but this is old hat to the other three.

May puts a hand on her forehead as if she's shadowing her eyes (even though it's the middle of the night) and squints to the roof of the adjacent building: the boys' dorms. There! A shadowy figure steps into view on the roof and she sees the tiniest flicker of a flame that's hopefully coming from Sabo's lighter. One, two, three times it clicks on and off and then stays on the third time, meaning that's the signal for them to go ahead.

"Ok. It's all you, May," Nami says, passing May a phonebook that has one end of the rope tied securely around it and tying the other end to the rail that runs around the roof, "Let's hope it makes it."

She grips the phonebook, weighing it in her hand, and focuses on that little spark of light, tongue poking out between her lips in concentration. Then, she breathes out a single, steady breath, and throws the book across the gap. All four of them wait, holding their breath as they watch the shadow on the other roof. They suddenly jolt and hold up the book victoriously, the rope pulling taut between the two buildings. May and Nami cheer quietly, jumping up and down while hugging each other to celebrate the success.

But, the easy part is done. Now they have to get there.

"Alright, ladies," Koala is the first one to step up to the rope, pulling on it to test it, "Hope you're all wearing underwear. And remember, don't look down."

And one by one, they traverse the rope until at last, all of them stand on the other roof.

"Sharp throwing, May!" Sabo laughs as he takes her hand and helps her the rest of the way onto the roof, "We've got a good night ahead of us: Kidd, the crazy bastard, somehow snuck some booze in, Sanji got his hands on five tubs of ice cream, and Law has Cards Against Fishmanity."

"God damn, sorry I don't have any juice or anything for drinks. Housemother Sadi did a random sweep and found one of my food stashes and they got taken.," Nami says resentfully, and they all nodded sympathetically; there was a constant and vicious war between the students and housemonitors over contraband food and secret stashes.

"Aw, dang. Well, no worries, Franky's got mixers. We'll manage!"

"Splendid," May grins, "Let's get started!"

* * *

"Ahem. _Miss Lily,"_ some one says sternly behind her.

She pauses and turns around with a sunny smile although she already knows who has called her out and knows nothing good can come from any encounter with them.

"Yes, Akainu-sensei?" she asks pleasantly.

"Miss May, you are breaking uniform _again_ _._ I have no idea where you keep getting these ratty sweaters since I alone have confiscated at least a two dozen from you, but you have persisted in wearing them. Every. Single. Day. Since your enrollment. Will you be taking a demerit again today?" the most infamously hardass and stickler-for-the-rules teacher in the entire school snarls.

"Guess I'll take the demerit, sir," she beams, unfazed.

He practically growls as he pulls out a stack of tickets, fills one out and tears it from the book, while her friends watch from the sidelines and giggle behind their hands, because this is a scene that has replayed every single day for the past two years usually with little variation, and really, who doesn't want the chance to watch someone get under Akainu's skin? He all but slaps the demerit into her face and then whirls to face the onlookers.

"What are you all gaping at? No loitering in the halls," he barks and then takes his leave, sweeping down the halls, beady eyes swiveling left and right like lasers to catch any misdemeanors to hand out more slips for.

"Man," Ace drawls the word out in a long sigh, "You think Bakainu would've given up by now. It's been _two_ years."

"He _is_ called the Tenacious Red Dog for a reason," Nami says sagely.

"I'm just glad the teachers stopped taking my cardigans," says May, falling back in step with her friends, "I was starting to run out."

"I think you won when you showed up the 50th day in a row still wearing them after they kept confiscating them," Robin chuckles.

"Bakainu is just butt hurt since it's your last year probably," says Zoro.

There are a couple teachers like Mr. Akainu all of the students learned to avoid as best they can. Those are the teachers that police the halls like prison wardens out for blood, that hand out demerits left and right, that seem intent to make life as miserable for the students as possible. At this point, it's generally accepted that those teachers were inherently dicks and there's nothing that can be done.

(Does this stop the students from going out of their way to target these teachers the most often for pranks though? Abso-fucking-lutely not.)

Some other teacher though, they're alright. These are the ones that let the little things go, that only laugh and shoo away couples they walk in on sucking face in a closed off hideaway, that might look the other way if they see students setting up buckets of water (or other things) over doorways for their colleagues to walk under. Akagami-sensei (usually just called Shanks by the students) was one of them. No one really knew how the scruffy, cheerfully lackadaisical man landed the position teaching history, but no one wanted to question it, taking their blessings where they could.

The prefects are also divided similarly in their punitive styles as the teachers. Seven of them, known as CP9 (which Ace swears up and down is short for 'ICUP' but they didn't want it to be obvious and combined the I and C and put it on the end as a 9 to make it sound cool; this is, surprisingly, one of the most believable explanations of their name because no one actually knows what it stands for) were the rule abiders, while the other half known colloquially as the Shichibukai, were just in it for the powers it granted.

It's just May's luck that it's one of the CP9 that steps up behind her friends and calls out.

"Ms. Lily."

Almost as if it was practiced, she nudges Ace to kneel on the ground as she turns and also grabs Nami so that when she faces Lucci the prefect (an especially tenacious one) she props her leg up on Ace's knee and leans an arm on Robin's shoulder with a charming smile while Luffy, Usopp, and Nami pose in the background. Because they also happen to enjoy getting under CP9's skin and that usually works best, they've found, by being utterly ridiculous.

"Yes, how can I help you?" she asks.

"Demerit for uniform," Lucci says evenly.

"Already got one today, thanks," she waves the little slip for him to see.

"Another, then."

"Superb," she says with a smile, takes the ticket, and the prefect stalks away.

She immediately hands the slip to Ace, who flicks out his lighter and promptly burns it, and the group once again starts for their next class.

"Some people, man," she sighs.

* * *

"Alright, team," Coach Whitebeard booms in the locker rooms as he paces back and forth, "You all know that you're facing G-1 Academy today: we have not won a single game against them in seven years now, and that, quite frankly, is humiliating since they whole lot of 'em are spoon fed rich babies. I know that you may feel intimidated. It's understandable."

He pauses and thumps his chest soundly.

"But you know what?" he roars, "We've got the home and we've got the best team here that I've seen in several decades and a whole lot more guts and fire than those goody-two-shoes will ever have! We've got the sharpest quarterback, the fastest runners, the heaviest muscle, the tightest defense, and sturdiest offense, and if you keep your heads tonight, we will crush our undefeated rivals to the ground!"

His speech is met with a thunderous cheer from the players, feeling pumped to take on this game. They make their way to the stadium where the crowd is already cheering, encouraged by the band and cheer leaders. Each of the players spanks the butt of a bronze statue on the way. He was the school founder or some person that no one cares about, but it _is_ a time-honored school tradition to slap its rear when going into a competition or game. The bronze looks especially shiny and polished on its ass where generations of hands have smoothed it.

The game is neck and neck and an unrelenting battle between the two teams to score. With number 10 as the quarterback, 01 scoring touchdowns and 55 able to keep the opposing team at bay, they keep their heads above water right down to the final minute. The ending seconds are approaching 47 to 43, and they are still so far from the goal and the enemy is closing in fast. But, as the clock hits the ten second mark, the ball suddenly shoots out like a cannonball over the field, directly into the waiting arms of 01 and with the last seconds, he gets a touchdown as the clock reaches zero.

The crowd in the stands riots and spills onto the field as the Impel Down students tackle number 10 into the ground in a celebratory dog pile only to pick them up, and then 01 as well when they run back to join the group, yelling excitedly. Coach Whitebeard charges at them and starts hugging anyone he can get his hands on, sobbing in joy.

" _Oh my god, that was brilliant!"_  
 _"You just beat G-1!"  
"That was a friggin' amazing throw!"_

Number 10 struggles to take off their helmet as they're bounced victoriously on the shoulders of their teammates and finally manages to slip it off to reveal a huge smile. A long ponytail falls out and May points victoriously at Ace who was also hoisted up on their shoulders, his proud Number 1 on his chest, since he probably can't hear her over the roar of the crowd. Luffy, Number 55, is probably the loudest of all though, slapping at their shins and yelling excitably.

For the first time in seven years, they had beaten their rival and victory had never been more sweet.

* * *

"So, this is it?"

Four figures stand on the roof in the moonlight. It's May's, Ace's, Law's, and Kidd's final year at the boarding school, and like every other senior, they have a last hurrah planned. Somehow (probably through very legally questionable means) they had gotten their hands on some fireworks and were prepared to set them off over the school.

Ace pops a bottle of sparkling apple cider he had snuck in for the occasion and pours each of them a solo cup.

"I feel like this sort of thing needs some spoken words," May says, clinking cups with the three of the guys, "Anyone have some thoughts they want to get off their chest?"

"Good fucking riddance to this place," Kidd says, "Done and amen."

"Alright! To our senior year!" Ace pulls out his lighter and holds it ready over one of the fireworks as May pulls out the one she borrowed from Sabo and the other two pull out theirs.

"To every cardigan I lost to confiscation!" she says, "And every demerit I got since!"

"To every Adderall high I've ever had during my time at this hellish school," Kidd scoffs.

"To every couple I have never, ever wanted to see getting it on in random places because they were forced to be exhibitionists by the abysmal lack of privacy here!" Ace says brightly.

"To resisting the deep structure socialization that's inherent in this type of total institution that leads to narcissistic elitism, hypercompetitiveness, bullshit gender stratification, and social detachment and turning out, despite the odds, as somewhat decent friends," Law intones and they all look at him.

"...What he said!" Ace cheers after a moment and lights his first fuse.

"Just decent friends?" asks May as the fuses begin to burn, " _Years_ we've known each other, and we're just 'decent friends'?"

"Careful Law, you're having trouble showing emotional sensitivity," Ace teases, "I think boarding school might've had a negative effect on you."

" _That's_ nothing new," he snorts, "Finish lighting and let's get off the fucking roof."

They start all the fireworks and dash for the stairway leading to the roof to watch the show, armed with two fire extinguishers in case anything goes wrong. And boy, they were probably going to get expelled if they were caught as the perpetrators behind this, but it was oh-so worth it as the first colors exploded across the sky accompanied by thunderous booms, waking everyone on site and causing chaos.

* * *

 **Author's Corner: Hey-a! Well, here's the AU for April! Don't have much to say here except that May, Luffy, and Ace playing football (the American kind) was totally inspired by the recent One Piece color page!**

 **Thank for reading and lemme know how you liked this AU and what AU's you want to see in the future!**

 **-jj**


	79. Chapter 72: In Which Skanda Is Removed

**Author's Corner: So! I'm a gosh darn fool and I made a huge mistake with the days of the past few chapters! I went back and made some changes (not huge, but just corrections, so I guess you don't need to rly go back and read...but it might help) and also I just uploaded three new chapters since I missed my updates (because honestly, it wouldn't be CotC without terrible and spotchy updates) so make sure to go read them!**

 **Thank you for reading as always! I'll be trying to write more chapters now to keep up *~*)9 Fight on!**

 **-jj**

 **PS! My lovely helper Tetsik has set up a Discord for COTC so that you (the reader) and me can interact! If you PM I'll give you the thing to get to it**

 **PPS: Mature-ish warning for later in the chapter? They go to a strip club idk what to tell you, but nothing explicit. Like, absolutely nothing is described. They're just there**

* * *

 **9 April/Saturday/6:00 am**

Cerberus is sprawled out on her back in front of the ovens like a multi-limbed candy cane, soaking up the heat they radiate as I shuffle about the kitchen, getting ready for the day. I had a lovely time with Robin, Makino, and Nami yesterday, finding bridesmaid dresses for the three of us, some simple but elegant gowns of the same design: purple for me, blue for Makino, and teal for Nami. Robin already has her wedding dress, so we won't get to see it until tomorrow, and I couldn't be anticipating it any more!

I've gotten the body of their cake built, and now all that's really left is the decorating, which I plan to get the majority of done today. Poring over a rough sketch of the cake's intended design, I get distracted by a text. It's from Law.

 _'Thousand Sunny, be here at 9 am sharp. Or else.'_

And that's all.

Ignoring the text in favor of more important things, I turn back to my sketch and make a few tweaks. By the time it comes to open the shop, the message is a far away thought.

* * *

 **9:30 am**

I've just handed off a steaming cup of coffee to Mihawk and am getting ready to join him at Nester for our usual catch-up-chat when the door bursts open and Chopper comes charging in.

"May, I'm super sorry about this, but it's not my fault!" he cries as he yanks me over and picks me up and starts running out of the café.

"Chopper?! What are you doing?! I need to go back and watch the coffeeshop!"

"I know, I know, but Torao-sensei said you were neglecting an appointment and your health is very important," he says, then adds on for good measure, "Ya bastard."

"That stupid jerk," I mutter grumpily as Chopper carries me down to the hospital, the glass doors sliding open automatically, "Just. Don't let Kureha see me, Chopper, please."

"I'll try."

Ten minutes later (it took a bit longer sneaking around corners to make sure that no crazy witches were lurking about), I sit in a room and staring down Law. Er, well, he's actually staring me down because I'm sitting and the bugger's tall, but suffice to say, we are locked in a tense battle of wills.

"May-ya, stop being so difficult."

"Never," I say, kicking out my good foot to keep him at bay as he tries to advance, "As much as Skanda gets in the way, he's important to me! And you're just going to kill him?!"

"I'd be more than happy to administer an anesthetic to you to make this easier. For me, that is. Or, I can take the heaviest item in this room and knock you out with it. Which would be even easier. Again, for me," he says with false politeness, "Either way, that cast is coming off."

I eye him warily.

"You wouldn't actually knock me out like that."

"Wouldn't I though?"

I stare suspiciously at him; he holds my gaze for all of five seconds before he hoists a heavy, expensive-looking piece of medical equipment sitting nearby over his head as if he's ready to bring it down.

"Now, Law," I stutter in my sudden panic as he looms over me, a malicious glint in his eye, "Y-You wouldn't want to break something that would be costly to replace, would you?"

"Not my problem," he shrugs and advances.

"Ok! Ok! You can take Skanda off!" I squeak out desperately, very much not wanting to be pummeled by that thing that looks like it could cause some serious blood force trauma.

"Knew you'd come around eventually," he smirks and sets the machine back in its place, "Thank you for your cooperation."

"Just know that the blood of an innocent cast is on your hands today."

"I can live with that."

* * *

 **2:25 pm**

I have decided to display Hufa Weituo Zuntian Pusa (formerly known as Skanda proudly) under the window that peers into the kitchen, showing off the brave fallen warrior and also my friend's general lack of art skills. It's a bittersweet goodbye because I've grown to quite like Skanda, since he has a lot of character!

On the other hand, it's so goddamn nice to _walk_ again.

I spent the first half hour when I got back home from the hospital running up and down the stairs just because I can. Cerberus joined me excitedly for a bit and Chou Chou hopped a few times up and down the stairs before calling it quitsies, and then I collapsed on my couch for a while because I have no stamina to speak of. I've taken to propping up my now-non-Skanda-clad leg up on random surfaces _because I can_ while I idle.

Luffy crashes (as if he'd do it any other way) into the café, with his customary shouts for food. I lean my chin on my hand as I prop my leg onto the counter.

"Hey, Lu! Notice anything different?"

"Uh, you've suddenly been struck by the 'I-have-to-stick-my-leg-up-as-high-as-it-will-go' that Usopp tells me Sanji has?" he says in confusion, "Wait!"

He grabs my bare leg and looks closer at it as if to confirm that there is indeed no more cast there.

"How Skanda-less!" he says.

And of course I laugh at the pun whether it was intentional or not. I'm always a sucker for a good pun.

"Yes! I feel so free and light!"

"Just in time for tomorrow too!" he grins, "Since you're all better now can you make me lunch?"

"Sure thing, Luffy," I return his smile and head back to the kitchen where we can finally, _finally_ resume our normal routine where he hangs off my healed leg and waits for food, rattling on about the hijinks he's gotten into the past couple of days.

It feels so good to be back!

* * *

 **6:15 pm**

I close up the coffeeshop for the day and turn off the lights downstairs to get ready for an evening of nice relaxation. Maybe with a book, some candles, and a bath since I can now wash my leg after a little over a month. The candles are lit and I'm just starting the water when I hear the front bell jingle and Nami's voice float through my home.

"May? You upstairs?"

"Yeah, just drawing a bath!" I call back and I hear faint thumps of footsteps on the stairs.

"May, what are you doing?" Nami asks as she comes into the bathroom, "We've gotta go to Robin's bachelorette party, c'mon, chop chop."

"Who-now-what-now?"

"Bachelorette Party: we're going to go to a casino, get drunk, maybe go to a strip club if we get lucky at the slots, and then get even more drunk," Nami explains, "No time to lose, let's go!"

I have a terrible sinking feeling as I allow Nami to turn off the water and drag me to my room, hardly stopping to throw some clothes at me to put on before she's dragging me out the door again where a limo (chauffeured by Mr. Pell) waits with Vivi, Makino, and Robin.

"So, are we sticking with a nice dinner and then some wine, ladies?" Makino asks.

Nami laughs. It's slightly ominous.

"There's been a slight change of plans. Mr. Pell, to the Gran Tesoro Casino, if you please!"

"Uh, Nami, you didn't say anything about a casino," Vivi says, a bit nervously.

"No worries, no worries," she dismisses easily and then pulls out some sheets of paper and distributes them, "Sooo, I have a fun little game I put together for tonight. It's like Bingo, and whoever gets five in a row first gets a special prize I've also put together!"

"T-These are...Wow," Makino says, blushing.

"Right?" Nami smiles.

I look over the tiles that read things like 'Hit a Jackpot', 'Do a body shot', and the center 'Free' Square says 'Robin Gets a Lap Dance.' Looking over Makino and Vivi's shoulder, it look like their's are the same as well.

"Why does the free square say that?"

"Because Robin is unquestionably getting at least one lap dance tonight, no if's, and's, or but's."

"That's fair," Robin says, seeming unperturbed by this apparent change of plans.

"Uh, and why is there a 'May Gets A Lap Dance' Square?" I ask tentatively.

"Oh, haha, I put that as a challenge."

"Oh boy."

"Alright! Let's make this a good night!"

The limo is filled with enthusiastic if apprehensive cheers as we drive to a swanky part of the city to begin Robin's bachelorette party.

* * *

 **10:30 pm**

We only stay in the casino a few hours until they politely ask us to leave. Robin has been killing it at the Blackjack table,while Nami has been rocking Roulette, and Makino and I both hit jackpots on the slots, while Vivi apparently is famous enough to get VIP treatment. We agreed that it would be best to take our winnings and split while we still had them and departed for the nearest bar.

It turns out, it's a gay bar and since we're close to Mystoria Street which has all the grand theaters, it's filled which performers, one man banging away on the piano in the corner while several patrons sing along to the old Victoria Cindry show tunes he plays. All in all, it's quite fun and we're all feeling pleasantly buzzed by the time Nami starts herding us back to the limo.

"Time for the best part of the night," she says, pushing open the door and leading us into a dark building lit up with neon lights.

The music is loud, louder than I would normally listen to and there appears to be a lounge-like area dotted with some tables, a bit like my coffeeshop! ...Well, if you exclude the stage taking up a good portion of the floor that has poles and some dancers on them that are currently being showered with money.

Then yeah, in that sense it's not like my café at all.

It seems like the stage is divided into two: male dancers on one side and female dancers on the other, with a mix of genders making up both sides of the audience and it seems this is a bikini club. Robin and Nami drag a blushing Vivi and Makino to a group of the lounge chairs right in the middle of the stage while I check out the alcohol situation since I feel like I'm going to need a bit more to get through this experience. I get a few drinks from the pretty if bored-looking woman stands behind the bar to take back to my friends and spend most of the time watching the athletic grace of the dancers while Nami whistles and places Beris on the stage every so often, and after a while, Vivi loosens up and does too.

At some point though, I notice that Nami has gone missing. It's only until the DJ lowers the music and takes over the mic that she shows back up, grinning deviously.

"It seems we have a soon-to-be bride in the house tonight!" the DJ announces and is answered by catcalls and whistles, and Robin raises an eyebrow at Nami, "Here's a little early wedding present to the lovely lady."

The music starts back up again and we can see something shifting behind the stage curtains, like a struggle is happening, before who would know it, but Franky is pushed out onto the stage. He freezes in the stage lights and waves a bit before he spots our group and quickly jumps off stage.

"Robin! I swear I'm not a pervert or anything, Sanji dragged us here for my bachelor's party-,"

"Ok," she cuts off his rambling, "So are you going to do something?"

"Er," he blinks, "What?"

She smiles and pulls out a wad of Beris.

"We are in that sort of place, and I've been promised at least one lap dance tonight."

Franky grins, forgetting his embarrassment and chuckles before striking a ridiculous pose. In his speedo, like usual, so really he isn't that out of place among the other dancers.

"Alright, but remember, you asked for it babe!"

I laugh and pull out my phone as Franky proceeds to give Robin the most hilariously over-the-top and silly dance that has probably ever been danced. I'm so distracted that I don't notice anything else until someone taps me on the shoulder. I look over to see a lady wearing very little smiling down at me.

"Hi there, honey," she purrs, "Could you use some company?"

"Ahhhh," I can't think of what to say for a moment, "I appreciate it, but I'm good."

"Your friend over there already paid for me to give you a nice little dance," she nods to Nami, who winks at me.

"Um. Ok then," I say, "Do I do anything with my hands?"

"Nope, just keep 'em at your side, honey," she says and slides into my lap; somewhere off to the side I can hear Nami cackling. She's probably taking pictures too.

"May's getting a lap dance!"

"Woohoo! Really?" Vivi calls somewhere over by the table as she takes a breath from doing a body shot of a lovely woman's stomach to pull out her Bingo card, "I got Bingo then! I win!"

I promise to get back at Nami later, but the night blurs as the two bachelor/bachelorette parties merge together and we end up back at Makino's to finish off the night and hope that we aren't hungover in the morning. According to Nami: a very successful bachelorette party!


	80. Chapter 73: In Which There Is A Wedding

**Author's Corner: Heya! Happy belated Easter everyone! Sorry I'm behind on chapter's; this week ended up being insanely busy, so we're stuck playing the catch up game again =~= Well, here is the long-awaited wedding! I at least wanted to give you guys this. Thanks to Tetsik, always, for being so patient with me.**

 **Also, there's been kinda a lack of reviews lately, and while it's not too big of a deal, it's slightly disheartening. I miss hearing from you all and hearing what you have to say/what you would like to see/any corrections/anything at all really! They really do help get me inspired to write, so if you could...maybe consider reviewing?**

 **Anyway, thank you all for reading, hope you had a lovely holiday!**

 **-jj**

* * *

 **10 April/Sunday/4:30 am**

"Nami, can I just say, getting us drunk when the ceremony is at dawn was not the smartest thing."

"No, having a wedding at the butt crack of dawn wasn't the smartest thing," she counters as she waits at the small dining table with her head down.

All of us have gotten roughly four hours of sleep (which isn't really a problem for me) and that has left about half of us with hangovers and half of us still a little drunk, with two hours to the ceremony and I am part of the latter group. And so, I'm in the galley, making the ultimate sober up/hangover cure breakfast before people start crawling out of their rooms, accompanied by not one but two of the coffee pots churning out drinks.

Oh yes, and I should probably mention that we're out at sea currently. Last night (or early this morning), we ended up at Party's Bar where we met up with Shanks, who suggested that since everyone that is going to be attending the wedding was already there, they should head down to the docks and set off on his yacht which is were the ceremony is to be held. Shanks is the officiant since apparently a while ago, he found out that he could not legally marry people simple because he was a captain, so he just said screw it and became ordained just so he could. And well, looks like it finally paid off.

Both he and Makino come tumbling into the galley now, and Makino makes a beeline for the coffee looking very blurry-eyed.

"Good morning! Should I mention that every single room on this ship is stocked with pills for headaches?" Shanks says, smiling despite the early hour.

Nami gets up from her seat immediately and goes rummaging around in the cabinets for the magic cure pills as well as a glass of water.

"I'll take some for Robin," she says and leaves, "Save me some breakfast."

The oven dings and I reach in to pull out the drop biscuits, but retract my hand quickly with a hissed _'ouch'_ because my vaguely drunken mind forgot to put on mitts. I suck on my burned fingers and pull the tray out with my other hand that is properly covered.

"Smells delicious, May," Makino says, "What do we have?"

"Biscuits and gravy with eggs, bacon, mushrooms, bell peppers, onions or migas on tortillas. Avocados and salsa on the side."

"How about both? Both is good," says Shanks.

"Help yourself. Makino, wanna get a tray to bring some over so we can give Robin breakfast in bed?"

We pile up enough food (and coffee) for the four of us women and knock gently on Robin's door. Nami answers it and ushers us in quickly where Robin is sitting up in her bed, looking for all the world as if she could commit murder right then and there. Definitely part of the hangover group. Her expression softens when the smell of food wafts over, but it's still kinda scary.

We spend breakfast pretty quietly in our pj's and it's very easy to tell when Luffy gets up. Since he doesn't drink, he must be the only one who isn't feeling the effects of alcohol and as such has no need to be quiet as he goes running through the halls yelling good morning at the top of his.

 _-CRASH-_

 _-BANG-_

 _-thud-_

Is all we hear and then it's quiet again.

"Alright," Robin says as she finished off her coffee, "I'm feeling human again. Let's get ready."

* * *

 **6:00 am**

The sky is a lovely, soft, pearly grey tinged with the softest of pinks that it gets before the sun breaks over the horizon. Shanks is at the helm, making some adjustments to stop. Where we are right now, we can still see land and Grand Line City sprawling in the distance, but most of the horizon is open ocean. Brook is quietly plucking at his guitar's strings and tuning them and all in all it makes for a scene of picturesque calm.

Unlike downstairs, which was complete chaos the last I saw of it as Nami and Makino worked to get Robin ready in a frenzy. The boys weren't faring much better, if Chopper, Zoro, Sanji, and Usopp running back and forth through the halls trying to find obscure lost items frantically was anything to go by. I wasn't too much help, so I was sent up to get the deck ready. I roll out the long carpet that everyone will process out on, arrange flowers here and there, and hang long ribbons down the makeshift aisle accompanied by more little bunches of flowers that flutter gently in the breeze.

I'm just putting the finishing touches on everything and discussing with Brook the logistics of what it would take to actually break glass with your voice when Nami comes thundering up the stairs and charges straight at us like a bull.

"May!" she yells, skidding to a halt in front of me, grabbing my shoulders, and giving me a little shake, "May, it's a disaster, I forgot the something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue for Robin!"

"Uhh, what's that? Do we really need those things?" I ask, startled.

"Do you _want_ Robin and Franky to have a successful marriage?!" she demands, "I have the Beri in the shoe covered...WAIT! I didn't pack Robin's shoes when we boarded yesterday! Oh no, this wedding is ruined, and Robin's going to be deported, and-!"

I slap a hand over Nami's mouth and take a quick look around.

"You said something old, new, borrowed, and blue? Ok, well, let's think about this: Robin's dress is new isn't it?" I say; Nami nods quietly, my hand still over her mouth, "Well, there's that taken care of. And, Nami is that bracelet you're wearing the one Luffy gave you for White Day? The one from Skypiea?"

She nods again.

"That can be the something old! Now, Brook, I think you have the same shoe size as Robin, right?"

He lifts his foot up to proudly display the pristine white high heels of his and proclaims, "Indeed I am!"

"Perfect! There's the shoes and something borrowed," I beam, "So that takes care of that, we have all we need."

"What? No, May, we still need something blue!"

"We already have one," I say, "Isn't it obvious? Franky is something blue."

Both Nami and Brook stare at me for a long moment, then share a glance with each other before Brook breaks out in chuckles and Nami huffs a laugh and steps forward to hug me, putting her forehead on my shoulder.

"Oh May," she laughs, "That is so stupid yet so brilliant, thank you. Brook, I'll be taking your shoes, you two better get ready because we're starting soon."

Brook gladly offers up his heels and Nami goes rushing back down the stairs and below deck, announcing victoriously that I found a solution. I smile and take the arm that Brook offers me to help me over to the stairs where everyone will be walking out from.

"It's really happening, isn't it?" I say, not really addressing Brook or anyone but just thinking aloud to myself.

"About time, if you ask me," he says, "Those two have been sneaking behind everyone'e backs for longer than I think _they_ think I know. Although the situation is perhaps not ideal, at least it spurred them to action finally, yohoho!"

"Wait, have you known about Franky and Robin being together secretly?" I ask.

"Oh yes! When you get to my age, you tend to become proficient in spotting these things," he states in amusement.

"How old are you again?"

He just laughs and does not give me an answer.

* * *

Shanks leads the procession onto the deck, followed closely by Brook who plays his guitar lightly as he walks. Franky walks by himself looking sharp in a suit and pants for once, Sanji and Chopper follow, so does Usopp armed with a camera and taking pictures of everything all the way down the aisle, and the three of them take their positions off to the side. Next is me and Zoro, Luffy and Makino, and then Iceburg and Nami. And finally, it's Robin's turn. The first soft notes of Pachelbel's Canon start up and everyone looks to the stairs.

Looking like a perfect dream of an angel, she ascends the stairs and starts to walk slowly down the aisle and with perfect timing, the sun just spills over the horizon and washes over us all. It's probably the most beautiful scene, but she is only looking at one thing, and that's Franky. I take a peek at him and see he's in the same boat. Literally and figuratively. I also see that his waterworks have already started as he watches her. Ah shoot, I've gotta look away from him because I might start crying too and then it'll be a mess.

She reaches the end of the carpet and for a moment, it's just her and Franky looking into each other's eyes and no one else is around. Shanks rubs at his stubble covered chin a bit and grins before clearing his throat.

"Well," he begins, "I think we all know why we're here. But, I'll say this any way because I've been dying to do this for years now: dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses and friends to join these two dear people, Cutty Flam "Franky" and Nico Robin, in matrimony."

Iceburg has to hand Franky a handkerchief to dry his eyes, and Nami even has to pass one to Robin who's starting to look teary-eyed as well, and neither of them can stop smiling. Sanji's crying too, although I think that's mostly because Usopp viciously stomped on his foot when he tried to say something after Shanks asked if there was anyone who objected to the marriage.

I catch Luffy's eye across the way and grin, which he returns immediately, nearly bouncing where he stands because he's so excited.

And finally, finally, finally, Shanks pronounces them husband and wife and says with a big smile, "So now you can get on to the good part. Give each other a smooch!"

Robin takes Franky and dips him into a kiss while we cheer and throw flower petals over them, and oh geez, now we're all crying and it doesn't look like it's going to stop any time soon. We all swarm the newlyweds with congratulations, hugs, and kisses. Over it all, we hear Brook say "It's a good thing I'm the only one with cold feet this morning! Yohoho!"

Usually, any one of us would get slapped for such a terrible joke like that (even though _I_ think they're hilarious), but everyone is too caught up in the happy moment and let's it go.

Just this once.

* * *

 **7:20 pm**

There was a big party of all our friends waiting for us when we made it back to shore and Robin and Franky were greeted with more whoops and hollers and hugs and slaps on the back. The rest of the day was spent leisurely with the wedding party (joined by a few more friends now) going out to brunch, taking pictures, and then dispersing (mostly to sleep off any residual hangovers) before the reception and sundown. Ace convinced me and Luffy to simply stay on the beach since we'd be staying in Water 7 for the reception party. We made quite a sight there on the sand in dress clothes and trying our best not to ruin them.

We sit there on a blanket covering the sand and watching the sun begin to go down before we head over to Galley-La which has been jazzed up for the reception.

"Man, I'm so jealous I wasn't there," Ace says; I have my arms wrapped around both him and Luffy as they lean into my sides to keep me warm from the evening ocean breeze since this dress doesn't have sleeves, "I wanted to be the person that cried the most at their wedding."

"You can still cry during the toasts," Luffy points out.

"I guess," he sighs, and looks at his watch, "Speaking of, we've gotta get going."

"Nnnn, that means I have to walk across the sand," I whine, "In heels. Do you know how hard that is?"

"I've gotcha!" Luffy says and hops up to turn his back to me, "Piggyback, May! Up you go!"

Minding my dress, I carefully pull myself onto Luffy's back and he lifts me up as Ace folds up the blanket and we begin our trek over to Galley-La where Paulie greets us and checks us off the guest list very formally, hiding his smile at me getting a piggyback ride still. We brush any sand on our feet at the door and head in. The big gates at the other side of the warehouse leading to the ocean have been pulled aside to give us a view of the sunset and the large room is hung with strands of lights from side to side, flowers, and swaths of ribbons of teal, blue, and purple.

Nami waves us over to the head table and we rush over, just making it to our seats before music starts and Robin and Franky enter to everyone's applause and whistles, to make their way to the dance floor set up in the middle of the room. Their first dance is a swing accompanied by a jazz band Brook has put together for the occasion. The second dance, Kokoro steps onto the floor to dance with Franky and Iceburg offers his hand to Robin, since neither of them really have relatives for this. It doesn't matter though, not when they've made a family for their own.

All of us of course get a chance to dance with Robin and Franky. Chimeny dances on Franky's feet in an energetic two-step, Luffy kinda stomps his way through his dance with Robin, and she leads me through a waltz with a bit of fumbling on my part, but I mostly get the hang of it towards the end. We laugh and have fun which is the important thing.

And then the cake is pulled out and I bask in the appreciative murmurs I hear floating around. It is a fine cake, smooth white with hints of soft teal and lavender, with elegant designs of hibiscus and leaves piped onto it and hibiscus flowers made of fondant spilling down the tiers in the front.

"It's awesome!" Franky says happily, "Uh, but how are we going to be able to kiss over it?"

We all look around at each other and to the cake which stands a good five tiers tall and stands over both Robin and Franky's heads on the table it sits on.

"We could chicken it," Robin finally says.

Five seconds of silence pass before Luffy whoops and starts chanting, "Do it, do it!" and the crowd joins in. Chopper and Zoro get pushed forward by the people behind them and laughing, Franky helps Robin get onto Zoro's shoulders, wedding dress and all before hopping onto Chopper's shoulders himself.

This is probably going to end horribly.

I get out my phone just in case it does.

Steadying themselves over the cake by grasping each other's hands, the couple manages to safely kiss over the top of the cake.

"Chicken fight! Chicken fight!" someone calls trying to start up a chant which doesn't take and Franky points in the direction the shout came from.

"Hell no, you crazy bastard! Someone pass me a knife so we can cut this thing!"

Zoro passes a sword up to Robin.

"Where the fuck did you pull that from?" asks Sanji and Zoro shrugs as best as he can with Robin still on his shoulders.

"Don't worry about it."

"Are we really cutting our wedding cake with a sword?' Franky asks incredulously.

"Don't you want to?" Robin asks him.

"Fuck yeah I do! Come over here so we can cut it together!"

Using the sword, they slice through the cake and feed each other the slices. Robin smushes Franky's piece into his mouth with a playful smile and he gets her back by kisses her cheek with frosting smeared all over his mouth. It almost sends them reeling, but Chopper and Zoro manage to hold firm.

"Alright! We still need someone to get drunk and give a toast!" Franky declares, "No wedding reception is complete without drunken toasts!"

"I've got dibs!" Ace hollers through a mouthful of cake.

"Working on it!" Kokoro laughs as well, holding up a glass of champagne that sloshes over the sides a bit.

"Just you wait, I'm going to cry so much."

"Looking forward to it," Robin smiles.

"May, gimme your glass, I need to get drunk before Kokoro-san," Ace tells me, but I dodge his reaching hand with a smile and hold it out of his reach to down it in one go.

What? I wanna give a drunk toast as well. If this is what a reception needs, then of course I want to give that to Franky and Robin. Giving a giggle, I race Ace to the closest bottle of champagne and start a competition to see who can get drunk first to give the toast.

In the end, Shanks beat us all and gave the first toast that none of us would forget.


	81. Chapter 74: In Which Spring Ends

**11 April/Monday/3:00 am**

"And the evil spirits will come and get you on your wedding night, unless you manage to scare them off," Nami says in a solemn voice as we sit on the floor of my home upon scattered pillows taken from my couches.

"RARRRGH!" Luffy jumps out at Robin and Franky, startlingly most of our group and making Franky shriek very high and very loudly.

Everyone is still in their dress clothes; the women have discarded our shoes and most of the guys have loosened their ties and rolled up their sleeves. Franky has discarded his pants for his usual speedo. In between us all on the floor rests a little fondue pot which we occasionally dip little bits like bread, veggies, and various meats into.

Robin simply chuckles at Luffy's display and gently wrestles him into her lap so he can't escape.

"Thank you for keeping us safe, Luffy," Franky laughs after calming down.

"So, is this how you thought you'd be spending your wedding night?" Nami asks, stabbing a sausage and dipping it into the cheese.

The two newlyweds share a glance and then chuckle.

"Actually, it's not too far off from what I imagined," Robin says.

"Yeah, gorging ourselves on food and resting from the wedding? I don't think I got a chance to eat a single scrap of food besides cake and champagne," Franky adds; me and Ace who are leaning on each other tiredly _clink!_ our respective bottles of champagne together as we chew on cheesily-dripping bread, "I was about to drop!"

"Or stab the next person that tried to make a toast the moment we got a chance to sit down and eat," Robin says coolly.

"My feet are killing me," I whine around a mouthful of food, "How do you do this all the time, Brook?"

"Lots of practice!"

"I think that went very well. Got lots of good pictures," Usopp comments, taking a bit of brie cheese and dipping it in more cheese; Sanji looks at him in horror and disgust, "No brawls broke out, no one called the cops, and there was no awkward in-law tension to get in the way!"

"Oh man, Shanks' speech was something though," chuckles Zoro.

"Could you take my hair down?" I ask Ace to the side as everyone laughs; I don't really feel like using my hands right now and Nami did something complicated that involved a lot of pins to twist my hair up.

"Mmhm," he pops a piece of artichoke heart into his mouth and hands me his little fondue poker to start pulling out the pins that are holding up my hair; it tumbles down my back and shoulders and he helps it along by mussing it up as I reach out and skewer a bit of pulled pork onto each of our pokers, passing his back.

"Favorite lines from the speech?" Usopp asks.

"'May your ups and downs be between the sheets'!" Nami and Zoro laugh in unison and everyone breaks into laughter as well.

"That had to have been one of the top 20 wedding speeches ever!" Franky chortles, "Glad it happened at ours!"

Sanji takes a look at his watch.

"Ge- _ez_ ," he hisses and then addresses the group, "I'm on bakery at the Baratie today, I have to be in at four. Hate to bounce, but I gotta."

"Have fun!" I cheer and wave a tired hand to him as he stumbles to get up and grabs his coat.

"Don't get shanked on your way," Nami says absently as she munches on some broccoli and Sanji clutches his heart, nearly swooning.

"We should actually be on our way as well," Robin says, brushing some crumbs off her white dress, "Got a train to catch soon."

We all scramble up to give her and Franky parting hugs and well wishes on their honeymoon and see them off to the door as Franky sweeps Robin off her feet and carries her out. They hop into Franky's car that has cans and ribbons attached to the back, as well as a 'Just Married' sign. He revs the engine and they're off.

"Alright: I'm going to sleep," I announce when they're finally out of sight; most of us have been up for close to twenty four hours and though I can function with little sleep, it has been a busy day, "You guys are welcome to crash here."

As if he had been waiting for the invitation, Ace literally crashes and drops to the floor, snoring loudly. Luffy laughs boisterously at his brother and instantly drops right next to him, out like a light.

"Someone get them a blanket," I say, shuffling my way over to the stairs.

"You don't wanna at least put them on the couch?"

"Nah."

* * *

 **9:00 am**

"Ugh, my neck is killing me," Ace gripes as he yawns and sits up from the floor; Luff had woken up at the first light of day like a bird and shot out of the café already.

"Hm, I wonder why that is," I muse from the coffeeshop's sofa, a Sudoku puzzle propped up on my chest and a steaming cup of tea on the table next to me.

He comes over and falls on top of me with a yawn, making me give out a strangled choking sound. To add insult to the injury, he steals my tea.

Cerberus must think that she is a lapdog, because she trots over and hops up to sprawl over Ace's lap. By extension, me as well.

And because this seems to be a Let's-See-If-We-Can-Either-Crush-Or-Suffocate-May-To-Death type of morning, Chou Chou jumps up too.

"Haha, it's a dog pile," Ace points out, rubbing Cerberus' tummy vigorously.

I wheeze out a laugh unable to resist the joke, but it's quite difficult with the heavy weights pressing down on me. Ace wiggles around so his butt is squeezed between me and the back cushions, taking some of the pressure off my torso. The bell rings, but I can't exactly sit up to look at who just entered.

"Sorry, we're closed today!" I call out just in case; I feel like I shouldn't have to say this, but I guess some people just can't read signs. To be fair, I have to reading comprehension level of a 10 year old, so I can't judge.

"Traffy-sensei!" Ace calls warmly.

"Trafellow!" I say and wave my hand over the couch in greeting and Ace grins and plays along.

"Trafalbala!"  
"Trafallacious."  
"Trafalsetto."  
"Traffic Cone!" I finish proudly.

I struggle to lean up just enough to peer over the back of the couch to see Law trying to make an about face but is impeded by Cora-san.

"Law! We haven't even said hello to your friends, why are you trying to leave already?" the tall man asks.

"I have suddenly remembered I have to be somewhere else."

"Nonsense! You told me you cleared your schedule today so we could have a father-son bonding day," Cora-san says.

"Gosh, Laws, you'd think you didn't want to see us," Ace pouts, twisting to lean over the sofa.

"Yeah, Lawsy," I echo.

"Shut up, you two."

"Cora-san!" gasps Ace, "Did you hear that? Law said the 'S-word'!"

"That's very impolite of you," Rosinante admonishes his son.

"Why are you all teaming up against me?!"

"Now, now Law, we can't stand here bickering all day. It's the end of Spring so we have to make the most of it," says Cora-san and I scramble up, startling Cerberus and Chou Chou off of me; Ace remains unperturbed.

"It's the last day of Spring!?" I yelp, "Oh no, I haven't gone around to find an street side fruit stands this year! I simply _must_ before Spring ends."

"There's still time," Ace says.

"That sounds like a wonderful time! Would you mind if we joined you?" asks Rosinante.

"Of course!"

"Coffee first," says Law.

* * *

 **12:15 pm**

"Ahhhhh~," I inhale the wondrous aromas of fresh fruit that waft over from all around, "This must be what heaven smells like."

"Really? I always thought it smelled like kerosene and smoke," Ace says.

"Antiseptic and fresh snow. But the again, heaven isn't real."

"Wow, way to be a fuckin' downer, Lawsy," Ace tells him, "It's a figure speech."

Law smacks him on the back of the head sharply.

"Don't you _swear_ in front of my god damn father."

Ignoring my friends bickering behind me, I go up to the nearest cart in this little bazaar of local farmers we stumbled upon in the Jaya district surprisingly enough. It's a stall holding box upon box of the most jeweled strawberries: bright red, glistening, and swollen with ripeness. I can't help but faceplant straight into one of the crates of fruit and breath in the most lovely scent.

"Uh, excuse me," the stall vendor coughs awkwardly, "Please get you nose out of there…"

"Sorry! I'll take this crate right here," I say sheepishly, "How much?"

"250 Beris."

"What a steal!"

"Don't mind my friend here, she's a bit drunk," Ace says, coming up behind me.

"Drunk? It's midday and I haven't seen you drink anything but tea," says Law.

"We had so much to drink last night. This morning. Er, y'know, in the last 24 hours," Ace explains.

" _So_ much," I add, popping a strawberry into my mouth and offering one to Ace and the other two as well.

"Ooo, they have cabbage and lettuce over at those stalls there!" Cora-san points out and starts over to it; he immediately steps on a crack in the street and goes tumbling over.

Law sighs in a way that seems like this is a common occurrence and goes to help him up. On his way, Rosinante-san slips again and falls, again, this time bringing Law with him.

This repeats several times.

Ace and I watch on, eating our delicious strawberries.

* * *

 **5:30 pm**

I hum to myself as I give my room a deep clean. Since it is the final day of Spring, this is my last chance to do a proper Spring cleaning, and I'm making the most of it. My closet has taken up most of my time since it has become mysteriously more packed and disorderly with clothes than I think is normal and requires a lot of organizing. I shove a furry and definitely _not_ Red's coat into the back corner with my other winter/random winter day gear and let out a self-satisfied puff of air.

I reach down to pick up the Hawaiian shirt that had been laying in the 'clean pile' of clothes and shuffle over to tuck it into the box that has a home under my bed. Like usual, E's face smiles up at me.

I do miss her a lot. It's only been four years since she passed away, after we were together for nine years before, when she had found me when I was 8 or so.

She was the second person I ever remember meeting and proved to be much better than the first. As it was, when I stumbled upon that farm all those years ago, the owner who found me had a daughter.

E used to tell me that every so often in life, you'll meet people who seem to have no other purpose than to be miserable to you for no reason. Her father was that kind of person, although he may not have always been, but that was a long time ago, long before I was in the picture. By the time he found a small, dirty, lost child picking fruit off his trees, he was the sort of person Eve would call 'cruel'.

If she hadn't found me on that same day, locked in a fridge with hundreds of lady bugs crawling all over me in the cold dark, taken me away and to the nearest hospital, there's a good chance I wouldn't be where I am this day.

As you can imagine, it was quite traumatizing to be stuck in there for I don't know how long, feeling the tiny things crawling all over my skin slowly fall off and stop moving one by one, wondering if—when—it would happen to me. That kind of thing has a funny way to stick with a person, although I'm much better off than when I was younger and it doesn't take me so long to recover from an attack anymore.

My phone buzzes, startling me out of my thoughts, and I see a message from Luffy. It's not until I'm reading it and a few drops fall on the screen that I realize that my cheeks are wet.

' _MAY! I just found dogs wearing clothes!,'_ I read the message and absently wipe my eyes as I watch a flood of photos of multiple dogs wearing sunglasses, hats, and little doggie shirts pop up in rapid succession.

I laugh a bit as the photos suddenly switch to Luffy's face with Ace's and Sabo's blurry faces in the background: apparently, he changed the camera without noticing. His brothers _do_ notice and strike ridiculous poses behind him. Laughing a bit more, I'm surprised when Chou Chou wiggles his way into my lap and Cerberus lays her head on my legs as well.

I rub more vigorously at my eyes to clear them and stand up with the little white dog in my arms. Invigorated and casting aside the sad thoughts, I gently pack up the box and return it to its place under my bed, grateful that I've found friends that continue to disprove my first impression of humans.


	82. Chapter 75: In Which The Day Is Pink

**Author's Corner:...Yup. I got nothing. These two chapters are credited to otakugamer98 on tumblr for going out of their way to send me a message on tumblr about this story and giving me inspiration to start cranking out some severely-behind chapters and my (super amazing, incredibly patient, I-don't-deserve-them) helper Tetsik for putting up with me vanishing with no explanation. I'm sorry I'm like this guys, I really am.**

 **WAYS YOU CAN HELP ME WRITE CHAPTERS:**

 **If you have a discord, please PM for a join code for the chat I have going with Tetsik. I cannot stress enough that this would help me so much more to communicate with all you lovely readers, to hear you feedback, ideas, what you want to see from the story, and more. If nothing else, you can yell at me to write. Also, reviews or messages to my tumblr are also an option**

 **Other than that, you all are so awesome and patient, and I don't deserve such nice readers like you. Thank you for all your recent reviews! If you left a review and you have an FF account, look forward to a response from me via PM because that's how I answer reviews now rather than in the A'sC.**

 **As always, thank you for reading! I'm gonna try to get some more chapters out this week, but I'm seriously hoping to hear from you all!**

 **-jj**

* * *

 **13 April/Wednesday/7:00 am**

Spring ended with a bang and I woke up this morning to a thunderous lightning storm rolling through Grand Line, followed by some softball-sized hail, a sprinkle of rain, and a couple of small tornadoes thrown in for good measure. It was clear enough at sunrise that I could see the sky was a pretty pink before I watched and sipped my tea as a twister tore down Red Line in a clean straight line interestingly enough.

Bright and early, as soon as seven o'clock hits, the door slams open and Nami followed closely by Elder Nyon storm in much like Grand Line's weather this morning.

"No!" I shout immediately and brace myself behind the counter, armed with a phonebook and ready to fight or flee, "No no _no_ , I am NOT leaving the café today!"

"Nyo choice!" the old lady says, shuffling with alarming speed towards the counter; I start to move to the other end to get some distance between us. "We made an agreement!"

"Against my will and without my knowledge!" I protest, now hopping up in the counter to avoid her grabbing hands, "Too many things have gotten in between me and working lately, so I am _not_ leaving."

I have to shimmy out of the way of Nami who is tring to grab me from the other side as well.

"I told you as soon as the cast comes off, you're back at Amazon Lily, May," Nami reminds me; I shove my foot to keep her at bay as she tries to sweep at my ankles and knock me off balance.

"Tough luck, I'm not going anywhere," I say stubbornly, "I'm happy to go with you next Monday, but not a day before then."

I yelp in pain as Elder Nyon's staff slams into the back of my knees and makes me topple onto Nami. I slap pitifully at her face to get her to drop me, but she holds me steady.

"Stop being difficult, May," she grits out."

"No," I huff, "I am not going to cooperate at all and I'm not going to model today."

She gives me an analytical look and shakes her head.

"Sorry, Elder Nyon, you won't get May. She's being stubborn."

"How disappnyointing!" she cries, "Fine then—I better see you at 10 o'clock sharp on Monday morning."

She pokes my stomach with her staff and takes her leave. Nami sets me down.

"You know you could make so much more money as a model than you do here," she informs me primly.

"And _you_ know the café is my pride and dream."

She sighs in resignation.

"Yeah, I know."

"Thank you for understanding," I wrap my arms around her neck and she pats my head distractedly as she watches a monsoon wash through the street just outside the window.

"Since you're not making me money today, you owe me a free breakfast," she says bluntly after a moment.

"How does that logic work?!"

* * *

 **1:15 pm**

Grand Line is enjoying a midday blizzard that started a little after noon and I'm trying to kick the ancient wood stove in the corner that heats the café (affectionately named Fern) into life. The bell jingles above the door and in walks a character that I think must take the cake for 'People That Dress Like They Shop at Elton John's Secondhand Show Store'. It's a bit hard to look directly at him because all my eyes can register is 'PINK' and 'a lot of it'.

"Good day," he says with a grin that looks painful for his face as he steps inside.

The pink grows larger with each step he takes until it overwhelms my vision and leaves nothing but the all-consuming color like some kind of inescapable, feathery pink void. He snaps his fingers in front of my face after I don't respond for a solid minute, my mind too distracted by **_pink_** to form a coherent response.

"Ahem!" I clear my throat loudly, snap out of my pink-induced haze, give Fern a hearty kick which makes her judder into life, "Sorry—hello, how can I help you?"

"What do you have in the way of iced coffee?" he asks pleasantly.

"Uh, you do know it's currently snowing, right?"

His grin just gets wider.

Ouch, my cheeks hurt just looking at him.

"Uh. Right," I say awkwardly and walk over to the counter to get his drink order made; my customer takes a seat at the counter as he waits, humming quietly to himself and smile never leaving his face.

"So," he starts after a moment, folding his hands, "Have you known a young—ha—gentleman that has the disposition of a wet cat and the fashion of a wet floor caution sign to frequent here in the last…mmm, couple of months?"

I start coughing heavily after choking on my spit because I'm kinda-maybe-sorta-72%-sure that there can only be one person that this man is referring to based on that vivid description.

However.

Being friends with the people _I_ am friends with…I have been taught from very early on when I first moved to Grand Line to always deny any knowledge **ever** of seeing, knowing, so much as associating with any of them. Why? Well, I may be pretty dumb when it comes to a lot of stuff, and I mean _really_ dumb, but after two years of knowing my friends, even I can come to the conclusion that at least half if not all of them have been or presently are criminals.

And if I'm right and this pink feather man is asking about Law, there has been no doubt in my mind from Day 1 that he does some shady shtuff of the legality of is highly up to contention.

"Sorry, I have absolutely-positutely no idea who you're talking about," I say after recovering from my coughing fit as I hand him his drink.

He pulls the sugar packet bowl on the counter over to himself and takes out a handful of sugars and begins to tear the packages slowly, the paper making long, tearing _riiiiiip_ 's.

"Hm, what a shame," he muses, pouring one, two, three, _four_ sugars into his drink; he swirls the cup around to mix it up before setting it down, "Fufufu, that's a very unique sweater you have there. What is that logo? I've seen it somewhere before…I wonder where…"

I look slowly down at the random sweater I ran upstairs to throw on when the snow started falling. And, just as he oh-so-accurately described, the colors reminiscent of a wet floor sign and an upside down smiley face greet my eyes.

"Um."

I say.

"Well."

I look back up at the man who leans his chin on his propped-up hands and smiles, eyes hidden behind his tinted sunglasses.

I give a small cough.

"Funny, I can't remember where I got this," I want to cringe as my voice gets noticeably higher, but manage to hold it in. Just.

His grin grows and I can't really tell if he believes that, but the sinking feeling somewhere between my chest and my butt tells me he probably doesn't.

He chuckles again and I just know he's going to call me out on my shit, but his words surprise me.

"Thanks for the coffee, sweetheart, it was tasty."

"Oh, thank you," the compliment catches me off guard, "You like it? It's good, right-?"

He gets up abruptly and starts walking out of the coffeeshop without a parting word.

"Oh. Ok. Uh, have a good day," I call out after him.

The door closes and it's quiet for a few moments.

"Shoot! I didn't get his name!"

I brush up the empty sugar packets he left behind and something else occurs to me too late.

"Sonnuva—! He didn't pay for his drink!"

* * *

 **7:00 pm**

"So look, all I'm saying is, that—hypothetically—if the entire world's population congregated in Grand Line City and on signal, jumped at the same time, we could with the combined weight and gravity of everyone theoretically alter the orbit of the world," Usopp explains to us over dinner and games, "Situations in which this would be useful: a meteor is headed right for us, but it's projected path only needs to miss us by _thiiiiis_ much to be safe. If we suddenly found out that we're on a collision course with the sun and also needs a _liiiitle_ bit to let us scoot by."

"I have _no_ idea what you're talking about, but that sounds cool," I tell him cheerfully.

"Ok, but then you now have the problem of **a lot** of people in a concentrated area," Nami reasons, "It would take so long to get the back to where they came from afterwards, you'd probably have a shortage of food for them all, the streets would be so congested with traffic that emergency vehicles probably couldn't get anywhere. Best case scenario: anarchy breaks out in a dystopian free-for-all and all form of government falls to chaos."

"Anarchy!"  
"Down with all conventional forms of government!"  
"No borders, no nations, just people!" Some of my friends yell.

"Worst case scenario:," Nami continues on a bit louder to be heard over them, "Everyone dies and the crisis you 'hypothetically' managed to have us avoid is null."

"But we moved the world," I tell her, as I quietly knock Sabo's piece off the board and send it back it his home; he doesn't seem to notice, "You have to admit, that's pretty sweet."

"You know what, you're absolutely right, it doesn't matter that we'll all die, we did something sciencey and awesome," she says and then sighs, "Game nights just aren't the same without Franky and Robin. I hope they're having fun, but I hope they come back soon."

"By the way. Guys," Usopp says, "Speaking of game nights, I really want us to get into Slammers & Sea Kings."

"Isn't that a nerd game?" Sanji asks, "For _nerds?"_

"I _love_ that game!" Vivi says excitedly, "I've been playing since I was eleven!"  
"Favorite class?!" Usopp asks, a fire burning in his eyes at having found a kindred spirit as they clasp hands, "I like bards or rangers, they're the best!"  
"I prefer fighters or rogues, but whatever suits the team is good for me," Vivi says.

"This sounds like an excellent idea, when can we start," Sanji makes a 180 and says this completely serious-faced; both Nami and Zoro roll their eyes to the side.

"Well, we have to make characters first: you choose their class which determines their abilities, and give them backgrounds, and-," he goes on for quite a while, speaking very quickly and without stopping for air until he has to stop with a choke, face turning blue, and inhale a large breath.

"Ah, I haven't played that in such a long time!" Brooks says, placing another of his pieces in his final port and getting that much closer to winning, "My and my companions used to have quite the campaigns back in the day when it was first created!"

"Uh, how old are you again Brook?" Usopp asks, "Slammers and Sea Kings has been around for _decades_."

"Yohoho! Don't worry about it."

"Sounds fun!" Nami says, takes her turn and then nudges Sabo to go since he's been distracted by doodling on Ace's sleeping face, "Let's bring it back up again when Robin and Franky get back."

Sabo caps off the pen and looks back at the board.

"What?! Who sent me back to home?!"


End file.
